People Share The Most 'WTF' Thing Their Parents Have Ever Said
"Reddit user TheGasMove asked: 'What has a parent said to you that made you go wtf?'"
Just because someone is an adult or a parent doesn't mean crazy things can't fall out of their mouths every so often.
Sometimes parents say the darndest things.
That's why we should always have a pen or a recording device at the ready.
I suggest the phone.
Just wear fitted tees with pockets and hit record.
You have know idea how much having receipts will pay off mentally later.
Redditor TheGasMove wanted to hear about what things parents have said to their kids that left kids SHOOKETH, so they asked:
"What has a parent said to you that made you go WTF?"
The amount of things my mother has said to me that has left me gobsmacked is endless.
I should've kept a journal.
Comedy gold.
The Proof
Jennifer Lawrence Reaction GIF Giphy"After I told my mother that I didn't open up to her or my dad because I didn't trust them with my emotions, she started screaming that she hated me. Like, girl, this is exactly why I don't tell you things 😂."
LandPiranha63
Lessons Learned
"My mom told me that women pooped babies out of their butt. I believed this until I was 12 or 13. Boy, I got laughed at when I used this as my answer when asked in Sex Ed."
Eastern-Operation275
"I (27 F) have divorced parents and my mom always taught me the proper anatomy for things and that it's nothing shameful. On the other end, one day when I was at my dad's, a stray cat gave birth on his porch, and my stepsisters (same age) told my half-sister that it was coming out of the cat's butt, and I was like dude what? I questioned them, and they gave me scornful looks like I just said something offensive. LOL."
SpaceTimeBurrito
SURPRISE!!!
"A few months ago I had gone to do a surprise visit to my grandparents on my dad’s side. While I was driving up their property I saw them walking in their groceries and witnessed seeing my dad for the first time. I had never met my dad in my life but knew my grandparents."
"I walked up and greeted my grandmother and she ushered me over to talk to my father. As I went to greet him this dude threw his hood on and jumped in his truck and locked the doors and said no words to me. Never in my life have I witnessed a grown man run away like that."
Dabtoker3000
Facts...
"My father once told me that between my brother and I, I was his favorite. This caught me off guard because I thought parents weren’t supposed to have favorites."
fun_Dip_fan
"My dad once told me I’m not his favorite. So I told him he’s not my favorite either. Proceeded to get angry."
Honest_Math_7760
"It's problematic to share with your kids that you have a favorite."
LackEfficient7867
Bald Choices
Regret No GIF by Outside TV Giphy"I shaved my head at 21 and kept that hairstyle for the last 28 years. My dad walked into my room when I was 26 and asked me for a comb! He looked at me, thought about it for a second, and laughed. RIP dad. I miss you."
Content-Damage8406
It's my hair. I'll do what I want to.
That's the kid's motto.
Adults not so much.
At least that was my experience.
Why Bother?
Ytho GIF Giphy"When I called my mother to find out a good time of year to visit her she said, 'What for?'"
Space_T0ilet
Sure Papa Joe!
"Wasn’t my parents but my Grandpa."
“'Josh can you take me to see Marge?' Marge was his long-time girlfriend who had Alzheimer’s. My GP was in his 70s at the time and we took away his car because he was a dangerous man behind the wheel, to say the least. 'Sure Papa Joe!' That or PJoe was his nickname."
"Drive him to the place Marge was cared for at. Stop at the front and ask 'How long until I come back?' He replied 'Give me an hour. That should be long enough for us to have sex.' I start crying laughing and he leaves with a giant smirk. I could never look at him again without thinking or saying 'Almost 80 and still getting after it, WTF!"
ackbosh
The Joker
"Oof. I hadn’t talked to my dad in 15 years. I decided to reach out (for certain reasons and not to restart a relationship). He asked if he could ask me about my life. I let him. I told him, among other things, I was in a wonderful relationship with a terrific gal."
“'Is this a real relationship or like the girlfriends I had when I was with your mother.'”
"I was equally glad I disowned him 15 years ago, disappointed a man and a father would speak like that to his estranged son, and angry that he was the father I was born to. He is just one big joke to me."
