That might be why this reddit thread has generated some buzz.
People who work in graveyards/morgues/embalming bodies. What's the weirdest thing you've seen...?
It's not a world most of us get a peek into, so these responses are equal parts fascinating and kind of terrifying. We've got worms, exploding caskets, we've got one person who was the weird thing going on at the cemetery.
Yeah... things get interesting.
The Leftovers
Funerals and tombstones are the family business and my dad has lot of stories. One that really stood out was the time they were dropping a vault (cement box they the casket goes inside) into a gravesite before a funeral and noticed what looked like "large pieces of grilled meat" at the bottom of the hole.
On asking the cemetery directory what was up (the hole is supposed to be empty) , he was told to ignore it. He did not ignore it and instead brought it up with some others, eventually notifying the authorities. Turned out they had a crematorium on site and were only partially burning the bodies as a means of saving money. The leftovers were being dropped in the graves of others being buried. Few people went to jail for that apparently.
Romeo, Romeo
GiphyMy roommate worked in a graveyard in high school. Said he saw an old man hunched over in a chair at 6am from across the graveyard. Didn't think anything of it and let the man mourn in peace. Around lunch time he was still sitting there. He went up to him and saw that he was hunched over because he had shot himself from under the chin up. He said his blood was all over the grave of his wife who recently had died. Very sad Romeo and Juliet ending.
Stone-Hearted
A nearly 50 % calcified heart.
The man was in his mid 30's and unexpectedly passed. I'm only an assistant, but our chief has been in the field for 34 years and has never seen such an extensive calcification on someone so young, let alone someone that could live long enough for it to get that bad. He honestly had no idea how such a thing could even happen.
He was more impressed by the patients life span than the actual heart.
Never Get Used To It
I'm an EMT and our ambulance station is attached to the county morgue. Sometimes I'll assist the coroner or pathologist. I'll never get used to seeing someone I once saw alive laying in the anatomical position with their guts out.
Last time it was a girl who added me on Facebook that I was thinking of dating. I wasn't prepared to see her in there like that.
Not A Dignified Way
I worked in a jail and the county morgue was attached to it. I'd sometimes go help them move corpses around. One night we were transferring a body into a hearse to be taken to the funeral home. All of our gurneys are from like the 1950-1960's. They didn't really make them to handle a morbidly obese person back then. The gurney broke and dumped a very, VERY fat corpse on top of the new guy I was trying to show how to do the job. Knocked him over and pinned him underneath, and it took 3 of us to roll the corpse off of him.
He was in hysterics and quit, and we all got yelled at for it even though it was solely due to the fact that we have outdated and worn out equipment. But yeah, the bodies being brought in are bigger and bigger as years go on, and the equipment for handling corpses usually was only designed for bodies half that size at max. We tried to be as respectful as possible while handling the dead, but there's just not a dignified way to move a 500 pound dead person.
A Thorough Checking
My sister works for the county coroner. They sent off the body of a middle aged father who seemed to have passed away from a heart attack. She received a call asking if all of the man's orifices were thoroughly checked. Evidently he had a large sex toy in his colon.
One Way Trip
GiphyNot a worker, but I have severe epilepsy. I had a massive seizure while visiting my family's plot once and hit my head hard. My mom had to call an ambulance. At first, they didn't believe her when she gave the address, but finally one was sent. When it rolled it, the caretaker came out and hovered around while I was stabilized and loaded, then driven away.
Afterwards, while my mom was getting ready to follow it to the hospital, he said "Well, that's the first time they've ever taken any bodies OUT of here. It's normally a one way trip." Then he offered my mom a free plot and burial service if I didn't make it.
The Totaled Van
I worked as a gravedigger for a family owned Cemetery/Mortuary for a few years...20 years ago. Craziest thing that ever happened... I got a call from my boss at 11 pm one night. No alarms yet, we were on call on the weekends, so a late night call from the boss wasn't that weird. This is where normal ended. He asked me to come down to the cemetery, ASAP and open a grave that we scheduled to be opened first thing the next morning, but he needed it ...at midnight!?!?
He then tells me what's been happening. Apparently we dis-interred 2 caskets from a cemetery in the Los Angeles area. This was in the early 2000's and the bodies were originally buried 1979. I don't care what anyone says, stainless steel, waterproof caskets are a bad idea. The caskets were intact enough to be removed but when they were being put into the transportation van... they bumped together, and the corners of the caskets broke... releasing the contents. The fluid contents. All over the inside of the van. The driver was not happy. But, got on I-5 to Sacramento anyway for the 6 hour drive. The driver said he gagged the entire trip. He said the smell was so bad he drove with his head out the window to avoid the smell. He called the boss and told the boss that the graves need to be open and ready the second he arrived so that we could get these caskets in the ground and covered as soon as possible. Which we did.
