People Share The Best Advice For Someone Starting Their First Job
Reddit user CampDreamy asked: 'What advice would you give someone starting their first job?''
Starting your first job is always nerve-wracking. The start of anything new usually is. That's why it's helpful to get some advice.
Before I started my first job, a friend of mine told me that there were a lot of things I should be willing to do in order to become indispensable, but one thing I should never do is give up lunch.
Even if it's a busy day and everyone is working through lunch, take five minutes to buy something at the deli next door or pop something in the microwave. You will not do your best work if you do not eat a meal.
I was very glad to get that advice, and it was something I always followed.
I also followed my own personal rule of writing down the process to do anything at work, even if it was as simple as where to look for a particular file. Anytime I thought 'oh, I'll remember,' I ended up having to ask again. It's always better to write it down so you not only know how to do it, but are the one that people come to when they need to know how to do it.
I'm not the only one that has good advice for someone starting their first job. Redditors are full of advice and are ready to share.
It all started when Redditor CampDreamy asked:
"What advice would you give someone starting their first job?"
Think Positive
"95% of success is showing up on-time and not having a bad attitude."
– Firebolt164
"There’s a quote that goes something like: you don’t need an advanced degree to show up on time, work hard, and have a positive attitude."
"I basically used this as my mantra as I built my career (and still do)."
– tyrannosean
"This has been my experience in my first ~5 years of employment. Being someone that people enjoy interacting with, sticking to deadlines, and broadly trying to make lives easier rather than harder will get you pretty close to the top, and it’s a lot easier than working overtime every day."
– 2catsinatrenchcoat
"Yep, when I was younger I always thought that just showing up on time, being a decent person to work with, and doing a good job were the bare minimum that everyone did....I learned later that this will put you above approximately 90% of your co-workers."
– raoulduke212
Sound Advice
"Poop on company time."
– 1320Fastback
"Well, sh*t."
– CampDreamy
"Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I poop on company time."
– mrselfdestruct066
Everyone Makes Mistakes
"Don't worry about f**king up. You're going to f**k up. We all f**k up. Constantly."
"Learn from it when you f**k it up so you do it better next time and you'll be the best employee in any job."
– MaximumZer0
"And when (not if) you f**k up, own up to it, and do your best to fix it. It's way easier to fix a mistake when it first happens than 3 weeks or even hours down the line. This applies to basically any field."
– super5aj123
Gossip Girl
"Listen to gossip if you want, but never spread it."
– GamerMomLife
"Yep. I worked in a private pool snack bar kitchen last summer, and nearly all of my coworkers were high school girls. The amount of sh*t they talked on each other was insane, but I just tried my best to not get involved. It never became anything other than sh*t-talking, but it's just a good idea in general to keep your head down."
– super5aj123
"I work in a kitchen with majority middle-aged women, and it's simular to what you described."
– DeadStar800
Do It All
"If they tell you to sweep, just sweep. You still make the same amount. Unless you’re an MD or something else, in that case you’re f**ked!"
– PublicEnema11
"A programmer consultant I knew in the 90s lived by the motto "it all pays the same.""
"You want him to spend his $50/hr time doing things that an unpaid intern could handle? Sounds like an easy day."
– Cacafuego
(Don't) Let It Burn, Burn, Burn
"Don’t burn bridges if you quit or get fired."
– kbrown423
""Never cut what you can untie.""
"- Robert Frost"
– sophistt_
It's All Public
"Assume everybody in the company plus clients will read every email you send."
– CouchieWouchie
"Yeah this is genuinely a great rule that will save your @ss. Write every email as if it will be read by the whole org."
– FrungyLeague
"Also speak as though anything you say is being recorded."
– squished_frog
Protect Yourself
"Document EVERYTHING. Every time punch. Every direction from your supervisor."
– DejectedDonut
"Do this if you are working outside your duties/responsibilities as well, or directed to do things. You want a paper trail of why you did what you did if something screwy happens."
"Ideally, the work place should concentrate on policy, protocol, training, engineering and admin controls and such... but well stuff isnt always ideal."
– Zech08
Work Friends
"You're going to feel tempted to make strong relationships with your coworkers - but remember that you shouldn't share with anyone what you wouldn't want known by everyone. You may think you can trust someone, but you should have a bit of caution."
