The reddit thread asks:
Redditors of Reddit, what's the most disgusting birthday party ever you have attended?
... we're going to be honest, we were not ready for this much heartbreak and vomit.
Left Out At Her Own Party
Depends on your meaning of disgusting.
I get invited to this girl's house for a party in 4th grade. She was nice, but also wasn't popular and got teased a lot.
Anyway, everyone in our class got invited, and sure enough a lot of the popular, louder kids came to the party. The evening itself had a few set activities as far as I can remember, but nothing concrete.
This did not end up well.
After the cake was served and everyone sang happy birthday, everybody pretty much said f*ck it and did their own thing. Ignoring the birthday girl and her mother's attempts to try to get the party on track. I remember overhearing the girl crying to her mother, and the mother saying to her they wouldn't have a party at home next year.
I can't imagine how sh*tty her parents felt. Nobody should have to go through that.
Thanks, Bro
drunk candy GIF by OriginalsGiphyMy birthday falls pretty soon after Christmas and, still, technically, within the UK pantomime season*. So, for my eighth birthday we went down the local theatre, my mum, two siblings and five or so mates in tow, for the last performance of Jack and the Beanstalk.
My mum had lovingly made goody bags for us all, crammed to the brim in sweet, sugary goodness and we settled into our row.
My brother, fat little six year old piestacker that he was, inhaled all his sweets in a frenzy before the curtain even raised and promptly projectile vomited an acrid mess of barely chewed gummy worms and melted candy f*cking everywhere. Repeated a couple more times then sat there howling.
No f*cking way my mum was going to stay sitting in the mortification of this all in the newly vomit scented seats. We were hurried out to the foyer, placed in the care of an unfortunate usher as my mum tried to beseech them, in her complete embarrassment, to give her a cleaning bucket so she could go get rid of the evidence.
They denied her request and insisted on doing it themselves (just wanted us gone in all likelihood) whilst I'm now furious because my pig of a little brother has ruined my birthday.
Piggy brother is still howling and the foyer is chaotic with confused children. Seven year old sister took a book out her bag and decided to read until the drama calmed down. Always calm and sensible that one.
We picked up KFC on the ride back and watched the Jungle Book at home instead.
I'll be 33 soon enough. Has my brother lived it down? Nope.
Birthday Bullying
I got invited to a birthday party just to get bullied.
I kept begging the parents to call my mom so I could go home and they thought I was just being a cry baby. All I remember is the kids saying I couldn't play with them and all kinds of other mean stuff which made me cry.
When I asked the parents to call my mom they all laughed and said I needed to stop crying and just go play. They probably just couldn't possibly believe their kids would ever do anything wrong. you know how some parents are.
They said I wasn't allowed to sleep with them, and the birthday bully wouldn't let me sleep with the rest of the party, so I had to sleep in her little brothers room.
I told my mom and she was so mad. I had to beg her not to call the birthday girls mom because I was afraid of getting bullied more over it.
So Unbearably Cringe
One person showed up to my 7th grade birthday party and I just wished she didn't.
It felt like it was way more sad and awkward than if no one showed and I could just cancel the whole thing. Instead, she showed up out of sheer pity and I barely knew her, which was really awkward. I had to practically beg her to come and she clearly did not want to be there.
The whole thing was kinda made worse by my mom even though my mom didnt intend it. She kept asking over and over, during my own party, why no more kids showed up.
I had to lie to her the rest were late. Meanwhile, conversation consisted of hat girl saying "yeah ok..." and various monosyllabic responses to me while constantly giving me a look of absolute pity and awkwardness, like literally, her longest sentence to me was "well I mean I'm here. So I can go now, right?".
or Me desperately trying to find any topic of convo, any, that would yield an actual response from her
or My mom constantly trying to insert herself into our interactions. That last point was quite bad too because my mom kept trying to quiz us on the friendship we didn't have.
We literally had to make sh*t up for my mom. She acted like this girl and I have been besties for years, when literally my mom only heard her name for the first time on that day itself.
