Redditor figinjosejospe wanted to hear about what makes us yell a big NO for some things.
"What is your biggest turn off?"
I am easily turned off. It's my one flaw. Anything can do it. Alas...
Bad Sniffs
"When people smell bad. Hygiene is important."
ccherry124
Violet Reaction GIF by Murdoch MysteriesGiphyBetter
"One-uppers. Whatever you have done/seen or place you have gone, they have done it better."
UgliestDisability
"I struggle with this SO BADLY. I hear someone’s story and think 'I can relate! I’ve done XYZ' and tell the story. As soon as I see their facial expressions change I know they’ve taken it as me one upping. It’s so hard for me to relate without telling the story WHY I relate."
notanaltaccount88
Be Straight
"Deception. Say what you freaking mean, and your actions must match your words."
armywalrus
"I don't know if this counts as deception but I have the hardest time verbalizing my thoughts in the way that I think them. So I say something that doesn't match my thoughts but it's like theres a disconnect in my brain that doesn't let me say what I want to say. I've had multiple tbi's from a young age but I don't know if that has any to do with it."
potato-san
Just Listen
"When they constantly cut you off during a conversation."
Exact_Mammoth6874
"I noticed my bad habit of interrupting when I started dating my partner. I worked on it because it bothered him so much. Now when I'm around my family who I don't see often, I'm keenly aware of how bad we all are at it. Dinners, drinks, video calls are a literal cacophony of people talking over each other and having to repeat yourself because no one listens."
helenmaryskata
Over time...
"Entitlement."
Hercdajerk35
"Having been on this earth almost six decades, I can say this has definitely gotten worse over time. Now, you can see it getting worse by the year."
Cautious-Damage7575
Blm Fight Me GIF by Holly LoganGiphyI hate entitled people. Nobody is owed anything.
That's all...
"When a person is rude or just behaves poorly and everyone around them says, 'that's just how he/she is.' No. There is no excuse for piss poor behavior."
Sarahkm90
No Way Do Not Want GIF by Schitt's CreekGiphyBe Prudent
"Over sharing at social media."
naniyamanaki
"I had an ex who would straight up get pissed if I didn’t post about us on instagram or facebook back when I had it. Even if we just hung out and did nothing Lol. She got even more upset if I did post something and not include her... or if I got more likes than her."
AskinggAlesana
"Social media has completely ruined our brains… it’s so sad to realize the damage that’s been done in such a short amount of time."
e-commerceguy
Trash
"Littering. I absolutely hate it when people litter just because 'there is no trashcan close' or 'Yeah, but everything here is anyway already dirty.' That makes me so annoyed and just ugh. I can understand that it's annoying to keep on holding onto trash but like... It's not that difficult."
TheWanderingLich
Lips Together
"Open mouth chewer. Or any kind of lip smacking while eating."
welshegg
"At a family reunion, I got seated in front of a woman I hadn't met before. Food gets there and we started loading ourselves up. I still remember what we had: tostadas."
"They're a flat baked or fried tortilla topped with pretty much whichever ingredients you want. Usually meat, some veg, cheese, cream, and salsa. This is relevant because half of that food ended up smeared on her face. I have never seen a grown a** adult eat like that. Open mouth chewing, with food actually spilling out as she ate."
"Loud, boisterous talking and laughing, with more, half chewed food spilling out everywhere. And napkins seemed to not be a thing for her because she never used one, making all the cream and salsa get stuck to her lips and cheeks. I was freaking disgusted, as was everyone around her. That was not a pleasant meal."
Ihlita
Hang Up
"Using phones every time we hang out."
mortally_guarded
"My wife has a friend that if you aren’t talking to her about only her, she zones out and just stares at her phone."
mofoofinvention
phone glow GIF by jjjjjohnGiphyWhen the turn is off. It's off. And that's all.
There's no magic formula. You don't need to be a "pick up artist."
You're not still single just because you're short, guys.
It's not because you think Crocs are a formal shoe, even though they're just not. People will be willing to forgive that if you rock it with enough swag.
It's not any of that stuff.
Reddit user SmootPapi asked:
Girls of reddit, what are everyday things men do that turn you off?
Weirdly, Single Men, nowhere on this list was there anything like 'drive the wrong car' or 'have clean nails.' What DID make the list was:
Innuendo *heh-heh*
person innuendo GIFGiphy"When you're having a normal conversation and he turns it sexual, with no prompting or leading. We were literally talking about work and next minute he turns it into naked massages."
