Wait, What?: Foreigners Explain Which American Customs Make No Sense To Them
Reddit user thunderpower1999 asked: 'Non- Americans, what is an American custom that you find unusual or odd?'
When studying or learning about different countries and cultures, many Americans find themselves fascinated and/or perplexed by some of their customs and traditions.
Up to and including Canada having their Thanksgiving celebrations in October, Guy Fawkes night in England, or spitting on the bride for good luck at Greek weddings.
Many of these same Americans who scoff at the very idea of these customs might not stop to think that the tables can be easily turned, and visitors from abroad often find themselves in an equal state of confusion at some of our customs and traditions.
Redditor thunderpower1999 was eager to hear which American customs foreigners found to be the most baffling, leading them to ask:
"Non- Americans, what is an American custom that you find unusual or odd?"
The Only Thing More Ridiculous, Are Most Of The Candidats
"I find the length of your election campaigns so crazy."- Olivia123321
Presidential elections seem to be some sort of two year affair. It's out of control.
Most Meteorologists Would Agree
"My friend from India once asked me (an American) to explain Groundhog Day to her."
"I had no explanation- it’s just weird."- marmosetohmarmoset
Groundhog Day Winter GIF GiphySlowly Becoming Extinct Though...
"The waiter taking your card away to pay."- Vlakob
Trick Or Treat!
"I’ll never forget when a college schoolmate from China asked me 'is it true that you have a holiday where children dress up and go around asking for candy?'"
"I had never thought about it before but all I could say was 'yes, I guess we do…'"- EverLong0
They Think That's Strange, Ask Them What They Think About Our Health Care System...
"The Canadians I worked with in the oilfield were blown away by all of the television commercials for medicines."- rufneck-420
Happy Mental Health GIF by Jimmy Arca GiphyGobble Gobble!
"Pardoning a turkey at Thanksgiving."
"Cracks me up every time, and I've lived here 20 years now!"- sandithepirate
Strange Isn't Always Bad
"Let me pull the Uno reverse card on this."
"I am an immigrant, living in the US for a very long time."
"Getting your leftovers to go at the restaurants was a surprise to me."
"But my reaction was, 'yeah, why is that not the norm?'"
"Rather than “Americans are strange'."- BobTheInept
When You Think You Have Exact Change...
"Not including tax in the price tag."- klc81
The Simpsons Animation GIF by FOX TV GiphySo Much For Camaraderie...
"The obsession with college sports…and in some places even high school or middle school!"
"I just came back from a work trip to Texas and one of my colleagues told me the football stadium for his daughter’s middle school held 20,000 people!"- Speedbird223
Valuing Children? The Very Thought!
"That new parents, especially fathers, are expected to show up to work within days of having a newborn."- kellygrrrl328
How Long Have You Got?
"Some things I found strange in America:"
"Lack of recycling bins everywhere."
"That homeless people have tents everywhere like streets (Washington really surprised me)."
"Ice filled to the brim of the cup."
"Anything and everything having a tipping option."
"Tipping in general."
"Tax not included in the price."
"Massive lawyer billboards on every highway."- effypom
The Office Yes GIF GiphyCivic Duty, But No Civic Holiday.
You have holidays for everything but a day off for election is too much
Just Plain Gross
"Child beauty pageants."
"Just stop it."- LoadedGull
It should be said that most Americans are equally confused, if not downright horrified, by many of the abovementioned customs.
Which begs the question, what keeps us living here?
Perhaps Americans desire to stay put, in spite of a heavily flawed electoral process, a convoluted healthcare system, and winter being dictated by a groundhog's shadow is the strangest American custom of them all...
More and more people rely on dating apps to meet prospective partners.
Hoping someone else will swipe right on their profile, leading to a mutual match, and possibly a stable relationship.
Indeed, some people find the love of their lives after only a few swipes and a few days of messaging.
Others, however, swipe for months, even years, without getting a single match, growing more and more frustrated by whatever algorithm they are beholden to.
