"What’s the best example of a victimless crime?"
I'm probably guilty of everything we're about to talk about.
GO!
Yelling The Goldbergs GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy"Eh... I jaywalk and don’t care. As long as no cars are coming I just go."
IHateMath14
Get a Handbook
"Piracy of Adobe Photoshop and other Adobe products."
"I've read that Adobe just allows it to happen, because it means that the young generation of designers and creatives get trained on the software as kids/students, and then when they're at work in the real world the companies that actually have to pay for whatever they use have to buy it, because Adobe products are what people are familiar with."
Just Us
"Prostitution."
"If two adults want to have sex it's 100% fine. But if two adults want to have sex for money it's 100% illegal. It's just a moral thing not a logical thing. Think of all the tax money they could get from it."
Prestigious_Water336
When in Michigan
"Up until a few years ago it was illegal in Michigan to leave your car idling and unoccupied, even on private property. The law was in place to discourage auto theft. But practically everyone does it on winter mornings to warm up their cars. I'd never heard of it being enforced until a few years back when a guy got ticketed for having his car running in his own driveway. Most people were surprised to find out that there was even a law about it. It was repealed soon after."
President_Calhoun
Nonsense
Hungry Full House GIFGiphy"Apparently saving food that was going to be thrown away. Feeding the homeless."
A_Bowler_Hat
How is it a crime to feed needy people? Insane.
Potentials
Tell Me More Jeff Goldblum GIF by National Geographic ChannelGiphy"Pretty much breaking any laws that are meant to prevent injury or harm. i.e. not wearing a seatbelt. speeding, jaywalking, carrying a firearm in public etc. The are only potential victims, but no actual victims yet."
Sufficient_Focus
On Her Own...
"When the school called me because my kid was smart enough to buy a 20 dollar bag of candy, and start nickel and diming it for a profit to other students.
"The whole economic system is based on this very principle. My 7th grader figured out how to make a buck. On her own."
"I insisted on entering the science fair using this scenario as a social experiment. She's thinking about it."
Junior_Interview5711
Zoned Out
"A lot of zoning violations that are more about aesthetics such as having unregistered cars in your yard, not painting your house a certain color, too many or not enough plants, other stupid things that aren't hurting anything other than your nosy neighbor's feelings."
"I agree with zoning for health and safety. But just for showiness, it's not hurting anything. If they don't like my house and yard don't look. Mind your own business."
llcucf80
Simple Stuff
Bored Paul Rudd GIFGiphyMere possession of pretty much anything. If something is considered dangerous/bad, the crime lies in how it’s used, not simply possessing it."
lawontheside
Well, these really were some interesting cases.
Do you have any other victimless crimes you'd like to pose? Let us know in the comments.
I feel like if there is nothing after life, it just invalidates life. But maybe I'm just dramatic. I hope there is peace. Thoughts?
black and white two funerals GIFTogether...
"When we die, the whole world as seen by us, dies together with us."
"Yes it does. As does the entire universe. Only when we are alive can we experience the passage of time. The instant we die the entire universe will experience heat death and cease to be. It my take a million eons but since we can no longer experience time it will be relatively instantaneous."
- OkEbb749
Thanks Alan
"It's one of the great wonders of life: What will it be like to go to sleep and never wake up? And if you think long enough about that, something will happen to you. You will find out, among other things, that it will pose the next question to you: What was it like to wake up after never having gone to sleep? That was when you were born. You see, you can't have an experience of nothing. Nature abhors a vacuum. ~Alan Watts"
So Romantic...
"When I was much younger, I had a dream where I died. Not a typical dream, not a romanticized dream. It was a dream where I was an archer in a medieval battle. About 5 minutes into the battle, chaos was all around me, and I watched an opposing archer aim and loose an arrow straight into my left eye."
"I remember the sensation of impact, ringing in my ears, and falling to the ground. I remember the warmth of the blood on my face. The feeling of life leaving my body, and the sense of worry evaporating into warmth and peace as the world left behind me."
