We are living in an age of information, where thousands of published articles with millions of words are flying by our eyes at such a rate anyone not born within the last 50 years would have a heart attack knowing how much free knowledge is available.
And then there are people who maybe didn't pay attention in reading class and didn't quite understand the assignment. It's not enough to read something, you need to think critically about it, and have the skills and processing power to understand what's being presented to you.
Still, it's funny to read about all the dummies you might come across.
"What is one thing a person has said to you that made you think ‘wow this person is an idiot’?"
You expect television to teach us a lot, right? What you don't always expect is that sometimes the television lies to us.
Now You're All Singing The Melody In Your Head...
"A work colleague coming in the day after a visit to the zoo telling us that panthers aren't really pink"
"I can almost hear the disappointment in their voice just from reading that"
Curse You, Perry The Platypus!
"My ex’s brother in full confidence said lava was 2 words. Tried to explain its 2 syllables, not words. I was the idiot apparently"
"...for context we were watching a phineas and ferb movie they were all on a chain over lava. Phineas tells them to let go of the cliff and Candace says something along the lines of “I have 1 word for you! LA-VA!” And then his brother looked at us and proudly said “that’s 2 words, dumb@ss”. He was/is notorious for having little to no common sense"
Still, you live out hope in this world that maybe there are intelligent people out there, willing to interact with us and offer us their wonderful insight into how intelligent the human race can be.
And then we meet these people.
Everything Has An Equal And Opposite, I Suppose
"That of course Cats and Dogs are opposites, like the opposite of up is down etc. And that of course they're not mammals..."
What Kind Of "Donation" Got You In To This School?
"In college a girl I knew thought the sun and the moon were the same thing. Like the sun turns into the moon at night. I was like how did you even graduate high school?"
That's Not No
"I know 10 people that have had covid and survived, there's 100% survival rate"
People Who Failed Geography Now Offering Their Thoughts On Geography
"Years ago a couple proudly told me they had been going to Spanish classes for a year because they wanted to immigrate to Brazil. When I pointed out that they speak Portuguese not Spanish, I got told that ALL of Latin America speaks Spanish!"
"Even bigger idiot: I thought everyone was in on the brown cows make chocolate milk joke. But apparently there was still some idiot who wholeheartedly believed it."
What Does She Think Women Do?
"A girl my friend knew said 'How do guys testicles store so much pee in them?'
"She was in her 20s"
...No Immediate Follow Up
"I asked my manager if I could go to the toilet. Me being a woman, I unfortunately bleed every month. I asked the first time and my manager said ‘wait’ and then I told him that I desperately need to go, very obviously hinting I am bleeding. He got the message, and was very aware I was on my period. He then said, “can you hold it?”.
We're Living In The Tablet Present
"While standing in the middle of Disney World and staring at a foldable paper map of the park in her own hands, my sister in law goes, "Why doesn't this map tell me where I am? These maps usually have a little arrow that says something like "You are here" so you know where you're at."
"You have to pay extra for the "Marauder's" feature."
Not...No, Not Those Kinds Of Bones...
"The government wants you to think we're running out of oil, we're not because it comes from bones. We could extract it from chicken bones".
"I was fascinated by how he had interpreted fossil fuels and then come to the most hilariously wrong conclusion."
Once Again, No Immediate Follow Up
“You know bones don’t bend, right? Then.. how does..” Girl I’m talking to proceeds to hold up her pinky finger and wiggle it a few times. “how do our fingers move like that?” Genuine confusion on this girls face. I didn’t know how to respond."
Dynamite Parenting. Really, Top Notch Work, Lady.
"Why should I be responsible for my son's late fees?"
"I dunno, lady. Maybe because he's 12 and can't get a job yet? Also there's the matter of the letter you and he signed when he got his library card that says you're responsible for any fines on the account, as his parent or legal guardian. Just a shot in the dark."
You know, maybe it's better there are people this ignorant out there?
...I don't know the reason, but there has to be one, right?
