The All-Time Worst Excuses People Have Ever Given For Cheating
Reddit user newlymoneyedrapper asked: 'What is the worst excuse you've heard from someone who cheated?'
When it comes to the dating scene, we all know there are going to be rough moments, from awkward dates to being ghosted to heart-shattering breakups. But the thing everyone hopes will never happen is to be cheated on.
After all, if someone has the intention or inclination to cheat, why would they choose to date at all?
Already cringing at the thought, Redditor newlymoneyedrapper asked:
"What is the worst excuse you've heard from someone who cheated?"
Not 'Meant' for Monogamy
"When they get caught, they try to play the 'humans aren't meant to be monogamous' card."
"I'm like, 'If you don't believe in monogamy, why did you even marry in the first place only to cheat later? You could join a free love hippies commune at any time. But that's not what you did...'"
- fepivo6620
Coming Out as Polyamorous
"I know a girl that cheated, and when she was inevitably caught, said she was 'coming out' as polyamorous."
"She was dead serious and fully expected our support and everything."
- fxckfxckgames
"The difference between polyamory and cheating is informed mutual consent among all parties."
"It's not a sexual orientation, you can't just 'come out' as polyamorous. It's something your partner(s) have to know about and (willingly, not coerced) agree to. Otherwise, you're cheating and making excuses for your s**tty behavior."
- spla_ar42
"Lmao (laughing my a** off), get out of here. Actual poly people would know how important communication is beforehand."
"I would have laughed in her stupid, cheating face."
- kosherkitties
So, Grief Is An Aphrodisiac Now?
"She said, 'It was the anniversary of my cousin's death and I wasn't in my right mind. You know how upset I was. Blaming me is classic victim blaming. You should be COMFORTING me!'"
"This was AFTER I offered to stay with her for the night but she said she wanted to be alone."
"I wish I could say I immediately left her, but it took two months and a second cheating incident. That time she said she was upset over a bad grade (seriously)."
"I walked away. And I blocked her. The bizarre part is how she kept trying to contact me for four years after that. She even confronted me in the parking lot on my first day of work, begging me to take her back. Why f**k around so indiscriminately if you want to be with someone?"
"Anyway, I stopped trying to figure her out long ago."
"It was my first relationship (age 15 to 18), and I was a naive fool."
"I'm not jaded now, but I know a h**l of a lot better."
- midnightsonofab***h
"I am sure her cousin would have been very proud of her using his death as an excuse to cheat and then call herself the victim."
- Acceptable-Stay-3166
Everyone Hates Mercury Retrograde
"My ex was very into astrology. She cheated and later blamed the great American eclipse of August 2017."
- henoney389
"SORRY I KEYED YOUR CAR, LOL (LAUGHING OUT LOUD). I'M SUCH AN ASPARAGUS."
- Skwerilleee
"I think you mean the MOON is in GATORADE."
- Zmb7elwa
So Sweet of them
"'I didn’t even enjoy it, because I was thinking about you the whole time, and I felt terrible.”
- fepivo6620
Those Undeniable Needs
"He said, 'You were at the hospital for two weeks. A man has needs."
- Wichita_Falls_Texas
"My girlfriend had a contagious skin infection for several months, and the post-infection management was even longer. We put off sex for about a whole year, and not once did thoughts of cheating occur to me."
"I’m sorry you had to endure that. Not all men are like him."
- Expensive_Presence_4
Growing the Family, and the Relationship
"They said, 'My wife was pregnant, so I wasn't getting any.'"
- tefama5759
"If I remember correctly, pregnancy is the time or one of the times when women are cheated on the most."
- RBNrando
"This breaks my heart."
- LoreGeek
At Least It Didn't "Matter"
"They said, 'It’s not like it meant anything.' Oh good, glad we cleared that up."
- fepivo6620
"Yet you threw our relationship away over it. So what I'm hearing is I mean less than nothing to you."
- LeRuseRenard
Increased... Appreciation
"He really said, 'I’m just on Tinder to confirm that there’s nothing better out there. It helps me appreciate you more.'"
- tivige8195
Getting a Jump on Things
"My previous partner told me that he cheated because he insisted that he 'thought I was going to break up with him anyways,' so he started seeing other women."
"I believe this was just another one of his manipulation tactics to put the blame on ME for his actions. To this day, I cannot fathom the mental gymnastics he had to do to justify his decisions... Lol (laughing out loud)."
- cuteemogirlfriend
"I wonder if he's familiar with the term 'self-fulfilling prophecy'?"
- Browncoat85
"Well, he is now."
- cuteemogirlfriend
Cheat or Be Cheated On
"My last boyfriend said he cheated because he thought I had already cheated. But I did not cheat on him."
