Redditor Frero_s wanted to discuss all the lessons they learned from the people they dated in the beginning, so they asked:
"What did you learn from your first relationship?"
My first love taught me to watch out for love.
Next to Godliness
snow white cleaning GIFGiphy"Compatibility with household cleanliness and organization habits is far more important than you think. Relationships where one partner cares a lot more about the household than the other will result in both parties resenting each other."
EdgyGoose
Firsts
“'When someone shows you who they are, believe them, the first time.' -Maya Angelou, several years after I learned that lesson the hard way, but I could never phrase it better."
"Going hand in hand with that, you can’t fix someone else, especially someone who’s given up on themselves. You can only put that kind of energy and effort into yourself and expect to see returns. That one took me a couple or three ill-advised relationships, truthfully."
Some_Specialist_5052
The One
"You're going to get your heart broken sometimes. That my friends is life."
MrDadBod
"I prefer to think that most relationships will end, but that doesn’t make them failures. You can learn things and grow as a person in many relationships, even ones that end poorly."
"You can make mistakes by staying in them too long, ending them too soon, treating your partner badly, or allowing yourself to be treated badly, but calling them failures is such a limited perspective. Most people that find 'the one' probably would have 'failed' in that relationship if they had no prior relationships to learn from."
whomeverwiz
Not Enough
"It's not enough to love someone; the way that love is expressed matters a lot. For a great relationship, you have to love your partner in the way they need to be loved."
NoodleWeird
"And this takes practice too! Patience at the beginning of a relationship is important. Don't just assume you know each other from the inside out in the beginning, and take time to understand where each person is coming from."
ChimkenFinger
"That's the principle of the Five Love Languages. Do and say the things of the love language your partner most connects to."
LucidWebMarketing
Let it Go
let it go GIFGiphy"That some people aren’t meant for you. Don’t wait for them to be somebody they aren’t and don’t try to change them to fit what you want them to be."
Elegant-Vehicle7314
The only change we can focus on is our own.
As a couple, it's about changing together.
Otherwise move on.
Lies
Three Little Pigs Wow GIF by LaffGiphy"Sometimes the words 'I love you' don’t actually mean much when the person saying them doesn’t believe in those words anymore."
GodofWar1234
Perfect
"Well, I didn't have my first relationship until I was 30 which ended up in marriage and eventually divorce. The biggest lesson I took from it was that waiting for that 'perfect' person was a complete waste of time. I had a very difficult time dating when I was younger. I put too much pressure on each date for it to be something special."
"The marriage taught me that I could actually be desirable and gave me confidence going forward. The divorce, on the other hand, made me a much more guarded and uncaring person. Turns out the uncaring part made it easier to go on dates (less anxiety) but harder for them to mean anything later on."
Boromn
Thank you, Katie...
"Make your own decisions about what you want out of life your instead of those that line up with what she wants out of her life."
"Almost followed a girl to Portland, OR, and took a job I didn't really want because I wanted to make 'us' work. So happy she cared enough about me to end things and tell me to find my own path. A wife, a successful military career, and a bunch of kids later, I'm eternally grateful things turned out the way they did. Thank you, Katie."
thethrillamanila
Want better for YOU!
"To never chase or beg anyone to stay."
DarlinggD
"My first gf broke up with me over text right after she had left my place, walked her home even though we were both upset at each other. She refused to talk about it in person and then got mad at me for not fighting to keep her. I think I dodged a bullet because I don't think any relationship will work if one party refuses to communicate, uses breaking up to try to manipulate, or breaks up over text. All 3 in this case."
LumberWand
Under Pressure
Fuck You Season 4 GIF by FriendsGiphy"Someone can be a really good friend, doesn’t mean they’ll be a good partner. Also not to give in to pressure from your partner on things you believe in."
Rebel_0518
See your worth
"Apparently I get too attached which is odd to me cause I’m just trying to care and I suppose it comes off in a weird way. I’m not gonna stop 'cause I know someone will see my worth and appreciate every second of it when they find me."
Odd_Imagination_6617
"Please don’t ever stop caring. There are enough emotionally detached people in the world; so much so that they’ll have you feeling like you’re the oddball."
Queasy_Thought_6532
Big lessons here.
Relationships take way more than love.
Learn it young.
Every group has soulless people among them. It's all in the numbers.
Not so Chill
Scared Spider Web GIF by XboxGiphy"Minecraft community, especially twitter. Minecraft is like the chillest game ever but the people who are into Minecraft youtube stuff are a whole new level of deranged."
AV8ORboi
Crunched
"Crunchy mums/hippie mums/gentle parenting groups. They seem lovely, but it typically winds up being a judgemental pissing contest over who is the best parent in the world."
