People Who Gave Up Their Dream For A Stable Job Explain Whether They Regret Their Decision
When I was little, I dreamt about becoming a famous actress who made lots of money, got interviewed by big names in the entertainment industry, and attended red-carpet events.
While I would never say no if I were ever offered a movie role, I know my shyness coupled with my lack of experience means I'll never make a living as an actress. I have a proper adult job, and I focus on working, taking care of my family, and learning useful skills, such as how to cook. Acting is not a part of my daily life.
Now, I know I was never meant to be an actress. I may be able to act, but I'm way too shy to get up on stage. It's not something I'm truly sad about.
However, there are people who have similar dreams and tried to make it happen. Unfortunately, they had to face the truth that they either couldn't achieve their dreams or took their dream as far as it would go, and had to go down a different path.
Many people on Reddit are sharing how they tried to get their dream job, but were forced to give up on it, and what regrets, if any, they have about that,
Curious to find out more, Redditor GeneReddit123 asked:
"Redditors who gave up pursuing their 'dream' to settle for a more secure or comfortable life, how did it turn out and do you regret your decision?"
Some people gave up on their dreams, but found a good life, and rarely, if ever, think about their past dreams.
The Dream Wasn't What I Thought
"My dream was to become a translator for Nintendo, specifically the Zelda franchise. Studied Japanese and lived there for a year, then became a video game translator at a small studio. Afterwards a Localization Project Manager at a bigger Korean company. Worked my way up to maybe, maybe one day be hired by Nintendo. Lost more and more passion for games on the way, heard awful stories about working at Nintendo and slowly realized that this isnt the right job for me after all. Translators are - most of the time - underpaid and the whole thing isn't as romantic as it seems. Decided to do something entirely else, left the gaming and Localization industry and am now a really happy (and well paid) Product Manager for an e-commerce company. I will never go back. Knowing Japanese (well, the bit that is left after not using it for years) is a good party trick still, so no regrets. Was a fun time but it had to end."
– Odango777
"People don't realize that institutions, like corporations, often utilize worker passion as an excuse to mistreat them (pay less, make unsustainable demands). Thus why a story like yours just echoes through this whole thread. For example, it's what the world is doing to a whole generation of frontline healthcare workers rn."
– ishitar
Music vs. Education
"When I was in college, I wasn't the most enthusiastic student. I barely hung onto my grades and spent most of my time partying. I mostly hung out with a buddy of mine who played drums for a thrash punk band that was on the cusp of being something. He taught me how to play and I was surprisingly good at the drums."
"One day, my buddy broke his arm and the band asked me to sub in for him. I played like five shows with them and had a hell of a time doing it. While he was recovering, my buddy wound up moving out of state and the band asked if I wanted to replace him permanently."
"I think about that moment a lot, but wound up changing my major and getting through college. I now work in IT for a large company and think it worked out for the best. In hindsight, the music was pretty much unlistenable and the band went no-where, but there are definitely days when I'm overwhelmed at work and I wonder what could have been. Maybe it's just age at this point, but I don't think I could have kept up with it for long."
– FakePlasticSN
Not Quite Good Enough
"Turned out great, just not right at the moment as I am still job hunting after having to quit my previous job. Still no regrets though."
"I went to college to become a 3D animator. Something I always dreamed about. I was top of the class, constantly won awards for my work. I honestly thought I was going to make it big. Then the final semester started and all the seniors were required to go to a special hiring event where tons of big names would be. I got my portfolio and resume copies ready to go, and spent hours researching the big names and their projects as well as rehearsing lots of practice questions."
"It was devastating. No one would look twice at my stuff. Introduced myself, made some awkward small talk as they were so disinterested, then as I walked away they would immediately put it in the stack with hundreds of other portfolios, and not in the special pile."
"I switched up my game. I started introducing myself with a quick mention that I had a background in programming (I did). Thinking that maybe that would give me an edge. Oh boy did it work. Suddenly I was getting personal business cards, phone numbers and emails, my resume was put on the special pile."
"It was at that moment I realized I went into the wrong field. I was just a tiny insignificant drop in a sea of artists, many of whom were much more talented than I could ever be."
"Finished up my degree and went back to college for a BS in Computer Science. Got my first job right out of college from an internship I did over the summer. The job itself was heaven, and I really enjoyed it. It also helped that I made bank when I was there. Paid off all my school loans within 3 years and had plenty to invest and put into savings."
"While it sucks not having anything right now, I'm hoping to find something soon."
"Side note: The 3D stuff I still do as a hobby. Not nearly as good as I once was, but it is still fun and relaxing."
– -PM_me_your_recipes-
Not Too Surprising
"It was fine, but no one gives a sh*t if you're a professional bassoonist and there really isn't enough paying work."
"I did it professionally for eight years before quitting to raise kids. Now I work in IT. If I had to do it over again, I'd have just gotten a real job and not put so much time into an instrument that I don't like playing."