"A lot of work relationships feel a bit like a friendship, but they are not. If they move on, or you do, it is rare that you will stay in touch. Accept it for what it is."
– Mobtor
Education
"Take advantage of tuition reimbursement to get degrees/certifications that will benefit your career and don't worry about "owing" the company for it."
"Many industries have pretty generous tuition reimbursement programs where they cover your school but you owe them time after they cut those checks. A typical program might have a requirement that if you leave the company you need to pay back anything they had paid out in the last two years."
"The thing is that you want to leverage that degree for a salary jump and the current company won't give it to you because they have you "locked" in now, right?"
"So you interview for your next job and when that company gives you an offer you explain that you're on the hook for the tuition reimbursement at your old company "and since you will be getting the benefit of that education I will need a signing bonus to cover my financial obligation to my current employer.""
"Keep in mind that the signing bonus will be taxable income so you need to shoot for an amount that will have taxes taken out and leave what you need to pay back the tuition."
"I've known too many people who didn't get a degree that could have really helped them but they didn't want to be "on the hook" to their employer. I even know one guy who spent close to $30k out of his own pocket to get a master's degree because he didn't want to "be stuck here" when he was done."
– tacknosaddle
The Little Moments Matter
"Don’t miss any major life events (or the major life events of close family/friends) for work. You might feel pressure from your employer not to take the time off."
"The family/friends will still be around for many years, the first job probably won’t."
– mxxiestorc
Learn To Save
"Pension! Pension! Pension!"
"Put as much as you can afford to into your pension. Retirement might seem a lifetime away but the sooner you save for it the sooner you can achieve it."
– Grayzo
Money, Money, Money
"Pack a lunch! Eating out can put a huge dent in your paycheck!"
– awileycat
"Can't stress this enough. For the price of eating out unhealthy food for 1 day you can usually pack healthier lunch for 2-3 days."
– QuantumExileMusic
Oh, yes! I found out about that last one the hard way...and still haven't learned!
Humans have so much to teach one another.
If only we would all listen.
A lot more listening between men and women would probably help in the battle of the sexes.
Everyone has room to grow and learn.
Men are terrible at communication. We know this, so let's be grateful they're willing to share for a minute.
Gals... pencils up.
Redditor ChadBrowGer wanted to hear from all the gents out there and asked:
"Men of Reddit, what’s the hardest thing to explain to women?"
PICK ONE!
Meet Up Season 7 GIF by One ChicagoGiphy"It's ok to just tell me where you want to eat."
I just live...
"When you ask me how my day was or what I did today, nothing in my day usually stands out as special, so I just don't remember. I usually don't remember what I do, I just live."
RoastyMyToasty99
"Work gets put into a box as soon as I clock out, I then spend then time it takes to get home to flush my mind of it all so I am not angry or stressed about my day."
"I don't want to think about work until I clock back in the next morning. My day was the same and something funny or interesting may have happened but I am not opening that box when I'm sitting at home staring into the neighbors trees blowing in the wind."
theflyingkiwi00
Calm Down
"I'm seriously not checking you out every time you walk by in the office. I turn my head for damn near everything that enters my periphery, you're really not that special."
Iniquox
"This makes me so freaking self-conscious in the gym. Everytime someone walks past I look, especially in the mirrors and I always catch the eye of a girl probably thinking I'm checking her out. I really don't wanna be seen as that creepy guy making girls at the gym uncomfortable. It's literally the last thing I'm thinking about."
jimmyjinx
Codeless
"When we say we need time or space, that’s exactly what we need. It’s not code for 'you need to try harder.'"
LeaveForNoRaisin
"Had an ex who would keep pushing me to talk when I got angry about something. I just wanted some time to cool off before having a discussion about it."
"One of the reasons she's an ex. My wife now is fantastic, we understand each other and when it's best to just shut up and let things settle. More often than not we realise the reason for getting grumpy in the first place is trivial and we get over it."
cyborg_127
Hands Up
Yep Reaction GIF by C H A R L Ö T T EGiphy"The specifics of nod code. It’s easy to say 'up if you know them; down if you don’t' but the exact meaning of the downward nod is hard to translate. It’s seeing them, acknowledging them, and saying that neither of us have any issue with each other."
