People Confess The Most 'Not Safe For Work' Thing They've Ever Done At Work
I used to work in restaurants and I cannot tell you how many of my former coworkers were caught fooling around on the job. The thing you have to remember about restaurants (especially lower end ones) is that everyone is dating each other.
Or at least they have. Or might be considering it.
The point here is don't get mixed up in any of that because it will come back to haunt you and make your workday uncomfortable.
And please, please, PLEASE do not go make out or have sex in the walk-in freezer.
That's just nasty (but people did it on the regular).
People shared their NSFW stories after Redditor NastyStarFish asked the online community:
"What's the most NSFW thing you've done at work?"
"For the scientists..."
"Microwaved a grape in the work microwave. For the scientists, cut a grape in half, leaving a small amount connected (creating an 8 pattern). Put it in a microwave, turn on and it creates a plasma (super heated gas)."
"Anyway, to stop it 'spitting' I put some kitchen roll underneath. Unfortunately the super heated gas ignited the paper and we had a small fire. Did I get in trouble? Nope the whole team was watching, even my boss. Fun times!"
MarkHowes
Now here's something I never thought I'd read. Now I know to never do this, so thank you.
"I mixed degreaser..."
"I mixed degreaser with bleach so mopping the floor could be done in one step and made chlorine gas."
Jpaynesae1991
My guess is the entire floor had to be evacuated. Hopefully they realized it was absolutely an accident.
"I accidentally..."
"I accidentally made an exploding steam engine out of a water pump."
cambium7
What?
How?
How do you even do that?
I don't want to know.
"I punched my boss..."
"I punched my boss in the face after I got beat up and he told me fighting is acceptable at work when I made a complaint."
Youwana_younggaychick
Since when is fighting at work acceptable? EVER?
Sounds like you're better off away from there.
"I work at a fetish clothing boutique..."
"I work at a fetish clothing boutique, frequently adding new products to our webpage. My most amusing one is definitely spending the majority of my day censoring penises in sheer underwear."
blackninjakitty
Something tells me working at a fetish clothing boutique or sex shop is full of NSFW surprises.
"I used to smoke weed..."
"I used to smoke weed on my lunch break and come in so freaking high. I planned to quit soon but noticed on my boss’s calendar that there was an event called 'drug test.' I quit before then but always wondered if that was meant for me."
lovelylola2019
"I took a bunch of Xanax..."
"I took a bunch of Xanax by accident and sat on the floor for my entire 6 hour shift and then went home and slept for 15 hours straight."
greghater
That you managed to sit on the floor for your entire shift makes me think you work security.
"I stood on top..."
"I stood on top of a moving bobcat (smallish construction equipment not angry wild feline) with a pole saw to cut some really high branches on a few tall trees. OSHA would have had a field day with that one. Definitely not safe for work. Do not attempt."
Lark2331
OSHA would have absolutely shut the entire workplace DOWN and they would have done it sooo fast.
"My wife and I..."
"My wife and I were in the same company for a while. We made out in the office once with her back pressed up against the sexual harassment poster."
BB-88
Hey, it's not harrassment if it's consensual!
"The concrete..."
"The concrete was redone one year. I drew a glorious 12 ft penis and was never caught."
JuanTheNumber
Maybe you weren't caught because they knew but didn't have concrete proof?
It seems people out there have had much more interesting times at work than I have. I think I like it that way. I'd rather not get physically injured... or worse.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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Ever find yourself people watching, and catch someone doing something stupid?
Look around a store, and you might catch a fellow shopper make a silly mistake, like dropping a product or tripping on their feet. But Redditor u/Dead---inside asked people, "What's the dumbest thing you've seen someone do at a store?" And people answered with stories that go beyond simple human error. From bumbling thieves to bloody accidents, here are the best of the stories they shared.