Often leading lovesick individuals to wonder what exactly their chances are at finding love on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, or Scruff.
Or, for that matter, what the other people who search for love on apps or the internet are actually like, and if the person they've started chatting to are who they claim to be.
"Redditors that worked with a dating company Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, etc., what’s the most insane user stat or behind-the-scenes fact you found out about?"
Some Men...
"I have a friend who works for, I wanna say Tinder."
"Anyway, the company isn’t important; what is important is that her ENTIRE job is to remove inappropriate images."
"Her JOB is to look at d*ck pics all day."
"Five days a week."
"That’s all."
"No stat."
"Just a weird f**king job."- Lettuce-b-lovely
"I used to work at a dating site in the UK."
"I was on the tech side but most of the staff was a group of young women who manually approved images and text changes to profiles."
"There was about 10-15 of them and the turnover rate was about one a week."
"The work was just so mind numbing."
"About 10 times a day they'ed shout that they'd 'got another one'."
"Which basically meant one of the hundreds of thousands of men on the site has differently thought 'I've thought of something nobody else has tried, I'll upload a picture of my member' at which point they'd all laugh at it, cancel the profile upload and go back to reading about people's choice of pets or whatever else they thought was interesting."- mvrander
Catfishing, Much?
"My ex bf worked for the Yahoo Italy dating site back in the earlyish 2000s."
"His job was to pretend to be a woman, and message male customers just as their accounts were going to expire."
"This would encourage them to pay to renew their subscriptions."
"Once they renewed, he would ghost them."
"He only lasted for a few months due to how unethical it was."- visualisewhirledpeas
Hands Up Idk GIF by Catfish MTVGiphyThe Cold Hard Facts
"Guys swipe right on 47% of profiles. Women only swipe right on 12%."
"I knew some guys would swipe right more than women, wasn't prepared for how little women swipe right!"
"Searching for serious or casual relationships for men vs women:"
"61% of men want something serious while 38% want something casual."
"87% of women want something serious while only 13% want something casual."
"It's worth noting on that last one that it's partially because of a difference in how men and women would describe themselves if they're not sure."
"Women would rather say 'something serious' if they're not sure to see how something goes but happy for it to turn casual if they're not feeling it."
"While men would prefer to say 'something casual' and then happy for it to turn serious if they like them."
"This is why we've given in and added a 'not sure' option in our big update next week."
"Feedback on chats/users:"
"we're unique in that we only let you chat to three users at a time, so you have to end a chat to talk to someone new."
"When you end a chat you have to give (private feedback)."
"Here's some of the feedback people choose (you can pick more than one):"
"34% ghosted/didn't say anything."
"12% great chat."
"11% polite and respectful."
"11% not enough in common."
"8% no chemistry."
"8% hard to talk to."
"2% rude/inappropriate."
"Why people ghost."
"We call ourselves the anti-ghosting app because we notify you if someone replaces your chat with someone new, since you can only talk to three at a time."
"Doesn't stop rejection but at least you're not left wondering and waiting!"
"We did some research with users to find out why people ghost on dating apps, "they could choose more than one answer:"
"43% Avoid the awkwardness of saying I wasn’t interested."
"37% They said/did something I didn’t like."
"36% Was too busy and then it was too late."
"32% Couldn’t be bothered to keep replying."
"28% I forgot to reply."
"25% Couldn't think of a reply."
"23% Too many other people to respond to."
"22% I've never ghosted anyone!."
"6% Other."
"I'm the founder of a dating app."- elatedate
chris hemsworth tinder GIF by lunarpapacyGiphyA Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words... Plus More Swipes Right
"I ran operations for an online dating company, notably not affiliated with Match."
"From database analytics, I can tell you a few things."
"Men initiate contact around 80% of the time in straight matchmaking, and if you are a woman looking to date other women and you simply initiate contact with another woman you have a good chance of success simply because it's very very very common for women to match but then neither initiates contact."
"IIRC we were able to determine that it takes on average about 3 dates before sex happens."
'I don't recall how we worked that out, I'm not a data analyst, but presumably it was some keyword based algorithm looking at chat messages."