Silence-brothers
Chop Chop
Steve Harvey Reaction GIF Giphy"I would often visit the kitchen to watch how my mother cooks. One day when my father saw me coming out of the kitchen, he said 'You keep visiting the kitchen, your penis and testicles are gonna fall off. That’s how girls are made.” Context: I was 7 when he said that to me and we are a Korean family."
DeepSleepr
Learning to cook, is a great survival skill.
More dads need to get onboard with that.
People Break Down Which Words Or Phrases Are Red Flags When Meeting Someone
Reddit user theevilempire asked: 'What words/phrases do you hear someone say and immediately know you’re probably not going to like the person?'
First impressions can be misleading, to the point of being dangerous.
After all, as Jane Austen taught us in Pride and Prejudice (whose original title was, in fact, First Impressions) the person who ends up being the love of your life might seem utterly loathsome upon a first meeting.
Even so, it's hard not to snap to judgment when meeting someone for the first time, particularly based on what they say.
Be it a difference in political or religious beliefs, or simply something shockingly rude or ignorant, all it can take is a few words or idioms to make us never want to see or hear from someone ever again.
"What words/phrases do you hear someone say and immediately know you’re probably not going to like the person?"
Is It Even Love?
"'Tough love' often seems to be used as an excuse to be a dick. I get it when it's like an intervention, but most times I've personally heard it this was just people who wanted to start sh*t." -Reddit
That Could Be ONE Reason...
“'People don’t like me because I tell it like it is'.”- MassiveProductions
Taking Others Down Is No Way To Pick Yourself Up...
"If a person humiliates others for the sake of boosting his own ego, I immediately stop communicating with that person."- AnastasiaFrid
mean girls ugh GIFGiphyOr Just Brutal?
“I’m brutally honest”- -not-pennys-boat-
And That's A Problem Because...?
“You’re so quiet”- WearyPigeon
Not Everyone Likes Their Family...
"'We're a family here' in a work setting."
"Mother f*cker you just laid off 'cousin' Bill."- recoil669
Hbo Are We Doing This GIF by SuccessionHBOGiphyIf You Think It Might Cause Offense, Then Maybe Don't Say It?
“'No offense, but…', just before saying the most offensive thing you’ve heard in your life."- lisathethrowaway
A Disability Should Never Be A Punch
“'I’m so bipolar' to explain why they are indecisive or to play off poor life choices."
"Or just to say to sound quirky."
"Really hate that."
"I’m bipolar and rarely tell anyone."- PerplexedPoppy
Then Don't Cause Any!!!
"'I hate drama'."
"I have never heard someone say this, unsolicited, and not been exhausted with their shenanigans within a day."- Spodson
Drama Reaction GIF by MOODMANGiphyDefinitely Not Something To Brag About...
"Describes himself as an Alpha Male."
"Tells you implausible stories about how tough he is/how many women he's 'Banged'."
"Yeah, me and you gonna fall out soon buddy."- Johhnymaddog316
Should I?
"'Do you know who I am?'"- Brave_D*ck
A Handshake Is Always The Best Place To Start...
"Where’s my huuuuug?"
"Immediately no."- xPunkdaddy
Come Austin Powers GIFGiphyNever A Good Sign If They Always Need To Declare Who They Are...
"As an empath --"- paramidia
"Good vibes only and 'I’m such an empath'."- Blacklotusispunk
Where To Even Begin...?
"'Why didn't they just take the eagles to Mordor?'"- Calligaster
lord of the rings no GIFGiphyThere's a reason our parents told us to choose our words carefully.
Sometimes the things people say can cause more pain and harm than physical violence of any kind.
One would think we're in a place in time where all conversations should be easy.
But that is not the case.
So much is still too "taboo" to be truthful about.
It is so frustrating.
There is so much to discuss.
Being shy is understandable, but it's something that we can all get over.
Redditor No_One_Special34 wanted to breakdown some barriers with a few simple conversations, so they asked:
"What is a taboo subject that should be talked about more?"
Speak Up
"Child/infant death. When my daughter died a bunch of people just... stopped talking to me altogether."
