We want to believe the world is a good place, and it can be. However, there are still those who seek to deceive us.
They prey on the innocent and naïve and run scams that take advantage of us and our assets.
Some of these scams are as old as time itself, and most people have wised up. They can recognize the tricks and protect themselves. However, every now and then, someone still falls for one of those stupid scams.
Redditors identified some of these scams and are ready to share.
It all started when Redditor MrTenBelow-1 asked:
"what's a scam so stupid yet people keep falling for?"
Gift Card For Bills
"People who fall for phone scammers telling them they can pay an overdue utility bill in Apple gift cards. WTF?"
– AdmiralBofa
"My client got taken for 40k in gift cards and a bit coin machine scam over the course of 2.5 days. The bank held her and begged her not to leave because they thought she was in danger but the scammer told her to tell them she has a right to her money and they gave up. They never called her husband which would have helped. The second Kroger refused to sell her the gift cards and told her they would call the cops and called her credit card company to tell them to close the card. Kroger was the hero in this situation. It helped snap her out of it but most of the money was gone."
"Talk to your older relatives. This is so common."
– pamidawashername
Bail Them Out
"As a teller manager, I have had a few elderly people who actually believe their grandkids are in jail, and need to take out 20k out of their accounts in cash, in order to bail them out."
"Literally tell them they are falling for a scam, and to call their grandkids in front of me. Of course the kid then answers."
"Their hearts are in the right place, but they need to think before they take large amounts like that, but also if they gave the scammers their personal addresses."
– Nouls
"Thank you for looking out for them! My grandma’s attempt to bail me out of jail with target gift cards was foiled by a kind bank teller like you. My grandma doesn’t have a cell phone so she called the police and me from the bank to make sure everything got sorted."
– gingersnap9210
Money, Money, Money
"Any get rich quick subscription program. The actual get rich scheme is launching a subscription program for a get rich scheme."
– Kretuhtuh
"Subscribe to my courses to learn how to get rich quick. I'm only offering this because I don't want to use my tricks to get rich quick and want to share it with you instead."
– eggtart_prince
Love = Money
"Sending ppl on dating apps money"
– marvelwonderwoman
"While I've never been scammed, they've made attempts on me while I was on dating apps. It's easy to spot when they're attempting to scam you, like using some Instagram model's photos on their profile, or they try to get you to move to another app like skype or WhatsApp. But some guys don't think with the head on their shoulders and lose hundreds to probably a guy in Nigeria."
– draiman
The Future Is No Mystery
"Psychic hotlines"
– fonduktoe
"Or, any psychic really. Storytime: in NYC a few years ago, I walked by one of those storefront psychics as the proprietor yelled out to her husband, “But I can’t find my keys!” Not great advertising."
– moltenlavashake
How Romantic
"My coworker who was widowed three years ago met a man online and has been speaking with him for over a year. He says he has an apartment in an upscale neighborhood of the nearby city. They haven't met in person yet because he is building a bridge in Dubai. He was going to come home for Christmas but the flights were very expensive."
"I am 95% sure this is a romance scam."
– elusivemoniker
"He’s building a bridge in Dubai 😂😂😂😂😂"
– Jellyb3anz
Don't Have Wheels
"I'm calling about your cars extended warranty..."
– WhoaSpoders
"Man I was getting those calls before I even owned a car"
– justaguyonreddit02
"Okay, I'm not proud of this, but I nearly got screwed by an extended warranty call."
"I had just bought a used electric car out of state. And even though I've never done this before I bought an extended warranty from the used car dealership because it covered the batteries."
"While I was waiting for delivery I got a letter from what I thought was the warranty company. I was getting a lot of paperwork so it didn't look out of place. It said to give them a call so I could finalize the warranty information."
"I called the number and they asked questions like mileage, trim package, etc. And after all that they said because of a change in their policy I could save $50.00 a month if I made the first payment before close of business Friday."
