Redditor irish-springs wanted to hear about which norms in life feel very outdated, so they asked:
"What are some social norms that are pretty f**king weird if you think about it?"
I'm used to odd behaviors.
So I doubt I'll be shocked by this list... well, maybe.
Sorry Bob...
Roses Funeral GIF by Un si grand soleilGiphy"Spending so much for a funeral. Uncle Bob is dead, a $1200 coffin or a $100 coffin is the same for him."
8champi8
"Funerals are just weddings with really muted colors and a few extra sad people."
Oseirus
"Paying tens of thousands of dollars to bury corpses in the f**kin' ground."
ieatsthap***y
"It's even worse: we are not burying in the ground. That would be better. We are paying to embalm corpses so they are preserved for a long time, in wooden/metal boxes, using valuable space."
"Modern embalming techniques can preserve a corpse for a long time. If we were simply burying them in the ground and letting them decompose, it would be way, way better."
IWishIHavent
We Hear You!
"I feel like too many people talk on speakerphone. Do you remember when conversations were private?"
kellykellyculver
"I live in a cul de sac and a neighbor has their phone hooked up to the car Bluetooth. I can hear the phone ringing while calling someone and I can hear the entire conversation from my garage with 2 houses in between us. It's fascinating and I don't think they have any idea how loud it is."
ember3pines
"If someone is having a conversation on speakerphone in my presence, I am now part of the call and will insert myself into it as much as possible."
twilightchickens
No Frills
"The expectation to have a huge wedding."
asj0107
"The expectation to have a wedding at all. They’re overrated IMO."
hiremeplz2017
"My fiancé and I are having a registrar's office wedding, just us, two witnesses, the registrar, and the paperwork. His sister complained we weren't having a proper one and that solidified my position to do it this way. No frills, no drama. We can't decide if we want a reception of any kind."
ElliotFrickinReed
A Creepy Custom
wedding fail GIFGiphy"Garter toss is f**king weird."
coronakiddos
"Yeah, we did not do this at my wedding. Really creepy custom. I don’t need to see my coworkers and my husband’s friends clamoring for something that’s just been around my thigh. And I wanted to keep my bouquet, so I tossed the maid of honor’s bouquet instead."
ZoraksGirlfriend
That garter idea always seemed off to me.
Danger Attire
Black And White Vintage GIF by FilmStruckGiphy"I can’t think of a single reason for ties being the standard for business attire other than it’s a reminder to everyone in the room that you could be easily strangled at any time."
Taxitaxitaxi33
Small Talk
"Asking people how they're doing as a matter of courtesy when you truly don't care and are hoping they just say 'good hbu' in response."
TheMaskedSandwich
"You know, you walk out the door. You see someone that you know, and they ask you how you are, and you just have to say that you're fine when you're not really fine, but you just can't get into it because they would never understand."
shall_always_be_so
"It’s even perfectly acceptable to respond with, 'Hi, how are you?' And have neither person ever actually answer with how they’re doing."
OfficialLindsayLohan
Traditions
"Blowing out candles on a birthday cake."
Lallner
"It never occurred to me to look up the origin until now..."
"For the Ancient Greeks, putting candles on a cake was a special way to pay tribute to the Greek moon goddess, Artemis. They baked round cakes to symbolize the moon. Candles were added to represent the reflected moonlight. Candles on cakes became a popular tradition long ago in Germany, too. For religious reasons, Germans would place a large candle in the center of a cake to symbolize 'the light of life.'"
"Some scholars believe that other meanings have also been attached to the use of candles on cakes. People may have believed that the smoke from the candles carried their wishes and prayers to gods who lived in the skies. Others probably believed the smoke helped to ward off evil spirits. Today, we still put birthday candles on cakes. Many people still hold superstitious beliefs about them, too."
powderp
Wasted Paper
"Cards. I'm just giving Hallmark money in exchange for a piece of paper that someone's going to look at for about 10 seconds and then completely forget about."
