"What is the worst thing you've overheard while pretending to be asleep?"
Absolutely Nothing About This Makes Any Sense
"When I was a kid, I used to be scared of monsters or something creeping up on me in my sleep, so I would always ask my dad to check on me before he went to bed."
"It made me feel more comfortable."
"One night, I was still awake when I heard him coming up the stairs, and I wasn’t supposed to be awake and knew I would get in trouble if he saw me, so I pretended to be asleep."
"He came in to my room and just kinda stared at me for a few seconds, then came up close to my bed, lifted the blanket up, farted under it, turned around and left."
"It’s been at least 15 years and I remember that night vividly."
"He vehemently denies it to this day but I know what happened."- YaBoiStego
No Matter When Or Where, It's Never News You Want to Hear
"I heard the news my dad passed away pretending to sleep."
"I was 12 at the time, woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom."
"Headed to the kitchen to get some water after and saw my sister sitting on the couch."
"She asked if I could sleep out in the living room with her and I didn't think anything of it."
"Woke up the next morning and kept my eyes closed, I heard my mom telling my dad's best friend we lost him."
"I won't forget it."- weesstt
"I pretended to sleep through the doctor sitting at my kitchen table telling my dad he had stage 3 cancer."
"I was 9."
"He's totally fine now!"
"But it really sucked at the time."- slightlysarcastic75
Even If You Weren't Actually Asleep, Did He Not Worry About Waking Him Up?
"Freshman college roommate watching porn on his laptop wearing headphones, humping his mattress like there’s no tomorrow."- underpar86
Volume Up What GIF by Lillee JeanGiphyWhere On Earth Were The Parents?!?!
"Sleeping over at a friends house when I was 14, all of us on the floor in living room."
"Couldn’t sleep."
"Two of my friends, guy and girl, directly next to me start doing freaky things to each other."
"I was extremely shy and a couple of years younger than them so I stayed quiet and hoped they’d stop."
"Had to listen to them for an hour while she made weird a** moaning squeaky noises and he was singing (in a weird slightly whispery singy voice) matchbox 20 songs to her while he did whatever he was doing."
"That was last time I slept over at a friends house."- ashananon
Medical Miracle?
"That I was dying with Meningitis but jokes on the doctors I'm still kicking."- FeedBean6
What Happens In Vegas...
"My grandparents won $10,000 at the casino, and they told all of their children, and presumably gave them some of that money, except my dad."
"My dad is a d*ck so I didn’t tell him either."- 3-methylbutylacetate
Make It Rain Loop GIF by Chris TimmonsGiphySome Friends They Are...
"My 'friends' talking about going into my wallet later and stealing my money, and then leave before I notice."
"I kicked them out."- bodymeat_112
Caught In The Act
"My mom and I were sharing a hotel room on a trip and unfortunately only had one bed so we had to share that too."
"As I was trying to fall asleep, I kept hearing the text tone from my mom’s phone going off and her giggling."
"My parents hate each other so I knew it wasn’t my dad she was texting with."
"Curious, I opened my eyes just a little bit to see that she was flirting with other men while on a trip with her family and I was in fact staring at a d*ck pic."
"I couldn’t really go back to sleep after that."- MissMetalSix
Setting Such A Good Example...
"My older brother in the next room when he snuck a girl in."
"They had sex for about a minute and then I could hear him apologizing for about 20."
"May not be the worst ever, but it's definitely the funniest."- Sigurd93
Are They Really "Mates"?
"Probably the funniest was on a camping trip with the boys."
"I have sleep apnea and use a cpap machine."
"I overheard a couple of my mates talking about smoking a joint and hotboxing me through the air intake of my cpap machine."- anonymous_DoDoBeDoDo·
Never A Pleasant Sound
"Probably my dad's dementia screaming."
"Usually nothing is wrong, but he'll wake up at 4 or 5 in the morning to yell at God and grind his teeth."
"You never do get used to it."- PossibleStrength·
Seemed To Work Out For The Best?...
"Not me, but my wife heard her boyfriend having sex with her best friend."
"This was obviously long before we met."- TheDeadGunslinger
Mommie, Dearest...
"My mom and aunt talking, thinking 10-year-old me was asleep."
"Aunt, 'Little Runs_N_Goses is so cute'."
