"What is the worst thing you've overheard while pretending to be asleep?"
Absolutely Nothing About This Makes Any Sense
"When I was a kid, I used to be scared of monsters or something creeping up on me in my sleep, so I would always ask my dad to check on me before he went to bed."
"It made me feel more comfortable."
"One night, I was still awake when I heard him coming up the stairs, and I wasn’t supposed to be awake and knew I would get in trouble if he saw me, so I pretended to be asleep."
"He came in to my room and just kinda stared at me for a few seconds, then came up close to my bed, lifted the blanket up, farted under it, turned around and left."
"It’s been at least 15 years and I remember that night vividly."
"He vehemently denies it to this day but I know what happened."- YaBoiStego
No Matter When Or Where, It's Never News You Want to Hear
"I heard the news my dad passed away pretending to sleep."
"I was 12 at the time, woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom."
"Headed to the kitchen to get some water after and saw my sister sitting on the couch."
"She asked if I could sleep out in the living room with her and I didn't think anything of it."
"Woke up the next morning and kept my eyes closed, I heard my mom telling my dad's best friend we lost him."
"I won't forget it."- weesstt
"I pretended to sleep through the doctor sitting at my kitchen table telling my dad he had stage 3 cancer."
"I was 9."
"He's totally fine now!"
"But it really sucked at the time."- slightlysarcastic75
Even If You Weren't Actually Asleep, Did He Not Worry About Waking Him Up?
"Freshman college roommate watching porn on his laptop wearing headphones, humping his mattress like there’s no tomorrow."- underpar86
Volume Up What GIF by Lillee JeanGiphyWhere On Earth Were The Parents?!?!
"Sleeping over at a friends house when I was 14, all of us on the floor in living room."
"Couldn’t sleep."
"Two of my friends, guy and girl, directly next to me start doing freaky things to each other."
"I was extremely shy and a couple of years younger than them so I stayed quiet and hoped they’d stop."
"Had to listen to them for an hour while she made weird a** moaning squeaky noises and he was singing (in a weird slightly whispery singy voice) matchbox 20 songs to her while he did whatever he was doing."
"That was last time I slept over at a friends house."- ashananon
Medical Miracle?
"That I was dying with Meningitis but jokes on the doctors I'm still kicking."- FeedBean6
What Happens In Vegas...
"My grandparents won $10,000 at the casino, and they told all of their children, and presumably gave them some of that money, except my dad."
"My dad is a d*ck so I didn’t tell him either."- 3-methylbutylacetate
Make It Rain Loop GIF by Chris TimmonsGiphySome Friends They Are...
"My 'friends' talking about going into my wallet later and stealing my money, and then leave before I notice."
"I kicked them out."- bodymeat_112
Caught In The Act
"My mom and I were sharing a hotel room on a trip and unfortunately only had one bed so we had to share that too."
"As I was trying to fall asleep, I kept hearing the text tone from my mom’s phone going off and her giggling."
"My parents hate each other so I knew it wasn’t my dad she was texting with."
"Curious, I opened my eyes just a little bit to see that she was flirting with other men while on a trip with her family and I was in fact staring at a d*ck pic."
"I couldn’t really go back to sleep after that."- MissMetalSix
Setting Such A Good Example...
"My older brother in the next room when he snuck a girl in."
"They had sex for about a minute and then I could hear him apologizing for about 20."
"May not be the worst ever, but it's definitely the funniest."- Sigurd93
Are They Really "Mates"?
"Probably the funniest was on a camping trip with the boys."
"I have sleep apnea and use a cpap machine."
"I overheard a couple of my mates talking about smoking a joint and hotboxing me through the air intake of my cpap machine."- anonymous_DoDoBeDoDo·
Never A Pleasant Sound
"Probably my dad's dementia screaming."
"Usually nothing is wrong, but he'll wake up at 4 or 5 in the morning to yell at God and grind his teeth."
"You never do get used to it."- PossibleStrength·
Seemed To Work Out For The Best?...
"Not me, but my wife heard her boyfriend having sex with her best friend."
