weird

Top Stories

The Silliest Statements People Have Ever Heard Anyone Utter

Reddit user Automatic_Hedgehog71 asked: 'What is the silliest statement you have ever heard someone make?'

Woman with face to palm
Jussara Paulo/Unsplash

Kids say the cutest things, don't they?

Their unfiltered observations about life's many mysteries can be downright hilarious and serve as reminders of their pure innocence.

But it's less forgivable when adults make naive comments because, well, shouldn't they know better?

That's not always the case, however.

Curious to hear ridiculous examples of the things grown people say, Redditor Automatic_Hedgehog71 asked:

"What is the silliest statement you have ever heard someone make?"

Some people should really think twice before opening their mouth.

Work Of Art

"'How did they get the paint all the way up the sides?' -Middle-aged woman touring the Meteor Crater in AZ."

“'That’s not paint, those are the actual colors of the rock' -Her husband, giving her a long stare and walking away."

– ghostbungalow

For Trial And Error

"I had a boss say 'oh you don’t want kids, you should just have one to try it out.'"

"Really, and what happens if I find out that I truly don’t want kids? Can we just put it back where it came from?"

– tyintegra

Confused Soldier

"I worked at a place that gave a military discount."

"Family (mom, dad, adult son, adult daughter) walked in. Dad was reading the prices and pointed out to the son that he could get a discount!"

"This kid takes the sign, reads it, and says, as God is my witness:"

"I'm not in the military. I'm in the Army."

– JustMeerkats

To Live Or Let Die

"Someone once told me that paramedics/nurses/doctors are not allowed to do CPR on someone they know because it’s 'a conflict of interest.'”

– corviknight2259

It's a wonder how some people manage to live in the real world.

Know Your Audience When Using Big Words

"Sat down to eat with a friend. I said 'I'm famished' she looked at me, laughed and LOUDLY she said to me 'I swear you make up words sometimes.'"

– NotBadSinger514

"Oh man people say this to me all the time! Why did I read books and learn so many words, when no one understands them, and I really didn't think they were so pretentious, words like Famished."

– Person_Letter_629

Not Icarus

"A friend of mine said she got more tanned when riding her bike than she did when walking because on her bike, she was 'closer to the sun.'"

– Five_Star_Amenities

"This just reminded me of a time I was out on a boat with a big group of people and one of them said 'I’m so glad it’s windy, I won’t get sunburned' they thought the wind would push the light away from their skin. I was the only one to say it definitely doesn’t work like that and I could tell they thought I was wrong."

– Thbbbt_Thbbbt

The Symptoms Indicate Otherwise

"Earlier today I offered a cough drop upon my flight’s landing to the lady wet coughing right behind me the whole flight."

'Oh, no thanks, I’m not sick. I just went to Oregon and have felt awful the whole time since.'

"Okay…so…sick"

– ACaparzo

Completely Lost

"A friend once said she couldn't take Southwest Airlines because she was flying east to Florida."

– ProudCatLadyxo

"How do they get the planes back? Do they repaint them as Northeast? Or do they just push them?"

– ch4m3le0n

"They just keep flying south until they come back around."

– frymeyourpoop

A Silly Sports Spectator Said

"I was at a baseball game in Cincinnati and the teenage girl behind turned to her friend and said 'this is so cool, it's almost like we're watching it live.' I think about that a lot."

"EDIT: based on the look of the girls and their other conversations this was no joke, there was no laughing either. Don't remember the exact year but flip phones were the most common cell phone and we had seats in the outfield so she didn't appear to be watching the game thru her phone. This also wasn't the first time that day where I heard them say something and I stopped what I was doing and stared straight into space, just the most memorable. They seemed like nice enough girls, no malicious or rude conversations, it just appeared like they lacked some basic intelligence for some relatively simple concepts."

– Michael_With_An_M

You can't be difficult and clueless at the same time, can you?

Observe exhibits A, B, & C.

Unpalatable Texture

"A woman tried to send back a dish. She didn’t understand the components of it and tried to tell me that she couldn’t eat it because she was allergic to crunchy. Like yeah the texture. Not the ingredient that we had made crunchy."

– BuckleupBirds

"LMAO. Makes me feel better about the guy who asked a friend (server) for ‘Mushroom risotto, but without the rice’."

