As adults, especially those who work with or have kids of their own, we have a responsibility to mold the young minds that will go on to be the adults of tomorrow. They are our future, and we owe it to them to raise adults that will be respectful and kind community members.
There are plenty of things we were taught as kids that we thought were harmless at the time. But years later those same things have become an issue.
We went to ask Reddit to learn about those issues that we should change for the next generation.
Redditor Ok-Department5749 asked:
"What should we stop teaching young children?"
Let's see how many of these things you heard when you were growing up.
Boys will be boys.
"That if someone is picking on them it means they like them. Gonna set them up for a lot of problems later in life."
"I have a personal beef with this one. The boy who harassed me because he 'just liked me' is now in prison for assault."
"Yep. I had my hair pulled and punched by a boy in third grade. Was told by both teacher and principal that it wasn't a big deal. Boys do that all the time and bedsides he probably just liked me."
"I hate that 'boys will be boys' crap."
"Boys will be boys is for when you and the boys decide to use plywood as a bike ramp, not when someone sexually assaults someone else."
You can't be everyone's friend, and that's okay.
"That everyone is your friend. It's not true. I had to tell my 9 year old niece that sometimes people aren't going to like her and it's just how it is. This broke her heart because there's a boy in her class who doesn't like her and she's been trying to win him over. She's so sweet and I hated having to tell her that."
"I am an ECE who works with school-age kids. My line is 'we aren't all friends here, and that is ok, but we have to treat everybody with respect/kindly'. I see lots of ECE's use the 'friend' terminology ex 'we don't hit our friends' 'your friends are trying to sleep'. I avoid the terminology like the plague."
"I've seen it backfire. I had a 7-year old tell me that it was ok that she hurt another child because the other child wasn't her friend (This was this particular child's first year with us)."
"This is great because it helps kids learn to treat others with respect while also helping them manage their own expectations about immediately being friends with/like by everyone (which obviously isn't the case). It's a gentle introduction to reality that will save them a lot of trouble down the line. I mean, I really wish I had been taught to build confidence in myself rather than my confidence depending on whether or not other people liked/approved of me."
"The 2nd part to that lesson is learning that a relationship is only worth your time if both people like each other."
"More importantly, if both people respect each other."
"That they're more special than other kids. It's a recipe for future entitled adults."
"I think this is important, kids should know they are the most special kids to their parents, however they aren't the most special kids between all the kids in the world."
"I think it's a setup for depressed kids when they don't end up as gifted as they are told they are."
Older doesn't always mean wiser.
"That just because someone's older doesn't mean they are right."
"Maybe we should teach the older generation that just because someone is younger doesn't mean they don't know what they're talking about. That is the problem I've seen."
"My husband's grandma gets mad when she's wrong. She always yells 'Respect your elders!'"
"Umm being wrong is just that. You find a correction and move on. Also, respect isn't just given. If you can't treat others the right way, no matter how many times you scream that stupid phrase at me, I won't respect you."
Kids deserve respect.
"That you can't disrespect adults but they can disrespect you."
"Or that even if you are right and the adult is wrong, the adult is still right."
"Not long ago there was an incident in my city where a teacher got in a fight with a student. There's debate as to who is responsible for instigating, but the fact that the video shows the teacher antagonizing and pulling the kid's hair says plenty to students."
"Friends of mine were on social that night talking about years of terrible experiences with that teacher. He was a bully and a bigot with a record."
"The next day I told all my classes that they could always come to me with a concern about another teacher. A couple classes ended up discussing incidences for the rest of the period."
"Do high schoolers sometimes get self-righteous and dramatic? Absolutely. But I'd rather them speak out when something feels wrong than feel like no one would bother helping."
Foreigners Explain Which Parts Of American Culture Seem Strange | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Consent is important in all contexts.
"That not wanting to hug someone is rude."
"I have four nieces and see this happen to them a lot. The youngest one doesn't always remember me. Her older sisters give me hugs with delight and I always tell the youngest to hug me when she's okay with it. I hate hugging people when I don't want to so I'm not gonna subjugate her to something no one can stand. It's so freaking weird."
"Glad someone said this. Children need to be able to say no to unwanted physical contact."
Stop forcing your kids to eat.
