"Teachers of reddit, what is the craziest reason you have had to send a student to the office?"
Must Have Been One Epic Backpack...
"I’m a middle school teacher."
"I had a student sneak a gas cooker and his moms pork chops into school in a large backpack."
"He cooked pork chops for his friends at lunchtime, he was sent to the office for unsafe behavior, his mom was PISSED he took her pork chops she was preparing for dinner."- swanathonjon
At Least She Wasn't Faking It...
"I didn't send the student; she was from another room, but this really happened where I taught over 25 years ago."
"A girl was sick and the office phone was handed to her to tell her parents to come and get her."
"At least she was honest...because she puked right onto the phone, and it zapped the entire school's PA system somehow."
"This was using, of course, a land line."
"I can't tell you why the secretary didn't just do the talking for her."
"This was in around 1997, and I'm assuming the phone was even older than that, could've been from the '80s."
"The phone was a push-button model, so probably not older than that."
"You used that phone to access the PA, so I'm guessing the stomach acid fried some wires in there."
"Yuck!!"
"My room was across the hall from the office, and yes, we could definitely smell the vomit."
"Couldn't close the door fast enough."- 1989DiscGolfer
張敬軒 Vomit GIFGiphySo, So, Gross...
"A grade 1 student came up to me on the playground telling me another student was making her sick."
"She pointed to another student about 10 metres away, looked at me, and projectile puked on the blacktop."
"Went to the other student."
"He had found rabbit turds on the ground and stuck them in his mouth and was chasing kids around."
"I then puked."
"I didn't go to the office."
"But rabbit turd kid did."- mollymuppet78
Who Knew Teachers Had To Put Up With So Much Vomit?
"A student repeatedly getting on tables and singing Gucci Gang in the middle of class."
"Every. Day. For. Weeks."
"I have since left the profession."- CorieMcP
How Did He Even Get It?
"Kid was selling drugs."
"13 yrs old."
"Cops were involved."
"Had to go to court."
"Was a massive headache all around."- James_Is_Raging
One At Least Hopes She Cooked It?
"When my sister was a substitute teacher a kid ate the dead class fish."
"It was Monday so it might’ve been dead all weekend."- natsugrayerza
Adam Devine Bad Ideas GIF by The Roku ChannelGiphyOne Way Of Handling It...
"A new male student, year 4, gets mistaken by his classmates for being female (he had long shiny hair)."
"I’m guessing this wasn’t the first time this has happened, as he immediately jumped to the top of his desk, pulled out his junk, waved them out to everyone, yelling, ‘what the f*ck is this! I’m a boy, I’m a boy!'."- joelwhite313
Oh, The Innocence Of Children...
"A kid handed me a whole string of condoms in front of the class the day before spring break bc I was getting married over spring break."- m0992104
People Need To Think About Their Lies More Carefully
"It was the second day of my first year teaching (5th grade)."
"A student refused to do a writing assignment because she said she forgot how to write in English."
"When I asked what language she knew how to write in, she said, 'I only know Japanese'."
"Listen, it is plausible a student at my school would be proficient in writing in Japanese."
"HOWEVER, I had already seen her files."
"The likelihood that she knew was fluent in Japanese was a bit far-fetched."
"She eventually told me she also speaks Japanese, so I called her out by asking her to say, 'I don't want to come to school today' using her newfound foreign language skills."
"This 11 year old LITERALLY responded with, 'Ching chang chong!'"
"I sent her to the dean's office for refusing to work and man, OH MAN, did it work out perfectly."
"She sat down with the dean who tried to pry more information from this student."
"Only for the dean to explain to the student she herself is half Japanese and attended school in Japan."
"I wish I could have been a fly on the wall when the student heard the dean speaking ACTUAL Japanese to test the students' knowledge of the language."
"The student eventually said she only knew a few Japanese words, which devolved into her admitting the entire story was a lie to get out of doing an assignment."
"On the second day of school."
"And lies like this went on allllllllllll year long."
"So many hilarious, yet equally sad, stories from that year that I still laugh at eight years later."- 8MCM1
Schitts Creek What GIF by CBCGiphyGoing To The Principal's Office Isn't Always A Bad Thing...
"Not a teacher, but my dad was a bus driver, and one day, this kid gets on the bus, sprinting, and nearly knocks himself out on the chair."
"When my dad goes over to see what's happened, he realizes the kid had no pants on."