"He felt like an a**face when he realized I didn't... But he lowkey still thinks I did."
- _mel-issa
For the Sake of the Relationship
"My college roommate would cheat on his girlfriend a few times a semester, and then feel awful about it and realize how much he loved his girlfriend."
"He started to rationalize that 'you need to cheat to stay faithful.'"
- henoney389
Opportunities to Cheat
"Oh, this thread reminds me of my ex, who was just a complete s**tbag."
"He didn't cheat, but he nearly did, and he told me about it and said 'Hey, I was really drunk and still didn't cheat, everyone around was so so proud of me and said I must really like you. They all thought I did amazing for not cheating on you even though I had a proper chance to do it, so I thought I'd tell you about it.'"
"I just raised my eyebrow at him. I remember that I did hang up on him a few times and told him that it wasn't massively impressive when he was being a d**k. He was very abusive so I couldn't safely leave him, though. If it was safe to do so, I would've dumped his a** right there and then."
"I know he's on Reddit so he'll likely see this, and good riddance because he's a complete t**t. If you see this, you know who you are, and I think you can go to h**l for what you did to me."
- Complete-Mess4054
All About the Rush
"The answer is because cheaters get off on cheating. It gives them a thrill that a 'normal' relationship can't give them."
"This is why I say cheaters will always cheat, because they crave the excitement of it."
"They don't give a s**t about monogamy or non-monogamy; they just find it fun to cheat. They also enjoy chasing after other people who are in relationships because it's more fun for them to chase after someone who's already taken rather than to find someone who's not."
"In other words, they're sociopaths who get off on causing misery to satisfy their own selfish desires."
- MissGrim66
It's clear why these Redditors thought these were the worst explanations for cheating.
Not only do some of them not make sense, but they're a total dismissal of the cheater's accountability in the relationship.
While realizing that a partner you loved was cheating is already bad enough, it seems that receiving a terrible, ingenuine reason for the act would only serve to make it worse.
Falling in love or merely just dating is an emotional minefield.
Being able to trust someone completely is a superpower.
Because cheaters are everywhere.
Discovering you're being cheated on is the worst.
But also, the best, for you.
When you learn, you can take out the trash.
Redditor rammalammamemedong wanted to hear about the times a significant other betrayed you, so they asked:
"How did you find out your SO was cheating on you?"
If you're lonely... put on some Adele and Whitney and dance and cry it out. You'll realize you're better off. But let's hear some stories of people who chose differently.
I See You
"I had a feeling for a while, but nothing concrete. We only had one car so she would drop me off at work and then go on to her work. We were supposed to have lunch together when she called and said she couldn’t make it, she was tied up at work. Boss heard I didn’t have lunch so he gave me the company truck to go pick up lunch for the shop."
"Drove to the fast food place my wife and I were supposed to have lunch at and saw her sitting outside with a coworker holding hands and feeding each other. I went through the drive thru, then honked at them. Her face went from confusion to shock and she tried to pull her hands away from the dude. Found out he was told I was her gay roommate."
mikillbeorn
Unhappiest Place on Earth
sad black and white GIFGiphy"Used her IPad on our honeymoon at Disney. She hadn’t used it in a while so when I powered it... all her texts from her phone synced over. Saw the whole affair flash before my eyes. Doing much better now than I was then!"
Super_diabetic
Wing Night
"I was taken out for wings with her best friend's husband and another of her guy friends - we hung out quite a bit. They knew I was clueless to what was happening but they liked me. :) I was told straight out by both of those dudes. Solid move by them - it sucked hard to hear but after a bit of time I really appreciated that they felt I was enough of a friend to let me know. It's been a few years since I've seen or talked to either of them. Good people those two guys are."
ultrasounddude
Stupid
"Back when cell phones had limited minutes, I got notified that we were over our limit. Checked the last bill and nothing but her and her boss talking at all hours of the day. Then she stupidly left her e-mail open on my computer and I got to read how he enjoyed touching her boobs a lot."
dadnoises
Take Her
Great Job Yes GIF by Hollywood SuiteGiphy"Well the guy she was cheating with decided that he wanted her all to him self so he found me and told me about it."
charrarenottrout
People really are trash. Why am I still trying to date?
Click
Let Me Go Love GIF by 3 Doors DownGiphy"Her new boyfriend left 😘 on her Instagram picture. I clicked on his profile and his picture is them kissing. It was a pretty cool way to find out."
casalien22
Excuse Me?
"My stay-at-home wife at the time got pregnant despite we hadn't had sex for a while and I had a vasectomy. She tried to hide her pregnancy under the guise of weight gain but the medical statements in the mail gave away the purpose of her doctor visits."
