Redditor ipeeontoiletseats wanted to hear from everyone who has given life a new course after some darker times. They asked all of you to share:
"How did you turn your life around?"
I need to hear this advice.
I'm all ears.
Over It
Who Cares GIF by Judge JudyGiphy"Stopped caring about things I can't control and put all my energy into the things I can. it sounds hard, but there's actually a lot you can control and that doesn't leave much room for the other stuff."
densestdenise
"bad neighborhood"
"When I was a teenager I was homeless. A lot of places wouldn't hire me because I had no experience or interview clothes. I went to the board of education and begged the HR lady to give me a chance at any job. I told her I'd scrub the school with a toothbrush if they paid me."
"They made me a general sub for clerical. I took a call for one of the 'bad neighborhood' schools that some others turned down. Walked across town to get there every day do I had to start walking at 4:30 am to be on time. I wore dress clothes from a church mission that were way too big but I did my best."
"After four months they gave me a long-term position. Then a permanent one with benefits. I saved up enough for an apartment (finding a landlord okay with renting to an 18 year old homeless girl was hard) and started college. I haven't been homeless a day since in the last 15 years. I even have a house now."
kalooboo
Never Give Up
"I quit drinking when I was 24 went back to college when I was 26 and graduated at 29."
LaineCochrane
"I had to take a break from college cause of depression and dumb decisions I made during my fourth year. I'm 23 and I still haven’t gone back. Always feel like I'm wasting my time, but this is inspiring to pick myself back up and go finish. Thank you for sharing."
saguirr97
"You are still so young! Go and finish it up. I finally went back to school last fall at the young age of 32. It's never too late!"
sunsguy87
You First
"Decided it's ok to put yourself first no matter what. I don't mean that go ahead and cheat and lie for your benefits."
"For example, I was seeing this toxic person for some time and I was the one always compromising and making efforts."
"When things finally ended, I chose to cut off all contact from that person while they wanted to remain in touch (for support or validation). I felt bad and selfish while doing it but starting to feel better about myself now that that person is out of my life."
"You need to be selfish if the other person is being selfish too."
aaebrownguy
Chances
Super Bowl Ok GIF by PepsiGiphy"Quit a job that wasn't making me happy, went back to college."
Shinespark7
"Just literally handed in my notice at my shi**y office job during a global pandemic/tanking economy to go back to college this September. I’m 29 and scared shi*less!! This has given me hope."
surebegrandlike
College isn't going anywhere.
Even you you go one class at a time.
Be Best
ichabod crane mirror GIFGiphy"I decided to stop comparing myself to my brother and try to focus on the improvable."
TheBearBearian
"That is great advice. Your brother is killing it we all look bad next to him. As awesome as he is, there is no real benchmark in success, and being our own better person is really what matters."
Nounoon
Finances
"Paid off my debts slowly but surely and worked my a** off to buy a house. Took years but it was worth it."
TheRealReapz
"Getting there myself. The debt part anyway. Would be faster if I wasn’t paying my way through grad school, but I should be debt free with a Master’s degree in two years. :) "
"I am very lucky and was able to have the opportunity to pay off all mine and my wife's debt. It's amazing how much more money you have when you don't have interest payments."
irocgts
Be Selfish
"Decided it's ok to put yourself first no matter what. I don't mean that go ahead and cheat and lie for your benefits."
"For example, I was seeing this toxic person for some time and I was the one always compromising and making efforts."
"When things finally ended, I chose to cut off all contact from that person while they wanted to remain in touch (for support or validation). I felt bad and selfish while doing it but starting to feel better about myself now that that person is out of my life."
"You need to be selfish if the other person is being selfish too."
aaebrownguy
Moving on Up
"Moving out of my parent's house. I was living with my parents (which is very common thing in India) until end of my med school. I've been in my comfort zone all my life and had everything I need. That led to depression and all I wanted is to live by myself and to get out of my bubble. Now, I can't say I figured it all but I definitely feel better."
yashwanthjoey
Feel the Burn
Excited Mood GIFGiphy"I heavily reduced sugar when I was 21 and started resistance training . 2 years later and I am feeling the best I have ever felt, have so much energy and self confidence because I actually like the way I look now. Clothes fit so much better as well."
eleuthero_maniac
So many ways to start again. Don't give up.
I'm Out
the good wife fight GIF by CBS All AccessGiphyDreamed of becoming lawyer, hated it, now in the process of changing careers. Been a lawyer for about 3 years. Prosecuted for the first two before jumping ship and doing 3rd party now. I am kind of lucky and didn't go into debt during undergrad/law school (GI Bill) its just a grind and I'm not happy so figure why not.
Canine Bond
During the day I walk dogs. I get paid money to hang out with dogs. I also get a fair amount of light exercise every day. I get to listen to music or podcasts or audiobooks while getting paid. I'm my own boss all day. I wake up when I want to. Dogs love me because they know I'm the guy coming to play and give treats. And at nighttime I deliver pizza. So I just show up to peoples houses and get cash for driving around listening to more music or podcasts or whatever. It's a great paying gig. And adults and children alike love when I come to the door. Because I'm the guy who gives treats.
It's a cycle of rewarding behaviors.
Edit: I should also note that the pizza gig has gotten me a few dog gigs because I'll meet their dog at the door or know how to handle it when it comes out barking at me and then offer my services. The dog usually loves me immediately because I smell like pizza. It's a win-win.
Walmart came for me....