People Who Failed Science Now Offering Their Opinions On Science
"The first person I dated after my amputation, freaked out over it and said to stay away because they didn't want to catch what I had, as if amputations due to cancer are contagious. This was right when Myspace had started getting popular, and texting costed you like, 10cents per text."
"I told someone I had a biopsy done years prior for melanoma but it was benign. It meant I didn’t have skin cancer. He freaked out because we had messed around (no sex) and he thought I was going to give it to him."
Don't Assume Everything About A Person
"Since I have white skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes, that means there's no way I can be anything other than caucasian. I tried explaining the history of the Caribbean to her but she was adamant that anyone from the Caribbean or south of the border was tan/brown with no exceptions."
"I'm a white Cuban that's mostly spainard with at least a quarter black"
Time To Put Up A Want Ad: 'New Roommate Requested'
"My roomate burst into our living room in a total panic and said, “you guys, i’m really worried! My goldfish hasn’t come up for air in a really long time!”
"When we explained to him that fish breathe water through gills, his honest to god reach was “👁👄👁 what”
Beware The 5G
"I don't want to take the vaccine it will make me sterile"
"You are 65"
"Most people don't understand the difference between impotence and sterility...they think its the same thing. So he gets an ignorance participation trophy beside his idiot award."
"I have the strongest T-cells" apparently thats why he never gets sick and hasnt gotten covid. Dude comes into work sick all the time, he just doesnt acknowledge it. Now I cant remember exactly what he said but basically he makes it seem like hes a super human and his T-cells are literally better and strong that the rest of the human race"
Let's all pledge to read a book today.
Who's the dumbest person you've ever met and what did they do? Tell us all about it in the comments!
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Being a tour guide of any kind is sort of like being a parent to toddlers. And, as any toddler parent will tell you, they try to do three things simultaneously:
- Not listen to your directions.
- Get lost.
- Accidentally, but really on purpose, try to get themselves killed.
Now replace "toddler" with "full-grown adults" and you see the issues tour guides face on a regular basis.
Reddit user, [usernameredacted], wanted to know how things went wrong overseas when they asked:
"Tour guides of Reddit, what's the worst thing a tourist has ever done under your supervision?"
Can we all just agree that we should leave animals alone when they're out in their natural habitat? Please?
Don't Tick Off The Bulls
"I worked at a living history farm museum."
"I had a kid that was climbing on stuff the whole tour in the farm house and trying to get behind the Smith in the blacksmith shop during a demo."
"After the tour when people are allowed to roam the grounds, I hear his mom screaming and look over to the barn and this kid has climbed the fence into the field with our long horn oxen and is trying to poke them with a stick."
" I walk over and calmly told him to get out of the field before our lazy oxen decide they've had enough, but this jack off decides to look me in the eye and smack Ted on the butt with the stick like it's a riding crop."
"Ted, bless him, just kinda jumps a little and whips his head around with a WTF dude look on his face."
"But seeing as he's a long horn, he just wipes this kid out with one of his horns when he turned his head."
"Kid goes flying into the dirt and is having a melt down."
"Mom is freaking out. I'm like dude, get the hell out of the pen before Ted actually gets mad."
"So this kid is crying and trying to climb the fence out of the field and Bill, who has been watching this whole thing waits until the kid is almost over the fence and walks up to him and nudges him in the butt with his nose and pushes him off the top of the fence."
"It was everything I could do to keep from laughing."
"Kid was fine, Ted was fine, but the kid and his mom were promptly kicked out of the museum."
"Their dad and little sister were allowed to stay because she was well behaved and was just enjoying petting the goats at the petting zoo."
"So since the kid had to leave but his sister didn't there was a temper tantrum in the parking lot that could be heard all the way to the other side of the farm."
"But the oxen got some extra grain that night, so I guess they won in the end."- PtolemyShadowCrypto Bitcoin GIF by ProBit GlobalGiphy
"Tour guide at a university."
"Small group gets into our gardens where there's a big turtle pond."
"Girl gets excited and wants a close up of the largest snapping turtle."
"Girl loses her phone to the turtle and tries to get the university to buy her a new one."
