People Share The Things They Learned Embarrassingly Late In Life
There is so much to learn in the world, it's impossible for one person to know absolutely everything there is to know.
But there are certain things, like common phrases and idioms, that everyone seems to use that might be a little embarrassing to not understand until later in life.
Redditor Curious-2577 asked:
"What's something you learned 'embarrassingly late' in life?"
Addictive Personality
"My sister was in her fifties when she found out the meaning of, 'You have an addictive personality.'"
"She thought after all these years of therapy that it meant that people were addicted to her personality."
"We laughed hysterically when we talked about this (in a very sad way)."
- casper02127
Horse Toes
"I thought that horses had toes until I was 22. I thought the hoof was a 'horseshoe' and the toes were tucked inside."
"How did I learn how wrong I was, you ask?"
"I was walking past a cavalry museum and saw a horse statue and loudly remarked, 'It must hurt so bad when they fold a horse’s toes to put them into the shoe!'"
"Dozens of horse enthusiasts turned and looked at me with wild bewilderment in their eyes."
- BronNatsPulisic
Referencing Flowers
"The saying is, in fact, 'Nip it in the bud' and not 'Nip it in the butt.'"
- too_sharp
Pastures New
"A few months ago, two of my colleagues both handed in their notice at around the same time."
"I kept reading/hearing the sentence, 'They’re both moving on to pastures new’ being thrown about the office in the weeks leading up to them leaving, and I hadn’t heard this phrase before and thought that was the name of the rival company that they were going to, like, 'Pastures New.'"
"I thought it was weird that nobody was talking about how they were both leaving for the same company."
"I was in the car with one of the two people who were leaving and said, 'So where is it that you and X are going to be working? Is it...’"
"And just before I could embarrass myself and say ‘Pastures New,' they interrupted me and said they’re not going to the same place and asked me where I had heard that."
"I think at that moment, I realized I was stupid and didn’t mention it again."
- WorriedSoft
Mario Brothers
"I think I was in college when I realized that Mario and Luigi are plumbers. I thought they just went and up down these tubes just because that was the theme of the game."
- dontbemystalker
Bonsai Trees
"That Bonsai are not a species of tree, but a way to grow them. Any tree can be a bonsai."
- ixent
Houston, We Have a Problem
"Houston is not the name of the guy astronauts talk to."
- vienna_versailles
Cowboy Beans
"I learned that pork and beans are not called 'cowboy beans.' I was 18 and asked a grocery store clerk to help me find the 'cowboy beans.'"
"We were looking everywhere and I was getting frustrated because I know that every store carries these beans. After a while, I picked up a pork and beans can with a picture and said, 'See, they look just like this!'"
"He said, 'You mean pork and beans?'"
"Then I realized that my mom called them that so that I would eat them."
"The look of disappointment from that grocery store clerk haunts me to this day."
- whyunoletmepost
The Pulitzer
"Let me tell you about how I thought you were awarded a 'Pullet Surprise.'"
- BendyBrains
Rum and Coke
"Not too late in life, but I thought my parents were making 'Roman Cokes' until I went to college."
"Which, I think is a much better name for the drink (Rum and Coke) anyway."
- Th3seViolentDelights
Oh No, Not Acoma!
"That a coma was 'A' coma. Until I was probably 19 or so, I thought it was 'acoma.'"
"I thought you fell into acoma."
- FightWithBrickWalls
It Must Have Been a One-Way Trip
"My parents were divorced the whole time and my mom was not, in fact, taking a vacation, lmao (laughing my a** off)."
- artemus_who
Multitasking
"I live near the Hospital for Joint Diseases… when I was a kid, I thought was a special hospital for people who had two or more different diseases at the same time."
- Baffhy_Duck
Ore-Ida Fries
"Moving cross-country, driving east to west, and crossing from Idaho to Oregon, I noticed huge fields with signs for the Ore-Ida Potato company."
"So I was in my early 20s when I figured out Ore-Ida wasn’t just a brand name but was because their potatoes came from Oregon and Idaho."
- Deadhawk142
Kid Logic
"When I was really young, my sister told me she threw her guts up. So I was really afraid of vomiting my entire insides up for years."
- Presitigious_Sweet_50
Some of these really had us laughing as we realized the revelations some of these Redditors were having.
But when we're really honest with ourselves, we probably didn't figure out some of these until later, too.
With one exception, there are no such things as dumb questions.
If an answer was already mentioned within a discussion and you ask a question, that's on you for not being present in a conversation.
We've all been there, and all is forgiven.
But unlike dumb questions, dumb ideas should never be dismissed as useless.
Because if history has taught us anything, it's the fact that there are no such things as dumb ideas–only wasted opportunities.
