Parenting was just never going to be my thing. I just never had a yearning for. And that was just based on the basics of parenting.
Now when I hear tales about children and their disturbing behavior, I'm even more appreciative of my decision.
I've watched enough Dateline NBC to spot the red flags of a budding serial killer. No thank you, I already spend a fair share of time dodging adult psychos running around the streets.
I don't to sleep with one eye open because of a three year old.
Redditor u/Jayhawk_00 wanted to hear about the kids that maybe are just a little less perfect and little more creepy by asking:
Parents of Reddit, what is the most disturbing thing your child has done?
Chucky had to based on a real life kid. Don't you think so? Every character ever written has a muse. And it's not always Child's Play. I have seen with my own eyes children who you can sense are slightly... off.
"My 12 year old will occasionally scream while sleeping. It makes your hair stand up when you get woke from a deep sleep. I have also woken up in the middle of the night to see him standing right next to my bed. Sometimes just facing the wall or staring at me. He is always "sleep walking" and I can escort him back to bed. Trouble is, I never know how long he has been up. He never remembers any of it."
"Put a very hot pepper in his mouth. Cry. Wheeze. Cry again. Exclaim that he hates it. Then proceed to do it again. Didn't cry the second time. The hell?!"
"Woke up to my Mom's house mates kid (5 years old?) Sneaking through the house with a 10" chef knife at like 2am. He gave me the knife and I asked him what he was doing. He said he was afraid of "the man who walks around in the yard at night" and said he was out there now."
"I hyped up both my dogs and we searched EVERYWHERE. Yard, shed, barn, under the house, etc. Didn't find anyone. Super worrisome. The next morning I told his mom and she was like "oh yeah, he just does that sometimes. It's like his monster under the bed or whatever." She just put the knives on a shelf he couldn't reach."
"Perhaps not disturbing, but terrifying as a parent. We were on a vacation in Chicago staying at a random Fairfield Inn or something downtown. Our bed was separated by a divider in the room and two of our kids were sleeping in a pull out couch on the other side. Around 3am awoke to sounds of velcro and it sounded like my kid was putting his shoes on (he was)."
"Next thing I know I hear the hotel room door opening. I leaped further than I thought possible across the entire suite and was able to grab him just as the door was about to close and pulled him back into the room. He was sleepwalking, but I shudder to think what might've happened if I wasn't roused by the sound of him putting on shoes."
Puked on the stairs "go back to bed I'll sort it out" Sob "I can't, I was sick in my bed" "OK, well, you can get into mum and dad bed while I sort that out as well" Sob sob "I was sick in there as well."
Yeah, now I'm never even going to babysit. I'm not putting my life on the line by watching little Johnny for the evening while you run out to see a Marvel movie. And drink bad wine.
DYE!Easter Bunny GIF by Omer GalGiphy
"When my daughter was about 4 and it was approaching Easter, she said "I want to kill all the Easter eggs."
"My wife and I were, like, "uh... what?"
"She said "I want to kill all the Easter eggs."
I said "What do you mean?"
"She replied "You know, dip them and make them all different colors."
"I said "You mean DYE the Easter eggs."
"She shrugged and looked at me like "Yeah, duh ya moron."
People Share The Dumbest Purchases They Have Ever Made | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
"Oh no, he's here! Run!"
"Was having a house party a few months ago. My friends came over and brought their kids. My wife got a bouncy house for them to play on. All the adults were inside eating food and chatting. Some of the kids were outside playing on the bouncy house. I realized that at least one adult should be out there with them, so I left the adults and wandered outside."
"As I was getting closer to where the kids were playing, I started hearing some rhythmic chanting coming from their direction. I got suspicious, so I decided to sneak up on them and see what they were doing. Four of the children were holding hands and bouncing in a circle in the middle of the bouncy house chanting "Evil rules! Evil rules! Evil rules!"