"Girl was lucky she still has all her fingers..." - Bengmann
Yank, Yank, OW
"My cousin is a tourist guide and biologist, most of his tours are in Africa."
"He instructed his group of 20-25 people including kids not to wear any type of earrings or collars especially shiny stuff since they were about to go into a thick forest to try to see a bunch of animals."
"This is very important because 20-25 make a lot of noise which makes wild animals run away or hide, it's even worse if they're wearing shiny stuff they can spot from far away."
"Ok so this woman complains, decides to wear shiny earrings anyway, cousin tells her to get rid of them or she ain't coming with the group so she obeys but puts them on a bit later."
"Some species of monkeys in that area LOVE shiny stuff. They ripped the earrings from her ears."- shave_your_teeth_pls
Learn To Keep Your Hands To Yourself
"I was working on a tourist island in Australia when this man pulled out almost all the back feathers of a peacock because he wanted to keep one."
"He sneaked up behind it, and grabbed a huge handful and yanked them all out."
"He was immediately escorted off the island."
"The peacock had a huge bare patch and most of its beautiful feathers were gone :("- mugsandcoveveDance Dancing GIF by BBCGiphy
Punching Way Above Their Weight Class
"I had a guest, snorkeling try and grab the tail of a barracuda as he swam up behind it."
"Luckily I was able to hit the guest with a dive fin from the boat to stop him before he got ahold. If he had grabbed on, I’m sure he would have been ripped to pieces by that fish." - fkirwan82
You have to wonder what kind of people aren't going to listen to the tour guide. Honestly, it's not hard. Just don't do the thing they're telling you not to do.
Why Wouldn't You At Least Take A Swimming Lesson First?
"Former whitewater rafting guide."
"There's a calmer section of the river people can, if they choose to, hop out and swim through."
"They are wearing life jackets so you can just float through it."
"This woman decides she wants to try it and hops out."
"After she pops up she slowly tilts forward until just the back of her jacket is out of the water and she's completely still."
"After 5 or so seconds of this I start to realize this might not be intentional and paddle over and physically pick her head up above the water followed by her gasping for air."
"I haul her in the boat and ask what happened."
"She said she didn't know what to do as she'd 'never been submerged in water before'."
"1) why are you on a whitewater rafting trip?"
"2) why didn't your strategy involve moving your body?"- b771Giphy
Thankful For Teachers Every Day
"I used to work at a heritage site. It was an old military installation with a lot of remaining original structures (bunk beds, cafeteria equipment, computers etc.)."
"Everyday it was a constant effort to remind people (read: kids) NOT to jump on the beds, not to slam doors open, not to punch every button like it owes them money."
"The absolute worst was a group of kids on a school trip."
"Within the first ten minutes we're walking through the tech portion of the exhibit, where we had a wall lined with Burroughs large systems machines (B5000's), all behind this little fence about waist-high."
"I turn to demonstrate some of the pieces, and when I look back at the group one of them had jumped over the barrier, opened one of the units and started pulling out handfuls of digital tape from the reels inside."
"I just about jumped on the kid when their teacher did just that."
"She jumped the barrier, smacked the kids hands and took him outside."
"I immediately ended the tour and had them all refunded, as I couldn't imagine what else could happen."- sassymatty
But, of course, they don't listen.
And bad things happen.
You Tell Them What Would Happen, And Then It Happens
"I work at a brewery tap room and take people on brewery tours."
"During fermentation CO2 is produced and excess comes out through a run off pipe and into a water bucket."
"One of the attendees, who was being a pain and trying to be funny but nobody was laughing, asked me what the pipe was for, so I gladly explained."
"He then asked what would happen if he breathed it in... in disbelief of his stupidity I told him he would pass out/damage his brain, he then proceeded to grab the pipe and take a breath."
"He was then ejected and barred. Some people are just beyond belief."- tedandrassy
"Friend of mine does tours of whiskey museums in Dublin."