"Yeah, nah thanks." - NorthernSuburbNanny
"I was in group therapy and the therapist was talking about facials for self-care."
"The guy sitting next to me, who I hadn't actually spoken to much prior to this, turned to me and went 'I could give you one of those.' " - paredclia
"Oh my god I can't even describe how much I hate that. I love dirty jokes, innuendos etc. but if you turn every single thing into something sexual just know I'm leaving." - xtnts
"Bi guy, can confirm that gay and bi guys do it too. I wish more straight guys knew what that felt like."
"I remember one date where I probably would have gone to bed with him - if he'd just shut up about sex for five minutes so we could get to know each other first. Every topic I tried to introduce just got an awkward segue into something sexual."
"I get it, dude. You want sex. So do I. Just let me retain a tiny bit of self-respect in the process." - madsci
The Best
Video Games Lmao GIF by BounceGiphy"Turning everything into a competition."
"There's a certain subset of guys who think they can impress you by being 'the best' at something. Not just good, but specifically, 'the best.' "
"This leads to them gatekeeping and putting you and others down in order to prove their superiority, and this kind of behavior is just annoying." - Korrin
"Haha I remember a guy like this at University and he earned the nickname 'Topper' because anything you could do, he could 'top.' Needless to say none of us lady folk swooned." - Tea_Breeze
The Staff
rude bon qui qui GIFGiphy"Being rude to strangers, especially wait staff and retail workers."
"That was always one of my indicators when I was dating; how well they treated workers. My boyfriend is great. He used to work at a restaurant so he gets it." - fotofae6
"When I was dating, if the guy was an @ss to servers or customer service folks, it was a hard pass. I don't have time for that kind of negativity in my life and it's usually indicative of much bigger maturity/attitude issues." - turtlebugchey
Body Shaming Shenanigans
done that's all folks GIF by Real housewives of AtlantaGiphy"I was on a date with a guy whose whole personality was basically 'My family is rich.' "
"We were walking down a city street and he said 'I'd really like a burrito!' I mentioned that there was a place around the corner that I loved."
"He went: 'No.. we shouldn't. I don't want to end up looking like HER.' And gestured to an overweight woman who was well within earshot."
"Date over." - illuniuhai
Hygiene
Nbc Primping GIF by HULUGiphy"Being unclean. Amazing how fast I can lose a lady boner when I see a Bathtub that has never been cleaned and a carpet so black I'm afraid to walk on it."
"Also its amazing how many men have awful breath?? Like I'm attracted and then I go in for a kiss and I'm hit with awful death breath and suddenly I just wanna go home."
"Have good oral hygiene and carry some mints around (applies to all genders)" - SenPay_Me
"I had a guy friend stay over my place for 6 days and he only brushed his teeth 3 times... in 6 days."
"He constantly vapes and his teeth are yellow. And he still had the audacity to make suggestive moves on me as if I'd be interested!"
"Some people just need to get a clue." - chawcolate
"I went on a few dates with a guy, and then went back to his place to use the bathroom. His toothbrush looked absolutely disgusting, if he could put that in his mouth happily then I didn't want to know what else his hygiene was like."
"Another guy hid his teeth in his photos, but when I saw him in person I understood why. His teeth were rotten to f*ck."
"He tried to say he had some thing from when he was a baby that made it so all of his adult teeth just rotted away so he gave up cleaning them, and thought he could have the whole lot fixed with veneers."
"Except I work in dentistry, so it was great fun listening to his excuses but veneers would do nothing for his mess. Some teeth needed removing they were rotten down to the gum."
"Later on he asked if he could kiss me, and I said no thanks. He went on a rant about how he brushed his teeth for me, just in case I kissed him."
"F*cking hell mate, you should be brushing your teeth every day no matter what!" - Isgortio
How Would You Even Know?
days month GIFGiphy"Saying "it can't hurt that bad" when I have cramps" - smokymoonVR
"In addition to this, I've heard 'You get it every month so you should be used to it by now, right?' " - fluffbao
"Once had a guy say periods couldn't be that bad because 'women only lose 16 teaspoons of blood' per period."
"Jesus Christ I hope younger women aren't tolerating these insensitive pieces of sh*t." - Cold_Ad136
Anger Issues
Angry Grigor Dimitrov GIF by Tennis TVGiphy"Angry men scare me."