– RPBN
"You know what the bassoon is? It’s a cry for help!”
– but_uhm
Others do have regrets about not following their dreams, or trying and giving up too soon.
The Band Didn't Make It
"Honestly turned out great. I realised my band wasn’t going to get a record deal after a few years and then after playing for other peoples bands for a while it started to become less fun."
"I got a ‘proper’ job, started working on my career and used my new spare time to start playing rugby again. Now I’ve got a really good job in a sector I enjoy working in, married, kids, nice house all that stuff and I still play rugby on Saturdays (pre pandemic) to keep things a little different as well as keeping in shape."
"I don’t really see it as giving up on my dream. It was just recognizing that it wasn’t going to happen. I’m very fond of that period of my life and having spent quite a few years chasing that particular dream I don’t have any regrets or what-if’s about being in a band."
– jprimus
They Rose Again
"I worked in video games for almost 19 years. I worked for Sega as a tester in college, got a masters degree in education and worked for The Learning Company designing educational games. The educational software market started to collapse."
"I eventually left the industry for other fields but I miss making games for kids."
"I’ve met so many people who grew up playing the games I designed and built. Maybe after my kids are out if the house I’ll try to make games again."
– practicalm
Writing Isn't Just Writing
"Being a successful writer means taking on far more than just writing your book or short story."
"I'm a medical writer for a cancer center and love it, but I always wanted to write other things as well. I spent two years writing the memoir of a friend who served as a helicopter crew chief in Vietnam, including time in special ops running covert missions into Laos and Cambodia. I hoped to publish it, but finding an agent has beaten me down."
"Today you can't be just a good writer; you need to have a strong presence on social media, with a lot of followers on Twitter/Facebook and a popular blog, because agents and publishers expect you to be the marketing engine."
"I'm in my 60s now and just don't have that level of energy anymore. It's not the writing that's hard -- it's the hustle."
– BSB8728
Doctor, Doctor!
"Part of me regretted it, part of me knew I had to."
"I always wanted to be a doctor. No pushy parents or anything like that. I just wanted to fix problems, and medical things seemed like the most interesting problems, things change, get worse/better, and add new problems. My little brother was born and developed seizures and developmental issues. I decided Pediatrics was for me! The same problems/puzzles but with the added intrigue of the patient being unable to tell me what was wrong. Sounds a bit sick, but that's what my brain wanted."
"I didn't get the grades at school, unfortunately, my step dad died, and it messed me up a bit being needed at home with my siblings, and I shifted my focus. I did go to university, did an access course and a biology degree with the aim of then going on to medicine afterward. Sadly, I got two rejections for med school (on my birthday no less), and I pissed away the rest of my final year, because...what was the point anymore??"–
"I then met a boy (now husband), and needed to get a job. Any job. Please just give me a job. Countless applications were ignored or rejected. I felt worse than useless. I finally landed a job at a call centre. Hated every minute of it. But bills got paid, a wedding and honeymoon have been paid for, and we bought our house..."
"But. In 2019 I knew I was turning thirty soon and knew this wasn't what I wanted, even if it was what I needed."
"I enrolled at a local college on an access course and last year I passed with distinction. I applied to a few university courses, and I had two successful interviews. I quit my sucky job on new year's after nearly 6 years of hating it. And in two weeks I start my course to become a nurse."
"Plans change, needs must. But I'm hoping its worked out..."
– Jynxiii
The Music Still Moves Me
"TLDR: I went from being a pro musician, signed to a label to working IT Security. I make great money but I'm kinda miserable."
"I go back and forth. Mostly regret. Covid has given me a strange new perspective on what is and isn't worth pursuing in life."
"I was a former professional musician in my late teens to mid twenties. Got the degree, started a band, worked our butta off and got signed to a label that later became notorious for ripping bands off. (Name rhymes with Prick Story Bread Chords)"
"I toured the country, played in front of thousands of people, recorded a couple of kick-@ss albums and played gigs several days a week for nearly a decade of my life."
"Problem was, that entire time: I didn't make a nickel. I was broke ALL the time. I didn't officially move out of my parent's house completely until I was 24. I had apartments and roommate situations, sure, but for many years I had to have my safety net of my Mom and Step Dad, which is embarrassing."
"I remember the day I decided to quit the band I was in. We drove 12+ hours to Atlanta for a music festival, only to be told on arrival that we were bumped from the bill. Not only that, but the promoter decided to compensate us with a measly $100 for our inconvenience. $100 split among five dudes. It wasn't worth the hard work anymore, living in a van and eating gas station food and military rations to survive. I quit the band not long after."
"Long story short, I transitioned into IT."
"I make six figures, own a house, have a wife and a top of the line Nissan Armada Platinum in my driveway and frankly, I couldn't be more miserable if I tried."
""Fx this!""
"What's the status on this situation?"
"Sorry you're on your honeymoon, but software just went down and we need your help"
"You aren't professional enough. You need to work on your communication."