"To finish the food on your plate if you're not still hungry. Note: don't waste food. Save leftovers if you can."
"Was going to say the same thing. Kids are allowed to not like foods the same as adults. We have a 2 bite rule. I don't like avocado, so I don't eat it. My stepdaughter doesn't like green beans so I just don't put them on her plate. I never understood this or the clean plate thing. That can lead to eating disorders later on."
"Also doesn't help with sensory issues."
"My partner just can't handle the texture of 99% of vegetables. So I work around it with veggie noodles and blending vegetables. Since I love to cook, I love the challenge of making something healthy but working around the texture thing (I also have an aversion to some vegetables. Like cauliflower. I can't.)"
"To that end, cooking things in different ways is paramount. Don't just boil some green beans and call it a day. I used to hate collard greens until my mom made 'boozy' greens (I forgot what she put in them for liquor). Other people just boiled them and slapped them on a plate, but what she did was just more harmonious. Complex. Satisfying."
"Once I heard my aunt tell my nieces that they needed to eat everything on their plates, even if they didn't like it, because "someday you're going to start dating and you don't want boys to think you are a picky eater." I had a conversation with my own daughter later about how wrong that statement was."
"My brain audibly broke when I read that. Thank you for telling your daughter how wrong your aunt was."
Zero tolerance policies.
"Those 'zero tolerance policies' where you get detention because someone punched you in the back of the head make any f*cking sense."
"I've never even heard a valid argument for this. It's always, 'You MUST have done something to incite this.' Like no, some people are just a**holes and you shouldn't be punished for their actions."
"The sole point of this is, and has always been, for school administrators to escape responsibility."
"We had a student break the zero tolerance policy. He got jumped in the hallway, threw his hands out to his sides away from the attacker, and screamed that he wasn't fighting back and that he needed help. Once he went to the floor, he balled up and kept yelling. He was a bigger kid than his attacker and could have handled it, but chose to take the hits."
"When he got called to the office and the zero tolerance policy was brought up, he pointed out that he never fought back, screamed that he wouldn't to de-escalate the situation, and that he needed help like students are taught to do when they are being bullied. Having done everything right, it wasn't a fight, it was an assault and if they punished him for being assaulted under their care, his parents would be blasting this everywhere they could."
"He never got punished and the other kid was expelled."
"My solution to this is "no, I will tell you if you're in trouble after I hear what the school has to say." Detention is no big thing if your parents aren't adding on."
"Also zero-tolerance drug policies that punish for simple over-the-counter meds. I know girls that got expelled over Midol. Others for Tylenol."
"I'm 30 and still feel like I'm being judged if I take Motrin at my desk for a sore back."
Kids are smarter than we think.
"Their worries and concerns are small or silly. Stop making them feel dumb or embarrassed for saying or doing something wrong. Most of all, that it's normal for mom or dad to post those moments on their social media page. Just stop."
"There was a famous quote And it goes something along the lines of 'Don't put down whatever they feel the need to share with you whether it be big or small, because to them everything was big.'"
Everyone's got problems.
"'You think you have problems? Just wait until you're grown up and you'll find out what real problems are!'"
"I became an adult with real problems, but nothing that has happened (which includes several abusive relationships, not surprisingly) has been as horrific as being trapped in that sh*tshow of a childhood and not being believed nor having any power to defend myself or escape."
"But even if their problems really are relatively minor, denying or invalidating your kids' experiences is damaging in and of itself. They're not minor problems to them, have some fucking empathy."
No really means no.
"That saying No is rude. I wanna teach my kid it's ok to refuse something or just say 'no' without any reason."
"One of my friends has been working with her kids on 'hear my "no"' recently and I thought it was so cool. If you want a kid to stop bugging you when you say no, you have to make sure they understand they can say no too and that it's not a bad thing."
"At our place we always teach our kid to respect the no. On the flip side, we always respect the kid's no too. It goes both ways."
Boundaries and sharing are both important lessons.
"Stop making them share everything for the sake of sharing. Teach them to set healthy boundaries. Teach them about donations and charity. Teach them sharing in moderation. Teach them why we share. But dammit, stop forcing them to do it all the time because 'that's what kids are supposed to do.'"