Negafox
The Sleuth
"She accused me of cheating out of the blue. Made me jump through crazy hoops to prove myself, but 'believed' me. Everything settled, 6 months later she did it again. It took two more of these to see the cycle, simple sleuthery led to the admitted truth that every time I was accused, she was the one cheating."
xtramundane
Being Early
"I was early picking him up from work and saw the other woman dropping him off. They made out for a minute before he ran inside. He came out a few minutes later, having changed into his work shirt, and immediately started complaining about his coworkers."
bluetinycar
"Read"
Read Taraji P Henson GIF by HULUGiphy"I suspected him of having a thing for my friend but he always gaslit me into thinking I was just insecure and paranoid. He had his phone connected to the Bluetooth in our (shared) vehicle. A text from my friend popped up and before he could stop me, I pressed 'Read.'"
"Text message said 'I love you, can't wait for tomorrow.' That day ended a 7 year relationship."
Deezus1229
Real bro move...
"The dude she cheated on me with had no idea I even existed and I was out of town visiting my dad in Boston. He sent me a message on Facebook telling me he's sorry but he had no idea I existed and he was drunk that night. He woke up before her and used the bathroom and saw my shaving kit."
"She said it was her roommate's but it was a 1 bedroom apartment. He did some snooping and found out she was dating me. Real bro move. I had no anger towards him, actually the opposite. He even invited me to have some drinks and he'd pay. I respectfully declined."
"Luckily we only had 6 weeks left on our lease. The most painful and awkward 6 weeks of my life. She threw away a 3 year relationship because she didn't wanna go to Boston but was mad that I still wanted to go without her. Now I'm happily married to a non-toxic and wonderful woman and that experience taught me a lot and allowed me to dodge a bullet."
umbrella_CO
months and months...
"Wife’s Apple ID was logged into the iPad we have for the kids and her texts were shared to it. I was setting up a movie for my kids to watch on a long drive and a text showed up on top of the screen from an unsaved number. The text was 3 hearts. I opened it up and holy f**kballs it had been going on for months and months. Totally freakin' wrecked me."
xdylanxfrommyspace
Gotcha
"We were on the couch and a message popped up on his phone that was on the coffee table. I kinda glanced down and he acted very nervous - grabbed the phone quickly and starting talking about how it was just his work blah blah blah - even though I didn't even ask or say anything."
"I did notice that the icon in the top corner was for a known hook up app. So the next day I searched for men seeking women in our area. Found an ad that he had made (He had put his phone number in the ad) took a screenshot of it and sent it to him and said to never talk to me again. (We weren't living together thankfully)."
"He sent me a string of messages that I never replied to. The first one was him denying it completely. Then he said that I was the one cheating, because why else would I be searching on that app. Then he said he made it to 'catch' me cheating. Then he was just insecure and wanted attention from other women, but totally wasn't going to do anything. The last message he finally admitted to it. I went and got tested and luckily hadn't caught anything. 0/10 wouldn't recommend."
darlingsolo
Tattletale
Happy Yara Shahidi GIF by grown-ishGiphy"Her roommate told me lol. Their house was always a freaking nightmare. The chore system must have been awful lol. They were best friends before the move in and they were each other's first roommate experience so they weren't prepared. I don't think the friendship lasted long afterwards."
WowThatsRelevant
Lies
"We were supposed to hang out after work but she bailed last minute with some shit excuse so I followed her. She lied about her plans and went back to her ex’s house. The next day when I saw her I just told her that I caught her in a lie, it’s a pretty bad one, and we’re done. She kept asking how I knew what she was doing and all I said was, 'no, I’m not gonna help you be a better liar.' She balled her little alligator eyes out."
FoxyGrampa
“blocked”
"He left his phone open to someone named 'blocked' texting him about her weird sunburn from her swimsuit straps. Funny thing is, I wouldn’t have given it a second thought if the contact name in the phone was anything normal. 'So-and-so from work?' Whatever, not a second thought. But titling a contact 'blocked' (who clearly isn’t blocked since they’re messaging you!) is just a big red flag."
BabaTheBlackSheep
I Knew...
"I had a feeling for a while, it was always denied of course - directly and through a massive amount of gaslighting. Ultimately, the other woman was also married and her husband called me at work (found me via LinkedIn). Took everything I had to walk to my car to cry in private."
"I’m definitely in a much better place now (this all happened Fall of 2019). To answer some questions- I filed for divorce. No I didn’t get with the other woman’s husband. His main goal was stopping the behavior to work things out with his wife. I’m not sure how that ended up."
AccomplishedSpread75
Easy
"He called me to tell me he was at his guy friends house. Okay love you have fun. Two seconds later my phone rings again and I can hear him and a woman laughing at 'how easy that was.'"