BaronMatfei
"I'm sorry to hear about your child."
"A 7-year-old was hit by a truck last week near my son's kg. I've never met the boy but I have had nightmares about it. I can't imagine what the parents are going thru right now. I can't imagine what you are going through."
ikalwewe
"This happened to my mom when my brother died. Nobody knew what to say so few people said anything, and then it was treated like it didn’t happen."
myspiritedconfusion
The Aging Process
"Nursing homes."
Limp_Distribution
"We are a disgustingly ageist society. No wonder people pay BILLIONS for plastic surgery, hair color, and fitness, etc to stay relevant and not be thought of as useless or 'other.' It’s so very hateful. I think our society fears old age and death. It’s a f**king pathos."
Playful-Reflection12
"THANK YOU! I'm a 20-year paramedic. One of the things that I really hoped COVID would shed a light on is the absolutely abhorrent treatment of our elderly and infirmed. The 'treatment' in far too many nursing homes is negligent to a criminal level."
MedicSBK
That's Easy...
"Household budgets and finance - how much your parents make, how much is the mortgage, car insurance, car payment, and so on."
davmoha
"That's easy. House, two cars, three kids, stay-at-home wife, pets, college tuition for everyone in the bank, a summer cottage home by the lake, and a hobby like golf should all do if you're a hardworking drug dealer nowadays."
aaar129
"Agreed! We have gone into detail about our finances with our kids. We have them pick jobs on LinkedIn and a home on Zillow and budget so expenses and have them watch as they realize they can't afford expensive stuff on a crap salary. It's been really great."
HoidWit
Look for the Signs...
"Familial abuse."
"Many people tend to assume that abusive people look creepy/scary and behave badly in general, but they don't seem to get that anyone can be abusive, regardless of appearance or demeanor. An abusive person can easily be charming, attractive, funny, witty, etc."
"Just because you think someone has a few positive qualities does not mean they're incapable of abuse."
"If someone's child 'seems' happy and well behaved, it does not mean that they are automatically OK or safe. There are many signs of abuse, and I wish that more people educated themselves on this issue. We can literally save lives by doing so."
ArtisanalMagi
The Girl Truth
"Girls need to know everything there is to know about menstruation before they experience it. At my school we were only given a quick 'every month you will bleed out your vagina, you can use pads or tampons to absorb it.' Nothing about any of the other mental or physical effects, nothing about how to deal with them, and nothing else reassuring."
IJustpeedyourpants
Why are girls not taught more sooner?
Like what year are we living in?
The End
"Death."
fallen-summer
"Number one for me, especially out-of-order deaths (young deaths). My husband died when I was 33 and he was 38. It's been almost 3 years and people still struggle with how to talk to me. We need to talk about death more as a society."
veganbettie
Only Legal One
"Alcoholism, especially in older generations."
Kaverim
"The biggest drug in the world, the most dangerous, only legal one. Alcohol has been disguised to make society believe it isn't even a drug. Now we're all hooked and can't go a week without a drink, funny because the cravings come back within a week."
Unlucky_Ducky23
"I quit drinking 18 months ago and it kinda sucks because if you want to go meet new ppl or go on a date it usually involves alcohol."
mspote
She's 75
"Comprehensive sex ed. My mother never had sex ed and was convinced that vaginal discharge wasn't normal and that your crotch didn't sweat."
Nay_nay267
"My mother had a condition that requires her to use a catheter. She was shocked to learn that she doesn't urinate from her vagina, and that the opening to her urethra is actually slightly above it. She's 75. I'm a dude, and I've known that since I was 14."
UniversalHammer71
"She was raised Catholic, and her mother taught her nothing. Not even what her period was. She was convinced she was dying."
Nay_nay267
Follow the Money
"Financial debt. In my line of work, I see people's bank accounts and credit reports every day and it is very rare that someone has zero debt. Excluding mortgages (which is a given) the vast majority have car finance, personal loans, and credit card balances. Mostly it's manageable, credit is mostly a convenience for which a person pays interest."