"This was obviously long before we met."- TheDeadGunslinger
Mommie, Dearest...
"My mom and aunt talking, thinking 10-year-old me was asleep."
"Aunt, 'Little Runs_N_Goses is so cute'."
Mom: 'No, he's not very good-looking at all'."- Runs_N_Goses
Even if pretending you're asleep might save you from partaking in something you want to put off for as long as possible, for better or worse, it doesn't save you from hearing everything you are missing.
Which, in certain cases, might mean you have to face the music all over again.
Almost making you wish you were, in fact, asleep and it was all a dream.
TV romance is the stuff of legend. Can we be wrong?
Let's Talk...
Season 3 Episode 21 GIF by FriendsGiphy"They always make awkward situations look like a good way to start a convo, but in reality it just makes you wanna die."
Aromatic-Car-824
Knock Knock
"When the guy knocks on the girl’s bedroom window in the middle of the night."
snazzylittlequetzal
"An ex did this to me after we had broken up (he cheated). I was going through a phase of blasting music in my headphones and staying up til like 5am, and for hours I kept hearing this lil knock now and again, until I was like okay wtf is that and turned off my music and realised it was pebbles being thrown at my window. My ex was there... throwing pebbles at my window... for several hours... it wasn't romantic."
GrossWordVomit
Fireworks
"When you've broken up but then get back together. In movies it seems like fireworks fly, but in reality there are a lot of trust/commitment issues to work through."
theoptionexplicit
"I met up with an ex years ago (about 3 years after we'd broken up) and within 2 hours their voice was like nails on a blackboard and I thought 'now I remember!'"
kij101
Speak Now
"Stopping a wedding to profess how they love/never stopped loving him or her. Then they both run off together."
227743
"I absolutely agree except for in one case... The Graduate. That shot of them on the bus where reality of their actions sink in is brilliant. Their laughter going to smiles and then the smiles fading as they stare straight ahead and don’t face one another."
UniDublin
"I quite like how they handled this on Frasier. Daphne and Niles finally confess their feelings for each other right when she's about to marry someone else, decide to run off together, get into a car, and that's how the season ends. But in the first episode of the next season they're shown to only have made it to the end of the driveway where they decide to turn around and go deal with the situation like adults. Which of course doesn't do much to soften the fallout - Daphne's fiancé even sues her for emotional damages."
48pieces
Following You
wo glenn close GIFGiphy"-Stalking a person until they agree to go on a date with you."
"-Lock two people in a room to confess their feelings, (they did it to me, I ended up escaping through a window)."
Environmental_Hall42
Stalking can be sexy. Right?
Kissed
"Being forcibly kissed to make you shut up."
bobobonon135
"I went to a party with a male friend who I knew liked me. I always made it clear I didn't feel the same about him. Before the party he told me that he thought I would like one of his friends that was going to be there and he was right."
"The friend and I hit it off and I ended up staying the night with him (he lived there). In the morning, the guy went outside, I was standing in a doorway, and my friend was across the room. He walked over to me, grabbed my face and kissed me before I knew what was happening. He asked me if I felt anything and I said no. I was shocked, like dude I just hooked up with your friend, you can't kiss me like we're in a movie or some crap.
J09Lynn
“run away”
"A person dropping their entire life to 'run away' with someone they just met. My sister literally just did this. Took off on a boat for 2 weeks with a man she met 3 weeks before. They found out they are NOTHING alike and it was all just lust not love. Too late now they are stuck together on boat. They quickly realized they CANNOT handle living together and were miserable. It’s not all just roses and rainbows when you run off with 'the love of your life.'"
momogirl200
Bye...
"When a guy shows way too much interest in you after you've made it crystal clear you are not interested."
bootsandmittens11
"The only time I found it flattering when a guy kept asking me was in high school. I only turned him down because his parents were the owners of the grocery store I worked at and I thought it’d be awkward if it ended badly. And I did like him, he was a great guy, but I always said no. When I quit, I finally agreed to go out with him."
