People Confess Which Things They're Below Average At Doing
One Redditor asked: 'What are you below average at?'
As much as we might like to be, we can't be good at literally everything.
But when we struggle with something that everyone else seems to naturally "get," that can be a hard thing to accept.
Redditor B**IZDeepInUrMom asked:
"What are you below average at?"
Legible Handwriting
"My handwriting is nuts one person described it as looking like a serial killer's mad scribbles."
- Hopper-1986
"A nurse once told me I sign with doctor scribbles."
- tonytonyrigatony
Carrying a Tune
"Singing. I’m very bad. I only sing in the car and I still fear I may one day be cautioned by police for being so terrible."
- 24-Hour-Hate
"Do you know why I pulled you over? That B was way off-pitch, sir (or ma'am)!! I'm arresting you for murdering that song!"
- Abbadon0666
"One of my biggest fears is pocket-dialing someone while I’m singing in the car."
- hockeybag2
The Quiet Ones
"Words spoken per day."
- CrediblyHandsome
"Why say many word, when few word do trick?"
- TitanBrews
"Yessss, someone who gets it. I use like four words every day at school."
- harryyougoboom
"I go through more, but it's mostly 'Excuse me' and 'Thank you' and other s**t I'm required to say 1,000 times per day to not be thought a sociopath."
- RichardBottom
Listening Skills
"Listening. I'm trying, but it's tough to change a lifetime habit."
- Actual_Green_7433
"I'm sorry?"
- keeeeener
"Did you say something?"
- BigTenBiden
Basic Social Interactions
"Social interactions."
- DxNxWx
"I SUCK at social interactions."
"'Nice weather today.'"
"'Thanks.'"
"A new cringe core memory unlocked."
- antoine-sama
No Flirting Game
"I'm not good at noticing when someone flirts with me. I'm not even very good at knowing the difference between an extrovert being friendly and them hitting on me."
- Not_Jim3
"My current girlfriend and I met at a club. I was crossing the dance floor; she got in my way, and we had an awkward encounter. Happened a couple more times before I got the clue: 'Oooh, I think she wants us to meet...'"
"Other than my girlfriend, I maintain I have never been flirted with or hit on once."
"Not. Once."
- clever_username_eh
Vertically Challenged
"Height. I'm only five feet tall."
- Damseldoll
"Same."
- FlyingFox32
Elusive Math Skills
"I've always been the kind of guy who 'seems smart' because I'm good with English and communication, and I'm good enough at the kind of 'real world' math like percentages, multiplication, addition and subtraction, etc."
"Then it gets to sh*t like algebra word problems, trig, calculus and I'm suddenly the dumbest person alive and the world thinks I deserve to die alone in poverty. Go figure, eh?"
- amadeus2490
Poor Sleeping Habits
"Sleeping. As of writing this, I have been struggling to catch up on sleep for about a month and I have been awake for about 16 hours and it is 7:42 AM. I’m so tired."
- HeatoStrike
In Need of Driver's Ed.
"Driving. Watch out for me in the streets!"
- Jiggy_Turner
"Parallel parking. I’ve been driving for two years now and I’m utter garbage at it. I refuse to parallel park even if there’s no angle parking available."
- n123breaker2
Mind Reading
"My wife claims I’m a pretty lousy mind reader, and I’d have to agree with her."
- imacmadman22
Negative Self-Talk
"Probably the ability to feel good about myself."
"Like, why do I think I'm ugly, or why do I think I'm a good person or why the f**k do I think I am Autistic? Probably because I'm dumb as soup."
- Jerney_to_Nirvana
"Or you just don't trust your capacity to see yourself more. I struggle with that s**t."
- dustinAlt
Investing
"Investing. I have no clue what to do."
- cadcamm99
"No one does. It's either people who were rich from the beginning or some random guy who tries to sell you stuff."
- RichieiRocket
Beauty is in the Eye of...
"Convincing my wife she's beautiful."
"The good fight continues."
- toolatealreadyfapped
Clean and Tidy
"Cleaning. I’m slowly getting better but I’m definitely below average."
- SnooGoats7133
"Bro, same, I don’t try to be a slob but everything ends up a mess because I get distracted."
- N3rdy_Cat
"Yeah! And if you’re like me you will not notice until it’s BAD."
- SnooGoats7133
If this was not one of the most relatable threads we've read to date, then we don't know what would be.
The funny thing is that, many of these struggles are struggles we all have or at least think that we have. Perhaps that means that we're really not doing as badly as we think we are, and really we just need to show ourselves some grace.