"The only reason they didn't get my credit card number is because I asked them why I needed to make monthly payments for something I paid in full on my loan. That's when the discussion started sounding fishy (phishy) after a few more attempts to convince me to pay I just hung up on them, and called the dealership."
"What's crazy is that the company is a legitimate extended warranty company. They just have shady business practices."
– could_use_a_snack
Sell, Sell, Buy!
"Pyramid schemes. For the life of me I can’t fathom how people think they’ll get rich selling stupid sh*t like oils or wax"
– AkuraPiety
"A family friend sells one of the kitchen things as an MLM and is always boasting about going on cruises and stuff... Of course she leaves out the part where she has to park on her driveway because her garage is literally floor to ceiling, wall to wall with boxes of unopened merch. She isn't getting rewarded for her sales, she's getting rewarded for her purchases."
"She cooked some kind of dip for us in a microwave to show off a product. It tasted like I imagine a dead cow's milky an*s tastes."
– WillemDafoesHugeCock
Heal The Virus
"“Hello, this is John White. I am calling from Windows Technical Support. We have received notification that there are many errors on your computer, and that it may have a virus.”"
– MasterAinley
"My friends mother kept a guy like this on the phone for 20minutes, did everything he told her and was so greatful the nice Windows man was trying to fix her computer. Then eventually asked him "Oh, was my computer meant to be switched on?""
– anderoogigwhore
Please Hang Up!
"My MIL almost fell for this."
"My wife got a call from her father about something completely unrelated and as they're talking, he says that her mom is on the phone with Microsoft. I overhear this. I've listened to my IT friends talk about how getting MS on the phone is a huge pain in the a*s, so I'm immediately wondering what is going on.""My wife prods a little and finds out that they called her. Immediately, I'm saying over and over again "Tell her to hang up. Hang up HANG UP""
"Her MIL is...well, she's an older Jewish lady who is allergic to silence. FIL is a very typical older Jewish man..."
"FIL tells her "The kids are saying you should hang up, they say it's a scam.""
"MIL says on the phone to the "representative": "My kids are telling me this is a scam, are you trying to scam me?""
"The fake rep says "Of course not, you know me, why would I do that""
"MIL: "He says it's not a scam.""
"FIL: "She says it's not a scam.""
"My wife: It scam."
"Me: HANG UP HANG UP HANG UP"
"FIL to MIL: They're tellin me you should hang up."
"MIL to FIL: Do you know where the checkbook is?""
"Wife: OMG TAKE THE PHONE FROM HER AND HANG IT UP"
"Me: Why is she not HANGING UP?"
"FIL to my wife: I think I might have to call you back, your mother can't find the checkbook"
"Wife, now screaming: SHE IS BEING SCAMMED"
"MIL, to the rep: Hold on, I think I need to talk to my daughter, can I call you back?"
"Rep: Sure, but if we could process payment..."
"FIL: I think you better tell him to call back later"
"MIL: That's what I told him [to the rep] I need to call you back hun"
"Wife: I am begging you dad, take the phone from her"
"Me: [screams]"
"MIL to the rep: No, that's not a good time, we'll be eating dinner"
"Me: I'm driving over there."
"And that's what I did."
"She hadn't given him any payment information thankfully, but she had scheduled a call with him later. I blocked the number and told her not to answer any other unknown numbers. I had to show her several articles proving this is a scam and she STILL said "Well ya nevah know, and I don't want any virus on my computer""
– Daddict
The Truth About Social
"Facebook is going to change its algorithm by you copying and pasting a post"
– mamaj747
"Literally yesterday I saw one of those dumba** "I do not give FB permission to blah, blah, blah...""
"Yes, honey, you already did when you signed up and every time you accepted their new terms of service. Buried in the fine print you entirely gave them permission."
– Cinemaphreak
Thin Out
"Those “lose 15 pounds in 5 days” type diets in supermarket tabloids"
– AssociateGeneral4275
"Dude it works, I lost 20 pounds in 10 days. The diet is called a very aggressive stomach flu. You can’t keep anything down and you sh*t your brains out."