"Right. Forcing someone to 'give' you a turn isn't sharing. Some 7/8 year old kid tried to pull this on my then 2 year old at the playground when he (my son) brought a really cool Tonka dump trunk. He tried to take it saying my son had to share. When I intervened, he told me my son had to share and give him a turn. I said, 'First of all, you taking it from him is not sharing. Second No. No he does not "have" to share. This is his truck. If and when he decides he's done playing with it, you may ask him for a turn. If he says yes you may have a turn, that is sharing. Do not try to take his truck again.' He got all angry and scowly and said he was going to tell his mom on me, I told him to go right ahead."
"At our house, unless you are clearly hogging an item just to be a jerk (which rarely happens), both boys (4,7) know that it is someone's turn until they decide they are done. You may ask for a turn, but they don't have to say yes. If you are the person who has the thing and you say no, you are expected to go find the person when you are done and let them know you are done and they can have a turn now. What really warms my heart, even though they say no about half the time, they rarely play more that 3 or 5 minutes before giving the thing to their brother."
"Don't think our house is squabble free, there are definitely still fights, even over turns sharing/turns."
It's out responsibility to care about the young people in our lives and raise them to be respectful members of the community. It starts with us.
Now that we know better, we must do better.
Everyday seems to bring about more somber news and confusion. But just because the outside world seems to be coming to a pause that doesn't mean education has to stop. It fact it is imperative that learning be one of the fundamentals of this experience. Many, many students have been forced to switch to learning from home online. And be educated online can be an "interesting" experience.
Redditor u/lengelmp wanted to hear from all the students out there who are homeschooling it through this crisis by asking....
BEST. LECTURE. EVER.
Not even 2 minutes into first online live stream class, moaning noises start coming over the stream. Thinking its a joke, professor stops and asks whoever it is to stop. Noises keep coming, and suddenly they get really loud. Next thing we know, someones mom starts screaming and yelling at someone in the background, and sounds of crying are heard. Turns out someones brother was watching *ahem* adult films and accidentally hooked up to his speaker instead of his headphones, although still not sure how one can actually make that mistake without knowing it.
Anyway, professor continued on with class trying not to laugh as we got to hear every word the mother told her other son from the other room. Best part was after the mom had finally calmed down and stopped yelling the kid who's mother it was got up and called from his doorway, "Mom, can u keep it down, I'm in the middle of online class room". The mother came into the room 2 minutes later and apologized for the excess noise. BEST. LECTURE. EVER. AcceptableRub1
You can set a virtual background e.g. green screen - Set up me in class with Kim Jong-Un beside me for the whole hour at the desk. Robindinho
Don't know if its funny but my math teacher decided that he wanted coffee, so instead of muting himself he started to boil water. It was the loudest thing I have ever heard through my headphones. It took him another 30 seconds to realize that he didn't mute himself and quickly did. MaxusBork
A student joined in.....
A student joined in, didn't mute his microphone, and started making fun of the teachers name with a family member who was in the room. Didn't realize for a couple seconds before finally muting his microphone. Everybody heard him including the teacher. microbazinga
My professor had allowed his daughter to use his device before starting the video chat. We were silent for a moment until we heard the My Little Pony song playing in full volume. My professor was moved into instant shock and anxiety. DrPorterMk2
Professor uploaded 3 videos on 3 topics. Alas, in the last video, there was no sound as his microphone was off.
Poor guy. He had to record and re-upload the entire last lecture. But kudos to him, he did it within a couple of hours. soubhik_
One of You!
Someone's mum came into my classmates room and told her that she is disappointed and disgusted that she clogged the toilet. PeeLITunder"Which one of you clogged the toilet?
"...WELL, IT WAS DAMN ONE OF YAS!" LotusPrince
My teacher sent the link to his son to get to online classes as a test to see if it worked. The boy (who was in 7th grade) kept the link so when we were in the middle of class he got on and said, " Help, help me, i've been stuck in this computer for 4", years then the screen went black. My teacher explained it to us then we all laughed. boyler2025
One of the lecturers recorded a powerpoint with voiceover unaware that his webcam was also capturing video. He shared the audio, the presentation and a one hour closeup of subtile movements of his crotch to all his students. The powerpoint presentation didn't excite him much. trinityxxiv
Turn it Off!Giphy
Currently enrolled in a electrician trade school. The first class went a little messy. Some of the moments include.
