How can we make money by barely breaking a sweat?
Inquiring minds want to know.
If it's not about a career but just cashing a check, let's make it easy.
Nobody wants to work hard labor for nothing.
If it's for almost nothing, then I should be able to nap while I'm there.
Actually, there's a job that pay pretty well that let's you do exactly that!
Redditor Ubarberet wanted to hear about the jobs where we can collect a check for basically not working, so they asked:
"What job pays you to do literally nothing?"
I will be getting a pen and paper and writing down all of these suggestions.
More money, less work?
I'm in.
Night. Night.
Donald Duck Sleeping GIF
Giphy
"Professional sleeper. You’re hired by mattress and blanket companies to test their latest products before they go commercial."
FakeEnglishmen47
Third Shift
"3rd shift security guard. Easiest s**t ever. Just don't get caught sleeping."
StraightsJacket
"What you're saying is if you want to rob a place, make sure it's during 3rd shift."
lovetyrannicalreddit
"The pros already know this. But scout your location cuz the grave guys aren’t the ones you want catching you."
"Think of it this way; dayshift security is like the crew of a cruise ship (more customer service oriented), graveshift are your old school privateers (pirates). Some have an eye patch, a limp, a penchant for violence, and you don’t want them catching you alone on the open water."
luda60
Not a bad gig...
"Knew a guy who worked at a general electronics place. He was a typical retail dude but got promoted to be a 'repairman' in the back. He got no extra training and was just told to do what he could and if he couldn't fix it then refer them elsewhere. He didn't know sh*t about repairs. He would be on his phone most of the day and when someone brought him a broken phone he'd try to turn it on, if it didn't work he handed it back. He spent most of his time on his phone in the back. Not a bad gig.
Nollypasda
Just There
"I was the white guy for a company in South East Asia. I had no job responsibilities. Just turn up and sit at my desk and Reddit all day. Occasionally I’d put a suit on and go to the owner’s fancy meetings in restaurants, and not say a thing. Or turn up at some building project. I mostly took Xanax and slept on my desk or snuck over to the bar next door."
RonaldTheGiraffe
Bored
Bored Season 5 GIF by The Office
Giphy
"My last job. technically I got to send faxes and open the mail, but that was an hour of work tops. It was mostly watching YouTube and being bored out of my mind."
disregardable
People still send faxes?
I haven't seen a fax machine since the aughts.
Abysmal
GIF by Young Thug
Giphy
"Firefighter at a rural, but paid, department. Most of my day is napping or binge-watching stuff on my laptop. The pay is abysmal though."
dietcoketm
Who?
"Security guard for a nonfamous rich person's house."
glencoaMan
"Had an unofficial gig doing house sitting for a rich friend of a relative. Was paid decent money to live on the property, and walk around the land a couple of times a day. Dead quiet at night and a pretty big space with no one else, so I can't really say it was relaxing."
reverze1901
Light Delivery
"A friend of mine is a 'concierge' in an up-market, small-build apartment block in a leafy suburb. He said the most he usually has to do is take in people's mail/parcel delivery or help older residents if they need to move furniture, etc. (and he said that in itself is quite rare). He mainly sits in a cushy office and listens to music/watches movies."
Nefilim777
5 to 30 minutes of pretending...
"Professional white man. In China, I had a side gig to be a white guy at various places. I would just pretend to be working for a company when tours and investors came through. I guess a Chinese company looks more successful if there is a white person. Then there was the sitting on the stage looking important during inevitable presentations."
"No actual work, just 5 to 30 minutes of pretending during a workday. Other than that you do what you want. Just be well-groomed and well-dressed. Sometimes I was told to be on the phone pretending to be making an important deal. Got business cards and everything."
mrhoof
Get that bag, Nana...
"The last time I was at Walmart, there were old people sitting in chairs by the gardening exit, presumably to check receipts or stop shoplifters. But company policy is not to try to stop shoplifters, it is dangerous. So they were all just sitting in their chairs and playing on their phones. I was like, 'Get that bag, Nana. You... deserve to play Candy Crush on the billionaire dime!'"
Comments_Wyoming
Spooky Spooks
Gonna Die Black Metal GIF by Kiszkiloszki
Giphy
"Graveyard security. 90% of the job is downtime, 9% is 'Move along, sir' and 1% 'HOLY F**KING S**T!!!'"
WhichWhereas1879
I don't care how boring, quiet or easy it is... I am not working ANY Graveyard shifts in a damn graveyard.
No thank you.
Redditor AdministrativeFox784 was curious to hear the things which were necessary for people to have a peaceful night's sleep, leading them to ask:
"What is something you absolutely cannot fall asleep without?"