Ok-IrrelevantIdol
Bad Idea
couple making out GIFGiphy"Sex in the shower. The amount of times I’ve had patients come into the ER after slipping and falling after having shower sex? Numerous."
signaturefox2013
In Red
"My mind automatically goes to kissing while covered in other peoples blood."
HenmandingoYT
"28 Days Later comes to mind. Dude just killed a man with his bare hands after saving his woman from assault, and they passionately kiss with another man's blood all over them."
ZealousFeet
YIKES
"Most romantic storylines. High drama romances are usually terrible to live through. Imagine being will-they-won't-they for several months or years in real life? Yikes."
"Storytelling, especially in written media, is a great place to experiment with dubious consent. It's interesting, dramatic, plays into some classic tropes. Real life... ehhhh not so great, unless you've got your safety words and are actually consenting."
ladyalot
Too Freaky...
"I see this happen in a lot of shows and movies, but I'm currently watching Outlander. No matter what happens, these people are freaking. Just been in battle? Let's get freaky. Oops, I had to kill my favorite uncle and I'm devastated. Wanna f**k? We just time traveled to a place and time we know nothing about... let's get naked in someone's shed and do the 17th century no-pantaloom shuffle! People f**king through trauma and imminent danger is not a thing."
OfficeChairHero
Learn
Wow Excited GIF by Steve Harvey TVGiphy"Making stalking romantic, I'm a man and it feels weird and wrong pursuing a girl after she makes it clear she wants nothing to do with the guy."
funnywax
No
"Sex scenes where they kiss for like 5 seconds and then the man suddenly shoves his dick inside without any foreplay and they start f**king. That does NOT feel good at all in reality, but in movies the woman is always so into it. Yeah… just… no."
CaptainFriendlies
Pictures
"Bit of an aside, but at least one of the movie couple always has a photo on their work desk of them and their partner doing things like pushing one another on a tire swing, but the angle of the shot is as if the photographer was in the bushes spying. Who is taking all these pictures?? This ended up having nothing to do with OP’s question and will probably get deleted."
theWildBore
Wet
"Shower sex is just annoying. Water only his one of you so the other gets really cold. There isn't really enough room unless you have a big a** shower. Just overall a bad time."
Goobula
"Get the detachable shower heads (the kind with 2 heads) then you can easily position it so everyone is warm and wet!"
flantastic_sam
hands off...
Episode 9 Joey GIF by FriendsGiphy"Sharing a plate of spaghetti."
Halloweenspice
"It’s not romantic it’s a war. I’ll fight tooth and nail for that noodle."
ChopperStrawhat
THAT Movie
"I forget exactly what it was called but it’s a movie w Adam Sandler, like 500 first dates or something. She can’t make memories so every day she’s freaked out that this dude is in her bed, and yeah it’s half comedy half romance but it never say right w me lol."
Dumba**Asian
"If it helps, he makes her update movies so she understands what’s going on ever morning. They end up living on a boat and having kids."
Legitimate_Length263
TV and movies have ruined us all. I'm on a break!!
Let's see what some people had to say.
Extreme
GIF by Steve Harvey TVGiphy"Hitting a neighbor kid with a baseball bat in the head for calling my mom fat. I was 5."
subwaysurfer1116
Unpopular
"I was friends with unpopular kids growing up. To protect my own image, I didn’t defend against their bullying when I was around. They never ever seemed to mind, but my cowardice haunts me to this day."
Nintendope760
"As someone who was bullied pretty mercilessly during my school years, I can tell you they knew exactly why you didn't defend them. They wouldn't have done any different if the tables were turned. The fact that you remained friends and gave them someone to have good interactions with was better than any defense of them you could have made."
Babiesnotbeans
Hate
"Giving a hate letter in middle school to a teacher (who btw looked quite depressed) because my, at the time friend, hated him. I feel so bad about that to this day."
gxlia
"I did the same but made a voodoo doll of her and left her to find it. Makes me feel sick now that I’m an adult and what the consequences of my actions may have done to her."
__Iridocyclitis__
Why?