The teacher finding out how to share his screen, then proceeds to draw giant dongs on a white board program.
A loud "can you turn that damn movie off" from one classmate to another, since he had a movie in the background.
A guy thinking he had put his mic on mute, and asked his gf/wife for head (he didn't have a webcam on)
Many, Many technical difficulties (Understandable due to many of the guys in my class being 35-40 range)
A guy drinking a beer, in a tank top, just acting chill about it.
I know many of these are not out of the ordinary, but for a school setting, i couldn't help but laugh. KidVibez
Damn you Mario!Giphy
My professor turned on closed captions and when he finally figured out what it was he was like "what type of communist Nintendo technology is this?" gabriey
This is Me...
Had a seminar this afternoon. I joined the Zoom meeting to see my Oxbridge-educated, world-leading-expert professor lying horizontally in bed.
It's a Master's course and for some reason the image of him giving utterly zero craps just killed me. countrycider
I don't know if it would have been better or worse if he was lying vertically. LoveDaLlamas
On our second online class, one of the kids didn't realize his mic wasn't muted, and proceeded to start talking to his cat (offscreen), who was apparently drinking out of the kid's water glass. It went something like this: "You damn obese cat, you just sit there on your butt and eat all day; you don't even do a damn thing for us."
Before any of us could react, our teacher (a devout environmentalist and the most aggravating teacher I have ever had) started lecturing this kid for being cruel to his pets while we all just watched. Then she actually made this kid apologize to his cat, which took him a long time to do because he was laughing so hard. Lunar_Wolf770
My teachers dog (a small one) run to him during the class. It would've been cute, but it get hilarious when his other dog (Great Dane) run toward him too like it was jealous. It bumped him out of his chair and seemed to be licking him. agenericgirlithink
Someone ripped a massive fart while the teacher was talking and no one knew who did it. sentient_spaghetti
I was attending my class and my roommate who was in the very corner of the camera didn't think he was visible on my camera and proceeded to take a really big hit from his bong when I was talking so my camera was blown up on everybody's screen. duston199o
Cut to Black.
I had an online meeting with my department about online exams and how they're implemented. One of the senior staff members cut off every once in a while for 5 seconds. Once it happened in the middle of a sentence where he was describing the procedure if a student disconnected during an assessed skype meeting. He went "and in case one of the students cuts off..." and his video feed went black and sound cut off. Beautiful. Geronimou
If anyone has used blackboard for online lectures, you'll know you can click a button to "Raise" your hand and a little icon will pop up next to your name. Since discovering this, everyone on my course has taken to "Waving" bye to each other all at the end of a lecture by repeatedly raising and lowering our hands. It's not much but it's hilarious to see a bunch of notifications pop up at the end of a lecture. tidus9000
50 People Deep....
Today was our first online class and I ran really quickly to get my phone from upstairs right... when I left my brother who's 11 ran into the room blasting Minecraft songs and my dog was jumping on him and barking... well I forgot to mute myself so everyone saw and heard what was going on and now my English teacher thinks my family has issues. :) Also, forgot to mention there were like 50 people live on this chat looking at my screen while hearing everything in the background. jasminesoriagonzlez
We were playing a video game on discord while being muted on the call with the class. My friend then decided to lecture me our other teammates how we were bad and what we should do differently, while using a ton of swear words and yelling. Turns out he somehow unmuted himself, so he got kicked out of the call. Fil-IP
We've all done it, it's not a sin... at least I think it's not. We've all cheated on a test at least once in our lives. The only rule to cheating is... "if you're gonna do, do it right!" Cheating can actually be a skill. It requires deftness and precision. If you can't do it... just take the F. Don't become a shame story for the generations that follow.
Redditor u/molnarg1102 wanted teachers and students to let us know the best ways to NOT get caught while trying to pass, though one would think that would already be obvious but.... no. They asked... What's the best/worst attempt at cheating you've seen during a test?