"Good job getting all of your work done without ever needing help. You're super good at your job, but it isn't quite enough for us. You need to be perfect."
"You did 99% of your job perfectly but didn't send an email fast enough. You're useless."
"Sorry... got lost in the rant but my point stands. I'm half tempted to move to Vegas and work as a hired gun in a casino band. Those a-holes make money hand over fist playing covers from the 80s."
Deleted User
A few people dreamt about having a good job or a lovely family, and have achieved those goals.
There's No Such Thing As A Dream Job
"I wish I'd realised sooner that work is just work for me, there is no dream job. I just want something I'm good at with decent pay and no stress, think I've found it."
– SlightlyIncandescent
"Same. I think some adults really need to stop pressuring children to find their ultimate passion and translate it into their future career. That line of thinking led to a lot of anguish in college, and some adult depression. I still kinda feel like I’m adrift in the ocean. We need more talk about how work is sometimes just work, and that’s OKAY. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure."
– YeOldeOrc
"The biggest scam ever to exist is making you feel like your dream is a job"
– DiaryoftheOriginator
A Good Life Is The Dream
"When I was younger my dad told me to find a job I don’t hate that allows me to live comfortably financially and provides a good work/life balance, because no matter how much you love your job to start, it’s still work. So that’s what I did. The best advice I’ve ever recorded honestly. I put in the hours and fully focus on work when I’m there, then I leave it at the door."
– ashboify
"Right? The dream is to be able support myself, not completely hate my job, and be able to take vacation like, once a year."
– Sun_on_my_shoulders
"Yup. I stopped really giving a damn about two years ago- now it doesn't really matter what I end up doing, as long as I can support myself and my cat and I don't outright hate my job."
– Deleted User
Ultimately though, most people were able to achieve a different dream and are happy, even if they miss their old dreams a little bit.
Making Movies...Sort Of
"A little bit. I bounced around the lower levels of the film industry, earning nothing, earning $5 a day, earning $8.20 an hour. I really enjoyed most jobs, got some great stories. But after 10+ years of missed opportunities, missing out on jobs to those more connected, of not having enough to do (I could blame the early days of digital but I just didn't go hard enough), it was time. My 30's were approaching, I had less than 5 figures in the bank despite still living at home and having next to no expenses, my romantic life consisted of admiring the actresses from afar and being an @ss to anyone who got close."
"I switched to teaching and I mostly enjoy the work. I still tap into my skills occasionally, I make movies with my classes, last year made a whole bunch during remote teaching. I actually had the self-esteem (and cash) to start dating and am now engaged to a girl I don't deserve and have been trying to marry for months."
"I don't regret it, but I do miss it."
– goodie23
We can't always achieve our dreams, but sometimes there's something even better waiting for us!
People Break Down Which Things Their 12-Year-Old Selves Would Never Believe About Them Now
12-year-olds are a unique breed of human beings. They sit right in that middle area where childhood innocence, youthful fears, and reckless adolescent confidence all overlap into a completely irrational soup of decision-making.
But that period of life, like all of them, does pass. We keep growing, sweeping through adolescence, surging on through the twenties, and edging into middle age.
Once an adult, it can be difficult to imagine exactly what felt most important when you were 12 years old.
And yet, a few things stick. They lead us to compare and contrast the plans of that 12-year-old kid against what actually occurred in our lives.
The result is a reflection equal parts nostalgic, relieved, and hilarious.
Some Redditors offered up their answers to that question.
coronacel asked, "What would 12 year-old you never believe about adult you?"
Many people keyed in on the clearest signs that adulthood had arrived completely, leaving the zaniness of childhood largely in the dust.
Genes
"That sometimes, when I'm not paying attention, my mom's words slipped right out of my mouth!" -- BlindGirlSees
"Sometimes it happens even when I'm paying attention. I'm too young to turn into her." -- SkyScamall
"I just tell people that my dad is the world's greatest ventriloquist. He can be miles away and his voice still comes out of my mouth." -- OpeScuseMe74
Changing Priorities
"For almost 9 years, I've worked literally 1 minute away from a huge water park and I've never gone there." -- subject_deleted
"Yeah the chance of drowning is non-zero, pretty sure 12 year old me would avoid the place too." -- vizthex
"This one breaks my heart, imagine the look on your younger face." -- Splashfooz
All About Context
"I actually like exercise and physical activity, it's just PE class that sucked." -- mulitvac83
"School does a surprisingly good job of sucking every last bit of fun out of many subjects. PE focused on competitive team sports -- horrible for non-competitive or less coordinated people." -- ljr55555
Bed Time
"That I'm in bed usually by 8:45 every night. To sleep 😳" -- QueenBetsie
"a good sleep cycle rocks. Wish i could push myself to do that." -- GotYeeted
"This is me and then I sleep 8-9 hours and wake up with the sunrise and no alarm. 12 year old me, during the summer, stayed up until sunrise and slept until afternoon." -- pieohmi
Some Changed, Some Didn't
"That I actually like bees now and want to pursue beekeeping some day."
