Men Who've Gotten A Vasectomy Explain Whether They Regret It And How The Procedure Changed Their Life
With more people exercising their right to live a childfree life, or to at least start their families later than people used to, it's important for people to have access to forms of birth control that work for them.
For some, that means getting a vasectomy, but there are aspects to the procedure that most wish they had known before making the appointment.
Redditor jaqeacc asked:
"To men who have gotten a vasectomy, do you regret it, and how has it changed your life?"
Avoiding the Risk
"I’m 30 with three kids and got a vasectomy earlier this year. My wife almost died in childbirth for the last one. Can’t risk that again. No regrets."
- DesertDelirium
Enough Kids
"No regrets. Had it done after our third child was born. We definitely couldn't cope with a 4th child, and my wife was told sternly that she should not have another."
"It hasn't changed my life. It has helped my wife in that she no longer takes birth control."
"Interesting that some other commenters in this thread have had life-changing situations where they went for reversal. The health worker tried to talk me out of the vasectomy, saying I was very young (I was 35). She kept coming up with these scenarios in which I might want to have more children. I would reply, 'I still have three children.'"
- WitShortage
Pain Management
"I had one at 43 years old and didn’t have any pain at all after the procedure. It was fully covered by insurance as well. I recommend making sure they give you the Xanax 30 minutes prior."
- Specific_Albatross63
Respect the Recovery Time
"You need five to seven days to recover. I just did it. The last thing you want to do is pop the internal sutures and bleed into your sack. Then you have to walk around with grapefruit or cantaloupe-sized balls."
"Don’t rush it. After seven days, you’re good to go. Hit it sooner (especially lifting) at your own risk."
- jbrad194
Preventative Care
"I got mine, no regrets, and my sex life vastly improved. Just make sure you get a sperm count post-OP."
- Cebonite
Prepare the PlayStation
"I just want to add a warning from a friend of mine who had it done."
"He had the operation and went home to recover for a few days, unfortunately, he had not foreseen that he wouldn't be able to set up the new PlayStation he'd bought himself as a 'reward.' He didn't feel up to all the awkward bending and f**king around behind the TV. Instead, he had to sit there on the couch for days wishing he was playing it!"
"So a careful warning to anyone else reading this: plug your self-reward PlayStation in before you have the operation and not after. Learn from his mistake!"
- not_right
Rare Issues
"I had one back in 2014 and have been part of the one percent of people who experience pain every day after. Last year, I got it reversed because I didn’t want to be in pain anymore but that did nothing but cause me more issues."
- Slugs86
Stress Free
"My partner got his vasectomy in January. Neither of us have kids, and both of us turn 30 this year. Of course, no OBGYN would entertain sterilization for me (a female), but he was able to set up the appointment with no problem. I’m just now getting the birth control out of my system and it’s life-changing. We’re ecstatic to be able to enjoy each other and not worry about pregnancy."
- PayMeToRedditMmkay
Moving On
"I've had one some nine years ago when my then-girlfriend and I broke up and I decided that I'm too old now to find somebody to have kids with (which was/is totally okay)."
"My urologist really took the time to explain to me how it all works and to make sure that that's what I want. The procedure only hurt a little bit, even though some dude sticking a long hypodermic needle in your sack is probably a rather acquired taste. The greatest inconvenience was the ban on bathing."
"As for the effect, I would definitely do it again. My long-term (=long enough to get tested and do it without a rubber) partners all appreciated it a lot, and even in connection with other forms of contraception, it gives a certain peace of mind. Besides that, the sex itself hasn't changed at all."
"If you're sure you don't want any more kids, I can totally recommend it."
- Radiant_sir_radiant
Potential Complications
"It has changed my sex life significantly. Posts like these are disheartening, because I remembered scrolling through similar posts and disregarding those who were not so lucky and ended up with PVPS (Post-Vasectomy Pain Syndrome) or other changes in their sex life. So many men say it's the best thing they did and never regretted it: no change in orgasms whatsoever."
"The intensity of my orgasms has changed a lot. It isn't as good as it used to be. It's like stepping on a garden hose where water wants to escape but it can't. I never feel relaxed after an orgasm anymore or fulfilled. There's a feeling of congestion after."
