Gender transition is a lot more complicated than pop culture usually makes it out to be (there is no such thing as a single "The Surgery", for example [and don't ask trans people about their surgical history if you're not their medical provider. That's a really weird thing to do.]) and not all transgender people will choose to, or be able to, transition. Sometimes transition looks like simply asking the people around you to use a different name and different pronouns to refer to you, and sometimes it might look like starting hormone replacement therapy or seeking gender-affirming surgeries—or any number of other things.
People who do transition tend to notice big differences in the way that the people around them act, and not just the people who knew them before and during their transitions. A lot of the ways strangers treat you are based on split-second judgements based on the way you look, dress, or behave, so changing those things can significantly change the way you're treated.
If you're interested in some of those often drastic and fascinating changes people noticed in others' behavior throughout their transitions, keep reading.
Reddit user TyDye386 asked:
"Trans people of Reddit, what was the biggest 'culture shock' you noticed after transitioning to your gender?"
Personal Space
"Almost no touching by non family members."
"When I was living as a woman they would give hugs, touch my shoulder or arms, even strangers when it wasn't always appreciated."
"As a man now they will shake your hand nothing else."
- Dutch_Rayan
One Of The Guys
"The difference between being friends with people of same and different genders is shocking."
"Now that I'm out to my friends my guy friends treat me much differently. I'm one of them now, and it's a lot different than being friends with guys as a girl, or even being friends with girls as a girl."
- MyChemicalFoemance
"I’m curious how did they treat you differently if you could elaborate? I’m fascinated on what changes you noticed from them."
- tylrss
"They (my male friends) have been much more relaxed around me, they've been considerably more comfortable making fun of me (jokingly) and also when it comes to like physical contact and stuff my female friends are much less touchy with me now that I've transitioned socially where as the guy friends are generally more touchy with me, both in roughhousing and standard like platonic affection. So that was interesting."
"They're definitely more open around me, they tend to talk about their girlfriends more around the other guys vs with the girls. The girls still talk about their partners with me though so that hasn't changed lmao"
- MyChemicalFoemance
"Sorry, Bud"
"People weren’t joking when they said Canadians use the word “bud” a lot when talking to boys."
- nightingalegrey15
"Congrats on your transition to Canadian!"
- Error707
"trans-can"
- miami-architecture
"On the flip side, as a recently out, currently transitioning, and in almost no way 'passing' trans woman, getting people to not call me that is a challenge and a half, especially if they knew me before."
"I literally want to get a soundboard of that clip from Hamilton where he aggressively says 'CALL ME "SON" ONE MORE TIME!!'"
-Secretly_Pineapple
"All I can think of is Terrance and Phillip though."
"'I'm not your buddy, pal' 'I'm not your pal, guy!' 'I'm not your guy, bud!'"
- rainshadow425
friendship buddies GIF by South Park Giphy*Nods*
"male here. suddenly no one gives a sh*t about me, i feel totally anonymous. No one makes any comments about me or double takes or smiles or anything. I’ll get a nod but that’s it."
- Bonesaucer
"Nods in agreement*"
- Mango Weasel
"Welcome to being a man. We have jackets."
- FrostyByte62
"More importantly, we have pockets."
- Zenki95
"The pockets are amazing. They are huge and numerous."
- Bonesaucer
"You Should Wear..."
"People telling me what I should be wearing. Like I was at work one time in a super market a customer was like. 'So when are you going to start wearing a dress.' 'I worked on the freezer aisle so ... never? There are literally other women here right now, none of them are wearing a dress?'"
"Honestly the biggest surprise for me when I came out to all my friends. They were round for RPG night and I told them. They were all like 'OK cool' apart from one who yelled 'CALLED IT!' I had it in my head that there was going to be this hugely negative experience. That bit happened when I told my family. But you know what they say. You don't get to choose who you are related too."
- Artsygem87
One Of The Girls
"The amount of women in my family, my female friends, and even female acquaintances now confiding every single deep dark detail of their life in me, or just openly talking about their every bodily function."
"I became 'One of the girls' way before I was comfortable with it."
- O_My_Goshness_No
"Yea one of the big parts of sisterhood- and why female friend groups are so vicious to one of their own being hurt- is because we know everything about each other."
"There are very few boundaries drawn between women, family members especially."
- h0n3yst
My Behavior Didn't Change
"I'm an autistic man mid-20s."
"Not being perfectly polite (like, down to the non-autistic standard I guess) and even a little blunt is now considered 'honesty' rather than 'rudeness' or 'talking back'."
- tollthedead
A Spectrum Of Reactions
"I'm a nonbinary trans man. I think the biggest culture shock for me has been how personally some of the women around me take my transition."
"I have been pleasantly surprised that most people of either gender are chill with my trans-ness."