"I used to hate all bugs no matter what, but with more research, I realized that bees aren't so bad. Still hate other bugs tho..."
-- godoffloof
Lost in the Shuffle
"That all of the things I said I'd always remember and never do as an adult, I've largely forgotten and probably do as an adult ..." -- monsieurpoupon
"12 year old me would hate an office job. Ugh, 9-5 is not for me! I wanted to be doing stuff outside. Commutes are gross.
"31 year old me loves my office job and the structure a 9-5 (though I am 8-4, technically) brings my life. I MISS my office and my commute since working from home. They were clear divides of when I work, wind down (commuting with podcasts and audiobooks), and am free at home." -- deskbeetle
No, Special Agents Aren't the Only Ones
"I live in a whole a** other country and speak another language now, that definitely would've come as a surprise." -- Ryoukugan
"Same. And despite all the hours 12 year old me spent with a Japanese dictionary, it's not Japan" -- Cunninglinguist87
Others lamented that some things they dreamed about as kids never quite panned out as the years went by.
To be fair, many of those dreams were rather far-fetched. Though not all.
Still Waiting On the Steeds
"That I'm almost 40 and still don't have a stable full of horses." -- carmindy
"I just turned 40 and finally do have a horse of my own. It was well worth the wait, young me!" -- corporatewazzack
"I used to wake up every Christmas morning, hoping and wishing I'd see a horse on my parents' suburban front lawn. Believe it or not it didn't happen."
"I literally picked a career path in accounting to have the financial stability to own horses some day and am borderline ready to forgo having children to make it happen." -- fivecentssobct11
Not Automatic
"That I haven't gotten married. That something I just assumed would happen and yet here we are and I'm still single."
"I think he'd also be surprised at how rough my teenage years were."
-- snoobsnob
Never Came Together
"That, I too, don't know what the fu** I'm doing with my life." -- lilasketching
"Lol I think 12 year old me knew more about what I was doing in life than I do" -- platypossamous
"12 yo me had her whole life planned ahead of her and was ready to take on the entire world. She wouldn't be happy to hear that none of it panned out the way it was planned and I have no idea what I'm doing on any given day." -- SimonSpooner
Don't Hold Your Breath
"We never got that growth spurt we were promised" -- mumoftheweek
"Same. I'm in my 20's and people still tell me I'll get one one day." -- Monarch_of_God
"Mine seems to have been horizontal rather than vertical." -- AStartIsBorn
But some people took note of the things that haven't changed a bit, despite all the years that separate them from their 12-year-old selves.
They were happy to reflect on the innocence they've managed to retain.
Good for a Laugh
"That I still laugh at the exact same things." -- Billy-Mays-Ghost
"Still listen to the same music too" -- platypossamous
"I love a good fart joke. Probably more than I ever have." -- WaterWatcher
The Locks are BACK
"That my hair would still be this long!"
"I was on chemo from 11-14 and all I wanted was to get my hair back. I had luscious locks halfway down my back(I'm a boy) and I'm proud to say after 3 years of being off chemo my hair has restored to (almost) it's old length."
"I'm eternally greatful for my life, and plan to live it to the fullest!"
"I get that I'm not really an "adult" but I'm as adult as I've ever been"
-- angeryhornet
Finally Striking Out
"When I was not 12 but 13, I got this crazy idea. I dreamed of someday loading a bunch of camping gear onto my bicycle and disappearing for a year or so to ride around the country. Also when I was 13, I started to see signs of trouble in my family."
When I was 17, those family troubles would culminate I'm my parents' divorce. And when I was 20 years old, I would finally set off on that bike camping trip I'd dreamed of for so long."
"So 13 year old me would be super stoked to hear that the bike trip actually happened, and he wouldn't be entirely surprised about the divorce and its lingering effects to this day. But 12 year old me? Yeah, he has absolutely no idea what's coming."
Committed After All These Years
"I'd still sit down for an all night session of Dungeons and Dragons." -- TigerMkIV
"I never played DnD, but I really, really want to try. I've been listening to a bit of The Adventure Zone podcast and it sounds like a blast. Growing up, it was always the bottom of the barrel for nerdism. You could play or be into anything nerdy and get away with it because 'at least it's not DnD.' "
"I think my friends and I would really dig it if they just got past the stereotype. The last time I talked about it some time ago, the idea got shot down. Maybe I'll give it another go the next time I go home, or try arranging it with them online over roll20."
"The biggest problem is that I would likely have to be dungeon master for a group that knows nothing about it. I barely do." -- Voittaa
THE DREAM
"That I own an ice cream shop. 🤯" -- blackcatice
"As an ice cream shop owner, how much ice cream do you infact still consume? Do you get tired of it after a while? Can one even get tired of ice cream?" -- AnAncientMonk
Now that you've read this, take a second to reflect on your own answer to the 12-year-old question.