10. They sent this thief packing
"My friend had someone purchase a suitcase. When she opened it as a matter of standard practice at check out, the rookie shoplifter had filled it with clothes. They just stammered that they didn't know any of that was in there. So she pulled it all out and put it to the side, at which point the cutomer decided they didn't want to buy the suitcase after all."
9. That mom should be more worried
Giphy"I watched a toddler drink nail polish. His mom didn't do anything besides take the bottle and do the weird violent angry whisper thing."
8. Those doors are tricky
"A guy stopped mid-cycle in the revolving door to pick up something he dropped on the floor and got whacked hard in the rear when another customer entered."
7. He looked like a fool
"Worked at a pet store and watched a guy try and shove a huge aquarium filter in his hoodie. Then he had the balls to approach the counter with this protruding abnormally from his belly and tried to buy something.
I laughed and told him to return it or I'd call the cops, he looked shook up, waddled back to the aisle and put it on the shelf. Told him on the way out to never return."
6. This woman didn't want milk in her milkshake
Giphy"Okay so I was at work in an ice cream shop. A lady comes in and orders a vanilla milkshake. She gets this nasty look on her face when I add the milk, but shrugs it off when I ask her about it. So I'm ringing her out, and she pays, and then goes right to my owner and complains about the service. 'I'd like to let you know that the 'boy' who just served me (I'm 19) was very rude to me.' 'What'd he do ma'am.' 'He made my milkshake with milk in it and I'm lactose intolerant. I demand a refund and for him to be fired.' I'm just sitting here dumbfounded how anyone could be so stupid. Ice cream, by it's very nature, Has milk."
5. Where do watermelons come from?
"The woman who was arguing with me (i was working in the produce dept of a grocery store) about how she didn't like how one side of the watermelon was flatter, paler, and a little dirty. I said, 'That's just how they get when they are on the ground.'
'What do you mean, 'when they are on the ground'?'
she thought watermelons grew on trees."
4. The rudest shoppers
"As someone who worked in retail, people who get things, put it in their cart, walk around the store, then realize they don't want it and plop it where they currently are.
Extra hate if it is a cold/hot item."
3. There are better solutions, sir.
"Not a store but restaurant. I had a gentlemen specifically request pecans on the side of his salad. When I arrived with his request he was very upset that they weren't far away enough....he was allergic. Didn't want them in the first place."
2. I'm glad this employee refused this dumb request
"I worked at a home improvement retailer. One guy wanted to buy an attic ladder; there's a display, but the actual product is stored in the overhead. So I got a lift truck and got one down for him. Dude wants to look at it; again, there's a display, but whatever, I open the box up so he can look at it. He decides yeah, that's what he wants.
M-Fer demands that I get another one down for him. His reason? 'The box is open on this one'.
(I refused)"
1. Think before you pull a trigger
"Years ago my Mom rented a large staple gun to upholster some chairs but it kept jamming.
Off we go to the rental place, the guy says 'Jamming, let's just see' and............................................... places it over the palm of his hand and pulls the trigger twice.
Blood everywhere, two large staples in his palm. Good thinking Bob!"
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
A series of YELP reviews can make or break a business.
Part of the anxiety in owning a business is the uncontrollable and lasting feedback from online reviews. One employee's off day mixed with a cranky customer can lead to lower ratings and even lost business. It seems like even the worst behaved customers can get away with anything.
But Redditor u/sam123786 wanted to turn the tables, and asked people to imagine a a reverse YELP where customers are rated, and people shared the reviews they would leave.
These dramatic customers
"The couple that spent most of their visit at the restaurant kissing and cuddling. Their food's obviously gone cold but they've eaten almost all of it, leaving a tiny bit of peas and fishbones on the plates. Asked for a dessert menu and went to the terrace to smoke, came back after good half hour, plates taken away and table cleaned. Got furious saying 'how could you take our food away, we're not paying the bill'. Literally 5 peas on the plates. 0/10"
People act very differently when you're not face-to-face
"Racist, insufferable client attacked me over an issue I was helping him/her fix, insulted my English and generally was a xenophobic and racist person. 0/5 would not recommend.