"I stood there in amazement for a minute trying to figure out what game they were playing. One of the girls in the group suddenly looked in my direction and screamed "Oh no, he's here! Run!" All the children scattered and ran away. To this day, my son still won't tell me what they were doing."
"3.5 year old threw literal rocks at his helpless newborn sister in her car seat because he was mad that we were leaving the park. Kids do some messed up stuff. She had a couple of small scratches and was crying but nothing serious. Stuff like this happens so quickly that it's unavoidable when you need to do things like go to the bathroom or put a bag in the trunk of the car."
"Young kids usually just really don't understand the consequences of actions like these and it's impossible to foresee every weird impulse they will get to say a preemptive no. Like maybe your sister saw your mom cracking eggs earlier that day and thought the baby's head look like an egg or some other random whatever. Parenting often feels like a series of near misses and choosing the least bad of many not good options."
a demon circle...
"The other day, my 6 year old daughter and I were sitting on a bench and she started drawing shapes in the air with her fingers. I guessed the shapes and we laughed. Then she got serious and drew: a circle, a triangle, and a ???? I laughed and asked what they were and she responded, "it was a circle with a triangle and eye inside... it's a demon circle." Then she laughed maniacally. I was a little creeped out by the randomness, but I love my demon-summoning monster."
Hitchseason 3 thumbs up GIF by PortlandiaGiphy
"My 3 year old stuck her thumb out on the main road as if to hitchhike I was shocked and I asked where she learnt that from, she said she used to do that to get around when she was a big girl. That was creepy well for me anyway."
"I came here in hopes of feeling better about myself and my son (4yrs)... But here we go. My son, for over a year has been afraid of something green in the same spot on the ceiling. He continues to tell me, "shh, don't wake the Grinch." At day care, he has face stomped a kid at nap time, because he took a toy horse from my son on day one at the day care."
"Used a toy stethoscope to choke a kid ( because he wanted the toy) when I tried to explain how it hurt the kid, my son told me, well he didn't say anything. No child, he didn't say anything because he couldn't breathe. Yes, we are in therapy."
"Who told you that?"
"Back at the turn of the century my wife and I were sitting downstairs watching a movie. Our daughter who was about 4 was playing upstairs. We hear her come down stairs and she walks up to the couch and tells us something weird. I don't remember what she said but it made one of us ask "Who told you that?" She replies with "The little boy up in my room." She is an only child and there was no friends visiting."
Flames...scary movie burn GIF by UsGiphy
"I'm not a parent. But when I was younger I set my room on fire and tried to get my grandparents to lie."
A Touch Off...
"I'm thirteen years older than my sister, so I basically functioned as a third parent, and I've always thought she was a touch off. When she was about four or five, she had a phase where she kept tying her toys together. I'd come in a room she had been playing in, and she'd have a string wrapped around a toy horse's neck, then wrapped around a lamp, then wrapped around a doll's neck, then wrapped around a chair leg--and there'd be several strings and ropes tied in this way."
"Literally the entire room would be a web of toys and strings. It looked like a child's version of a SAW movie, and it was a pain in the butt to help her clean up. One day when I was watching her I told her not to do it, she agreed, and then I came back in not too long after and she had somehow done it anyway."
"She was sitting in a chair looking at me indirectly, like she was nervous. I was irritated and asked her why she did it after she said she wouldn't, and she said the most future-serial-killer sentence I have ever heard: "Sometimes I just do things and I don't really understand why I'm doing them."
"My kids all talk in their sleep. One of them (14) can be pretty distressing because it almost always sounds like he's crying. Recently though, for some reason him and his brother (13) just go around saying "Among us" for no reason… constantly. One night last week, the 14 year old and my 6 year old talked in their sleep and just simply said "among us" and nothing else. I guess that's progress though."
"My son used to sleepwalk occasionally when he was little (6-8). One night he came over while his dad and I were sitting on the couch and told us "I dont like the people in the basement. They're too loud." Good thing the couch was brown because someone may have pooped in my pants right then."