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People Describe The Absolute Best Experience They Ever Had With A Celebrity
Celebrities and artists of note are just people, too. That is the first rule to remember when coming face to face with a star. They are no better than the rest of us mere mortals. That realization should ease the anticipation or disappointment should they prove to be less than kind. However I've had encounters and heard stories were the celebrity couldn't have been nicer. Meryl Streep is a gem. Idina Menzel is a sweetheart and Lady Gaga is super tiny. So my divas were on point.
Redditor u/Qazival wanted to hear about the times they've encountered the famous by asking.... Which celebrity did you meet and found they were much kinder/ruder than you expected?"I Love Your Shirt!"
jack black GIFGiphyA few years ago Tenacious D played a concert in Kuala Lumpur. The building the concert was in was pretty small, and there's no way they made a lot of money from the show.
Despite that, after the show was over, Jack Black came back out on the stage and just chatted and joked around with people for like an hour. My buddy yelled out, "I love your shirt!" Jack Black yelled back, "I love your shirt! Trade me!" Then he took of his shirt and threw it to my buddy, who threw his shirt to Jack Black. Jack Black threw my friend's shirt back after pretending to try it on (my friend is much thinner than Black, haha), and then told him to keep his shirt from the concert.
It was a great experience!
Renee
I met Renee Zellweger and she was so much kinder than I ever could have imagined. This was when hurricane Harvey hit Texas. I was working at Austin Pets Alive and we took in thousands of animals from hard hit areas. It was insane. One day Renee Zellweger just showed up to volunteer. No warning, no fanfare. In fact, the only reason I noticed her is that she was wearing long sleeves and long pants and it was august in Texas. She spent a week volunteering.
She did laundry, cleaned out poop covered crates, and drove vans of dogs from Houston to Austin (not a pleasant job with the smell and the barking). I hope this doesn't get buried because she was truly amazing. So so nice and hardworking. The laundry room was next to my office so we became friendly over the week she was there. There are multiple news articles about this so it's legit. Forever a fan.
A Kinder Soul
I met Gordon Ramsay once at a book signing event, I was just walking around the area and ran into him on his free time. He was actually so nice and down to earth. Talked about food for a few minutes and how he's liking his trip so far. Super nice guy and nothing like you see on his cooking shows.
The Aussie
donald trump v GIFGiphyI met Liam Hemsworth at a supermarket in a small coastal town in Australia earlier this year. I almost didn't even notice it was him as he fit in seamlessly being the down to earth, laid back Aussie guy he is. He was super nice and genuine and even made an effort to thank the employees and the store's security on his way out.
When in Malta
Brad Pitt is a top-notch guy in real life
I met him in Malta while he was filming Troy. I was guiding a group of students as a group leader on a holiday trip and we saw Pitt just walking out of a cafe. He took time to take lots of pictures with all the kids and was really nice to everyone. Among my group were a bunch of teenage girls who almost fainted. Hilarious day all around.
Arnie....
Also i recall a comedian being impressed when he met Arnold Schwarzenegger. The man has a bodyguard who has to stop him from talking to a single fan for too long, otherwise he would have never stopped on time for the rest of the fans to get their turn to speak to him.
Imagine being so nice to your fans that you need someone to stop you...
The Fass
i dont know michael fassbender GIFGiphyHaven't had many rude experiences, but I can definitely attest that Michael Fassbender was a kind man who acted more excited to meet me than I was to meet him. Very satisfied by that experience!
Nicole
Kinder - Nicole Kidman. To be fair, this was back in the 80s before she hit the big time. She was, however, making movies then and had a profile. I did ask her what it was like being in films and she replied: 'Oh good, but, you know, Tom (Burlinson, her then boyfriend) gets all the good roles'. She struck me as a very genuine, decent person.
The Good Guys
David Beckham - not just a nice guy, but when his kids came to the secret event we were filming and some people spotted them, he came across and told the public who could see him that he'd do any photos or signings they liked, but to please leave his kids alone as they were not in the public eye and he wanted them to be afforded privacy. Good dad.
Jamie Lee Curtis - we chatted about cameras for ages before I realised who she was (after we finished chatting). She had a very nice Leica.
Skater Christina Lenko was an absolute diamond, playing with someone's kids on set between rehearsals, I fell a little bit in love watching her.
Eartha Kitt - despite being mid-80's, she was doing 2 shows a day and would still use the show interval for a fan meet and greet, then her rider was "a salmon salad sandwich". A true star with true humility.
I won't go on about the fools. They tend to be mid-famous on the way up. The bottom rung are just so happy to be entertaining, the top rung have nothing to prove.
Hey Robin
Robin Williams Hello GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphyRobin Williams was shooting a film in my city he stopped by the nearest senior home just to say hello and take pictures with the residents. No other reason than to brighten up their day class act of a man. My grandma was a resident.