Mom: 'No, he's not very good-looking at all'."- Runs_N_Goses
Even if pretending you're asleep might save you from partaking in something you want to put off for as long as possible, for better or worse, it doesn't save you from hearing everything you are missing.
Which, in certain cases, might mean you have to face the music all over again.
Almost making you wish you were, in fact, asleep and it was all a dream.
Reddit user EDBTZ asked:
"What fake scenario do you imagine while falling asleep?"
I'll admit, the scenarios that play out in my head when I let my imagination wander are often "interesting" - but I'm glad to know I'm not the only one!
Check out these sleepyheady Imagineers.
Bed Buns
wrong turn cabin GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"I picture myself in the middle of the forest and it’s blizzarding."
"There are obviously dangerous creatures all around."
"But I’m in my weather-and-monster-proof cabin all wrapped up like a cinnamon bun in my king size bed."
- snarfymcsnarfface
"Gotta have the monsters to emphasize the safety in the imaginary stronghold. They're much easier to keep out than the stressful thoughts."
- gurnard
"This just sounds like what it’s like living here in rural Canada lol"
- Malbredy
Imaginary Tortoise
"I like to think about an imaginary tortoise walking around in a desert eating little flowers and cactus."
"I dont know why, but imagining that little guy always puts my mind at ease. When I am at the dentist getting a cavity drilled or a tooth extracted, I try to dissociate by imagining that tortoise."
"For whatever reason, its become a coping mechanism for me."
- Ecto_Cooler_Juicebox
"This is lovely. I hope the tortoise has a name."
- gionnelles
"Wait this is so cute"
- burnham
In The Igloo
"Have done this semi-regularly (weekly) for at least 15 yrs."
"I'm in a tiny igloo with my head facing the entrance. There is a small fire in the entrance with wolves growling at me on the other side of the entrance."
"Strangely it's extremely comforting because I know nothing can get to me."
"I'm usually asleep within 10 seconds of my head touching the pillow."
- F33dR
"I used to do this one a lot as a kid!"
"I would even place my head under a long pillow imagining that was the igloo entrance."
- favaritx
"How odd. When I was a kid I would have recurring dreams about sleeping in an igloo."
- jdrink22
In Recovery
Black And White Hospital GIF by National WWI Museum and MemorialGiphy"This is so stupid, but here we go. I've disabled and have chronic pain problems, so I always go to bed with some kind of bad ache or cramp to keep me awake."
"At some point, I got into the habit of daydreaming that I was injured and am recovering."
"Sometimes I'm a soldier, or on an alien ship, sometimes I'm an SCP, or a Marvel villain turned good."
"Sometimes its angsty, sometimes more sweet."
"Whatever the background, it's always that I have many people around to care for me, I'm finally safe from whatever situation harmed me, and I can relax and sleep away the pain."
"My therapist surprisingly encouraged it as a coping mechanism when I told her about it. It works wonders."
- berripluscream
Escape
"This is very weird, but it used to be a lot of fun lol."
"When I was a kid, I had this big window near my bed. So, before getting into bed, I’d imagine that there was a spooooky witch gliding towards my window and I’d have to jump underneath the blankets in time, before she saw me."
"I’d cover myself up real quick and fall asleep."
- SteinDickens
"I did something similar as a kid."
"Only instead of a witch, I imagined a burglar creeping through my house ready to kill anyone who was awake."
"I'd practice looking like I was asleep so I'd fool him. (Mouth slightly open, jaw relaxed, deep but not too deep breaths, eyes gently closed, not squeezed shut) "
"Worked every time. Never got murdered and always fell asleep."
- AfterTowns
Architects
"I build a house."
"I go through many different types of homes: Mini homes, big mansions, modest style homes, or even bus homes. But I build it in my mind as I walk through it."
"It’s a good imagination tool that doesn’t keep your brain too active but still has you in a 'dream' like scenario."
- MostCoolUncoolDude
"I do this too! Never realized someone else would do the same :)"
- Missbeerbitch
"There they are. My fellow bedtime architects/landscapers/interior designers."
- yeetanddefeat
"I'm glad to be a part of this club!"
"I'm always building an off-grid cabin in the woods."
"I enjoy the idea of thinking how to build it and what the layout would be like. Then the extra fun is trying to rig solar, deal with water, sort out heating and cooling, and then throwing in a toilet."
