People Confess Their Weirdest Dating Requirements
Reddit user DawnOfLegion1 asked: 'What's the weirdest dating requirement you have?'
Though we mean nothing by it, there's no denying the fact that there are some characteristics, personality types, and behaviors that we find to be a total turn-off when it comes to dating.
The difficult part, though, is that what we find to be unattractive might be an unusual or unexpected thing to point out to someone else. To each their own, right?
Curious about what others' expectations were, Redditor DawnOfLegion1 asked:
"What's the weirdest dating requirement you have?"
Similar Intelligence
"He should be as smart as or smarter than me."
"There's no bigger turnoff than a guy who is noticeably dumber and there's nothing hotter than a guy who is particularly intelligent."
- _hootyowlscissors
"I'll second this. If he's slightly less intelligent, I can deal with it (although it IS a turnoff), but I've had friends date hot dumb guys, and I never got the appeal. At all. Even if the guy was sweet, I just kept thinking I would feel like I was messing with the village id**t. Not my thing at all."
- LeRuseRenard
Completely Available
"I require my date to be single. Not 'we have an understanding', not 'she doesn't understand me', and not 'we're separated and neither of us can afford an apartment on our own.' SINGLE. Not married."
"The last time a guy told me that his wife was okay with it, I told him that I wanted to hear those words from his wife. Never talked to him again."
- INobodyisme
Mind the Rules
"No getting up at 6:00 AM to do CrossFit."
"No drinking and driving."
"No crazy ex that seems to hang around with them a lot."
- Haelifae
One Word: Reciprocity
"Not a requirement, but if I paid for dinner, you paying for two ice creams or coffees isn’t all that bad."
- Soup_and_Rice
"Reciprocity."
"The older I get, the more I realize how important it is that they put in as much effort as I am."
"It doesn't have to be the same thing, have your own style; but I can't be doing all the work, all the time."
"This is with money (buy me dinner sometimes, offer to get my drink), sex (I can be a little more dominant, but you have to initiate sometimes, you have to be into it, I can't do all the work), romance or intimacy (reach out and grab my hand to walk, touch my back sometimes), or communication (text me first just to check in, for once)."
- TheLateThagSimmons
Weird Requirement: Weird
"She must be weird. And I mean truly, the kind of weird that makes other men run away."
- Vamluck
Just Equally Weird
"They have to be a little bit pervy and a little bit weird."
- CherryApple89
"When I was younger, if I was at the bar and there was a guy I thought might be fun to talk to, I would walk up and in the sexiest voice, I would tell them they have the hottest knees I have ever seen on a man."
"10 seconds flat, I would know whether they were someone I wanted to get to know. So I think I have the weird thing down."
- Dull-Geologist-8204
The Importance of Quiet Time
"I wanna be able to just chill with them doing nothing. I've been with someone who always had to be doing something and it got exhausting really fast."
- Shatteredfart
Seems Fair
"Not currently recovering from something."
"All tattoos must be spelled correctly."
"Employed."
"Four-tooth minimum."
- Mohawk60
Staying on Equal Footing
"Not sure how weird it is, but my rule is that I pay for myself every step of the way until we decide to become a couple."
"After that, we can split the bills, or take turns treating each other, etc., if that is what we both choose."
"Too many times I let a guy buy me dinner, and it is somehow implied that I now owe him something. Nope. All done with that."
- One-Internet-1982
"As a man, I have a lot of respect for that. I don't mind paying for dates and such, but I always get a bit of an icky feeling when the woman expects or demands it."
"I prefer more of an equal partnership rather than old-school gender roles, and stuff as basic as, 'Hey, you paid for the last date, let me get this one,' goes such a long way, and I feel like it also shows genuine interest from the other person."
- CaptainFresh27
Willing to Try New Things
"No picky eaters. It’s okay if you’re not a foodie, but I like to cook, and if you won’t give my food a chance, it’s not gonna work out."