Flight club
Chris Noth (Sex and the City's Mr Big) sat next to my brother on a flight years ago. My brother can't have been more than 10 at the time and used to get super nervous and travel sick on flights. Chris Noth was unbelievably kind to him. Told my mum he was happy to keep an eye on him, made sure he had plenty to drink and extra blankets, and even offered him his dessert because he woke up after food had been around. He was just such a lovely man and made my bro feel loads better. Genuinely awesome guy!
Spoon full of sugar
Julie Andrews was a sweetheart. My boss was starstruck because he loves Mary Poppins so he went out to her table to do his chef thing and he said she was so down to earth and complimented his food.
Harry Connick Jr is also really nice, and so are his kids. They were having breakfast and his kids asked if they could please go to the pool after, and said "please" and "thank you" to the waitress. They were really polite and you could tell that their parents don't let them get away with bratty shit just because they're rich.
Best of Welsh
Michael Sheen - he does a lot of charity work for our shared hometown. I had no idea just how well known he was as a kid. Years ago he spent a night bowling with our youth club, it's been a decade and I'm still blown away by how caring and genuine he was. He's always doing something wonderful for the people in South Wales, and every time I hear about what he's up to I still can't believe my luck that I met him.
He's the best of the Welsh.
Thanks Batman
I used to work in the music and film industry (as a grunt, when I was in my early 20s), so I've met a lot of celebrities.
George Clooney was the nicest one - SO down to earth, and would play practical jokes on the entire crew very regularly. He had these t-shirts made for every crew member to wear with the director's picture on the cover of People's "sexiest man alive", lol. (This was not an attractive director - it was kind of a joke between them I guess.) He had his car drive people home if buses weren't on schedule or whatever. He'd eat lunch with the crew rather than in his trailer.
I had the pleasure of working a show on a David Bowie tour he did in theatres. Every member of his band made a point to thank the crew members. IDK if Bowie himself did it but I wouldn't be surprised.
My dad had a coworker who was in Lake Como and decided to go look at George Clooney's house. While he was standing there, he heard a voice say "Don't just stand there and stare, come have a beer inside" and it was frickin' George Clooney. So he did, and said it was awesome. This was before George was married with kids, so I don't think he'd do it now. (Disclaimer: the coworker could have been lying, but he DID have a photo of him clinking beer bottles with George Clooney, so they had a drink SOMEWHERE.)
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We're all going to die. Life is finite. That is just a not so rosy fact about our time hear on Earth. Once we come to terms with that knowledge it frees us to makes grand plans to flourish in every second. Well, it should inspire us to make plans; instead of wasting a single moment. A bucket list is an important item to piece together. We should all sit down jot down some can't miss ideas. Know them, and then do them. You're only gonna get one go at this.
Redditor u/goodfeels4life wanted everyone to open their journals and read us some dreams they want to accomplish before time runs out by asking.... What is one thing you want to do before you die?Happiness Always....
Happy Joy GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphyI just want to be happy with my life. I'm almost there. Been crawling out of a dark place for the last 6 years. Finally got off medicine last year.
The Night Sky
I just want to go somewhere that it is dark enough to see the night sky like our ancestors did.
Start with this Dark Sky Finder. It helps you find the darkest places on earth to view stars.These are areas (often around observatories) where the law requires light pollution compliance of all nearby residences, businesses and cities. But also naturally occurring due to low population density.
There's a good number of other links on the site to find the nearest place you can go to see the sky like our ancestors did. I found a place in my home state (Texas) where we were able to see the Milky Way like I didn't think possible.
I hope it helps and I hope you get your wish.
Edit: thanks to u/DSchmitt for sharing the link to the Dark Sky Map. It's another fantastic resource for finding the darkest places on earth.
All the $$$
Not have to worry about money.
I'm tired of every decision I make revolving around money...
"Can I afford it?"
"What would I have to compromise?"
"What happens is I mess up and can't afford it again?"
"How long will it take to save?"
"Do I have to skip food for several days again?"
Hey this is what I came to say! I've started my journey... kind of. I just bought damn near all the gear to just get into backpacking and I'm going to go as much as possible throughout 2021 to practice and hone my packing list for the trail and then try for it in 2022!!! You got this! Go go go!!!
"12 Angry Men"
Jury duty. Idk why. Just intrigued by it.
Hah, I did that when I was 19 for a one week trial. It was about driving under the influence of prescription drugs. Interesting process and not something I'll forget!
It's funny - we actually DID do a "12 Angry Men" thing. We took a blind vote and 1 person thought the lady was not guilty (everyone else voted guilty immediately, without discussion). So we discussed for an hour or so and at the end the person who initially voted "not guilty" said that he would have voted "guilty", but wanted to force us to at least discuss the possibility of her being innocent.
get your floaties....
If giraffes can swim, it'd be pretty cool to swim with a giraffe.
Don't let your dreams be dreams: https://www.treehugger.com/think-giraffes-cant-swim-science-proves-they-can-4858080#:~:text=It's%20long%20been%20thought%20that,can%20indeed%20handle%20a%20dip.