The next day, before the mortuary opened we had locals calling in complaining about the smell. The Fire department came by, the police eventually called to inquire about the complains and the smell. It was coming, not from the grave, but from the van used to transport the caskets. We stripped out the carpet and burned it, the plastic came next and we bathed that in bleach, then drenched the inside of that van with every cleaning chemical that we had. Nothing helped. So, the boss called the insurance company.
The adjuster showed up, and the boss met him outside at his car, across the parking lot from the van. The adjuster immediately asked about the horrible smell. The Boss told him that it was coming from the van, and that why he was here. The adjuster looked at him for about 3 seconds and said, "it's totaled, I'll call a tow truck," then got back into his car and drove away.
Ascaris
A guy with an ascaris infestation (intestinal worms). As the body cools down they start exiting through the nose, mouth and all the orifices, which makes for a really gross spectacle. I had to finish pulling them out (they are long, wriggly and disgusting, and wouldn't stop coming) so I could commence my autopsy. I found more inside, too. Blegh.
Are You Real?
My neighbor has a funny story. She was visiting the hospital and got in the elevator. Now this hospital isn't built entirely on the same elevation. The main entrance is on top of a hill. This means that to get to the main floor, you have to press the 1st floor button. Underneath that button is another floor labeled M. She thought it was labeled M, for main floor. It was actually labeled M, because that floor was the morgue. So she gets off at the morgue level to try and figure out where she is. The mortician comes around the corner and nearly has a heart attack when he sees her. After asking her if she's real, he shows her that the first floor is the main floor and helps her get to the main entrance.
Worth It
My father worked cleaning a hospital morgue for a while. His co-worker was supposed to transport an amputated limb from the morgue to the furnace out back, which was at the top of a steep hill that had been covered with snow and a thick layer of ice from freezing rain and sleet the day before.
Dad was at the bottom of the hill and, thinking it would be funny, the dude waved the amputated leg at my dad. Then he dropped it, watching in horror as it skidded all the way down the icy hill into a small crowd of visitors-- which included some of the hospital's investors-- who screamed bloody murder and took off in random directions. He was fired, but later considered the story in itself to be worth losing his job.
Melted
My uncle used to be an EMT in a really small town in PA, so they pretty much deal the with everything. Neighbors hadn't seen this old lady in quite some time so called 911 and my uncle and his crew went to see what was up. Lady had died doing something to the furnace (old school in your living room type one) and when she died she landed on it and pretty much "melted" onto it. They had to scrape her off. I can only imagine what seeing that does to people...
A String
GiphyWe were prepping the body and removed the sheet to find a cotton string tied around his penis. Another funeral home had embalmed him so I can only assume they put it there. But why?
- exsxfxy
"Dancing" On His Grave
Worked in cemetery as a teen in the mid 60's. The old widow probably in her late 50s would bring her new boyfriend and have sex on her deceased husbands grave stone. We had to chase them off several times.
- Simpdogg
Partials
A friend of mine is in the business that his family has owned for a while.
A guy called asking a LOT of technical questions about the crematorium. How hot does it get, how long do you do it etc.
After answering questions he asks what is going on.
The callers dad was in his late 80s and had a terminal illness. They want to do a home cremation.
They explain that you can't really do that that there are laws and procedures with the police and hospital etc. The caller dismissed all of that legal mumbo jumbo and thanked him for the info.
A couple of months go by and the guy calls back.
How much do you charge for a "partial" cremation? A partial? What is going on there.
I guess the dad died and they got a bunch of railroad ties and tried to burn the dad up in the backyard. The partial was the leftovers from the fire.
For those that don't know you have to have temperatures way higher than you ever could reproduce in your backyard to completely burn up a body
After they said they didn't do partials the guy hung up.
- Chum731
The Whistleblower
I used to process bodies that were donated to science. This company would offer a free cremation for people if they could take parts they could use. They promised a minimum percentage of ashes returned (I think 40%) thru would take a lot of knees, shoulders, elbows and doctors could practice using Magellan surgeries. Had one woman come in. She weighed 65 lbs. And I had no problem lifting her myself.
Cancer ate her up. These people were mostly poor people that had been stuck on some institution. Her hip had dislocated and refused to her pelvis. She had horrible rotting bed sores. I had just started the job and was about four weeks into training. I was worried the job would be too much and this woman was what I was afraid for. It took me back so much that I asked my boss if this was something we should report to authorities. A week later they tell me they don't think I'm suited for this line of work and show me the door.
Human Soup
My father in law served in the RAF in Germany in the early 80s. He was a driver but was somehow given the job of body Collector for the local morgue along with a few others.
He's told us loads of stories, but one that sticks out the most was when they were called to a railway line.