You really don't know how trashy people can be until you're tech support. Not seeing your face makes them a heck of a lot more rude and racist."
Max was a good man
"When I used to work at my parents deli a few years back, our deli's neighbor, Max, used to come in to the store at 5 AM and make himself coffee, untie the newspapers, and ******** a bit with dad. This guy also taught me about baseball and the Yankees when I was a kid. He also showed me how to play golf. He was the grandpa that I never had in America. RIP Max. 5 out of 5."
The entitlement is real
"I worked at a bagel shop in a retirement community in Arizona and it was snowbird season (snowbirds are retired people from colder places who spend the winter in Arizona). A lot of our customers were... I guess entitled is the right word to use. I had a man lecture me and my manager for a good 20 minutes about how the tomatoes on his sandwich weren't ripe enough. I had a woman who made us remake her sandwich 5 times because the bagel wasn't toasted to her liking."
This disgusting customer
"Customer **** on the floor and some people fell in it. Not impressed, had to clean it up."
New gloves weren't fresh enough
Giphy"I told customer that he wasn't allowed in the store and he pushed past me then complains to me about not being smart enough about the coronavirus after I put on a fresh glove. He didn't even tip. 1/5"
Budget for tips
"Our number one rule - always tip well. We are teaching our kids if you don't have enough $ for the tip - get fast food or eat at home."
A desperate customer
"She pried open two sets of doors after we had been closed for 30 minutes. 0/5 stars for being unable to read the print on those doors that say when we close."
They didn't understand fractions
"'A lady became angry and confused when she was told that a half pepperoni, half vegetable pizza still costs as much as a whole pizza. 0/10 brain cells.'"
Most parents wouldn't do this
"Her kids dropped the popcorn so she asked me for a broom to let them clean it up themselves. I said it wasn't necessary but she insisted that she wanted to raise them to be conscious of the fact that when they make a mess someone has to clean it up. Nice lady. 5/5"
A handsome guest
Giphy"I stayed at an AirBnB in China and my host reviewed me.
Google translation: 'Very Handsome Big Boy'"
Kindness matters
"This girl was clearly having a bad day. She seemed really angry and upset. I tried my best to help, but there wasn't much I could do. I took her order, served her as usual. She got a call and walked out of the restaurant. I went to the table and found a 50 dollar bill and a sweet little note about how her husband died and she really appreciates my patience. 5 stars, best customer."
Cashiers don't control the price of milk
"The lady who yelled at me on the second day of my first job over the price of milk can have a solid 1 star."
The model customer
"Came in. Ordered. Ate their food in silence. Left minimal mess and a reasonable tip. Then buggered off.
My perfect customer.
5 stars."
The police had to get involved with this one...
"Drunken fool tried to return half bottle of booze because it 'tastes off.' Watch him get in his car and promptly called police to report drunken driver."
A repeat offender
"A customer walked in the front door of my very closed, curbside only pub today and asked if we had any steak. He had to ignore a giant sign saying PLEASE STAY OUTSIDE WE WILL BRING YOUR PHONE/ONLINE ORDER OUT TO YOU. Zero out of five stars. I almost had a rage stroke."
Not a pervert
"Nice, pleasant man. Always orders the same sandwich every time, making preparing for him simple despite the complicated sandwich. Tips well, never talks longer it takes to complete his order. Also, the only male regular over 50 that doesn't leer at my coworker. 5 stars."
Just tell the truth!
Giphy"She lied about her hair history, wanted white blonde in one session on her 'virgin' dark hair that the strand test determined was a lie. Said she could do it herself at home, turned hair orange instead. Came back to get a color correction and after explaining why she couldn't have blonde she said she'd settle for anything but orange and lighter than the dark. Gets a beautiful chocolate/caramel color and cries because it's not blonde and too expensive, and also leaves no tip. -5 stars, not worth my time"
This customer wanted VIP access
Guy comes in in the middle of the festival, no reservation, by car, and blames ME because it took him 2 hours to go the entrance of the city to my hotel because there are 200,000 people walking around the streets, and police barages to help the flow of pedestrians.