I started a business, sold it to Walmart, and now I'm 33 and retired.
Started my business with $2k from a scholarship while in college, and at the time my mom said, "don't do it, that's too much money!"
Side note: we've always lived below the poverty line.
Made $869k in the first year, then exponentially grew from there. Then I guess Walmart thought I was encroaching on their space and bought me out.
Bought my mom a house and car and retired her as well. :)
Extreme Success
like a boss win GIFGiphyI didn't follow anything, but I have a family member who moved out to Hollywood from the Midwest on a whim, with the dream of becoming a stunt man, and is now a highly successful stuntman, and the richest person in our extended family by a massive margin.
So uh, follow your dreams I guess?
"screw it, this is my life not theirs"
For awhile I tried pursuing a number of career paths my parents deemed appropriate (aka super profitable), including legal and IT but I got burned out very easily and my heart wasn't in it. Was very depressed and uninterested in what I was doing.
Finally said "screw it, this is my life not theirs" and found a job that has more creative freedom. Definitely don't regret it. Doesn't pay as well as the jobs my parents wanted me to have, but I have less stress and more energy these days to pursue my interests and hobbies.
It's not my dream job but I make enough to pay all the bills and save a little each month, plus comes with health benefits.
Best piece of advice I ever got: if you are lucky enough to find a job that you get fulfillment and joy out of, that's great. There's also nothing wrong with getting a job that maybe isn't exciting but gives you enough financial security to be happy and keep following your dreams.
Always Chasing....
I remember being told when I was younger that I wasn't expected to be able to live independently (I have Aspergers). I live to prove that sentiment wrong: living an independent life is one step of my dream, with subsequent steps to become fulfilled.
Had some close calls over the years – almost ended up homeless twice – and suffered with a lot of mental illness. Worked a lot of crap jobs within the food industry, had a few failed relationships.
I've yet to find the fulfillment I am looking for, but for the first time in my adult life it feels reachable and realistic.
Now I'm chasing some sort of job in agriculture or horticulture. I've volunteered at a produce garden for just over a year now and being out in the open, amongst nature, makes me feel great.
Everyday Drag
I went through two tragedies... I lost my sister (she was murdered by her husband in front of me) and two weeks later, I lost my 5 month old son to SIDS; so I decided to pick myself up and follow my dream of wrenching. Went to college for it and everything! First worked on light duty vehicles, in a shop that I barely made any money and hated it.
Went onto being a diesel mechanic and currently am in a position of which everyone hates me (presumably because I'm still new, and I'm a woman in man's world) at my workplace, and I have no respect. Currently looking into finding a new career path to live out my true dream, of a happy, adventurous life with my SO and my dogs! Still employed, but everyday is a drag, because everything I do is scrutinized.
PR Fail
never mind GIF by Scout DurwoodGiphyMy dream was to grow up have a stable marriage and raise kids. While I do enjoy my job and I've successfully moved from one career to the next a few times I wouldn't say it was my "dream".
One of the saddest things to me is seeing people I worked with in advertising being so angry and feeling betrayed that that industry didn't take care of them. It is one of the crappiest most amoral businesses you can conceive of and yet apparently there are people who "dream" of working in it.
Go Seahawks!
I'm still young and trying to figure out what the hell I wanna do with my life but my cousin tried chasing an NFL contract, and actually landed one. He plays for the Seattle Seahawks now.
Just pick something obtainable and go for it. Don't over-think it. If you're young, you can always change course later.
Truth = Power
Happy Yes It Is GIFGiphy"Follow your dream!" is not good advice. "Follow your dream by learning as much about the process of becoming a success as you can so you don't become a failure!" is far, far better advice.
and I still play games.....
Living with my gamer wife in my own house with 3 cats and a sweet gaming pc. My dream was always to continue gaming online and working as little as possible. Family always saying to get a job and go out and find a GF but I didn't really enjoy clubs or pubs etc. Few years back I asked someone in my guild if she liked me and she said yes.
This got me to get a job and what was originally just something to get money turned out to be an awesome job and now she is living with me and are 1 year married. My dream wasn't something spectacular but my dream of gaming online turned into something awesome... and I still play games.
Not so Great
Season 5 Whatever GIF by CBS All AccessGiphySister got into her favorite college, moved to her favorite city, working at a job she always talked about growing up.
Honestly, I don't envy her at all. It broke her mentally and financially.
Starting Over
Dreamed of moving to Europe and starting over. I was really shy growing up, and wanted to move to a new country and reinvent myself. To some extent, I did. I moved to Germany, did a year at a Studienkolleg, which was essentially a preparatory course that got me used to the school system and taught me German, and now I'm applying to Uni. I essentially went from incredibly introverted to incredibly extroverted.
I went from the guy that would stay in on a Friday night to study for an upcoming exam to one that would book a joyride to Berlin on a whim and end up waking up in the wrong hostel. It was definitely a good decision, because I can decide things for myself now. I'm actually independent, for better or worse.
be creative
I finally published a number of fiction novels and still working EMS. I love emergency medicine. Being able to help people as well as share my creativity and stories is pretty amazing. I'm glad I chased what I wanted.
Broken
Wanted to be a teacher and make a difference. Now 2 years out of teaching, unemployed, getting over a drinking problem and have massive social anxiety. Teaching broke me and now I just want to be left alone. Some dream, huh?
