About an hour and a half ago I finally felt like an adult. Sure, I'm 36 and I have a few kids and I'm married and in the middle of a divorce - I've even hosted a holiday dinner or two! But up until today I have always felt like a kid just sort of making things up as I go. Winging it was the battle plan and there was no safety net to be found. We don't have college funds, we don't have retirement plans, we don't have wills or anything like that. What I do have, though, is the ability to say my dad just called and asked to borrow 20 bucks so he wouldn't have to drive all the way back home and get his debit card.
And I totally had it to give him.
That moment that makes you finally feel like an adult is different for everyone. One reddit user asked:
What was your "damn I'm not a kid I'm officially an adult now" moment?
Here are some of the answers that we felt the hardest.
Merry Christmas
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Yesterday, I was asked what I want for Christmas and I said groceries.
- tyrily
Last year, when my mom asked what my husband and I wanted, we told her socks. It was the second best Christmas gift she's ever given me, the best being a vacuum cleaner a few years prior.
A few years ago my mother asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I thought for a minute and said "a filing cabinet" - and I got that filing cabinet. It's really handy.
Sir...
I was running to the train station from college and I ran past an elementary school and I heard one of the kids yell "Sir, are you running away from the police?"
She even used the formal way of "you" that we use towards adults in the Dutch language.
Trolling Success
I didn't get a normal "welcome to adult hood" transition. My parents died when I was 16 and I inherited all of their adult problems.
When they died, I didn't even understand what a checking account was, but I was responsible for clearing up the estate, taxes, life insurance, transitioning my dad's health insurance to COBRA, their finances and debts, and figuring out what an estate is, how to file taxes, and what a cobra snake had anything to do with getting a doctor's appointment.
I ended up getting most of it under control after lots of googling and Yahoo! Answers because that was still a thing.
I was cutting my last 2 periods of school because I needed to go to the bank as well as meet with an attorney and accountant, who only worked during normal business hours. I got detention for cutting class...
The attendance office also use to call me, expecting it to be my parents, telling me my 'child' was late. I kept trying to explain it to them, but they never listened. Eventually I just started going with it. In the deepest country accent I could muster "He did WHAT!!! Oh don't you worry ma'em, I'll be sure to have a talkin' to him." Then I'd purposely miss the receiver when I hung up and yell "boyy, you get your butt over here, what's this I hear about you bein tardy. You be prayin to be back in school when I'm done with you." "No papa...not the" click.
Babies Change Everything
When I got married and fell pregnant. Now everyone talks to me about adult things. They also don't tell me what to do with my money or time anymore.
If a year ago I told my parents that I was saving for a cruise to NZ to see the shire from Lord Of The Rings they would have called me "childish" and "I'm wasting my money" But now it's for my family trip it's "cute" and "creating memories". It's weird man.
Ain't No Party Like A Grown Up Party!
Had a small get together with friends. I don't have kids, but a lot of my friends do.
Set the party time for 6, thinking no one would show up till 9. Bell rang at 6. 😬 (I wasn't ready)
Kids all over my house. Lugged out my rebounder and a bunch of my old toys that I had stuffed in the storage room, they had a blast.
Everyone was gone by 10, and my house was cleaner than when people came round.
Yep. I threw a successful Grown up party.
Adult Flu
I was really sick with the flu and there was literally no one there to help. Nothing worse than getting sick in your own place for the first time, and realizing you have to get out of bed and feed yourself if you don't want to starve to death.
- Foojira
Subway Shenanigans
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I was on a LA subway line and as we approached a station platform a tall homeless man was screaming and shaking his fists in the air. He whipped his head around and started making eye contact with the people on my approaching subway car.
Women and young students started getting uncomfortable and edging away from the open door. The homeless guy started walking toward us, and I noticed people glancing in my direction.
I was the man, and they were clearly looking for me to stand up and confront the situation. It really hit home for me at that moment. I wasn't a kid anymore.
Boot Camp
When I went to boot camp and realized that I couldn't run back to my parents without going to prison. Made my whole perspective change on life.
First Responder
I'm a teacher. My first year teaching there was a carbon monoxide incident in our school building. Somehow I ended up in charge of the kids showing side effects of the CO and assisting the first responders with getting the kids medical info. Before the first responders got there I remember looking around and thinking, there needs to be an adult in here and immediately realizing oh shit I'm the adult.
Pizza
When I could afford to buy pizza for breakfast, but decided not to.
- Rick0r
It's actually way better than you think. After a certain point most of the cocky shit you had at 19 is beaten out of you by life, and you learn to be responsible and compassionate.
But that's not everything and it's not even most things. There's tons of stuff you go, fuck it, I'm not doing that thing, because I'm a grownup. Or you decide you will do something.
My boyfriend ate over a mile of Fruit by the Foot in his late 40s. I have a pair of floral velvet boots. I just ate candy in bed. Being an adult is hard work but it is really rad once you embrace the liberating aspects of it. If you fight the maintenance and responsibility it will crush you but if you give into it, there's a vast upside.
Baby you're a...
Went to a fireworks store for the first time since I was a teenager. As a northerner where fireworks are illegal getting fireworks was the most awesome thing ever. Anyway I went in, looked around and didn't buy anything because all I could think of was the mess they make.