It was so unbearably cringe. My mom was just trying to be nice, but straight up it looked crazy because she was trying too hard and this girl was clearly a stranger to both of us.
The girl only looked happy when she managed to flee, I then told my mom that no one else is showing up yes only one person showed up to my f*ckin party now please leave me alone. Then I locked myself in my room and cried. Fun times.
It's been years and my mom still talks about that girl she saw once as if we had been best friends lmaooo.
- ramune_0
So Much McPuke
I was 8 or 9 at the moment, one of my best friends invited me to their party.
The McDonalds where my friend hosted the party was very small, so there was 20+ kids and adults in a small cramped room, covered in black.
Everything was fine until before lunch. The room was hot as hell and I had a lot of clothes on. At that time I struggled with my blood sugar.
I was hungry, being cooked alive and felt horrible. I went to a bathroom to vomit, and there was a massive crap in there, which made me vomit fast.
Then I came back ate lunch and then we ate cake.
I had to leave early because a young cousin of my friend threw up everywhere and we all had to leave the room, ending the party.
Black Tie Toddler
I went to a birthday party for a five-year old that said "black tie" on the (engraved) invitation.
They had miniature horses, a full size elephant, a chocolate fountain, FOUR clowns, a dance crew, and a martini bar for the adults. The parents gleefully told me that it cost them over $100,000.
It was gross.
Dad Remembers It Differently
hardly art silly string GIF by TacocatGiphyI was once assaulted by a firing squad of classmates who I was forced to invite to my party.
They were armed with silly string. That was, for some reason .supposed to be a gift for me. I think it was my 5th or 6th birthday?
They blew through about 12 cans of the stuff at once. I still despise silly string and I recently learned my dad had the delusion that it was a good time for me.
- CLTalbot
Baby Heimlich
A slightly different kind of disgusting.
I went to a one year olds first birthday and they got her a smash cake and she choked on it and they had to give her the baby version of the Heimlich and everything and it was super scary and everyone was freaking out.
The baby eventually vomited up the cake (thank god!) and then just kept vomiting everywhere for the next five minutes while her mom hugged her and cried.
Needless to say it ended shortly after. It was more scary than disgusting, but all the puke was gross I guess... yet it was so good to see the puke cuz it meant she was breathing again!
A Little Birthday Racism
My cousin is black in a mostly white family. During her birthday BBQ, one of her uncles said "let me put makeup on you!" and rubbed coal on her face.
Just...
A friend invited me to his friend´s party. My friend didn´t show up and I was stuck at this kid´s party and I didn´t know anyone. Kid´s family, the dad in particular, is very racist and fit the redneck stereotype (I´m non-white). Ended very badly with the father yelling racial slurs at ten year old me.
"It Was Disgusting, But I'm Competitive"
Well now I feel like a weirdo that people are talking about kids birthdays...
I went to a stripper themed birthday party. She even had a pole installed and a competition where guests had Monopoly money to give people who did the best. I won 3rd place.
It was disgusting but I'm competitive so I couldn't help it.
The Deal I Made To Myself
My ex polyamorous gf.
She is a bartender who never had a problem drinking me under the table, but on her birthday she got so drunk and held nothing back that it bothered me so much.
It wasn't an "it's my party" attitude, but the way she spoke to everyone (including me) reeked of desperation and megalomania - a side I had never seen in her for the two years we were dating.
We would go out and meet others together from time to time and I had never gotten jealous, but that night it was as if she was grasping and desperately trying to freely hook up.
My feelings broke the deal I made to myself and I ended it not to long after.
Cake Smash
happy birthday GIF by KehlaniGiphyWent to a friend's 11th birthday party. Everything went smoothly for a while and there were no problem, but when they brought out the cake and cut it up, his mother decided to jokingly smash his face into his slice.
He turned around and full-on punched her in the face. Gave her a bloody nose.
Needless to say, all hell broke loose with every adult screaming and yelling at him, and the party was called off.