The Stage
daveed diggs hamilton GIFGiphyI'm currently (well before Covid) performing on cruise ship as a dancer on huge scale shows! It's amazing that I get to do the thing in life that I'm most passionate about and travel across Europe all while getting paid for it. It's also great that I don't have to house in the UK as my contracts are normally 4 months on 2 months off (I stay with my parents or rent when I'm off)! I'm living out my childhood dream and I'm also recording self tapes for west end shows!
Relationships...
My first dream was to be married to someone who challenges me to do better every day.
Married now, and don't need a job now because my husband has a well enough paying job so now I can work on my mental health while getting my crafting business off the ground and not worry about paying bills,
THOUSANDS OF BOXES
I invested my savings and retirement into starting a company, made a massive deposit with an Indian manufacturer, they developed and produced my product...
Now they won't send it to me because they are mad I got mad they wouldn't send it to me so now they won't send it. They sent a hundred boxes (only) and photos so yes the product exists and is ready to ship. Of course they want more money which I don't owe them.
How can I owe/pay them more money if I can't sell the THOUSANDS OF BOXES of product they refuse to send me?!!? They are being fools out of spite because I got mad they were being uncooperative... because they messed up prior shipments too (samples delayed for months, he ghosted me for two weeks, constant lying...)
Yes. So now everything lays around me in tatters and... WTF am I supposed to do?
Things that Sparkle....
I dreamed of being a jeweler since i was 16... I became One. But i am One of those people, who hate to sell... I love making, creating, sometimes getting peoples dreams come true. But i hate and even physically can't do marketing if selling... For The past 8years i managed to survive in that. I could feed myself and pay my bills. But that was that... Finally Covid hit, I got dumped in two months unpaid holidays with no savings.
And i made up my mind. Į found myself some simple, medium wage computer job from home, working 2 twelve hour days and getting 2 days off. I'm gonna keep jewelry as a hobby, put more time for my other art projects and just survive on a stable salary. Flipped my life in the past month... Panic attacks stopped, so I'm fine now and will see where ill end up. Art is almost never a good carrier plan, but is perfect hobby.
Catching babies....
baby documentary GIF by SundanceNOW DocClubGiphyI followed my dreams to become a midwife. Now I'm entering my second year of school and I'll be catching babies this winter. It hasn't been easy and the program is tough. I can't believe I made it this far. The hardest part is the school admission. The program is cutthroat and really competitive.
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YNAB!
I made a sourdough starter. Now this jar of yeast will live forever in my fridge, it's like a new pet.
Also, tracking all my expenses on YNAB! It's really reassuring knowing where my money is going and making plans to save. ImprovedMeyerLemon
The Garden.
I have a potato garden now, it's not too big but I really enjoy doing it and it's such a cool feeling when they sprout for the first time. 11Scorpion
We planted corn and other vegetables, and they are beginning to grow. It's a long-term project without instant satisfaction, like investing. PhuckNazis
Good investment.
Bought an inexpensive bidet and not going back. No longer have to worry about the lack of toilet paper in the area. Bought two 30 packs of washable, drying wipes and have never felt cleaner. Read somewhere, some time ago.... if you had crap anywhere else on your body... would you trust toilet paper to get it off? No noticeable difference in the water bill. Good investment. Stock-Suspect
Business Ventures.
GiphyI opened my Etsy shop back up. Closed it down about 8 years ago with little success. Back then I hoped it would become an income source. Now it's just a hobby, which makes it way less stressful :).
Hopefully after quarantine I'll still have time to actually make jewelry! Definitely didn't have time before :/ xTruthProofx
Family Life.
Cooking the majority of my family's meals and we eat them at the dinner table with no devices, and I take them out for a walk/hike/bike ride every night as "entertainment."
This has made me appreciate what I have even more than I did, and I'm bringing us all back to the 60s complete with B&W TV to maximize the family time. billbapapa
Push It.
GiphyDaily push-ups.
I decided to do the 30 day challenge of 100 push-ups per day. I'm typically doing 110 to 120 push-ups per day now. Before the pandemic I did zero per day.
EDIT: Also, a once a month grocery trip instead of the 2 or 3 times per week trip. We started shopping every 3 or 4 weeks now and it's been so much nicer. Buying in bulk, cooking larger meals (with leftovers), etc. We've actually been saving money doing this, mostly because we aren't doing things like buying snacks on the way home after work, etc. SharkOnGames
Get Ready.
Prepping. Even if this all ends with a whimper, even if November comes and goes without a Civil War starting, even if this flu season winter goes as usual, I'll still be prepared as much as I can be for whatever can go wrong. GE15T
The Essential.
Stopped buying things I don't need. I buy essentials and maybe a few things to help not go crazy and that's it. If you get creative you don't need to buy useless things. I wish everyone would stop buying Crap and I would sit back and watch the big malls crumble. fib16
Workday.
Hopefully, working from home. I've already begun browsing job postings. My coworkers and office culture are great, and my work is tolerable. However, the commute and constant human interaction just drain the life out of me. I've been such a better father and husband for the past 2 months, and I so don't want to go back. hertz037
Run Forrest.
GiphyRunning. I couldn't even run one mile without walking before the lockdown, now I'm running 7 miles each day. I've been trying to challenge myself - I've always hated running in the past but honestly now I'm starting to enjoy how it makes me feel. Never thought I could get into running but here I am. heyhellohigoobye
Slow. Down.
I hope that I continue to enjoy a little bit slower paced life and don't pack my schedule full of obligations and appointments and events. It's been nice to just take time and not feel rushed and actually enjoy a day off. lordvoldemortnosejob
For sure. I noticed as soon as I got out of isolation, I was annoyed by the people around me. It sure made me want to stay inside more lol. Edgelord_Joey
You Got This.
