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People Break Down Whether A Potential Partner's Politics Are A Dealbreaker

Reddit user duckmysick100 asked: 'How important are your partner’s political views to you? Is it a dealbreaker if they don’t align with your own?'

United States political map
Clay Banks on Unsplash

Twenty years ago, a question about politics and dating might have elicited very different answers.

But a large part of the United States seems to be getting more radicalized and more polarized.

While two decades ago most liberal versus conservative differences in the United States were about government size or spending, now it's about who has a right to exist or have body autonomy.

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relationships

People Reveal What Their Significant Other Did That Made Them Think 'F**k This, We're Done'

Reddit user The_King_Of_Spades_ asked: 'What is something that an S/O has done that made you go, 'F**k this, we're done?'

Young man looking defeated with face to palms
Christian Erfurt/Unsplash
Maintaining romantic relationships takes work, and if the people are invested enough in them, they will be willing to do everything they can to stay together.

After all, the honeymoon phase is not forever.

Eventually, reality sets in for those who want to be in it for the long haul as the lovebirds gradually start discovering weird idiosyncrasies that can either be perceived as cute quirks or aggravating annoyances.

Is it worth it?

That depends.

Curious to hear of make-it-or-break-it moments in relationships, Redditor The_King_Of_Spades_ asked:

"What is something that an S/O has done that made you go, 'F'k this, we're done'?"

These exes had no regard for the lives of others, some literally.

Serpent Murderer

"She unplugged the heater on my red tail boa's tank. Since the tank was in the spare room I only checked it every couple days. It was winter and I had just fed it so I would always leave it alone for a few days after so it wouldn't stress and have issues digesting. She went in right behind me an unplugged it after arguing with me for weeks to rehome it, which I refused to do."

"I went to check on it a few days later and noticed it froze to death. I asked her if she knew anything about it and her response was 'oh bummer, now I guess you can throw all that sh*t out.'"

"The next day when she was at work I packed all her sh*t and threw it all over her sister's front yard, since her sister was always the one telling her to just do things if I don't give her her way and had told me numerous times to get rid of my snake or else."

"RIP Doobie. I'm sorry buddy."

– burkechrs1

Funeral Brawl

"She started a fight with someone at my gran's funeral."

– LapOfHonour

"That's odd. Nobody is looking at ME for some reason..."

– VAShumpmaker

"Ummm...ex-CUSE me! I'M the ALIVE one here!"

– PicaDiet

Family Comes First

"Gave me sh*t for skipping a minor league ballgame with her family so I could go visit my grandfather in the hospital."

"It was the last time i saw him alive."

"Edit - ok i get it, the last sentence is confusing. I’m referring to gramps."

– chickentimesfive

You never know about a person's true colors.

Dodging A Bullet

"Physically barricaded me in the bedroom and forced me to change into the exact outfit he wanted me to wear before we could go out to meet his friends. I put it on just so he would let me leave and then ran a couple blocks away while he was locking up and called an Uber to my friend's house."

– Particular-Natural12

The Freeloader

"My ex drove my truck and returned it with a drop of gas in the tank. Then she took my bank card from my wallet and filled up her SUV and went to work. I started my truck and got to the gas station, opened my wallet and my card was missing. This was back when I was kind of poor and didn't have any credit cards, just a debit card. I had no cash in my wallet, so no gas. I tried to make it back home but I ran out of gas. I called her asking for help, she refused."

"My buddy picked me up on the side of the road. I went home and packed up my stuff and immediately moved out. I stayed on my friends sofa for a couple weeks while I worked out new living arrangements."

– macmac360

The kids will always be priority number one.

Scared Child

"My 12 year old son was struggling emotionally and it was causing issues with his grades. Boyfriend told him he could go live with his dad if he was going to be a loser. My son called me scared because he thought he was going to have to move to his dad’s. I was out of town at the time. I broke up with him the moment I got back and my son and I moved out."