SmartAlec105
"Raise your hand if you just nodded by yourself several times."
gravyjives
A simple nod speaks volumes.
Who Knows?
Who Knows Idk GIFGiphy"Why I don't know what the heck my best friend is up to in life even after hanging out with him all day."
Apollo1255
You First
"I don't always want to be the one that initiates sex. It makes me feel like a creep."
NKoreaisbestKorea
"It doesn’t necessarily make me feel like a creep, but it makes me think the girl doesn’t actually want sex most of the time."
"When a girl does ask for sex or initiates it in her own way, it makes it so much more fun for me and takes out a lot of the anxiety and stress that sometimes surrounds sex in a relationship because it really does feel like a two sided give and receive situation."
Gulliath
Conflict Resolution
"Sometimes (this is me personally so I can't say it's common) the struggle not to share emotions isn't as much the worry of backlash from society or friends, etc. It's more just a conflict within ourselves to verbalize and come out with it. I trust my friends with respecting how I feel, I just can't get it out because I'm fighting myself."
FoxxyPantz
Love Me Tender
"Sometimes I’m just horny, but (in a committed relationship) sometimes I look at you and I’m just so in love that I want to be as close and intimate with you as I can, which is sex. My ex and I had different love languages, and she would worry that I don’t love her as much as she loves me which was just crazy because I was head over heels for her at all times. Trying to explain that that really close, lovey sex was one of the ways I showed her exactly how deeply I was in love with her, but she didn’t get it."
No More to Tell
Talking Blah Blah Blah GIF by Wiz KhalifaGiphy"Very often, we say something at its face value with no double meaning, or alternative meaning, behind it. It's women who ask me, 'What did you mean when you asked/said that?'"
"I said/asked exactly what I meant. If wanted to state it differently, I would have done so."
Well, that all sounds easy enough. A little clarification can go a long way.
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.
There are roughly 100 thousand children every year, in the United States alone, who are awaiting adoption.
And not just babies or infants.
This includes children in their teens and pre-teens.
They often need to be adopted owing to sad circumstances, like being taken out of homes where they were neglected and abused.
Sadly, the transitions into their new life are often turbulent, and while the eventual outcome is often happy, that sadly isn't always the case.
"Parents who have adopted a older child (5 and up), how has it gone for you? Do you regret it or would you recommend other parents considering adoption look into a older child?"
If You Want To Do It, Be Sure You Want To Do It For Them.
"Adopted a child who was 11 when I was 21."
"He was my wife's younger cousin and his household was marred with substance abuse, filth, instability, and mental health issues."
"Knew it was bad but didn't know how bad."
"Took him (11) and his brother (14) for a summer once, just to give them a break from, what we thought was, a dirty house with an overwhelmed parent."
"Until I took them back the week before school started and saw the filth first hand, the smell and the random people coming in/out, the wreckage we were about to have to leave them in, the fact that in this time his Xbox and games, I had hand-me-downed him, has been sold along with their TV."
"The two had 1 mattress on a floor and the younger one said 'I can't wait for school to start back' and when I asked why, he said 'Because then I get to eat every day, like when I'm at your house'."
"I told them to just get back in the car."
"His mother never even called to ask why he or his brother didn't come home until tax season, to make sure we didn't claim them on our taxes, etc."
"Never wished him a happy birthday, Christmas, nothing."
"My wife and I grew up very quickly."
"We worked hard and got full custody about a year later when he was 12."
"He grew up healthy and happy, successful with great grades and a good head on his shoulders."
"His brother who was 14 lived with us for the first year then would go back and forth trying to help his mom get her life together before returning again, but for the most part during those years, the younger child we had full custody of and the older child came/went as he needed."
"It wasn't until years later when the younger of the two moved out with his friends, instead of taking our offer to go to college right after school, and began having substance abuse issues of his own that we learned the extent of the abuse he had endured at home for nearly his entire childhood and kept inside."
"Sexual and physical for years starting when he was about 5 from his mothers 'friends' and boyfriends and even a family member due to their terrible situation."
"It was heartbreaking."
"He ended up going through a pretty severe addiction period in his early to mid 20s and regardless what we've tried and how many small successes we've worked with him to reach, he always ends up in a severe depression and turning back to drugs again."