I started going to AA meetings. I have twelve days of sobriety under my belt, I'm really hoping that this is the beginning of many years clean. yourbrainonvape
On Tuesday, I'm at 9 months. Keep it up. It gets really exciting in the first few months. You can see clearly and can really start focusing on other things and appreciating parts of life you've been neglecting. homeless_gorilla
Talk to Me.
Therapy.
Admitting I need help and not repressing my feelings to myself.
I was in therapy before quarantine but the therapist was not right for me (very dismissive) so I stopped around mid February. I then fell into old habits and thought I could just figure things out and things will get better.
I'm much more optimistic with the new therapist and opening up to loved ones. I feel like I'm on a road to a better me. _fablednature
Sweat!!
GiphyWorking out at home. agito90
I do hella yoga now!!! The pain in my back is completely gone unless I slack off for a couple days. I always thought it was a cop out exercise, but it's been so helpful!!! probably_not_carole
The new Rachel Ray....
I've been cooking a lot more for my mom, since she's the only one that kept her job. She's a housekeeper too, and I will admit that I didn't pull my weight around much at home since she would tell me to leave it for her later. But I'm home now, and the housekeeper shouldn't come home to clean her own home and cook her own meals.
I'm doing my best to go through all the cabinets and cooking what we have, and I think she appreciates it.
She likes trying new things, but feels she might mess them up so she's not used to cooking new recipes that aren't part of her established knowledge base. She still buys the ingredients though, and I'm not afraid to look up things online/ know how to google. I'll make some chow mein or stew from all the odd cuts of meat we have hiding in the freezer, and so far the food experiments are turning out well/tasty =).
...except the banana bread.... I don't know what happened with that... RDKibara
Spic and Span.
Washing my hands as soon as I get home. 1000livesofmagic
Yes! don't get me wrong i was washing my hands pre-Covid but now I'm much more aware of what i'm touching throughout the day and how easy germs can spread so now i wash my hands after i unpack groceries, when i get home and i put hand sanitizer after getting into my car. soitgoes_9813
Packing On....
Weight gain. ctc_celtic
No kidding, I'm hoping to continue to do so. I've been underweight for my entire life and have been stuck in a spiral where I eat too little, which makes me lose my appetite, which makes me eat less, etc etc etc.
I finally gained 2 kg in lockdown and I'm hoping to come out healthier :)). TheRedditLogo
Do it Yourself.
My own manicures. I have saved over $50 a month doing it myself, and it's much more rewarding. Also, my nails are healthier. I was getting dip powder manis regularly, and I had no idea how thin and unhealthy my nails were. pierogiepowers
The gel manicures prevent your nails from breathing unlike traditional nail polish. They say you should let your nails breathe after 2 weeks of gel. So, 2 weeks gel, 1 week regular, 2 weeks gel, etc. Thumbupthewhat
Because of Covid.....
GiphyGrocery pick up! I always dreaded grocery shopping, but did it any way. Because of Covid, I haven't been into the grocery store in 5 weeks and instead do grocery pickup. It's a dream. truthfrommyredlips
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "
" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
Dad is Coming!
GiphyI'm going anonymous on this heart-wrenching story as it has legal implications, still in process.
This is written against the backdrop of a very messy divorce wherein my deranged wife was trying every below-the-belt dirty trick to try and get what she wanted - $12 000 per month for herself so she could live like a princess without working - in essence to fuel her life she chose which was basically a non-stop erotic cabaret.
Up until our split, we lived in a beautiful house, 2 full-time servants, luxury cars - I did all the work AND looked after my two most exceptionally beautiful, smart and sensitive boys, aged 3 and 5 years respectively. She contributed nothing, except sleep, have coffee meetings, party, and as I suspected was messing around with anything that moved - as in dead policeman and rolls of barbed wire weren't safe!
At this point it is important to note that at this stage we were living apart and the children were living with me - her choice. She was advised by both her lawyer and our independent arbitrator that her chances of getting anything were slim. She went to the Family Court, fabricated physical abuse (I have never hit a woman ever), obtained an interim protection order forcing me to pay her the $12 000 per month PLUS all the boys' expenses, thereby enslaving me whilst simultaneously denying me access to my children, whom I loved and cared for more than anything…and then she did the unthinkable…
Under the pretense of 'taking the boys to a birthday party,' she put them on a plane, taking them to a city 1000 miles away to live with her grand parents. The protection order forbade me going within 150 yards of her or her abode. My boys were so confused - they had suddenly been ripped away, without preparation, from their home, their main psychological reference points, their dog and cat, their au pair, their friends, their school… they sounded so, so devastated when I spoke to them by phone. I took advice from lawyers, a psychologist and social workers, all saying pretty much the same thing:- "You have to get the boys back quickly!"
On a Friday morning, being day 5 after their snatching, I surreptitiously established they had been dropped off at relative's home. I knew she would only be back the next day - after all it was Friday and she would have to party all night! I caught the last plane that night, fetched a rental car, drove to the suburb where they were staying, put the seat down and tried to get some sleep.