- Pandaburn
A Lover of Drama
"If your profile says, 'No drama, please,' I immediately assume you are the drama or are too immature to handle life’s normal ups and downs and consider that to be drama."
- WillowWispWhipped
Intense Passion
"I love it when they have a hyper fixation."
- Unlikely-Base-4989
"The ADD/ADHD community loves you back."
- YakitoriChicken93
Knowing Your Own Limits
"No horse girls."
"I've got nothing against it, but it’s always very important to them and I’m too terrified of horses to be properly supportive, lol (laughing out loud)."
- Former-Finish4653
What's in a Name?
"They cannot have the same name as my sister or my mom."
"Alternatively, my name is unisex and a girl with my name is a turn on."
- Smellymyhand
Quite the Commitment
"I've decided that anybody I plan to spend my life with has to be willing to buy and ride a tandem bike with me."
- Sheepherder_7648
Despite the prompt being "weird requirements," some of these make a lot of sense, and more people might be adding these to their list of requirements after reading this.
But others are slightly more unexpected and likely fall under the "to each their own" category.
People Break Down The Qualities That Instantly Make A Man More Attractive
Reddit user Extension_Flan_6615 asked: 'What instantly makes a man attractive?'
From kindness to hilarity, there are some qualities that will instantly make a person more likable or attractive.
But there are some less-expected things that will instantly make a man more attractive.
Redditor Extension_Flan_6615 asked:
"What instantly makes a man attractive?"
An Air of Goodwill
"When he shows a sense of humor, not taking himself too seriously, and kindness."
- TheSaladInYourHair
Genuine Hobby-Sharing
"Attractive for five seconds? Abs and a broad smile."
"Attractive for slightly longer? A good joke or an actual compliment."
"Attractive like boyfriend material? Being genuinely interested in my hobbies and knowing how to explain your own without making me feel stupid."
- Aggressive_Tear_769
A Unique Skillset
"Owns a llama farm."
- leviticusreeves
"Cries in Alpaca."
- Folhaki
True Humbleness
"Humble confidence."
- AwkwardFortuneCookie
"The kind of guy who never acts like he knows more than everyone but actually does. (Swoon)"
- shegedep
A Clean Look
"Personal grooming."
"While it might not make you attractive in the literal sense, there is little that is LESS attractive than a person who stinks and wears ill-fitting, ill-maintained clothing."
"Wash yourselves, dress yourselves like you care what you look like, and you will instantly look far more attractive than you would otherwise."
- EclecticDreck
Kind to Animals
"Petting a stray cat."
- ZealousIdealKing2736
"Oh my gosh yes. Men that are kind to cats are automatically sexy."
- pussnbootsmeow
"When I see a random guy petting a cat, I just melt."
- zerowo_
Self-Confidence
"Self-confidence."
- Emotional-Sorbet-759
"I learned recently that 'self-confidence' is the most misunderstood concept in our era, mystified and distorted by the red-pill movement, even up to hilarious levels."
"Self-confidence comes from how much you know yourself, how you accept your limits, and mostly, that you won't be shaken if others won't like you. Self-confidence is high when you are truly content and happy with yourself, and you don't need someone else to make you happy."
"'Didn't she talk to me? Fine, I'm happy anyway, because I can be content with myself anyway.'"
"But it takes a lot of work, possibly with a therapist, to work on your demons and kill them."
- Joonto
Unexpected Physics
"Enough mass that he generates his own irresistible gravitational pull."
- DoggoToucher
Self-Sufficient Human
"One that doesn’t 'need' a woman to be a happy, healthy individual."
- Aries-Corinthier
Personal Preferences
"For me personally: A good sense of humor, Confidence, and Nice hands (it’s the artist in me, I don't know)."
- Whiskeybreathh
Deeply Authentic and True to Themselves
"Intelligence and confidence, nice smile, sense of humor, sense of fashion. But especially authenticity, I like people that look different, I am into weirdos but in a good way. And I also love it when they are into art and music."
- art_baby
Period.
"No fragile masculinity."