ArtoftheEarthMG
The Math
Calculating Figure It Out GIFGiphy"Got chlamydia. I knew I didn’t mess around, and my ex before her tested negative, so there wasn’t many options left. 1+1=2."
ahjteam
My House
"The other woman knocked on my front door and asked me to take my kid and get out so that the two of them could be together and be happy. I told her she could have him, but they'd have to go because technically I owned the house. I then told him he was free to go. He did not go, sadly. She'd been dropped off by her ex who she'd cheated on with my (ex) husband. That was quite awkward."
Faiths_got_fangs
Sometimes it's best to just stay single. Can't trust no one in these streets.
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You want to look for the best in people.
Knowing someone who once cheated on their significant other in a past relationship, or maybe this individual even cheated on you, can be a difficult thing to look past. There might always be that seed of doubt in your heart, knowing they can flip a switch and emotionally or physically break their bond with you again.
Or maybe you're capable of giving that trust over, knowing people can learn from their mistakes.
Always good to see what the internet has to say.
Reddit user, rachael_0898, wanted to know your opinion on a tricky matter when they asked:
"Do you think once a cheater always a cheater? Why or why not?"
Look for the best in all of humanity.
If someone made a mistake, that doesn't damn them for the rest of time, does it?
Life Is Not Black And White
"No. Life is more complex than a binary on/off truism like that. And people change. You are not the same person you were when you were 8, or 12 or 20. You grew, you learned lessons, you grew some more."
"You will not be the same person when you are 60. This definitely means you live and learn. Not everyone will, but to assume nobody does is wrong."
Metatron_Fallen
Depends On The Situation, Obviously
"It really depends on the situation. I cheated because I was in a sexually and mentally abusive relationship. I would try to leave him but the he would threaten to leak my nudes or off himself if I did. So I did the only thing I could think of to be happy. But I’m now in a healthy, loving relationship, and cheating never crosses my mind."
BlaineNicolai02
You Better Be Ready To Live With The Consequences
"No, not necessarily, but the stigma is deserved. You can grow and change, but you hurt someone and there are subsequent consequences for hurting people."
buttnutbutter
"You may never cheat again, but you will never have the chance to cheat on me again."
xFiDgetx
"Exactly. I'm glad for the people who learn and grow and whatever, but I don't have to take that baggage on. I'd leave a dating relationship for cheating, but truly picturing ending my marriage if he had a one-time physical cheating episode (emotional affair is very different, I'd leave for that), is a lot less black and white than I'd like it to be"
abqkat
Hopefully You Learn And Grow
"I cheated on my boyfriend when I was 15-16 years old. Even lied about it and didn’t had the balls to speak up. We stayed together and eventually 1 1/2 years later I broke the silence and told him the truth that he knew for a long time already. Since then, I never lied in my life again and stayed honest. I couldn’t cheat on anyone anymore or wouldn’t want to - so in my case I learned my lesson and sometimes I can’t even apologise for my behaviour back then. But my boyfriends from later ages told me you were young and that’s okay! Hope that helps."
Sarcasmgurl_
Once Is Fine. Twice? You're Pushing It.
"No, if they do it twice tho, thats when they're always a cheater"
bl4ckp00lzz
"That's the way I look at it. Everyone makes mistakes. What matters is how you learn and grow from the experience. Someone who cheated once, was remorseful, and was able to understand the hurt they did may not cheat again. But once someone cheats a second time, it strikes me as those things not mattering, so that boundary is never established."
DisturbedNocturne
Hoping For Future Clarity
"As someone who cheated on a partner, I sure hope not. I live with the guilt to this day, and I know I’ll never be forgiven for such actions. I moved on and wish her the absolute best. Last I heard she was getting married and is happy. I’ve learned my lesson and don’t think I can bring myself to bear that burden twice over."
JimmyCheezSneez
Give Everyone A Shot, But If That Doesn't Work, Then...Revenge?
"Essentially, mistakes are the most effective moments of learning, factoring in neural plasticity and growth mindset, people are very capable of reflective change. Assuming that the person cheating feels that way about it - they might just be trying to have a cake and eat it too, in which case, f-ck their dad."
iammeanbecauseiamsad
Is It The Person Or The Relationship?
"I think that within the context of that relationship, probably. But not forever in all relationships. Unfortunately, forgiveness can also be permission. If the relationship ends, they’ll probably think twice next time in another relationship bc they will have experienced the consequences"
Easteuroblondie
And then there's that old saying: once a cheater, always a cheater.
Doesn't Sound Like This Dude Wants To Be Married
"Yes, or the tendencies will always be there. I know a guy who has cheated on his wife 8 times in 20 years of marriage. He cheated on her with my friend who also cheated on every guy she had been with"
carsonlittle
Trust That Leopard To Change Their Spots?