Social Norms That Are Super Weird If You Really Think About Them
"Reddit user irish-springs asked: 'What are some social norms that are pretty f**king weird if you think about it?'"
The basics of human behavior have changed so much over time.
The change feels especially rampant over the last decade.
Somethings that were considered "normal" or "just everyday behavior" have been researched, studied, and cast aside.
A lot of these changes are for the better.
Once you do a deep dive into a few "traditions," you stop and ask yourself...
"Who the H*LL thought this was ever a good idea?!"
But once you learn more, than you do better.
Redditor irish-springs wanted to hear about which norms in life feel very outdated, so they asked:
"What are some social norms that are pretty f**king weird if you think about it?"
I'm used to odd behaviors.
So I doubt I'll be shocked by this list... well, maybe.
Sorry Bob...
Roses Funeral GIF by Un si grand soleilGiphy"Spending so much for a funeral. Uncle Bob is dead, a $1200 coffin or a $100 coffin is the same for him."
8champi8
"Funerals are just weddings with really muted colors and a few extra sad people."
Oseirus
"Paying tens of thousands of dollars to bury corpses in the f**kin' ground."
ieatsthap***y
"It's even worse: we are not burying in the ground. That would be better. We are paying to embalm corpses so they are preserved for a long time, in wooden/metal boxes, using valuable space."
"Modern embalming techniques can preserve a corpse for a long time. If we were simply burying them in the ground and letting them decompose, it would be way, way better."
IWishIHavent
We Hear You!
"I feel like too many people talk on speakerphone. Do you remember when conversations were private?"
kellykellyculver
"I live in a cul de sac and a neighbor has their phone hooked up to the car Bluetooth. I can hear the phone ringing while calling someone and I can hear the entire conversation from my garage with 2 houses in between us. It's fascinating and I don't think they have any idea how loud it is."
ember3pines
"If someone is having a conversation on speakerphone in my presence, I am now part of the call and will insert myself into it as much as possible."
twilightchickens
No Frills
"The expectation to have a huge wedding."
asj0107
"The expectation to have a wedding at all. They’re overrated IMO."
hiremeplz2017
"My fiancé and I are having a registrar's office wedding, just us, two witnesses, the registrar, and the paperwork. His sister complained we weren't having a proper one and that solidified my position to do it this way. No frills, no drama. We can't decide if we want a reception of any kind."
ElliotFrickinReed
A Creepy Custom
wedding fail GIFGiphy"Garter toss is f**king weird."
coronakiddos
"Yeah, we did not do this at my wedding. Really creepy custom. I don’t need to see my coworkers and my husband’s friends clamoring for something that’s just been around my thigh. And I wanted to keep my bouquet, so I tossed the maid of honor’s bouquet instead."
ZoraksGirlfriend
That garter idea always seemed off to me.
Danger Attire
Black And White Vintage GIF by FilmStruckGiphy"I can’t think of a single reason for ties being the standard for business attire other than it’s a reminder to everyone in the room that you could be easily strangled at any time."
Taxitaxitaxi33
Small Talk
"Asking people how they're doing as a matter of courtesy when you truly don't care and are hoping they just say 'good hbu' in response."
TheMaskedSandwich
"You know, you walk out the door. You see someone that you know, and they ask you how you are, and you just have to say that you're fine when you're not really fine, but you just can't get into it because they would never understand."
shall_always_be_so
"It’s even perfectly acceptable to respond with, 'Hi, how are you?' And have neither person ever actually answer with how they’re doing."
OfficialLindsayLohan
Traditions
"Blowing out candles on a birthday cake."
Lallner
"It never occurred to me to look up the origin until now..."
"For the Ancient Greeks, putting candles on a cake was a special way to pay tribute to the Greek moon goddess, Artemis. They baked round cakes to symbolize the moon. Candles were added to represent the reflected moonlight. Candles on cakes became a popular tradition long ago in Germany, too. For religious reasons, Germans would place a large candle in the center of a cake to symbolize 'the light of life.'"
"Some scholars believe that other meanings have also been attached to the use of candles on cakes. People may have believed that the smoke from the candles carried their wishes and prayers to gods who lived in the skies. Others probably believed the smoke helped to ward off evil spirits. Today, we still put birthday candles on cakes. Many people still hold superstitious beliefs about them, too."
powderp
Wasted Paper
"Cards. I'm just giving Hallmark money in exchange for a piece of paper that someone's going to look at for about 10 seconds and then completely forget about."