- ForestGnomeX
Honors Boundaries
"Knowing his self-worth. This isn't to be confused with being a cocky f**ker... I mean one that can recognize when a person, place or thing isn't for him anymore, silently removes himself and can confidently articulate his reasoning when challenged."
"Boundaries are sexy... to me anyway."
- InhalingBacon
That About Sums It Up
"I am a man, attracted to women, so these answers are the best I can figure out based on experience. Everyone has preferences so these generalizations sometimes don’t apply."
"What makes men attractive to other men: fitness and how willing you are to bang."
"What makes men attractive to women:"
"How bright you are. Doesn’t necessarily have to be smart, but whether you're passionate about something and active. Blandness and docility are not attractive. You need a sense of purpose."
"Your looks. Looks are part of attraction for everyone who can see. THAT DOESN’T MEAN HUGE MUSCLES for the young men here. Fitness is part of the picture but grooming and self-presentation are key. A big giant slob is less attractive than a skinny but well-groomed man with a nice haircut and smile."
"How you make them feel. Women will pick up on your character. Is he possessive or is he protective? Patient and kind or quick to anger? Is he honest? Nurturing (yes, nurturing. That’s part of the reason men with healthy and well-behaved dogs are approached more)?"
"How does he respond to setbacks and to being disagreed with? Women want to know if they’ll be safe and loved in a relationship and will try to figure you out before they get involved."
"That’s the best I have been able to ascertain. Yes, wealth is a big plus for being attractive. That’s true for anyone. The points above are more actionable and universally applicable. Wealth can be hard to control and it takes a long time to change your status, but getting a haircut and a nice shirt can be done more easily."
"Having passion and being kind, honest, loving, trusting, and brave are free you just need self-awareness."
- WhatHadHapenedWas
Selective Listening Powers
"Women answering: Takes care of himself, sense of humor, and doesn't take himself too seriously."
"Men answering: Has money and is tall."
- my_son_is_a_box
"Women: no, seriously. We want well-groomed men who are funny and kind."
"Men: (not listening) MONEY and TALL."
- grapefruit_witchhh
While we're all attracted to distinctly different people, it's intriguing to see how often some of these, such as personal grooming, self-confidence, and kindness, were mentioned.
Nearly everyone of age has gone on at least one date in their lives, and we're here to say that dating is hard, if not also often disappointing.
But in some cases, dating can become so disappointing, we fail to see any reason to continue trying to do it anymore.
One Redditor asked:
"Men who gave up on dating, what happened?"
Feeling Misunderstood
"The only thing lonelier than being alone is being with someone that doesn't understand you."
- Environmental-Low729
Breaking the Ice
"Dating apps suck. And people don't want to get to know each other on them; they want to be entertained."
"'Hello' and 'I see you like [subject]' are considered boring openers."
"And meeting people IRL (in real life) becomes difficult when you work nights and weekends."
- jackfaire
Nowhere to Meet People
"I mean, where do you even go to meet people? The only place I can think of is at the bar. And I don’t really wanna meet someone at the bar."
- SnooDoodles239
"Same, man. I go to the gym daily, the skatepark a lot, and coffee shops to work/draw. In every scenario, it seems like people just don’t want to be approached, either, so I don’t even try anymore."
"And I absolutely hate the idea of having to meet someone at a bar since I don’t even drink."
- EntOak
Third Wheel Vibes
"A lot of men are awful for only seeing women as a pair of t*ts and an @ss, but a lot of women only see men as a wallet. (To clarify, I'm speaking only about the people on the apps, although it might apply to the population in general somewhat.)"
- Smorgas_of_borg
"I made the mistake of downloading Tinder a few months back to get back into the dating game (I'm a lesbian)."
"At least half the profiles were women looking for a third for a threesome with their boyfriend (with no photographs of either, ever), a quarter are bi/pan poly women who have boyfriends and want something on the side (absolutely no shade at poly people, but 100% not for me), and the rest seems to be a charming mix of people for whom the most interesting thing they can say about themselves is that they watch TV series or smoke weed."