"But debt can also destroy a person. It can keep you up at night feeling like you're literally suffocating. It can lead to suicide. I know because I was close at one point. I don't know if I would have actually gone through with it but I had planned it to the point of measuring rope from the timbers in my attic to my neck and to ensure my feet wouldn't touch the ground."
"If you are in debt you are not alone, you're in the majority. If it's a struggle, notify the lenders/creditors; they're legally obligated to offer options to help you. It might reduce your credit score a bit but please don't ever reduce your life instead."
"Life is precious and money isn't. If you're struggling financially please speak to someone. There is no shame in it, pretty much everyone is struggling financially so someone will understand but please don't let a credit card balance be the reason your life ends."
kitjen
Holy Crap!
"Pooping and poop problems. Colon cancer is so common and relatively treatable, but like all cancers, it's so much better to catch it early - yet so many people are too embarrassed to talk about poop problems, and they don't bring it up with their doctor until it's too late."
"I have ulcerative colitis and make sure all my friends know I'm totally comfortable talking about poop if they ever have any questions about whether something happening to them is normal or concerning."
dorunrun
Speak more. Speak louder. We've all been quiet too long.
The most surefire way of hurting someone is not by physically attacking them but rather by using words.
Indeed, saying something to someone you know will deliberately hurt them will leave a far more lasting impact than any scar or wound.
Petty name-calling or completely false accusations are fairly easily brushed off.
Then there are the things people say to others which can simply never be forgotten, and no amount of forgiveness will ever make them forget.
Words that are so harmful, or information so traumatizing, that the only way to describe it is "f*cked up".
"What was the most f*cked up thing someone said to you?"
Love Is Stronger Than Blood
"I've shared this one before."
"I was adopted when I was three."
"My mother has always been very supportive and a wonderful person, but my dad had a drinking problem and overall was a bit of a sh*tty person."
"When my mom got pregnant, I was 7, and I remember my dad telling me he was so excited to 'finally have his own and first son'."
"There was always favoritism, and in the current day, he and I don't even talk."
"I love my brother to death and hold no ill will, but our father should have been better."- CT3993
Someone Will Always Remember
"My mom told me that she wishes I was never born."
"I wasn't planned but they always told me I was a 'surprise'."
"One day when my mom drank a little more than usual, I told her I love her and she looked me in the eye and said 'I don't love you, f*ck I wish you were never born'."
"I haven't stopped thinking about that, it was just us two in the room when it happened and she doesn't remember it."
"It scared me and I don't think I will forget it."- Commercial_Sea_8817
People Grieve In Their Own Time
"My husband died suddenly when I was 35."
"There's a picture of me at the visitation standing in front of his urn with my brother's arm around my shoulders while I cried."
"My friend said 'I love that picture of your brother supporting you'."
"I said 'Yeah'."
"That's when he told me to suck it up and stop crying."- DevonHexe
All Children Want Is Their Parent's Support
"'I don't love you, or care about you. I only love your sister'."
"Honorable mentions: "
"'I hope you never make it into college'."
"'I hope you have to work a grueling schedule for the rest of your life'."
"Thanks dad."- lcssa
Apparently, So Could Her Husband...
"I had a very complicated pregnancy."
"I found out at 4 months (crazy, I know)."
"I was extremely high risk, and my FIL was asking my husband what he'd do if it he had to choose me or the baby."
"Before hubby could answer, my MIL pipes up with 'Well, if it's her or the baby save the baby you can find a better mother'."
"I WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE."
"Husband lost it."- NickiP5150
Never Pick Yourself Up By Taking Others Down
"To me and my wife."
"We went over for Christmas 10 years ago, my dad was so drunk that they couldn’t stand up."
"He asked if he could hold our six month old child to which we said no."
"My mom who was not as drunk walked over about two minutes later and asked to hold the baby."
"We said okay to that and she immediately turned around and handed our baby to my overly drunk dad."
"A week later we get together with just us and them and tell them if they drink like that around our kids again, we won’t be coming to family events."
"My mom looked straight at my wife and said 'all the problems in this family are because of you'.”
"My wife being taken by surprise by that stuttered her next words and before she could get it out, my mom did that 'to-to-today' mock."