They were told to bring shovels. That's when they knew it was bad. He said all they could do was shovel as much as what was left of the man, onto a gurney.
He then told us how he'll never forget the sound of the remains sliding off the gurney into the body bag.
"It was basically human soup"
u/ferfeb asked:
Here were some of those answers.
Trigger warnings: violence, blood, moments of terror, death.
Hostage Situation
I was an English teacher in Honduras. About 8 months in myself and 4 other volunteers decided to go to a "bar" a few towns over(the closest one) to celebrate one of their birthdays. A few hours in, a group of 4 men came in with masks and HUGE guns and told everyone to drop to the floor. Being half in the bag (or possibly more), I decided to hide in the men's washroom as I was right beside it.
I got yanked out by one of the men and pushed up against the wall. He then held the gun to my head and told me to give him everything I had. He then told us 4 (we were put together on the wall as we were obviously the ones that were not from around there), and said if we reported them, they knew where we worked (and they did), and would kill us. We reported the incident (although nothing came from it), and I was back home in Canada 3 days later.
Thank Goodness Indeed
GiphySlipped on some rocks and was about to fall 20-30 feet into the ocean and more rocks. When you see someone in the movies falling and they grab on to basically nothing. That can't happen you think. Wrong, thank goodness.
Away From The Cliffside
I went hiking with a friend and her family in 6th grade during a camping trip they invited me on. We were coming back down and I lost my footing and feel. I started sliding towards a cliff and a bush caught me. If not for that bush I would have gone off a 200ft (at least/best guess) drop into a lake.
Even now at 21 hiking makes nervous.
Saved From The Tupperware
Shoeing horses. Was tucked under the hind end of one when something spooked him. I got dragged down between his hind legs. He was in cross ties so he could only really move side to side so neither of us could get away. Luckily my boss was nearby and was able to untie him and get him off me.
I was really lucky and got off mostly okay. Had a few broken ribs, a punctured and collapsed lung, broke my nose, and got a bunch of soft tissue injuries in my right arm.
But it got me out of a Tupperware party I didn't want to go to so all in all 10/10 would get trampled again
Just Driftin'
My doctor prescribed me medications that had an interaction which suppressed my central nervous system. Basically it felt like I was taking heavy tranquilizers constantly.
At the time I was commuting on a mountain road to go to night school and the meds made me so tired I almost fell asleep driving multiple times. After I almost got in what would have been a huge accident I withdrew from school for the semester.
Another doctor figured it out, took me off my meds, and I felt like a new person within days.
Just The Wrong Angle
Slipped in a club and fell onto a half pint glass. The glass shattered and sliced open my wrist, nicking the artery and the tendon and opening my palm to the bone.
Plus side; just before I went I to shock I got to see my tendon move like the terminator! Minus side; I accidentally covered a bunch of people in my blood. Oh, and the surgeries... and the scar on my wrist
An Old Injury
Hit by a car doing 70mph back in 1989 - shattered my femur, half of it turned to dust, the other half ripped its way out my outer thigh as if to say "welp, gotta go kiddo, my work here is done...".
Fractured skull with brain swelling, smashed knee, smashed hip, internal bleeding - according to most witnesses, I looked like I'd stepped on a landmine.
I spent 6 months in hospital, was fitted with a custom titanium reinforced composite femur, had to relearn how to walk. The scar went keloid and its about 8 inches long, going from my hip to my knee.
In 1993 I had to have the bone swapped out for an adult one so as not to screw up my growth. I walk fine but I run with a limp.
A Warning To All
I made the mistake of driving drunk. Not, "a little tipsy" and not, "I'm pretty sure I'm fine".... Drunk with a capital D.
I am a complete jerk for driving in that state. I didn't even remember getting home. Fortunately nobody got hurt, but waking up in bed the next morning with no recollection of how I got there...
I could have killed someone and myself. Please, anyone reading this: There is always someone willing to come pick you up and drive you home. Don't let pride get in the way of that. It is always the safer option.
Just Typical Of Newark
I was almost run over by a speeding bus in my teens. I lived in Newark, NJ at the time, and I was listening to Slipknot on my Zune (lol). I was going to cross the street, when a song came on that I didn't wanna listen to, so I stopped for a second to hit next, and the exact second I did, a bus flew past me, just inches away from my face. I literally felt the wind almost knock me back. The driver had ignored a red light and just kept on going, and I would've been mush, if I hadn't stopped to select a different song. Slipknot's Iowa album literally saved my life, in a way.
We Have Ignition
GiphyI was an aircraft hydraulics specialist and while looking for a leak in a 3,000 psi pressure line, a pinhole leak started right next to my head and shaved off a bit of hair just above my ear. Had I been just an inch or two to the left I would of had a stream of high pressure fluid cut right into my skull.