"It was the sort of thing I wouldn't be fussed with if I was still 19, but I'm getting too close to thirty for my liking and it's just kinda sad."
- medievals**t
Used to Being Single
"I just live the single life. I mean, I failed in the relationships I had a real chance with due to the myriad of mental issues I now work to manage. The issue is I am getting old and the dating pool just shrinks fast after a certain age, so now I just 'retired' from trying while working on keeping my mental problems from controlling my life."
"In a way, it is liberating. I don't have to try for anyone except myself, so anything I put real effort into is solely for my own enjoyment."
- TrixieLurker
"This is so true. After the last time I invested myself emotionally and it left me wrecked, I just came to the conclusion that I need to be satisfied with myself first. If I'm not happy with myself, I won't be happy with anyone. Or worse, I'd share my worst stuff with others."
- JackieMortez
A Shifting Landscape
"I took some time off to reconsider things after some bad relationships, and by the time I was interested again, the whole dating landscape had changed, and I find the whole thing exhausting. Toss in how the pandemic changed the ways people interact, switching jobs and lifestyles, and there just doesn't seem to be much opportunity for a man like me."
- BonnaroovianSky
Another Part-Time Job
"Dating is like taking on a part-time job. I don't have the time or the energy."
- LeiaBryce
"With very little reward for effort."
- No-Knowledge-8867
"And it costs you money instead of earning it."
- Thats_smurfed_up
Too Expensive
"Being a gay man, looking at the straight dating world sometimes is fascinating and weird."
"The expectation for the man to always pay for the date is such bulls**t, for one thing. I’m such a cheap [c-word], I’m sure I would never f**k anyone if I was straight, lol (laughing out loud). That makes me glad I’m not!"
- panasch
"As a married straight guy, I too look on with horror fascination! I can’t imagine dealing with some of this crap."
"That said, on our first date, I offered to pay, and my now wife said, 'Deal, but I’m paying for the next date.'"
- W0rk3rB
"That's wife material."
- Shazam1269
Mentally Unstimulating
"Every few months I think, 'Yeah, I'll give it a try again,' and pretty much within a week or so, I decide I can't be bothered spending my time having boring conversations."
- fork_that
"Once I started having offensive conversations on dates, I found my now-wife within a month."
"The Bob's Burgers speed dating approach seriously works. When you share the bad stuff that you would absolutely need a potential partner to be able to live with, it makes things a lot easier."
- High_Horse617
The Plain Truth
"No one was interested in me."
- sentientlob0069
"I feel this."
- well-dressed-dogs
Too Old For This
"I'm 38. I really want to date women who are my own age. I feel creepy going up to a 24-year-old. I should have been married 20 years ago with grandchildren right now."
"I want to find someone to try to salvage what life and potential I still have left to maybe build something, but godd**n do they have to make it d**n near impossible. That part of me is in ruins."
- Felarhin
Sacred Solo Time
"To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, I was tired of being with someone that robbed me of my solitude while denying me companionship."
- Blue8Delta
An Overwhelming List of Requirements
"I'm just tired. I feel like everyone I date has a laundry list of expectations for me. I just want to be seen as myself and not just 'a guy.'"
- Aggressive_Oil_565
"Have you ever noticed over the years that the list of expectations just keeps growing, and if you don't hit every point on the list, you're not worthy? Like, nine out of ten points doesn't count; it's all or nothing. It's just become so exhausting trying to meet these unrealistic expectations."
- CptGinyu8410
Ten Years' Experience and Advanced Degrees Required
"You know how you go look at job ads and you'll often see a bunch of postings for jobs that require master's degrees, an exhaustive interview process, and then always turn around and offer minimum wage?"
"That's kind of what dating feels like these days. I feel like there's a certain atmosphere of bitterness and low-level hostility between single people in their 30s. After years of effort with no reward, I've decided that I'm done."
- Felarhin
"These days, the dating job market wants you to have a Ph.D."