The Wonders
I want to see the pyramids in Egypt among other destinations.
I went to go visit the Pyramids in Cairo, what an amazing 3 days. It's truly another world there. People were friendly and interested to meet you. Walking the back streets of Cairo at night, discovering tasty street food outlets and playing street football with the local kids. That's an all-time life highlight of mine right there - and I did it alone. Highly recommended!
The Homeland
old man grandpa GIF by The Little VampireGiphyGo to the town my grandfather was from. He died way before I was born so I only know about him through stories. I'm told I look a lot like him.
Love is in the Air
To fall in love with someone who loves me at the same time. I've never had that, I've never been in love with someone while they were in love with me and when I was I didn't have the courage to do anything about it. I've always missed my window, and I don't want to miss it again. I'm scared as hell but I'll best my heart and soul for it I have to.
From the Ground
cute stars GIF by CLGiphyI want to spend a night under the aurora borealis. It will happen some day. :)
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Creating a family of one's own (whether it be with a partner or by yourself) is a sacred and beautiful life decision. Unfortunately the road to success on this path can be bumpy. Sometimes mother nature doesn't play fair and hopeful parents have to find "special" ways to bring their new loved one home. Two of the ways to make a family is through the medical procedure of IVF and adoption. Both are tried and true methods, but for many, doing IVF and creating a "biological" bond often outweighs adoption, which can be a controversial decision.
Redditor u/ellie1398 wanted to hear from people who are trying to fulfill their dreams of creating a family from flesh and blood by asking.... [Serious] Why would people rather spend a fortune on in vitro fertilization than adopt a child?"Nothing Missed"
Trust me, you didn't miss out on much. Pregnancy is not usually fun. I threw up 3-5 daily for the first six months, even while on medication for morning sickness. And childbirth is pretty gross. Most women poop while in labor. I did. Not to mention all the other bodily fluids I'll probably have another bio kid, but I really do want to adopt after that. Or do foster care Blood doesn't make you a family, love and connection does. And adopting doesn't mean your kid is any less your kid.
On the same note, I get not being able to conceive must be really tough.
"Soul Based"
I have a cousin, infertile, who spent years trying to adopt and spent a huge amount of money going through the process multiple times, honestly sometimes adopting goes great and other times it turns out to be a soul-crushing effort in futility.
In America.
My father-in-law and mother-in-law adopted four children after they married, in part because he had had a vasectomy while married to his first wife. One of the children was taken back by the birth family after a single weekend. Two of the other three eventually involved going to court with extended members of the birth families, who found out about the adoptions years later and wanted to claim the children.
With IVF, you are certain you will have parental rights. It's not so certain with adoption, at least in America, because many courts will favor those with a genetic connection (and almost all will at least listen to them).
No Cheap Way.
For what it's worth adoption is often expensive too. And it can take a very long time - you don't get to just go down to Babies'R'Us and pick your favorite, you have to be more or less chosen by an expectant mother. And they can often fail to come fruition - mama gets cold feet, or something.
Uneasy.
People act like there are just a ton of adoptable babies. There is not. Most kids that are readily available have major health, mental, or emotional problems, especially older kids.
Their own genetics to live on.
Depending on where you choose to adopt from it can cost as much as 50k. Adopting an infant is often a stressful process since the mother retains rights to terminate the process at any time up until the final moment. That means you could spend all of the money and emotional effort to go through the process only to have it derailed last minute.
Another issue is that often times older children come from extremely hostile and unhealthy environments. They have emotional issues and behaviors that make raising them much harder.
The last issue, and the most superficial, is that people want their own children. Their own genetics to live on.
More than you can handle....
As an AP there are a lot of people who are not ready to adopt and kids suffer for it. I think they should do more to ensure parents are ready, especially if they are adopting transracially or after infertility. So many kids end up with parents who can't handle what adoption brings with it.
And when it comes to foster care, the standards should be even higher. The only thing worse than being removed from your parents due to abuse or neglect is facing that same situation in a house full of strangers.
After the 1st...
We went through IVF and had our first child. A few times through the process we were asked "why not just adopt?". We both agreed we would try to have OUR child first, but that didn't mean adopting was off the table. Even if you go through IVF, it has a slim chance of working.
Soured....
I can't speak personally, but I asked a friend of mine this exact question, as his wife is going the IVF route first. They both know people who have attempted to adopt, sometimes two or three times, and every time the expectant mother pulled out of the process. If one's friends all have a 0% success rate of adoptions, I imagine it can turn you real sour to the process.
The Process....
Apparently 50% of all fertilizations, both natural and IVF, just fail. I talked about this with a researcher once. They just can't explain why there is a coin flip of a chance of the fertilized egg from being viable. The process just failed to start. With no clear explanation. Women often don't even notice that this has happened. The process just fails to start.
Made me realize that successful pregnancy, even if common, is extremely difficult and lucky.