Arugula-Current
"As a gentle parenting and somewhat crunchy mom I can't fit into these groups either. Inevitably there's a crunchy mom who believes sunshine and vitamin c cure covid, or a hippy mom who wants to organize a protest at chic-fi-la, but most of them just talk trash about everybody that's different from them."
"ALL Christians are bad (I'm an atheist and I know plenty of lovely Christians). I don't get why people have to be so black and white like that. I will say that I can't deal with moms being sh*tty to their kids by either yelling or being manipulative assholes so I will leave a group if that behavior is being condoned. Guess that's where my judgment comes in... verbal, mental or physical abuse are not my things."
spelunkilingus
The Scene
"Cosplay and it's not even close!"
judgedavid90
I love making cosplays and wearing them, but last time I went to a convention, I realized I'd just become too old for the 'cosplay scene.'"
"I literally don't care that X broke up with Y so Z and W got into a fight because they sided with different people but Z and W had a matching cosplay planned and now V has taken W's place in making the cosplay and X made a group chat to mock V's cosplays and... like Jesus, it never stops. I just want to dress up as Jinx and take pictures. Leave me out of your teenage drama."
DansMaLigneDeMire
Narrarives
"Body positive community has some surprisingly negative people. My friend who at some point lost a lot of weight and got into exercising realized she was no longer welcome there. Not because she tried to tell other people to lose weight or started sharing dieting tips, but because her experience with obesity and her body did not match the preferred narrative."
foxmachine
Yeah Right
Incredulous Yeah Right GIF by Nick CannonGiphy"Any workplace that describes itself as 'like a family.'"
jasmminne
"What they really mean is the Manson family."
SeldomSeenMe
That workplace one is a golden rule of life.
No Solutions
Giphy"Chemistry enthusiasts. It's all reaction videos involving highly toxic substances."
venbrou
"It boils down to being a pretty caustic community. Not sure if there is a solution before it implodes."
DitDashDashDashDash
Be Well
"The yoga/wellness scene. the pandemic was actually kinda handy at showing you which yoga teachers to stay the hell away from. The big things are of course, the anti-scientific views on medicine, but it’s also a breeding ground for cult leaders and grifters."
ilmalaiva
"I agree! It’s so unfortunate because I love yoga, but so many instructors (in the western world I suppose) are awful. My least favorite is when I feel like I’m being given a stern lecture on vulnerability lmao."
soapdishlunch
Extremists
"NoFap community."
"If the community stayed true to their original purpose, to quit porn, it wouldn't be toxic at all. But I'd say there are a lot of extremist people there, like people who say masturbation is evil and you must be fully abstinent unless you get a one night stand with a 10/10 because you did X number of days, or just plain conspiracies about the whole world view. The problem is this kind of posts never get removed."
the_living_paradox00
Popped
"The Kpop community? They be like heeeyyyy come enjoy this and the next minute tear you apart because you didn’t pick their favorite member."
allmylovingxx
"Yess! especially the whole locals things. when people that aren't into Kpop find a song that they like, people will tear them apart for listening to Kpop, telling them to name all the members of a group (obvi not talking about those weird thirst traps made by TikTokers)."
girlcrushjeongyeon
Intense
Super Mario Mate GIFGiphy"For whatever God forsaken reason, Paper Mario. I have gotten more death threats from Paper Mario fans than any other Fandom. I posted about it maybe three times, max. About how I liked the games, specifically."
GladOkumuraGotShot
"Mario fandom is freaking intense. Critikal made a video about huge fight in YouTube comments that started with which Mario song is better."
Falchen_
Not everybody is a good person, even when it looks like they are.
I love me some shade. I love throwing it and hearing it. Tell me more...
Ouch
shade GIF by WE tvGiphy“'I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you.'”
YourUncleBenny69
Duh
"'You aren't the dumbest person in the world, but you better hope they don't die.'"
needs_grammarly
"This is the most brutal one."
MeasurementAwkward89
"Guess this means I gotta protect you at all costs."
5irJeff
Get it?
"One I use in retail occasionally... I can explain this to you but I can't understand it for you."
TAaccountfor2021
"As a fellow retail manager, I feel that in my bones. I manage a large gun store, so I deal with a lot of idiots (frightening, I know)."
"There are times when people try to argue with me about things that involve federal law, and get mad at me when I won’t commit willful violations of said federal law that could cost the store its license to lawfully do business. I usually will end things with, 'I’m sorry you feel that way, because it means that we can no longer do business. I hope you find the answers you’re looking for elsewhere.'"
Congrats?
"You are the human equivalent of a participation trophy."
JJISHERE4U
"A participation trophy is a trophy given to someone in a contest who didn't actually win anything but would have been butthurt if they came away empty-handed."
dhaerlkl
Gene Kelly Envy GIF by filmeditorI am LIVING for all of these!