This guy wrote all the solutions/answers at his palm, when the teacher asked him to open his hand he just said: "I cant open it." Screwed me up lol. birdi1e
The teacher came around and asked what he was looking at, then asked him to roll up his pants leg. Kid then accused the teacher of being a flirt. I don't remember exactly what happened after but I think he got a day of detention and an F on the exam. hotpocketlord
A kid hid a sticky note in the top of his mechanical pencil and pulled it out when the teacher wasn't looking, after he was done with the test he ate it. Fiberglass_mayne
We had a french speaking test, where you had to recite a speech we had already written, except no one could be bothered to learn it, so there was this one guy who sat at the front who held his french book up like he was reading it, and on the back he held a printed version of the persons speech. Safe to say it worked because everyone did really well. Sufficient-Violinist
Starting too Young....
When I was in 3rd grade, we had to take a a math test at the end of the day for the stuff we went over. Well right before the test started, the teacher erased all the info on the whiteboard with all the answers on it. During the test, I could see the imprint of the answers still on the board. After my teacher realized I was suspiciously staring that the whiteboard very hard, she cleaned the board and the answers were gone. I didn't do very well on that test. mrcool998
"I gave it to you at the 8am section"
This is also the most impressed I have been with a college professor. Calc 3, multiple session (~80 students each), and on test day you could come in during any session that you wanted to take it. There were also 5 tests in the semester, and you can drop your lowest (ie you can throw your test away before grading).
It was fairly common, unless you were trying not to take the final, so there were occasionally people that did not turn in the test before leaving. I was in the later section, and as the prof was handing out the test. He skipped over the blonde Canadian, and he was like "You missed me". The prof said "I gave it to you at the 8am section" and carried on.
He had tried to go to the earlier section to get the test, learn all the answers/what is on it/have all day, and turn it in with the afternoon section. And this professor recognized who he had given a test to earlier out of 200 students. Then he became know as the blonde Canadian dummy. MTAlphawolf
Basically the whole school knew of this method; I think it was developed over the years and passed on by older siblings/friends. Surely the teachers must've known, but it's hard to catch.
On a multiple choice quiz with A, B, C or D for answers, kids would gently rest or tap fingers on the desk to represent the answer, you know as if they are just pondering. One finger for A, two for B, three for C and four for D. Then was a system to say which question you were asking for, which was to grab, pull, stretch or crack your fingers.
Fist closed or complete open was 0, left thumb to pinky was 1-5, right thumb to pinky was 6-10, but 10 was ignored. You'd do the first digit twice and the second once.
You'd only really ask people around you for odd questions and hope they give you the right answer, but for SATs when we were about 16 this was potentially effective for improved guessing on questions you didn't know. snaynay
I was told about a kid in my niece's nursing program. Kid had a smart watch where he could access data from his phone. Prior to the tests he'd put all of the data he needed where he could scroll through it on his watch.
During the final the Teacher asked for all phones to be turned off or you'll get a failing grade.
Someone was texting the kid during the exam, the watch the started making noises and the teacher realized he has been cheating all semester long.
No idea what happened to the kid. This must have been when the Gen1 Apple Watches & Samsung devices came out. pklam
The guy sitting next to me during an exam had a cold the same day it began. He hid his notes between the folds of his handkerchief just a few layers away from the snot. He held it openly throughout the entire test, confident that the teachers won't dare to touch the snot filled fabric. slockins101
I had a couple of students teach themselves sign language so they could sign "A, B, C or D" to each other. I caught on and made a test with an "E" option and made sure many answers were E. This made them create a new symbol on the fly.
I then started making two versions of the test and making sure they each had the different test from each other. This essentially solved it, but they started signing the questions to each other. I never confronted them because I was too impressed that they were teaching themselves sign language. They both got B's in my class. Ol_Man_Rambles
I had a spelling test in the third grade. We were told to spell the word "focus" and at the time I was using a Focus brand pencil with the brand name along the side of it. Thought I was going to jail for sure. LeluWater
We had to make a math test on our laptop. All other programs needed to be closed and there were 2 teachers surveilling.
My classmate installed some program so his friend could take over his computer without it being obvious. The classmate scribbled on his paper like he was doing the math and his friend looked up the answers and filled them in. When one of the surveilling teachers neared my classmate would move his cursor so his friend would know not to fill in the answer until he moved his cursor again.
My man won the game. He got an A. CopyrightRachel
On the skin...