"Someone took a sh-t in one of the exhibition rooms."- Eoinoconn
You Get What You Deserve
"I work at the National Cathedral, and a tourist took a small votive candle, and lit their friend's hat on fire."
"It didn't spread or set off any alarms, but it got through most of his hat and almost caught his hair on fire."
"He was also really overreacting, and he threw his burned hat into the organ."
"The Cathedral suffered from earthquake damage in 2011, and we borrowed one of their ladders to get it down."-not_hacking12Fox Tv Fire GIF by Bob's BurgersGiphy
"You're trying to seduce me... aren't you?"
"Bit late to the party, but what the heck."
"I gave tours in the French Quarter in New Orleans for about a year, and I had this one drunk older woman who kept nip-slipping and trying to flirt with me as I was trying to talk."
"It was really uncomfortable and kept throwing off my focus, but thankfully she wandered off about halfway through the tour."- Throway9591
We like to live dangerously
"Ran after a bear cub trying to get a picture."
"Was astonished after I yelled at them and asked 'are they dangerous?'
'Yes they are'."
"Two days ago I warned a few people about an agitated moose up the trail and two of them got excited and ran towards it with cameras while I tried to explain why that was an awful idea."
"Tourists f*cking crave death I swear to god."- plantoyo
Maybe I'll listen next time
"Not a tour guide, just an idiot."
"About ten years ago, my grandma took me and my sister on what we decided to affectionately call an 'Old People Bus Tour' out west for a couple of weeks."
"Our parents decided to come along as well because it seemed fun, and it totally was."
"We went all over and saw some really amazing sights, but when we got to Arches National Park, for SOME unknown reason my Monkey Brain kicked in and went 'IMMA CLIMB IT!' as soon as we got to the entrance of the first path."
"Thankfully, it wasn't enormously dangerous, but it wasn't until I spontaneously scaled the bottom half of the arch and turned around to sit proudly looking at everything that I saw everybody's faces and it clicked that maybe I should climb back down and knock it off."
"I wish I could use the excuse that I was just a dumb kid, but I was in my mid 20s at the time."- MyLaundryStinksFall Climbing GIF by KletterRetterGiphy
How long have you got?
"I was a tour guide in hollywood for a few years."
"I cannot even begin to choose a story."- adhominem4theweak
Putting everyone in danger
"Tour guide here, there was this one guy who tried to swim in the ocean at Peggy’s cove."
"As some of you may know the currents are incredibly strong and I had warned everyone to not even go near the ocean."
"But this one moron didn’t listen and I had to hall his a** back to shore."
"We both almost drowned."
Mind the gap
"So the tourist was in front of the tour guide."
"He said SHUT YOUR’E F*CKING MOUTH UP to a woman."
"I think was on a vacation with her child and she only yawned before She said SIR DO NOT SAY THAT INFRONT OF MY CHILD and she smacked him and he fell of the cliff and almost died."
"I went down and I said Sir are uh you okay?"
"He said NO IM NOT F*CKING OKAY YOU FUCKING DUMBASS."- f*ckboymigeee
Why do American tourists get such a bad rap?
"Not the worst on here but still bad."
"In between years one and two of uni, I took a job in a musem showing people around talking about the stuff on show."
"The group was behaving mostly ok, but this one American family, trying to touch things that out not be touched."
"And just being loud and obnoxious."
"I think I have it all under contorl untill we enter the Gree/Roman rooms."
"We have a replica Roman Legionary armor, weapon sheild and stick which held all the equipment."
"All in all its about 45KG (about 7stone) in weight for everything."
"Now this can be tried on to show people what Roman Legionaires had to go thorough on a march. we stopped to let those that wanted to, to try it on. now it was very clear that the dad, think Gun toting Texan from the Simpsons, was far to large for the armor, but i didn't say anything as even if he and his kin have been d*cks."
"I don't want to be rude."
"Anyway after it becomes clear even the helmet wont fit he gets moody and just drops it to the floor, lucky another group member caught it in time, and wanders of to 'look' at the real weapons that had been revoved from dig sites."
