(Honestly, since Brittany O'Grady is having a moment right now, I'm hoping people will go back and watch. It's got a convoluted plot/dope soundtrack combo, Queen Latifah, multiple murders, some of the strongest hoop earring game ever put on screen and a series ending that made me want to flip tables. It was like Sopranos but with Black & Brown people and the music industry.)
Reddit user rock4lite asked:
"What instantly makes a man unattractive?"
Now listen, I'm not gonna tell you to go grab a notebook or the voice note app on your phone because you're about to get some mind-blowing new knowledge.
You're not.
Most of this boils down to Wheaton's Law.
"Meme Level Advice"
Channel 9 Brush GIF by Married At First Sight AustraliaGiphy"People do not understand how much basic hygiene can make a difference."
"I've been told by incels on this site that 'brushing your teeth, wearing clean clothes that fit, and having good posture is meme level advice and none of that matters.' "
"Well, let me tell you that the folks that actually get in my pants don't think that's meme-level advice. Basics, like clothes that fit and non-stinky breath, can go so far in making anybody way more attractive and approachable!" - LikelyNotABanana
"They consider it meme-level advice because that's what everyone constantly tells them, because they desperately need to do it. If they didn't keep brushing it off dismissively people probably wouldn't say it so often."
"If you ask someone for dating advice and they even mention these things, you absolutely need to do them. I have NEVER heard that said to anyone except to gently suggest they need to wash their ass and not dress like a slob."
"If their argument is 'i dId tHoSe tHiNgS bUt i sTiLl cAnT gEt a dAtE,' they're deliberately ignoring the fact that those things are the bare minimum and that they will still need to put in effort beyond that. Dating advice goes into far more detail elsewhere. No one is even pretending that basic hygiene is a silver bullet to getting laid."
"If someone's dating advice to you starts there, it's because YOU need to start there." - xxpen15mightierxx
Let People Talk
Deep Breath Sigh GIF by MOODMANGiphy"Speaking over me or others, it's not hard to be polite" - n3rd365
"The men of my boyfriend's family all do this constantly."
"I'm not sure it's possible to speak an entire sentence while having dinner with them. It's so discouraging."
"I've always felt very bad for his mother, being the only woman, and never being heard by her own sons/husband." - assortedolives
"I came here to say this. Speaking loud in general is unattractive to me - then when it's OVER someone else, it makes it so much worse." - SunyBunny420
"This is huge for me. I met my current boo because my date brought him along."
"Date kept speaking over his friend and me. The friend was a good listener and great conversationalist. I ditched my date for his friend and we've been together 3+ years." - karmabuchamama
Ex Factor
Season 1 Nbc GIF by The Good PlaceGiphy"When someone seems to only have 'crazy exes' ... you should run away before the sentence is over." - lurkinarick
"Honestly, bashing multiple exes at any time (there should be zero bashing for the first several dates because honestly idk you well enough & will just assume you're a dude who plays victim 24/7)."
"Once I've gotten to know you better it's okay to open up about a bad relationship or two- but frankly you should be able to not get overly emotional about it (like don't resort to name-calling or mean-spiritedness) or else I'm gonna assume you have not dealt with the fallout."
"I never trust a guy who acts like he's a 'crazy magnet.' Dude, you're the common denominator here, not them." - Crankylosaurus
"A guy once said 'you can't polish a turd' about his ex/kid's mom during a pre-date video chat. I was so put off that I cancelled the date almost immediately after." - science_v_romance
Cruel Is Not Cool
Rhony GIFGiphy"Being mean to appear cool." - azcntn
"I know this dude who is like a solid ten in all departments. I constantly joke that he's gonna steal my man, my mom, and the f*cking cats too."
"But the other day he was sharing his rebound stories and kept talking about he was gonna 'break hearts' and 'ruin her.' "
"I was like...bro eeeeew never let a woman hear you say that. You just turned into a sack of potatoes!" - RunanD
Pinnochio
disney classic GIFGiphy"I remember I dated someone who would just lie to make himself sound cool."
"I remember I realized it when his coworker was telling a hilarious story that I thought happened to my boyfriend. I instantly had this pit in my stomach. Biggest turn off." - makopinktaco
"There's nothing worse. Especially when there's a certain crowd or situation that brings it out. Like chill bro it's not a competition." - Coyote__Jones
"Yes. There was man I thought I was the most solid and reliable and hot as f*ck dude I'd ever met…I found out he'd been lying to me for a long time and it didn't take long for me to be turned off by him."