"F'k you Chris."

– Fickle_Freckle

You Don't Go After The Children

"Called my daughter (not hers) a 'f'king b*tch that ruined our relationship'. Hard no from me."

– javawong

"Thank you for prioritizing your daughter. So many single parents don’t."

– CowboyLaw

Those who abuse animals are not relationship material.

The Last Straw

"Kicked my (our) cat."

"He pushed and pushed to get a cat. I wanted one but didn't really want to spend the next 10 years cleaning litter boxes every day. I eventually gave in because he was so persistent."

"After a few months, he came home from work in a mood one day and the cat got under his feet - as cats tend to do. He kicked her and screamed at her, and she ran and hid under the bed for hours."

"Things had been pretty sh*t between us anyway, but this was the last straw. I told him that if he can't watch where he's f'king going, he shouldn't live with a cat. He responded with something along the lines of 'well f'king get rid of her then!', and I told him I'd rather get rid of him."

"I told him to pack a bag and find somewhere else to stay. He went to stay with his mum, and I only saw him once after that day when he had to sign some paperwork to confirm that he'd moved out of our flat."

"P.S. Still got the cat. She's perfect and I love her so much. She still trips me up almost every day."

"Edit: I do feel like I should clarify (even though ex doesn't deserve it) - he didn't like, kick the cat across the room or something, but he did kick her a lot more aggressively than just tapping her out of the way with his foot. She wasn't hurt at all, but was scared. Had it been any worse, I probably would have flipped out on him even more."

– aerialpoler

Always listen to your gut when it comes to being in a bad situation.

Vulnerable individuals who are deep in love have the tendency of ignoring warning signs and realize until too late that they are with someone they never should've been with in the first place.

That's the tricky thing about pursuing love.

You don't really know a person until you spend more time with them, which is all the more reason to not rush into things.

relationships

The Weirdest Reasons Guys Suddenly Lost Interest In A Crush

coffee date
Jonathan J. Castellon/Unsplash

Infatuation is a curious thing.

One moment, you can be swept up in major adoration for someone to such a degree that you can't stop thinking about them.

But the next moment, you may suddenly find yourself moving on.

What is it that drives someone to lose their lust for their former object of affection?

Curious to hear from strangers who experienced going from hot to cold in casual dating, Redditor Romeothanh asked:

"Men who suddenly lost your interest in someone but for a weird reason, what was it??"

Questionable behaviors were seen as major turn-offs.

Poor Parenting

"The way she treated her children, her boy was permitted everything and her daughter had to follow very strict rules."

"I didn't have to ask to know what was going on, the boy's real father wasn't her ex-husband but a guy she had an affair with at work, her daughter was really from her ex-husband. She was always resentful of her upbringing and then her marriage for impeding some kind of dreamed life she thought she was entitled to. So the boy was seen as a piece of that dream and the girl was a piece of her boring life but she was also reliving her childhood through her and pushing her to excel in sports, school and manners and reveling in her daughter's accomplishments as if they were hers."

– Telesto1087

Past Grievances

"She accused me of cheating on her in a past life."

"I told her 'I don’t remember that.'”

– Breloren

"Sounds like something someone who cheated in a past life would say!"

– thefirecrest

At Least She Washes Her Hands...

"She spat in her hands and rubbed them together because she 'needed to wash them.' I cannot describe the colossal speed at which that switch turned off."

– whitesebastian

"Was she some sort of 1930’s farm hand or construction worker?"

– valueduser

There were some serious red flags.

Schadenfreude

"A elderly gentlemen fell in front of us, he took a nasty fall."

"She found it hilarious, instead of helping she just stood there laughing. I helped that person out and I felt so embarrassed for her behavior."

"Also that was the last time I saw her. It was a major turn off for me."