I have dermotographia. It is a rare skin disease, harmless, but sometimes annoying. Basically that everything i scratch into my skin stays for around 15 minutes before fading. One time we had a substitute teacher so i wrote down some answers for the test. He busted me, but i just denied that it was there. By the time the principle came along it had all disappeared. SlamClam
In middle school a girl who bullied me constantly all but shoved her head in front of my face during a math quiz. When I glanced at her and saw her eyes fixed on my paper she looked at me and went I'M NOT EVEN LOOKING AT YOUR TEST OH MY GOOODDDD!!!!
And proceeded to get highly upset when I covered my paper the rest of the time. maximumovarize
My favorite is still the student who noticed that the syllabus allowed for a "3x5 crib sheet" and didn't mention any units, so she created a 3 foot by five foot poster will all her notes on it. The professor let it stand because she was right, he hadn't specified 3x5 inches. astrakhan42
College professor told us about a kid who came in to his office crying the week of finals and telling him about how his grandparents were killed in a car accident and he wouldn't be able to take the final because the funeral was on the same day. Professor was a nice dude - he consoles this kid and tries to cheer him up and tells him not to worry about the final.
A little later in the day, the professor is feeling bad and decides to try to get in touch with the guys parents to offer his condolences. He calls the parents, who have no clue what he's talking about.
Professor ended up calling the kid back to his office and calling student affairs up right then and there to report him for cheating. I believe the kid made a zero on the final. jonahvsthewhale
5 minutes after the test started...
back in college, in math tests we needed a specific sheet of paper where the math problems were supposed to be solve, so everybody had an empty one that they had to fill up and turn in when they were done,
So pretty much all the students brought the whole exam written down in an extra paper, since the professor gave the same one every semester, and just write all the problems from the cheat paper, of course hidden in a bag or under the table, to the clean one over the table.
so all cool, but this absolute imbecile brought the full cheat paper, swap the clean one with the completed cheat paper, and turned in the test...
5 minutes after the test started...
the teacher lost it, everyone fails the test instantly, pretty sure they stoned that dude afterwards. adrianinked
Can't help.... in latin?
College latin final. A girl I went to high school with sits next to me. She was a year older, a cheerleader, and we were in a club together back then. We knew each other but not well. At that moment, she looked panicked.
She was visibly shaking, pale, and really hung over. She grabbed my arm, leaned in really close, and in a shaky voice asked me to help. Before I could process what was happening, she scooted closer and said she would do anything.
That last word drawn out in a way that I think was supposed to be sexy but in her state came out like a crack hoochie begging for a dollar.
All I could do was shake my head slowly and say "sorry."
Not because I wouldn't give her the answers. I would have done that without her begging or the implied sex (which I wouldn't have done).
I didn't study either and failed myself. Rmanager
In 8th grade I cheated a couple of times.
First was on a state capital test. I literally asked my friend next to me what several state capitals were and he told me. The teacher was right in front of both of us the whole time. Literally standing in front of my desk. We did not whisper. She was a bit clueless...
Second was on the periodic table. We sat at those three person lab tables and I was in the middle. I had a copy of the periodic table on my lap. The two girls on either side of me kept staring at my lap. The teacher noticed the staring and made a joking comment about what could be so distracting about my lap. The girls both turned beet red and stopped looking. Teacher did not think to check any further and I aced the test. chalmun74
Here... just cheat guys...Giphy
I had a teacher once who just didn't give a crap. One day we had an exam where he was the supervisor, and some student asked him something about a question. He didn't know the answer, so he just asked the rest of the class to give the right answer. After that, he just asked us to tell the following couple of answers as well, so that we all could go home earlier, as he had more stuff to do.
Unsurprisingly, he doesn't work there anymore. TJBullz
Teachers are a vital part of childrens' development, both because they teach them facts and because they teach them how to be good people.
Sometimes that education happens in the classroom, and sometimes it comes in the form of sage wisdom or a but if extra help shared one on one.
Reddit user u/Zimthegoblin asked:
When I was about to graduate high school, I got a really competitive scholarship to study language abroad. Once I went to apply for a passport, it became clear that I didn't actually have a birth certificate or a social identification number-- basically had no proof that I was a citizen. My parents had lost one, never filed for the other, and were completely unconcerned about the situation. Zero f**ks given, especially because they didn't want to me study anyway.