"The last time I talked to him, about a week ago, I told him I loved him and would help him get into a very nice rehab community when he's ready and help him get a good job and place for himself, but only when he's ready to be clean and until then, we simply can't do anything with/for him..and it was hard to do."
"I am in the 2nd half of my 30's now, have 3 children in grade school who need me like he did then who also love him, our oldest looks at him like a big brother, but unfortunately we have to keep our distance a bit so they don't have to see close-up the ugly side of addiction in someone they love."
"Now that he's an adult in his mid 20's himself making these choices, we can't have any real relationship other than the occasional call or letter until he's done."
"He loves them too, but he's got some demons that we cannot possibly understand and until he's ready to get help for them or help for his addiction, we don't have much of a relationship."
"His brother worked hard and straightened their mother out over the years into a functioning adult and mother, got her life together, a job, a place, everything and as adults, never left her."
"In fact, due to him, his brother spent the last year of his teens sharing our household and hers back/forth which wouldn't have been possible without him."
"The older brother and her are roommates now and we are very proud of him for the man he's become, what he's persevered, and the incredible progress he's made with their mother and how he's stuck by her side now providing as equals."
"I never realized it, but he and I really grew up together, only being 5-6 years apart in age and were best friends for years as young adults even after his younger brother moved out."
"One of my biggest regrets is somehow letting those days end."
"He loves his brother too, but his and his mother's relationship with his brother is the same as ours, the delicate balance between helpful/love vs enabling due to understanding the pain he's probably trying to understand/repress, until he's able to beat this, and he will."
"Nothing is perfect, just what you make of it I suppose, but it has highlighted to us how important the early years of a child's development are and how damaging all forms of abuse can be, regardless how much effort you put into trying to change things afterward, and also how important it is for a child to have an adult who genuinely cares about them, since sadly many don't."
"Would I recommend it?"
"Yes, but be honest with yourself why you're doing it and know what you're getting into."
"You're not getting a good/bad kid, you're getting an opportunity to be a good/bad parent."
"Children this age need you as much as a baby does, they bring happiness the same as a baby does and also present their own unique challenges the same as parents do, which is what they're signing up for too without knowing, and most importantly the reason you should be adopting is for them."
"You get to give your love, time, affection and a portion of your life, and heart, too."
"Would I do it again?"
"Every single time."- saaatchmo
Be Prepared.
"My wife and I adopted an older girl from our state's foster system."
"The girl was 13 when we adopted her and we were told she had a rough childhood full of abuse and she had been diagnosed with 'general mood disorder'."
"Little did we know that the psychological assessment was done by an unqualified state doctor and this little girl had severe issues that required more care than my wife and I were prepared for."
"We spent 5 years dealing with fighting, arguing, run away attempts, drug use, alcohol abuse, constant emotional manipulation, constant lying, stealing, etc."
"She was also in constant contact with her schizophrenic birth mother behind our backs, the woman kept feeding our daughter conspiracy theories and lies and constantly making the situation worse for all of us."
"We tried the best we could for 5 whole years, trying various different therapists, trying different parenting methods, seeing different doctors, all to no avail."
"It wasn't until about 5 months before her 18th birthday that we had to have her committed and we finally got a proper diagnosis."
"She was diagnosed with bi-polar and BPD and we finally had an answer to the years of hell we all had to go thru."
"We did our research and learned the proper way to parent a child with these conditions and things began to improve over the last few months she was with us, but on her 18th birthday she bailed and we haven't seen her since, that was 5 years ago."- Dragonace1000
The Love They Never Knew
"I feel I got lucky."
"He was 9 when we adopted him, but he was just grateful to have a home and people who loved him."
"My wife and I love him dearly as he does us."- TyrannoDragon
Have Absolutely No Doubts.
"My pre-adoptive son just moved in 6 weeks ago."
"He’s almost 10."
"Him getting here has been a bit of a long and wild story but he’s been in care since he was 6."
"It hasn’t been easy but there’s SO many older kids who need families."
"My biggest thing is just to make DAMN sure you’re committed."
"Know your limits."
"Be honest with yourself and your adoption coordinator."
"And demand honesty from the social worker as well."
"Ask for psych evals and treatment histories."
"Because if you convince yourself 'oh I can handle this' and you change your mind?"