TheTurtleOfWar
"Lately I've been making my own handmade cards and they get a lot more love than your average store-bought ones, and I see the ones I make always end up out on my friend's dressers for display over anyone else's."
hellboyyy25
"Hallmark cards are an all-too-common phenomenon of capitalism replacing a genuinely heartfelt gesture with a store-bought, mass-produced one… and in so doing, removing the meaning from it altogether."
bearded_dragon_34
Hard Labor
Working Out Of Office GIF by This GIF Is HauntedGiphy"Working your butt off for 65 years to then live for 10 years."
maybetoomuchrum
There are so many things on this list I never thought about.
We really need some life updates.
I like the idea of working less, for sure. (Or at least not to death!)
People Divulge Which Things Are Considered Socially Unacceptable That Shouldn't Be
Life is full of social situations, and social situations call for certain rules of behavior. Professional dinners require professional clothing, in retail, the customer is always right, and when you're with other people, you should be bubbly and outgoing, not quiet and reserved.
The thing is, some of these rules and behaviors are ridiculous, and just stress people out.
There are plenty of behaviors that aren't considered socially acceptable, but should be.
Redditor Ninja_Man_0722 agrees, because they asked:
"What is something that is considered socially unacceptable, however honestly shouldn't be?"
Death Is Not Happening
"Dying."
"Tell folks you’re dying and they’ll find ways to pretend that you’re not. It’s weird."
– relentlessvisions
"Man, I still remember when I was like 22, my cousin asked if he could come see me, and I said sure come on over at like 2. I was so excited for him to come over, I bought snacks and beer, and set up both my xboxes and tv's in the living room so we could hang out and game."
"He showed up and he explained he's having a hard time because his biological dad OD'd and it was up to him as next of kin to decide whether to pull the plug. My cousin didn't even know the man. He was absent from his life since before day one."
"I didn't know what to do, so I offered him some Dorito's and a controller."
"I still panic thinking about the fact that he came to me for help and I just shut down."
– TitularFoil
Maybe I Just Don't Want A Drink
"In my country (especially on the island I am from) it is considered an offend by most people when you refuse the drink they offer you."
"It doesn't matter if you have to drive (and it's obviously illegal to drink and drive) or already feel drunk and don't want to drink any more."
"This shouldn't be a thing... People should respect others when they wish to stay sober."
"Me and my husband have found a way around it though. We always carry a pack of medicine and whenever someone tries to pressure us into drinking we show it and be say "sorry, I am on medication for my tooth and it shouldn't be mixed with alcohol". That seems to do the trick... (it's a good excuse if any of you people need to avoid drinking, that's why I am sharing it, sorry if it's off topic)"
– aniacret
Rude Does Not Equal Right
"Calling customers out on poor behaviour."
– lasteclipse
"I got fired for this last year after I had had it from all older customers berating me after the holidays"
– that1senpai2
"Fr. They gotta make some kind of law that states that service staff cant be fired for standing up for themselves and not taking sh*t from customers"
– HXD-Inferno
Isn't Honesty The Best Policy?
"Telling someone you don’t want to go or do something without making up an excuse. We all sometimes just “don’t feel like it.” That is ok!!!
EDIT: Woah… glad so many of you can relate. And of course, thank you everyone for the awards!"
– mostlymitia
"Or leaving a function when you feel like it."
"I was wing-woman on a double date with my friend and two guys I couldn’t have been less interested in. We did dinner and then ended up at a bar. I said I was leaving and they protested but I left anyway. My girlfriend texted me after saying “I had to lie and say you didn’t feel well”. Like why? We’d been together for hours by that point and I wanted to leave. It’s that simple!"
– SnoopsMom
Date Me Because...
"Being honest about your intentions while dating"
– V00D00420
"This one blows my mind. People I would otherwise respect will lie, pressure or coerce the opposite sex in order to get laid and then laugh it off like it was the other parties fault for making it out to be such a big deal. When I've brought this up with friends as "not cool" it just makes people uncomfortable and I am told to lighten up."
– CommonRedditUserName
"“I’m looking for companionship but I’m okay with sex on the first date or even a one night stand, I’ll just get that out in the open. But if I’m with you, then I’m with only you.”"
– This_Personality3731
You Don't HAVE To Ask
"Hi, how are you?"
"I'm tired as sin and my back hurts."
"Oh, uh, ok."
"Like, don't ask if you're not ready for an honest answer. When I ask someone what's up, and they say for example, that they are sad. I'll then ask them if they need any help. Yet when I give an answer that isn't the same old stupid song and dance, I'm looked at like I just said I want to rub peanut butter on mailboxes."