- FrenchmanRiddles
Witnessing Wonders
"I’d like to think I’m floating in the middle of the ocean."
"The water is so still with no other sound than that of my own breath. Looking up, not a single cloud in sight only a beautiful blue sky kissed by the sun."
"I close my eyes, take a deep breath and submerge myself."
"I open my eyes, staring into the dark abyss. I’m sinking."
"The light from above fades. Darkness engulfs me but then…I see lights.. are they stars? They are."
"I’m floating through space. Passing by stars and cosmic events that have no true words to describe them when witnessed first hand."
"Anyways that’s how nights usually go."
- Aleister-Turgalium
This Screenplay
"Getting kidnapped and taken to Mexico to be sold - but before I am, I try to escape."
"One of the workers there, who was also kidnapped, catches me; but he helps me and ends up escaping with me. From then on, he and I are on the run from Mexican traffickers."
"We have to stay low for a week before we can fly out of there. During that time we have to stay in a small motel room to lay low. He takes me out to the woods to teach me to shoot guns and fight and sh*t just in case things go bad. We know they'll probably go bad."
"We have a few moments that make me wonder if I have feelings for him?"
"We’re eventually able to get to the airport, but the bad guys are there and he has to protect me. We are able to make a dramatic getaway, during which we admit that we've fallen in love."
"But then he is charged with helping the bad guys so he has to go to prison even though he was there against his will!"
"I wait a year for him, pining and counting down every moment until we eventually reunite and get married."
- sametimetmr
Natalie Imbruglia
music video 90s GIFGiphy"About 25 years ago I was a a teen with a crush on Natalie Imbruglia (she was getting famous with Torn videoclip)."
"My imaginary scenario before falling asleep at night was attending one of her live exhibitions and saving her from a terrorist."
"Her body guards were useless and the terrorist ran up the stage, but I was faster! I climbed on the stage and KO-ed the terrorist with a karate kick (and no, I didn't even do karate, but karate stuff and flippy-kicks vibed hard in the 90s! It grew in our DNA)."
"In the backstage, she thanked me and we started making out. Of course..."
- GRAAK85
How My Species Is
"It’s kind of out there but here it goes:"
"I imagine a group of authority figures (usually scientists or doctors) 'discovering' me. I’m the last of my species."
"They have no ill intentions towards me, and in fact want to care for me. They force me to relax and rest, sometimes against my will. They bring me food and entertainment but most spend time just cuddling me and making me feel safe."
"They study what I like and don’t like, and praise me over the littlest things. I’m allowed to be as weird as I want and it’s ok cause that’s just how my species is."
"I am an autistic who went through a very rough childhood, so a fantasy where I’m being cared for and cooed over despite my differences doesn’t surprise me."
- Regretbeatingupakid
So now that you know what other people are thinking about, it's your turn to spill - especially if it's as delightfully odd as karate for Natalie Imbruglia.
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Reddit user Acid_In_My_Eyes asked:
"People who can't sleep, what do you do all night?"
Yeah ... turns out, it's certainly not a space of creation for everyone. Unless the thing you're creating is anxiety.
Over and Over
"Toss and turn. Overthink. Replay conversations on my mind."
- strawberrytohoney
"Yeah man... anxiety takes it toll on sleep. The more stressful the day, the worse the sleep."
- zfgnjzfgnjmzrfgjk
"100%!!!! And how I could have acted differently or what else could’ve happened."
- strawberrytohoney
GiphyIncreasing
"Be increasingly pissed off about not being able to sleep."
- Froggielaflame
"It's the most vicious cycle ever."
"Can't sleep, pissed off that you can't sleep, now it's even harder to get to sleep. Now you are stressing out because it's getting closer to the next day, adds to the fact you cant sleep."
"Been there..."
- Zer0C00L321
Calculations
"Calculate how many hours of sleep I could at least still have if I was able to fall asleep at that moment."
- Adept-Elephant1948
"Same."
"It’s literally the worst because I end up priming myself for a day where I believe I’ll perform suboptimally; thereby ensuring I perform suboptimally."
"It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy."
- Samson8765
"Being tired and having a sh*t day at work because you laid awake all night thinking about how you were going to be tired and have a sh*t day at work is the worst."