- MatthewGalloway
The Relationship to End Them All
"I was broken up with by the love of my life a little over a year ago, a relationship which I thought would last a lifetime."
"I don’t have the motivation anymore. I don’t really care about anything anymore, to be honest, lol (laughing out loud)."
- jonsbryhill
"Same here. I can't imagine even thinking of anyone else romantically. It would feel like cheating."
- bo-tvt
This list certainly makes the dating scene sound dismal, and it's really no wonder that some of these Redditors have given up on it for good.
But hopefully, someone will surprise them in the future, and they can happily be with someone without all the negatives features they've mentioned here.
While we can all dream that there is the perfect person out there for everyone, we can also agree that each person is not perfect for everyone else. There are absolutely dealbreakers that would apply to one person and not someone else.
But most of us can agree that there are certain things that you absolutely do not say on a first date.
Redditor TacticalBabushka asked:
"What is the worst thing to say on a first date?"
No Fat-Shaming Allowed
"Once I went on a date with a guy, and afterward I messaged something like, 'So what did you think?'"
"And he answered, 'You carry your weight well.'"
"I was surprised, because it’s a subject that had never come up before at any point, and this was back before filters existed, so he knew exactly how I looked before we met, it wasn’t due to any surprises."
"He also wasn’t into 'overweight women,' per his own admission, so this wasn’t said with enthusiasm."
- HyperboleEverAfter
Sweet Ulterior Motives
"My husband actually said to me on our first date, 'I’m really glad you’re not skinny.'"
"I think he meant it as a compliment. 12 years later, I realize it’s because he assumed (correctly) I could cook."
"He likes to eat."
"I am 5’7 and at the time we met, I weighed 190ish. I’m pretty solid built, and yeah, I have some meat on me, but it’s not sloppy. I’ve always worn a size 12/14 and I’m busty."
"He weighed 260 at 5’9 and was into bodybuilding, his chest measured 52 inches (no man boobs). He also worked in a steel mill at the time and probably needed to consume 5k calories a day just to maintain. We are not small people, lol (laughing out loud)."
"And yes, I can cook very well. Good food is very important to him. We currently weigh 160 (me) and 250."
- Argercy
"He likes to eat so much he put his own foot in his mouth!"
- Constant-Sandwich-88
Too Much Too Fast
"I love you."
- Bmilvis
"So, this reminds me of something that happened to me (TL;DR: the man was already making plans for marriage and the rest of our lives not even five minutes after meeting each other):"
"A Tinder date said, 'I saw in your profile that you’re in environmental science as well as soil science. How about we take some time to negotiate where we should move in the future when we are married based on where you want to study.'"
"I chuckled at him and thought he was just being cheeky and flirty, but then he got this very confused and serious expression and said, 'Why are you laughing? You don’t see yourself marrying me?'"
"And it was after we JUST said hi to each other, bruh!"
- Astro_Baddie
The Ex Talk
"Anything about your ex that was unprompted."
- Jugnaut_
"Oh yes. I went on a first date where my date started talking about his exes for some reason. Then it continued to how he was still friends with most of them. And the finale was, 'I may not be a good boyfriend, but I'm a great ex.'"
"The appetizers weren't even served yet... I really didn't know what to do with that information. We didn't meet again (for that and other reasons)."
- double_plankton
"I met up with a girl on Tinder in the middle of quarantine and just blabbered on about my last couple of girlfriends for like an hour in her car and then left. It felt so good to talk to someone in person that wasn’t my parents."
"Then she texted me as soon I I drove off like, 'Maybe next time you meet up with someone, you should let them speak and not talk about all of your ex-girlfriends, dude.'"
"It was pretty f**king embarrassing honestly, lol (laughing out loud)."
- parkrat92
"Bro was looking for a therapy session."
- The_Next_Legend
A Way to Be Introduced
"I saw your sister when I was going through all your Facebook pics. She's hot. Is she seeing anyone?"