TheTurtleOfWar
"Lately I've been making my own handmade cards and they get a lot more love than your average store-bought ones, and I see the ones I make always end up out on my friend's dressers for display over anyone else's."
hellboyyy25
"Hallmark cards are an all-too-common phenomenon of capitalism replacing a genuinely heartfelt gesture with a store-bought, mass-produced one… and in so doing, removing the meaning from it altogether."
bearded_dragon_34
Hard Labor
Working Out Of Office GIF by This GIF Is HauntedGiphy"Working your butt off for 65 years to then live for 10 years."
maybetoomuchrum
There are so many things on this list I never thought about.
We really need some life updates.
I like the idea of working less, for sure. (Or at least not to death!)
Here's a list of what really needs to make a comeback. A lot has changed in the past decade or so, and it's time that we bring back a few older values.
U/FlintTheDad asked:
What needs to make a comeback?
One of the biggest things that has changed over the past decade or so has been entertainment, and how we consume it.
Video games have changed so much.
"Making a single purchase and getting all of a game's content."
"Similarly, develop your next game instead of continually porting your game to yet another next gen console."
These were the BEST.
well be right back saturday morning cartoons GIFGiphy"Saturday Morning Cartoons"
"Just plop on my couch, have some Cap'n Crunch and watch cartoons all morning."
"Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network still have good cartoons to watch."
"They may not be Saturday morning but they're certainly all day."
Now we have twelve different series of 90 Day Fiancé.
"Good programming on The History Channel, TLC, Discovery, MTV, etc."
"Those channels used to be so good but they're full of bad reality TV shows now."
Classic Disney is the best Disney.
"Classic 2D Disney films. No not CGI films meant to look 2D, actual hand drawn 2D films."
"Sleeping Beauty took six years and six million dollars to make, that entire film is one beautiful painting."
Societal norms have certainly changed a ton in the past twenty years or so.
We all need more of this.
Do Not Disturb Privacy GIF by Juan BillyGiphy"Privacy."
"I hate that the majority of people went from somewhat private lives, to giving it all up via social media in seemingly 5 years. As with most things, it wasn't a well known concern until it was already a huge problem."
They wait that long?!
"This might sounds weird but as someone working in childcare. Early potty training."
"The amount of parents who are waiting until their child is 3-4 to potty train is huge now. When I worked in daycare we were lucky if a child was 3+ and in pull ups."
"When I talk to other daycare workers and nannies they always say the age used to be around 2. Now it seems like everyone is 'waiting until they're ready' then panicking when that moment never comes."
College is way too expensive now.
"An affordable college and graduate school education. I.e Medical school tuition used to be $3000 a year in the 1960s according to some of the older docs. Now it's $72,000 a year at some schools. Even with inflation in mind, $3000 in the 60s is about $25,000 a year in 2021."
"This is one of those things where America looks insane. In the UK, the maximum any university can charge is about £9000 a year, and many charge much less."
Honestly, if people started bringing back the things they were nostalgic for, the world would be a much better place.
Gen Z is bringing back so much.
Broad City Reaction GIFGiphy"Roller skating at skating rinks."
"And perms. Low key 80s kid here lol."
"Perms are back. See all those Gen Z dudes with the curly-on-top and buzzed on the sides haircut, aka the broccoli haircut. You might reconsider your position on that issue after looking though."
Movies used to be so good.
"Making movies/shows/anything like that because they'd be good stories more than just moneymakers."
"On that topic, milking seasons out of a popular series long after it should have been over is just...disappointing."
"Last season of Scrubs, I am looking at you."
Nothing like a good handwritten letter.
"Handwritten letters."
"People at my work have seen my cursive and expressed a desire to possess a handwritten letter from me. My handwriting is a mess when I'm just jotting something down, but if they want letters, I'll go get my sealing wax and a card out of my box for that extra fancy feeling."
"And then the card will just read 'Butts.'"
I'm about to show how much of a nerd I am, but you know what really needs to make a comeback? Good musical theatre that's not based on movies. Just like movies and TV shows, I'm craving some good ol' fashioned original content. Maybe I'm just nostalgic for older theatre, but dang, I miss it.
Luckily, older trends almost always circle back around at some point. There's always hope for things to get better, and bring us back to simpler times
Curious to hear about people's opinions, Redditor stocdave asked:
"Which cultural norms have been around for FAR too long?"