– P51VoxelTanker
Working, Not Playing
"Treating work like just work. I like my work and get along great with my colleagues - at work. But I just don’t want to go out for drinks afterwards, have team events, Christmas parties and whatever. Work. Get paid. Have life outside of work with other people."
"To be clear, I don’t want to cancel social events at work. I just want them becoming very explicitly optional, with no weird looks for not attending."
– autokiller677
"To piggyback, mandatory work potlucks and now you have to go buy groceries to make extra to feed people you don’t care about. Or you’re not a team player. I just want to eat my sandwich in my car okay"
– squincherella
"“But we’re a family!”" 🤢
– FuzzballLogic
Oh, My Aching Legs
"Staff sitting down while on the job (like cashiers)."
"I know this is generally a North American thing, but "socially acceptable" isn't generally something globally universal."
– oakteaphone
"I’m a cashier and let me tell you, it’s mentally draining. Also, what about people who work in an office? Writers? Receptionists? There are plenty of sit down jobs."
– BlondieChelle83
It's Just Sharing Information
"Discussing salaries / finances. Such a ridiculous taboo. If people knew how little or how much their peers make, employers would have a much tougher time lowballing salaries or offering poverty level wages. It (theoretically) eliminate the whole “keeping up with the Jones’s” mentality, as well. If you’re not trying to one up everyone, it would be less likely to live beyond your means."
– StupidOldAndFat
Me, Myself, & I
"Going to movies/ concerts/ sporting events/ restaurants/ etc alone."
"You should be able to go out and enjoy things without needing friends/ someone else to be there with you."
– giantsninerswarriors
"Especially movies? Why do you need someone to join you to sit in silence and watch a film? That taboo never made sense to me"
– ohm18
I'm in full agreement with that last one. I go to diners and movies by myself all the time. Me time is the best time!
It sure would be nice to see bullies–especially rich ones–face consequences for their actions. There is such a crisis of accountability right now that many people appear to have accepted that certain members of society will never face justice.
That's something that society should never be on board with and we should normalize rooting bad behavior out. It's easier said than done, but it's one of many things that the majority of people would need to be on the same page about if society ever hopes to move forward.
There are many things we can do to make society a much better place for everyone. People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor Cutelittlebunbun01 asked the online community,
"What is a thing that we should normalize?"
"Not having..."
"Not having an opinion about everything."
Justforet
Social media has ruined this for everyone, hasn't it?
"I never find it awkward."
"Being silent when you have nothing to say. I never find it awkward, but I feel like some people do and they force themselves to make small talk. It's not necessary."
hipsterfuel
Business tip, use this to your advantage. People get uncomfortable with dead air, and will often fill it with things they were either holding back or did not intend to say.
"Doing 'social' things..."
"Doing "social" things on your own if you feel like it, like going to the movies or go out dancing."
ipakoopapi
Welcome to most of my youth and young adulthood. I still love getting out by myself.
"People only have so much energy..."
"Being OK with someone not being enthusiastic about your cause. People only have so much energy to put toward all the troubles in the world. Just because someone does not channel their energy toward your issues does not make them a bad person."
CaspersShadow
And just because they don’t show that enthusiasm online or to you doesn’t mean they’re not doing it!
"Changing your opinion..."
"Changing your opinion on a topic when someone shows you new information. It doesn’t mean you “lost” the argument, it means you’re wise enough to see the error of your ways and move on."
[deleted]
A growth mindset? You don't say!
"Helping..."
"Helping without expecting anything back."
[deleted]
I think we should add to this. How about helping without announcing it on social media?
"Men seeking..."
"Men seeking mental health care and not being mocked for it."
Caqumba
Access to mental healthcare needs to improve too. A lot of systems talk about 'parity of esteem' but only give it lip service.
"Men seeking help for being abused in relationships. It's horrifying to see my brother go through this and nobody believed him but me."
danforth
Sorry about your brother. It's good you were there for him!
"Asking how people are feeling with the intention to really listen."
_kionadreesmannx
This is a big one. It's so important. You'll keep a lot more friends around if you demonstrate you're a good listener.
"Having hard conversations..."
"Handling hard conversations instead of letting the problems fester and turn into bigger problems."
ResidentRepulsive
Communication is key and people who push back against it are not worth your time.
There are many things that we could add to this, don't you agree? The list is endless. Society isn't perfect, but we could always do more to better it little by little, day by day.
Have some suggestions of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
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Social norms—those unwritten rules that extroverts excel at and most neurotypical people at least understand.