- OfficeChairHero
Not No Regrets
" 'Dream’ random scenarios in my head where I either could have done better or changed things, or I’m dreaming of scenarios I want to happen, either because they might or just because I want it in the future"
-Genderneutral_Bird
"So its not 'no regrets' it's 'some regrets?' "
-Acid_In_My_Eyes
"Every single day. They can be as small as ‘I wish I had just given x person x compliment’ to ‘I never should have told x person about x secret’ etc"
-Genderneutral_Bird
Happy Place
"I have found success in just accepting that I cant sleep, OK I GUESS IM NOT GONNA SLEEP RIGHT NOW...and then getting in to a comfy position."
"EYES WIDE OPEN, NOT TRYING to sleep. Just lay there and let my mind wander."
"I build what I call, happy places."
"What kind of life do I WISH I had? What kind of world do I wish this was?"
"I build the whole world, I usually have powers but no one knows."
"I'm rich. I'm single. The world is safe enough to leave your front door unlocked and no one goes in to your house."
"I just build and build and build the most kickass scenarios, and eventually I'll wake up and be like 'OH I FELL ASLEEP!' and after that I usually keep sleeping."
-finalglimmer
GiphyBed Time Stories
"I am really bad at falling asleep. Unless really tired and/or using alcohol."
"Since that's not an everyday solution I listen to an audiobook, in my case the Harry Potter series."
"I know the books so well that my brain, while focusing on the story, grows numb an I fall asleep."
"The audiobook, unless the device is shaken, will turn off after 30 minutes. I mostly fall asleep within the hour now and I have something fun to listen to."
"Haven't tried it using a story I don't know, but that will probably keep me awake."
-Mr_Zoelmond
"I do this with Forensic Files."
"It’s crazy, but I’ve seen all 20 thousand of them and the familiarity and voice puts me in a calm trance."
"It takes what it takes lol"
-Leading_Funny5802
Crash When You Crash
"Read, browse reddit, music, get some work done, daydream/think whatever u wanna call it."
"I don't adhere to a schedule, I just crash when I crash, get up when I get up."
"It's healthy trust me."
-69stuffstuff69
"Do u work or go to school right now?"
-Acid_In_My_Eyes
"School, and online. All it complicates is the occasional obligation. May not align for everyone, but it's what works for me and if it works for you it could be all cool."
-69stuffstuff69
Relish The Rare
"Turn off blue light on all devices an hour before sleep."
"Use a white noise app or something similar so your mind blocks out and focuses on only 1 sound."
"Reading or listening to podcasts."
"Turn a lot."
"Most importantly for me is to get comfortable and relish in that rare comfort."
"The times I'm not worried about my lack of sleep, the better sleep I get. I normally remember that being comfy and switched off from the world (even if it doesn't work) is much more preferable to being uncomfy, looking at a screen and working for 7 hours straight."
"If nothing else, Masturbate."
-VirgilVanDoink
Transporting Myself
"I’m going through chemo treatments right now and on Tuesday nights through Thursday, into Friday, I can’t sleep."
"I will get up, go to the living room, pour a cup of coffee and read."
"I’ve finished a few books since January and I’m running out. I’m taking in the peace and quiet and transporting myself to a different world for a few hours."
"Then, I’ll take a nap for a bit. Rinse and repeat every other week."
-PickleSmack
GiphyTurning Japanese
"I remember a few weeks back, I was quite nervous about my girlfriend's wellbeing as she was super stressed about things."
"That made me super stressed about things to the point I couldn't sleep."
"I ended up trying to assemble basic sentences in Japanese for a few hours to take my mind off things."
-BagOfToenails
That Scrubbing Sound
"I really don’t know if this will help anyone, but I watch reconstruction videos of old vintage items and welding of items."
"Such as cleaning a old and broken PS1 and forging weapons from video games, hearing the sounds and the scrubbing at a low sound does help me sleep"
-Character-Ostrich-54
There you go, fellow insomniacs.
Now you've got a project list for the next time sleep decides it's not your friend.
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Reddit user Civil-Scallion3503 asked:
"A surprisingly high amount of people (adults) still sleep with a comfort item, what’s yours?"
I know I'm not the only parent whose kid has "donated" a stuffy or two as a cuddle buddy. I'm also not the only one out here who needs a cuddle buddy to begin with.