"'Always' is a strong word, nothing in life is going to be 100% black or 100% white especially not humans who's behavior can change randomly due to getting older or new experiences or whatever else.......but I would also say that cheating on your partner willingly does show a lot about that person personality as a whole, and I wouldn't gamble my chances on a person suddenly changing their personality just because I want it. Chances of that happening are much lower than chances of it not happening , so I say "presume that they most likely wont change" and go from there."
potatoslasher
You Won't Even Get A Chance
"Yes. I won't start a relationship if I knew this person cheated."
CountFocus
You Pass A Certain Threshold
"I feel there’s a certain age/time in life where if you have cheated, you have a WAY higher chance of doing it again. Young people mess up, adults should know better."
TZFaro
"I feel like so many teenagers don’t even know what love is so that chase anything that seems like"
rachael_0898
"Agreed. Once you get to that 25 mark, it stops being a youthful mistake and starts becoming a pattern of sh-tty behavior."
Ducks-Dont-Exist
You Had All The Time In The World To Grow
"Probably not always. But recent experience with my now ex would say yes. She cheated on her first bf when she was 19. She then walked in on her next bf cheating on her at 22 after being with him for 2 years so she knows how it feels to be cheated on. She was then single for 7 years and met me at 29. She cheated on me after 15 months living together. She had years to grow up in between and still cheated 10 years after doing it the first time, while also knowing how much it hurts. So in her case at least, she certainly is."
Electronic-Skirt5951
It's Mental Before Physical
"People cheat with their minds before they cheat with their... other parts, so it seems to be an attitude, an outlook on life. That makes behavior decidedly difficult to change. I'm a really good liar if you want to know if those jeans make you butt look fat, but if it's important and you have a right to know - I can't lie worth sh*t. To cheat or not to cheat: easy decision for me."
Rick2L
You Can Never Go Back
"Yes, mostly because in my almost 50 years, I've seen it play out repeatedly in just one of two ways..."
- "The cheater cheats again."
- "The cheater doesn't cheat again, but the partner is always suspicious of everything the other does because the trust was lost."
"Honestly, I wouldn't want to live with either of those scenarios. I'd rather be alone."
SuchLovelyLilacs
They Say They Can Change, But You Know Better
"This post will probably be buried but my first boyfriend cheated on me in high school after being together for 2 years. Then he started dating someone new a year later and was seriously committed to her for all of 5 minutes. He was secretly cheating on her with dozens of girls: one night stands, classmates, random encounters, some regulars... any chance he got. His girlfriend found out a couple of times and he would cry and beg her to not leave him. She stayed and he continued his ways. They had been together for about 4 or 5 years."
"During this period, he was regularly sleeping with a girl from his college, he used to joke about how ugly she is and he can't get her off his back. Suddenly, he ended up knocking her up, having a child, turning religious and getting married within the year. He lost touch with most of his friends and moved away - very weird situation. In his case - I do believe once a cheater always a cheater simply because he couldn't help himself."
POded99
Over 30? That's Who You Are.
"Everyone I know who cheats still cheats on their new s.o.(s)"
"People don't change much once they hit the 30 year old mark if they aren't active in bettering them self. They stay the same no matter how much they 'swear' they've 'changed'."
FNKTN
Trust Your Gut. Don't Get Taken.
"Everyone is different"
"When I was 17 I got drunk and cheated on my gf with a girl I had a crush on for a long ass time. It was horrible, I hated myself for doing it, and I've never even come close to cheating ever again."
"In my 30s, my fiance and I had two kids (one was mine, the other was from her previous relationship but the kid called me dad and for all intents and purposes I was). We had a house together. Were building a future together. The thing I liked the most about her was I always felt like she was going to be loyal..."
"A few months before our wedding, I found out she was banging a guy she worked with. Total pos too (33 felony charges, face tattoos, no car, lived at home with his mom, etc.)"
"Kicked her out of the house, but a year later I decided to give her another chance because I wanted to give my son a life with mom and dad together. Long story short, she was talking to and hanging out with multiple guys and lying to me about it."
"Tldr: everyone is different, and some people can cheat once and never again. But there's a very good chance a cheater will cheat again"
CerealKiller3030
Always consider a person's past when looking ahead to the future you might be sharing with them.
Consider what kind of trust you're willing to give, and how much you're willing to lose if that individual ends up cheating again.
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Some people are just trash. And we can't help ourselves but fall in love with these fools. We give ourselves to them. We love them and teach how to love. And what do they do? They cheat.
Or turn the relationship into a "Dateline NBC" episode.