– Mavises

I'll Have The Pie And Ice Cream With A Side Of Ice Cream

"Had an older family member that back in the day went to a diner and ordered the 'pie a la mode' from the menu. He then proceeded to ask the waitress if they could put a little ice cream on top of that. : )"

– Fluffing_Satan

My husband and I were walking around a gift shop in Solvang, CA, and marveling at some of the various tchotchkes.

One of them was a MOVA globe.

MOVA globes are usually about the size of a softball held up by three small supports, and they rotate without the use of electrical wires or batteries.

Instead, they're powered by the combination of solar cells and torque from the earth's magnetic field. We didn't know this at the time, however.

When a worker nearby saw us being mesmerized by the shelf of spinning globes, he commented, "Cool, right?"

And I replied, "Yeah, how does it work?"

The dude gave a sly smile and said:

"It's an optical delusion."

Or illusion...

People Describe The Weirdest Thing That's Ever Happened To Them

Reddit user Key_Nectarine_1969 asked: 'What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done that you could only tell people anonymously?'

Man standing behind large flowers
Quinn Buffing on Unsplash

We've all done things, or in some cases, regularly do things that others might consider weird.

Even so, we often feel no shame or embarrassment and embrace how unusual these habits are, and take our friends teasing or laughing at us for doing so in stride.

Sometimes, however, we might not like to advertise some of our unusual habits or actions and make every effort to keep them a well-guarded secret.

As raised eyebrows are much easier to take than blatant judgment from friends and peers.

Redditor Key_Nectarine_1969 was curious to hear all the weird things people have done which they still keep under lock and key, leading them to ask:

"What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done that you could only tell people anonymously?"

The Devil [Dogs] Is In The Detail...

"All throughout middle school, there was someone who tucked unwrapped Hostess Devil Dogs into the toilet paper dispensers in the bathrooms, so that when you pulled some toilet paper out, the devil dog would fall out into your hand."

"We had to have an assembly about it."

"That person... Was me."- bejeweled_sky

Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time

"Was drunk at an escape room with coworkers."

"It was an extreme one where you are handcuffed the entire time."

"I decided in my drunken state that it would be bada** to dislocated my thumb and slip off the cuffs like the movies."

"It wasn't."

"We got kicked out, my coworkers were weirded out and I had to go to the hospital."

"I quit a few weeks later."

"White collar wasn't for me."- Grotesque-penguin

The Bread Of Heaven

"Stole over 1,000 wafers from church because I really liked the communion wafers & didn’t know where else to get them."

"I felt really blessed & cursed for a long time."- hALLIEcinate

catholic the exorcist GIF Giphy

Retracing Steps...

"Once I got off the subway in NYC and I was super early for an appointment."

"So I picked a random guy and just followed him on foot for like 30 minutes, pretending I was like a private detective or something."

"Always kept about a half block behind."

"He turned this way and that, and eventually went into a building I had lived in 9 years earlier."

"It was weird, and so was I."- OKsurewhynotyep

Hygeine Be Damned...

"I found a dead rat in a field when i was younger and kissed it bc I wanted to say goodbye."- qeleia

exercise push up GIF Giphy

Bad Decisions Have A Way Of Getting Back To You...

"We got super drunk and ate a ton of spicy food in New Orleans."

"Back at the B&B, the food started to come out the back side."

"I was sitting on the toilet sh*tting bricks of fire."

"At that moment, the booze decided to hang a u-turn."

"The trash can was out of reach and I couldn't risk standing up from the toilet for even 5 seconds."

"The closest receptacle was the bathtub."

"I managed to turn in such a way that I could keep shi*ting in the toilet while projectile vomiting into the tub."

"Both ended up clogged, and there was no plunger."

"I had to call the owner to explain that I had destroyed both their toilet and their tub simultaneously."- HoopOnPoop

Things Best Left To Professionals...

"My partner is weirdly prone to cysts."

"I had to drain a 3 inch cyst on her back (thankfully she had a dr's appt the next week), then multiple other little cysts on her legs and chest."

"I never told her to her face but that first giant cyst literally haunted me, the amount of pus and blood I saw....good heavens."- SleepyBiologist

uruguay spot GIF by sargentoPez Giphy

At Least A Lesson Was Learned...

"When I was walking to school one morning, I saw a kid (7-8 yo?) kicking a dog."

"I ran over & kicked the kid and asked him how it felt."

"He ran off and no one saw."