– Omegaprimus
Steer clear of all of these!
Do you have any popular scams to add? Let us know in the comments below.
Life lesson number one... don't believe anything you see in the movies.
Even biopics are riddled with lies. That's why it's called illusion and entertainment.
I love Hollywood for a lot of reasons, but I stopped believing long ago.
Tim Allen isn't Santa. Star Wars isn't real.
And when your car flies off an embankment, crashes into a tree and is on fire?
You're dead. The end.
Don't hold out hope.
It's good to believe in the magic, that's the fun.
But real life... not so much magic.
Redditor brotherbrother99 wanted to break down all the ways Hollywood has bamboozled us, they asked:
"What are things Hollywood has tricked the general population into believing?"
I mean where do I begin? Sadly I don't believe we can finish our life issues after we've died. I hate that.
ER Issues
"Paramedics are constantly running and push the stretcher into the ER at breakneck speed with doctors and nurses running alongside down the hallways."
Downwhen
"Once the patient is stable in their room though everyone in the hospital appears to turn out the lights and clock out for the night."
myhairsreddit
Filthy Truth
"That LA is clean and Hollywood is glamorous (LA is not clean and Hollywood the neighborhood has some of the worst homelessness and after leaving a show on Sunday I nearly walked through piss steaming downhill right off Hollywood boulevard)."
kippers
"LA is gross. When I lived there I remember sitting in a bar one afternoon with my room-mate, and striking up a conversation with a couple of (male) tourists from England who told me they were very disappointed with LA."
"They thought it was going to be like 'Baywatch' (this was the 90's). My room-mate and I were absolutely shocked anyone would think such a thing about a place because of it's depiction on a fictional T.V. show. We laughed about it for years, but it was always tinged with a sadness because of how dumb people actually are."
Librarywoman
Strength Tests
"You can hold all of another person's weight with one arm hanging off a cliff."
WoogzDaBoogz
"And then haul them up! Unless they're wearing a glove, in which case they're dead meat."
Budget-Falcon767
"Me who can barely do 10 pull-ups, and no muscle Ups. Guess I'll die."
Orinslayer
BOOM!!
"You can outrun a giant explosion."
CoolIceCreamCone
"My dad used to be on the state police bomb squad. He said they had one case where a guy in a bomb suit was diffusing a bomb, and accidentally set the bomb off with some static electricity buildup on his hands. The pressure wave quite literally liquified the guy in the bomb suit and they had to scrape what was left of him off of the inside of it."
DoctorWatchamacallit
KO!
"Knocking people out with a blow to the skull or jaw is a harmless way to temporarily incapacitate."
uuuuuuuhburger
Pro Wrestling Sport GIF by ALL ELITE WRESTLINGGiphyAny hit to the head is a bad idea. Brain bleeds are super easy to fall victim to.
On the Inside
"Air conditioning ducts are an easy way to sneak through buildings."
Artysupport7757
"And without a speck of dust."
incredibleinkpen
bart simpson episode 20 GIFGiphyIt's Over
"That CPR brings practically anybody back to life, no matter what happened to them."
defiantnd
"Yes. If someone’s heart stops, unless they are currently in the hospital, the changes of bringing them back with CPR are almost zero. Not zero, so it’s worth a try, but not very good. This is also true with animals, by the way."
Kayakchica
"And people who need CPR are just instantly stable as soon as CPR is over. No broken ribs, no brain damage, no follow-up needed."
9NotMyRealName3
pop the head...
"Sprinkler head pops easily and the water is clean. As a Fire Alarm Tech, the temperature to pop the head isn’t a low one and the water is usually black and smells disgusting."'
mrnicely876
"People also don't understand the difference between a smoke detector, and a fire detector."