Curious to explore this notion, Redditor Stenik0522 asked:
"What is the dumbest idea you have ever had that actually worked?"
Some experiments really pay off.
Successful Fraud
"In my freshman year of college, my grades were really not great. And my parents were really strict about getting good grades. When my dad asked to see my grades, I panicked and did the inspect command on the computer where you can change type faces on the screen to read different words and letters. I changed all of my sh**ty grades to good grades. My dad was so happy that I did 'good' my first year of school. He asked me to print my results. I did, and turns out he had to send them to our car insurance company for a 'good student discount'. Ultimately, I committed insurance fraud by accident. But I got the discount."
– DreamRader
Vision Protector
"Wearing a motorcycle helmet while snowblowing. I did it because i missed riding, it kept my face warm and when snow would fly back at me the visor would protect me"
– Fortknoxgaming
Makeshift ID
"I forgot to bring a resume to a job interview, but I had an index card in my bag. I cut the index card in half and wrote my name, my contact info, and 'creative problem solver' in my best handwriting, and gave a copy of my 'business card' to both the interviewers."
"I got the job."
– kayification
Tossing Jewelry
"Not my idea but my mom's. I dropped one of my earrings and couldn't find it so she threw my other earring on the floor and it happened to land next to the first one."
– linguinenoodles
Redditors reflect on a younger time when they could've given themselves a pat on the back.
Retro Appreciation
"When I was like 7 years old I was playing in my back garden with those incredibly bouncy little balls you got, just bouncing them high off the house and letting them bounce randomly before trying to catch them, as you did."
"One time I went for this huge throw off the wall and it bounced crazily off various surfaces so fast I completely lost track of it. So my 7 year old logic was to stand back in the same place and throw another ball the same way. I watched it bounce this way and that about 10 times before finally hitting a plant and coming to a rest in a flower bed. I went over to pull back the foliage and sure enough there were both balls literally lying touching each other in the mud."
"At the time I was like 'yep, makes sense...' but over the years since then I’ve often thought about it and how the hell it worked!"
– c0p0u7
VIP Scam
"A friend and I once snuck 15 people into a Warped Tour by giving them some bracelets from a party supply store and clipboards full of paper. Walked up to the side gate and said we were with Rock The Vote. The security guard waved us right in."
– Goodgoodgodgod
Cold Case
"When I was younger I got called into HR because I drew a very detailed picture of a penis. It was really really good."
"The HR meeting happened like a week after I drew it and my only defense was 'I dont recall doing that, do you happen to have the picture? It might jog my memory.' They didnt have it of course because I had it, and because I didnt confess they couldn't do sh*t."
"Investigation results inconclusive, have a nice day."
– anon
Multi-Tasker
"When I was young and broke I bought a sofa from a used furniture store. I had no way to take the sofa home. I went to a used car lot a couple of blocks away and took a truck for a test drive..."
– luckyhenry
Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?
Crisis Avoided
"A storm broke a limb on a tree hanging over my house in my back yard, but it was still hanging on by a few splinters. I didn't want it to fall, and it wasn't in a place where I could use my ladder to get to it."
"So I found some rope, tied a brick to it, threw the brick and rope over the limb, made a crude rope swing, and swung and pulled at the branch until it finished breaking."
"It wasn't until I was using the chainsaw to cut it up that I realized how many times during my stupid idea I could have easily hurt or even killed myself."
– Mr_Vorland
Must Have Coffee
"Our power was out due to a storm. I had a campstove to use for boiling water to make a coffee pour-thru, but I couldn't use my electric grinder for the coffee beans. I tried fashioning a mortal and pestle but it was taking too long. So, I put the coffee beans in a couple of ziplock bags, placed the bag right behind a car tire, then ran over it back and forth a couple of times to crush the beans. Worked like a charm."
– EugeneStargazer
Holy Access
"Put Jesus in as WiFi password in church. It worked."
– Succulant_Kiwi
It may sound ridiculous on paper, but any solution that comes to mind when you're in a quandary is manifesting in your brain cells for a reason.
Never dismiss what seems like a dumb idea, for it could open up possibilities you never knew existed.
Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay |
Every so often life really makes little sense. Actually, life is a complete disaster most of the time. Not to be a pessimist, but I am left dumbfounded pretty consistently.
The world is just full of things and ideas that don't add up. It's all chaos and tomfoolery. For example... how do people go to jail for the same crimes, but receive different punishments?
Why would I go into debt for a college education when I see plenty of people get the same jobs just on charm and "some" experience?
Redditoru/__Dawn__Amber__wanted to compare notes on the things that make us go... mhmmm, by asking:
What really makes no sense?
People have opinions, but when they are judgmental in a way that makes a person feel self-conscious is something I never understood.
Myself included, why do we judge people's motives, their relationships, or their interests? Who cares?