"You are re-traumatizing that child."
"My son has complex trauma from years of abuse but the thing he talks about most after his meltdowns?"
"Having to leave his first pre-adoptive home because he kept losing his temper and throwing things."
"He’s been in 4-5 placements and a PRTF since then."
"I work with girls involved in juvenile justice so I felt uniquely prepared for this situation and even for me, it’s been physically and emotionally exhausting."
"I’m a single parent and we’re in the middle of a global pandemic so I’m sure that’s a factor."
"But if you choose to adopt there shouldn’t be any 'changing your mind' or 'this just isn’t working out'."
"That kiddo is part of your family."
"My son and I have a little mantra 'together forever. Even when things get hard, even when things get sad'.”- camilouwhooo
Not Everyone Is Meant To Be A Parent
"I adopted a 7 YO from foster care in 2017."
"It was an absolute failure."
"My wife pushed me to choose this child even though I didn’t feel the 'sparks' everyone talks about when meeting or hearing about their kids."
"I separated from my wife in 2018 and we shared custody for about a year."
"I asked her for a short break, and she took the child and never returned him."
"I can’t say I’m unhappy about her choice."
"I didn’t really fight for her to bring him back."
"I have seen him only a few times since then."
"I care for him as a human being and of course wish no harm upon him, but I’m not his parent."
"It’s one of the most difficult things I’ve been through."- bearbearbare
Older children who are hoping to be adopted need love above all else.
Sadly, love can't solve every problem.
But any parent committed to loving their children, no matter how difficult things might get, will ensure that they will somehow, in some way come out on top of all their troubles.
Even if it sometimes takes more love than you can possibly imagine.
Years ago, people insisted that the best way to get a job would be to just walk into an office and hand someone your resume.
And you know what? I suppose that—for a time—it worked.
The job market of today is nothing like the job market of the past, and, truth be told, I did follow that advice when I was younger (and yes, I managed to secure a job or two in the process).
But given the state of things, it's clear that advice like this doesn't hold up anymore, and it's far from the only advice that falls into this bracket.
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor The Managah asked the online community:
"What was great advice 20 years ago, but definitely isn’t now?"
"In high school..."
"In high school as part of one of my classes they brought in a lady who worked HR for some recruiting firm for a few days to teach us how to do resumes and cover letters and such and she told us even if a place has an option to apply online always go in person and pick up an application because no one takes online applications seriously."
profJesusFish
I wonder where this recruiter is now. Surely she's eaten her words.
"My dad..."
"My dad told me once, "Son you shouldn't schedule a single vacation day the first year of your job. It shows you're committed.""
DayDreams9119
Yeah, good luck with that. If I have vacation days, I'm definitely taking them.
"Don't forget..."
"Don't forget to print out your directions from MapQuest before you leave."
stugaut35
Oh yes... GPS has totally changed the game, hasn't it?
"You need to memorize..."
"You need to memorize this because you won't have the info accessible later."
[deleted]
Ever heard of open book tests? The most important skill isn't knowing the right answer, it's knowing how to find out the right answer. And that's gotten much easier.
"People always wonder..."
"People always wonder how some people get to be soo creepy but they forgot that they've been brought up by a generation who thought the best way to get a woman was agressive flirting techniques, actual stalking and being overly possessive."
umbraldisappointment
An excellent point — and it's difficult to unlearn those habits!
"Getting a diploma..."
"Getting a diploma will secure your life."
[deleted]
But will it though? Will it?
"You're searching..."
"You're searching for a soulmate on the internet? Lord you must be insane."
yanks8190
Funny how times change. The script on this has flipped completely.
"To look after..."
"To look after your phone battery you should let it go all the way down to 0% and then charge fully to 100%."
PangolinMandolin
Who is the monster who told you that one and how did they get away with it for so long?
"Sure..."
"Buy that house!! Sure it seems weird that you qualified for such a high home loan but I'm sure they wouldn't offer it to you if you couldn't afford it."
JD_85
Oh, dear, the people who experienced the 2008 financial crisis would like a word.
"To this day..."
"To this day, my mom believes the way to apply for ANY job, is to walk in and hand your future boss your paper resume. Whether or not they're actively hiring."