Sleepless Nights...
"Apparently hours of sleep deprivation."- RaphaelSolo
Tired Stewie Griffin GIF by Family GuyGiphyGive Your Knees The Support They Need
A pillow between my legs."- frann_ie
A Cool Dark Room
"A fan running and complete darkness."- Dangerous_Effort3355
"My fan on, I'll wake up immediately if it turns off."- keznaa
Star Night GIF by TRTSilence!
"Ear plugs."
"I started wearing them when my wife started snoring like a buzz saw."
"Now I can't sleep without em."
"It's almost become a Pavlovian thing where putting them in almost instantly helps me fall asleep."- fartswhenhappy
When Your Mind Is Racing, It Has To Wear Itself Out Eventually...
"An underlying sense of dread and impending existential crisis."- Bigby11
pillow GIFKeeping You Physically And Emotionally Warm...
"A blanket to hug."
"I curl it up and then hug it."
"I love it Soooooo much!"
"I think this is because I grew out of stuffed animals pretty quick, I was allergic to them, they made cough, and I needed something to replace those fuzzy creatures."- plop8624
Stirring The Imagination To Awaken The Dreams
"Either reading a book or watching a relaxing youtube video."- fh3131
It would be nice if we all had on/off buttons which allow us to sleep undisturbed.
But until we do, our own, personal rituals will have to do.
Redditor SpaceHubYT was eager to hear the most terrifying things people woke up to in the middle of the night, leading them to ask:
"What’s the scariest thing you’ve woken up to in the middle of the night?"
Keeping an extra close eye...hopefully?
"My grandmother just standing there in the dark by my bed, quietly wringing her hands and staring at me."- fryinpaskettimobster
Terrifying no matter when
"My mom saying I needed to get up and go with the cop."- abletable342
An experience no one deserves
"My mom screaming up the stairs 'get out of the house now!!!' and my brother swinging my door open to get us out."
"The house was on fire."- stoneytopaz
One hundred little fingers...
"Centipede crawling on my face."
"I still shiver thinking about when that happened."- Slight_Librarian_399
Bug Insect GIF by AquariumMeGiphyA lesson well learned?
"A cop walking into my Airbnb at 4am in Tennessee."
"Somehow he had the code and just.. walked in."
"I was sleeping on the couch right near the front door."
"He yelled at me and asked my name and what I was doing there."
"I was dazed and said 'ugh, I’m sleeping here man' and he’s like 'we were called about a B n E at this address'." - Reddit
"And I said 'I dunno man' and he was like 'well, sorry to disturb you'."
"And he walked out."
"Found out later that the call came In from a different address and the cop still had the door code from a previous call that was put in at this building before."
"This is where I learned if someone breaks in to where I’m sleeping In the middle of the night, I ain’t gonna do sh*t."
"My reaction time is about 5 minutes."- ReferHvacGuy
Sharing a midnight snack?
"Cat dropping a giant a** spider on my chest, then giant spider disappearing in my panic."- lady_of_the_lac
attack spider GIFGiphyOne can only imagine...
"My wife sitting straight up out of bed and screaming while pointing down the hallway."
"She talks in her sleep, usually it’s hilarious."
"That time it was not."- BrotherOfTheOrder
Nature's alarm clock
"8.8 Richter scale earthquake at 3am."- sparkdaniel
There's a first time for literally everything.
"Lived in an old building in NYC."
"Had a neighbor across the hall that would seldom have night terrors."
"1st time it happened, it was about 4am and I was pretty sure she was getting murdered from the piercing screaming and loud thumps from her flailing around and the sound of glass breaking."
"I grabbed a meat cleaver and went into the hallway in my underwear to see that everyone else in the building was also awake and poking their heads out into the hallway wondering what to do."
"Me and 2 other neighbors eventually knocked on her door and when she answered she looked pale like a ghost and was dripping in sweat."
"She didn't remember any of it, apologized and explained to us her condition."
"That was some blood curdling sh*t."
"She was very apologetic about it and bought us all six packs of beer for freaking us out."
"Me and the two neighbors that decided to take action were all 100% sure that she was getting murdered at that moment."
"I lived there for 2 years and I think she only had 2 episodes during that time."- azninvasion2000
Always a relief to wake up.
"Had sleep paralysis one time in my life."
"I woke up to a very clear figure slowly moving towards my bed."
"I tried to scream or move but I couldn’t."
"Eventually it made it onto my bed and pressed against my chest with its knees and I could physically feel the pressure."
"It started to choke me and just as I felt like I was about to pass out I woke up."
"Apparently I was positioned like a mummy in a Sarcophagus with my arms crossed with my OWN hands around my neck."