My high school biology teacher, who had written several of my recommendations and who had encouraged me to apply for this 'out of my league' program in the first place, took care of it within two weeks. I don't actually know what he filed or who he called or how much he paid. But I was on a plane about a month later and I have only him to thank.
Not traditional teacher but the head instructor of the martial art I currently practice and teach.
I had already joined the gym as a student, with my wife (ex now but she actually was the one that talked me into it). I was enjoying my time there, but not really feeling very fulfilled by it. One of the reasons was that I was, IMO, too old to start (27).
One random day my wife and him were the only ones left at the school and he offered to take us to lunch. Was just casual but conversation turned to how I felt we were too old to ever get to his level of skill.
He asked us when we thought he started training. I guessed 7. He told me 35.
He told me the story of how he always wanted to pursue martial arts. As a teen there was nothing near him. In his 20's he thought he was too old too. There was a studio in his town and he drove by it every day on his way to work wishing he started.
Well, he moved a few times, finally settling in a place he would live for the majority of his life. Lo and behold, he passed another school every day for work. He told me he remembered at age 30 passing the school wishing he had just started a few years earlier when he moved to this town.
He kept that job for years. Then he told me at age 35, on the same route home from work, he passed the school and he remembered wishing he had just stopped in when he was 30. He hit the next stoplight and had a 'lightbulb' moment..
"If I keep this job, 5 years from now, I'm going to be sitting at this light, and wishing I started at 35."
He immediately did a u-turn, and went into the gym and signed up. 18 years later he ran his own school.
It inspired me that it wasn't too late, and I became a teacher myself as a result of that conversation.
A teacher once found that I was writing notes about sex in my notebook and passing it to my friends. Instead of getting me in trouble, she took me aside and found out I was seeing lots of stuff at home that I shouldn't have been. My parents were going through a split and there was a lot of turmoil in my life and no support. Thanks Mrs. Marchetti.
My year 11 home room teacher - Miss Dobra. High school was difficult for me, I lacked drive and direction. My home life was a mess and I had the weight of my parents wasted high school years projected onto me. I was battling anxiety, depression, binge eating and felt completely rudderless. Miss Dobra was always there for me to talk to. She knew I had potential and she didn't shy away from encouraging me to apply myself, but she was always there for me to talk to. She never judged.
Fast forward two years, I finish high school but I don't sit all of my university entrance exams. I'm ashamed but I make a point of going back to the school once a year to see her - despite now also being homeless. She still doesn't judge. Three years later, my life has turned around and I sit my exams and begin university as a mature age student.
She was so happy for me. It took me five years to complete my degree but unfortunately she moved interstate part way through and we lost contact. I wish I had the opportunity to show her my certificate. She'd be proud.
Her love and faith in me has spurred me on in so many endeavours since I finished school. Graduating university was just the tip of the iceberg. I will never forget her. She's the closest thing I have ever had to a guardian angel. Teachers can truly make a difference in a kid's life. ❤️
I asked my music teacher why she wanted to be a high-school music teacher. She said it was the best way to continue to learn and buy new instruments without having to sing nursery rhymes all day (implying that a highschool teacher was a better prospect than a primary school teacher). I said on the offhand that singing nursery rhymes all day would be amazing and she responded- do it then.. be a childrens music teacher.
And so i changed my plans after graduation from nursing to teaching. And love singing nursery rhymes with my students! My previous music teacher now plays in a rock band in festivals all over the world and is such a f---ing badass. Thanks Woody. You were honestly the best teacher and shaped me to be the person I am today.
My primary school principal. Right before my teen years I started acting out due to family/home problems. No matter how many times I acted out, he treated me with absolute kindness, always above and beyond. I can't remember what I did to get sent to his office, but I'll never forget what he told me: "The best man you can be is a gentleman".
He encouraged my love for writing and drawing, helped me submit a story and was there when I won second place. When I failed maths, he tutored me in his office after school. When I showed interest in music, he let me practise on his guitar. I am forever in his debt for making me the person I am.
Struggled with eating disorders in high school. Senior year my dad passed away and I spiraled. Had a meltdown in the middle of my English class. Teacher pulled me out into the hallway, gave me a hug and said “are you eating?” Idk why but it snapped me out of it and that is the first time I realized people noticed or cared. She probably doesn’t know this but I’m sure she saved my life.