"We got so many requests for information from the police that we had an informal system with them, to save them from wasting time getting warrants for information about people who we didn't have data on, they would ask about a particular name/email/whatever other identifier and we would just say yes we have data about them or no we don't, and if we did they'd then go get the warrant to get a copy of it."
"The other thing I can tell you from our analytics, that really shouldn't be at all surprising, is to get some decent profile photos."
"Go get your talented friend or just hire a photographer to take some really nicely-lit well-composed photos of yourself and watch your match rate soar."- jamesinc
So Many People At A Loss For Words...
"I used to work at Bumble, although this was about 4-5 years ago."
"Globally, about 90% of the users are men, so there is a huge male to female disparity, although it's not that bad on a per country basis, for some countries."
"The most depressing stat though was the histogram of word count in messages."
"Something like 91% of opening messages were just one word 'hey', and 85% of conversations were just one exchange long.
"'hey' -> no reply ever."
"Looking at human, digital mating habits splayed out in data science form was really depressing."
"When I worked there, we were NOT allowed to read the content of chats, only gather metadata about them, word count, number of exchanges, but we could not build models which analyzed the content of chats."
"This chat was about food, this one was about holidays, this one was sexual."
"This was due to stringent GDPR draft rules/TOS/privacy rules at the time, and Bumble took user privacy very seriously, so chats were never read or analyzed for content, not even by automated models."
"However this was 4-5 years ago, and they may have amended their TOS since then to allow it, or they might be analyzing content for non-GDPR countries USA."
"Therefore, as others have pointed out, we don't know for sure that the word used most often was actually 'hey', it could have been 'hello' or 'howdy'."
"In the office, we always assumed it was 'hey' due to our own experiences on the app."
"But we did know with certainty that 91% of first messages used only a single word, so we guessed it was 'hey'."
"The countries which had better male-female ratios, which I can remember, were the Nordic ones, Sweden and Norway were close to 50/50, and for a time, one of them even had more women on the app than men."- trias10
What Are You Doing Whatever GIF by gifnewsGiphyPerhaps knowing this information might ease the minds of those dismayed by their lack of luck on dating apps.
Or, at the very least, encourage them to begin chats with more clever than a simple "hey".
Maybe that way, someone will finally respond.
...speaking for a friend....
We all want to help out our friends, and so when they ask a favor of us we are always ready and willing to help.
Well, maybe not always.
For sometimes, the favor in question might not exactly be helping assemble a bookshelf, or help move a sofa, but rather something a bit bizarre.
Possibly affecting our eagerness to help.
Redditor Tinyterex_ was curious to hear the strangest favors requested by friends of the Reddit community, leading them to ask:
"What is the worst/weirdest favor a friend has ever asked you for?"
We all scream for ice cream.
"Go to Doncaster, England, to pick-up an ice-cream van for a friend that he'd bought on eBay while he was in Australia."
"I said yes, and so it began..."
"Firstly he wired me £6000, which I withdrew in cash to pay for it."
"At the time this was the most money I'd ever held so I was a little nervous."
"My girlfriend then drove me down the M1 to Doncaster, and dropped me off at a house with a Pepto Bismol pink ice-cream van in the driveway."
'I knocked on the door and a jolly, gigantic man in dirty overalls opened the door and spent the next two hours with me as I learnt to strip and rebuild the Mr. Whippy ice-cream machine inside the van."
"I was thoroughly unprepared for this."
"I was also unprepared for the machine exploding in my face after loading it with the minimum 4 litres of UHT ice-cream mix."
"With slightly sour milk now liberally coating my clothes, and the light fading, the Friendly Ice-cream Giant talked me through the intricacies of starting and driving a 1973 Bedford ice-cream van."
"The ice-cream machine inside ran off the engine, rather than a generator like most do."
"So there was an elaborate set of linkages that transferred the engine power from the wheels to the machinery when engaged."
"They were also entirely exposed and directly where you would normally put your foot when driving."
"Lovely."