IAmBabs
Oh wow, she really needs to get with the times on this one. If you do that these days, it's an easy way to get your resume discarded.
Times certainly do change — and fast.
It's no wonder some people can't keep up!
Have some other advice to share? Tell us more in the comments below!
Some people prefer being single. They don't have to answer to anybody, they can play by their own rules, and they can continue going about their day-to-day without accommodating the needs of a significant other.
But that status of perpetual independence can eventually hit a breaking point.
It makes one wonder while being single can be a convenience, are we meant to live alone forever?
Unfortunately, avidly seeking out a relationship is a hit or miss, so an individual's situation can be out of their control.
But for those who are apprehensive about giving up their freedom to share a life with someone, married people imparted their wisdom when Redditor Charming_Cash asked:
"Married people of reddit, What something you wish unmarried people knew?"
Redditors reminded that maintaining a sense of self in a marriage was of great importance.
Being Good To Yourself
"Being married shouldn’t take away from having a good relationship with yourself."
– Electronic-Cattle993
The Power Of Three
"My wife's uncle officiated for us, as he has for other family members and friends. Before the ceremony he told us his 'theory of love and marriage.'"
"He said many, if not most people look at marriage as two becoming one, but that's not accurate, healthy, or stable over any length of time. He said it's not two becoming one, it's two becoming three; there's each of us as separate individuals, and then us together as it's own creation. Each of those three needs love and care and attention."
"I've found it to be incredibly hopeful, helpful, healthy advice."
– HauntedCemetery
Working On Yourself
"Your single problems will be your married problems. Marriage and your spouse can't fix you. Work on yourself as much as you can before you get married. For yourself and for your spouse."
– happyharborgirl
Here are tips that may come in handy in the bedroom.
You Can Still Sleep Well
"It’s okay to use two blankets. No one likes to wake up with cold a** cheeks because your spouse stole the blanket."
– sparklingshanaya
Sides Of The Bed
"This was a game changer for us! We're both cold creatures but we both also like our space in bed. We'll cuddle for a few minutes then separate to our respective sides of the bed to actually sleep. We each have our own duvet and it works out perfectly!"
– FifiLaFifi
It Doesn't Work For Everyone
"i wish my wife liked her own space in bed, i woke up the other night and she was sleeping on top of me..literally no part of her body was on the mattress, it was all on me....i had to yeet her across the bed just so i could breath."
– avadakedavradata**
Once Upon Two Mattresses
"Along with two separate blankets we also have two twin xl mattresses on a king size frame so there's no energy transfer to the other side of the bed when one of us is shifting around or whatever. Also makes moving the bed setup much much easier than dealing with a floppy two-ton king size mattress."
– GothamDad
These are things to keep in mind when considering tying the knot.
It's Not A Bandaid
"Getting married WILL NOT help solve any issues in your relationship..."
– LoveBaby67
The Thing About Having Kids
"Totally agree with this and the same with the kids point too. I’ve always thought marriage adds extra pressure in the legal confirmation of you being together and the vows you make to one another."
"Children just add an extra layer of pressure were you have less time to devote to one another so any cracks that were in the relationship before will get blown into massive fissures which can be fixed. However if the relationship needed saving before the kids it is not going to last when that kids comes along I don’t think."
– cornish-yorkshirepud
Making Time For Each Other
"Pretty well written, my wife and I had minor problems that could all be managed by just chatting and hanging out together. We made each other happy enough just by being together that the minor stuff wouldn't even be an issue, so when we had a kid (which has been largely awesome) and our time together got turned into time for our daughter, we started to fight a lot more. Make time for mom and dad dates without the kid(s) for the good of you both, you need some time to just hangout and love each other."
– Cherreh
The Day Of The Nuptials
"The wedding is just one day and does not fix any issues. It goes back to the exact same relationship afterwards. And if you're lucky, that's a good thing."
– No_Yard_7363
Some good points here were mentioned, and I can agree with all of them.
I knew a couple who was about to spend some time apart due to work opportunities. Fearing the guy might drift apart from his girlfriend while he was working abroad for six months, he proposed to her at the airport as she was sending him off.
They never got married when his contract was over. Turns out he cheated on his girlfriend on several occasions while he was away.
So much for that proposal as insurance his heart would be forever true and faithful.