santa claus GIF
Since it was empty, I had left some equipment there overnight. When I came back the next morning, I opened the door to the bedroom where my tools were and there was a three foot tall creepy looking Santa statue just inside the door. It hadn't been there the day before, and there was no other sign the owners had been there overnight. Of course it startled me, and I may have yelled a bit. Turned out the stupid was activated by sound and started "dancing" and playing "He sees you when you're sleeping."
Tap. Tap. Tap.
My roommate had a bit of a mental breakdown. We were at the high pressure end of semester, she had stopped eating much and had lost a lot of weight. She was talking about dropping out even though she'd worked her whole life to get where we were.
So one day I come home from class and find her in the living room, tap dancing. I had to take a minute to register what I was even seeing. I'm like "hey... how are you feeling? Is that tap dancing you're doing..?" turns out her mom had come from another state to support her, and being a dance teacher, had taught her a tap dance to take her mind off things.
On the Trail....
A man in a leather dog mask exchanging a duffle bag with another man in nice clothes. I was biking on a local trail and passed this. Idk what was happening to this day. Just really triggered my flight instinct. There were just too many odd details. One of them waved at me. Idk it was the embodiment of a cursed image.
Good Kitty...
cat GIF by sheepfilmsGiphyMy cat full on using the toilet for number 2. This is not something I've ever trained him to do, nor is it anything I've seen him come close to accomplishing since.
Buffet... Away...
I once saw a lady in a drive through line open a package of tartar sauce and proceed to drink the entire thing like she was doing shots. After checking the nutritional guide, I realized I just watched someone drink almost 400 calories in about 2 seconds.
I was a server at red lobster and during endless shrimp it was normal for the "larger" population to take shots of drawn butter.
"These were teriyaki."
During my short stint as a waiter, I walked in on the cook hosing down a plate of meatballs with the dishwasher wand. I had gone in search of news of the lost spaghetti dinner. I raised an eyebrow. She said "These were teriyaki." I nodded curtly and left her to it.
Ladies Please.
The remains of a bachelorette party in my hotel room after I went out with the groom and his friends for his bachelor party. Women were passed out, women were throwing up. Sliced limes and booze were all over the room. And porn was playing on the TV, rented by the women—I had to pay for it when we checked out.
Be Gone!
the exorcist father merrin GIFGiphyMy boss asking Jesus to cast out a demon from another employee.
Not my Problem....
As a teenager, I briefly worked at a childcare center located in a Baptist church. Not a Baptist, just needed a job. One of the previous employees unexpectedly passed away right before I started.
I walked into the office to clock-in for my very first day and the priest of the church was talking to the childcare director.
I assume the two of them were talking about funeral plans for this employee when the priest said," I don't care, this isn't my freaking funeral," right when I walked into the office. When they noticed me walk in the door, they both turned bright red and were silent.
Sooo weird.
COME AT ME BRO!
Matthew Mcconaughey Chest Thump GIF by Paramount MoviesGiphyAt a former job. Walked into the smoking area to find a dude-bro-type coworker giving himself an extremely animated pep talk: full on chest thumping, fist bumping himself, high fives to no one, all while shouting "YEAH! YOU GOT THIS BRO! HELL YEAH! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! COME AT ME BRO! YEAH! GOTTA GET AT 'EM!!" we held eye contact as i back-stepped thru the door and slowly shut it. never spoke of it, but i tried to avoid speaking to him even before this incident.
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