I have really heard it all when discussing the reasons for straying outside of a relationship. The fact that some people try to sell their madness with a straight face is commendable. But why do it? If you're not happy... leave.
Redditor u/OneAttention2623 wanted to hear about all the best excuses we've been fed from partners about being a lowdown, dirty, scandalous cheat, by asking:
What is The Dumbest Excuse An Ex Has Given You For Cheating?
It just happened. That one is a favorite. Like it was magic or destiny.
Huh?
Super Bowl Ok GIF by PepsiGiphy"My ex-husband said these exact words to me. "It wasn't anything to do with you. You were never supposed to know." Freaking f**ker!"
"just a friend"
"I didn't wanna break your heart by dumping you. And you thought cheating would be LESS hurtful???? Forget you, Jess. I only found out because her secret boyfriend unexpectedly showed up at our house one night. She went ghost-pale, swore up-and-down that he was "just a friend" and then HE told me then had been doing/dating for several weeks. Who knows how many OTHER guys she was with behind my back over the 10 years we were together."
Angel of Mercy...
"I thought he had cancer."
"Mr. Jenkins, I'm sorry, but it's cancer. It's in your liver now, but we can assume it will metastasize and move throughout your body. There aren't many treatment options that are available to us that stand much of a chance of working."
"Unless... and this is quite unorthodox... but preliminary studies show that freaking u/dreaminggod05*'s significant other may increase your chances of remission by nearly 69%. After all,* u/dreaminggod05 shows no signs of cancer at all, and we have to assume that benefit must be transmitted sexually. The contact info is available on nearly any restroom wall, but I'll write it down for you before you leave."
2 Psychopaths
"I don't owe you an explanation." She cheated on me with my own damned older brother. That was my first serious relationship, y'all. He and I had already been estranged for a few years. It's what happens when you lie to the cops about your mother beating you with an electrical cord and then pull a buck knife on your little brother and tell him you'll assault him with it if he ever talks to you again"
- MC_Crit
LOLOLOLOL
Season 2 Lol GIF by FriendsGiphy"My friend's girlfriend told him that she "forgot she wasn't single anymore" lmfao."
I don't know where to begin. This mess is even beyond Oprah, Brené Brown, Iyanla and Dr. Phil. Just stay single.
You Failed
fail black and white GIFGiphy"He said that it was my fault that he cheated because I raised his confidence so much and he figured if he could get me he could get other girls and he decided to test that theory. A lot."
Eyes Closed
"I was sleep walking."
"There was an episode of "House" where a woman was wondering why her ex who lived in the same complex thinks she wanted him back. When House tells her she's pregnant it turns out she was going to his apartment and was having sex with him in her sleep. I don't remember how it ended because it was just the side plot that led him to figure out the main story."
it's probably not yours…
"When I found out she cheated on me and I asked why, she said "I thought you were going to say we should take a break." When I asked her if the kid was mine or his, she said "it's probably not yours… it could be his or his room mates', to be honest." And that's the magical combination from a fiancé that will send you into depression."
- k0uch
The Most Unexplained Events In History | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
History is littered with unsolved mysteries. Whether those answers are buried somewhere or lost forever, it doesn't stop people from wondering or hypothesizi...You'll love her!
"Hey so I've been meaning to bring this up but I'm actually interested in a poly relationship even though we've been together for years and I've never once mentioned it. You'll love her!" Meanwhile he tried to cut me off from all my male friends. I know quite a few poly people, and see how it works for them, which just added to the bull factor."
Fly Away
thevoiceau stank GIF by The Voice AustraliaGiphy"I only had one man cheated on me in my life and that's my ex-husband. And he basically frame it as, "My butterflies for you has flown to her." What more other explanation do I need right? Makes sense..."
Like a Virgin
"I was not a virgin previous to the relationship, so it was not fair that she had not had sex with someone else."
- ehren123
"My ex bf broke up with me for the same reason when previously we were making plans for the future. And when he found out that other women's vaginas aren't more magical than mine he tried to come back to me lol. But at least he did break up instead of cheat."
Be Natural
"Humans are not naturally monogamous. It doesn't make sense for us to be monogamous, so you really can't blame me for acting naturally."
- moonchz
"I had one similar to this, who told me that the expectation that women not cheat was part of the patriarchy and by expecting her not to, I was being abusive and controlling."
It hurt but I forgave her.
"I found out she cheated on me with a coworker, but admitted it immediately and asked me to forgive her (just got married 3 months before this after 7 years together). It hurt but I forgave her. The next weekend she did it again because "clearly I don't care about her since I didn't get that mad." I wasn't as forgiving the second time, broke some sh*t in our house just to prove how pissed I was, then we split. My life is so much better now."