– oxide-NL

Good Guy Vs. Bad Guy

"I invited the girl from my psych course I'd been vibing with to a party. Her car rolled up and I came out to greet her, but it was a dude's car, and she was drunkenly making out with him as I walked up. I didn't flip out or anything, but she slurred her way through some weird attempt at reassuring me that I shouldn't worry, 'cause she was only sleeping with him to punish him because he was a bad guy (apparently that's a thing she does), and that I was a good guy. I didn't ask what happened to good guys. I felt bad for her date, whom she completely ignored the rest of the night. As for the girl, she ended up totally engrossed with the party host's gerbil, tapping on the glass of its cage whispering how she wanted to kill it. I found somewhere new to sit in psych class for the rest of the semester."

– MissionofQorma

I'm Generous And You're Gonna Like It

"She kept buying me stuff. It was nice at first but she kept doing it weekly and demanded I give gifts in return. I asked her to stop and she said "nope this is what I do." Felt like she didn't even care about what I wanted."

– Dry-Enthusiasm3515

Easiest Breakup Ever

"It was a really horrible relationship even this aside but my 'wow i think i actually hate this person' moment was when we were at Badlands National Park. We were just walking out of the gift shop with some other woman when she just let go of the door and it like slammed into that womans face. I said to her 'omg im so sorry' then when we got to the car i said to my gf in like a joking tone 'i cant beliehe you didnt hold the door for her haha' and because she was a very very miserable person all the time this makes her mad and she goes 'well YOURE the man youre supposed to hold the door. I dont NEED to hold the door for anybody' and yeah that one statement alone was very... eye opening for me."

"Seriously the easiest least heartbreaking break up ive ever gone through."

– ILoveTikkaMasala

The Cat Recognized Evil

"My cat didn't like her."

"Brought her home to introduce her to my parents, she meets my childhood cat and. It. Goes. Psychotic. Just for her reaching down to pat him, he panicked, attached himself to her arm, and wouldn't let go, just clawing at her like he found a demon to fight or something. When he eventually detached himself (they were both running around the room screaming as she tried to wave him off her arm) I checked her over and he did some damage. He's never reacted like that to anyone before or since. We broke it off shortly later."

"I found out a few years ago she was in the court system. Why? She tried to kill her own kid. I didn't dodge a bullet because of my cat, I dodged an artillery shell."

– GryphonicOwl

It's not me, it's you.

So Rude

"She didn’t hold the door open to people just meeting her at the door, would let it slam on people behind her, didn’t do the little thank you wave to other cars that let her out, didn’t say please and thank you to serving staff. She wasn’t overtly rude, she just had a bit of a me,me,me vibe."

– Hellenicparadise

Norwegian Love

"She told me she was pregnant and it was mine, 2 days after sleeping with me for the first (and only) time. Then proceeded to tell me she had a boyfriend."

"I should have twigged earlier really. She flew from Norway to sleep with me and flew back the next day."

– Perseus73

Face Reveal

"I’d been talking to this girl in class I thought was really cool. We ended up going for a bite after class one day and she suggested we go hang out in my dorm room. Hell yeah."

"Then she took off her glasses and she looked exactly like my mom. It was so jarring I excused myself to the bathroom to regroup, but when I came back I couldn’t unsee my mom’s face on her."

"I made some lame excuse and went back alone. I felt bad about bailing on her but I also how the hell would I tell her the real reason? Either she thinks I’m a weirdo or thinks I’m saying she looks like she’s in her fifties."

– OneSmoothCactus

Don't Speak

"My mate ghosted a girl simply because he didn't like her cadence when she spoke."

– Random-chick-98

My shallowest moment was years ago when I ghosted a hot tennis player I was dating because he had a particularly annoying gait.

Anytime we would walk around the city (in New York), he would gradually lean into me and prevent us from walking a straight path.

I thought he was deliberately trying to get close but it turned out that one of his legs was shorter than the other resulting in him taking uneven steps.

When he explained his situation, it weirded me out.

I didn't have the heart to tell him why I could no longer see him, so I just stopped responding to his incessant messages about when we were meeting next.