"I remember waking up shortly after thinking that the feeling and reality of that experience was so vivid and so detailed that it must have been an experience from a previous incarnation hundreds of years ago. From that moment on, I've never feared the actual process of death. I feel like I've experienced it many times before."
Erase
Computer Reaction GIFGiphy"I think one of your best friends delete's your browsing history."
"Take the hard drive out of my computer at home… Put it in the bath… And make sure it's completely wiped. -Tensai Slime"
If you love me... rule number one... HIDE THE EVIDENCE!!! Let that be heard far and wide. And dreams, always so intertwined aren't they?
Before & After
Happy Baby GIFGiphy"Exactly the same as before you were born."
- whumoon
"I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it. -Mark Twain"
Obscure Opinions People Are Fully Committing To | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
We all have a set of beliefs about even the smallest of topics. Like sandwiches should have structural integrity. That's something we can all agree on, right...Moving On...
"We clean the bed and assign it to another patient."
"The REAL reason why nurses are so dark. 90 year old man in hospice got hit by a car on his way to get fitted for his funeral tuxedo, and didn't have a DNR. Kept him alive for four hours, and now it's time to document everything that was done to save his life because there will inevitably be a lawsuit from a family member who has had four years to say goodbye but somehow didn't get to."
Again...
"Play again?
Yes
[No]
I don't know what they mean or how to utilize them. I'm a Buddhist (but a gamer first and foremost) so it's cool you guys made those connections This totally makes up for r/movies continuously banning me."
Oblivion...
"I've answered this one before but here it is again. Either two things happen after you die: you either go somewhere or it's oblivion. If it is oblivion, then we're just going back to the same place before we were born and there's nothing wrong with that. We were there for billions or trillions of years, possibly infinity."
"You lose that concept of time since your brain doesn't work anymore so you don't even know it's over. It's not nothing because nothing would be something and that means that you are aware, which you can not be if you're dead. If we do go somewhere, then that's something no one understands because no one has ever come back to tell us."
"Those stories of people coming back after they "died" and "saw stuff" weren't really dead. Their hearts stopped but their brains were still working. If the Universe continues to recycle itself infinitely, then there's a chance we will be reborn or continuously reborn but have no memory of our previous selves."
- jamoh20
On Holiday
"When I was a kid I drowned while on holiday with my family, a giant fat man jumped in the pool on top of me and no one noticed till I was on the bottom of the pool. I remember the feeling of my lungs being on fire, then shivering then as everything was going dark a strange sense of peace and I was ok with it, No panic or terror then it went black."
"I was resuscitated at the side of the pool a few minutes later. I remember nothing from the black to being "alive" again. I was around 7 when it happened and since then I've been strangely at peace with the fact that one day I will die and slip into the dark void of nothingness. Hope that helps."
Popcorn?
500 days of summer cinema GIFGiphy"You wake up in a chair in a cinema and learn that the other are past lives of you and you're about to watch your next life very soon on the big screen."
The truth is none of us know the truth. We live everyday with the afterlife being a gamble. And that seems like it's going to have to be enough.
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I remember the first funeral I went to where people didn't hold back. And I was shook. I mean I get it, you hated that person, by why bother sharing the craziness now? You should've just punched them in the face when you had a chance.
Lies!
i see you no GIF by Shalita GrantGiphy"Everyone stood up and spoke about how much they missed him and what a great man, friend, and leader he had been. His daughter stood up to speak last and said: "I don't know who you people are talking about because my father was nothing like that to me my whole life."
Why bother?
"There was no funeral for him. His sisters wanted one in the "it's the right thing to do" sort of way, but the rest of the family (his mother included) were in camp "why bother?"
"A lot was said, as this was the man who had abused my grandparents for drug money for years, stole from family members (including the birthday money of small children - I taught the younger cousins how to hide their holiday cash from him), faked cancer on multiple occasions to gain sympathy (and more money), and broke down my grandma's front door when she didn't want to deal with him while my grandpa was dying in their house."
"There were two that stand out:"
"Oh, he actually did die of cancer? About time."
"And the real ice cold one, from his mother:"
"It's for the best."