"Stole and destroyed a neighbors bike then just left it out in the street and denied any knowledge when their parents knocked our door having seen us taking it. Don't know why I did it. After later reflection decided never to do anything like it again and felt like a c**t."
Bucket_head
Sorry
Sorry Home Alone GIF by filmeditorGiphy"Once I tied a kid to a lamppost with a jump rope and just left. I feel bad about that every couple of months."
idrawface
Wow there are some bad kids out there. I mean... woof.
Bless me Father
church pray GIF by Matt MaesonGiphy"At a church I went to, there were stacks of the boxes that you filled with goodies and gave to children in need."
"I did not know what these were, so I opened one and took a bouncy ball out of it. About a year later when it came time to do the boxes again and I learned what they really were, I realized that I had stolen some kid's bouncy ball. I felt guilty every time I saw those boxes from that point on."
Mario_hat_with_eyes
The 60s...
"Back when I was a kid in the 60s, playground safety didn't exist. We had this aluminum slide in the communal playground that was surrounded by concrete. One day, when I was about 8 or 9, I noticed a lot of commotion at the slide. There was a boy, about two or three, who was next to slide but was refusing. There was a line of kids behind him, yelling at him to go but he just wouldn't move."
"I got tired of the yelling so I made all the kids move, climbed up to him, and tried to lift him to either slide him down or carry him down, whatever would work. He refused to let me lift him, and instead, climbed over the side of the slide so that he was hanging by his hands. It was a long drop (at least 6 to 8 feet) down to the concrete below. I tried pulling him up, but he was too heavy."
"I and all the other kids panicked and ran to the other side of the playground, leaving him to his fate. Fortunately, one of the high school boys playing football beside the playground noticed the kid dangling and jumped the playground fence and caught him when the kid finally lost his grip. The high school boy yelled at us for not helping him, and I felt a mix of anger and shame that even today I still think about sometimes."
OutsideEmotion
Oh Poop!
"When I was six (in the early 80’s for clarity) I caused a clog in the toilet from pooping that backed up somehow into the furnace room and sewage came out of the drain in the furnace room, it was a total mess and plumbers galore came and my parents were so upset (not at me just the situation) but it embarrassed me so much and I was so afraid of it happening again, until I was like 12 and old enough to realize I was being dumb about it I snuck outside at night to poop in various bushes around the house."
"Years later as an adult my parents mentioned they thought they had a homeless problem in the neighborhood at one time because they kept finding dried human feces when doing yard work. I guiltily confessed and they laughed their butt off but my Mom said she (only half-jokingly) would have killed me if she’d caught me doing it at the time."
TriscuitCracker
O. M. G!
"You might wanna brace yourself for this one..."
"When I was like 5, I was playing with one of our kittens, maybe a month or two old, unsupervised. I've repressed what I was actually doing with it, but I do remember noticing it was bleeding from the nose and was obviously being too rough. I brought it to my Mum in tears, and I'll never forget the way she yelled 'What the f**k!' in that shaky, cry-scream, voice."
"I dunno what became of it, but I'm pretty sure I accidentally killed it. I don't even have the heart to ask my Mum about it to confirm or deny it, and I still cry about it every time I think about it. I wish I could erase what I did, go back and prevent what happened, but I can't, and I'll forever live with that guilt. It's one of the primary reasons I can't bring myself to believe I'm a good person, no matter how much I've grown in the 17ish years since."
"Because if I can, at my most innocent stage of life, do something like that, can I ever wash that blood from my hands, what will I say to whatever, if anything, greets me after I die? I am so terribly sorry for what I did, and honestly, wouldn't disagree with you calling me inhuman for my actions."
nailsarefingerteeth
Poor Kid
Oh No Facepalm GIF by AminéGiphy"I tricked a kid out of seconds at lunch. He looked so sad when he asked why I would do that. School bully came up and told me I was an a**hole because the kids parents didn't feed him. I think about that a lot and it was almost 40 years ago."