- I_Lick_Bananas
Inappropriate Promises
"From a girl to me: 'I am so fertile, you can get me pregnant just by looking at me.' She was in her mid 20's, with three kids, all from different fathers."
"I did not go back for a second date."
- Tallguy67ca
Weird Comparisons
"'You remind me of my mom.'"
- Icy_Alfalfa_6896
"This happened to me… I eventually met her and realized i don’t want to ever become them."
- ZealousIdeal_Face572
"Or 'you remind me of my ex.'"
- notthepapa
Acing the Test
"You have passed the preliminaries and are definitely in the running. Good job."
- Shiny_Whisper_321
Sad Trombone
"Not me, but my wife and I were having lunch near a college campus. We ordered and found a spot. There were two college kids sitting behind me. There weren't a lot of patrons so it wasn't as loud as it could be."
"With that being said, from the conversation they were having, we gathered it was a first date."
"Our food arrived and we started eating, and midway through, I looked at my wife and told her I was glad we were past all that awkwardness of figuring each other out."
"Another five minutes hadn't even passed, and I heard the guy telling his date that, 'At night I have to play really sad music because I can only go to sleep if I cry...'"
"When I tell you my wife and I stopped mid-chew and wide-eyed stared at each other... I started to turn around to save him from digging deeper, but my wife grabbed my arm and shook her head no."
"Then my wife said she (the date) had this. What she saw that I didn't, was the young man's date was in the process of grabbing her purse and leaving."
"He sat there for about five minutes after that and left. I looked at my wife and said, 'He's probably going to sleep early tonight.'"
- MastrShak3
All the Red Flags
"I’ve heard a lot of crazy and bad stuff on first dates."
"One told me her boyfriend was in jail and she will be with him when he gets out and she doesn’t want him to know that she’s dating other people. But that wasn’t the worst."
"Neither was the date that had six beers while we talked for a few hours and said it helped her anxiety (an alcoholic red flag)."
"The worst was someone that spent almost an entire hour telling me how unhappy she was with her life. I mean her family made her unhappy, her job made her unhappy, her body made her unhappy, her baggage made her unhappy and even her car made her unhappy. She was looking for someone that would sign up to help her make it all better."
"I told her good luck and thank you for the time. It was the best learning experience I had on a first date."
- palm_desert_tangelos
When No is a Complete Sentence
"In my twenties, early twenties, I walked in, sat down at the table, and the girl simply said, 'No.'"
"I got up, walked back out, and drove home. I say that sucked quite a bit, you know."
- randomdaysnow
Awkward or Fun?
"'You have the same name as my dog.'"
- BlueCanary434
"I’m laughing now, but if a guy ever told me that, I’d be confused and then would bond with his dog so hard. The stories that I could tell that would sound weird as if I were talking about myself would be amazing."
- New-Seesaw9255
Educational Matters
"'You know the earth's flat, right?'"
- WillKillz
The Second-Hand Embarrassment
"One time on a date, the girl wanted to pick me up. Weird but sure. So we saw a movie and then we grabbed coffee, and she was just driving me around."
"She mentioned work was so boring that day that she wanted to pull her hair out."
"Like an id**t, out of my mouth come the words, 'Don’t do that. Nobody likes a bald girl.'"
"She went quiet for a second and then said, 'I guess this is a good time to tell you that I have cancer and this is a wig.'"
"I still crawl inside myself with I think about that."
- KarateKid1984
We've all made mistakes in our lives and likely have said some things we didn't mean or that we wish we could have phrased better. But when we're trying to make a good first impression on a first date, there's a special sting to those mistakes that we make.
Dating can be frustrating, but it definitely has its moments.
There's nothing quite like the moment, however, of realizing that they are with the person they're meant to be with for the rest of their lives.
Redditor KingKerttula asked:
"People of Reddit, what was your 'Yep, she/he is the one' moment?"
Solo Trips... Plus One
"I always enjoyed taking a trip by myself while in a relationship. On the last trip alone, I found myself thinking, 'This would be more fun if she was here,' for the first time. I knew then that she was the one."