"The engine also didn't start on its own, you had to crack open the bonnet and spray a generous amount of combustable gas directly into the air intake before giving the accelerator a bloody good stomp."
"Fortunately, The F.I.G did this for me. He then let me drive it to the local petrol station to fill it up, during which time he also let me discover that the speedo, windscreen wipers and lights didn't really work."
"Oh, and neither did the fuel gauge."
"And, for some reason, the fuel cap was level with the tank, so you couldn't pump fuel into at more than a dribble or it all ran back out."
"This meant you had no real idea how much fuel was in it."
"But plenty to get it home, I was assured."
"After, sort of, filling it up, struggling to start it, and chugging home at an unknown, but very leisurely, pace, I paid him and we filled in some paperwork."
"At which point he let me know it was untaxed and, contrary to my friends belief, not exempt."
"So I'd be breaking the law driving it home."
"Which I now had to do."
"In the dark."
"With no real lights."
"Did I mention it had just started to rain?"
"But off I set, gingerly traversing the on-ramp to the busiest motorway in the UK, foot to the floor, wind whistling through the various holes in the bodywork."
"I had no idea how fast I was going, but from the waves and gestures I got from passing vehicles it definitely wasn't fast enough."
"I also realized I didn't know how good the brakes were."
"Or what condition the tires were in."
"And it was wet, very wet."
"And the off-ramp was downhill, with lights at the bottom."
"Oh goody, now there was smoke coming from the bonnet."
"By some miracle of agricultural engineering and blind faith I made it back to my flat, and parked the dreaded van in a visitors space."
"Where it sat for the next 3 months, as I gradually ate my way through the industrial sized box of Cadbury's flakes that were going out of date."
"Until my building management lost their sense of humor and forced my friend to come and get it or they'd have it towed away. because once he realized he'd bought a lemon, he was in no hurry to have it become his problem."
"But I'd do it all again."
"The joy you can give kids on boring car journey by hitting the ice-cream tune as they go past is brilliant."- Will-this-do
Ice Cream Truck GIF by Jordan McGrawGiphyA real friend puts up with all kinds of sh*t.... literally
"Not something a friend asked of me but something a friend offered to help with."
"Had a lingering smell of rotten sewage in the house."
"Was a bit short on money at the time so I called a buddy who can fix anything to see if he could figure it out."
"He identifies the issue right away and crawls under my house to find a previous owner used drano and must have not done a proper flush so it ate away the main sewer pipe."
"At least 6 months of sh*t, piss, and food was built up that was probably 4 inches deep."
"He went to his truck to put on his boilersuit and crawled through my girlfriends and my sh*t for 2 hours replacing the rotted pipe."
"I was down there with him trying to help however I could but he pretty much did the repair solo."
"Every time he encountered a thick chunk of poo he would yell up through the crawl hole that my girlfriend should ease off on the corn."
"Didn't phase him one bit and he wouldn't accept any form of payment even though I insisted I had to repay him somehow."
"Best friend I've ever had, this isn't the only example I could give about how great of a friend he is but definitely the wildest."
"Dan the man, you the real MVP if you ever see this."- COYFC
"I became friends with a female coworker as I was dating a guy who was friends with her boyfriend at the time."
"She had this weird thing about not pooping around him to the point when they eventually did long distance she would visit him for the weekend and hold it in the ENTIRE TIME."
"We planned a trip together and shared a hotel room with all four of us."
"While her and I were getting ready to go out, she pulled me aside and told me she had to poop so bad but didn’t want to be in the bathroom alone because everyone would know she was pooping."
"She asked me to stay in the bathroom with her while she took a sh*t so it would just seem like we were doing our make up."
"I kid you not, it stank so bad that I’m 100% sure the guy smelled it in the room anyways and we both just looked like weirdos who poo together."- titsout666
But who helped him bury it?
"To 'un bury his boat' no other information was given, I said yes and turns out he thought that burying his boat in one of our cornfields would help protect it over the winter because 'it wouldn’t get snowed on cause it underground'."- EatingH_tlersB_oty
digging spring fever GIFGiphyThe "big cheese" indeed...