Vorpak
Struggles
"I went to push the shopping cart in the corral and tried pushing it to make it go inside... like making a goal. Instead the shopping cart turned randomly and hit a car. I ran and hid inside the car because I was scared. They came over to the car where my mom apologized and asked me to come out and say sorry but I refused because anxiety. I still struggle with anxiety issues but I can apologize when I make a mistake now that I'm grown."
Raspberry-Additional
Saturday and Sunday mornings...
"When I was 4-9 I spent a lot of Saturday and Sunday mornings as an only child trying to entertain myself while waiting for my dad to wake up. One morning I was terrorizing the cat by chasing him around the house, not giving him any time to breath. He got so scared and tired he hid behind the dryer where he stayed for almost 2 hours. My dad asked where the cat was, and I told him I didn’t know."
"I was a d**k and it wasn’t the first time I did that kind of thing, but for some reason that one made me realize what I was actually doing to that beautiful creature. I thought I was just playing with my brother. I think about it quite often and have never treated an animal that way since. It does haunt me the way I behaved towards that animal that gave nothing but love and affection."
Trails2Tomorrow
Bad Rebellion
"In my first act of teenage attitude/rebellion I mocked my father's suicide attempt from a few months earlier. I was 12 and it felt good to be mean to someone that had hurt me emotionally in such a way. That was the last time we spoke. I didn't realize he was calling to say goodbye. He tried again and succeeded that night."
righthanddan
Whoops...
scared gingerbread man GIFGiphy"Blaming my brother for pooping in the sink when it was me."
Mr_P_scientist
Big Boned
"I used to be a real brat. One of those 'gives completely unsolicited opinions because I’m just so HONEST' type a**holes. I one time in like 4th grade went up to this group of girls, singled one of them out by name, and told her, 'Gina, you’re not fat but you’re chubby.'"
"I in no way did this to be mean. It was just my complete ignorance about how since I had a thought, she needed to hear it. I had no friends. It didn’t dawn on me til years later when I eventually pulled my head out of my a** that I realized what a horrible person I used to be and didn’t know it in the slightest."
HarrisonRyeGraham
“Who told you this?”
"So back in junior high one of my classmates Chris told me that his friend Leon asked him out. Me being young and ignorant didn’t believe this to be true so I confronted Leon and asked him are you gay? Leon replied 'Who told you this?' I told him Chris did. He turned white and I didn’t see him throughout the whole day. I heard ambulances but didn’t think much of it."
"He came back a couple of days later. Told me that the rumor wasn’t true but was noticeably hostile towards me for the rest of the school year. Fast forward 5 years I then found out through mutual friends that he was actually gay and after I confronted him he went to the top of the school building intended to jump. Thank God he didn’t. Still feel bad to this day."
GumShoos
Firestarter
"An older kid in the neighborhood wanted to light a fire, and I didn't tell anyone about it but instead joined him as he did so. Then, when the fire got a lot bigger than I thought, he convinced me to lie to the cops/firemen about what had happened & I did."
"I was in elementary school and he was in middle or high school? I don't remember exactly, but in hindsight there was an element of coercion that I only recognize now, so yeah. Arson, technically. And I shoplifted from my elementary school store. They weren't even things I needed, but like, these. Especially Lucky because it reminded me of my birth stone."
loracarol
No Reason
Parks And Recreation Donna GIFGiphy"I called my sister a 'pregnant sl*t' when I was like 11 for literally no reason. She was just trying to say goodbye before going home. Still can't find a reason for why I said it."
iammisi
Sorry, Dakota...
"For our class Halloween party in 3rd grade, I dressed up as a 'pop star.' The costume’s top was slightly cropped, showing a bit of my stomach. When we were sitting at the carpet, the girl sitting next to me said, 'You’re not supposed to wear anything that shows your stomach.'”
Without even thinking, I shot back, 'Yeah, well you’re not supposed to wear the same clothes two days in a row.' As an adult, I now realize her family was likely extremely poor and wearing the same clothes two days in a row was probably not by choice. Sorry, Dakota."
EllieD0113
We all need therapy. And prayers. And confession. Oh my...
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