I later got the present I gave him back in the mail. It was part of his punishment.
Inviting 8th Grade
One of my own was pretty disgusting.
I went to private school and absolutely hated it for so many reasons, mostly for being bullied for being the one and only "goth kid." I wanted to invite 3 or 4 friends over for my birthday. My mom always had a rule that if I invite anyone, I have to invite everyone in my class. Since I had multiple teachers for the first time, I had to invite the entire 8th grade.
So I told my actual friends they could come early so we could chill alone. We had the neighborhood pool right outside our house. My mom made a bunch of food and decorated my cake. Me and my friends were chillin, blasting Nirvana and Green Day, and swimming. We were just having fun and being our normal dorky selves.
Eventually the rich preppy kids showed up, including the really popular ones and my bullies I didn't expect to show up at all. Things were okay at first with mega hyper 8th graders. Then my mom walked over with the cake, we sang, and some of the kids wanted to eat other snacks before cake. So I suggested we should wait to eat the cake to make sure that everyone can have some. Everyone decided that was cool. My mom went back to the house.
Then, one kid decided it would be funny to get a huge handful of sour cream and onion dip and throw it at his friend. The friend was like wtf and went over to do the same thing back. Cue a disgusting sour cream and onion, salsa, cheese dip, guacamole, and whatever else fight BY THE POOL. Me and my friends are standing there like wtf is going on, all of us to shy to even know what to say. I just started to ignore them and count down the time until the party was over.
That wasn't the worst part.
Next some little sh*t grabbed the uncut Nightmare Before Christmas cake my mom hand decorated and spent hours baking/decorating on. This guy grabbed THE ENTIRE CAKE and smashed it onto the torso of his friend, knocking said friend backwards into the pool. All the bags of chips were then thrown about, dumped onto kids in the pool, etc.
I had f*cking tears in my eyes. I didn't even like most of these kids because of how rude they are at school, and now they just destroyed my cake and just being annoying and selfish. Hardly anyone even said bye or anything else to me the entire party.
My mom came over at the end of it and looked at me in disbelief. I was crying (because teenage girl lol) and she got pretty mad, even getting mad at me for not stopping them.
I was so awkward and painfully shy back then, I didn't even know what to do or say. I was mostly upset about the cake, not because I wanted any, but because my mom used to make cakes professionally and was always really into it. I always loved looking at my birthday cakes and appreciated how much effort she put into it. I love art, and it was one of the rare times each year I could see her artistic side.
So yeah. That sucked. I had to clean up everything, including the disgusting mishmash of dip, soggy chips, and cake out of the pool as best as I could.
My mom got rid of the "you have to invite everyone" rule after that.
The First Time I Met His Mom
I was about 14 and at my friend's apartment for his 15th birthday. His parents were divorced and he lived with his dad at the apartment. There were about about 6 of us boys there playing video games. About half way through the party his mom comes by to visit, and she was extremely drunk. This was the first time I had met his mom. After wishing her son a happy birthday, she started making sexual advances towards me and some of the other boys at the party. I felt so embarrassed for my friend.
Cue The Ambulance
My own at around 9 I think. One of my friends was leaning back in a chair and fell backwards into a wall. We all laughed because he seemed fine but then he put a hand on the back of his head and it came off covered in blood. He'd split his head wide open because he fell into a corner.
Cue the ambulance and several kids freaking out. One threw up. It was pretty gross.
But my birthday was the talk of the school next day. Friend was fine once he got stitches.
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But not every kid had that privilege of getting whatever their hearts desired.
Sometimes, they got what they needed – like clothes. Lots and lots of clothes.
I remember frowning upon a knitted sweater I got for Christmas and a pair of olive-colored corduroy pants when all I really wanted was an Atari gaming console.
Curious to know what strangers missed out on getting as kids, Redditor Notworththinknabout asked:
"What's that one present you wanted to get as a kid but never actually got?"