"But I've found that of the people who take issue with it, women are much more vocal about it. Like, men will just pointedly not use my pronouns if they have an issue, but some of the women in my family literally try to guilt trip me about it and women who barely know me tell me not to "mutilate" my chest. Which made me realize fully that women actually do see their breasts as part of their body and losing them would be a loss like losing a leg whereas to me my sense of self starts underneath them to the point that lying on my stomach is frustrating because I feel like my chest can never actually touch whatever surface I'm laying on. So despite the comment being rude, it's surprisingly validating."
- anarchomoth
You Like That Thing? Prove It.
"I'm a game developer and probably know more about video games than most people. As a guy if I said I was a fan of this or that series it would basically be taken uncritically. Now, as a woman, in groups of mostly men when I say 'I really like Metal Gear Solid' there's a weirdly high incidence of dudes feeling the need to quiz me to prove that I'm a 'real' fan."
"I mean catcalls and generally not being as safe in public also sucks, but we all knew about that stuff. The weird part was just not being taken seriously anymore on stuff I'm actually quite knowledgeable on."
"Edit: The handful of replies to this doubting these experiences are a case study in irony. Way to prove the point."
- brainwarts
Finding Community
"Honestly the transgender/nonbinary culture on its own is so much cooler than i expected. transitioning turned out to be a treat when it allowed me to make friends with all these gorgeous, stylish queer people that support me and let me be who I am."
- Mysterious_Bite_7394
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
We all spend our formative years trying to figure out who we are. Who we think we are actually determines the subjects we take, the things we become fans of, and the friends we make.
This is especially true in high school. Whether it's because of who we already are, or because of labels others gave us, we all fit into different cliques and groups.
Being studious, I fit in well with the honors crowd. My tendency to start new clubs, as well as become a part of already existing ones, also earned me the unofficial title of "all-around joiner."
Curious about these stereotypes, Redditor MountEverest14 asked:
"What high school stereotype did you fit into?"
Now You See Him, Now You Don't
"The military brat."
"I showed up for a year, sometimes less, and then disappeared again and never spoke to anyone from the school ever again."
– FormalMango
The Quiet One
"I was so quiet I was marked absent from a study hall class for nearly a whole semester. That I actually attended and never missed."
"Got pulled into dean's office for it and it got rectified there."
"I grew up in a household where I basically had to live as a be seen not heard...but got too good at it and basically became never seen or heard Milford school "least seen on campus" winner."
– Tee_hops
Unnotcied
"Background actor #4"
– FanciiFrog
The Typical "Nerd"
"Nerd:
- Dungeons and Dragons
- Virgin
"Yeah..."
– AmeripeanBoi
Casper The Invisible Ghost
"Ghost. I was the one who no one knew after going to school together for four years.
I've changed, sometimes I actually participate in life now."
– ofsquire
The Everyman
"The happy go-lucky kid that could hang out with the popular kids, the sporty kids, the stoners and the nerds. Basically a social butterfly."
– thunderfart_99
High School Chameleon
"I was the definition of a floater."
"I was equally loved (and probably hated) across all the stupid cliques. I was an art kid, an ESL misfit, a stoner/skater, I was cool with the jocks, with the nerds... My girlfriend was in the orchestra, my homies were in detention. It was a mess of a journey, but I made it."
– monstersommelier
Non - Spiderman
"the andrew garfield peter parker minus the hot girlfriend and cool super powers"
– ItsDocL
The Tag-Along Nomad
"The new kid. I went to 7 high schools in 3 states. My mum married an old man who didn’t know where he wanted to live"
– 2muchonreddit
Some people discovered who they were in high school. Others discovered who they were not. The good news about high school is, who you are then isn't who you have to be now. Be who you are, and live your best life!
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
People Divulge Which Stereotypically 'Feminine' Things Men Should Be Encouraged To Do
There is no question that men are socialized differently. In fact, men are often taught not to act a certain way or take part in certain activities to avoid reprisal from other men... for being considered feminine.
Being considered "feminine" is one of the worst sins a man can commit socially. It's such an arbitrary perception but it influences how men behave. How many men out there would love to paint their nails or wear nice clothes and be well groomed without other people thinking that they're "gay?" Plenty.
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor pwindlier asked the online community,
"What's a "feminine" thing that men should be encouraged to do too?"
"Skin care."
"Skin care. I don't think anyone wants cracked skin. Dry, itchy, and painful."
NoSkill06
Amen! Taking care of your skin will pay dividends.
"Even in countries..."
"Taking parental leave. Even in countries which offer it, parental leave is still overwhelmingly taken by mothers."
todjo929
This is so important. Children should have time with both of their parents.
"Bake. Trust me. Learn to bake. It can only benefit you."