"The more afraid I got the more I squeezed and the more I squeezed the more afraid I got."
"Scared the death out of me and I still remember it vividly."- PriorAgreeable8103
A most unwanted visitor
"This didn't happen directly to me but I was very close when it happened."
"When kids turn 11-12 years old in our youth movement, they get to sleep in big military like tents during summer camp."
"Usually in the back of a large grass field, away from the main buildings."
"This particular year, we slept on a part military and public terrain where there was a walking path separating the sleeping field and the main building."
"So we saw many hikers, bikers and even a military training passing by during the day."
"One evening our group was sitting outside our tent singing and talking, when we heard a loud bark."
"At first we didn't think much of it because we heard a lot of dogs during the day, but what really spiked our concern was how close and scary it sounded."
"Some doubted whether it really was a dog by the sheer loudness, deepest growl it had."
"We decided tot call it a night, and we all went to bed."
"We were fairly large size group so we slept on either side of the tent, dividing the tent lengthwise with a big walkway in the middle."
"The entrance was at the two ends of the walkway, so 4 kids slept beside it."
"At night we closed up all the gaps with a large tarp."
"The morning after we heard the loud bark, one kid was very quiet at breakfast."
"When we tried to ask what was wrong, they broke down in tears and ran inside the shower facility."
"Later when two camp leaders came back from consoling them, they had a shocked expression and where white as a sheet."
"At night, somebody had pulled off the tarp, undone all the buttons, it was hard to undo them from the outside because you fasten them from the inside, and walked through our tent."
"The kid that was quiet at breakfast, they woke up from the rustling, it was on their side, and watched how somebody walked through the tent, looking at every kid while they were asleep and even stopping and standing in the middle of the walkway for five minutes."
"The kid said they thought it was a camp leader at first but when a dog came in after the person, they knew it wasn't."
"While laying absolutely dead still, they watched as the dog sniffed around and even taking food out of backpacks that were laying at the head of beds."
"After about 10 min, the man and his dog walked out, leaving and not even closing the tarp."
"The kid lay frozen in bed, terrified of moving."
"That morning, when our camp leaders, came to wake us up they saw the removed tarp and open tent."
"They didn't think much of it and thought a kid went to go pee."
"After breakfast our camp leaders sat us down and told us what happened the night before."
"We were all too scared to sleep outside and asked to sleep in the buildings."
"The days after the event, the camp leaders slept with their groups."
"Each night after the event, we heard rustling, howling, low barking and talking."
"Not close by but we heard it."
"Until three days after when a group of little kids came running out of the forest that surrounded the ground, screaming at the top of their lungs."
"They were playing hide and seek and while hiding in an abandoned concrete pipe, they heard a low growl followed by loud barking coming at them."
"We sent all the kids home and came back the next day to clean up."
'After reporting the incidents, the police searched the whole area and found a homeless person that apparently was on the run from police."
'He had multiple sex crime conviction and was know for using his dog as a weapon."
"We were all very shocked when we heard the news."
"The little kid who saw it all didn't join the summer camps anymore, while the camp leaders decided to cancel the three following summer camps."- GroundbreakingTax302
Things are always clearer after having your morning coffee
"Got woken up on a Saturday morning by what looked like Samara from The Ring standing next to my bed."
"Let out a loud scream before the figure went "Yo chill, it's just me'."
"It was my sister telling me breakfast was ready."- Emil_Scalibia
the ring GIFGiphyLittle brothers...
"When me and my younger brother were really little, he had a night terror and was standing in his crib screaming and crying bloody murder."
"He kept screaming about an urchin in the corner of our room, and he seemed mortified."
"I had never seen someone act like that, so I was a bit freaked out."
"Took like an hour to calm him down."- Upset_Toe
Things Aren't Always What They Seem
"When I was little like 8 I was scared of the dark like most kids ."
"But one night I woke up and I saw what I thought was little girl standing next to my bed."
"I recall fainting and in the morning there was a vacuum cleaner next to my bed."
"But I still think it was a girl till this day."- barbiejeepboy
Could have been their stomach?
"Growling at the end of the bed."
"There were no animals or other people in the room."- Loserskwad
Most people prefer teddy bears...
"Okay so I was sleeping and I woke up and rolled over looking for the remote in the blankets."
"I felt what I thought was the remote in the blanket, but when I unfurled the blanket it was actually a flattened opossum carcass."
"I guess it got hit by a car outside and my cat brought it in and put it in bed with me."
"I screamed so loud that my next door neighbor came over."- randcoon
GiphyBe it over nothing, or something incredibly serious, being woken up at all hours of the morning is never a pleasant experience.