To borrow my truck to 'get the cheese'."
"He drives a Tahoe, I have no clue how much cheese he was getting."- Zpitfire_MK_VI
Keep your property off mine!
"Neighbour asked if they could put a dead rat in our bin because they didn't want to put it in theirs."- HungInSarfLondon
An underground operation gone wrong...
"Back in the old days, had a paranoid friend pay me good money to rent out and dupe porn vhs tapes because he didn't want a record of him renting them out."
"His logic: if he ever became famous he didn't want a record of him renting out porn tapes."
"Postscript: he never became famous."- jacklord392
Was that really the reason?
"Give my friend a hickie to get his ex-girlfriend jealous."- MagicianHairy3459
Best Friends Cats GIFGiphyWho says chivalry is dead.
"A friend in highschool used to call me when she had nightmares."
"I would sneak out my window, wait for her go to her house and hold her while she slept, 6-7 hours."
"Then she would bring me home before my parents woke up."
"Same girl would also ask if it was ok to refer to me as her boyfriend if a guy creeped her out."- FriendshipDelicious8
A plan almost literally for the birds.
"Alright, pretty tame one here, but it felt weird for the boundaries."
"In High School, a girl I rarely spoke to came up to me one day in lunch and asked for help."
"She was always soft spoken."
"I wouldn't say shy, but very gentle and a little quiet."
"She explained that she had an opportunity to buy a pet bird, a sort of once-in-a-lifetime chance, but she didn't have quite enough money for it."
"At the end of the day, she was asking to borrow $100 for a bird."
"For a High Schooler, a hundred bucks was a sh*tload of money - but... I had been working, and had hidden some bills away to buy something for myself."
"So, being the sneaky (read: not) teenagers that we were, I snuck $100 into school the next day, and very sneakily (read: not) I handed over the envelope to her during lunch break."
"It was like a spy operation pulled off by 6-year-olds."
"I mostly remember feeling anxious that someone would notice and steal it off of her."
"A few days later, she came back and explained that it didn't work out - I don't know what happened, exactly."
"But she gave me back a bunch of bills, I think it was something like $5 short, but I was impressed, pleased as can be, and sympathetic that it hadn't worked out with the bird."
"I'd say that was a pretty good experience all around, though I was sure I was absolutely crazy at the moment for tossing money to someone I never spent time with."
"I ended up dating her niece a year or two later, they were only a year apart in age, though at this point I haven't much spoken to anyone in that family for a long, long time."
"Hope they're all doing well."- xRocketman52x
Show Me The Money GIF by La Guarimba Film FestivalGiphyThat she would even ask is strange...
"I started texting a friend of mine, and we keep making plans to hang out, but it just hasn’t happened."
"Anyway, I haven’t actually SEEN her for several years, despite us living pretty close, so as you can tell, we aren’t exactly best friends."
"Her last text to me was that she needed a favor and that she needs someone she can trust."
"I feel kind of bad, but I haven’t responded."
"Why am I, someone she hasn’t hung out with for six years, the person she can trust?"
"I have some of my own stuff going on, and I just don’t think I can mentally take on anything else right now."
"Reading these posts, I’m wondering if any of these favors are like the one she wants to ask of me."
"And possibly looking for validation as I feel bad not responding, but I just have this feeling that no good will come of doing this favor, whatever it is."- screaming_ot_inside
Might want someone with more experience
"For advice for a wedding."
"I was very nervous since I haven’t been to one."- AverageRedditUser965
GiphyRoutine maintenance...
"To sleep with him so he can know if his d*ck was functioning."- Last-Technician3835
Better friends when at a distance.
"A friend who was toxic but managed to heal, but not before she asked me to send her dad “can [her name] play on the freeway with matches?”
"On the freeway was the name for a game of kicking the soccer ball, which we conveniently named matches, against the wall."
"Dad said yes."