Daughters
"I had postpartum depression after my third daughter. My daughters were four, three and one when he slept with my neighbor. He said I emotionally pushed him away 🤔."
"Maybe you did. It would be normal and understandable of you had; three small children and depression would make it very difficult to cater to your husband's needs. So, a decent, unselfish and loving husband would understand the stress and difficulty you're experiencing, and would step up to take care of you and the kids while you recuperate, and would make an effort to maintain the emotional connection between the two of you. What an utter failure at being a husband."
Mud
"He didn't "cherish" me. He knew he promised to in his vows but he didn't do it. We divorced in 2012 after 30 years together and he passed a year ago. I'm bittersweet about the whole thing. That man made a mud hole out of my heart by the time I was done."
"best interests"
"You're too emotional and she was giving me advice about you." And "Well I'm much happier now." it's been a year and I'm still seriously f*cked up about it."
"I just posted about mine who said some similar bullsh*t about how she was giving him advice about me. He actually tried to tell me that she had my "best interests" at heart and was doing me a "favor." Yeah, sure."
"This witch I've never met (but who knew I existed and was with my partner) was really looking out for me by jumping on my partner's penis and then sexting him constantly afterward. It's been over a year for me and I'm still messed up about it too. I'm really sorry. Nobody deserves to be betrayed like that, or gaslighted afterward with such absurd, blame-shifting excuses."
I'm Alone
Nbc Idk GIF by Good GirlsGiphy"My Cousin's ex wife cheated on him with her personal trainer and told my cousin it was his fault because he didn't go to the gym with her."
Comfort
"Oooh... I've got a good story about this. I thought something shady was going on with an ex and her work colleague. I asked her about it and she denied it. Then I got confirmation from another friend who also worked with her. He said she was with this dude on the side."
"So I confront her again and asked why she lied when I asked her about this colleague before and also asked why she was cheating. She said whatever she was doing was between her and work colleague, and so it was none of my business. That's why she didn't have to tell me."
Make a Wish
fire birthday GIF by America's Funniest Home VideosGiphy"It's my birthday too. During the summer after high school (UK) so was 16, got with a gal who had the same birthday as me unknowingly which was quite funny tbh. Fast forward to her birthday party her family threw for her and invited a bunch of friends, I'll never forget walking up the stairs to see them making out. Was the worst birthday I'd ever had."
- Jazs1994
No Chairs
"Not my story but a couple I was friends with in college. Girlfriend was cheating on her boyfriend for months with a classmate, apparently it started because she had him at her apartment and she had to sit on his lap while they did their work "because of lack of chairs."
I give people points for comedy and ingenuity but come on. I hope in these divorces the scorned took the cheater for EVERYTHING! I would.
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Image by Alejandro Tuzzi from Pixabay |
Cheaters never win or prosper. Or do they? Those are especially pointed questions when it comes to matter of the heart. Being in a relationship is difficult. Just because you love someone doesn't mean the devil still isn't beguiling. We're not perfect. I love vodka, but I don't pretend rum isn't out there. I just have to commit to not imbibing. ;)
Redditor u/tofuandvegantendies wanted to see who was willing to discuss the times they've strayed from the path of righteousness in relationships by asking... [Serious] People who had an affair and got away with it: what's your story? Do you feel any guilt?I've had several serious relationships in my time. I've cheated on a few, I've been cheated on and I've been the person who was cheated with. And although it felt good in the moment, the aftermath always left me feeling shame. Because I knew I was better than that. Who can relate?
Sorry
Sorry Dog GIF by swerkGiphyI have cheated on My now Ex-girlfriend and got away with it obviously because it was a long-distance relationship. And I did it with my now ex-best friend (M) and I was 17 and I do feel guilty because it's not fair to cheat at all under any circumstances. I'm never doing it again and it never occurred to me that I'm doing anything wrong which is horrible. My heart goes out the people who are being cheated on I'm sorry.
In the Sunken Place
I met a beautiful young(er) woman online and we immediately hit it off.
In the time leading up to our first date, she was super excited about hanging out/fooling around with a "Dilf"/"Dad" (I'm single/no kids. I just look sad, old, and defeated), whereas I was super excited that I met someone beautiful/funny and that they were crazy excited to spend time with ME! (Shock, I know).
When we finally met, our hangout essentially dissolved into an affectionate, sloppy, naked, mess, to which my new "friend" decided to share that she had long-term BF/Fiance . -_-
At that point, my feeling could only be described as the sunken place from Get Out, where my psyche felt like it was sinking into a black hole of disappointment while I was watching my body/mind interact with this person.