"More Invasive"
In our state, adoption is more invasive than IVF. Instead of privacy between you and your doctor, you have to submit to all sorts of home studies, interviews, agency visits, and questions being asked by all sorts of people to all parts of your life. And in the end, the option for IVF was covered by medical insurance, whereas all adoption fees are yours to incur.
"A note on the premise"
First, I want to acknowledge that I'm extremely pro-adoption. My comments aren't meant to suggest I'm not, but rather an attempt to answer the question.
A note on the premise, adoption isn't exactly cheap. It's not like a $20 donation to the animal shelter. I don't think anybody views adoption vs IVF as a strictly financial decision, but there are too many factors to make a blanket statement about the financial particulars for every situation.
Also, depending on your state, adoption can be a pretty brutal process, frankly.
Some states require you to spend time in the foster care world (which can be heart-wrenching) and it's not exactly uncommon for birth parents to try and regain custody- an emotional and financial nightmare. Nobody's suggesting it isn't, but adoption is hard on both the parents and children in a way that having a baby of your own is not.
For what it's worth, and I'm not saying I agree with it, people who want children may occasionally view adoption as a method of last resort.
On the flowchart of how people might choose to have children, I'm betting the order of priorities for those with the means to consider all of the options in play goes as follows:
conceive naturally - conceive with assistance - adoption
Again- not meant to be an encapsulating comparison between IVF and adoption, but rather an observation of what folks given that choice might consider.
"Disqualifications"
Mental illness definitely disqualifies you from a lot of adoptions, but possibly only the international ones. (And only certain countries.) So does your age, the amount of time you've been married, and whether or not either of you are divorced. Oh and a lot of them require that you be a member of a Christian church.
"Difficult Pickings"
People seem to think adoption is like in old times TV shows where you just go to an orphanage and pick a baby. My sister in law adopted a baby and the birth mother changed her mind. It was heart wrenching. My parents were foster parents to a little boy and spent two years taking him to visits with his birth parents before they signed over their parental rights and my parents could adopt him.
It was a roller coaster two years because you LOVE this kid and at any moment the courts could decide his parents are no longer unfit parents and you have to give him back forever. That kind of emotional roller coaster is not something everyone can handle.
"Starting Clean"
I've wanted to adopt kids basically since I was a kid myself, but I know it's not easy emotionally, financially, or mentally for a lot of cases.
I think a lot of people want to start off their families 'clean' so to speak, meaning no government interference (since IVF just requires medical interviews, checkups, etc) and potential issues with biological parents. Beyond that, there may be other health issues that can rise up from the time in utero or the first months/years (depending on what age the child is ofc) that will affect a child's development/personality/health and that you have no control over whatsoever.
Then even beyond that, there's the added step of figuring out how to explain to your child that you aren't genetically related and dealing with any identity questions they may have arise from that discussion.
I want to adopt, but I can definitely see why people are very hesitant to do so and turn to other means to build their families.
"Trauma"
I initially wanted to adopt, then I looked into it more. I'm in the UK, and generally babies are not given up at birth, but children are removed from the home after going through hell. They deserve love and support, but they need someone who can handle the inevitable damage that has occurred. As much as I wanted to adopt, I had to admit, with my mental health issues, I cannot be strong enough to help a child through such trauma.
"Hey Gene"
Isn't IVF also still using your egg and or sperm, so theres still the whole biological component some people still want their genes passed down.
I think it's the best answer to OP's question by a mile. But it's one of those things that people don't necessarily feel proud about, not really a feel good thing to say "I would prefer to raise my actual biological offspring." Even though most people probably feel that way to some degree. And on the other hand, as you say, if you feel committed to doing the obviously 'righteous' path you would be more inclined to advertise that.
"nature"
I'm surprised biology isn't a bigger part of the conversation.
That biological link is the entire "nature" side of rearing a child. Adoption only allows you to pass on your knowledge, and has zero genetic influence on the next generation. You'd miss out on seeing their hereditary traits develop and furthering your bloodline.
This thread smacks of charitable pretentiousness that ready parents should donate their attention to children already in need instead of doing something as selfish as, god forbid, having a kid of their own.
"bad blood"
I've always considered adoption to be the first choice, even before having your own, my reasoning isn't because I was in foster care, because I've never been in it, my reasoning is, there's too many people in the world and bringing more into an already doomed world is selfish, you get to love that kid for a few years and that kid has to suffer through life for the rest of its, and also, my family is damn awful, I don't want my bloodline to continue, not to mention the hereditary heart disease, sciatica, blindness, poor posture because of our height, constant aching bones and the few other things were prone too.
"Restrictions"
There are actually very strict rules about adoption (although i only know about England) and one of the factors is age, so if you've spent years trying for a baby and doing IVF then often you simply can't adopt because you won't meet the requirements. this is what happened to my brother and his wife, they were so upset by it, their last option and it wasn't even available for them.
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