"One is triggered by your popcorn burning. You can reset that one, and not cause any issues. The fire detector goes off with high temperatures, and is wired into the entire building alarm system. You can't reset it. We get so many false alarms in my building because people set off the smoke detector, and then try to reset the fire detector, instead. Then, the FD shows up."
Squigglepig52
"I'm in"
"Hackers that furiously tap on the keyboard for 30 seconds...'I'm in!'"
nestor515
"Yeah, if anyone that primarily does code is typing furiously, they are writing messages of some kind."
"I kinda want that to be part of a movie at some point. Like a hacker pretends to be doing movie hacking because the bad people are forcing them but they are actually secretly sending messages to the good team. Detailed descriptions and useful information, etc."
ak_doug
Perfect Family
"If i’m in high school and my mom or dad makes a huge breakfast to cover an entire dining room table, I’m going to be late to school that day cause ain’t no way I’m choosing school over the once in a lifetime breakfast and just grabbing a piece of toast 'gotta go or I'll be late!'”
thatswhat_shesaid1
Season 8 Nbc GIF by The OfficeGiphyGrenade for You!
"You can pull the tab off a hand grenade with your teeth, it’s more like the tab of the grenade pulls your teeth out."
Accio_sanity
"This fallacy actually originated during the Vietnam conflict (I think. Might have been Korea). Soldiers would un-bend the legs of the safety pin to make them easier to pull out. Mostly this was so they could throw the grenade with one hand while continuing to fire with the other.""
"It's incredibly unsafe and has been cited as the cause of tons of accidents, but when you're being shot at THAT much, you tend to be okay with taking your chances since the odds are so bad anyways. Same thing with hanging grenades by the pin. One should NEVER do that, but when it came down to defensive fighting, soldiers would do that so they could arm the grenade simply by pulling it off their vest."
brocktavius
In the Sky
"That helicopters can sneak up out of nowhere."
CaseyBoudreau
"While it's an extreme example, we have RAF Chinooks pass over at least twice a week and you can hear them clearly about 10 minutes before they pass. The last minute before they pass the windows will be rattling audibly. As an aviation fan I enjoy it quite a bit but I've seen plenty of complaints on the village facebook group."
StonkDreamer
Pull the Lever
"Fire alarm pull stations setting off the sprinkler system."
Skuddy587
"I want to add to this. I pulled a fire alarm due to a fire, our receptionist had to get on the speaker to inform everyone that it was not a drill and to exit the building. When fire alarms are pulled in a movie, people either panic or calmly leave. The reality I witnessed included people just staring into it like a camp fire and/or ignoring the very loud alarm."
Wolfrost1919
No Rules!
"That mavericks who play by their own rules have a ridiculous amount of job security."
Doodle_Brush·
"This is my biggest pet peeve when I come across it in the real world. The people who think they are super competent so they don’t have to be nice or play by the rules. I refer to it as Sherlock Holmes Syndrome. Most of the time these folks aren’t half as good as they think they are either."
Schorsi
Tom Cruise Goose GIF by Top GunGiphyFly By...
"That missiles/RPG rounds are slow and easily dodge-able by a human. RPG rounds fly at 300m per second, you are not dodging that."
amra_the_lion
"When one is coming right at you, it looks slower than it actually is, similar to a train. Aaaand then it flies by and you realize it was hauling a**. Source: near-miss with an RPG, where I just looked at it dumbly."
RedGreenWembley
Gotta Eat!
"If I’m in high school and my mom or dad makes a huge breakfast to cover an entire dining room table, I’m going to be late to school that day cause ain’t no way I’m choosing school over the once in a lifetime breakfast and just grabbing a piece of toast 'gotta go or i’ll be late!'”
thatswhat_shesaid1
Flesh Wound
"Bullets can be shrugged off like a flesh wound."
TheChainLink2
"Except when you’re a bad guy, then you die immediately when shot or stabbed. Unless you’re shot in the head or heart it can take several hours to die."