"Not a parent. Older cousin who lives with younger cousin. He's a sweetheart and lovely. He was 4 at the time, he's now 5. He said at breakfast, out of the blue, "Today is a good day to go on a murder streak." No one here is allowed to watch that stuff."
"He showed me a drawing of him looking in a mirror and in the reflection a demon was there. He pointed to the demon and said "That's me." He ended up getting a mental evaluation. He's fine, just creepy. I don't have a picture. I can redraw it and post it if you wanna see it."
"My daughter has what I can only assume are nightmares. She doesn't recall them at all, and is still sound asleep when it's happening, but when it started I would hear her little voice getting louder and louder "no... No! Help [mom or dad]" Daddy rolled in hot the first time it happened, I was ready to ventilate someone. She was sound asleep."
"My son 4 yrs. Old loved watching the price is right, this was when Bob Barker was the host, anyway my son would clap, yell with excitement along with the audience. When someone would lose he would be so disappointed for them. Until one day he got so pissed off, I was in another room, he's yelling throw the old man in the dryer. I came out asking what wrong. The lady didn't win the washer and dryer, my son is mad and wants to burn poor Bob in the dryer."
Mr. Howdy?The Exorcist GIF by filmeditorGiphy
"My son makes this funny noise with his voice every once in awhile. When my daughter tries to imitate the noise she sounds like Reagan from "The Exorcist." The creepy part is she does it when she's in her crib, talking herself to sleep at night. 😳"
Demon circles? What is this "The Exorcist?" How much you want to bet the little girl in that movie was in on it with the devil? Now I'll be side eyeing and ready to mace any kid that even sneezes in my direction. Trust no one.
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Kids say the darndest things don't they? They can always be counted on for a cute discovery or childlike astute life lesson. It's a wonderful family moment when kids verbally surprise you and everyone laughs. And then there are times when those little heathens expose you to another side. Say... akin to 'Rosemary's baby?' You never know what children may say, and their words and actions can be a mystery. The type of mystery where you may need to sleep with one eye open.Redditor u/Rene_420 wanted to know if some parents out there had some stories about their kiddies that are opposite of the tales they spin in the car pool lane by asking.... Parents of Reddit what is the most creepiest crap your kid has said or done?
Mommy Firstconfused one more time GIF by Paramount NetworkGiphy
When my youngest daughter was 5 we were all sitting together eating a meal when out of nowhere she announced "if we had no food I think we'd kill mommy first because daddy can cook so he can cook her" and then just carried on eating. It's good that she has a plan I guess.
At grandma's old farmhouse in FL, 4 year old granddaughter looked at the ceiling and asked, "who's that?", grandma replied, "who is who honey?" Daughter, "there's a witch on the ceiling looking at us." Grandma: "well, is she a nice witch or a mean witch, because mean witches aren't allowed in our house." Daughter: "well, she's smiling, but not in a nice way."
She proceeded to watch something on the ceiling track toward the basement door, then went back to her snack.
Edit more context, this is a historic (1910's ish farmhouse in citrus (formerly cattle) country.) I was visiting with my kids and, separate from this, my daughter stopped at the start of the main hallway one day and asked me, pointing to the front door, "daddy, who is that little boy?"
Already freaked out by above I asked what she meant and she abruptly said, "oh never mind he left." I'm not a big ghost believer dude, but I definitely leave 4% of my brainpower open to something I don't understand based on their focus, honest line of questioning and apparent belief in whatever they were or were not seeing. It seemed to surpass the normal "I have an imaginary friend" thinking.
Extra edit for skeptics, this is a house in Fl that actually had a basement, super rare, yes bc of flooding and a low water table, but super creepy basement it has!
"Hi Mommy! I got blood!"