At 6:30 the next morning I drove to the house where they were and parked half a block away. The house was ultra-secure, high walls, electric fencing, CCTV etc. Looking through a gap in the gate I could see my youngest playing in the front garden. I pressed the buzzer and the gate opened! I walked inside, picked up my surprised youngest in my arms, I was then greeted by the also very surprised maid who knew me, as well as the situation. She asked what I was doing there. I said I've just come to drop some clothes and toys off for the boys. I asked my youngest where his brother was, he said still sleeping and showed me where he was. I picked him up out of bed and carried both, asking the maid to open the gate for me. She asked why and I said I just need to fetch the clothes and toys from the car. She opened the gate!!!
I ran for the car, one boy on each hip, telling them we were going on holiday, and trying to assure them that everything is OK. I hit the highway, turning my phone off whilst trying to hold back the tears. We drove 8 hours and finally booked into a guest farm in the desert.
That night when I put my beautiful boys to bed my eldest said to me "Dad, I want to thank you for saving me, this is the best day of my life." Anonymous
Better Luck Next Time.
Long story ahead!!! Be careful…
Manager of my 1st company is in jail now, as police took strict action on my F.I.R.
It's very long ago, That was the beginning of my career. I joined a very small company after passing out from college.
That was a small organization which had hardly 24-25 employees (including 1 team leader and 1 HR)
The boss or the owner was not good overall in nature, (I heard a few stories from female colleagues about sexual harassment)
Everything was going fine till the day when I needed 2 days off from office for a personal reason.
I approached my team leader to follow the hierarchy. But he said boss(owner of the company) had strictly warned both the team leaders not to allow anyone to grant leave without his permission.
So I went into the cabin of our boss for the same reason. I told him the whole scenario. He said, its ok you can take leave but asked me to meet him at 05:00 pm so that he would make sure, no one else is granted leave on those days.
I thought it was logical and fine. (So I went again to his cabin at around 5 while everyone else was leaving the office)
Some of my colleagues were passing a smile at me. (They must have thought I had compromised to my boss)
I entered the room, the boss was relaxing on his chair. I repeated the whole scene once again.
He got up from his seat and touched my hand as he was telling, "its okay, take leaves of as many days as you want."
I felt something fishy there, but I wanted to be sure about his intention.
Then he said, As you are going on holiday next week, why don't you join me on dinner today evening. After which we can take a rest on the hotel.
The whole scene was clean now. He was offering me a night stay with him in indirect words.
well, as I already mentioned my friends were passing a smile at me when I entered, exactly at that time. I turned on the camera of my phone and put it on the side pocket of my jeans.
So now this was my turn, there was no one except a peon, I and my bloody boss in the office. Peon was busy in the pantry which I know.
I held his both the shoulders and kicked on his testicles very tightly and said "better luck next time." I took out my mobile phone and played the video from starting. He was sweating badly and asked me how dare you to do this?
I sat on the chair next to him and said, "Do you know what I can do with this recording"? I left the office for the day and came home. I left that job after clearing all my dues.
My intention was to give him 1 more chance to realize his mistake. But after thinking for 2-3 days, I went to the police station with my father and registered an FIR.
That person is behind the bars now.
This is something which changed my whole life. Also, this was the bravest thing Which I have ever done. Sarika T
Everyday.
Okay... Certainly there are people out there who have faced harder life than me and much more brave than me... But nonetheless, this is my story..
I dated him for more than two years and were totally in love with each other..at least I thought so. Then one day he told me that he is getting engaged to some other girl and we broke up. Details of the break up are not so necessary here but it's impact on me is the point.
I had suicidal thoughts on my mind for two months after the breakup. I lost 7kgs of weight in 3months. I stopped taking care of myself. I saw him every day. We worked together every day in same team. He seemed unaffected and was preparing well for his engagement with good diet plan sitting right beside me. I wanted to quit my job or at least switch to another one. I became a loner and went inside my shell. Watching him chat with his fiancee was killing me. And among all this he got engaged. He came to office with sweets. And yeah.. All this while he didn't forget to give me a sympathy dose from time to time. There was still 4 months time between his engagement and marriage... And this is what I decided to to:
1. Had two pieces of sweets he brought after engagement and congratulated him.
2. Did NOT block him on WhatsApp or Facebook but never spoke anything personal with him after that.
3. I ate well. Dressed well. Mixed up with people and watched movies.
4. I did NOT quit or switch my job. I never like to quit succumbing to circumstances without giving a tough fight. I continued to work with him professionally.
5. I ignored his requests to meet or speak to him. It was very tempting to get back to all that.. But I didn't.
6. If I wanted to, it was easy to create a scene. Mess up with his fiancee or involve parents or emotionally blackmailing with texts... BUT I CHOSE TO LET GO!
7. I smiled and laughed at the jokes and teases in office groups. *No one knows we were dating* It killed me at that time.
8. He got married and went on honeymoon. I was killed somewhere deep inside. But I shouldered his entire office responsibilities single handedly. Travelled alone to different cities during this time and focused on work.
9. He is now back from honeymoon. I still see him everyday. Things seem a lot more tough again but I will continue and I will not quit.
This to me is my bravest self ever... Peace. Anonymous
Why do you Worry?
Most frightening moment of my life, was a narrow escape. It was 9 years back from now. The city where my college was not a very safe one to roam around at nights, one of the infamous cities in western Uttar Pradesh.
At this particular day, my friend, who lived in the same city but another college, came to my place. We had fun, did crazy stuff, ran and laughed out loud on roads, ate street-food, went to watch the Bollywood movie Tare Zameen Par and felt awesome. It was one of those awesome days when your cheeks hurt because you laughed too much. We were back at my hostel by evening.