Trinytis
"You have to rip off a strip of your dirty t-shirt and tie it over it and you're all set!"
EurekaSm0ke
ZOOM
"That’s you can enhance photos despite the grain or pixelation. If you enlarge a photo you will not get a crystal clear image."
raisingambiguity
"Zoom and enhance is my least favorite Hollywood trope. What’s worse is I’ve seen several plots on tv shows resolved using that method, showing that in reality that killer or villain would easily have gotten away since enhancing to Hollywood levels isn’t a thing."
brettmbr
Walk of Yuck
"How glamorous the walk of fame is, Hollywood Blvd is dirty and full of cheap shops selling crap and homeless people."
Horace_P_MctittiesIV
Olivia Newton John Star GIF by Movistar+GiphyClassic HS...
"Bullying. While classic high school and middle school movie bullying can be seen in real life, it’s realistically and commonly much less direct. It’s more passive-aggressive. Sometimes they even pretend to be nice but you can tell they’re only speaking to you because their friends find it funny, or it was a dare."
"Rarely will you see a jock push a nerd up against his locker. Students, in my experience, will immediately call them out for that. Bullying is a lot more complex, from what I’ve seen."
RafeReddits
Lies, lies and more lies. Hollywood has left us in a world confusion. I love isn't happily ever after...
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I don't miss roommates—living alone was one of the best moves I've ever made. It wasn't easy but I made it work.
And I had a lot to learn!
When you don't live on your own, you aren't entirely responsible for the upkeep of your place. You share the responsibility of, let's say, cleaning the bathroom or the kitchen.
When you live alone, that's all on you. And it can get away from you very easily. I quickly learned how annoying it was to clean my apartment (and it's a studio!) when I didn't stay on top of basic maintenance.
Nowadays? It's spotless and everything has its place.
People shared their best advice after Redditor thepurplehedgehog asked the online community:
"What are your living alone pro-tips?"
"If you haven't been paying bills..."
"If you haven't been paying bills prior to this because you were living with your parents, you NEED to stay on top of that s**t. Keep track of when your rent/utility bills are due each month, and write it down so you don't forget. Getting behind on payments will bite you in the ass later."
IveyMarkey
So important!
Don't let your bills land in collections—bad credit can ruin your life.
"If you have replacement cost..."
"In an apartment get renters insurance and make sure it covers REPLACEMENT COST not actual cash value."
If you have replacement cost and your three year old TV gets stolen, insurance pays to get you a new TV of like kind and quality. If you have ACV coverage and your three year old TV gets stolen, insurance pays you what a three year old TV would sell for on Craigslist."
ThirtyHelensAgree
Absolutely important.
You'll thank yourself later in the event your apartment suffers damage beyond your control, say due to an act of God, like a flood or a storm of some kind.
"The process of cleaning..."
"Take a couple of minutes each day to clean up a little bit. The process of cleaning becomes a tremendous pain in the a** if you put it off. Particularly if you have'special' guests arriving on short notice and don't want them to think you're a slob."
SolidStranger5
Clean as you go!
Don't let dishes sit in the sink overnight, for example.
Maintaining your space for a few minutes each day is much easier than having to do a deep clean because you let things get out of hand.
"If something doesn't have..."
"Storage space is super important. If something doesn't have its own dedicated storages space it usually ends up being clutter."
DodgeGuyDave
Spot on.
I live in an apartment that doesn't have much storage so I've had to be careful.
"I'm an introvert..."
"Don't isolate. I'm an introvert with social anxiety. When I moved into my first apartment by myself I would go for days without talking to another person. At first I loved it but over time I noticed my social anxiety getting worse and worse. I found myself depressed more often than not."
dont_tempt_me_frodo
Social skills atrophy.
It's important to flex them!
You'll thank yourself later.
"Learn to use..."
"Learn to use the delay function on the washing machine. I put it on in the morning before I leave for work and the spin cycle is just finishing when I get back in. No musty clothes sitting damp for hours."