Apparently, we do, even if many of us verbally state otherwise. It's a concept of human nature I'll never understand.
When Redditor sheepandboats asked, "[Serious] what's a concept you just cannot grasp?," strangers on the internet unearthed a whole lot of head-scratchers – ranging from technical, to social concepts – that sparked amusing and mind-blowing discussions
Tech And Science
We're grateful for these because we live without them. But how does it all work?
Computer Guts
"How computer hardware like circuit boards and mother boards and graphics cards somehow magically translate electricity into the stuff your software can do. Like I get how hitting the A button makes an A appear on your screen. But how does a bunch of metal and silicon and plastic make graphics for games and the thinking for NPCs or spellchecker on word processors. I mean I know it's 1s and 0s but still."
Getting Charged
"100%, call me dumb but uh wtf is electricity. How does it get there for us to use?"
Needle And Groove
"record players???????? how"
"Zoom way way in.. nope keep going.. okay here's a groove with pits and valley's that go up and down that also moves from side to side a bit.."
"Now you've got a needle moving in that track.. that needle is attached to a small magnet that's suspended between tightly wound coils of wire.. as the magnet moves it induces a very small electrical current in the coil. That current is then feed into an amplification circuit that boosts it into the audible range. In there will be circuitry to help filter, etc."
Sew, How Does It Work?
"How a sewing machine works. How does it loop and thread?? I've seen graphics on how it works and all, but my brain refuses to understand what's going on."
Existence
Life and history. There are tons of books and studies. And yet, being cognizant of the facts doesn't mean they no longer remain mysterious.
Previous Civilizations
"That we live on top of ancient cities."
"I mean, I do get the basic concepts. It's not that I don't believe that there were civilizations before us, and that their cities eventually got abandoned, ruined, destroyed or conquered."
"I just can't imagine my hometown with all its streets, buildings and everything else being completely leveled and another city being built on top of it, to the point that it falls into the ground and you have to dig it to find it. As I said, I completely understand the concept and the history lessons, I have a hard time figuring it out visually in my head an entire city being covered with ground and another city being built on top of it."
Vastness Of Nature
"Somewhat related, I have a hard time imagining true wilderness. The idea that in the past there was more land without people and settlements than there was and just how large those expanses were. Having only seen a much settled word, I can't imagine the scale of woods or prairies there once were"
Ceasing To Exist
"Death, like I can't fathom just not existing anymore."
"Honestly coming to terms with the fact that I can't fathom existing, either, is the biggest comfort of 'not understanding death.' I don't understand existence or nonexistence. Both seem impossible. I'm not going from the light to the dark. I'm just going from the dark to the other dark. I guess that's why the last audio clip of 'Dark Side of the Moon,' which is used as a metaphor for death throughout, is 'there is no dark side of the moon, really. As a matter of fact, it's all dark.'"
"On one hand, it's even more terrifying to just feel like I understand nothing and am completely in the dark always. On the other hand, it's been just fine, even fun, being in the dark. Maybe I don't need the illusion of understanding at all. Maybe it only hurts."
Concepts
Many of us don't question how these came to be. But they can be mind-blowing if you stop and really break down their existence.
Measurements
"Estimating size and distance. Don't ask me how many inches a tablecloth overhang is. I don't know if it's three inches or six inches. How far is it to nearest major city in miles? I dunno, about an hour in the car. How tall is my kid? Umm, like to my ribs. Soooo anywhere between 2' and 4'."
Does Not Compute
"Infinity. Not when it comes to numbers, more like when it comes to space."
"Like, what the hell do you mean 'space is infinite and ever-expanding?' These two things should be antithetical to each other, since for something to expand, it must be finite."
Tick Tock
"Time."
"Like what the actual f*k is that supposed to be?? how does it have a direction?"
A Confusing Market
"Economy. Things like stock market or bitcoin..."
"How crypocurrency works as anything other than an investment. Transaction costs make it useless as a real currency."
Great Beyond
"How there's no end to space. Also, I think if there was an end, it would be even more terrifying."
"What gets me is what is beyond space. It's increasing extremely fast, but if you somehow were faster than it (obviously impossible but if you think about it that way) what would you find? And what was there before the big bang and stuff? Trying to understand there being 'nothing', not even darkness, which is what you typically think of when it's nothing, screws with my brain."
People's Beliefs
"The fact that people can just deny modern medicine or regular facts and then call everybody else crazy for following basic knowledge. "oH tHE EaRtH is fLAt" no the hell it is not."
Words can break down in detail how the things around work – but that doesn't mean we have a better understanding.
The discussion of time, for instance, can lead a person down a philosophical rabbit hole.
When and how did we get here?
They say time will tell, but so far, we have yet to hear from it.