ASIMO Is Not For Sale
"I really wanted a Honda robot. I found out Honda had built a robot and I asked for one for Christmas because I assumed they were mass produced."
The Day The Music Died
"An electric guitar and one day I found one hidden in the back of my fathers wardrobe. I was so excited and then Xmas day comes around and I got, well I can't even remember what I got but it wasn't an electric guitar. Turns out it was a present for our neighbours kid and my parents were hiding it away so the kid didn't find it prior to Xmas day. I can feel the sadness again writing this."
A Worthy Substitute
"A doodle bear."
"So I just used my brother instead- took ages for mum to get the sharpie off him."
Scanning Thingy
"I really, really wanted something called a Barcode Battler. You could scan the barcode on any item and it would give it a sort of 'top trumps' style score which I presume you could then battle with your friends over?"
"I was obsessed with getting one. I would never shut up about it. Whenever an amount of money was discussed I would chip in with stuff like 'that's the same as 3 Barcode battlers'."
"None of my friends had one, so I don't even know what I intended to do with it, looking back. I'd just seen an advert on Saturday morning TV and decided I must have it."
"My mum never got me one, I think I ended up with a SuperSoaker. My friends DID have those, and we had great fun with them. If I'd had my way, I'd have been sitting in the corner scanning random items with my Barcode Battler while they partook in giant SuperSoaker wars."
"Cheers mum, for saving me from myself."
Egon Spengler Action Figure
"Egon from Ghostbusters. The Ghostbusters toys were the only toys I had as a kid that weren't hand-me-downs or cheap knock-offs, so they were always special to me. I had Peter, Ray and Winston, I had the Fright Features figures, I had the Ghostbusters tower, I had the Ecto 2 helicopter, and the kid who lived next door had Ecto 1 and the proton pack which I could play with all the time, but I never had Egon. Even when I specifically asked my mum to buy Egon for me, she came back with another Winston. I had two Winstons."
"Years later (we're talking late 2000s here), my sister was in some charity shop and she found an Egon figure in a bucket of random action figures. She remebered that I never had him as a kid and bought it for me. It was such a silly thing, but it meant so much to me."
GIF by Ghostbusters GiphyWhen Daddy Forgot
"When I was really young I wanted this mermaid Barbi my father even promised to buy it but forgot which one it was and he brought me a fairy doll instead when he went to buy the mermaid doll they said they were out of stock and I never saw it again after that."
The Toy That Taught You Responsibility
"A Tamagotchi. I've put it on every Christmas and birthday presents lists for years, never got any. My parents didn't even discuss it with me or asked what it was."
commercial 90s GIFGiphyNever Too Old To Doodle
"The 64 Crayola crayon pack."
"And yes, I bought it for myself at age 34."
The Legendary Defender
"Voltron. Always got Voltron related stuff but never the actual robot."
Christmas Wish Unfulfilled
"I was 15 all I wanted was a Macklemore hoodie. I told my parents if that's all I got for Christmas I would be happy. Never happened."
– Fia__
This One Didn't Workout
"There used to be this Superman muscle blow up shirt that you could press a button and inflate fake muscles on yourself. Always wanted that, had to settle for a regular superman costume."
"I remember being pretty upset it didn't blow up, but in retrospect my parents were really struggling as immigrants. And i'm eternally grateful for what they did for me as a kid to the best that they could have. Love you Mom and Dad <3"
It's A Liability
"I've always wanted roller skates since I was little. They never bought them because I could break a bone or something."
Revved Up And Nowhere To Go
"A motorcycle, my dad promised me one for my 16th birthday. We'll in my thirties now, still waiting..."
– U_cabrao
The Problem With Foam Balls
"NERF made something called the Ballzooka. It was a multi chambered gun that shot foam balls. I wanted one so bad but when my birthday and then Christmas rolled around, my parents claimed they could never find one and that they were out of stock. When I was in my 20s, my dad revealed that they didn't want to spend the money because they figured I'd lose the foam balls in a few days and stop playing with it. Honestly, they're probably right."