" Now one of the pride and joys of this museum is a fully intact Roman short sword with battle nicks showing that it had been used in battle, now these are far and few between, so anyone thats found is hightly exsiting for the Achaeologist that uncovers it."
"Anyway I am giving my speech about how far the Legionnaires had to march in a day and the set up of camps and the like, when there is a loud SMASH from the sword case,followed by the alarm going off."
" This dumb American had tried to prize open the case to get a better 'look' at it."
"There's lots of yelling as guards rush in."
" The damn fool still tried to pick it up but when he saw the guard rushing him he dropped it back into the stand THANK THE GODS IT DIDN'T BRAKE."
"He and his family were promptly kicked out and band for life but not before he offered to buy the sword."
"'I'll give y'all $20 for the thing and maybe we can for get the glass'."
"$20 you heard read it right."
"These things if sold, they really shouldn't be, go for 10 of thousands of pounds."- Emrys91·3y agoGIF by The Last TouristGiphy
When you Gotta go...
"Cave tour guide."
"South American man pisses on the floor during total darkness."- ZootZephyr
"Would you like to ride in my beautiful balloon?"
"Not a tour guide."
"Went on a Hot Air Balloon Tour of the Temecula Valley and our tour guide told us this story he experienced."
"For those that don't know, Hot Air Balloons have ZERO safety features for the passengers."
"You can fall or jump out very easily."
"So our guide was on a tour and somebody jumped out of the balloon."
"Turns out he had a parachute on."
"Don't remember exactly what happened to him, but he did get in legal trouble, of course."-
Who's the real animal here?
"I was on a trip to Thailand and we were at this Night Safari place, it wasn't a legit safari thank goodness, and we were all on the tram type thing and we went into the hyenas cage and this guy jumps out and tries to take a selfie with it."
"Luckily they were just fed and weren't as wild as the ones in the wild."
"He ran back as a few started to get up and yip."
"Afterward he was kicked out with no refund as you would expect."
"Some people just blow my mind."- SirDankiusthe lion king laughing GIFGiphy
Just follow the rules next time you're in a tour group?
It's that simple.
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Humans managed to dominate all of the other species across the globe primarily due to one key factor: a large brain with a frontal lobe.
Nonetheless, humans are uniquely dumb on so many occasions. One is left considering such far-reaching stupidity an outright disrespect for the gift of that brain, with all of its potential.
But at least humans are smart enough to accept their dumbness. They invent items and services to keep everyone safe and secure, despite people's seeming insistence on screwing everything up.
Or, humans are so dumb that something continues to be around despite obvious solutions that we insist on not pursuing.
Whatever underlies it, the outcome is the same: our world is full of things that do not need to be here
Heel-Hook asked, "What exists only because humans are dumb?"
Out of the Kitchengordon ramsey GIFGiphy
Worst Cooks in America.
I literally found out about this today.
Some guy decided to try to add more flavor into his steak (I think) by adding butter. This is a good idea, but it would have been a better idea if he took the butter out of the wrapping before putting it into the pan.
Disclaimer before UFC fight: this may include violence.
Well yeah it better freaking contain violence, that's what I'm here for.
No swimming sticker on places that are physically not possible to swim at.
Yeah they're for the people who are too dumb to realize it would be suicidal to try and swim somewhere, so really they're necessary because I saw a guy hop in to a river from a bridge over a wier and then go over it. He held onto the "no swimming" sign to stand on the railing to jump over. He was fine, but only because the water level up top was lower than usual.
Not at Home....
'Don't try this at home' warnings.
Let's be fair, the show Mythbusters needed this. Some of their things came from stupid people or were ideas that could possibly be recreated at home.
DummyDummy GIF by memecandyGiphy
"Never re-use a condom."
Just turn it inside out. dummy.
End of Life
A lot of senseless deaths. Everyone who ever died of a preventable cause of death.
Less then 30....
Congressmen with 30+ years in office.
I guess that depends on perspective. The least corrupt and most honest person in Congress has been there that long.
Not even safe either. I have a scar from a pair. Go through skin just as well.