Here's what Reddit uses:
Pork Chop
"A tiny throw pillow with a pig dressed in cowboy clothes. There's a western-style text font above it that reads 'pork chop.' "
"I'm 20 now and still sleep with it."
"It's a random pillow I saw in the mall when I was 2. I pointed at it and my mom bought it."
"I don't really like to keep a lot of things in my room. I give away a lot of stuff from my childhood but I can't let go of this one!"
- chwenotchews
"I love that! Really random but hey it’s what helps you sleep and that’s awesome."
- Civil-Scallion3503
Imgur
The Classics
"The classic one: my teddy bear."
"It's 30 cm high. Apparently I love my teddys to death because I have to buy a new one every couple years. Then I have to slowly adjust to the new one as it smells and feels different from the old one."
"Also I absolutely hate it when I need to wash it. It doesn't smell or feel like teddy, just like my washing stuff."
"I really love it and need it. It's there for me when I cry, sleep, am happy, watching shows. I carry it with me through my flat. Sometimes I talk to it."
"Yes, I am living alone. Yes, I am a grown-up woman. Yes I know it's weird but luckily my partner knows about teddy and accepts it."
"I also have a big teddy watching over me and sitting in my unused side of my double bed."
- Kaelysaa
"Grown man here."
"I have a teddy as well. Last time he was washed, Reagan was in office. What makes teddy, teddy. Is that fact he's been well-loved."
"New bears are nothing like well-loved bears. There is comfort, there is safety."
"I don't give a f*ck if the outside world would thinks I'm strange. There are people out there committing real crimes. I refuse to be bear shamed."
- LibertyBibbity
"When I was 31, I received my first ever teddy bear. I had always wanted one and cried for like an hour when I opened the box my aunt sent me."
"His name is Bear Bear. Sleep well with him."
- Slight-Ad-1744
A Rock
"A literal rock - not even kidding."
"Specifically a quartz crystal - like I'm not into crystal mythology or whatever, I just really like this one rock. It is A Cool Rock, I've had it since 2015."
"This sounds stupid, but it feels like it's a privilege to be able to have something around that is older than me, my family and everything I know."
"I got it dated once, and it turns out it's 66 million years old - it's very cool that I'm lucky enough to have found something so old that I got to attached to."
"All rocks are super old, and we just dismiss it. It's nice to keep an eye open and then if you find one you like, you can find out more about it by asking around geology departments like I did."
"I am a 29 year old man, bur adulthood sometimes involves having Cool Rocks"
- cripple2493
"Humans have been collecting shiny rocks forever, I like this one the most so far."
- Gildian
The Right White
"I have permanent tinnitus from taking ototoxic medication."
"I wear earbuds or headphones during the vast majority of my downtime."
"I cannot sleep without a fan running. I need white noise or I can't relax."
- RABBIT_3314
"I don't have tinnitus but my parents do and I grew up in a very small house."
"My mom always had a box fan on at night to drown out the tinnitus so she could sleep, and you could hear it in every room... now I can't sleep without a box fan either."
- Lumpy_Space_Princess
Elmo!
"I've got a relatively large Elmo doll."
"Not like a tickle me Elmo toy, all he has is stuffing inside so he's very soft."
"Had one when I was kid. It's nice having one now too."
- UltimateStrenergy
"For me it's a tiny little Elmo doll! I've had it for 24 years now."
- hannahbeliever
Elmo Hello GIF by Sesame StreetGiphyThey Cared Enough About A Stranger
"Back in 2017 I voluntarily admitted myself to a mental hospital for 11 days due to a really bad relapse into drug use."
"When they showed me to my room, on each bed was a small handmade blanket. I picked the bed I picked because one side of the blanket was red flannel and the other side is like nursery rhymes and it’s soft and so comfortable to lay with."
"It isn’t very big, it barely covers my torso, but the nurse who showed me to my bed told me the folks in the elderly care home down the road sew those blankets specifically for the people that come in to that hospital. They also make them for preemies at the nicu."
"It’s been five years and seven different places - and it will always stay on my pillow."
"Often I will fold it up and wrap it around my eyes when I’m feeling overwhelmed and I am reminded that someone who never met me, who never knew what brought me to that hospital bed… they made that blanket to comfort someone."