I have twin boys. One of them was prone to nosebleeds when they were little. Real gushers, too. Cured me of any blood aversion I may have had. His nosebleeds got to the point where a black towel was carried in my diaper bag at all times, and I bought him black pillows for his bed because he'd ruin white ones.
One morning when they were about 3, I hear them playing quietly in their room, so I enjoyed a few minutes of extra rest before getting up and starting our day. They were laughing and talking and seemed to be content.
When I got up and went into their room, I found an absolute murder scene. Twin A had gotten an absolute geyser of a nosebleed, and the two of them played with the blood. They were both covered in it, one much more than the other. They were using it to practice writing letters on the wall, and there were dozens of bloody little handprints everywhere.
It was like a freaking horror movie... two little boys covered in blood and giggling, poorly drawn alphabet letters on the wall and dozens of child sized bloody handprints. When they saw me they came running over, all happy, arms outstretched to be picked up and the bloodiest one said "Hi Mommy! I got blood!"
We hate Hernest GIFGiphy
When my son was in 3rd grade I noticed he was in deep thought. I asked him what he was thinking about. "How I could kill my teacher and not get caught?"
In his defense, the teacher was a royal witch.
I'm not Jane
Not a parent myself, but still a good story:
At one point I had to share a bed with my 5y/o niece. Things were pretty normal for a while and I was almost asleep. Then I feel it; a tiny hand stroking the back of my head and fingers being run through my hair. I knew it was her because this was not the first time she'd done this. Kinda freaky, but then again, she had always been a weird kid who liked to touch other people to feel comforted. So, figuring she'd probably gotten scared somehow, I let her keep at it for a long time, thinking she would stop soon enough.
But OH NO. Then she started talking to me. She brushed my hair away from my ear, leaned in so that I could feel her breath on my cheek, and said: "Oh, don't worry auntie Jane, I won't kill you and make all your blood and guts come out." With that, she promptly stopped petting my hair, rolled over and went to sleep. Leaving me wide awake and pondering WTH just happened for the next four hours.
(BTW, Jane is not my real name, it just seemed like a good one to use.)
"daddy came home"
I scared my mom once when I was very young. My father was working night shift so he wasn't home at my bedtime. But when my mom was putting me to bed I suddenly said "daddy came home" and when she told me that daddy is still at work I answered "but I saw daddy's hand by the door." Mom grabbed me out of the bed and checked the whole apartment and of course found no one.
And when she put me to bed I just shrugged it off with "maybe it was just a piggy's hoof toes" and apparently was content with that explanation.
I don't remember this myself because I was very young (under 3yo) but my mom has told me the story and said that she was really freaked out.
My daughter when about 3 years old was looking at herself in a full length mirror, I said to her "that's you there Lucy" she replied to me "but I'm not Lucy, I'm Hannah". We don't know anyone called Hannah and as far as I know she'd never heard that name in her life. She really meant it to and seemed quite confused.
In the EyeThe Color Purple GIFGiphy
Apparently when I was 4/5 yrs old I looked my beloved grandad in the eye and said 'I've just started my life, your's is ending.'
Back in before my Day....
When my sister was 2 years old she would often declare that she was actually 82 years old and what had we done with her big purple hat? It might have just been a game but my mom thinks it was a past life thing.
When I was in high school, my friend had a little brother who I think was maybe 8 at the time. Our friend was listening to a 40s swing song in the car (we all had a phase that I'm lowkey still in) and her little brother, from the backseat, said "I love this song!"
We asked him where he had heard it and he said "From before I was born. Then I fell into that hole."
Was mildly disconcerting.
"the dolly is dead"
My 3 year old was playing with her dolls. Then she just looked at us and said "the dolly is dead." I was stunned. We had never taught her that word and had no idea where she got it from. For a while after everything and everyone was either dead or dying or going to die. She also liked to smash her dolls against doorframes. Repeatedly. Then she would say "oh dear, baby needs a doctor". I think at that point baby was so far past a doctor.