Need a bag?
ugly donald glover GIFGiphy“'You have a great face for radio.'”
YourUncleBenny69
"And you have a great voice for silence."
Supersaiajinblue
Apologies
"You've got two brain cells, and they're both fighting for third place. Somewhere out there is a tree, tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breathe. I think you owe it an apology. Apparently the second one is a line from House MD. Giving credit where it's due."
FlashpointJ24
"I've always liked 'Intellectually unfortunate.'"
AngriestManinWestTX
So Good
"'I don't care what the others say, I think you're great.'"
sewn_of_a_gun
"'I don't know why so many people don't like you.'"
ABobby077
"I actually saw someone say this to another person at work. It doesn't help that most people at our work really don't like the guy."
LOTRfreak101
Look Away
"'I wouldn't want to be your mirror.'"
lilgreen13789
"'I still wouldn't bother to look at you.'"
Supersaiajinblue
Oh my...
Shade Be Quiet GIF by THE TRIXIE & KATYA SHOWGiphy"'You’re like the end pieces of a loaf of bread. Everyone touches you, but nobody wants you.'"
sparklingshanaya
My Lord. Y'all people are scandalous.
My first thought is... "LEAVE ME ALONE!!"
Blood
"Don't say 'hello' just pick up the phone and say 'it's done, but there's blood everywhere. I'll need your help cleaning it up. Bring bleach, trash bags and that large saw from the garage.' and then just hang up."
FinnbarMcBride
Pretend
"Pretend to be elderly and confused. You’ll hook them immediately and can then proceed with wasting the most of their time."
Bananaman1229
"This is my go to, my record is 8min of slowing asking them to repeat it and ask about my benefits or what the package includes. If it’s the solar guys I ask about the panel type and what crew they will use. Sometime I tell them I just moved or ask about the weather."
brapo68
language by language...
"I gave the phone to my neighbor who talked to them in Pennsylvania German. My neighbor is Amish. Then the person on the phone tried to use regular German, but all they knew was 'Sprechen Sie Deutsch.' When my Amish neighbor said yeah and then rattled off in a mix of German and dutch the scammer hung up."
"Then they called back not 20 minutes later. So I spoke to them in Chinese. But they kept telling me to speak in English. They hung up after about two minutes."
elanrach
Hold Please
"In a forum online, a girl answered a call with a Caller ID that came up as fraud. She answered breathlessly, 'Can you hold on? I'm having sex.' She clicked on porn and set the phone next to the computer's speaker. The guy listened for half an hour."
SciFi_Author
HOW?!?!
Season 6 Nbc GIF by The OfficeGiphy"HOW DID YOU GET THIS NUMBER?!?"
"Answer every phone call that way."
RogueNine
Why did I not think of some of these sooner?
Hey Bob
Phone Staring GIF by Robin SchulzGiphy"Bob's orphanage, you make 'em we take 'em."
Spicy_French-Fry
Gotcha!
"Wasting time of scammers? One of the most fun activities to do. Have wasted the time of one guy who wanted to scam me with steam cards and such.. I impersonated a local I know and talked like him, acted like him and mocked the scammer in subtle ways. Was really funny, I streamed that entire sh**show to my friends."
"Me mocking a scammer and giving them useless steam-gift codes, even telling them that they are like any other guy out there trying to scam me and such. It's really hilarious when you think about that me telling to that guy that he is like any other guy who wants to scam me made them trying even harder instead of acknowledging that he was completely played by me the entire time."
"We had five hours pure fun together, the scammer lost five hours of lifetime."
ShadowLemon313
Tricks and Treats
"I once worked for a legitimate call centre where we called people who ticked boxes, on forms and stuff, saying they'd be interested in X product or service. It was a crap job and I got out of it ASAP, but it paid by the hour (not commission). People would hang up, pretend it was the wrong number, pretend not to speak English, and all kinds of stuff (even though I'd be happy to just remove their info if they asked, and I always offered)."
"But when people pulled the whole 'Just wait a minute' trick, and left the phone down, it was a welcome break. I could just doodle pictures, browse the internet, and generally relax, because the system had me down as on a call. And I was still getting paid the same."
"I once spent an hour and a half like that, before the woman picked the phone up, realized I was sill there, asked me what the hell was wrong with me, and hung up. This may well have been a similar thing."
BadgerSituation
You Win!
Winner Celebrate GIF by AwkwafinaGiphy"In your best Announcer's Voice:"
"You've reached KSCM 99.3 The River, you're on the air and you are the seventh caller! Are you excited? ARE YOU EXCITED???"
Hysterical_Realist
I'm trying all of these. And also... "LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!"
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