- Wisebutt98
A Missed Birthday
"She had a brain injury days before my birthday. She woke up from a coma, and the first thing she did was ask nurses/doctors about me and my birthday even though they had no idea who I was."
"I’ve never had someone care so much about me to be the first thing they think of when waking up after brain surgery."
- SurprisedTissue
Traveling Together
"We'd been dating less than a year when my job transferred me across the country. I went to talk to her, figuring it was going to be a breakup, but instead, she nonchalantly asked, 'When do we leave?'"
- pm_me_ur_cutie_bototy
"When I graduated college, I took a job that would be six hours drive time away from my then-new girlfriend. Shortly thereafter, she just up and moved to my new town without even telling me in advance. (Well, she called me on Thursday and said, 'Can you be here Saturday to help me drive the truck?')."
"Anyhow, we're still together almost 50 years later."
- drebinf
Finally Home
"We were cooking in the kitchen. It just happened. There are no words I know to describe the clarity and joy and peace and comfort that I felt, maybe just, home. It was a moment I won't forget."
- positive_express
The Workplace Romance
"She admitted the reason we were having so many problems with our scanner at work, despite the fact we rarely even used it, is because she was working up the courage to ask me out and thought that bending over in front of my desk on a regular basis would encourage me to do it instead."
"Which it would have done, had I not been deliberately averting my eyes every time she did so she couldn't catch me staring and think I was a pervert."
- strangeismid
Sharing a Coat
"The first moment was our second date."
"I was financially in a deficit when we met. I work in an industry that relies on your passion before you make any kind of decent money."
"It was January, and it's cold where we live. It was -28c on our first date, a few days before (with windchill). It wasn't much better on the second date. I did not have a proper winter coat. I would layer, and usually, with a little Canadian gumption, it was enough to get through the winters."
"He showed up with an older coat of his, really warm, lined, suitable up to -40... and was like, 'I hate to see you so cold.'"
"Now, there have been countless moments when I knew he was the one, but the care for my person so early on really hit a note in my soul."
"We moved in together after six months, have been together 10 years, and married for six. We have two little girls."
- roadfries
No Criticism
"We weren't having sex yet, but we were sleeping in the same bed. I was cuddled up with my head on his shirtless chest. I woke up in a huge pool of my own drool. Mortified, I grabbed a towel that was thankfully right by the bed and started to try to sneakily dab it up. He'll never know."
"I finally look up at his face, to check that he hasn't stirred, and he is very awake, and watching me clean up my drool with an amused look on his face. He wasn't grossed out. He didn't mock me. He slept with me again the next night... didn't judge me. I knew he was a keeper."
- thesamemae
Unconditional Love
"Two answers, really."
"Either the time we had our worst fight ever and my every instinct was to walk away forever, but I realized I just couldn't do it because it would be the stupidest thing I'd ever done in my life, so god d**mit apparently I was going to stay and we were going to talk this s**t out if it took all night. (It didn't... Quite.)"
"Or, if you want the sweeter version: the first time she was laughing so hard she couldn't breathe and instinctively curled into me."
"There are a thousand moments, really. Making her smile is my win condition for life."
- Otherwise_Window
The Kid Connection
"We were long distancing at the time, visiting each other whenever we could. When we knew we were going to be long-term, we met each other's kids."
"One time, the kids and I were playing Phase 10, and my husband video-called me. My oldest said, 'Oh, is that <partner's name>?!?!'"
"My child snatched my phone away and had a 40-minute conversation with my now-husband, showing husband cards, asking opinions on which card he should play, etc. Finally, my kid says, 'Ok, here's mom again. Bye!'"
"When I got the phone back, my husband was a little teary-eyed. The fact that he engaged with my child like that, and that it meant that much to him. I know there were other times, but I think this was where I really just KNEW."
"We also used to stay on the phone when I went to bed. One night, he thought I was asleep already, and he whispered. 'I AM going to marry you.'"