"The mother, who drove off in her car extremely quickly, had literally sent this poor kid to school with no pants on."
"My dad got a student he knew really well to sit next to this kid and comfort him, and also make sure everyone else wasn't a**holes."
"My dad, when he finally got to the school, walked this kid into the office and asked for a spare pair of pants."
"Poor kid."
"That mother was an a**hole."- bananaboy65
6th Grade?!
"We were doing sketch comedy in 6th grade a few years back and seeing as it was a nice day we went outside to practice."
"From across the field I see one of my students very clearly and aggressively trying to put his junk on a prone classmate."
"When I asked him, he said it was for his sketch and he was playing a character named 'the iron teabag'."
"The best was the follow up text from my boss saying 'I had to Google what teabagging was before I met with the kid'."- Beirsed1985
Misguided Chivalry
"Kid shows up to class 10-15 minutes late to a 40-minute period."
"7th grade."
"Shawn: 'Sorry Ms. G I was in a bad mood and I didn’t want to bring it to class'.”
"Me: 'Hi Shawn, I will still have to count you tardy. You’re extremely late and I need to know where you are for safety reasons. In the future there’s a counselor request form on my GoogleClassroom page you can fill out'.”
"Shawn: 'Okay thanks'."
"Things went normally for about 10 minutes, until another student shot a rubber band."
"It didn’t hit anyone but Shawn decided to take justice into his own hands."
"In the middle of me giving instruction he gets up, walks slowly across the room (I assumed for a tissue) and smacks the other student across the face."- Pretend_Dog_2253
In truth, being sent to the principal's office is fairly easily avoided.
So much so, that in some of these cases, one almost wants to give them props for creativity.
Don't be Dirty!
GiphyWhen i was a kid (grade 1) we got to wear our halloween costumes to school(i went as a doctor), and my mom told me to not get my costume dirty. Well we had painting time and of course i ended up with paint on the outfit. Hearing my moms words in my head i thought i was going to be in so much trouble, so my best idea was to hide in the cupboards until pick up time. I was so upset i had to show my mom my ruined outfit and cried when she picked me up. She ended up not being mad and we turned the splotches red with paint to make it a more 'realistic ' doctors outfit and all was saved. carrotcart
Idiot.
I was arrested as a teenager for graffiti and malicious damage. My mum had to leave work to come get me out of lock up. That car trip home was horrifying especially because i knew when i got home my old man was going to absolutely tear me a new one for being a damn idiot. goreway
"I'VE SWALLOWED MY CHEWIE!"
More of a 'dead IF I get home' story: My mum always used to say "Don't swallow chewing gum. It will wrap around your heart, and you will die". I can't remember how old I was. I'll say 7 or 8. One day, while out riding my bike, it happened. I accidentally swallowed my chewing gum. I abandoned the bike where I'd stopped it (maybe 100 yards or so from my house.
What use was it to me by then? I was terminal), and screamed "I'VE SWALLOWED MY CHEWIE!" ("chewie" being slang for chewing gum, where I lived). Fearing for what little precious life I might have left in me, I ran home, in floods of hysterical tears. I was hoping to I'd at least have enough time to explain to my mum that I was about to die, and why, rather than have a stranger find me in the street with no explanation, and cause my family to panic.
I didn't die. matildamint
Be Juvie....
Im pretty old, so this happened a while back, when i was in Jr. High. An occurrance in school.
Just want you to know that i am the living, breathing actual reason why cherry bombs became illegal in Texas.
BTW; Juvie is not that bad if you are admitted as a folk hero. Bebe_Bleau
Sad Truth.
GiphyEvery waking minute for the first 25 years of my life.
My mom is a violent sociopath. toidi_diputs
I was SO clever!
Growing up, I had a friend who lived a few doors down from me. 15, I was pretty rebellious and was seeing a guy my family forbade me from seeing (hindsight, they were right for good reasons).
One day, I had the genius idea to tell my parents I was going to my neighborhood friend's house, when really I was walking .5 miles to visit said boy. I was SO clever!
The grand plan came to a halt an hour later when my friend came over to my house asking if I wanted to hangout. Probably should have told the friend I was using her as an alibi... My parents called my phone, and didn't say anything except "come home now", and I just KNEW they knew. I've never had the anxiety like I did walking home that day. thepaige
Hail Mary.