As the place everyone should always feel safest of all, is in the comfort of their own bed.
Because I can!
"Zero restrictions while sleeping means better sleep."
"I have learned to hang a robe by the bedroom door..."- IssaScott
"Freedom!I"
"I sleep better when my body is a bit cool."
"I hate having to wear clothes by day, so by night its a relief!"- Draculamb
'I have to wear clothes all day, f*ck having to wearing them in bed."- Purple-Homework764
Lets Go Undress GIF by PaxerosGiphyBuilt in security system
"Wouldn't you be scared if you were a robber and saw a naked man running at you with a frying pan?"- makz_ammo
Read into it as you will...
"Same reason I shower naked, so I don't get my clothes wet."- dmack080288
Fan Reaction GIF by MOODMANNot just at bedtime...
"It stops people from sitting next to me on the train."- bujler
"When else does my genitals gets to see sunlight."- sex_chef
To get a head start on the day.
"In the morning I don’t feel like taking off clothes to get into the shower so i just sleep naked."- Zoie10135
Relaxing Homer Simpson GIFGiphyIt just feels so good...
"because it's way more comfortable and I won't feel every single crease in the clothing and it won't bunch up."- everyonesBF
The most important factor when it comes to sleepwear is comfort.
Which, for many people means ditching sleeping attire all together.
And let's face it, there are few better feelings than that of the sheets against your skin.
Well, maybe one or two things, which also involve a lack of clothing...
I'm best when I'm at my laziest. Ok, that's a lie, but I don't care.
Zzzz...
Donald Duck Sleeping GIFGiphy"On weekends I sleep for 12-14 hours. I usually wake up a few times but I dream so much during those long sleeps that it’s basically become a recreation type thing and I love it."
HouseOfZenith
Warm it up...
"When I use the microwave, I’ll heat food for 1:11 or 2:22 because I can’t be bothered to move my lazy fingers."
fysicks
"I figured out that my microwave's turntable rotates once every 12 seconds. So, everything I cook is on a multiple of 12 seconds so that it always ends up at the front of the microwave when it's done cooking, and I don't have to reach all the way to the back of the microwave to get my food out."
unittwentyfive
Bang
"When I was a kid on a school day, I had this routine where I'd stick my legs out of the bed and bang around on the floor so it sounded like I got out of bed and then just lie there for a few more minutes."
bewarethechameleon
"Did you also get your toothbrush wet and squirt a wee bit of toothpaste in your mouth rather than actually brush your teeth? If so I may be your mom and you weren’t fooling me or the dentist and you sure weren’t fooling the plaque that attacked."
TigerLily98226
Pockets
"Whenever I clean the house I put on my housecoat with really big pockets. I just walk from room to room and put things in my pocket that don’t belong in that room. Once my pockets are full I go to each room and empty my pockets putting what is from each room in that room."
kindhearttbc
"That's not lazy... that's productive AF."
throwaway92715
Toss It
Pippi Longstocking Chaos GIF by ZDFGiphy"I don’t fold the fitted sheet. Just ball it up and place it in the closet."
SpaghettiSquash33
I just see people human. Don't he so hard on yourselves.
12 Hours
Tired Fight Club GIFGiphy"I once watched 12 hours of the golf Network because the batteries were dead in my remote control. I don't know if that's lazy or depressed."
sadbirdfox
I swear I was...
"I was taught to make a bed properly as a child, I swear I was. Hospital corners and everything. I even know how to fold a fitted sheet, thanks to my auntie, who's an Air Force nurse and therefore doesn't consider little problems like 'non-Euclidean geometry' to be a reason not to do it properly. The second I found out about duvet covers, that was over. Sure, it doesn't look as tidy, but five minutes a week plus 10 seconds in the morning instead of 10 minutes a day? I can live with that."
katie-kaboom
The System
"I don't fold laundry anymore. I have a system of laundry baskets like this where clothes gets sorted by type (pants, t-shirts, sweaters, etc). Most of my clothes is wrinkle free, and for the few pieces that aren't I just throw them on a hanger in the bathroom while I take a steamy shower."
User deleted
Genius!!
"Before I get out of bed in the morning, I will grab the top corners of my sheets with my hands and prop up the bottom two with my feet and move it into place. Then I slide out of bed without ruffling anything. Just like that, my bed is made."
Markymark142
"My sister has to do this before she goes to bed at night, even is she made the bed that morning. It's an odd little quirk and mostly harmless."
mel2mdl
Yummy
andrew huang pots GIF by SoundflyGiphy"Just eating food straight out of the pan."
refrshmts_N_narcotcs
None of that sounds so bad. That sounds... like my life. Don't judge!!
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