MajorHotLips
The day I discovered this, it changed my life!
So great.
"Rice cookers..."
"Rice cookers can do a lot more than cook rice and there are many tutorials online."
Aok_al
Believe it or not, you can use a rice cooker to prepare breakfast items like oatmeal and pancakes.
You can cook other grains, like barley!
And you can even make meals, like chili!
"Stock up..."
"Stock up on medicine before you get sick. It would suck going out in public when you're physically weak and you won't spread your sickness."
Blackcore8
So important!
It's good to always have medicine on hand.
You'll thank yourself later.
"Befriend..."
"Befriend at least one neighbor or maintain good relations with the landlord."
AdventurousBroccoli
A good landlord will make your life so much easier.
A bad one can easily take a toll on your mental health.
"One of the most important things..."
"One of the most important things when living alone is making sure you don’t go mentally insane. Pick up some hobbies, go for long walks, get to know the neighborhood."
Burrito_Loyalist
It's so important to keep your mind active.
Hobbies are good for both your mind and your soul.
And you really can't go wrong with a walk!
Now that you have some tips and tricks, you'll be more prepared to live alone. If you've never done it before, then you'll be a few steps ahead. If you are, you'll notice some quality of life improvements right away.
Have some advice of your own to share? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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People can't make you do something you don't want to do.
But it won't stop them from devising ways to get what they want without you even knowing.
Your friends – and even family members – may at one time have manipulated you into doing anything from simple tasks to huge favors.
And chances are, you walked right into their trap, and you wound up making dinner for your housemates when it wasn't your turn. You gotta hand it to them and their pscyhological tricks.
Curious to hear from these masterminds, Redditor rgb145 asked:
"What's a psych trick you love to use?"
These Jedi mind tricks proved to be effective.
Carving Your Path
"Walking towards someone, look where you want to go and they'll move away. But more likely they will move to their right."
Managing Expectations
"Under promising and over delivering at work. I also work at a mental hospital and it works with the people I work with."
Convincing Cook
"I've noticed that people will let me do kind things for them if they think I'm doing it for selfish reasons. 'No, let me cook for you! I need to practice making this dish!'"
Yummy For My Tummy
"I tell my toddler that I really want to eat her dinner myself."
"This is broccoli. It's only for adults and big kids. You are too little."
– 143019
Competitive Edge
"A little trick I learned from the mental game side of tennis..."
"If you ever are in a competition (sport or other) that requires a lot of skill and your opponent is beating the hell out of you, ask them, 'Man! You are playing great today! C'mon! Tell me. How are you doing that?'"
"If your opponent is playing great, they're probably in 'the zone' meaning muscle memory is taking over and they are not thinking about their performance at all. At that time, it's automatic."
"Asking them, 'How are you doing that?' forces them out of the zone by having them actively think about what they are doing and in the process, screwing up their great performance."
"Works like a charm..."
The Mirror Effect
"Can't imagine this hasn't been mentioned (or maybe I just didn't see) but the thing I love most is mirroring people. Whenever someone says something to you, take the last few words and just say them in a questioning tone."
"Example:"
"Person 1: 'oh I was with Emily today.'"
"Person 2' 'you were with Emily?'"
"THIS F'KING THING is like a magic trick. Whenever you do it, people elaborate on what they were talking about more and you can keep doing it over and over again like a broken record and most people still won't notice. There have been times where I teach someone to mirror and they turn around, mirror me and I don't notice. It's so goddamn easy and works like a charm. It makes people think of you as a good listener as you're literally saying what they said back to them and they also get to keep talking about whatever it is they wanna say. You also get to know more about the situation without coming off as creepy or too curious."
– RezaH81
People Explain The Worst Thing That's Ever Happened To Them On Their Birthday
Quiet Tactic
"Sometimes staying silent in a negotiation works in your favor. Silence often feels uncomfortable so the other party will offer up something by filling the quiet space with words."