Was hanging out with some girls when I was 14, one of them was mad I wasn't drinking their beer so she poured it all down my shirt.
I was mortified that my mom would smell it on me, so I washed it in ocean water then hosed it down with "Off" bug spray.
And my Hail Mary worked! Got away with it, LOL. eljefino
Oh I was so damn wrong.
When I was in 7th grade I was dealing with a lot of depression over the year which made me not want to focus in class a lot so I fail 2 of my classes which meant I would have to go to summer school. I was handed a paper stating I had to attend summer school if I want to move on to 8th grade. Obviously me being the scare nervous child I just kept quite about it and hid the paper in my bag. I got home I hop on the Xbox hoping that my parents would just come home make dinner and I could tell them tomorrow when I calmed down.
Oh I was so damn wrong.
My mom practically kick down the door and yelled for my name, she came upstairs saw that I was on the Xbox and she was furious about that and she straight up yelled at me for a good hour. I swear my mom is gonna kill me in my sleep on day and I wouldn't be surprised. msunfair
4th grade troubles....
When I was in 4th grade, this guy used to kick me in my shin every single day. One day I snapped. I borrowed my friend's perfume, sprayed it in the kid's eyes, punched him a few times, then walked off the school bus like a G. I went to daycare directly after school, and the bus driver ended up parking there so that she could rinse the kid's eyes with water. The director of the daycare center called my mom and I just knew I'd get into so much trouble.
Once I told my parents the whole story, they weren't mad. I also didn't get in trouble at school because I had a good reputation. I had a good relationship with my principal and all of my teachers, so they knew that I had been pushed to that point. I have no regrets. TheLocaChica05
Sparks....
GiphyI set my school on fire.
I was with some friends who had a lighter after school. There was a large amount of white fluffy balls that i think come from some sort of tree during spring. They began talking about how you can burn a dandelion and it'll have a cool effect. Naturally my eyes went to the field which they noticed. We gathered up a small handful and lit it on the cement not the field.
We weren't completely stupid but the wind carried the burning embers to the field next to us and suddenly the sky went black from smoke. We ran like idiots and where caught a couple blocks away.
Got ticketed and a court date. I walked home that day. Not out of having a lack of funds for the bus but wanting to buy some time. Anon761
Moms not Happy....
GiphyIn 5th grade we were on the computer during some free time before school ended (1998, so being on the computer was a big deal). My friend happened upon an unblocked porn site, and we dared him to set one of the pictures as the computer background. He resisted, resisted, and with the peer pressure of 4 boys aged 10-11 years old, he quickly did it as the bell rang. We thought it was hilarious.... our moms did not. Wu-TangJedi
Escape Artist.
I was 7 years old and I was sent to my room for some reason. We lived in a one-story house so it occurred to me that I could open the window, push the screen out, and go to my friend's house accords the street. It felt good to escape for a moment but I knew I was in for it when I went back home. And I was. buzzmebrotendo
It was a dark day.
I skipped school to hang out with my boyfriend. He convinced me that I sounded just like my mom on the phone so I should call into school and pose as my mom saying I was sick. So I did. The office lady took the info and I thought that's that.
10 minutes later I get a call at my boyfriend's house from my mom. Office lady knew something was off and called my mom at work. Mom knew where I'd be and called my step-dad to go get me. He was already down the block by the time she called me at his house. I still remember the icy chill of her voice when I got on the phone. It was a dark day. bnbdp
We knew we were damn dead.
Well it was my friend's birthday and we all were at his house. Our friend who was 17 (we were fish, he was a junior) picked all 5 of us up at midnight and we drove around. We ended up in my friends neighborhood around 2:30am and the speed limit was like 35 and our driver decides 85 is close enough to the limit. We see lights and all crapped ourselves. The cop interrogated our driver and questioned why we were out past curfew.
Anyway we got a warning and we all unpoop ourselves. The cop is walking to his car to leave when one of our friends recognized the cop as his neighbor and yelled "Officer ___ it's me your neighbor." We all just looked at him. He claims to this day he was the one to get us out of being put into juvie. Anyway we get home to the lights on in the kitchen and the bedrooms. We knew we were damn dead. Reddit
Angry Dad.
GiphyWe were fish on a school trip. Dad had told me not to swim into the blue because I have one pec which is smaller than the other. I was determined to prove him wrong. Ended up being abducted and in a fish tank in a dentist's office in Sydney.