"Friend stopped being an a**hat to me after her dad lost custody of her and she found a new place to live."- deadmemesdeaderdream
An almost unwitting accomplice.
"Not me but my sister."
"Her (now ex) friend has always had a rough life that I don’t know much about, but I know she’s struggled with alcoholism and abusive relationships."
"Really unfortunate and awful stuff."
"She has two boys pretty young, one elementary school age the other a toddler."
"She calls my sister one day and sounds really winded, frantic, asking her to pick her and the boys up because they got in a wreck and she needs the ride home."
"My sister gets there and the car is really banged up."
"Like completely totaled."
"So she’s pulling up on the scene when 4 or 5 cop cars come rolling up, sirens on, full criminal treatment."
"Her friend has driven drunk with her kids in the car, no seatbelts."
"When she got into an accident she took her kids and started running down the street to avoid getting arrested, and pissed herself because she was so drunk."
"She nearly made my sister and accessory and could’ve gotten her charges with some serious sh*t.'
"My sister isn’t the best but she stays away from that kinda stuff."
"Needless to say they don’t talk any Ore and probably won’t ever again, which is sad because they grew up together.''- r43b1ll
Bizarre as many of these favors are, one will effortfully lower their raised eyebrow and muster up the courage to do it, on the assumption that this friend would do the same for you.
Then too, sometimes getting a bizarre request might actually indicate just how good a friend some people actually are...
Have you ever found yourself in a conversation, when someone brings up a topic they aren't too familiar with, but you are?
This gives you the opportunity to sweep in and share your knowledge on the subject.
While one would imagine that your relative expertise on the subject might result in thanks and appreciation, more often than not, the reaction from your friends is "why do you know that?"
Awkward as it may feel at the moment, there are very few people who don't carry some unusual areas of expertise and trivia on subjects most others are most likely unfamiliar with.
Redditor quadruple_b was curious to learn the random facts others have shared which wound up bringing their conversations to a halt, leading them to ask:
What is a really weird fact, that makes people say "why do you know that?"
Octopuses... they're just like us
"Octopuses are usually very antisocial but when they’re under the influence of ecstasy they are more willing to spend time around each other or even hug other octopuses."- Stab_That_Ukulele
The body compensates
"When you are starving, and have little body fat left, your body can grow almost fur-like hair to insulate itself in absence of fat."- A_Stupid_Fish29
"Your body’s normal functions can slow down to accommodate organ disease."
"For example, I have 40% lung function, but my O2 is completely normal at 98% saturation."
"They didn’t discover any lung disease until I had a ct scan done for other reasons and my lungs happened to show up in that."- nocturnal_numbness
What this would do for humanity!
"Cheetahs are so genetically similar that supposedly you can draw blood from one and inject it straight into another one without any health issues in the receiving animal."
"I.E. no blood type or clotting factor variations."- 0ttr
big cats cat GIF by BBC EarthGiphySo strange, that it makes perfect sense?
"Coca-Cola can help with blood stains."- Buzzed_Woody
Good thing they don't need a toilet...
"Guinea pigs average pooping around 100 times a day."- morgandanso
Um...
"In Phoenix, Arizona, you are legally allowed to bury a dead body on your property without asking for permission/getting a permit/etc."
"The city asks that you contact them beforehand so they can send someone out to stake for gas/electric lines, but it’s not required."- hedalexa12
digging sarah chalke GIFGiphyWho wouldn't?
"If provided with a mirror, dolphins will admire their own genitals."- Cymiril
The brain is a delicate creature
"There is a chemical called MPTP that specifically destroys dopaminergic neurons in the brain."
"About 3 days after someone ingests it, they get Parkinson's disease."- SheilaBoof
Gruesome with good intentions?
"In the 1960s or 70s, the Swiss Air Force dropped severed chicken heads all over the forests of Switzerland."
"The chicken heads contained the rabies vaccine, and the airdrop was to vaccinate wild foxes against rabies."- EnormousPurpleGarden
fennec fox GIFGiphyMakes you think twice about randomly plotted plants...