"Still not sorry."- sneezyailurophile

All Creatures Deserve Love

"I was extremely socially isolated as a child and tried to make friends with the coyotes who lived in the woods by our home."

'I caught one in a snare and fed and kept her."

"I wanted a friend."- letthetreeburn

That's What Friends Are For...

"My wife and her best friend pick me up from a frat party black out drunk."

"Then they helped me take a sh*t on the toilet, wiped my a** and then gave me a shower and put me to bed naked."

"Don’t remember any of it."- nc3100

Party Love GIF by Chris Cimino Giphy

Not The Right Kind Of Manure...

"One time I went outside at like 2AM and put the garden hose nozzle into my butthole and sprayed some water into it, then farted it out onto the lawn."

"Basically gave myself an enema with a garden hose."

"I did this because I was bored."

"My neighbour saw me and told my dad (lived at home at the time)."- WaspsInMyGoatse

A Little Fantasy Now And Then...

"When I was younger I joined an international dating site that I figured was a scam."

"Put a black square as my picture and gave myself a fake name, and then looked through their users."

"And after about 10 minutes I had like a 100 messages."

"Most of them were messages telling me how handsome I was or how these women fell in love with me at first site."

"Now I knew it was a scam but when ever I felt down or got rejected for a while I would pop back on the site and read a few messages."

'Yeah it’s kinda cringy and probably pathetic but it made me feel better."

"I would just turn off that logical part of my brain that knew it was a scam for awhile and just pretend I was this popular and desirable guy."

"And it honestly got me through the day sometimes."- Demonking3343

dating app GIF Giphy

If anyone says they've never done anything they're ashamed, or at the very least less-than-proud of, in all likelihood, they are lying.

Or, more likely, they understandably want to pretend that it never happened.

Which might be a little easier than harboring a secret.



People say the darndest things after -- and sometimes during -- lovemaking.

Maybe it's the euphoria.

Maybe it's the adrenaline.

Maybe it's the tequila.

It's always good to have a kind-hearted joke on hand or a generic compliment.

Or maybe just grab your belongings and skedaddle.

Redditor ella-es-julia wanted to hear about the craziest pillow talk stories, so they asked:

"Men of Reddit: What's the weirdest thing a girl said to you after sex?"

The weirdest I ever got was... "What city am I in again?"

Geography matters.

Morbid Much?

In Bed Home GIF Giphy

"Met girl, went on date, brought girl home, had the sex, finished the sex, laying there she says 'What would you do if I died right now?' and demanded an actual answer."

Vixxay

Meow

"Not to me, but as she walked over to the bathroom after the deed, she said 'I just did your owner' to my cat. Sexiest thing that ever happened to me."

shlanky369

"My Fiancé and I were about to start going at it when the cat appeared from under the bed and stared at me. I went, 'Babe the cat is here. I don't like how he's staring at my boobs."

"Fiancé grabbed the cat and yeeted him into the hallway with the phrase, 'Get out you weird pervert.'"

"The cat proceeded to (without his claws) smack the door over and over again while screaming for a few minutes straight. Pervert."

Trumpet6789

POP!

"'I need you to take me to the hospital. Something is now bleeding and hurts.'"

"Turns out her ovarian cyst popped. We're still together with the running joke of sex so good it put her in the ER."

DasBatt

"Ah ah ah, 2 hemorrhagic cysts ruptured, I was bleeding internally, but only a little bit. I'm still impressed by how quickly you went from a naked sex stupor to being ready and carrying me to the car. Good times."

"In the ER when they asked me what happened all I could do was shout 'we were f**kin!' through my tears. That memory still makes me laugh."

Straystar-626

Damn it's Good

"We were going at it for some time then her face went instantly from 'damn it's good' to full-on crying. I stop, ask her what's wrong and she tells me 'I can't cheat on my boyfriend, it is wrong.'"

"So this is when I learned that the girl that I met on a dating website and that I started seeing 3 weeks before and that she told me she was single had a boyfriend for over 5 years. Got her to talk more, and she told me she was on the dating website to see if there were guys better than her boyfriend so she could end up with someone better."

"This was like 20 years ago, a coworker I have right now knows her (his girlfriend is like a distant relative of hers) and I learned she had 5 different boyfriends since then, cheated on all of them except the last one (for now). She was also a cam model in secret, one of the boyfriends was a high-paying customer."

draftstone

A Binding Contract

"'Pleasure doing sex business with ya.' We then shook hands."