My dad eventually came to pick me up with this weird girl he met underway. He was glad to see me, I though he would've killed me. GeneralBamisoep
360 Issues.
I skipped school and my mom texted me in all caps
"YOU SKIPPED SCHOOL??"
Turns out I forgot I had life 360 on my phone. BillOnMyPoopButt69
"Hey I'm up stairs"
I received a detention for doing something bad in 3rd grade. As I was walking home from school I noticed my dad's car in the driveway when he normally wouldn't be home for another 2-3 hours. I just knew, I knew why he was home early. Walked in the front door and I instantly hear "Hey I'm up stairs". Never got a detention again after that. SeriesLive
The Koolaid Man.
Well i was already home and it was thanksgiving morning. Mom worked nights and was on her way home. Me and my brother fought often and this day we started fighting in our narrow hallway. He grabs me to i guess put me in a headlock or something and i lower my body and stick my butt out and he proceeds to push me against the wall and my entire butt goes through it like the koolaid man.
Well a few minutes later my mother pulls up and i decided to take it on the chin and tell her what happened before she saw it for herself Huskimbo9
(Progress reports are the bane of society)
It was eighth grade and I had gotten a D on my progress report (progress reports are the bane of society) and your parents had to sign them for the school. I sat in the grocery store parking lot while my dad screamed at me for getting a D. Swear to god I felt like I was tilting on an axis. He went into the store and it was dead quiet. I cried the whole way back. I knew he was going to tell all his friends about it too.
It was absolutely the worst, and I'm not a bad kid. To this day my parents getting progress reports or report cards terrifies me even if i get something like a 79 in fear of the screaming.
Edit: wow I know everyone never expects it but I REALLY didn't expect this to be seen by so many people and have them relate as well. It makes me sad that this is a universal thing but at least we can band together. Sharknado92
"Where the hell were you that day?"
GiphyMy parents didn't let me date. As a girl-obsessed high school kid, one day I decided to ditch my $3,000 SAT course that my parents paid for and hang out with this girl I was crushing on. I lied to my parents that I was going to do some after-class group study with some people in my class afterwards so I could earn a few more hours to be with this girl. Everything went fine that day. My parents didn't doubt me a bit.
The trouble came a week later. I forgot to hide any "evidence" that I wasn't in class off my desk (used movie tickets, receipts from Panda Express, etc.), and while I was in school, my mom discovered those things in my room. When I came home, my mom's mood suddenly changed, and she scarily asked me, "Where the hell were you that day?" and handed me all the "evidences" and lashed out on me for three hours for wasting my precious time on girls while I should be focusing on schoolwork. My parents and I didn't talk to each other for two weeks after they discovered that I lied.
It was one of the sweatiest moments of my life. TuxedoCatSupremacist
Mamma Mia...
GiphyWrote: Forget it, we're going to Wisconsin. My mother's gonna give me Hell but that's life.
Meant to send it to my friend.
Sent it to my mom instead. Alex_Sylvian
hey boss lady....
I sent my wife a text about how damn annoying my boss was being, only to find out I had sent it to my boss.
I sprinted to my boss who, thankfully, hadn't checked her phone yet. I just explained that I had accidentally sent her an "inappropriate text that was meant for my wife" and asked if I could delete it off her phone.
She and I have had a pretty amiable relationship so she felt comfortable handing me her phone, without checking, so that I could delete the text and hand it right back. spwf
I'm Off.
I once sent "Yup, got the day off, boss thinks I'm sick" to my boss instead of my buddy. It was when I was working at Domino's when I was a teen, I just got a warning at work but it never amounted to anything. sixesand7
Whose Body?
I was at dinner with my parents and saw that my sister's husband texted in our family chat. It was something like "In 30 mins I'm doing your sexy body hard". I almost choked, and kinda wanted to see the world burn.. but told my parents to give me their phones because someone made a mistake spoiling secret santa. They were very thankful and very awkward. Maciejk8
Socks off....
GiphyI once decided to be spontaneous and sent my wife s text saying: "I think it would be a good idea if I did your socks off tonight." Too bad the most recent text from my wife happened to be a group text including my mother, her mother, and her grandmother.
My mother is the hero of this story, though, because 5 minutes later she replied to the group, "Okay. Well, let us know if anything changes." Dad2us
Broken...