GargantuanCake
It amazes me the amount of people who can't even follow recipes when they're literally written out for you.
"Therapy."
"Therapy. Complimenting their friends."
[deleted]
Don't forget crying when they're upset!
"File their nails. A woman will appreciate it."
Zealousideal
Filing is what stopped me from biting and clipping super short.
"Moisturizing..."
"Moisturising their face and wearing sunscreen."
Aries82
Wear sunscreen! It will protect you from skin cancer. You're welcome.
"My boyfriend helped..."
"Sewing basics. My boyfriend helped finish my Halloween costume for me while I was at work and it saved us so much time that we actually made it to the party on time."
bmclean2013
Drag queens are way ahead of you!
"Not washing..."
"Not washing the dirtiest part of your body because you're afraid people will think it's gay is maybe one of the most closeted things there is."
dj405
The day I learned that some men out there think that washing their butts is gay is the day I just about gave up on the human race.
"Exfoliate..."
"Exfoliate your feet. No offense guys, but your feet look disgusting."
limbodog
I recommend this to everyone. The first time I went to the nail salon and had a pedicure changed my world.
"Learn to dance."
"Learn to dance. Women appreciate dancing with a man that actually knows what he’s doing."
FargonIcehole
Something that anyone can appreciate! Get out there on the dance floor and let loose!
There are some good ones here but I must stress once again that men should feel okay to talk about emotions and cry. There's nothing masculine about repressed emotions leading to breakdowns and therapy.
Have some observations of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Certain countries just develop a reputation with the rest of the planet.
Sometimes it's earned, but sometimes it's way off base.
So what about Australia?
Are the rest of the Earth's stereotypes about the land down under fact or fiction?
Redditor Phrince_Prillip asked:
"Non-Australians, what's the first thing that comes to your head when you think of Australia?"
Mr. Dundee
"A voice in my head saying 'You call that a knoif?'"
- Flaky-Fellatio
"Love the pronunciation of the word 'Knoife'."
- Phrince_Prillip
"That's not a knoife. THIS is a knoife."
- MadnessPersonified
Giphy"I hate that my answer was kangaroos."
"I know more about Australia but f'king kangaroos pops up first."
- yankiigurl
"AUSTRALIA=KANGAROOS"
- Zgirl333
"Kangaroos, yes. But specifically that kangaroos are just buff donkeys."
- Torshii
GiphyFood?
"Answering honestly, the first word that popped into my head when I read your question was vegemite."
- ReadyTadpole1
"Now I want some Vegemite."
- Fabulous_Parking66
"Please don't make the mistake everyone makes. Remember, it's not chocolate. This has been the Australian Government Department of Vegemite Health and Safety."
"Funded by the Australian Government Canberra."
- ProbablyNotYourMum
"If you are a foreigner, the first time you eat vegemite, it should be spread so thin that it is a light brown smear. Half a pea size might be too much for one piece of bread."
"Now if you are an aussie and still do that amount, you are weird."
- Theosie
GiphyR.I.P. G.B.R.
"The Great Barrier Reef. It’s a dream of mine to see it one day."
- macaronsforeveryone
"Better book yr ticket soon…"
- BandicootPlastic5444
"I guess my dream is dead in the water, literally."
- macaronsforeveryone
"People say it's all dead but there's still an enormous amount of living reef to be seen. It's definitely worth going to."
- philjorrow
GiphySouthern Hemisphere
"Summer during end of the year, December."
- ixhejehdbejeh
"For whatever reason, we still play all the old Christmas songs. even White Christmas, when it's summer and like 40°C (104° F) outside."
- rawker86
"Christmas on the beach is sensational."
Crikey
"Steve Irwin."
- Ok-Chocolate5893
"When I was a kid it was my life goal to meet Steve Irwin, I was obsessed with the man. When he passed I was absolutely inconsolable for days."
"Also, does anyone remember the episode where he lays with his dog [Sui] before she passes? I've been trying to find the clip and was never able to."
"No idea why I want to make myself cry but it was a really touching moment."
- la-bano
"Bless that wonderful person."
"We miss him, my eyes just watered from thinking about him, he was my first ever celebrity death, and I was devastated as a young boy."
- Sir_Admiral_Chair
GiphyChomp!
"Crocodiles."
- Deana-Marie
"Ooh! Saltwater crocodiles!! I'd forgotten how big they can get."
- pennyraingoose
Giphy🎵 You better run, you better take cover...🎶
"Men at Work’s 'Down Under' automatically started playing in my head when I read the word Australia."
- Jaded195
GiphyChanged Perception
"German here, now living in Australia."
"Before: heavy drinkers, kangaroos and koalas."
"Now: Huntsman spiders, bushfires, flooding and heavy fines for everything."