Good Riddance
"When my grandmothers brother-in-law passed away my grandmother asked me to be a pall bearer since they were having a hard time finding anyone that would agree to do it. During the funeral nobody other than family showed up and when the minister asked if anyone wanted to say anything about the deceased there were several people that shouted out things like 'good riddance.' He had been a man that was widely hated by the community as well as his family. He spent his entire life swindling anyone, including members of his own family, out of everything that he could."
John Doe
"I have an 1910 local newspaper obituary for my grandfathers brother (my great uncle), who died when my grandfather was 12. It reads.... "JOHN DOE died walking on Goose Gap Road with friends Saturday night when he fell on a knife. He was well-known as a wicked and godless boy, who brought shame to his family, but his parents are good, faithful church-going people and our sympathies are with them."
Oh My!
Fanning Heat Wave GIF by Harlem GlobetrottersGiphy"My very Christian grandmother who is in the beginning stages of dementia talked about how great my grandfather was in bed at his funeral. It was actually kind of sweet, but the timing wasn't great and I don't know how much her children wanted to hear about it right then."
Oh my... now that is a ton of mess. It makes you think, what are my so called "loved ones" thinking about me right now? I always have some shade to throw, but I like to see live reactions of the landings.
Not You
Oh God Reaction GIFGiphy"After Grandma's service we were discussing where to go for lunch when Gramps tells cousin (10) You stay here with the stiff, we'll pick you up later."
- sisnomor
What the hell Brian?!?
"My friend's father passed away a few years ago and a buddy of ours shows up out of the blue. We haven't seen this guy in a long time. We would send him texts, call him, send Facebook messages but he never responds. So anyway he shows up at the funeral and our friend says, "What the hell Brian?!? My father has to die for you to hang out!?!?"
911 Dispatchers Share The Most Ridiculous Calls They've Ever Received | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
The Mistress
"My biological father's long-time mistress spent her time during the eulogy talking about:
- All the profound emotions she felt when they were making love, and how she knew from that he was the one (Her children, from a man she divorced to be with my father, were sitting right in front of her.)
- While on his deathbed, he woke up one of his last times and used his time to scold her "bitterly" for reading a magazine while he lay dying. She considered it a lighthearted and endearing moment.
- While recounting his legacy she got almost every single detail of his professional life wrong, and pointed me out as hopefully walking in my fathers steps (knowing I hated him)."
"The only other person to talk was the priest. My father was narcissistic, a psychopath, and a bad person in ways that aren't mentioned in pleasant conversation. All he cared about in life was power and glory at any and everyone else's expense, and he was buried at the funniest and most undignified funeral I have ever seen. It was almost therapeutic, 10/10."
"A great friend of mine died a couple years ago. He was known for his amazing sense of humor and the sound of his laugh. When his wife asked me to speak at his funeral, I started thinking about how--if he were alive and we were going to someone else's funeral, he'd figure out how to have fun."
"So I played a game and opened it up to his friends, challenging them to give me a word I had to work into the eulogy. In the end I came up with the word myself; as soon as I thought of it, I knew he would have used it. The word was "ejaculation." I won the challenge."
God Who?
jesus GIFGiphy"During his sermon at the funeral, the preacher said that he "thought it odd that the deceased insisted on having a church funeral, given that records and personal testimony indicated that he had never stepped foot in church during his lifetime."
Burn
"Complaining about the length of the service he said, "f**k me, 2 hrs to bury a set of teeth because that's all that was left after the fire. I was embarrassed but so did I. He was an ex SAS trooper so tended towards plain speaking. Ironically the deceased was not a friend of mine (he didn't know) so I'd been very careful not to say anything negative."
"Bill was a very flawed man..."
"At my Father's wake 20 years ago the man married to my Godmother gave a speech. He started with "Bill was a very flawed man..." and went on to badmouth my Dad for 5 minutes. This from the smarmy alcoholic a**hat that hit on me at a bar 2 years later and was universally regarded as a fool."