Got broken up with by a girlfriend. Our mutual friend was having a birthday party at my house that following weekend, so of course the ex is going to be there. I got crap faced and typed up a huge text to my buddy about how I was going to get her back when she came to the party. Sent it to her by mistake. She did not attend the party, or respond to the text. worthlesstangent
People Break Down The Strangest Rules Their Parents Enforced Growing Up | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Oh Andrew....
One of the help desk team that worked for me was sending sexy texts to his wife Andrea, when he sent a very graphic, descriptive text explaining exactly what he was going to do to her when he got home. Unfortunately, he sent it to Andrew, one of our biggest clients - Andrew's name was next to Andrea's in this guy's contacts on his phone. He came rushing in to my office the second he'd sent it and I had to ring Andrew to limit the damage. Andrew was fine about it, he said he thought my guy seemed 'really friendly'!
No-one got sacked, but there was much pee-taking. veedweeb
????
I once sent about 50 middle finger emojis to my mom, thinking I was sending it to my brother.
She was very confused. Teej42
The Bulge....
My girlfriend at the time and I were really into sending "pics" to each other through Snapchat. I wore boxers which drove her bonkers. I sent a snap of it to her with a dirty comment. Only to find out as soon as I sent it to her MY FAT THUMBS PRESSED MY COWORKERS SNAP AS WELL.
I immediately called him like two hours before he normally wakes up to left him know not to open that snap. He didn't know what to do so he just unfriended me. Later that night at work he gave me his phone so I could play the snap for my eyes only. th3_warth0g
No Potatoes....
GiphyWhen I was 17 sent "make sure you bring some potatoes retard" meant for a friend coming over to help cook then eat dinner, accidentally sent to a girl I was planning a date for the weekend with. We did not go on the date. theBurgundyBoi
Redditor Tee_01 wanted to hear from educators about the times they had to call home by wondering:
"Teachers of Reddit, what is the most embarrassing reason you called a child's parents for?"
Can I Get a Witness?
"Last year, I had a 7th grader who went to the bathroom every day for about 10-15 minutes. I talked to her other teachers, she also went for 10 minutes in their classes every day. She was also late every day. Often by 10-15 min. She always claimed she had IBS/Chrons."
"It came to a head when one day she claimed 'my stomach hurts and I'm about to crap myself. I just have to take a poop.' In front of the whole class. So I called her parents, the school nurse, and the school psych for a meeting. The girl had no medical issues. She just liked to cut class and get attention."
"Near the end of the year, that same 12 year old girl asked me, 'Mr. IAmTheDamnDoctor, are you single? because my sister be tryin' to talk to that right now.'" I had to call another conference and basically ban her and all her friends from ever being in my room without at least a dozen other students/adults as witnesses. That was not a fun class."
IAmTheDamnDoctor
Got Receipts?
"One of the first graders was so constipated he was screaming and crying uncontrollably, pacing with his pants around his ankles in the bathroom. It started almost immediately after drop off, so we called the mother maybe 15 minutes after she left. She did not pick up or return any calls until 5 hours later, because she was 'lol, shopping.'"
generichumancontent
GiphyHands Off....
"Maybe more shocking than embarrassing. Parents of a third grader had to be called, because their son tried to strangle another kid on the schoolyard in the break after a fight."
JohannaArtzJohannaArtz
"My dad used to get bullied a lot as a kid and he always told me that if i get bullied i have to fight back hard cause that isn't gonna stop any other way. Luckily i live in a country where fighting back is actually an option and you wont get punished or expelled for it like in the US."
Crap!
"My very first year, of course... and they called ME. I had a sophomore who was basically trouble from the start. In my class he was making a presentation, and he decided to say 'crap' several times (not after making mistakes--it was intentional). So, I docked him for the word usage, and he blew up--I told him it was the same as if he'd used it in a written essay. So....."
"The next day, I get a phone call from his mother--and I knew something was wrong, because everyone in the office was looking at me, and grinning. I introduced myself, and she asked why her son's grade had been docked. After I explained why, she responded, in a pleasant, 'concerned mom' voice: 'Well, I don't think 'crap' is that bad a word... it wasn't like he said 'the F words' or...' and she went on and on offering choice examples and combinations, as the blood drained from my face."
"When the phone call was over, EVERYONE in the office started laughing--seems she was the local 'insane mom.' and these phone calls were common with her."
gremashlo
LOLOLOL....