Now, she had to catch her train at around 10:45 or 11:00 at night, she had to leave for her hometown. We had had so much awesome time together that the idea of stopping the fun at 8:00 PM just like that didn't sound good.
Someone said we will go Railway station to drop her and will be back within time. For reference, Railway station was at another end of city and it usually took more than an hour to reach there. I was little uncomfortable with the idea but, so high was our energy that I would have sounded a spoiler if insisted them to stay. And I was feeling little awkward that she was actually my friend and everyone except me was excited about seeing her off (yeah, seems funny now).
Then I thought to myself "there is risk everywhere, you can't sit back home scared. And moreover it's just this natural instinct of fear which is almost always there but does something horrible happen every time? Nah. you are being too timid. We are five girls, will handle anything."
After a small debate and session of getting ready, we left hostel chit-chatting and giggling and laughing. The only commutation to station was City Bus.
We boarded, continuing our jokes and all. After one and a half hour, we reached station. Station was almost stranded or at least no considerable number of trustworthy people there but it was safe inside at platform.After checking platform number and train running status and finally seeing her off, we started back, exiting the station. Suddenly all the noise and laughing we were making started echoing in our heads. The silence outside the station was horrifying. It was quite dark and station was nowhere near the city. We had to cross a road with jungle both the sides. Sound of railway announcement was still heard in background.
We were tired by now and little scared too. Though we kept on talking, because maybe no one was saying that she was actually scared.
In front of the railway station, at the other side of road, was the city bus stand but no bus seemed ready to leave. And oh it was 10:30 by now, somehow we were late as per our plan. We got really scared for how would we go back!
Suddenly a sigh of relief! There was one bus with a driver inside and lights on.
We ran towards the bus, the bus driver looked at us and started the engine. I stopped for a moment as there was no one else in the bus and my gut wasn't telling me anything good about it. But aha! As soon as we came near the gate there was conductor running towards it and other passengers who must have been waiting for the bus to be started, appeared and took their respective seats.
We confirmed with driver if this bus would go to the place we wanted to go because the sign was for somewhere else, he was affirmative but seemed in hurry. I thought to myself that he must be starting bus hurriedly because he was being nice that few girls were there alone in a winter's night, that too at a place where no other female was in sight.
Everyone of us knew what kind of risk we had taken and by then I had started feeling a mix of depression, discomfort and excitement. Between those moments we talked about Empowerment. And beneath our words was lying a truth which mocked the shallowness of this word and kept us scared all the time.
We got seated, relaxed. Our smiles were back and now we started recalling whatever we did whole day, laughing and swearing….suddenly me and my room-mate started feeling weird, we were not able to explain this to others but we sensed something was wrong. We got quiet, noticed that the passengers who were sitting at random places are all now sitting at the seats beside driver. And they all are friends. And we all were just noticing, without talking to each other. Then I realized that the conductor and driver and everyone else were friends. All fun vanished and brain started to calculate every possibility of worse. It was hard to believe that they were not random passengers.
I looked out of the window and this was the beginning of the moment when I was most frightened. We were not on the road towards city, it took us somewhere off road. By this time we all knew where this was heading. I don't know when did this happen but we all were holding each other's hands. I looked back inside the bus and what I saw was worse than a bad nightmare, dramatic, scary and unimaginable.
They were happy as if preparing for a feast. I just can't tell anyone ever what actions they were doing, most of which I did not understand then and realized later in my life when grew up.
Those were almost 8-9 men. This was the moment I was most frightened ever in my life. That moment was passing too slow, I saw everything in slow motion. I am still not able to explain the horror. All my senses faded, I could only hear their devil laughter over bus's running sound. One of us started crying and trembling and said she was going to jump out of the bus, other one was holding her religious locket and started praying.
Somehow my brain was still working and I took my phone out. In the mightiest effort of my life, as loud as I could be, I pretended to talk to someone and said "Hello, uncle! Yes, we have started from here."
That railway station was near Cantonment area, one thing in our favor. So, I used this fact and said "But these guys are not taking us via the cantt road in front of your house. What? Bus number?"
I shouted at driver, completely ignoring what was going on (believe me that was the most difficult thing I have ever done, ignoring those) "Bhaia! Bus ka number kya hai? aur ye kaha se le kar ja rhe ho, mere uncle cant road se idhar aa rahien hain gaadi lekar. Apna gadi ka number batao jaldi."
Translation: "What is this Bus's number? And what weird route you are taking, my uncle is coming from Cantt road towards our bus in his car. Tell me the bus number."
"Oh it's written in front of me." I shouted and started citing the bus number on phone to my imaginary uncle.
In city buses the bus number is mostly written behind driver's seat.
He didn't respond. Other men carried on doing what they were doing. By this time I knew we are not going to reach anywhere tonight. I wanted to cry. Moreover I so damn regretted not forcing everyone to stay back. I felt extreme guilt and anger over everyone's immaturity, including myself.
They were celebrating. Driver seemed little nervous and I, with all my fake confidence, started shouting at him about the route. I was behaving as if we were not frightened and totally unaware that they were preparing for something devilish. Others got courage too and tried to not look frightened.
Something happened, he suddenly turned the bus and speeded like anything. In a short time we were at main road and market area was near. Our frozen blood started getting warm and we almost jumped off the bus and while we were getting down, the conductor hanged from the gate almost over me and said in that type of voice, you understand right?
"arey ghar tak pahuncha kar ayenge ham log tension kya hai?"