"Still together 5 years later!"

Tatarstan

It's nice when people who have great sex make great partners.

And it all starts with a handshake.

Sleep on It

“'I don’t usually say this but, yeah, you can stay.'"

lennyukdeejay

"Did you high-five after that? Seems like that statement called for it."

EvilNinjaX24

"This is the best one."

TomKhatacourtmayfind

Tiny Dancer

"Not really weird but I slept with this girl while backpacking Asia, she was also a backpacker. After a bit of chillin'/talking, I got up to get dressed, she looked at my flaccid manhood and said 'You're quite shy when you're not excited.' I thought it was hilarious."

fleetwoodsackk

"That's a much better way to put it. My wife, when we were just dating and had moved in together and eventually saw it flaccid just said 'Aww, it's so little.' Thanks, hun, exactly what every guy wants to hear."

striker180

Fine!

"She said 'If I get pregnant I'm keeping it.' I was dumbfounded and when I didn't respond quickly enough she got really agitated like I had hurt her feelings and yelled 'Fine! You don't have to be involved if you don't want to!'"

"We had just met that night. My condom use skyrocketed after that night."

Fullyme

"When I was a poverty-stricken college student I was banging a girl who said, 'If you get me pregnant I’ll take you for everything you own.' I said, 'All I own is my bicycle. You want that?'”

OrwellWasRight101

Amen

"Best weird compliment I ever got was 'Damn boy, you f**k like the Devil!'"

"I married her, we still goin' at it."

BeBearAwareOK

Well, these certainly created some lasting relationships... or hilarious tales to tell their friends.

Do you have any stories to share? Let us know in the comments below.

woman in black pants and red tank top
Jakayla Toney on Unsplash

Giving compliments is pretty easy, although most of us don't do it often enough.

Accepting compliments can be much harder.

Too many of us immediately shift into disclaimers to explain why we don't deserve the praise.

But we just need to say thank you—even if the compliment is a little odd.

Keep reading... Show less

Every now and again, we might experience something that makes us stop dead in our tracks or gives us the shivers.

More often than not, there is a logical explanation for what happened, often resulting in our laughing about it down the line.

An electrical power surge caused the lights to flicker, that haunting noise we heard was just a nearby car radio, or that unexplained cold blast of air was simply owing to our standing too close to the air conditioning vent.

But sometimes, we experience something we simply cannot explain, and still lie awake at night trying to figure it out.

Redditor GifGuyRob was curious to hear people's mystifying experiences to which they still can't offer an explanation, leading them to ask:

"What is the weirdest thing you have seen that you can’t really explain?"

Card Tricks... Without The Cards.

"I was hanging out on the sidewalk in front of a drugstore when some dude walked by, stopped, looked at me, and asked me to think of a card, any card."

"Then he said 'you’re picturing the five of clubs!'"

"I was amazed."

"That’s the card I was thinking of."

”'Holy sh*t, that’s right!' I said."

"The dude just winked and walked away."

"That’s the best magic trick I’ve ever seen, and it was some rando on the street that I never saw again."

"I have no clue how he did it, other than some form of subliminal planting of the image in my mind, but that’s unreliable."

"It was a card trick that involved no cards at all."

"That was the most inexplicable thing I’ve ever seen."- I_Framed_OJ

Cosmic Injustice...

"In a hospital, the nicer the patient, the worse the prognosis."

"If they work charities and are really polite, definitely aggressive cancer."

"If they are rude a**holes, they will live long no matter how sick they are."- Koorsboom

The Knocks Hospital GIF by feierSun Giphy

Paranormal Activity

"I once saw a clipboard fly off of the hook it hung on and land around 3 feet away."

"The room was totally still beforehand, no breeze or earthquake or anything."

"Just hanging up where it always was, then flung across the room for no reason at all."

"Most boring poltergeist ever."- Reiseoftheginger

Lucky Pennies...

"I was living in my last apartment back in the 90s."

"I walked down the hall, turned to go to the bathroom, and got hit in the back with a penny."

"Nobody else was in the apartment."- kmsc84

Wrong Floor...

"Family was on holiday at a resort in Vietnam."

"My sister and I took an elevator in the hotel and it stopped and opened up on the top floor, where nothing was built."

"Just bricks laying about, a wheelbarrow, no fence or wall around the edge of the building, and there was a single small tree growing out of the ground in front of the elevator doors a few feet out."