I remain regretful to this day about my immature behavior, and I wish him the best wherever he is.

dating

Cringe!: The All-Time Worst Attempts At Flirting

woman touchig man's hand at coffee date
Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦/Reddit

Not everyone excels in the art of flirting, and who can blame them?

Getting the attention of someone you admire can be nerve-wracking, and your lack of confidence in the heat of the moment can be amplified and make you appear less attractive to the object of your affection.

Curious to hear examples of what to avoid in the pursuit of passion, Redditor Veetojek asked:

"What was the worst attempt at flirting you have ever seen?"

These advances are just genuinely bizarre.

Inept Pupil

"My friend in college started hanging out with 'pick up artists' and decided to demonstrate his prowess to us on the quad. His strat was to approach a girl and ask what she thought he should make for dinner that night (I guess it was supposed to lead to an invitation?) He then very-much-not-confidently approached a girl who was clearly in a hurry and, staring at the ground, delivered the line. The girl glared at him and, with great annoyance, said 'I have no idea! Spaghetti, or something?' And my buddy, still staring at the ground, said 'Oh-oh-ok. Uh, thanks' and shuffled away."

He also “learned” from this group that you’re supposed to touch a girl’s arm every time she laughs to condition her to associate your touch with a release of dopamine or endorphins or something. So I witnessed this several times as well, never done with any subtlety or charisma. He did finally get laid after about eight months of trying but the whole thing seemed creepy to me."

– Dr_broadnoodel

Weird Pitch

"It was me. In sixth grade I wrote a girl’s name on a rock and threw it at her during recess. Apparently they don’t like that 🤷🏻♂️"

– neon_eyeballs

"Did your approach change much from those days with the introduction of pokeballs?"

– OP

Stranger Danger

"On a walk with my dog, hot sweaty and not in the best clothes. This man drove behind me following me for a few minutes and I looked and said can I help you? He said let’s go on a date! Hop in!"

"I said no thanks and he revved his engine, asked if I was sure then sped off. I was legit scared."

– Allieora

These attempts at flirting are straight from a sitcom.

Down The Rabbit Hole

"A man asked a woman sitting next to me, 'I think your name is Alice since I'm lost in Wonderland.'"

– boukaree

"Oof. That made me cringe, imagining it."

– No_Letterhead_7683

Hairy Situation

"Guy on a trip saw a new girl in our group that he found cute. Decided to take the insult-as-a-form-of-flirting path and told her she had really hairy arms for a girl. Mind you, she had incredibly fair skin, so her hairs stood out more than usual. She, having too nice of a personality to say anything, laughed it off, covered her arm in a real smooth manner, and went on with whatever conversation was happening. My guy thought it worked because it 'made her laugh;' and you know you've got the green light when she laughs at your jokes. The next day he goes up to her during breakfast thinking he locked it up and exclaims, 'Oh my god your arms are so hairy that it's gonna make me sick!!' She doesn't laugh this time, runs back to her room, and changes into a long-sleeve shirt. She proceeded to wear long-sleeve shirts or sweaters for the remainder of the trip...in the middle of July. They didn't have a single interaction for the remaining 4 days."

– TYRONEmonies

Fumbling For Words

"My own. Drunk at a party talking to a cute girl she takes her glasses off. I thought this would be a good time for a genuine compliment. What my mouth said 'I like your face better with your glasses on' she just laughed. Pretty sure what I was trying to say is I like your glasses, and you have a pretty face. I just combined them."

– HooterEnthusiast

Clumsy Gymnast

"When I was in 3rd grade I had a crush on my babysitter."

"I decided to impress her by demonstrating my acrobatic prowess. I sprung from the side of a spiral slide and grabbed the monkey bars without touching the ground. Unfortunately, my hands slipped, I flipped through the air, and shattered my wrist in two places upon landing."

"My first thought was, 'Don't cry; be tough.' then I saw my wrist, it looked like a sine wave. I immediately started crying."