"the funny man"
My brothers two year old twins were in their room giggling and laughing at something a couple weeks ago. When I went in there, they were both staring at a corner of the room, and towards the ceiling. When I asked what was so funny, they both just shrieked with laughter and said "the funny man" and kept on laughing.
Falling Water....breaking tom cruise GIF by Mission ImpossibleGiphy
I'm an uncle. My 3 yr old niece has an imaginary friend and blames her for things she did. The last one was pushing a glass full of water and it smashing on the ground. When I asked her why she did it, she said her 'friend' wanted me to slip and fall. When I asked why? She just said "because she wanted you to."
Had to explain to her that wasn't nice and she got mad saying it wasn't her. I dunno man. Kids are freaking weird.
I'm not the parent but the child but my mum told me that when I was younger, I had an imaginary friend or something who I would talk to at night. He was called Kevin but I couldn't pronounce it so I called him Kebin. And one of the stories my mum said was that she didn't really believe in lying to your kids so didn't want me to believe in Santa. But apparently this Kebin guy literally told me everything. Despite her never telling me anything about it, I just suddenly woke up one day and told my mum all about it then said oh Kebin told me. I'm sure there's more stories about Kebin. I was a strange kid.
My daughter likes to come into our room at night, its fairly common, and normally she just crawls into bed with us and I don't even notice.
But one night I wake up. And she's just standing right next to my head staring directly into my eyes, she smiled and said oh mama, you're awake. Scared the crap out of me.
3 is a rough age....
Once when my son was around 3, he walked up to me and asked if I remember when we were running through the woods being chased, and then we fought with some other people and wore their skins after. 😳 At that point, he was only watching Blues Clues and Bob the Builder. No idea where that came from. He said it so matter of fact. That's what made it creepy!
Where is HE?
Not a parent, but I still think about the time I was coloring with my niece and she looked at me and said, "When I was a ghost, God was not my friend," then resumed coloring. I asked her what he was. "He wasn't there."
She was around 4 at the time. Maybe she heard it from the TV or something, but it still weirded me out a bit.
My Cousin once said when she saw her father go for a cigarette: "Dad, do you want to die?"
I was playing in a sandbox when I was too li'l to remember this incident. Apparently I stopped, looked at Mom, & calmly stated "The earth is in the hands of the devil." Matter-of-fact, like your kid. Then I went back to playing.
We are not a religious family. Once in a blue moon we went to church to appease my grandparents, but they were Methodist & there was no talk of fire & brimstone in that place because Methodists are fairly chill as far as I can tell.
I don't know where I learned the word 'devil'.
Santa is Scared
Ok I'm not a parent, and this is some random kid, but this is the creepiest thing I have ever heard a kid do.
My sister worked for a mall santa as an elf. So one day she has this little boy come up and sit on santa's lap. Santa asked the boy what he wants for Christmas. The little boy responded that he wants Santa's head in a sack and Santa's arms and legs nailed to his wall.
Santa had to take a break and go out for some fresh air after that one.
Run Auntie....Originals Coffin GIF by blackbearGiphy
I'm not a parent, but apparently my little cousin once pointed at the coffin during a funeral and told my aunt, "Aren't you glad you're still young?"
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Kids are weird. Well, truthfully, all people are weird. So it's good to notice the signs when we're young. Sometimes kids say crazy things and often they're a bit off kilter. As a parent, you have to watch for the signs, we have live amongst these people.
Redditor u/finalgumgum wanted parents out there to admit difficult truths about child rearing by asking..... Parents of Reddit, what is the creepiest thing your kid(s) has ever said or done?
In Your Eyes.Giphy
I overheard a girl tell her mom, "Her eyes are pretty," referring to the new daycare employee, "I wanna wear them on my charm bracelet." Lokis_thor-obing_ass
My cousin who is three, he keeps referring to any woman he sees as "tasty." We would be watching a movie and he would point out a woman and says "she is tasty." What he means is that she is beautiful. I can't even walk with him outside because I am afraid he might point out to some woman and say that she is tasty. SubSahranCamelRider
Off with your head!