"Not a teacher but someone was caught watching pornography on his school computer and his parents had to come pick him up. After he came back he told us what happened and what his parents did as a punishment and he told us that they just laughed at him because nothing is more embarrassing than that."
Boi420-69x
SPLOOSH!
"My teacher had to call and apologize to my mom after she told me she wouldn't let me go to the nurse because I was always asking. So I threw up on her desk in front of the whole class."
melli72
GiphyThe 3rd....
"My parents were called when I was in 8th grade because I would only talk in 3rd person. It went on for like, 5 weeks."
AntarcticanJam
"Terry loves talking about terry in the third person!"
flamaniax
The Best 'Actually, You're Speaking To The Boss' Experience | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Use Words Carefully.
"My wife was about 30 seconds away from calling not just the kids parents, but also child welfare because she thought a kid wanted to be the 'park w***e' when they grew up. Turns out they wanted to do Parkour."
billbapapa
"Reminds me of when I was a kid. Someone called someone a "lady of the night" in class and I thought that sounded SO cool- like an assassin or a spy or a superhero!! So I very excitedly said I wanted to be a lady of the night!! Could nooot understand why all the other kids were laughing at me."
warpstrikes
Oh Stewie...
"I had to explain to a parent that although family guy is a cartoon, it was not appropriate for an 11 year old. He was quoting the pervy old character to other kids in his art lesson and creeping them out."
lalatconpenny
Giphy"I had to tell my mom that family guy is not appropriate for my then 9 and 11 year old daughters to watch when they're at her house. She didn't realize what it was and assumed it was fine because it's a cartoon. I only found out about it because my 9 year old quoted something from it one day. They'd been watching it for months at that point. 🤦♀️"
Talyra_SC
A puddle....
"A kid, 5th grader, peed himself in class and left a puddle under his chair. he was was to into the movie we were watching and he didn't want to ask to use the restroom."
rohttn13
"Went to elementary school with a kid who peed under his desk at least once a year. He also would stuff all his snotty/bloody tissues into his desk and refuse to take them out. When the teachers would eventually put on gloves and do it for him he had to be restrained, and would scream and cry for the rest of the day."
JudgeGusBus
No Change.
"Obligatory not a teacher, but I once had my preschool or kindergarten (all I know is I was young) call my parents because I got my head stuck in a hole while playing on the playground structures. I don't recall how they got me out, but I do know that I haven't changed. Not even a week ago, I got stuck on a kiddie ride in a mall and ended up with huge bruises on my legs. My impulses are still difficult to control."
angelofchaos9800
Testies....
"It wasn't embarrassing, it was funny, but in response to the question 'What comes in pairs?' Her son, with total sincerity and enthusiasm said, 'testicles!' I emailed to let them know he was a little upset that I didn't write down his suggestion on the board. His mom said she printed the email and planned to pull it out again on some thanksgiving to read aloud when he was a teenager."
GiphyNo Wang.
"I had to call a single dad to inform him that his six-year-old son perfectly described an explicit porn scene to his friends. This was before internet porn so the kid must have found Daddy's special movies."
good_sandlapper
HE DID NOT DO A GOOD JOB.
"I had to explain to a 6 year old's parents that I wouldn't be wiping his butt for him. They seemed surprised that a 6 year old would have to wipe his own."
"Edit 1: Here's some more context: We had bathrooms attached to the classroom so you didn't have to go very far. When he did this the first time he calls out 'I'm ready!!!' I had an E.A who went and investigated, then came back and very sheepishly explained the situation."
"I told him through the door to just do the best job he could, and to wash his hands a lot. HE DID NOT DO A GOOD JOB. So i ran and found an administrator who took it from there. We had the meeting with his parents that afternoon. The family were recent immigrants from India so i wanted to be sensitive to cultural differences but so far every person from the sub continent gives me the same WTF?! response when i tell them this story."
OneHatOnly
"HECK YEAH!"
"Hi is that Armin's mum? Great. Ummm... could you please teach him not to respond with 'HECK YEAH!' when I hand him a toy? Okay but... look... I didn't say it wasn't funny... I was teaching English at a Vietnamese kindergarten."
Miss_Cegenation
Youth wasted on the Young....
"This happened to a colleague when I worked in elementary school. A kindergartener had asked at the beginning of gym class to go to the bathroom. He intentionally didn't wipe himself. When he came back to the gym, he backed up so that his butt was right in line with another kid's face who was sitting crisscross applesauce on the floor, dropped his pants, and put his crappy butt on that poor kid's face."