- drschnaps
"Twas an early morning after a big night with my mates. Everyone was sleeping, and I got up from the couch to go to the toilet or whatever."
"I came back to witness a chunky Huntsman spider walking across the tiled floor, toward my friend's bedroom door."
"I could hear its footsteps."
‐ PHILOSOMATIQA
"The big spiders are fine, it’s the tiny ones that will kill you."
- My-Witty-Username
A lot of animals made the list, but koalas, echidna and wallabies did not.
Did anything else synonymous with Australia get forgotten?
What do you think when you hear Australia?
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
People Share The Stereotypes About Mental Illness That They Hate Most
Living with mental illness is incredibly difficult. Nearly one in five U.S. adults live with a mental illness (52.9 million in 2020), according to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH).
Given that the number is so high, you'd expect the national conversation to have worked out a lot of its kinks–and you'd be right.
But this isn't to say that it's perfect.
Mental health services are in dire need of funding. Additionally, many American citizens find that access to mental health services is out of reach.
And don't get us started on all the stereotypes.
Actually, yes, why don't we get started on those?
People shared their thoughts after Redditor Accident_Gg asked the online community:
"What stereotypes about mental illness piss you off?"
"People are often surprised..."
"I have schizophrenia. Hoooooo boy. People are often surprised when they learn about my condition. But you hold down a job? You live by yourself? How could you possibly have schizophrenia?"
crash----
To which this person replied:
"The fact that people ignore that, like everything in life, it's not black or white, there are diferent grades and tonalities."
frickmanHD
"It's a rollercoaster..."
"That presenting ‘symptoms’ are consistent. It’s a rollercoaster, a dice roll every day, limited spoons, different triggers."
toadstoolparty
To which this person replied:
"Absolutely. Some days my anxiety will be almost nonexistent, some will have it just buzzing in the background, and other days it will be so bad I’m hard pressed to go an hour without starting another spiral into panic. Sometimes it’s heavily reliant on issues around me, sometimes I’ll just be on edge for no apparent reason."
"I’ve gone months without serious anxiety episodes, then something happens and I spiral for days, a week, even a month. It doesn’t have to be at a consistent level for me to know I still have anxiety."
Lunawolf424
"That all people..."
"That all people with mental illness are either crazy or violent."
EchoEquani
To which this person replied:
"Agreed. Or when a character is suddenly revealed go be 'crazy' in a thriller as a twist to make them the villain. When its revealed that the character takes medication and the music turns ominous, you know you're in for a ride."
rosewoodlan
"People with autism..."
"People with autism have magical powers."
rrickitickitavi
To which this person replied:
"Autism in movies: I am able to solve mysteries and know the origin of the universe, autism makes me a genius."
"Autism in me: Wanna talk about light aircraft?"
4d5ASCP
"It's not like..."
"That you’re 'selfish' if you just want to be alone. It’s not like I’m having a bad day and would rather just isolate. Nah, must be selfish! Drives me nuts."
BurghFinsFan
To which this person replied:
"And yet the minute you ask for support, you're bringing others down with your mood...can't bloody win sometimes."
Welshgirlie2
"I'm not sad all the time."
"That people with depression are sad all the time and never experience joy or that if they look happy, they're faking it. Totally false. I am depressed but I still have moments of happiness. I'm not sad all the time. It's more that my baseline is sad-ish. However, little things can still bring me joy. I'm not faking smiles."
ZipZapZapia
To which this person replied:
"Hell, my depression manifests less as sadness and more as emptiness. Like, I can fill my life cup with color, any color and it will all drain out eventually. Sometimes I have the energy to keep filling the cup and sometimes I just don't."
Reaverx218
"If you're depressed..."
"If you're depressed, just open the curtains and let SUNLIGHT in!"
Tommegunn1
To which this person replied:
"Sunlight has been proven to help with people's moods and mindsets, but it's far from the only influence on whether or not someone's depressed."
OldSoulRobinson
"That people with mental illness..."
"That people with mental illness automatically are creative and talented. It’s a weird kind of fetishizing mental illness that seems gross."
santichrist
To which this person replied:
"I'm kind of envious of people that can harness their mental illness in a way. The tortured genius and all that."
"I can only be creative when I've got my depression under some control. When it's bad I'm totally useless. I can barely get out of bed, can just manage to hold down a job."
Stander1979
"That it can be solved..."
"That it can be solved/cured with medication (yes it can be a tool to help, but it will not 'fix' me)."
raccooncandy
To which this person replied:
"Yes, the idea that medication and therapy can and will fix everything. Not quite true, even though one or both can help with something."
IfThisIsToEndInFire
As you can see, while the national conversation on mental illness has improved significantly in the last few decades, there is still much work to do!
Have some frustrations of your own? Feel free to share them with us in the comments below!
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.