Corporate Culture
There are some cultural norms at the office that employees can stand to get rid of.
Salary Status
"At least in the US, not talking about how much you make. Your bosses can't fire you for it but everyone thinks they can."
We Are Gathered Here Today For Nothing In Particular
"Meetings that clearly could have been an email."
"I've had meeting invites where the description of what the meeting was about was enough to not need to have the meeting. Like wtf did you not read what you typed?"
"It usually winds up being a way to blindside people with something."
Nobody's Beeswax
"Having to explain why you're taking a day off. Never made sense to me."
"Whenever I told my scheduler I needed a day off, they always asked me 'why' and I always answered 'it doesn't matter why, I'm using my time off for this.'"
"When I became the scheduler, I always stopped people when they started going into detail why they need their time off. I don't care if you're gonna go sit on the couch for a day or steal the Declaration of Independence, if you ask for time off, I'm gonna try to make it happen."
Meeting A Quota
"The 40 hour work week."
"Even worse when you feel like 10 hours of those 40 are just pure waste, the meeting about the meeting."
World Of Retail
Consumers and store employees alike have their share of frustrations.
Short Life Expectancy
"Big ticket items like cars and appliances arent expected to last longer than 3-7 years."
– KenJyi30
"For appliances I've learned just buy the bare bones ones without lots of fancy stuff. They tend to last way longer and are usually cheaper."
– Poctah
Unpopular Store Policy
"That the customer is always right."
"As somebody who does customer service for a very large Bank I 100% agree with this statement. The level of entitlement and the victimhood mentality is absolutely astonishing."
Looking Productive
"The idea in service jobs that you have to stand and look busy your entire shift because sitting down makes you look lazy."
Making A Point
"Going to work when you're sick to 'prove you're a hard worker'. All you've proven is that you don't care about your coworkers."
"No One Told Me!"
"Bank customer service is especially vile. Like for the people who work. 'No one told me!' Is so f'king common when you tell them they're negative by dreads of dollars because they kept swiping their card even though they had only $100 at the start of their weekend."
"The other day I had to tell a customer that because he had signed up for debit card advance and kept swiping his card he went waaaay into the negative. 'But they didn't tell me I had that!' Really? Because there's paperwork with your damn signature on it saying you wanted DCA."
Keeping Up With Appearances
These Redditors are beside themselves about certain things regarding one's aesthetics.
Fashion Flaw
"Chicks not having pockets. I'm over here right now with a full water bottle, a phone, a map, earbuds, and a swiss army knife, and every woman that I meet has barely enough room to put their hands in their pockets. They are missing out big time."
A Certain Sacrifice
"Long hair is unprofessional, specifically on men. As a dude in my twenties about to enter the workforce, I hate the idea that I will definitely have to cut my luxurious locks because apparently I can't both have long hair AND be competent at my job."
– LosJoye
Some Clothing Is Optional
"That a man can go walking around without a shirt on regardless of the size of his breasts meanwhile women cannot in a lot of places. Not that I want to, but damn it I want the opportunity if I feel like it."
Horrible Stigma
"The idea that autism eather means that you are a dumbass or the smartest person alive. At school nobody I've told about it has reasonable expectations. Always eather babying me when I do bad on a test or thinking I'm the next fucking Steven hawlking when I get a ten."
– Truegr
It Ain't Always Nasty
"Being weirded out by sex/thinking it's taboo. Or thinking everything with the human body is sexual. I think if we were honest about sex, there'd be less teenage pregnancy going on."
"There'd still be some, but I imagine there'd be less."
Growing up as an Asian American, I always found it to be demoralizing to bow to anyone. Yet I couldn't escape it for fear of being judged by my own community if I didn't bow out of respect.
As my rebellious phase dissipated as I grew older, I believe bowing is not a social norm that bothers me as much as it used to. It's a cultural gesture I find to be humbling and refined.
Not to mention – in the age of the pandemic – I much prefer slightly lowering my head to rubbing elbows on the street in lieu of shaking hands.
But that's just me.