"I am not experiencing any pain, luckily. I do feel my testicles are more sensitive. I already feel the tenderness when I go to the bathroom just to pee. I loved it when my partner held them, but I don't anymore."
"Everyone will say it's psychological; your urologist and the people around you. I have posted a couple of times on Reddit about it, but most people thought I was trolling."
"Maybe it is only psychological, but that doesn't change how I perceive my orgasms."
- ThrowRabedeezled
Motivations for the Procedure
"One of my mates got married at around 20 and had two kids by the time he was 23. Got the snip when the second kid was born. Turns 30, and found out his wife had been sleeping with every guy at the gym, divorced, remarried, but the new wife is only 25 and wants kids of her own. He went in for the reversal, but I haven't heard if it was successful yet."
"Another mate was single, got the snip around 35 to make casual sex less stressful. Got married at 40, decided they wanted kids, got a reversal, but it was unsuccessful (that was about 10 years ago though)."
- Michael_Scott247365
Electrifying Experience
"I guess I'm one of the unlucky few..."
"Had mine done, went in, just like most: Small opening, went in, numbed... This is supposed to be the only part that's uncomfortable... I'm pretty sure he hit the wrong spot somewhere."
"Everything was fine for the one side, and then I felt stuff on the other... Not unbearable, but I will never NOT remember feeling whatever he was doing."
"My doc, however, didn't ground the tool that's supposed to cauterize the area. I got shocked to f**king kingdom come. It was the single most painful experience of my life. I put it above almost dying in a car accident or the time I got shot in the eye with an airsoft rifle."
"Recovery: Over a month."
"Walking made me scream. Sleeping was pretty much impossible and it was absolutely miserable. The doc didn't believe me and finally gave me pain medication on my 3rd+ visit. Which was a constant need so that I didn't get fired."
"Ended up behind on every bill I had."
"I'm fine now."
- D3Dragoon
Childfree Choice
"No regrets. Done it this year with 31 without having children."
"The chance of regretting having a child is too high and I do not want it to feel or even suffer from it. I can live with the regret of not having one."
"As for the question, 'And what if your girlfriend wants children?,' I only date women that do not want one. And even then, when all the planets align and h**l is frozen, there are too many children in children’s homes growing up without parents. Adopt them and give them a home and more importantly a loving family."
- Cruso91
Open Communication
"Got the snip around age 36 after my then wife and I were done having kids. My health insurance covered it 100%, not even a deductible. The pain wasn’t too bad. Felt very much like when you’ve been kicked in the nuts."
"We later divorced. It made post-divorce sex life great. Women were really into the security of not getting pregnant. Let me tell you, life was pretty sweet."
"My girlfriend now has no kids. I was very upfront with her very early on in the relationship about the fact I didn’t want more kids, and didn’t want to hinder her from pursuing having children if it was a desire of hers."
"I basically told her if we needed to end the relationship so that she could find someone else to have kids with, I’d understand. She said she was ok not having kids and we’ve been together ever since."
- wizkee
Dad Jokes
"I was told that after a vasectomy I wouldn't have kids anymore, but when I got home, they were still there..."
- CommentToBeDeleted
While there are certainly risks, and even regrets, involved, most Redditors argued that the ends justified the means when it came to getting a vasectomy.
For most, it removed the stress and pressure of possibilities of pregnancy that some people are not interested in, and it's difficult to put a price on something like that.
Anesthesiologists Share The Craziest Things Patients Have Said Under The Influence Of Medication
Some of these modern medicines can really pack a wallop.
Remember that Taylor Swift video her mom took of her?
That was too good.
Patients teeter between a laugh riot and a hideous, dramatic mess.
Either way, it's pretty entertaining.
Redditor DvS_Insanity wanted to hear about what we all mumble when under the influence before surgery.They asked:
"Anesthesiologists of Reddit, what was something you won’t forget hearing from someone that was under?"
I haven't really been under so deep I expressed these kinds of thoughts. I'm ok with skipping surgery, actually.
Fingered
Kung Fu Wtf GIF by A24Giphy"I ask a patient after surgery how he feels. He opens his eyes, stares me dead-on and says 'with my fingers.' Then he goes right back to sleep."