Translation: Oh c'mon! We can drop you ladies till your home. Why do you worry?
If I had claws I would have cut his tongue out, I swear.
We found another bus which was safer and full with people. Though most of them were laborers and workers (not that I am labeling laborers as someone you can't travel with, but just sharing what my mindset was at that time and still today I don't feel a lot safe around these people) but still it was inside city and there were few elderly people as well. We didn't speak a word to each other. Reached our hostel. Managed a late entry, banged the door and just didn't sleep that night.
The Teacher.
GiphyI was in 11th and in a new school. After 12 years of being in a convent school, it was difficult for me to adjust to this new school where people abused, made out in every isolated place they could find in the school premises, smoked in washrooms among others. Unfortunately I happened to date someone from the same school at that time (someone I could never think of dating today). For obvious reasons we had broken up when things started to get screwed up for me. And yes, it was my first love so I was heartbroken ( or believed in the illusion of a heartbreak). Now that I have explained the background details, I'll pen down what happened after that.
Someone supposedly from my previous school abused someone from my new school and this spread like fire. The English teacher (she happened to be a past student of the same convent) came to class and started abusing the girl and the convent. She went on to say how that girl does not deserve to live and many other derogatory things which were uncalled for. I stood up and told her how she had no right to comment on the integrity of someone's character and of the school she herself had studied in. She went and told everyone that I had back answered. From then on every teacher started discriminating me for no reason. They failed me in Physics and Maths for no reason. I got the lowest grades in English repeatedly.
My class teacher insulted my mother in every parent-teacher meeting. Also i had left her English tuition ( I happened to be one of her favorite students until I left her tuition). I was pissed. One day while I was returning from the washroom, coincidentally I happened to pass by my ex bf. We neither talked or looked at each other. The English teacher saw us passing by and caught me. She accused me of bunking class to meet him ( She didn't have the courage to say anything to my ex because he belonged to the oh-so-dreaded commerce section). And then she hit me for breaking the code of conduct. For the first time in my entire life a teacher had hit me. That too for no reason. She hit me repeatedly. I went and complained to the head mistress. Nothing much was done because I had a tarnished reputation ( during that time my dad had an heart attack and I was far from thinking about breakups, boy friends blah blah). And on top of that my ex-bf and his friends started spreading that I had slept with him. For a 11th standard kid, that was hell (I did cry my eyes out unless I realized I had no reason to. I was seventeen.).
He was in the school hall during the break time, making fun of me, explaining people how he did me ( for him I sure was an accomplishment). I went and slapped him 5 times stating him the reason for each slap in front of the entire school. What followed was not decent but it made me proud as I didn't choose to take shit from him or that teacher unlike many others would have. I had the courage to not think of the consequences and stand up for what I believed was right.
But, no matter how much I try I can never overcome the trauma that they made me go through in 11th. I literally stopped interacting with anybody in school after the incident. I have become more cautious in life about choosing my acquaintances. But something in me has not changed, I might be hurt, insulted, challenged, but I'll still stand for what is right without thinking of the consequences. I always will.
P.S- I got the highest in English in my boards. :)
P.P.S- I wish that English teacher's daughter never comes across a teacher like her mother. AnonymousAnonymous
The Strangest 'Wrong Number' Stories | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Before we all had caller ID, wrong numbers phone calls were commonplace. But now that almost everyone screens their calls, it's wrong number texts that have ...The Bundle.
This incident happened in July 2009 when I was returning home from work at 11 pm (yeah.. IT company).. It had become my routine working 13 hours a day in my company. I used to board the 1040 guindy to egmore (chennai, india) train and reach egmore at 11pm and wait for bus number 20 series to go to my home in ayanavaram. While i was waiting that day, there was a lady sitting on the bus stand with some cloth bundle beside her (couldn't see what was inside it). She was completely lost in thoughts and i was minding my own business thinking what to do with my life (i was 21.5 yrs old). Later, couple of street dogs came and started sniffing the cloth bundle and to my surprise the baby inside the cloth bundle starts crying (one of the dogs must have licked/touched the baby). I was immediately horrified and went near the woman who is still indifferent to what was happening around her and saw the baby inside the cloth bundle and the dogs beside it. I drove away the dogs and started asking questions to tat woman
Me : Akka, andha kolandha ungaludha??( sister, is that baby yours)
Woman: amam (yes)
Me: yen ipdi inga okarthirtkeenga?? neenga enga poreenga (why are you sitting here, where are u goin?)
woman(breaks down) and tells me that she belongs to thirukalugukundram village in chengalpet district which is near chennai and her husband is part of a construction crew working in chennai. He admitted her in Govt General Hospital for her labor two days ago and he absconded the next day after knowing that the baby was a girl. She went on to say that the wards at GH threw her out once she couldn't pay them and left her on the street that evening. she came to the railway station with the intention of going to chengalpet but she didn't have the money to go to chengalpet and then from there to her village. i inquired if her parents had a mobile to inform her whereabouts but she said they don't have one.
I asked her if she had had anything to eat and then offered the half packet britannia biscuits i had in my office bag. I took her to a restaurant and we ate there. She fed the child and we came to egmore station at 1230 am. i checked the charts for train timings and realized that there was no train to chengalpet at that time. i called a cab and we started the 70 km journey at 1am. throughout the journey i was also terrified n skeptical of being robbed, assaulted and all other bad things that could possibly happen to me(yeah.too many fims n stories).