"I used it once to negotiate something with my boss. I stated my case. He hmm and ummed for a bit to himself. I remained silent and he relented. Had I filled that silence with more words it could've given him time to think of a way to say no."
Hear, Here
"Listening to someone without giving advice or pushing for more information typically nets me more information than being pushy for it."
Wait For It
"I was watching something recently and they were talking like a documentary maker and he said his best method to get people to share more information was to wait to talk after the other person had finished. Just let an awkward silence hold for a minute. Most of the time the person would start taking again and start providing more off the cuff info than the thought out response they have to the initial question."
– I_am_Bob
Just Agree
"If a customer is angry I just agree with them until they calm down."
"'I'm really angry that delivery times are more than a week ' 'oh, thats a long time I would be angry too.'"
Validating The Other Person
"Yup, you can de-escalate a lot of situations if you just acknowledge that the other person's emotions are valid. Won't totally fix everything, but it works way better than telling them to calm down or that there's no reason to get so mad. That's just going to piss them off worse and make them dig their heels in."
Making the other person feel important is usually a good start.
Apparent Intrigue
"Whenever someone is showing you around or demonstrating something to you, open your mouth ever so slightly. Doesn't have to be much, barely a centimeter is enough. It makes you look intrigued and fascinated by whatever it is you're been shown. Bill Clinton is an absolute master at this."
What Happens Next
"When asking a stranger for help, just cut right to the chase with your question/request, then exchange some pleasantries after. What people tend to do usually is 'Hi, how are you doing, I'm so-and-so, hey can I ask you for...'. It makes the introduction seem less genuine, like it was only to ease your way into something you want/need. Switching the order makes you come across more honest, and then shows you're actually interested in getting to know them or talking to them past whatever favor they're doing for you."
The Better Pronoun
"'I' statements rather than 'you' statements. People generally feel on the offensive when you put something on them, especially when there's an issue. For example, 'You did this wrong, can you try it again a different way?' Putting the blame on them, makes them feel like you're accusing them. Consider 'I'm not sure if this is right, can we try this again a different way?' Lacks the assumed accusation and shows that you're in it together, not just criticizing them and then leaving."
"I try to implement it even when it's not a problem statement. Instead of 'let me know if you need help with anything else' I usually say 'let me know if there's anything else I can do to help.' Symbolically takes the burden off of."
Winning Them Over
"Ask people for things they want to do/don't mind doing as if they're favours to you. As if you'll owe them after this."
"I think it has to do with :"
".1. People like feeling useful. People like feeling like they've helped people - not necessarily because they're nice, but because "ability to help" implies some sort of power."
".2. You give them opportunity to be nice. They'll feel more comfortable to converse with you because they did something for you. Like you're "technically indebted to them". Like if you're very shy you might feel like you don't deserve interaction or attention from the person - complex. When you've done them a favour you're kinda equal."
"It's a nice trick to get people to like you."
I learned a trick by observing others.
A friend of mine once asked me to pick something up for her when I went to the store. I was going there anyway, and she put on a frown-y face and asked me to buy her a bag of Doritos.
The thing is, I wouldn't have minded. But when she asked as if she was about to majorly inconvenience me and have me drain my savings, it made me not want to do her this simple favor.
Since then, when I know I might inconvenience someone with a favor, I playfully ask them with a cheery disposition instead of looking like I'm about to deliver grave news.
I end up getting what I want, within reason of course. Every time.
We've all heard how parenting is a full-time job. So it's not surprising to learn that parents have discovered plenty of quirks and methods to make things just a little bit more efficient during that eternal slog.
Sure, taking care of one's kids is an absolutely heartwarming, unparalleled joy at times. But parents are humans too, and they cut corners to make things move along or to generate an outcome they prefer.
Unfortunately, some of those shortcuts can have long-term side effects.
A group of Redditors gathered to share the examples they knew all too well.