"Now I see his face and where I used to get all bothered (in a good way) I now just am annoyed and the word 'Coward' flashes across my brain."
"he knew lying was the only way I'd even meet him for coffee to date him. Had he been honest at first I'd never had met him for coffee, much less integrate him into my life, have each other's kids become family to one another, etc."
"He could've chosen to be honest after the initial meeting, too. Instead, he chose continually to omit info, and then as we got to know each other he had to lie more and more to keep me in the dark and maintain his original lie, and then he started lying to to cover other things up (things that were different than the initial lie but rooted in the same kind of bad behavior he consistently engages in.)"
"And then when our conversations about our histories and exes got to a point where he clearly needed to be honest and there was no more hiding to be done, he would suddenly go cold shoulder and stop being supportive of me. Eventually he resorted to gaslighting and subtle psychological abuse in order to make me shut up and not ask him questions, and so he could just keep seeing and flirting with his exes behind my back off and on."
"Nope. Never again." - Logical_Director_280
Table Manners
the lion king simba GIFGiphy"I remember a date I had with a guy almost 25 years ago."
"I remember it because we went out to eat at a local pizza restaurant. In the time it took me to eat half a slice, he had vacuumed up the rest of the pie which included loud, open-mouth chewing and belching."
"Chunks of food landed on his shirt. There were snuffling sounds as he shoved food down his maw. I don't remember anything else about that night but his disgusting method of eating. Total deal killer."
"I saw one of our mutual friends last year and she mentioned him. She told me he was heartbroken I never went out with him again and took it really hard at the time."
"I wasn't mean or anything and I never knew he felt so strongly about me. Absolutely no clue."
"But if that was the case, then that means he was probably on his best behavior that night. I can't imagine what worse manners might have come out if I'd seen him again." - DemonaDrache
"Friend of mine went on a date with a bloke in Uni who ordered pulled pork, and ate it like he'd not been fed in months. The moment my friend realized it wasn't going to work was when the guy looked up at him, and he had a smear of BBQ sauce on his forehead like Simba in the Lion King." - TheeAJPowell
Alpha Awfulness
Schitts Creek Ok GIF by CBCGiphy"Anything related to "alpha male" bull."
"If you tell me you're an 'alpha male' I will assume you have no personality, low self-esteem, are rude, abrasive, self-involved, and terrible in bed." - WrongRedditKronk
"I once had a dude I was actually kind of interested in refer to himself as an "apex sexual predator." I was no longer interested." - newyne
"Last week, I finally mustered up the courage to strike up a conversation with my gym crush after months of glances and smiles."
"He shared his Instagram, which was 'alphamale(his name).' Got over the crush so fast, there was some head-rush." - Biaatchandahalf
Glory Days
Seth Meyers Smoking GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy"Talking about how hot they used to be like this coworker of mine does."
" 'I used to bike 10 miles a day, do 200 pushups in one go, and I even used to have that V cut, you know...down there.' "
"I'm just trying to send this email, Doug. Please leave me alone." - After-Collar-4582
"This is hilarious."
" 'So I'm not hot but I used to be which means I stopped putting work into myself and you should find that attractive.' "
"WHAT????" - refrainsfrompartakin
"Oh my god, people bragging about how fit they used to be is so obnoxious. Like cool, I used to have breakfast but I ate it." - rileytrodd
"A guy I went to college with would tell anyone who'd listen that he was a swimmer in high school and kept a close up photo of his abs on his phone."
"I can't tell you the number of times I've said, 'Yeah, you've already shown me that photo. Good for you.' " - Justaregularderp
Break Stuff!
destroy that 70s show GIF by LaffGiphy'Being destructive particularly when other dudes or other people are near by. Breaking things on purpose, hitting things that shouldn't be hit like walls or windows or destroying other people's art/property."
"It doesn't make you cool or strong it makes you a wasteful jerk I won't invite back into my life ever again."
"Mostly this came from stories from friends about their friends, stuff I've seen online and personal experiences with my brother."
"I was the only girl in a group of 5 guys when I was like 8 or 9 and all of them were super destructive when they all got together. Otherwise they were great."
