As much as we'd all love to believe that we can brush off unkind words, it's simply not true. There are some things that all the confidence and self-esteem in the universe couldn't protect us from.
Of course, mean words and shocking statements hit hardest when they come from someone we're close with: a friend, a parent, a romantic partner.
And not only do they hit hard in the moment, but they sting for years and years.
A recent Reddit thread asked folks to dredge up the worst of the worst.
"What's the most fu**ed up thing someone has ever said to you?"
Many people talked about the wildly upsetting things their parents have said to them. These statements are enough to leave one wondering just how things got to the point they did.
Inverse Role Model
" 'you're adopted, you don't get to have opinions' "
" 'you're going to end up like your real dad' my real dad was an alcoholic and an addict. He fu**ed up his life and never came back."
" 'is that the only reason you fu**en came home?' "
"Said by my mother in front of my 8th-grade counselor who had brought me home and explained to my mother that my 40-year-old stepbrother had sexually assaulted me twice. I'll never forget my mother's look of disdain or the look of utter horror on my counselor's face."
"When I was 7 my mother and step father were having relationship issues. After a fight in which she ended up leaving the house, my step father sat me down. He gave me an extremely longwinded speech about why I was a terrible, bastard child."
"I don't remember much of it, but he ended it by saying, 'It's your fault your mom and I are breaking up. You're rotten and I hate you.' I don't think I'll ever forget that."
" 'I dont love you, I never did, and I regret not aborting you. You and your father have ruined my life and I hate you both.' " ~My mother when I was 10.
"I do not regret ending my relationship with her at all."
Others talked about the people in positions of authority that demoralized them. It stings so much more when it's someone you'd like to respect.
Joke's On Him
"In college I studied journalism but I had to take a required PR class. We had to keep these journals about our thoughts about news events for some reason, and I was trying to be thought-provoking..."
"...and so I wrote about this theory about why college students tend to be apathetic about the news, it had to do with the insular nature of the college campus. It was probably bullsh**, but I was writing about a theory I had."
"The professor ripped it apart and then ended his scribbling with 'I find it hard to believe you will succeed at anything, much less journalism.' "
"I went on to write for ESPN, so he can kick rocks."
"In high school, one of my classmate's dad died at the start of the year. All the teachers knew as he'd talked about it and been absent over it. Fast forward a few months and the kid handed in 'sloppy' homework as the teacher called it. Then, he made a point of, in front of class, saying 'your dad would be embarrassed' "
"Kid just got up, picked up his things and walked out. Pretty sure we all universally hated that teacher after that"
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Nice Try
"When my mom got diagnosed with stage IV cancer, my boss at the time said she was excited that I was getting to go through this. She meant it in a 'beat an obstacle that life throws at you' kinda way."
"My mom passed away two years later and there was nothing exciting about watching her deteriorate and having to say goodbye. Who the fu** says that?!"
Finally, some people's peers, be it significant others or close friends, were the ones to deliver the verbal blow.
Enough Was Enough
"I've had leukemia a couple of times and my then wife looked at me during an argument and said these words, 'I hope this cancer eats you from the inside out, and that no one is by your side when you die!' I wad so stunned I just turned around and went to the bedroom and went to sleep."
"The next morning she literally said 'I'm sorry I said those things last night, but you know how angry you get me.' I left the next day and never looked back. It was twelve years of hell with her and I stuck through it to be around my kids, but at that moment I knew this had to be it or I'd never get out."
"My ex finished our relationship after 15yrs. To me it was out of the blue. 5 days later my best friend told me that 'you should be over it by now' as I'm sobbing my heart out to her."
"To her I should have been able to mourn and grieve my 15 year relationship in just 5 days!! Turns out he was cheating on me with her"
And as we end this list all feeling a little sympathetic and maybe even upset about our own examples, let's flip it around: when did you say something so nice to someone they were stunned?
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