Then he blames ME again because he did all of this for nothing because we're full. What did he think would happen, walking-in with no reservation during the city's largest festival?
1 star, would not recommend.
We love this idea! What do you think? Let us know in the comments below.
"Can I speak to your manager?" The dreaded words that no employee wants to hear. Not because it's an actual threat, but because the complaints are typically so unnecessary and excessive. Here are some of the weirdest complaints, recalled by the managers themselves.
u/TheB*tchIsBack666 asked:
Managers of Reddit, what's the weirdest complaint you've gotten about an employee?
Beast Mode.
GiphyI own an establishment that serves alcohol. We had a guy complain that the bartender was pouring his beer into "gay glassware" and I need to train him to pour beer for men into manly glasses. He was dead serious.
This bar near me has a drink called Beast Mode and it comes in a flower teacup with matching saucer.
What a miserable person.
I had a customer complain that our carrot sticks were too thick and were for horses. She threw it at my server...which she then ran to me in tears. I walked out there and she was just some stupid c**t who wanted to make someone have a bad day. Her words were, "it's our job as customers to let you know everything that's wrong."
How about you f*ck your self and treat people like human beings?
These all sound like good things.
I'm not a manager, but I once worked with a manager who liked to share the oddball complaints with us.
The manager of another department made a formal complaint against me because I was too friendly. He felt it was a huge waste of his precious time to have to say hello back to me every time we passed in the hallway.
One of my colleagues had a complaint made against him for being too helpful. He offered to press the lift call button for a woman in a wheelchair, who couldn't reach it by herself. She found it 'belittling'.
Another colleague was accused of being too happy. Whistling a tune while walking from one work order to the next. Disgusting.
And I collected another complaint for being too quick. A user claimed that I couldn't possibly have fixed his computer in the few minutes I spent in his office. The manager got him to switch it on and he had to admit that it worked fine now.
Someone's sensitive.
GiphyNot a manager but years ago at a job I got called into the office of the big boss. My boss was also there. I was told about my unacceptable behavior from that morning. Confused, I asked what I did. Apparently, my boss passed by my desk that morning and said "good morning" and I said nothing back. They told me it was unprofessional to be giving her "the silent treatment."
I laughed because I thought they were joking around. They were totally f*cking serious and didn't believe me when I said I just didn't hear her. They gave me an hour speech about how mean and unprofessional I was and how bad I hurt my bosses feelings.
Sounds like a you problem.
Not a manager but we had a girl who always used to complain about new people not knowing how to do simple things even though it was HER responsibility to teach them how to do said things
This is kinda funny.
I managed a IT desk for a very large corporation, and we got a complaint about a guy giving inappropriate temporary passwords when they would call in to get their passwords reset on their accounts. Example being "whiskerbiscuit 420" or "millertime69"
Sounds fake but ok.
GiphyThat one of our employees started clapping when he heard a customer said they would take their business elsewhere. Doesn't sound abnormal until you looked over and saw he was carrying a very large box with two hands, and impossible for him to clap at all.
There was only 2 employees in the area. The manager who she was speaking to, and the man carrying the box.
Skeletor!
We have a store next to a massage business. A woman complained that the loud cackling of the manager of my store ruined her massage. Really funny.
Was your manager Skeletor?
Not a valid reason.
One of the trades working for me right now asked me to kick a guy off site because he doesn't talk much. Like, the guy was competent, friendly enough, but just didn't really have a lot to say about anything. Other workers on site would pester him about things and he'd give 2-3 word answers most of the time.
I get that people like to be able to talk to people working next to them, but how am I supposed to justify getting this guy off site simply for not being talkative?
