I feel like over the course of the last decade or so there has been an uptick in people changing their names when they reach adulthood. Some people make some good changes and others, are clearly too high to be making such life altering choices. But a lot of theses names are being changed, because parents themselves, were clearly incapable of properly making some of these decisions as well. And society has taken notice.Redditor u/Hasden2007 wanted to discuss the names people have given their kids that make us all feel bad that some people have kids by asking... What is the worst name you could give a child?
I was named after my grandfather, word for word. Nice man, but dull name. At least I've always thought so. I waited until I was eighteen and the day I could do it, I changed it. Well, some of it. My mother wasn't furious, but oh well. I'm the one who had to live with it. A name is for LIFE, you would think more thought would go into more of them.
What's in a name? Let's find out...
Scrubcrossfire hurricane vintage GIFGiphy
My coworker named her baby "Strawberry Rain", which would be a great name if she had given birth to a bottle of shampoo.
There was a girl in high school with the last name Storms. She got knocked up at 14. She named the kid Sylva Winta. I always thought was really terrible.
Winter and their mom were strippers.
I actually went to school with a guy named Richard Rash. To make it worse his mother was a teacher there. Poor Dick couldn't catch a break.
That's why you never hear a Billiam or Dichard; the rhyming was part of the nicknaming.
I still don't understand how people whose native tongue is English can turn Richard into Dick. That makes no freaking sense. Why not Rick?
The SpareAwkward John Krasinski GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
I went to school with a younger-brother named Justin Case.
How about not giving your child a name? There was a kid I went to high school with whose legal first name was "Unnamed Baby Boy." I don't know the story behind that though.
In Norway, if you don't send in the papers to name your baby within 6 months (iirc) they automatically get the most popular name for their assigned gender in their region. So for instance in 2020 the top names (country-wide, not region though, so there's local variations) were Jakob or Nora.
Now you can't tell me some of those people were indulging in some mind altering stimulants when they chose these life labels. Whether you're a parent or renaming yourself, how could one possibly think these were sufficient options? Let's continue...
I have a friend named Johnson. That's no big deal, but his last name is Smalls.
Serve it Hot
There's a British chef, jamie oliver, who named his children the following:
- poppy honey rosie
- petal blossom rainbow
- buddy bear maurice
- daisy boo pamela
- river rocket blue dallas someone call childline. peachxstile
Go with a Vegfruit GIF by Dead Set on LifeGiphy
I have heard of many bad names, but Sex Fruit is probably the worst I have seen.
Parents are Crazy
I was a high s hill teacher for many many years and have seen some real crazy names throughout the past 4 decades including each decades " trend". The worst name ever? Still can't believe it and this was about 8-9 years ago - I had a girl with the first name Swastika. Fortunately she went by the nickname Tika but who does that to a child?
Hey GirlNetflix Sam Dean GIF by DaybreakGiphy
Princess. A girl in my high school was legally named princess but she went by her middle name. There was also a girl who's name was Sunny Day and she was the emo kid.
I've seen a few little boys named Riot. That name seems pretty bad to me.
I know someone who named their kid Khaleesi, yikes.
I have two friends who got married and had a GoT style wedding. It was actually super dope.
I knew a guy in college who named his first child Sephiroth, and he would get really angry when anyone would shorten it. He named his daughter Aerith as well, and at least that is kind of pretty and unique sounding, but Sephiroth....
When i worked at Chick-fil-a way back in the day, I was taking this girl's order and it time time to ask for her name, she was being very hesitant. So I was just waiting for a reply until her mom says "Sorry she's shy!!" looks me in the eyes with a smile and tells me "Her name is Thankful!" ...poor child.
bad brosbrothers chuckle GIFGiphy
I met a furniture salesman that was named Cain with a brother named Abel when we bought our couch. He just smiled and shrugged when my Dad asked why.
I'm a Cosmo
Tequila. Sibling was Margarita.
A Follyaaron paul what GIF by Breaking BadGiphy
A friend of a friend was named 'Forsheeza Jolly Goodfellow' before she had it changed. Can't even imagine having to deal with that at school.
A Well Done Name
I was watching the game show Scrabble, hosted by Chuck Woolery. They were having kid week.
There was this one boy, about 10 or so, and his name was Chucksteak. Just like that. All one word.
When I saw it, my first thought was "Your parents hated you when you were born."
Not UniqueDog Ok GIF by joeyahlbumGiphy
any fandom related names...
any celebrity quirky names...
any name with messed up spellings to make it "unique"...
just name your bland old kid Riley and move on, instead of RyeLeighUh.
Oh dear. We really are lost as a society. What happened to good ole Marys and Deans? Remember when the most off the wall names were fruits or colors? I swear now we're just making stuff up for shock value. Remember a name is for LIFE. Oh wait, it's not anymore. Change away.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.