He actually believed in me. Most of my teachers before didn't care and didn't form the connection with their students that he did. I came in after a week out with the flu and he gave me an entire packet he made just so I wouldn't fall behind. We talked often of video games.
My kindergarten teacher saw me struggle with spelling the word together. She told me to spell it To-get-her. I'm in my 40s and still spell it like that.
My German teacher made me realise that I was being bullied by a boy. I thought he just didn’t like me. She talked with me and made me realise that the things that he said to me were not okay.
What is crossing the line of education for kids? Are there some thing that are better kept from our kids or should we teach them everything?
There are a few very differing schools of thought on this topic, with one side vehemently believing kids have a right to know everything; another side arguing scaffolding of knowledge; and another side in favor of withholding knowledge altogether.
However, nobody can agree on this. That's what makes the debate so interesting--literally nobody can agree.
Here were some of those answers.
That adults are infallible. My wife and I freely admit to our kid if we've done something wrong or were mistaken, and try to teach him to behave the same. He's only 4 so it's hard because he's still learning even the concept of fallibility, but I'm pretty sure it's helping
Unhealthy relationships with food. Noticing how our relationship with food is covertly communicated to our children. Labeling food as purely "good" or "bad". Forcing children to eat something they don't want to. Sending the message that "vegetables are gross" and are only to be enjoyed through bribery. (Obviously excluding the instances in which children just don't eat.)
Learning You Were Wrong
To be ashamed when they're wrong. People should be thrilled to learned they're wrong because it's an opportunity to learn. Instead we shame politicians who 'flip flop' on issues, even if they switch their opinions from something like man/woman marriage to a stance of gay rights support.
Then we wonder why people straight up deny they're wrong even when you pile a mountain of evidence in front of their dumb faces.
Listening To Our Bodies
They have to keep eating even when they're full. This isn't about picky eaters or whatever, this is about schools forcing kids to eat ALL of their lunch despite not physically being able to. It's not a healthy mindset.
Edit since I see people confused: I've personally had to deal with this policy in different schools in both the USA and in Japan. You've probably never encountered this if your school had a buffet or cafeteria style.
Once Again, Remember You Are Worth It
That they shouldn't ask questions and that adults are always right. I remember growing up and being taught that an adult's words were the truth, and life was so much easier when I discovered that a grown-up was just as capable of being full of it as a child was. Be respectful, but don't blindly accept what's handed to you.
Blood Of The Covenant
"You should never hate anyone in your family."
If a certain family member did you wrong, never repented, never apologized, never tried to make things right, would gladly fuck you over again and has done so on multiple occasion, you should be free to detest him as much as you like.
But no, because we are blood-related, that somehow completely erases what he's done.
That ugly = bad/evil. I partially blame TV animation for this one though. Old, ugly, fat or serious looking people are almost always the villains. This often makes kids fear elderly people and make unfair connections between appearance and personality.
That genitals are rude and we shouldn't speak about them. They are private but they aren't rude. We need to teach children correct names for body parts including genitals.
Also, getting children to be able to verbalize feeling uncomfortable and learning how they feel when they are uncomfortable can be beneficial in stopping grooming in its tracks. Groomers often start with lingering touches that can be easily explained away, but if the child can articulate how the touch made them feel it can help adults to protect children.
Failure As A Teaching Tool
That "losing" is inherently bad and thus failure is unacceptable. Our daughters' age 6-7 tee-ball/coach-pitch softball team refused to let kids get out and also refused to make them use the tee. There were games the coach literally threw balls to the same kid for 15 minutes straight. The coach was scandalized when we insisted our girls take an out after three swings and misses.
Instead, we teach our kids that the BEST baseball players fail 2/3 of the time.
To quote MJ: "I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
Teach NOT To Bully
I don't know how many schools do this, but I know it happened to me in both primary and high school, and multiple other people I've spoken to about this who live in my state have said this as well (NSW, Aus) but there's something called "Resilience Training" where they gather bullied kids and tell us that the way to prevent being bullied is to stop making ourselves a target, telling us that we have to try harder to fit in, and how ignoring a bully will make them give up rather then crying or running away. It doesn't help, it just made me, and probably other kids too, feel like more of an outcast and put it in my head that I got bullied because I deserved it.