"We are ALL flawed, but my Dad was one of the greatest men and best Fathers I have ever met (aside from my husband). The funeral was standing room only and full of people whose lives were touched by my Dad's kindness and ability to make people laugh. I wanted to punch my Godmother's husband in his face that day."
Bad Timeline
Sorry Not Sorry School GIFGiphy"At my Grandma's funeral, I admitted to a cousin that I often forgot she was still alive. I had started referring to her in the past tense years before."
He was Ours!
"Well, being dead doesn't make him any less of an a**hole." It was said by me, about a good friend, and it was met with a lot of laughter because we all knew it was true. He was our a**hole if you know what I mean."
"I feel thats what my friends are going to say about me , and I'm proud to be their a**hole. After all , one of them said , you are friends with us because we are the only ones to put up with your bullcrap and dark humour :P"
- Vitaly17
Hey Michael
"Ooh, the boss gave a very Michael Scott-like eulogy. First, he asked for moment of silence, then talked through it. But the cringiest moment was saying how much the deceased cared for his ex-wife and daughter. "I see how much child support comes out of every one of his paychecks, and he never complained about that."
You do this for a living?
priest GIFGiphy"Went to a funeral where the catholic priest got the deceased name wrong, the dead guy's SIL's name wrong, and then told everyone refreshments were available at the back of the church, they weren't."
Heaven's Mess
"We can always hope our understanding of heaven is wrong", priest, speaking about a deceased friend who was an atheist but his parents insisted on a church funeral. He said it repeatedly and in different ways, implying that it was a shame he was going to burn in hell."
Gimme my Money!!
"He still owed me $14."
"I said that about my buddy that passed away. He owed me like $5 and I was joking to my friend that it's just like him to die on me so he didn't have to pay it back. Fast forward a couple days and I find random piles of change all adding to about $5. It's funny because that's exactly how he woulda paid me back."
It's Obvious!
"Not me, but my father went to the funeral of a man he knew while growing up. The preacher said he could tell by looking down on the deceased in the casket that he had went to hell. Then proceeded to preach a sermon about how it was necessary to live a morally upright life so that the people present didn't go to hell like the deceased man had."
Greedy
Halloween GIF by Pop-TartsGiphy"The officiant at my boyfriend's grandmother's funeral just a few months ago said that the deceased was good at getting free desserts from wait staff, which the family interpreted as him saying she was greedy and conniving."
Funerals really are a hotbed of drama and hilarity. That is when everyone has nothing craps left to give. And it shows us, all people are not good and need to go. Just truth!
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I can feel the "others" pretty consistently. For some reason they seem to visit at night because of course they would. I can mostly detect any and all noises. And I know its not the house. Who can agree?
The Slam
Scared Boy Meets World GIFGiphy"My dad's gun safe slammed shut and i was the only one home and laying on my bed."
Merry Spooky Christmas!
"We were visiting my in-laws around Christmas and we were chatting in their den, having some drinks and catching up. They had a Christmas tree in the corner of the den. Nobody was sitting near it. My husband and father in law we sitting in lounge chairs and I was sitting with my mother in-law on the couch on the opposite side of the tree. The two dogs were napping between us. We were all at least 6 feet away from the tree."
"All of a sudden their Christmas tress begins to violently shake. Like someone grabbed the trunk and was shaking dust off of it. A few ornaments fell to the ground and then it stopped. It shook for a good 10 seconds. The thing is, we were the only 4 in the house, the dogs were sleeping on the couch with us, the tree had been up for at least a week so no woodland creatures hiding in it and nothing else in the house shook. No glass clinking, no other rumbling sounds, just the tree."
"We checked the news to see if there was an earthquake, we checked online (pre smartphones) and the newspapers and no reports of an earthquake. We also live in an area where earthquakes are rare. So I have no clue what shook the damn tree. We all saw it, the dogs slept through it. They did not give AF."
Resembling Jesus
"High school girlfriend says she saw an old man in her house in the study. I laughed it off because her house was no older than 20 years old and how could it be haunted. I jokingly said she saw a wooden carving her parents had that resembled Jesus because she described the man of having a big white beard. A few weeks later I was walking from the stairs and into the kitchen were she was sitting, out of the corner of my eye I see an older man sitting at the head of the table in the dining room."