Wow.
Manger at Walmart. A older woman would call at least once a week for a month to complain that my employee was a witch who put a curse on the toaster she bought and she wanted the employee fired.
Tell her the employee has been disciplined. Then tell her she can remove the curse by toasting rye bread or something silly like that.
Some managers think that their employees are robots.
The worst kind of job is one that has no regard for your health and safety. "State of emergency? You better still make it to your shift!" "In the hospital? Too bad, be here or else you're fired." Everyone deals with an unreasonable and inconsiderate boss at some point in their working career.
Redditor u/clusterpucks asked... "What is the most bonkers thing that happened to you or your work and your employer STILL expected you to continue your work day?" and people responded with ridiculous work horror stories.
20. It was like a hurricane didn't just happen
"Hurricane Katrina was going to make landfall that day, and the owner of the restaurant I was managing at the time got super pissed when I said I wasn't coming in..,
After the storm hit and devastated New Orleans, the owner was calling me because they needed people to open the restaurant. The roof had blown off of my house, and I was asking him where was I going to live while I worked for him. He said to just get a hotel, as if he was paying me enough to afford such a thing. I also think hotels were pretty well full? Not sure."
19. Designer pirates
"Worked for a small graphic design company fresh out of school. They used cracked software, didn't really pay anyone and were generally shady but I didn't really think anything of it, until the FBI showed up.
Apparently they also didn't pay their taxes and so my boss was taken away in handcuffs and the office was closed.
Or so I thought.
Our boss called our creative director from jail and told us to work from this seedy motel room he set up to finish up the assignment or else we wouldn't get paid.
Nobody showed apparently as we all decided now would be a good time to look for new opportunities."
18. It'll be there forever
"Someone spilled (or poured out) a bottle of deer attractant on the floor under the shelves in the sporting goods section of WalMart. Stank of deer piss for...well, actually, it probably still does. They never cleaned it, and we had ammo to sell."
17. Hopefully the managers let it slide
"The bank across the street from my office was robbed. Not only were we expected to keep on working, the CEO sent out an email forbidding employees to discuss it and telling managers to discipline those who did, even if the employee was on break/calling their family to tell them they were ok."
16. Maybe be nice to the person caring for your loved one
"I work home health aid. Nice old lady but the daughter is a wack job. Long story super short, I was called an imcompenent idiot because her mother had an accident IN THE BATHROOM and it got all over the floor. I was so floored I didn't say anything. So I assumed I would be sent home (24 hr overnight care), she then told me to not be mean to her mother and left the house."
15. When management doesn't care about your major accident
"Part of my job at a vitamin company was doing pick-ups and deliveries. One day when I was bringing a load of stuff back for a big run I got t-boned by a lady talking on her phone and running a red light, she scrunched my van into a telephone pole so the fire department had to cut the van apart to get me out. Once I got to the hospital and was able to make a call, I called the company to let them know what had happened. The production manager only wanted to know why it was taking so long and how soon was I going to be back and he didn't want any excuses."
14. Eyes are more important than fried chicken
"During my study I worked at a very well known fried chicken restaurant. When taking the chicken out of the fryer some frying oil came up and landed in my eye. Of course I went straight for the eye shower to clean it out. While I do this the manager walks up to me and asks if I couldn't have put the chicken on the plates and into the elevator first. I quit the next day."
13. The supervisor couldn't even pretend to care
"I was a nurse working in a dialysis clinic and got a call from my grandmother saying she didn't feel well. After doing some telephone triage, it was apparent she was having a heart attack and needed to go to the ER immediately... I left after notifying my supervisor. I hadn't even made it to my car when I got a call from the nurse manager, who verified that I had left. I told her yes, my grandmother is having a heart attack and I'm on my way to meet her at the ER. She then asked me what time I would be reporting for my shift the following day.
I quit on the spot."