"If you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants so no one digs it up."- milkmankarl
This is why you don't play with your food
"Mayonnaise is flammable, and ketchup can be made into bombs."-- EGG_EGG_EGG_EGGG
I guess it's OK if it's in his own time?...
'My doctor at the GP is know in my town for violently masturbating between patients."
"It’s just something everyone knows but just ignores and accepts."- Waltz2496
Laying false claims!
"The dodo wasn’t hunted by the Dutch."
"It was by animals brought by the Dutch."
'Arizona has London bridge, despite literally being called London bridge, it was moved to Lake Havasu, Arizona."- ArizonanCactus
London GIF by Cinecom.netGiphyThey're watching us...
"The NSA has a secret HQ in the middle of downtown NYC."
"They built it inside of a creepy skyscraper less than a mile from the World Trade Center.'
"Check out this video for more info."- Affectionate-Can-224
In case you wonder why it's taking so long...
'Most scaffolding in NYC isn't meant for construction."
"It's just sitting there to fulfill an inspection requirement."- Affectionate-Can-224
They were also often confused for sea serpents...
'A whales penis is 8 feet long or meters, can’t remember."- BenefitImpressive205
You have to wonder how he found that out?...
"Not mine, but Formula 1 driver Valterri Bottas knows that average penis size of a beaver to the mm."- tm2007
Let's hope these aren't related...
"So a pack of pirahnas can devour a child in under 5 minutes."
' Anyways, I was fired from the Aqarium yesterday."- MioncB
Ain't that a trip...
"A woman named Margaret Howe Lovatt had a sexual encounter with a dolphin during NASA-funded research in the '60s after the dolphine was dosed with LSD."- johnslegers
Happy Brain GIFGiphyOne never knows when learning this newfound information might become useful.
Especially for parents of children eager to buy a Guinea Pig...
Animals are sources of endless fascination.
Particularly in their natural habitat.
But while most people like to admire animals from afar, others like to know more about what goes on when they're not being watched.
And more often than not, what they find is shocking, to say the least.
Redditor Shoggy was eager to learn the most out there, unbelievable facts people have learned about various animals, leading them to ask:
What are some f**ked up animal facts?
Stealth killers.
"A polar bear will calmly stalk up to you and start eating you alive without roaring or charging."
"Like how you would just walk across the kitchen to pick up an apple and start eating while going about your day."
"No drama, no theatrics, just murder."- Malphos101.
Polar Bear Food GIF by BBC AmericaGiphyOne way to blow off a date.
"Female dragonflies fake their deaths and crash to the ground and play dead when stalked by an unwelcome lover."- SuvenPan.
Body and soul
"Put simplistically, male angler fish bite into and get absorbed by the female during mating."-tagibear.
They call them "killer whales" for a reason.
"Orcas are one of the very few apex predators of the ocean."
"They’ll actually hunt great white sharks, rip them open and eat their livers (and sometimes heart) as a sort of ocean delicacy."- TheRestForTheWicked.
"Killer whales will slap a seal into the air resulting in them dying from the fall just because."
"Not to get food or defense, but just because they’re bored."- FuzzyRoach642.
Something to keep in mind before kissing...
"Lobsters pee out of their faces."- NotACyclopsHonest.
Something that weird looking can't be real.
"The Royal Society thought that a taxidermied platypus was a prank when they saw the first one."
"Apparently naturalists would frequently send each other frankenstein'd abominations for goofs."- bjanas.
Speedy emasculation
"Camels have specially evolved canine teeth for the express purpose of biting off balls of other male camels- OneNastyJaguar.
wildlife camel GIFGiphy"Let's get ready to rumble!"
"In Tasmanian Devil mating season, the male has to beat the female into submission."
If he fails, the female beats the male up."- bugboyjohnny.
A very brief time on this earth
"The honeybees you see in your yard are in the last 2 to 3 weeks of their lives."- Fit-Environment-8140.
Fascinating facts indeed.
Though, after learning some of these facts, best to behold these creatures within the safety of a zoo or aquarium.
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