"I tell her but have to rule out my claim as the seed of belief may have been planted in my head. Months later her friend from Brazil was visiting. My girlfriend and I are fooling around upstairs and her friend burst through the door crying. In Portuguese my girlfriend asks what's wrong and her friend says she was listen to music with headphones walking around on the main floor when she ran into an old man with a white beard in the study."
"There was absolutely no way my girlfriend told her friend as she wasn't a believer in the paranormal and didn't make a big deal about it when she told me. To this day it is the one case in my life where I have to truly believe we all saw something in that house."
Yak-bak in a box
"I've typed it up several times on this sub so I'll make it quick. Home alone, hear my brothers voice in the attic calling my name, go check it out, find the source, it's a malfunctioning Yak-bak in a box (he obviously recorded years ago, claims not to remember), the light in the attic pops and goes out, almost break my leg getting out of there. Sat in the driveway til my parents got home. I don't consider it paranormal — and all rational explanations, but I felt a deep sense of dread up there, like I was about to be harmed."
What my Buddy Saw...
Season 1 Omg GIF by America's Got TalentGiphy"A buddy and I saw, as clear as possibly could be, a white orb appear out of the air, slowly float up through the trees, and disappear. I can explain the entire thing in detail if anyone is interested. I'm not a superstitious or religious person, but I've never heard a good scientific explanation. Ball lighting might be the best possible explanation."
- OSUfan88
Now these are the situations that require vodka. And thank God those type of spirits were created. How can anyone get through these type of situations sober?
Tap Tap Tap
Happy Los Angeles GIF by MLBGiphy"I fell asleep in a hospital waiting room and I was waking up with my eyes closed, when I felt someone tapping on my head, like fingers playing a piano. I opened my eyes and nobody was there."
Just Me
"I jolted awake one night when someone forcefully grabbed my arm. Turns out it was myself. My heart was racing and I was so shaken that I didn't get back to bed that night. No hissing though and I was definitely asleep."
When at the Depot
"Couple months ago I was exiting a Home Depot parking lot and saw a big truck coming in, I immediately knew what was going to happen and said out loud "driver has a blue hat and will honk the trucks horn twice while turning" as a way to actually believe myself if it did happened. Well guess what? "
"I couldn't see the driver until the truck cleared the entrance but when he did, I saw that he had a blue hat and did honk the horn twice as he was turning right beside me. Felt like an idiot for the whole day for saying out loud what I thought it was gonna happen, but felt weirder when it did really happen."
Super creepy...
"Horses are weird. I grew up on a horse farm with a large indoor riding arena. If there was an accident, like a horse breaking its leg, we would lay a tarp in the arena, bring the horse in if ambulatory, and wait for the vet to give their shot, "off to the glue factory" my dad would say."
"Roughly 500 meters past multiple walls are where the rest of the horses stay indoors. Anytime there's a horse who's sick or dying they often whine and kick stalls. One time a border's horse got the shot, and out of nowhere the entire barn just started screaming. Multiple horses bellowing and scrapping the stall doors with their hooves. It sounded like an equine massacre."
"Some were so upset they broke into sweats and were just huffing away. It was cold so when I opened the barn door to go back to the house, all the steam and condensation from the horse breath and sweat left the barn at once. Again, these horses had zero chance to see and could likely barely hear what was happening, and the neighing went off like an explosion. Super creepy."
Old Lady Ghost
whoopi goldberg ghost GIFGiphy"When I was in patrol, responded to a disturbance call at an apartment building with my then partner, walk in to see an elderly woman with her back to us, leans her head back and screams, than proceeds to walk into a wall and disappear! Looked as real as anything, looked at my partner and he was white as a ghost lol, never spoke of it with him or anybody till now."
- hm41
I'm calling an exorcist. There is only so much fun and games to be had. Sometimes the dead need to learn to rest. Get me some holy water.
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