DrBarbotage
'hand... hand please'
"I had an ovarian cyst removed a year ago and woke up from the anesthesia saying 'hand... hand please.' and making 'grabby hands' with both my hands until the nurses finally came over and held my hands for about five minutes while I just smiled and tried to go back to sleep. I hadn't done that in a decade. I used to do it to my dad all the time as a kid to express that I wanted to hold his hand while I slept."
mercyinreach
'Ooo ithh a robot'
"My boyfriend at the time had just gotten his wisdom teeth removed, on the ride home with his mouth full of gauze, he gets a call on his cell phone. He answered it and just starts talking away, whoever it was on the other side could not possibly understand a word he was saying with all the gauze in his mouth. But man, he had a lot to talk about and they apparently didn't hang up..."
"After about 5 minutes of this unintelligible phone conversation, he looks at me and says 'Ooo ithh a robot' and gives me the phone. I put it to my ear, and the whole time it's been the Walgreens pharmacy automated notice simply stating his prescription is ready for pickup, playing on repeat. Probably for the best."
December_Flame
Slurred...
"I’m an anesthesiologist. The best story was a 40-some year old woman for appendectomy, said while I’m giving the propofol to induce anesthesia. She said 'oh I don’t remember it tasting like that before' (slurred). I said 'what does it taste like?' Since propofol doesn’t usually elicit a taste reaction. She almost yelled 'DEEEZ NUTS,' and was promptly under anesthesia thereafter. There have been other stories, but this one has the entire OR staff rolling laughing for minutes after she was under."
Zefside89
“AHHHH”
Oh My Love GIF by WWEGiphy"After an operation on a patient's neck, he woke up and yelled 'AHHHH' then grabbed his junk with both hands and was like 'oh thank God it’s still there' then immediately passed out again."
tv__doctor
People are funny with no censor. And dialogue dangerous...
Beauty
"My personal story. When I had my wisdom teeth out, I kept holding a fake camera up to my face saying 'you're beautiful' and making clicking noises while I was under. I'm a professional photographer and my dental surgeon ended up booking a session with me a year later."
cassiecas88
Nasty
"I woke up from gallbladder surgery confused as to why my mom wasn’t there (I was 18 and looking for my mom). The nurse informed me I had cussed out my entire family and they sent them home and put me on a no visitor list, only for me to wakeup at 2am with no memory making them call my mom back. Another time I woke up and made horrifically inappropriate jokes."
"I told a nurse she was pissing me off because I didn’t like the automatic blood pressure cuff. Another I refused to listen to followup orders until I had a chicken sandwich (my negotiations were not met). I’m a real treat after anesthesia but I get a lot of this done at the office my mom works at so she can warn them lol."
__hill
'That's my wife for ya'
"My aunt got rushed to the hospital for abnormal heart rate - but it wasn't a heart attack or stroke, but her heart was going at like 200 beats per minute or whatever it was. They had to put her under so they could shock her heart back to normal. As they're taking her under, the doctor says something like 'Okay, in it goes' and she immediately quips with 'That's what she said.' All the doctors and nurses busted a gut laughing and told my uncle when he got there. He just shrugged and said 'That's my wife for ya.'"
StrawberryPeachies
Treasures
"One summer I was home from college and my dad needed me to pick him up after his very first colonoscopy. He was nervous so I got there early. The nurse called me back and asked me to help wake him up, as they were having some trouble. I go back and am making chit chat. 'Oh dad, you’ve got those cool booties on!' He raised his head a little bit to look at them then yelled, 'Booty call!' He is a Presbyterian pastor. A moment I will treasure forever."
mildflower9
Hugs
Kat Graham Netflix GIF by GIF RegistryGiphy"Apparently, when I had surgery to remove my Bartholin’s gland (a gland at the entrance of the vagina that can get an abscess), they asked me how I felt as soon as I was awake. I said I felt like I got attacked by an elephant and then I wanted to hug everyone."
relentlessvisions
Oh, the things we'll say when under the influence.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Healthcare shouldn't be this complicated.
You feel sick? Go to the hospital. Have someone take care of you. Add on the complexities of insurance, the lack of good-faith instilled in doctors on hour 40 of their shift, and suddenly you have a stay that turns into a nightmare you can't escape from.