"Needless to say we got up and walked out of their house."- Myworkaccountbrah
So Good To Know They Had Their Support
"I was basically bedridden after an accident left me in constant, debilitating pain."
"My ex screamed in my face to 'just die already'."
"But apparently I'm remembering it wrong and it wasn't that big of a deal."- moxley-me
No Need To Hold Her Feelings Back
"My mom married my stepdad when I was four and we moved out to my step-grandmother's ranch to work it."
"When I was seven, I was told to help my nine year old cousin learn about what to do."
"He whined and b*tched about everything he has to do the entire time."
"I told my stepdad's mother about him 'not being too excited' about it."
"Well, he's the oldest, so this ranch will be his someday," She'd said.
"I'm seven. I don't know how sh*t works, so I ask, 'So I'll be working for Brad here someday?'"
"'No. You're going to be a priest. There's no other use for bastard children,' Was her answer."- wjescott
Children Can Be Cruelest Of All
"In middle school, I was told by a girl named Aubrey that I was a 2/10 and she audibly gagged at me."
"Well guess who’s a 2/10 now, 15 years later?"
"Still me, but f*ck you Aubrey."- itsTonic_
Not Everyone is Meant To Be A Parent
"'My life would have been so much better if you had just died too'."
"My twin died at birth."
"It may be true, but no kid needs to hear that."- bonjelascott
"My dad's speech at my mom's funeral:"
” <mom> and <son> had a close relationship, I’d have preferred to have a daughter'.“
"Not sure how that's relevant for the occasion but ok."
"Either that or the: 'Your mom wanted you, not me'.“
"Many years before that."- Remk0h
Placing Blame Will Never Change Anything
‘"It’s your fault your dad died’ - my mother."
"He had a heart attack on my 14th birthday, I was at school when he had the first one, asleep at night when he had the second that killed him."
"I didn’t get to see him as he told me over the phone to enjoy my birthday."
"That was our last contact."
"I cancelled my plans anyway and stayed at home waiting for my mom and sister to come back from the hospital."
"I still carry that guilt."
"Later, my ex’s mom. ‘It’s no wonder he died having to deal with you as a daughter’ sigh."- FrozenBluebell
Some Things Are Out Of Everyone's Control
"'It shouldn't have been your dad'."
"'It should've been you'."
"'It should've been you'."
"Said repeatedly by my mother, both drunk and sober, after my father's death."
"I think I looked too much like him for her."- berripluscream
Just Plain Cruel
"My ex-husband while we were still married:"
"'I don't find you sexually attractive anymore'."
"I was eight months pregnant with our second child."
"We were in the middle of making love."
'My ex-husband again: Fast forward a year."
"I am still nursing my baby girl when he tells me,
"'Lose weight or I want a divorce'."
"I am 5'5" and weighed 135 lbs when he said that to me, which is exactly ten pounds more than I weighed on our wedding day."- mom_with_an_attitude
They say actions speak louder than words.
But some words leave a much more lasting scar.
Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comments.
Not everything has to be spelled out for people.
You may be at a function where the issue at hand isn't appropriate to address, or you're among acquaintances–one of whom is about to have a surprise birthday party planned for them.
Although there are ways to convey something in a surreptitious way that is understandable, not everyone has to capacity to clue in on these types of covert discussions. But when it comes to people subtly expressing amorous intentions, it doesn't always land.
Case in point, these are some of the hilarious results after Redditor Bholenaught asked:
"Girls, what was the most obvious hint you dropped, and the guy just didn't get it?"
When it comes to the language of love, some people are clueless.
Trying To Nail The Cop
"We were playing Life and he was the police officer. The rule is, if you spin a 10, he gets your 'speeding fines.' I literally pulled open my button down and exposed my breasts and said 'what can I do to get out of paying this.'”
"He said, 'ma’am. I am an officer of the law.”
"A couple of days of flirting and sexual innuendo later I literally had to spell out that I was trying to sleep with him. We’ve been together 6 years now."