– ANerdCalledMike

Some guys come on way too strong

Hey, Barkeep!

"I saw two girls talking at a bar, and this guy walks up and interrupts them with a 'Heheheyyy, what are you ladies drinkin tonight eh? (Slaps the bar) Hey Barkeep, lemme get a couple rounds for these two!' They of course took the drinks, but promptly relocated away from that obnoxious dude."

– Xdude199

Bye, Scooter

"When I was younger I worked in a bar with a guy nicknamed 'Scooter.'"

"He'd say to any girl that was alone at the bar, 'Hi! My name is Scooter. I like to f'k. How do you like me so far?'"

"Some would glare and walk away, and a couple of times he got slapped across the face...but eventually he'd get a giggle."

"And he never went home alone."

– PJMurphy

Scene From A Gas Station

"When I was working at a gas station I had a dude just walk up to the register and just go ‘hey you have a boyfriend’"

"Of course he didn’t take ‘I’m not interested’ for an answer after. My assistant manager had to all put shove him out the door to get him to leave."

– SilverSoulFox

Daddy Cringey

"I worked in retail for a long time."

"I’ll never forget the time when this late 50s looking guy blatantly cat called an older woman who was wearing black boots. He said, 'Damn baby you gonna wear those boots all day for daddy?'. Then she goes, 'Not a chance.' He went quiet and she walked away. I had to hold in my laughter cause it was just so cringey to see."

– xSevusxBean4y

Either one's advances can come off as presumptuous and cocky or vulnerable and meek.

In most cases, people looking for love are overthinking it.

Here's a tip: Just relax and be yourself when approaching someone you like.

Being natural will not make you look desperate.

While there are no guarantees in scoring a date with this approach, chances are that with practice, you'll gain more confidence without overdoing it.

flirting

People Confess How Important Sex Is To Them In A Relationship

Couple under the sheets
Womanizer Toys/Unsplash

Most people aim to have a perfect relationship.

But what does that exactly mean?

What is deemed "perfect" varies among couples. For some, it means a relationship is free of problems and that maintaining perpetual bliss is attainable if you're with the right person.

But there is one variable that can make or break relationships, and that is physical intimacy.

Curious to explore more about the significance of physical passion, Redditor iphonexmas asked:

"How important is sex for you in a relationship?"

It becomes a problem when it is a problem.

Perspective In Percentages

"If our sexlife is working well it’s 10% of the relationship. If it is not working it’s 90% of the relationships."

– Ingenja

"Good answer and very true in my experiences. When the sex is great and consistent, it's a non issue and something I don't even think of. It gets very apparent that something is wrong when it dies down considerably."

– NoEggplant6322

Contrasting Experiences

"I hadn't thought about it this way until now and it's incredibly true."

"I was in a relationship for 4 years where sex was a constant issue. I constantly craved and needed it. In a way I felt starved of intimacy and closeness with the woman I loved. I was beginning to wonder if she even found me attractive or if she even loved me at all. It really weighed on me in ways that I didn't expect. Sex became an all consuming thing in my life and eventually was part of what drove us apart."

"I'm now in a relationship where we have satisfying sex on a somewhat regular basis. We'll sometimes go several days without doing it but other days we can barely keep our hands off each other. In the end, I never feel unwanted or undesirable. Our sex life is a complete non-issue and I couldn't be happier. I don't obsess over it like I used to. I don't feel like I'm pressuring my partner and feel less disgusted with myself."

– itsthelittlethings69

Is It A "Me" Problem?

"I am literally going through exactly what youve described. It’s affected my mental health that much that I constantly go to the gym,eat as best as possible and even had a go on anabolics. My thoughts were She’ll find me attractive if I get in better shape,get bigger, more muscular."

"But no, nothing ever seemed to change,unfortunately that girl is just not attracted to me the same way as I am to her and it’s painful. What’s wrong with me?!🤷🏼♂️"

"I feel like I’ve got a Ferrari outside that I can’t drive. Yeah it’s nice to look at but the engine is missing."