They only get worse from here.
Reddit user, emeraldthemnstr, wanted to hear your healing horror stories when they asked:
What's the worst hospital experience you've ever had?
A visit to the ER shouldn't be like rolling the dice to decide how you're going to be, but sometimes it's like placing your health in the hands of fate.
Except fate is a jerk.
You Never Know How Your Body Is Going To React
"The day after I graduated from college I began having intense stomach pains that kept me awake for almost three days straight. Went to my doctor and they sent me over the ER to get a CT scan immediately. Found out I had a pretty significant intestinal blockage."
"Anyway my first night in the hospital I was finally able to get kind of comfortable but the nurses were insistent that I take Ambien to sleep. I told them that I hadn't slept in 3 days and that I was going to pass out any minute. Well they kept pushing, and like an idiot, I took the pill. Fast forward to the next morning where I wake up with dried blood all over my arm and I generally hurt all over. It turns out I got really messed up on the Ambien. I stripped naked, ripped out all my IVs, and ran down to the nurse station while babbling nonsense."
"To this day I've never seen my mom as mad as she was when she found out what happened."
Tcraw487
One Diagnosis Is Not Like The Other
"I fell over on a night out, not drunk, and hit my head. Only 6 months before I'd had brain surgery for a tumour."
"Scooped up by an ambulance, dumped in A&E, treated like a drunk student. My friends kept telling them that I wasn't drunk, I'd had surgery etc. but they left me in a corridor and ignored me."
"After 3 or 4 hours on a bed in a corridor with no attention, I decided I was fine and checked myself out. It was ridiculous. I felt a bit woozy but recovered fully the next day."
"They should have taken me a bit more seriously, not treated me like a drunk, just because it happened on a Saturday night."
shinyhappycat
There's nothing worse than telling a doctor what you know for sure in your heart is wrong and they don't listen to you.
Makes You Wonder Who's A Professional And Who Isn't
"I was 16 and I had horrible stomach pains for about a week and just chalked it up to the flu going around school but it didnt go away it continued for another week and I lost about 12 pounds and started throwing up after almost every meal my dad was sufficiently freaked and took me to the ER and the doctor was convinced I was pregnant."
"She kept badgering me about even though I repeatedly said there was absolutely no way I could be pregnant unless I was the second coming of the virgin mary, I was on the verge of tears when she went so far as to tell my dad to leave the room so I could "admit the truth" she finally made me pee in a cup and SURPRISE! no baby."
"Then after just pushing really hard on my stomach and asking me if it hurt she said it must be my kidneys and wanted to start me on meds but warned that if it wasnt actually my kidneys that the medication could cause serious damage."
"It was at this point my usually very calm and reasonable dad completely lost his mind and asked the woman if she had actually gone to med school and pulled me out of there."
"We went to another hospital where I found out I needed an appendectomy immediately. Screw that dumb doctor not every teen girl with stomach pains is pregnant."
Cactusjacks22
It Is What We Thought It Was
"I got a call from my mother that my sister had been taken out of her apartment in an ambulance because she was in so much pain she couldn't walk- I lived about 40 minutes away but I was the closest so I went running."
"She's in crazy pain but they're basically ignoring her. Not appendicitis based on the initial exam, but in that general area. They're giving her the good drugs and asking her constantly if she's on her period or pregnant but do nothing else to actually check on her. Eventually (hours later) we're taken into an exam room (that fully isn't cleaned, they put a puppy pad over some blood on the step up to the chair) and they do an internal sonogram on her and say "Honey you need to pee, there's something in the way" she does and they still say "well something is in the way but it's so big that we know it couldn't be torsion which is what we're worried about- take some drugs and go home it's probably just cramps or a cyst that burst. Nothing to do."
"She goes to her gyno in the morning and is then rushed into surgery at a different (better) hospital. She had a grapefruit sized dermoid on her ovary, that did in fact cause ovarian torsion, and she lost her ovary as a result."
curlsandcollege
Strap Yourselves In, People
"I was in a car accident, and T-boned by someone going 65 MPH. My hand was caught in-between the collapsing car and the steering wheel."
"When I popped my hand out, I felt the bone break and it hurt like hell."