"They cared about a stranger enough to put their time and labor into this adorable little blanket and I cherish it."
- justhavinganap
Penis Face
"For Christmas my family plays a game where we trade around gag gifts and at the end the game the gift you end up with is the one you get. My oldest daughter has a dirty sense of humor."
"I now sleep with a 12"x12" plush penis."
"I tell people my penis is so big I can wrap my arms around it or lay my head on it. And damn if he doesn't have the cutest face on him. I am a 47 year old man, by the way."
- theomniconian
It Runs In The Family
"I have horrible sleeping problems because of my mental state so despite being 20 I still sleep with my llama plushie. His name is Menta (Hebrew for mint) and I love him dearly."
"I also have a few smaller plushies that are there to comfort me, two of them are realistic fish plushies in different sizes and they are both lawyers. They are father and son, it runs in the family."
"I’m not a marine biologist, so I don't know what they actually are - but they are awesome fishies."
- TomokaTheAxolotl
Fathers Day Hug GIF by DisneyGiphyLike A Baby
"I'm sleeping with my baby blanket now."
"It's made of some kind of thermal material, and it used to be white but is now a pretty unappealing gray color lol."
"It's older than I am, over thirty years. It's got so many holes in it due to childhood dogs biting it/me dragging it everywhere. One corner turned into a long rope like piece that I wrap around my fingers when zoning out."
"I sleep with it all the time. Its smell and feel calms me down."
"I can't wash it in machines or it will fall apart, so I hand wash it very rarely. It... gets pretty dirty from body oils I guess."
"I can't throw it out. The day I lose it or it gets damaged beyond repair will be a sad one."
- Stoobly
"My blankie."
"My mom bought it 9 years before I was born for a baby shower gift. For some reason she couldn’t bring herself to give it away. She bought another gift and put blankie in her closet."
"9 years later I was born and it’s been my comfort object for 37 years."
- MalaEnNova
The Vest
"After I wrecked my motorcycle, my best friend bought me a new vest because mine got destroyed."
"I wore it to bed every night and told everyone that I did so because it helped with the broken ribs (which it did, actually), but it was really because it was the only thing that helped with the crippling fear I had while I was concussed."
"Most of it I think had to do an identity crisis I was experiencing. Anyway, I don't sleep with it every night now, just when my anxiety gets bad. But it's always within arm's reach. Always."
"I also have a super soft sheepy squishmellow plush named Blossom that's usually floating around my bed. Lol"
- purplesheepy
It's your turn to get in on the action.
Do you have a cuddle buddy for bed time? If you're a parent - did you steal it from your kid? Be honest.
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Reddit user kellogg888 asked:
"People who don't sleep naked, why?"
We'll start with the obvious and maybe most relatable reason for people living with family - NOBDOY KNOWS HOW TO KNOCK!
Family Frustrations
knock the big bang theory GIFGiphy"Because family members don't know how to f*cking knock that's why."
- mishi-as-in-m
"Honestly mine don't either. I just let them learn their lesson."
"Don't knock? You see something that'll scare you for life. Your fault not mine. I have no shame."
- IF**kedYourDadd
"Family is it."
"I used to sleep naked and free and then got on the dating scene again. Dated a woman with kids and - you never know who's gonna have a bad dream and come cuddle - or what midnight emergency may come along."
"Now, even though I am no longer with a woman with kids - I stay prepared for midnight emergencies. Now that I can afford comfy PJ's it's really kind of nice."
"Also I'm not flat-bellied and twenty anymore."
- SomeFckingWizard
A Sweaty Situation
"If I have skin touching skin, it sweats a lot."
"I don't like to spread my arms and legs. I like to curl up in a ball on my side."
"My arms touch my sides. My stomach touches my upper thighs. My thighs touch each other. I don't want all of that to become a big hot sweaty mess."
- svenson_26
"This right here, I've tried sleeping naked before and every time it's been super uncomfortable cuz of this."
- Piemaster113
"Can confirm. There’s definitely a strong correlation between how naked I sleep and how sweaty I get."
- Stussydude
Woman.
"Woman. Blood."