I was napping on the couch and my then three year old was standing there with a toy, felt saw. I woke up to him saying "I'm going to saw mommy's head off!!" Uhhhh....nope. 1982wasawesome
We All Die.
On a long drive through central/western Pennsylvania (all farms & hills or forests & low mountains), my 5yo out of nowhere says, "this will look really cool as a wasteland. you know, after everyone dies."
As much as we asked, he didn't elaborate on that.
- It was between Williamsport & Wellsboro on Rt 15 when he said it
- the "h" was from another sentence that was accidentally deleted. He caught us off guard because the car was dead quiet, between songs and we thought he was on his tablet. It really creeped us out. Akummu
I See Her.Giphy
Alone with my 4 year old midwestern daughter, when she randomly whispers, "Ope... she's here." While staring out a dark window.
Edit: For people wondering, when said correctly, it rhymes with nope, dope, rope, and don't forget pope.
The Deepest Cut.
My 4-year-old likes to play this make-believe game where she is having a baby and needs it "cut out" of her (we have never explained to her what a C-section is). Then the baby always has some sort of deformity, like no eyes or arms or something, and she needs to try again to have a better baby and she is just going to throw the bad one out.
My wife and I have refused to play this game with her once we noticed the pattern, but now she is drafting her younger sister into it and they love it. I'm torn between making them stop or just being happy they're playing so nicely together. PorkchopSquats
My niece and nephew were 13 and 15 at the time and we were watching them for my brother in law while he was out of town. At about 3am i get shaken and awake to two visibly upset teens who start sobbing about a dead woman trying to get in my nieces bedroom window. This jolts my husband out of bed in a hurry, he grabs his handgun and tells me to stay with the kids. They live in a mobile home that sits on risers, so this window is roughly 9 feet at its base.
He goes down the hallway and i hear him shout, "WHAT THE F*K?!" and run back to the front door and outside. Now the niece and nephew are losing their minds, not wanting their uncle getting hurt so i call the cops and walk to the door to see whats going on.
The dead woman was in fact a woman hopped out of her mind on who-knows-what, naked, and she did very much look like a corpse. She had been standing on the roof of my truck, trying to see in the windows. OnceUponWTF
Who's That Girl?
So, my son and I stood watching his then 2 yr old daughter as she stood looking, laughing, and chatting away in toddler jibberish at... nothing... in a completely empty hallway. We just watched her and looked at each other with a WTF look on our faces.
Same granddaughter, some years later, still sleeps with me when she visits because "that girl" scares her. That's all she'll say because evidently the girl told her not to tell anyone about her. TJC528
Agony of Defeat.
When we first moved into our new house, our four-year-old refused to go upstairs. When asked why, he replied "I don't want the things upstairs to defeat me!"
I get it, little man. I don't want the things upstairs to defeat me either. Kindredbond
The Man Outside.Giphy
My husband is a farmer. One night he asked me to pick him up after working ground and it was pretty late, around 10 o'clock. So I loaded our two girls up-then 4 & 2 and headed to the field.
We get to the field and C is finishing up his last round so we had to wait for a minute. I rolled the windows down in the van and shut the engine off. After a few minutes my two year old says, "Mommy, who dat man outside?" I said, "I don't see a man, is your ken doll on the floor?" my 4 year old then piped up, "He's right outside your door and staring at you. He's scary. He has blood on his face."
That's when I turned the key, rolled the windows up, locked the doors and called my husband and told him to hurry the hell up because the girls are terrified and there's apparently a scary man outside my door that I can't see but both girls are describing him and what he's doing.
Thankfully C was done and heading up to the van at that moment and we left. My girls are now 5 and 7 and they both still remember that man and refuse to go to that particular field. I have to ask my MIL to watch them when I need to pick their daddy up from there. schuser