War. HOO. What is it good for?
Corporate entities not in the war-zone.
Just saying this before someone else will say it.
the cycleexcited news GIFGiphy
Media, modern day as we know it. 24 hour news cycles, censorship, click bait, all of it.
The "caution: hot beverage" labels.
The dumb ones in this case are companies like McDonald's that permanently disfigured a customer with super hot coffee, then did everything they could to make people think she was at fault.
All of the Above
Climate change, sea level rise, depletion of fisheries, whaling, War on Drugs, Global War on Terror, war, genocide, racism, wars of religion...
Religions. Sorry if this makes anyone mad, but aren't religions made to explain things we can't understand?
It can do more than that. It brings many hope and purpose, and then there's always the imbeciles who justify hate with it.
It wasn't, but we like to view the politics of all history through the lens of today's culture. sure, maybe a peasant's life revolved totally around their faith-but that doesn't mean the primary purpose of the priests was to take his crops. before travel was easy and most people could read and write, the Church was the power and the social structure of most of Europe. but to say that it's history was wholly one of a desire for control was disingenuous.
The Best Dopesad leonardo dicaprio GIFGiphy
The Darwin awards.
Peanut allergy labels on peanut butter jars.
Donald Trump's presidency.
I'm not surprised anymore. 46% voted for that guy in the first place despite all the crap he'd done before. I swear if he wins again I give up on America.
This isn't lettuce?fruit of the loom GIF by NBAGiphy
I found warning labels on fruit salad saying "Warning contains fruits."
The loading progress bar was made because the people brought for testing thought something was wrong.
Yeah, providing feedback that the program is running and hasn't crashed is an important part of UI design.
Ingredients labels on flour, sugar, raisins, etc.
It's because of standards more than for stupid people. There aren't many people wondering which ingredients sugar contains (spoiler: it contains 100% sugar), but all products intended for human consumption are required to have an ingredient lists.
Putting the ingredients on items which are just a single ingredient may be a bit ridiculous, but it doesn't harm anyone and it's probably better than coming up with possibly confusing exceptions for that regulation.
It's for Health.
In the U.S. at least.
"You understand what I'm saying? We knew we couldn't make it illegal to be either against the war or black, but by getting the public to associate the hippies with marijuana and blacks with heroin. And then criminalizing both heavily, we could disrupt those communities," zomboromcom
BACK UP FOOLS!!!
Fences and railings at the Grand Canyon.
Thing is, the visitors center is right up at the side of a freaking cliff. A several hundred foot high cliff. Sheer rock, no incline. And yet, on that day, I could not fight my polite urge to let people be themselves. People were literally getting on top of the rock railing and doing poses for Instagram, dancing, jumping, doing handstands. People are freaking stupid.
Meow Timecucumbers GIFGiphy
Cats videos. I agree that cats are funny, but when it's the most popular thing on the internet, it makes me think that people aren't interested in self-development.
Yeah the majority of wikiHow articles are useful, but every now and then there's one that's hilariously dumb.
Comedy gold a while ago, just from a wikihow.
In the Can
Canned hunts, climate-controlled hunting pods, and panic rooms.
The education system. Literally.
Dear Prep H....
Certain Warning labels....
"Dear Preparation H, I love your product and it has made me feel so much better; but boy does it taste bad!"
We is Dumb
Math: we're literally incapable of the kind of information processing and abstraction needed to deal with things directly. So, we came up with systems of symbols and rules for manipulating them that allow us to sidestep our cognitive limitations. Also, the lottery (unless it's a charity lottery or something).
Bags of nuts, vegetables, meat, etc. that say "gluten free."
Those labels can be pretty helpful for people with severe allergies. The "gluten free" labels typically indicate that the product hasn't come in contact with any gluten products at any point during processing, such as on shared machinery. It doesn't matter for most of us, but guarantees can be important for people who can't tolerate even trace amounts of gluten.
Everything & Everyone....
Kanye West's presidential campaign
The modern day Flat Earth movement (even the ancient Greeks knew it was round bro)
You (the person reading this not OP), I've met your mom.