"They don't even have to be yelling about it. But just that tension, you can feel it that they are not in a good mood, a bit angry... That's frightening. I just do my best to avoid that altogether." - IiAshleyiI
"Getting really angry and aggressive when something bad happens."
"Yeah, I get it, it sucks when things suck, but if you're getting aggressive (yelling, slamming things, taking that tone that's like "if you even so much as LOOK at me wrong i'll bite your hand off for it") over it, that sucks. It's scary to people who are smaller than you." - Vishuual
These Gestures Are Offensive In Other Countries | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
People explain the friendly gestures in one country that are offensive in another. It's imperative to do a little research about the destinations and culture..."Ah, you met my father."
"Ladies, if you see this bullsh*t, RUN. Dad was an insufferable bastard."
"He chased the ducks with an axe cause he was mad; he threw the hammer at the sink because he was mad; he got into arguments and spat on a woman's car because he was mad; he waited in the parking lot with a gun because he was mad."
"You want no part in this, and your children don't deserve to grow up with bad associations with belts and metal spatulas."
"If he can't control his temper, he's not in good working order and should be sent back to the factory." - JustDiscoveredSex
Girlie Things
thrive love & hip hop GIF by Robert E BlackmonGiphy"When men act like 'stereotypically feminine' things are bad and refuse to try them; like taking a bath, a certain drink, lighting a candle or wearing nice scented colognes." - stressandscreaming
"This. I asked my father if he thought my wallet was cute and he responded that I had to reframe the question because as a man he can't use that type of word."
"What the hell is that all about??? Your masculinity will still be intact even if you say cute, or take a bath, or whatever. Calm down." - Broadway_Baby_99
"My boyfriend's brother called him a 'f-g' for drinking a wine cooler at a summer party."
"His cousin, who purchased them for us, was ranting for like 5 minutes like: 'never make me buy girl drinks again, I looked GAY!' and I straight up just wanted to slip into a coma to escape these people." - TrashSea1485
"My boyfriend is like that. He won't use shampoo if it was advertised for women; it's f*cking shampoo???" - Little_Hobbit
Glorified NPCs
Video Games 90S GIFGiphy"You can tell when a guy thinks of women as glorified NPCs."
"NPCs are the programmed characters in video games who say one or two sentences, and give you things if you complete the right side quest, and very little else. They stand there, waiting for you to come, and have literally no purpose outside of interacting with you for that single moment you're there."
"Many men treat people, especially women, like this."
"They don't really consider or think about the thoughts women have, what they may do when they're alone if it doesn't directly affect them, what their opinions are unless it changes how they act, etc. If it doesn't directly serve their purpose, they don't care."
"The conversations, the depth of what they speak out, just never goes beyond puddle-deep because they don't trust women to form those thoughts, and most of the time men aren't even aware they do this, it's just so deeply socially conditioned for them."
"You can always, always tell after a very short time of meeting a guy either in the workplace or on a date or in any other situation, whether or not he's thinking about the right things to say and put the right tokens in for sex to pop out."
"It becomes extremely stark when you see him behave towards other men as opposed to other women." - No-Bewt
"This is the best explanation of the 'pick up artist' mentality ever."
"They think they have to just pick the right conversation options to complete the quest of getting laid and that they can just watch the walkthrough by someone on YouTube who completed the quest already and copy them." - OktoberSunset
Free Emotional Labor
tom cruise whatever GIFGiphy"Getting really intense about our relationship really early on."
"A lot of guys turn women into this kind of fantasy thing that's supposed to make them whole, help them change, complete them, help them grow or whatever."
"Sir I am the main character in my own life, not just a supporting one in yours."
"When you put that pressure on me right away, I know that I don't actually matter. What matters is that you have access to someone's free emotional labor and you've been taught that women serve you." - xojoma
"Getting that intense at any point in the relationship is bad. Telling someone 'You're the only thing I have.' is manipulative bull."
"You have your life. I have my life."
"We meet somewhere in the middle." - herpaderpadont
"I'm afraid to have a relationship with a girl because I don't want to end up doing exactly this to her" - BokBok95
So, Single Men... as you can see there are LOTS of things that will get you nowhere - but it mostly boils down to respect. Respect yourself, your environment, your body, other humans and the fact that they have lives, etc.
Relax. It's great for your dating life.
Sincerely,
Everyone
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