"My colleague had to escort them both to the office and call in a district interpreter to call the unfortunate child's parents and tell them that their son might have hepatitis."
SailorVenus23
GiphyThe kid was like 15.
"Actually had a parent call me and apologize. Threw a kid out of class for licking highlighters. Gave him a warning, took the highlighters away, somehow he got another one and did it again. Told him to go to detention. He protested, but eventually went. Got a call that night on my personal phone (I have no idea how mom got my number), the mom profusely apologizing and straight up admitting that her son was being an idiot."
"Then she put him on the phone and made him apologize too. It was really hard not to laugh, because you could tell this kid had been getting reamed out by his parents over the incident and was not interested in talking to me. The kid was like 15. Teaching was a fun time in my life. Not sure if I'll go back but it sure was an adventure."
Petrol_in_my_eyes
Feeling Bad.
"High school Deaf SPED teacher here. My student had contracted a bad stomach virus in his freshman year. He started off the day perfectly fine, had no symptoms and it suddenly hits him. He suddenly asked if he could go to the bathroom and I could see on his face that something was wrong, so I let him go. He came back almost 30 minutes later in tears because he'd lost complete control of his bowels on the way to the bathroom... in front of an entire lunch crowd."
"Thankfully his dad was less than ten minutes away to help with a clean change of clothes, I happen to keep baby wipes in stock and gave him a full pack to clean himself in a teachers bathroom (where I brought him when he'd finally come back so he'd have privacy to clean himself with dad's help). It was awful and I felt so bad for him."
defguysezhuh
Toilet issues.
"Just today I had to phone parents because their child refuses to use the toilet at school and TODAY, during recess, this kid pulled his snow pants down and proceeded to take the fattest poop on the snow covered playground. I'll never forget today."
Grizzmo1
"Ms. Megan, what the heck?"
"I'll never forget when my kids preschool teacher texted me to tell me that he had said a bad word in class. Thankfully, she was more entertained than mad. Apparently, she had put the children's lunchboxes in a different spot than usual. My then 3yo went to grab his lunchbox from his cubby and when it wasn't there he went to his teacher and said 'Ms. Megan, what the heck?'"
purpleghostdance
GiphyIt's Weak
"To me it’s embarrassing because I hate my weaknesses. My mom had just packed up and left for the first time and this was second grade. I was emotional and had cried so my teacher had called my dad and put me in school therapy to help me with my emotions."
OstrichClown
With Cognac
"On the opposite end of that, my parents told me when I was in first grade, my teacher asked for examples of liquids. I raised my hand and answered with Cognac. Probably made my teacher a little curious as to what was going on at home."
samkte
7th Grade Girls
"I wasn’t a teacher, but I was the school nurse for one year. I once had to call a kid’s parents because she stabbed another girl in the hand with a pen. I also had to call the other girl’s parents. In both calls the parents were in disbelief of what happened and I had to reassure them that yes it did in fact happen. The girl who did the stabbing had even tried to suck on the other girl’s wound because she was afraid the girl would get sick as if it was snake venom or something."
"In the end the girl who did the stabbing did not face any consequences she did not even get suspended, everyone was willing to let bygones be bygones. Both girls were in 7th grade and they weren’t even fighting over anything, the one of the girls just decided to stab the other girl in the hand during art class for no reason."
bigcrybabyqqqq
Young girls...
"I had 2 4 year olds telling me they were going to kill me. The one said he would kick me really hard and the other said he will drive over me or cut my throat. I played it cool and told them that they may not say things like that, it's nasty and hurts my feelings. The parents were notified about their kids behavior. They brought me a letter, picture and chocolate each and both of them apologized. Im always happy if parents take these things seriously, not all do."
pashaah
'Corn Hub'
"Ok, I actually decided not to make the call, but I caught a kid on a parody site called 'Corn Hub.' Here's the thing, I teach 6th grade so either the kid knew it was a parody site of Porn Hub or the kid just thought a site devoted to corn was hilarious. If I called the parents, I would basically be saying I know what Porn Hub is (BTW, I had to explain it to my principal – that was embarrassing). So, all in all, I decided to basically let it go. There was no way to make that phone call and win."
estrogyn
Teaching is certainly never boring.
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