"Amazingly enough, I had no other injuries. But the EMT's were taking no chances, and thinking I was in shock, they strapped me onto a backboard and hauled me off to the ER. While in the ER, I was asked several times if I was injured anywhere, and I repeatedly said "My hand is broken, it hurts real bad. BTW - this backboard is hurting the hell out of the back of my head, can I get off of it, please? Also, can you please call my mother?" (FYI - I was 19)"
"2 hours later, I was still on the backboard, and I had lost count of how many people had asked me where my injuries were and me repeating "my left hand is broken...." but that was when I was finally taken down to the X-ray dept. There, they X-ray'd every bone in my body..... but my left hand."
"I am wheeled back to the ER, still on that goddamn backboard. By this time, I have a horrendous headache from where my head is resting on that 2x4, and I sit for another couple of hours. During that time I was able to talk a nurse into bringing me a bedpan so I could relieve myself, and that is when the cop came in, opened the curtains so everyone could see me, and give me a ticket."
"Finally, after having been in the ER for 6 hours, I've FINALLY talked someone into calling my mother to come pick me up, the doctor had FINALLY said I could get off of the backboard and when my mom got there (I'm not sure how many traffic laws she broke to get there as fast as she did), he let me know I had no injuries."
"Yes, I do. My hand is broken."
"Young lady, I'm the doctor, I tell you when your hand is broken."
"That was when I grabbed my ring finger on my left hand and pulled it out, and the break became visible through the skin."
"My hand is f-cking broken."
"Mom, being an attorney, just looked at the doctor and said "Does the word 'malpractice' mean anything to you?""
"Back down to the X-ray dept I went, and lo & behold, my damn hand was broken, but the Doctor was all how it was well hidden and that's why they missed it the first time (no, you missed it the first time because NO ONE X-RAY'D IT)."
"A couple of days later when I went to an ortho doctor to get my hand rebroken and the bone set (OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW) I pulled out the X-ray to take a look to see the break and how "hidden" it really was."
"Goddamn if you couldn't see that break right there in the middle of the bone plain as day."
"It's 20+ years later, the bone never did set correctly, and I'm starting to get arthritis in it. I can tell you when the weather is going to change based on how badly my hand is hurting."
bored-now
Both of my stories are with the same doctors, at the same hospital, having two different c sections. Fool me once and all that right?
For my first son, I was enduced and in labor for over 24 hours. My epidural had worn off. All of a sudden 4 doctors and 2 nurses rush into the room. 3 of the doctors just stick their hands in me at the same time and are frantic. One nurse is by the monitor. Finally she tells me that I'm having a 6 minute contraction and my son isn't breathing.
She gives me a shot to stop the contraction and my son starts breathing again. I am having a panic attack, and she tells me to calm down, and it's a side effect of the shot. Never mind that I'm freaking out because I'm worried about my son.
Good Lord...
"They say I need an emergency c section, though they don't take me back for another hour. My doctor was eating dinner. So even though it was an emergency, we had to wait."
"Also, the nurse never told my doctor that my son had swallowed his poop, so he was never properly cleaned out when he was born. He ended up having to stay a week because he got a lung infection from it."
"For my second son, I had a scheduled c section."
"The anesthesiologist had an intern with him, and said she will be putting in the epidural (I believe that's still what it is when you have a c section)."
"Those of you who don't know, they have to put this needle in your spine, and God help you if you move too much or they make a mistake."
"This girl put the needle in, and was moving it around. She couldn't find the right spot. It was beyond painful, and so hard to keep still. I could still feel my upper abdomen, which I don't think is normal, but since they were cutting my lower abdomen, I didn't say much."
"The doctor had 2 nurses lay their full body weight on both of my ribs to try to push the baby down. I told my anesthesiologist that they are hurting me and to make them stop. After a few minutes they did and my son was out."
"As soon as he was out, I felt EVERYTHING. I was breathing heavily, trying not to scream. The anesthesiologist gave me about 5 more doses over about 7 minutes before he told me he couldn't do any more. It didn't work. I could feel things ripping inside of me."
"It sounded and felt kind of like when you are ripping the guts out of a pumpkin with your bear hands."
"The doctor asked why I was breathing so heavily. The anesthesiologist told her I was in pain and could feel what she was doing. Her exact words: "well tell her to stop, I need to get her uterus back in."