12. Sales over everything
"Last year I worked in a small store at a mall and halfway through my shift a guy had a heart attack and died in the back of our store. We had to close the store so the paramedics could try to save him without people in the way. Our district manager told us it was up to my manager if she wanted to stay closed, because it's kind of traumatic to watch a guy die, and my manager said she'd discuss it with my coworker and I. Then, while my coworker was having an existential crisis in the back room, I saw her reopen the store without even talking to us and started ringing out customers on the security cameras (one of which got really pissy with me when I was trying to close the store originally, because I wouldn't open the jewelry case to let her browse our jewelry...). I left, taking my panicked coworker with me. I don't work there anymore."
11. I wouldn't ask to leave
Giphy"If there were tornado sirens, we were supposed to stay seated keep working until the boss said so."
10. A sign on the door would have sufficed
"Right after Hurricane Sandy, the bank I worked for had no power for days, so obviously we couldn't do any banking. Rather than just close, my manager insisted that the entire staff show up for shifts as usual, just so we could sit in our normal seats in our uniforms and winter jackets to tell any customers who wandered in that we didn't have power and couldn't help them with anything at all.
Just about every single person asked us some variation of 'then what the hell are you doing here?' It sucked."
9. They go to take their ties off, how thoughtful
Giphy"The air-conditioning broke down and people started passing out from the heat.
But they let us take our ties off, so that was generous."
8. I'd sneak on home then
"Federal agents with a search warrant shut down all the computers so they could image the drives.
We puttered around for hours before we finally got sent home at the regular time. However, long lunches and gym visits were permitted."
7. Who hasn't sat in a powerless/internetless office "just in case"?
"The power went out at 8 a.m., but we weren't allowed to go home. We sat around doing nothing for nearly eight hours, 'just in case' the power came on. Then our boss said if it didn't come on by 4 p.m., we could go home and the work schedule would be pushed ahead a full day. Power came on at 3:50 p.m. and we had to do our full workload."
6. Blood splatter is bad for business...
Giphy"I was working at a pet store and was used to being bitten by the pets we sold, hamsters, ferrets, birds - no big deal.
This day, however, as I was helping a woman who had brought her dog in, it attacked me. Luckily it was a small-ish/medium sized dog so it didn't get my face, but I had big bleeding holes all up and down one arm. The lady never said sorry, and my manager told me to go to the back, get cleaned up, and come back out and ring on the resister. So I did, with big blood splatters all over my yellow uniform shirt."
5. Some employers just don't listen to their employees
"I told my employer I was moving across country and that my last day was in two weeks
The day came and they called me as I was on the road asking if I was going to come in"
4. When results matter more than safety
"Automotive painting. Been complaining about my mask parts needing replacing for a few weeks. Finally my mask broke and I refused to paint because toxic fumes where coming into my mask. Being the only automotive painter.... work came to a halt. I was told to get in there and paint or else. I pointed at the security camera and asked him to say that again but a little louder. He fired 2 people that day but I wasn't one of them."
3. Don't let employees bleed in a workplace
"After leaving school I had an evening job at the cinema and I was punched by a patron, was still then expected to carry on for another 4 hours despite my bleeding everywhere
Let's just say I didn't come in for another shift after that!"
2. Do your own paperwork!
"I got a call one day from my cousin saying our house had been broken into. I went home to deal with it and file a police report, and it was honestly so stressful. My supervisor then rang me to ask what time I was planning on coming back to work later in the day because she had paperwork for me to finish."
1. Getting hit by a car wasn't a good enough excuse
"I had been in an accident where I was hit by a van when on my bike. I was on my way to the hospital and shot a quick text to my immediate boss to let him know that I might not be in the next day, as I didn't know what the damage was and how long I may be. He told me to take the day off to be sure I recovered properly.
The next day, his boss called me and asked me where the hell I was.
I told him I'd been hit by a van and he said, 'And?'
I didn't work there much longer after that."