"There’s only so many times over the years a man can hear the words 'no' before he gets fed up."

– beardedbateman

People like using metaphors.

Liquid Dreamz

"Well put. It's like water that way. If you're getting it regularly, then you can take it for granted. If you're not getting it regularly, then ... we have problems."

– Bizarre_Protuberance

Waiting To Exhale

"Sex is a lot like air. It's no big deal if you're getting it."

– MaximumZer0

"Sex is certainly not like sand."

– Nosferatatron

"I hate sand, it gets everywhere."

– luckylookinglurker

People learned from previous relationships where the lack of sex was an issue.

It's A Must

"Very important, my first relationship turned into a dead bedroom situation and for me that's a 'never again'."

– HotTortillaCheese

Realizing When It's Time To Move On

"Not OP, but I had the same situation. It was a 3 year relationship, and I started noticing it after the first year. It gradually got worse over the next 2 years."

"When I finally had sex again after the relationship, I was blown away. It was probably average sex, but it was just so bad in the prior relationship that it felt incredible."

"Both people need to actually enjoy getting the other person off. Once it becomes a chore, I don't think it can even be repaired. Sadly, you have to move on. But don't feel too bad. It's incredibly common. I was best friends with my ex. Everything seemed perfect. Well, almost everything. That's what made it so hard to have the conversation."

– HypnoticONE

Compatible In Every Other Way

"My partner is also my best friend and everything else is great. Like in every aspect of life we match so well except the bedroom. In the first year it was great but then not so much.. I'm so scared of ending this wonderful relationship solely because of the libido mismatch, but I feel like we've tried so much to save it and it isn't working sadly. Intensive therapy would be the last step."

"I fear I won't find somebody who is so compatible with me in every way ever again. Probably irrational but it's how I feel right now. So scared of letting this go."

"I've kind of lost the ability to look forward to sex? If you know what I mean. The rare time that it is about to happen, I just question it, eh it isn't going to happen or I cannot get into it. I feel like I'm somehow broken, my libido has gone down but I don't feel like it's natural, just a response to my partner's lower libido."

– StrawberryBuzz02

Mismatched Libido

"Sex in my marriage is down to maybe once or twice a month. This may be fine for my wife, but I’m a pretty horny guy. At the same time, at this point I’ve pretty much given up expecting sex. I just assume it’s not going to happen and maybe she’ll let me know when she wants it. The sex itself is pretty good, even if it’s usually nothing special in terms of how we do it."

"I recognize that giving birth to two kids and the stress of everyday life can play havoc on libido, so I don’t blame her (especially since she has chronic back problems). And for a year we also had houseguests that made sex even more difficult. Now they left. There’s just nothing I can do to my own libido, so I just satisfy myself privately when I can. Obviously not the same, but I’d rather get it over with than have my mind be filled with sex all day. It’s also difficult not to remember the early years of our relationship when we f'ked like rabbits. But I don’t want to bring it up and make her feel guilty"

– ChronoLegion2

For some, settling is better than separating.

Still In Love

"I've been married 20 years, the bedroom wasn't quite dead but I've remained HL while my spouse went from HL to LL gradually over a period of a decade or so. More recently, a mix of medical and other issues got in the way and we haven't had sex in nearly a year. Does it suck? Yes. Do we still love each other? Also yes."

"In my late 20s, I would have said I could never live in a committed, sexless relationship. But here I am, and while I'm not happy about that part of the relationship, I'm very happy with the person I picked."

– asmnqo

Based on the examples above, sex is very important and is key to having a fulfilling relationship.

If an individual is not feeling desirable or wanted by their significant other, it can be a motivator for them to seek satisfaction outside the relationship.

Also, the importance of sex in a relationship is just as important as communication. If neither party addresses the elephant in the room, it can breed resentment.

relationships