"She didn't care how much pain I was in, and she acted like I couldn't hear her."
"Afterwards, the anesthesiologist was very apologetic. He said they have to go by certain guidelines. I was more understanding because the medicine finally kicked in, I was holding my son, and just happy it was over."
"I ended up opening my scar during my stay because the next 2 days, I felt absolutely no pain. My son was choking on throw up and the nurse left him at the foot of my bed, so I jumped across my bed to help him."
"I'm glad I no longer go to that doctor.'
jennyv753
Maybe just sleep it off the next time you're feeling under the weather?
Serious Bad Luck
"I went in to a minor surgery to remove a lip cyst and woke up 8 days later with my right leg amputated above the knee. Bad reaction to anesthesia caused heart failure. I was 23 at the time and 24 now. I’m one of those people with chronic bad luck."
F-ckmerit
It's Just A Spinal Tap
"More the doctor's office that screwed up than the hospital, but the resulting hospital visit wasn't fun."
"Went to college health center with classic mono symptoms (didn't find out it was mono until 8 months of symptoms later). They had me take a nap, then woke me up suddenly, in a dark room, half an hour after they closed, to inform me that I was being quarantined for meningitis and had to go to the hospital. I didn't want to take a $1000 ambulance ride, but they refused to let me drive myself or have a friend drive, so my options were "either take an ambulance or stay here all night."
"After three hours in the ER, the doc showed up and got all ready with his gloves, mask, etc. since I was "contagious." Then he took one look, ripped the mask off, and said "you look way too healthy to have meningitis, but since they brought it up I have to do a spinal tap anyway." Then he proceeded to stick a needle in my spinal cord while muttering angrily about how foolish of a diagnosis it was."
"tldr - paid a lot of money and got a needle in my spine because college docs insisted i had meningitis instead of mono"
jmacey72
Never forget, if you don't feel safe, just leave. No law saying you have to stay and receive treatment from people who you feel don't have your own interests at heart.
We have no problem paying highly skilled, trained professionals to do the unique, difficult-to-tackle jobs for us. That's not the issue. The issue is if someone tries to do the thing others are paid and given time to learn to do without any of the training required. You ever try to check someone's teeth on public transit?
This is why we hire professionals.
Reddit user, darkskinx, wanted to know what you probably shouldn't be doing if you're not a professional when they asked:
"What's something socially unacceptable, unless done by a professional?"
The discussion about medical care in this country and the unnecessary hurdles we need to jump through is a discussion for another time. The only thing we can talk about today are how we should be more thankful to our medical professionals for not completely losing their minds and turning on us.
Leave Everything On The Inside
"Cutting someone open."
TheOnlyDJk
"Yeah i'm a proffesionale murderer"
XOXO_Katy
"Aka bad surgeon."
TheOnlyDJk
It's All About Who You Know?
"prostate exam"
Chaotic_Road434
"my wife aint a medical professional but she's better and gentler at that task than any doctor I've met."
implicitexpletives69
...911?
"Cremation of a body."
Back2Bach
A workplace environment breeds strange interactions, ones we could never replicate outside of the cubicle walls. You ever try to a friend or family member there's going to be a "corporate retreat" when you're really trying to say "vacation?"
It only gets weirder from there.
I Guess Your Dentist Would Need To Know These Things?
"Hey dude, are you sexual active? How often are you flossing these days?"
NeoCat164
"I Hope This E-Mail Finds You Well"
"Passive aggressive emails"
"Corporate culture is toxic"
trug_bl
But I'm The Boss So It's...Still Not Okay.
"Treating employees like imbeciles and indirectly degrading them until they become mentally unstable. It’s far more common than anyone truly understands."
Technerd56789
This Is Why We Should Pay To Keep The Good Ones
"Requiring all your kids to spend hours in a room everyday with a single adult that you're unfamiliar with, while said adult does their best to shape their minds and their understanding of the world."
ThearchOfStories
We should be thankful there are people who we pay to do these things.
Otherwise, we should fear for the all the cows out there.
It's Not What You Do, It's HOW You Do It
"Sometimes I wonder if "remembering" is one thing."
"I mean you all know the "don't confuse your Google search with my doctor degree"."