I couldn't enjoy our time after that, and I felt numb to her affections. So the guilt was immediate. I think the feeling that I struggled with/ate away at me the most is knowing that the entire time leading up to this, I was upfront with my interests and intent (LTR) and that I spent all this emotional energy getting exciting/happy about meeting a potential partner, and then having to reconcile how everything was pretty much bull.
Eggs in the basket...
I was in a cycle of serial cheating for the majority of my dating life. I dated many, many people, but only one boyfriend ever found out about my infidelity (and promptly dumped me).
I compartmentalized every relationship and fooled myself into thinking I was doing it to avoid "putting all my eggs in one basket." In reality, it was because I never felt satisfied with the amount of validation and attention I received. I made impulse decisions and submerged myself into relationships, because self-introspection was too scary.
When I went off prozac two years ago, the truth of what I was and had been doing to myself and others hit me smack in the face. I was consumed by guilt and self-hatred and vowed to change my ways. I've kept that vow.
I currently have a serious boyfriend, and he is my first monogamous relationship. I'm in therapy, on appropriate medication, and have cut off toxic influences. I'm working through my traumas. I no longer talk to any of the people I cheated on, but I wish them the best.
Six Months In...
The affair was with me. She was an older married woman in her early 40's, and I was single and 27. We flirted for months in person and text, but I didn't think anything would come of it. Then it did for a year and a half. She tried to break it off twice out of guilt, and I completely understood, but within a week we were back in bed together. Third time was a charm, apparently.
Guilt?
sorry ups GIF by EnBWGiphyI wasn't the one who had an affair. She was the one that had an affair with me.
I had broken up with her officially but remained as friends with benefits. Our affair ended for good when she went public with her boyfriend now husband. I only found out later on how bad of a situation it was. Guilt? Yes, it ate me up for several years. I was unwillingly the other guy, Not once but twice, with two different women.
So it's not just me. I have to admit, I feel pangs of guilt now because... some of those stories are hot. They just are. That's why it's important to think about the consequences that will follow. For instance...
Be Alone
Sad Talk To Me GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphyYes. Cheated once in my life. Was in the end of a long relationship that was to weak to end. So I cheated.
She didn't even notice even to I started to act weird. Didn't feel fair the either my SO or the person I was cheating on. So I ended the relationship and a couple of weeks later ended it with the person I cheated with. Kinda figured I needed to be single.
Poor Guy
The guy was in a toxic relationship with a girl who pressured him to put a ring on her straight out of high school. She was an absolute witch to him and refused to get a job citing mental health issues while he was working his butt off trying to support the two of them.
I met him online and we hit it off really well. I knew enough about the situation with his fiancee to constantly pressure him to just cut it off with her.
He wouldn't cut it off but the two of us graduated to friends with benefits for awhile before toning it back down. I have 0 remorse for the affair.
Later I got married and a little after that he finally broke it off with his fiancee and moved in with a new girl who actually treats him like an equal. I'm happy with the outcome.
I Loved Her
I was 28. My girlfriend and I were long distance. She in TN, me in MA. I met a girl online and we talked. She ended up coming over 1 weekend and we had sex. I never told her I had a GF. She did have a BF. He found out and broke up with her after.
A week later I confessed to her. She stayed with me. 2 weeks later I broke up with her and broke her heart. For 8 years I was still in love with her.
I didn't want to date anyone else.
About 10 years or so ago I told her yet again that I was sorry for what happened. This was a decade after it happened. She forgave me.
I've never cheated on a relationship since.
But wait... it gets worse...
My brother in law is engaged and has three kids, he had three affairs, real messy when it came out, three times we had to take the kids to keep them safe, three times we had to support my sister, three times the police came out.
They're still together in an unhappy relationship, He had his affairs when working away from home... guess where he is now?
100% that guy doesn't feel guilty and is peed with us because we have denounced him as a family and refuse to let him into our homes after everything he's done, to my sister and his kids, and the poor girl he had the affair with.
if I told the full story, I'd have to stop thirty times to say 'but wait, it gets worse'
He had affairs during covid, one of his kids is extremely vulnerable, he wrote the girl love letters blaming my sister, he broke all his bail conditions stating he has to stay away from my sister, the affair only ended because the girl broke it off with him, he still continued to pursue, promising he can change, that he wants her... he's such a toxic person... theres so much more...
He 100% got away with it all.
Forget You
Whatever Shrug GIF by MOODMANGiphySomeone I met up with was cheating on her husband with me.
I felt horrible for him as she was talking crapabout her husband. Like that's all my worth was to her was basically a "freak you" to him.
Cheaters never prosper, we've circled back. In the end, it's better to just be honest. Usually cheating is a red flag that means something bigger is wrong in the relationship. Start looking there. And remember... think first! Consequences abound.
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