We reached there around 215am to her parents surprise and they were thankful. i gave her 2000rs which was there in my pocket n told her to take care of herself.
Started the return journey at 3am and came back to my house at 430am. When my mother inquired i told her i had work and slept with satisfaction like a baby.
i went back to work at 9am sharp like i always do n there was a deep sense of satisfaction with myself. Maheswaran R
CAT.
In 2007, I was like really curious and excited to Clear CAT and get into IIMs (Top MBA college in India). But I failed, I got like 99 percentile but missed the cut off in verbal (Got around 90 percentile).
Again, I wrote CAT in 2008 with much better preparations. This time I got 95++ Percentile in each of sections with 99++ Overall but analyzing cut-offs , I figured I missed cut off by a mark each in different sections of each college. This really pissed me off and I decided not to bother to get into IIM again. But I was feeling totally dejected. So to prove a point , that it wont be IIM who reject me but other way round. I wrote CAT again in 2009. This time I got 99.88 percentile with 99+ percentile in each section. Had calls from IIMA , IIMC , IIMK and IIMI. But as I had already decided , I proved my point and did not attend interview for any of institute. I was feeling really good about me , that I proved a point that I wanted to prove.
In India , doing such a thing is never easy. My parents called my cousin in London , who had studied in IIT and IIM to reconsider my decision as it would really be stupid to let go of such an opportunity. All of family and friends tried to convince me so hard.
And what was most difficult in this was, my business had failed, I had small loan (2.5 lac) to repay. No current source of income. No money to pay my office bills too. But it all fell in place. Within a month after this I started new business, earned more then what 99% of CEOs in India would earn over next 3 years. Invested in a flat. Took almost complete year off on recreations activities and doing what I loved doing including travel (Earned enough to afford a year long holiday).
I am still not sure what I did was right or wrong but am happy and willing to take responsibility for my decision. I am happy that I stood for what I believed in. Rohit B
Stay With Him.
On 8th July, a Tuesday morning, I was going to saloon, seen this poor thing beside a road side tea stall. He was drenched totally in last night rain. His body matted with dirt. First I thought he was dead. Felt little sad and left, walked two steps, turned to look at him, still don't know why, for one more time and noticed his chest is moving and he was still breathing. Got excited and touched him. He opened eyes and began to growl (he was in terrible pain). Caught him and took him to our hostel parking. He was afraid and trying to escape. But he couldn't. Something ran over him. His spine and hind legs were useless. All night he drenched in rain. He was tired and possibly hungry. Bought some milk and tried to feed him. But he was still growling and dragging his body away from me.
Secured a cardboard box to put him in it. This time he bit me. I left him there to clean my wound and went to find a veterinary center. Luckily found a veterinary hospital. Receptionist told me to wait till 9 am. Returned to the hostel and collected my things. But someone took the cardboard box. So I took him to hospital in a carry bag. A nurse cleaned him while I was holding him. When the nurse put a needle in his body to administrate saline mixed with medicine, my eyes welled-up tears. The doctor said his survival chances are very low and told me to bring him three more days. All the day I stayed with him, first in office and then in hostel.
It's sad that he didn't survive and died on the same day.
While feeding milk to him, cleaning him, being with him all day, I found a true meaning of happiness. Actually I didn't help him. He helped me by serving me some joyous moments staying with me.
Once, a long time back ago, I am still a child then, a puppy died trapped in a drain pipe. It was crying all night for help. No one helped and me too. My dad strictly ordered me not to do anything. His logic was that we didn't own the puppy and so it's none of our business and nobody was helping it, so you shouldn't also.
So helping the cat on that day is the bravest thing I ever did. Because I proved to myself that one don't need anything and anybody to do what is right, which i knew, but never did. On that day i broke myself free from my own confinement.
PS: Several people teased me for helping the cat. They said they would have used the money I spent on the cat in a better way if gave it to them. They laughed on me like I did something foolishly awkward for being good to a stray cat.
why people say such things? Srinivas R
Brave Vacation.
GiphyI was home for my semester vacations. Complete family gathered under one roof of our native. It was evening and elders of family were sitting together outside hall and were discussing something that looked so important. The discussion was on it's heat or I say peak when I went there searching for my mother. Staying there for sometime I got to know that the topic of discussion was kids of neighborhood.
The discussion was something like "These days kid, they have forgotten moral values, they don't respect their elders decision. They roam out for complete night with other stupid boys & girls and lie about that home. They don't attend their classes, they expense money on illegal things, and more like that..."
The temper of the discussion was taking place in such a scene that at first someone else will get a thought either they don't have children or their children are total serene or role model staying all time in front of their eyes.
I don't know what happened with this idea in my mind, I interrupted their conversation. I have to tell you that it is considered a ill-manner to interrupt when elders at our place are in serious discussions. I probably have never done it before!
"Next, all eyes were at me, not for the interruption but what I said simply in a loud tone. What if, someone outside of our family will talk the same about your kids, Will you find it likewise interesting, funny or prestigious??" Suddenly all the noise and murmuring vanished. I continued, I too live at a different place, where you people are not present to observe me. Do you know that even I do the same stuff or as if that you are pretending that you don't know. Kids have to live life in accordance with the life of place. And things are not same everywhere. Things that looks wrong, may not be wrong. There are reasons for it. And, how could you judge someone and talk anything before knowing what is it."
Then I walked out from the place. That day on-wards no one enjoys about talking ill and judging behavior of neighbor or other kids of family. I don't know if they continue but I never found it again!