"I'm a programmer, google IS my tool to remember."
who_you_are
"Knowing how to construct a useful search of reputable resources is a trained skill."
"Doctors and scientists use Google (and other materials beyond memory) all the time too, but the difference is knowing how to articulate the question, understanding which part of the context needs to be taken into account, and how to evaluate a resource as reliable and/or consistent with what you do expertly know."
FireTruckWhite
And Then They Report You To The Ring Community Page
"Locksmith opens doors and even gets money, when I try suddenly everyone is mad"
bablador
Unless You're A Licensed Professional, Maybe Keep Your Hands To Yourself...
"Artificial insemination of cows to produce dairy.."
Useful_Basket_
"This could be changed to "Forced insemination to produce dairy"... Definitely grimmer meaning."
Advanced_Vehicle_636
"And bull milking"
holy-f0ck
Go to school. Attend a trade show. Get the necessary training required to do what we should not be doing in our day-to-day lives.
Seriously, let's leave the cows alone unless we're properly compensated.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
If you've never seen the comedy classic, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," there is a scene where Arthur, King of the Britons, encounters a black knight guarding a bridge.
Arthur quickly figures out the stalwart knight will not let him pass, so the two do battle, with the king severely injuring his enemy in the process.
He cuts off all his arms and legs.
Yet the black knight persists, insisting his injuries are, "but a scratch."
Turns out this happens to people in real life, not so much with swords and knights, but with can openers and ice skates.
Reddit user, SingleFunction223, wanted to know what injury really wasn't as bad as it appeared to be when they asked:
"What was your 'Tis but a scratch!' moment?"
It comes out of nowhere, and that could be the leading cause to why you might not notice right away.
You want to get back to work, or your shopping, unaware you're missing your kneecap.
It's Just Really Good Makeup
"Worked at a haunted house that took place an in an old soap factory. During rehearsal one night, I tried to go down a narrow staircase in the dark, tripped down the stairs and fell into a conveniently-placed shopping cart."
"My shins were bleeding all over but I didn’t notice until like fifteen minutes into rehearsal and that’s only because somebody said something."
slaughterteddy
No, I Only Want You To Look At This Injury, Not That Injury
"I once dropped a piece of ducting at lowes (home improvement chain in USA) and tried to catch it, slicing my thumb and palm. Not too bad, but bleeding a bit. Clenched a tight fist to stop the blood and found an employee to ask for a bandaid, he looked at me and ran off to grab some and he came back with a handful. I was confused, only took two because it wasn't THAT bad and went to the bathroom to clean my hand and put on the bandaids."
"4 hours later I was scratching my leg at home and felt something weird. Looked down and there was a 4in long very bloody gash down my left shin that I had no idea about. Wasn't that deep but was rather long."
"That poor employee probably thought I was crazy, and I felt silly."
"Another time I was using an axe to chop up a branch and the head bounced funny off a knot and took a glancing blow at my shin. The only part of that I felt was the bruising from the impact. I couldn't even tell where the cut was without looking"
"Point is I am now convinced that shins feel no pain from cuts."
Nice_or_Sarcastic
So Bad You Need A Shot Out Of It
"I'm a very clumsy person, especially when it comes to the kitchen. However, every time I've cut myself with a knife or a can, or burnt myself, it has been something I'm able to fix at home, with a bandage or over the counter medicine."
"A couple years ago I was opening a can of beans, and had my middle finger extended when I was opening it. Unfortunately, I pulled the ring too fast, and the lid sliced my middle finger. I thought it was just another cut, so I went to my first aid kit, grabbed bandages, and went to the bathroom to clean the wound and apply pressure. I made a mess of the floor and my bathroom with the blood dripping."
"Nonetheless, no matter how long I kept pressure on it, the wound kept bleeding, and I was unable to put the bandage on it. I lived with my parents, so I asked them for help. They tried to cover the wound, but blood kept coming out. We gave up, decided it was time for the ER, and had to get stitches and a tetanus shot. I got a scar out of it, and lost my now bloodied beans, but fortunately the lid managed to miss the tendon, so I didn't lose mobility."
penguinsreddittoo
Confident Quarterback
"Dislocated my shoulder playing football but said I could keep playing. I was wrong."