Issues with Shade
Racism, not just for the whole BLM, it is known that genetic diversity is the key for species survival, and we are looking waaaay too much at what shade of black, Brown or white a person has.
Also, "race" is one of those things that people won't give importance until some one mentions it.
In the books....diva read GIFGiphy
From the biblical perspective, clothing.
Protip: if a snake starts to talk to you, you probably shouldn't eat the food it suggests you eat.
The word flammable.
The original word was inflammable, from the word inflame. But people thought it meant non-flammable. So the word flammable was created.
It's a good word because it keeps innocent children from being burnt because of their dumb parents.
System Shockelectrocuted home alone 2 lost in new york GIFGiphy
The charge of an electron. Benjamin Franklin had a 50/50 chance and he guessed wrong. This has made teaching electronics harder to do for the rest of eternity.
Scientific Understanding is Only Half the Battle
"Measles. In the 2000's, measles was nearly eradicated. However, because of antivaxxers communities, it went on a rise again. In the same vein, wear a goddamn mask people."
"I should also mention measles was always very prevalent in other nations, so I'm just referring to the US in this comment."
Because Yes, Someone Has Tried That
"warning labels" -- Ocean_Beast
"This was exactly what I came to comment. My most favorite warning label was on a baby stroller. 'Remove child before folding!'" -- kaismama
"I found this on a hair dryer: 'Do not use while sleeping'" -- MEScout
"My fav warning label was my coffee maker saying 'do not hold above peoples head'" -- twolimbooctopus
Food Bibs, Not all of us can be like Hannibal Burress and have the confidence to not drop or spill our food on the way to our mouths.
"Lawyers. Source: am lawyer." -- fendaar
"Even without dumb people I think we'd still need some lawyers to handle things like contract law or patent law." -- adeon
"Oh really? Name every law" -- Darkmaster666666
1 Foot Doughnut Claims
"NOT REAL SIZE Logos on posters."
"I used to work in a grocery store that had a bakery, and we had a poster that was hanging from the ceiling with the bakery's logo and a few pastries beside it."
"We had to reprint the poster with a message under it that said, 'Not real life size' because some Karen got mad then when she got her donut and it wasn't 1 ft. in diameter."
"She complained for 'False advertising' and corporate had to send a new poster."
"Pugs" -- Lil-Sleepy-A1
"Have you ever seen the skeleton of one of those monstrosities?" -- zookeeper4980
"If you keep a pug in good shape, it will breathe easier" -- maxipad2008
In Case You Had Other Interpretations
"The label on milk bottles that says it contains dairy. If I'm buying milk I'd kinda hope it contains dairy?" -- thebibarista
"Allergy info: This peanut butter contains peanut products. Gee thanks" -- Heel-Hook
"Disclaimer before UFC fight: this may include violence. Well yeah it better f***in contain violence, that's what I'm here for" -- ZoFarZoGood
A Momentous Accident
"Penicillin, because someone didn't clean the Petri dish" -- drempire
"Worked out though" -- Heel-Hook
"Or a cantaloupe" -- naivemetaphysics
It Doesn’t Have to Be This Way
"The [virus] death toll in the US" -- Snow_Da_92
"How is the US media reporting the country's response for [virus]" -- Heel-Hook
"Pretty much like you'd expect. The left says everyone's stupid for not wearing masks, the right says everyone's stupid for wearing masks...."
"It's a sh** show....." -- Snow_Da_92
Who Was The Last to Leave?
"Africanized honey bees, a.k.a. killer bees."
"Some scientist accidentally let out bees and now they have the intent to kill anything in site. Worse than wasps my opinion."
"In the call center I work at part of our greeting is that we have to thank customers for the number of years they've been with the company because we legit had people complain about us not doing that."
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Some people are smart, but a whole lot of them are dumb af. We see it all the time, and it's sometimes truly a wonder to behold. Not Knowable readers though, y'all are a cut above.
spaghetti-soup asked: What made you think: "People are f*cking stupid?"
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.