However those labeled socially awkward often struggle to understand social norms.
Redditor AdPatient167 asked:
"To ADHD, autistic and neurodivergent people, what unwritten rules or social norms feel weird to you?"
Touch
"Being expected to touch strangers."
"It took a long time to get used to touching family members or having them touch me."
"Handshakes, high fives, pats on the back and I just met you?"
"Nope, nope, nope..."
- Lakotagrl
Goodbye
"Having to say goodbye to everyone individually before leaving a party or family gathering."
- yskpodcast
"There is nothing I hate more. It makes me so anxious."
- jubeeeeeeeeeee
"I will tell one person and then disappear."
- mudderofdogs
"My autistic son does this. Sometimes I'll see him just sliding out of the room when no one is looking. Exit stage left."
- ForcrimeinItaly
Frenemies
"Friendliness between people who knowingly dislike each other. Being civil I can understand but acting like best pals is not something I can do."
- CircleToShoot
"Even better when people say they hate fake people…then proceed to be fake as fuck with each other."
- whitetailsnail
"I hate fake people on a personal level but for some reason get great joy out of matching the energy of someone being fake with me."
"Like I get to practice acting?? Am I the main character in the moment??"
"I also am aware this behavior is called mirroring and is a behavior a lot of autistic (particularly women) pick up."
- Srirachaballet
Conversation
"When its appropriate to 'take your turn' in a conversation."
"The end result is I either interrupt people thinking a pause is the end of their chain of thought, or wait too long and someone else chimes in and 15 minutes later the conversation has moved on but I'm frustrated to hell unable to let go of the thing I wanted to say."
- DarkestEmber
Silence
"Lack of comfortable silence. The problem isn’t my lack of conversation, it’s the other person’s inability to sit with themselves."
"It makes me feel like I always have to be the entertainment."
- ironicplatypus84
"Yes, why can't people cherish silence? What is the meaning of conversation if you are just spitting whatever comes to your mouth?
"Is it conversation or 'fill in the words' competition?"
- KatanaLaser
"A while ago I sort of just decided that if I didn't have anything to say, I would just stop talking and see what happens. Best decision I've ever made."
"It's not my place to fill the world's silences and silence has never made me feel awkward, its heaven! So I'm just letting the other person do the work now instead of me trying to keep it going."
"I'm allowed to take up space in this world just as I am, even if its glorious, silent, autistic space! The amount of energy I've saved is amazing as well."
- treejumper1997
Genuine
"Not being honest and direct with people. It not being socially appropriate to share your own stories relating to your friends."
"I also have the tendency to immediately decide someone is my friend and begin to treat them as such."
- rneatpie98
"This is what I totally don’t get either. People always talk about stuff that seems superficial."
"How’s your life going, what are your hopes and dream, what scares you, what are you excited about, how’s your soul. Maybe that’s prying but I feel like I want to share those things with people, but I feel like that’s taboo for some reason these days."
- slade870
Time
"Telling someone you'll be 'just a minute'."
"No you won't. You're lying."
"Now I'm waiting for a minute for you and it's actually been 30 minutes and I could've been doing something else. Just say how long you will be."
- cynicalkerfuffle
In The Zone
"I get super annoyed when someone distracts me when I’m in the zone. Conversely, if I’m distracted and ready to do stuff I absolutely hate waiting."
"Basically I don’t understand why everyone doesn’t follow my exact, unpredictable mental schedule."
- peakfreak18
"Wait is that an ADHD thing, because I have never heard a more absolutely perfect description of how things are in my head?"
"I’ve caught myself being frustrated so many times because people don’t immediately match my energy when I’m trying to do something (like leave the house or buy groceries) but will also become borderline irate if someone tries to talk to me while I’m doing something unimportant like reading a news article."
- Throwaway47321
Advice
"Stop telling me to focus or get organized. If I could do that, you wouldn’t have to tell me to do that."
"Just leave me to my chaos and stuff will get done. Doing things the way you want me to will only stress me out and will make stuff not get done."
- Wilhelt21
Meetings
"Having to start meetings with 5 minutes of small talk. Can we just work please so we can end the meeting faster?"
- JDFighterwing
"Just meetings in general really, most of what is said can be sent to everyone in a concisely written email."
- Aggravating_Ad5989
"The only thing more irritating than meetings that could have been an email are the people who never respond to emails, forcing us to have meetings that could have been emails."
- MaFSotL
While some of these sentiments aren't restricted to neurodivergent individuals, many people with ASD or ADHD can relate.
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