– othermegan
The Bed Was Ready
"I'm the guy in this situation, but I couldn't help not sharing this story:"
"In college, this girl I was really into asked if I wanted to hangout at my dorm and drink and watch Netflix."
"She came over and we were watching and drinking on the couch in the livingroom, per my suggestion. Things are going good, and about an hour into it she says 'Ooh, lemme see your room', so we go to my room."
"She takes her shoes and socks off and immediately sprawls herself out on my bed and says 'Oh my god, your bed is SO comfortable!' I responded with 'We live in the same building, it's the same bed as yours.'"
"She left about 10 minutes later."
– anon
Mixed Signals
"He told me my hair looked nice. I said, 'bet it would look nicer with your hands in it.' He said, in a very confused tone, '...you want me to style your hair?'"
– CaptPizza
A Too Perfect Gentleman
"When my boyfriend and I had just started dating we were laying down watching a movie, but this was a small bed and he was being respectful and giving me space. I kept wiggling backwards so I could get closer to him and he kept inching backwards too, since he thought I was just trying to get comfortable and he was in the way. He ended up sitting in a chair next to the bed."
"Three years later we are still together, and I still think it's pretty funny. He told me that when he was in the chair he purposefully left his hand next to me in case I wanted to hold it, but I guess I missed that sign too. ( He didn't get out of the bed because he was uncomfortable, he truly thought he was taking up too much space and didn't realize I was trying to cuddle)."
– deerpajamapants
People literally can't identify a love signal even if it hits them in the face.
All About Gaming
"I threw my panties at him and he kept explaining God of War lore."
– cattoepicker
A Hypothetical
"After chatting for hours on top of a mountain from sunset until like 2am, sharing a blanket, me leaning my head on his shoulder, telling him he’s attractive, etc. he turns to me and says ‘how do you tell if a girl is into you?’"
– frapp-my-ccino
Sometimes, things just don't work out as planned.
The 180
"I'm a guy but I once had an experience where I took the hint but still got rejected. A girl had asked me if I lost my virginity yet (we were in high school). When I said I hadn't, she said that I could practise on her whenever I want, mind you we walking home after school because we lived close. I try to act on this hint when we get to her house and she said she was only joking and doesn't want it to be weird with us as friends."
– Wassabiman117
Wasted Time
"Before we started dating, I told my current boyfriend 'I love you' and he said 'awe I love you too you're such a good friend'. The whole time we thought we were both friend zoning each other. Wasted half a year going in circles smh."
– jjdanielle511
Sharing a shower with romantic intention was a tactic these guys never saw coming.
After Thought
"Guy here. Was invited back to study by one of the girls in my class at her apartment. We’re about half hr in and she says she might take a shower. I’m like ok - kinda random - but ok. Anyway she starts telling me the door to the shower is broken so DON’T come in. Says it three or four more times. Again, I’m like ok - weird she’s said that multiple times - but ok. Hr later the shower is still running. I can hear her singing and humming away so I know she’s ok and hasn’t drowned. Thinking gee that’s a long shower though. Water goes off and she comes out dressed and says you didn’t come in? I’m confused as I’m like WTF she told me not to... She sits back down, clearly distracted and not wanting to study. We wrap up after 5 mins. Drive home. Mate asks me how study was about a week later and the situation - which I hadn’t given a single brain cell of thought to since - I explain to him. As I’m saying it out loud the penny drops as to what a big f'khead I am."
– Moves_like_Norris
Hopes Down The Drain
"I asked a guy on a festival to come take a shower with me. He didn't get it. He just repeated there was only one free shower and I was like 'well they are big I'm sure it's fine' and he just looked confused and told me I could go first. We became close friends since that happened about 2 years ago and this summer I spoke to him about it and he really had no idea. He did the biggest facepalm I've ever seen."
– JenJMLC
When I was closeted in high school, I've had a number of flirtatious female classmates making every possible move to indicate it was okay for me to initiate something.
I wasn't an idiot.
Unlike many guys on this thread, I knew very well what these girls were up to, but I feigned ignorance because I was so confused about my sexuality, yet, I didn't want to lead them on either.
I just hope they remember, it's nothing personal.