– dodongtv
Injuries are somehow worse when no one is around to help.
That makes the situations when someone is there to tell you you're bleeding out the side of your head a little easier to stomach.
A Boss Keeping An Eye Out For You
"Sliced my hand during work from finger to elbow and tore the skin nearly clean off."
"At first I went, this is fine I just gotta get a bandage."
"Boss yelled at me and took me to the hospital."
AlleywayGum
No Help To Be Found
"Had a grinding wheel disintegrate, and a piece of it slammed into my thigh. Felt like a strong slap at the time, so I just hissed, rubbed it a little like a bruise, and went on back to what I was doing. About 10 minutes later noticed my sneaker was wet inside and saw the whole leg was covered in blood and the shoe was soaked."
"It wasn't a bruise lol, that piece split the skin and muscle pretty deep. And since it was in a remote location, there was no immediate opportunity to get it sutured, so now I have a mouth-sized and shaped scar there."
TheOnlyXBK
Don't Tell Mom
"When I was a kid we had this old go kart thing that I sat on while my older brother pulled a rope tied to it. We went around in circles then after landing from a small bump, my right leg got stuck between the front wheel & frame or so, next thing I know almost my entire right leg was drenched in blood."
"My brother took some cotton balls & bandages and started cleaning the blood, as we swear not to tell mom. Somehow turns out the cut wasn’t even that big or deep, only got a small band aid, not even needed at that. So in conclusion my skin is made of rubber and my blood flows like pulp."
companysOkay
If there's anything this entire discussion has taught us is that the human body going into shock can lead to some truly terrifying moments.
Makes You Wonder How Someone Doesn't Need Their Knee
"Took a spill at night while inline skating. Got up, felt some blood on my knee but kept doing some more runs."
"Got home and every other step I left a bloody footprint. My mum started screaming and I discovered I'd basically torn my knee cap off."
SalemScout
"Oof that escalated quickly"
Horror-Rock6276
Can You Hear This?
"Kind of a same thing happened to me when I was making our yard look cleaner with my 1960 Fordson Major tractor. Left-side axle snapped in half and I fell down a deep ditch."
"I just climbed the ditch like 'Well that was something' I walked inside to ask my dad to help me with my tractor but my mom came screaming at me in panic as my right ear was torn in half."
"I was so confused but she took me to the mirror. We went to hospital and I got stiches. Only started to feel pain in the morning."
"The tractor had a modified cockpit from a valmet or something. It was only made of iron so it wasn't that soft. That cockpit was totaled and so could have been me if it didn't land on its wheels. It could have been deadly."
Me_ofc_ourse
Listening To Doctors. What A Unique Concept.
"i walked around for over a week with a broken shoulder because i thought it was just a sprain. when i finally saw the doctor, i was like 'i’m pretty sure it’s just a sprain'. doc was like 'judging by the bruising, it is very much broken'. x-rays later confirmed."
skater_dude_717
That Bone Ain't Right
"I had a fall at a skate facility some friends were building and I ended up working at. They had just finished the 3' mini half-pipe. Landed bad on my wrist. It was painful overnight, but when I woke up pain had gone."
"Went on with my life. As someone else noted, it wasn't the pain that sent me to the doctor. It was the holding a cup of coffee, or a beer and getting the angle wrong and just dropping it that did. Six weeks later. I had a friend who was a doctor. He said he could feel that the scaphoid bone wasn't 'right'."
"He sent me to the hospital where his cousin worked and I ended up getting one of the first fibre-glass casts in Queensland. Which went well with being the first person to break a bone at my friends' skateboard facility."
– yearofthesquirrel
Falling For Her
"Fell out of a tree in front of a girl I liked. Seriously bruised my tailbone but successfully (I think) hid the absolute agony I was in until I was out of sight."
– [deleted]
Bada** Hero
"Got jumped by the guy who was stalking my cousin, he slit my throat, but didn't kill me. I beat him until I passed out. Woke up, got cleaned up and drove myself to the hospital after stopping to ask directions."
– Adddicus
Don't try to tough it out.
Get out the antibiotic ointment, grab the bandages, and just take it easy for the rest of the day.
No need to be a Black Knight about the whole thing.
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