Swipe It
Signing up for my own grocery store club card so I'd use my phone number instead of my moms
I'm 25 and I use my parents' store cards because they can earn more points toward free stuff. They don't know I do this, but they've done so much for me that I feel it's the least I can do.
I've gone mad over grocery store rewards points, I'll swoop in with my card whenever I'm with someone who doesn't have one even if it's just for $3 coz 'EVERY POINT COUNTS!' Buying groceries yesterday and I noticed the girl in front of me had sneakily swiped her card on the screen as she was leaving after finishing her own transaction so she could take my points, but I shut that shit down straight away.
Mother May I
I'm a teacher. My first year teaching there was a carbon monoxide incident in our school building. Somehow I ended up in charge of the kids showing side effects of the CO and assisting the first responders with getting the kids medical info. Before the first responders got there I remember looking around and thinking, there needs to be an adult in here and immediately realizing oh I'm the adult.
My aunt (whom I always go to for financial advice as she is a retired loan officer) asked me to recommend a lawyer as my husband and I had recently used one for some inheritance matters. Just the fact that she needed/valued our opinion when hers is one I usually seek on those matters was really something to me.
Defender Of Innocents
I was on a LA subway line and as we approached a station platform a tall homeless man was screaming and shaking his fists in the air. He whipped his head around and started making eye contact with the people on my approaching subway car.
Women and young students started getting uncomfortable and edging away from the open door. The homeless guy started walking toward us, and I noticed people glancing in my direction.
I was the man, and they were clearly looking for me to stand up and confront the situation. It really hit home for me at that moment. I wasn't a kid anymore.
(Reality) Check Please
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When I bought a f*cking Mr. Clean magic eraser. When I went from thinking the world is a playground of fun to accepting that it'll kick your ass if you let it, and even sometimes if you try not to. When I saw Happy Gilmore on the Hallmark channel. When Toys R Us went out of business. When I pulled out my N64 and put Super Mario in, and a spider crawled out of the flap the game goes into.
Security Nets
Wife lost her mother and father recently due to cancer. I'm not close to my parents and when we lost them I realized it was just us. We both make good money but having them there was a security we definitely took for granted. Now we have to be the ones that have enough security if and when our kids need it. It's hard to explain but it's like a switch flipped on inside my head and that little bit of teen angst was gone. It was a totally weird process mentally not only being a husband and father but also becoming the patriarch of the family.
Sweet Relief
When I started letting out sighs of relief when I opened my mailbox and it was empty.
- gino4130
Mondays...
Last Monday I was up the entire night finishing a paper. I then drove 30 min to university and as I put my left foot on the ground and start to swivel my right side out, I slip on the ice and give myself my first black eye. As I laid there on the ground for a second all I could thing about was, " wow, this is my life now, this is what it means to be an adult.
The No-Break Lunch "Break"
When I had to figure out how I was going to run errands to places that are only open during bank hours when I work bank hours. Had to use my lunch break to go apply for a mortgage.
I'm The Most Qualified?
The time I was the most qualified person at work a couple of months ago. F*cking terrifying realizing I was the person who everyone turned to for help. Didn't help that it was one of my first shifts as a RN. Being both responsible for patients and the folks who worked with me. Thank God I'm going to another ward soon so I'll get to be only responsible for patients.
- Lafvuli
Caring For The Elders
Not when we got married, not when we bought a house, not even when we had a baby. When we moved my husband's mom in because she makes terrible life decisions and moving in with her son was her last resort. Then her dad, my husband's grandfather, moved in too. It took 32 years to feel like an adult, but taking financial responsibility for (inlaw) family members a generation or two ahead of you will do it.
WD40
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The door was squeaking, got the WD40 from the toolbox and fixed it. Mom was impressed Dad was proud , and that was the time I knew I'm not a kid anymore.
- jcgabest
Pots, Pans and Color Schemes
I'm getting pots and pans for Christmas and I'm gutted because i couldn't pick them out myself.
I haven't even moved in yet, haven't chosen a color scheme for the kitchen .
I didn't realize how much i wanted to pick out the pots and pans until, i got excited about picking them so told my Mum i was gonna look on Google/Amazon for a cool set and she said "oh no i think Santa might have already brought them."
That's code for "Your sister is getting you them for Christmas."
I actually felt heartbroken, and now I'm writing this realizing what a pathetic old adult I am moaning about pots and pans and kitchen color schemes.
No Permission Needed
I was in a pretty good job but still living at home with my parents, and I just decided to go on holiday. Without asking for either permission or money.
The Grumpy Man
Some kids were riding their moped around the car park for my old apartment block and making a hell of a noise.
Stuck my head out the window, asked them what they were doing and if they could do it else where.
Realised I was an adult when they thought they were in trouble and nervously stopped and tried to shuffle away. I was the grumpy man who stopped their fun 😞
- DinoEgo
"Mom, There's Nothing To Eat!"
The first time I looked in my refrigerator in my first apartment and realized I couldn't whine at my mom that there was nothing to eat in the house.
- readarly
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
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"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
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"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
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"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
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"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