"There was also this impenetrable fog that was floating around, obscuring the sight of what would be the rest of the resort below and it was quite windy."

"We both agreed it was weird and looked dangerous to be up here - we clearly weren't meant to have access to the top floor since it wasn't fully constructed."

"We went back down to the ground floor and noticed that it was actually a sunny and clear day all round."

"We wondered where that fog and wind went to."

"So we decided to go back to the unfinished rooftop level to check again, but when we did it was perfectly fine and fully built."

"We couldn't explain it and couldn't find that half-built top floor again afterwards."- lifesnotperfect

Going Up 13Th Floor GIF by Taylor Swift Giphy

Not-So-Little Piggy

"My friends and I flashed a powerful light across a river and saw what appeared to be an absolutely massive boar."

"It then stood up on its hind legs and it simply did not compute."

"Immediate fear everyone ran."

"I was a kid but I have a very good memory and several friends that are positive they saw it as well."

"Idk."- 444jxrdan444

Unexplained Exit

"I went from driving on one highway to another highway in pouring rain."

"Still headed in the right direction, and about 10 miles in total displacement."

"But I consciously chose one and was on it until I saw road signs telling me I was one the other."

"I just went numb."

"No loss of time or any other abnormality."

"If I didn’t have to actually make a distinct effort to choose the route I wanted, I can see how it might have been a simple mistake."

"But I was on the road I chose (geography etc) until I wasn’t."

"Like something picked me up and put me down instantaneously and I didn’t notice until how long?"- Stayvein

Creature Of The Night

"Actually, one that was recently solved thanks to the internet!"

"We used to have parakeets in an outside aviary."

"One night I was woken up by the budgies screaming and there was... some odd animal attacking it."

"It had a pointed, cone shaped head, no visible ears and a long tail that was not foxlike."

"But it wasn't a possum."

"It was thin and moved like a cat -- it jumped and moved lithely."

"I tapped on the sliding glass door and it stopped, cocked its head, and came over to look at me."

"We were looking eye-to-eye and for the life of me I still couldn't figure out a face."

"Now I was really into nature in my area, really into reading books and sh*t because I wanted to be a forest ranger, and I still couldn't identify this animal."

"Everyone who I told said it was a bad dream but it was real."

"Anyway, years later it was still the weirdest thing that happened to me."

"The internet had come along and I finally had my answer: I saw a Fisher!"

"It's a super rare animal in my area -- like 500 left, max."

"Kind of like a weasel, but heavier."

"They do have ears, btw."

"I assume it was hidden by fur."- Z0ooool

Cabin In The Woods

"When I was about 13 or 14 years old myself and two friends found a house in the middle of the woods that just didn't make sense."

"We were all neighbors, and along all three of our houses was a very large wooded area."

"It runs a few miles back and becomes a state forest."

"We had run around these woods plenty of times and even had areas we'd recognize as we went."

"This particular day we followed this ravine that was sometimes a stream, but was dry at this time."

"That part is important, because we followed that same ravine several times after that and never could find the house again."

"When I say the house didn't make sense, I mean it. It was a white trailer."

"I'd say a double-wide."

"There was white underpinning along the bottom."

"It was a poor country area, so that's not uncommon."

"But it was unusually clean."

"Like, brand new, perfectly white."

"But that's still not the weird part."

"It didn't have doors."

"Or windows."

"Or a driveway."

"We were in the middle of the woods."

"The entire walk through the woods is full of bushes, thorns, spiderwebs, bugs, vines, logs."

"Woods stuff."

"But this was a clearing of flat grass like someone mowed this area."

"We weren't afraid or anything while we were there."

"There really wasn't anything remarkable about it, and that's honestly what makes it so weird to think about to this day."

"We just walked around it for a bit, said it was kinda weird, and we went back on our adventure."

"Eventually we all just went home."

"I'm still friends with both of the other kids."

"We're in our 30s and I'm even going to a wedding for one of them this weekend."

"We've talked about it since, and the story still just doesn't add up."

"My parents still live in that house, and we spent years after that day exploring the woods all the time."

"Never found it again."- Lemonbeeee

Horror Home GIF by Knock At The Cabin Giphy

Sometimes our eyes might be playing tricks on us.

Other times, we know for certain what we're seeing is real, but simply can't explain what we're seeing.

Either way, there is little more disconcerting in this world than uncertainty.