Capable-Parsley2368 asked, "What 'parenting trick' can actually f*** up a child?"
Many people described the ways parents, to make their kids behave in a desired way, do things that are a bit emotionally manipulative.
It's a kind of "at all costs" approach that can be damaging.
The Adult in the Room
"Giving kids the Silent Treatment when they're in trouble, honestly teaches them to shut down when things get difficult rather than talk things through."
"I am personally unlearning that behavior to this day because of how often my mom did that."
-- hazey227
Inflicting Fear
"Pretending to ring the police when you've done something bad." -- Scoobyginger25
"Scare tactics. My mom was always telling me horrible stories to scare me not to do things. Like yes I get it, I won't play by the train tracks or the canal but it seemed like everything I wanted to do had a scary story to go with it."
"Even when I was going to college and trying to decide on a career. Oh you don't want to do that because so and so did that and are now homeless, divorced, depressed, etc." -- zeldessa
Dropping a Bomb
"My mom would always tell me right as i was heading out the door for school that i was in trouble and we needed to talk when i got home. She would never give any clue to what it was but would let me know i was in some sh**. I'd spend the entire day wondering what i did wrong and thinking i was a bad kid.
"9 out of 10 times it had to do with my grades, school was a huge struggle for me."
Beware of Bullfrogs
"My dad would take us camping a lot. He didn't want us getting lost in the woods so he would tell us the sound we heard (bullfrogs) was actually a water monster that will drag you underwater or deep in woods to eat you."
"I think most old school parenting was terrifying your kids to keep them out of danger."
Other people discussed the times their parents were blatantly dishonest. These Redditors didn't always notice the truth at the time, but 20/20 hindsight sure clarified some issues.
Just Say No
" 'Next time' promises to make the child not complain, but are never fulfilled. It only leads to trust issues." -- macncheese_z
"They also lose their power quickly when the kid knows there will be no 'next time.' Which makes them fight harder for 'this time,' causing the entire goal of promising 'next time' to go unfulfilled along with the trust issues."
"Which is what I like to call an 'epic gamer move' " -- KalebMW99
The Hot Gossip
"Reading diaries or journals, (text messages, emails). It's a huge violation of trust and will cause kids to bottle emotions up instead of expression through creativity. If you think something is wrong or that they are in a bad situation choose to sit and talk with them in earnest."
Convoluted, Indirect
"Extreme euphemisms that are almost lies to make bad news less harsh." -- kaida_notadude
"Seriously. Just tell the kids whats going on. If you want to soften the blow, take them out somewhere nice to put them at ease, but give them the truth."
"Kids can handle a lot more than we give them credit for, and telling them the truth without blurring it all up with euphemisms helps them process information more clearly." -- CaptainHindsight212
Last, some people realized that their parents had good intentions, but totally missed the mark about implementing them. These parents wanted what they felt was best for the child, but getting there, they did the worst.
In Your Ear Forever
"Putting down your child to 'motivate' them. My parents never gave me positive reinforcement, they'd be quick to jump all over my mistakes and they even told me that I was faking my grades when I got the straight A's they wanted."
"It didn't do anything except sow the seeds of self-doubt that I still have to this day."
Creating Hierarchies
" 'You see that child Timmy? Be more like him.' Made me insecure and feel beneath everyone." -- Madam-Vixen
"My moms logic is that it pushes me to do what the others do as well. What really happened was i felt they would rather have the other one as their child not me" -- mizukata
Doesn't Have to Be a Transaction
"Cleaning your room as a punishment or something to hold over your kid if they want to do something fun."
"This will give your kid the impression cleaning their room is a bad thing. Treat it as something you both can do together, encourage them to do it because they want to. I've decided that I will always help my kid Clean his room solely to achieve the goal of a clean room, that's it."
Hopefully, a thread like this will shine a light on the intuitive, but problematic, approaches to parenting. Maybe you're thinking about kids or have some of your own.
Take it from these folks that even the minor things can add up.
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