"I had a crush on one of them but he was being destructive (I don't remember what he broke) and I quit liking him."
"Also my ex boyfriend's 'friend' destroyed a lot of his stuff, and he'd let him. Including a painting I made my ex for his 16th birthday."
"I was really proud of it and if he didn't want it he could have sent it back." - LessEnthusiasmPlz
Long story short, just calm down, relax, and be cool.
I believe in y'all!
But there are disagreeable traits that just stick out like a sore thumb when meeting someone for the first time.
People who are cocky and obnoxious are easily some of the most common, detectable turnoffs, but there are more red flags to look out for when pursuing someone.
"What's your biggest turn off?"
Don't be fooled by good looks.
Prospective dates may be dreamy on the outside, but who they are in the inside could indicate they're not dating material.
Feigning Lunacy
"I'm a psycho hehehehe. Better be careful dating me I'm crazy heheheh'"
"I've lived with a schizophrenic parent, it's a very bad ride for the people closest to the person suffering. pretending you're crazy to look edgy is literally the biggest turn off for me."
"Just admit you're a jealous person, don't pull the 'I'm crazy hehe' card."
Bad body odor can be a dating repellent. Occasional bathers, take heed.
Makes Scents
"Lack of hygiene."
– Violette3120
"My old roommate dated a guy for a bit until she found out he showers without soap. He said the chlorine in the city water was enough to clean him..."
– minimumsquirrel
People Share Dark Secrets From Their Profession The Public Doesn't Know | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
That Tracks
"I know an 'influencer' who is dating a lawyer for his money... he sleeps without underwear and only ever wipes once. So... almost every night she wakes up and he's left skidmarks on the bedsheet..."
– Rasengan2012
Place They Call Home
"People who don't have clean houses. I don't mind mess and norm stuff like people smelling occasionally but people who are not clean in the kitchen and bathroom are gross."
These are just bad habits.
Leaving Trash
"Litter bugs. I dated a girl for about 6 months until I found out she would constantly litter. Her excuse was 'Someone will pick it up.'"
"We didn't last much longer after that."
– chzboi
Gossipers
"Not sure if it's the biggest one, but when a person talks about others behind their back. I think we all do it when frustrated, but when someone makes it a part of their daily life, it becomes toxic and frankly undesirable."
– TakahashiCherry
Quick To Judge
"mocking some's hobbies or interests without even having a general understanding of that thing."
– double_i24
When Their Phone Is More Interesting
"When they are staring at their smartphone, especially during a dinner date. It's a good reason to walk out."
– dariocostanzo
Hands down, the biggest turn off for me is a person with halitosis.
Perhaps it is very shallow of me to admit, but all it takes for me to dismiss someone is if they have really bad breath—regardless of their charming personality.
Yes, the prognosis for halitosis is good with proper oral hygiene.
But until it is taken care of, I would be apprehensive about going in for the lip lock with someone who can potentially breathe fire into my lungs with their potent fumes.
There is something about small moments with strangers or brand new acquaintances that give us what feels like a true and complete sense of their character. Even though we've yet to see the rest of the iceberg under the tip we were just exposed to, some stuff just screams entitlement.
So, with full conviction, we decide that--for that person--it's all over with, beginning immediately.
u/jesuschristismywigga asked, "What makes you instantly hate someone?"
SHUT IT
Someone that doesn't let you get a word in the conversation.
Someone who talks over people when they are already speaking. That sh*t will immediately make me despise you
GiphyAaaand You're Done
you ever run into someone you can tell is lying about something in your very first interaction with them?
GiphyHuh, Didn't Plan to Listen to Madonna for 45 Minutes Today
Listing to audio on their phone with the volume up in public spaces.
GiphyI Just Do Not Care
When people talk about their kids like they are geniuses.
"My 1 month old just quoted the whole Romeo & Juliet novel by William Shakespeare, he's so smart my baby boy, growing up too quick".
Afraid of Owning an Opinion
trolls when people are discussing seriously about a political topic or such.
Unless It's This Article ;)
When they pick up their phone and start browsing/texting when someone else other than them is talking.
Only Reasonable Justice is a Take Down
Stopping abruptly in a main thoroughfare, aisle, walkway, then just standing there.
Giphy