- It_Wasnt_Me79
A Modern-Day Medusa
"For my (now) wife, it was her smile. She looked at me on our first few dates and her smile was utterly hypnotic. Like, medusa-level hypnotic."
"I thought, this is the most beautiful thing I have ever set eyes on in my life, and like 4 days into going out together I said, 'I think I’m falling in love with you.+"
" She absolutely s**t herself. That was 1993, thirty years ago. Her smile is still as beautiful now as it was then."
- 69-is-my-number
Beatles Songs
"There were two moments. On our second date, he busted out his ukulele and played a couple of Beatles songs to impress the lady (me)."
"But instead of anything classic or romantic, he chose 'Honey Pie' and 'Rocky Raccoon.' Not only totally weird song choices, but also two of my absolute favorites. Really, I knew right then, but a second date is a precarious time to decide to marry someone."
"The super real 100% absolute moment was my 30th birthday, first we were together. He took me up to our favorite hiking trail, and less than ten minutes in, it started just pouring rain. I said I didn't mind pushing through some rain, but it would be okay if he'd rather go back."
"He said we should go the first mile to get to the waterfall. Partway up this trail, there's a wonderful waterfall spot with rocks that practically form a bench under/behind it. When we get to the waterfall, rain still pouring, but now we're protected under the waterfall, he magically produces a bottle of my favorite champagne, two plastic dollar store flutes, and a fancy cupcake with a candle."
"We took a bunch of silly absolutely drowned rat-soaked selfies together. Champagne under the waterfall in the rain. Most romantic thing ever, and the most thoughtful birthday I'd ever had."
"We used those silly plastic champagne flutes again on our wedding day."
- thing_m_bob_esquire
No Green Bell Peppers
"A week or so into dating, we were sitting on my living room floor, discussing our food likes and dislikes. At some point, one of us brought up green bell peppers and we both said, 'God, I hate green bell peppers!' at the same time."
"For the both us, we have pinpointed that stupid little moment as the exact second that both 'knew.' We have been married 25 years this past February."
- youngyeoman
Shared Passions
"We were fostering a stray cat who had had kittens. The kittens all had homes lined up with people we knew. The poor mother cat just had health problem after health problem pop up. We were at the vet with her so many times."
"She wasn't in pain, but with the vet bills and the behavior stuff that comes with health issues like these, I knew she was unadoptable and would need significant care."
"I told her (my then girlfriend) that I had to keep the mother cat, even though we both had special needs animals already, and adding more would delay us moving in together."
"She was like, 'Yeah, of course. I love her.' Like she'd never even considered any other options. She was so kind and loving to that cat, who randomly attacked us and peed on the floor throughout her first year and a half with us. She was as all in as I was every single day."
"Our passions and values are the same, and my partner is still the most compassionate person I know. We still have the kitty too, who we adore."
- Acceptable-CatProf
All That Glitters
"I had recently quit my job and moved to another city where my work prospects didn’t really line up properly."
"We’ve been living together a while and things were getting difficult financially. Mountain of debt, difficulty in paying rent etc."
"One night she says, 'I have this gold bangle that we can sell to get rent for the next five months.'"
"I knew. Right then and there that she is the one."
"We never sold the bangle and I was extra motivated to go out and make something of myself."
"We’re getting married in November."
- wouldnt-u-like-2know
In Sickness and In Health
"Not exactly a 'moment," but within a few weeks of us getting together, I found out my dad was terminally ill. He died about four months later. 32 days after my dad passed, my sister and her children died in a house fire."
"I was a broken, angry, wreck of a human, and I was not in any condition to return the love he gave me. But he stayed. I told him he could go, and I wouldn't blame him for leaving this clusterf**k behind."
"But he stood by me when so many other people would have run. The man gave me something to live for, and he held me close so I could heal. There's no one else like him in the world."
- SuzieQuest
All of these stories were not only heartwarming and sweet, but they are absolutely fodder for the perfect sorts of stories people hope to hear on other people's wedding days.