- Halalamay
"General discharge too"
- PetiteEbonyDoll
"Yeah stuff comes out of me sometimes and I can’t have it roaming free in my bed"
- VermicelliHospital
"Trans man. Also blood lol"
- joyfulsoulcollector
"Also woman, my #1 reason is a likely irrational but nevertheless EXTREMELY strong fear of spiders crawling in somewhere they don't belong."
- jcpianiste
It's Cold
"I am always cold!"
"Some nights I even layer 2 pairs of socks. Meanwhile my Fiancé is sleeping in the same room just his undies."
- interruptingcow_moo
"No kidding."
"My wife had a hysterectomy which forced her into menopause, so her temperature regulation is f'ed up to say the least. Hot flashes are a way of life."
"I had to put a window AC unit in put bedroom so she wouldn't die."
"Me? I have all the covers, a fleece blanket, flannel lounge pants and a shirt during the summer so I can sleep. If I don't have all that I will freeze to death."
- rock_vbrg
"My fiancee sleeps naked, I don't mind. But I also don't understand it..."
"Like HOW are you not freezing??"
"I have very comfy, very warm sleepwear. Heck, sometimes if it's really cold, I'll wear a whole sweater to bed. Or steal her blanket."
"So I have lazy-sleep clothes, a sweater AND two blankets to sleep with and she's there just naked and comfy."
- Hjemi
Emergency Exits
"What if a there’s an earthquake in the middle of night and I have to run?"
- IcmCoffee
"My uncle used to sleep naked. Until his trailer caught fire in the middle of the night and he had to run butt naked to some old woman's house and convince her to open the door or call 911."
"Didn't help that he's a gun guy, so all his ammo was firing in the background."
"I was a kid when this happened. The whole idea just makes me nervous."
- avamarie
"One night my wife and I were having sexy time that ended with us going to sleep naked. The next morning we were woken up early by a 5.7 magnitude earthquake."
"There we are, both naked, trying to get to our two kids, not get hurt by things falling down/broken glass."
"My wife vowed to never sleep naked again as she now has a fear of earthquakes and I now have a hate of earthquakes since they took naked cuddles away from me."
- Arosland3
"We had a house fire a few weeks ago. I was so thankful that I was wearing leggings that night and my husband was wearing sweatpants."
"That gave us at least a days worth of clothes before we could hit Target for another outfit."
- MyNameIsntFlower
Paintbrushing
True Story Art GIFGiphy"Because the tip of my penis touching the bedding drives me insane."
- dingbatyokel5000
"Agreed. I told my girlfriend it feels like my penis is 'paint brushing' the bed."
- minidude140
"Or when I shift positions and my meat and veg all rearrange into a new lineup on my other leg. The feeling is just distracting. I'd rather have them in a nice soft support hammock."
- AbsolutelyUnlikely
"This."
"It's like when you wear those horrible PE shirts back in school and had to run around a lot. The nipple burn... but on my penis."
"No thanks."
- cloudxnine
Vulnerability
"It makes me feel too vulnerable. Even though I’m totally safe, I just feel too exposed."
- LunaValley
"Ah so much scrolling to find this."
"My mind gets restless with made up scenarios until I’m like 'ok, I’ll put some soft pajamas on' and then I fall asleep instantly."
- zarillo2
"It’s the same for me."
"I wish I could feel comfortable enough to do it, but I just don’t feel right trying to sleep naked. The few times I tried, I always woke up in the middle of the night shivering and feeling anxious."
- swarlossupernaturale
"Yes! Thank you for understanding! I don't feel safe if I'm exposed and as a result can't sleep. I know I'm in my own house and totally safe, it's just this weird vulnerability thing."
- sharkittens
A Renaissance Fest Battle Axe
"I slept naked for a long time and I was always waking up hot or cold. Pajamas fixed the issue."
"There was also that time a drunk neighbor broke in and took the blankets off me and tried to kiss me."
"We were friends with the neighbor and would hang out on the back patio smoking. We’d walk to the wing place and eat. He would always go to his place to use the bathroom."
"One night he used ours and took the opportunity to unlock the front door that nobody used. He asked to borrow my roommates phone and she agreed and just told him to leave it on the porch when he was done."
"At about 5am I woke up with no covers on and he was whispering in my ear to kiss him just once."
"I grabbed the renaissance fest battle axe by my bed and swung and he ran. I went out of my room and my roommate heard the noise and she came out to find me naked with an axe."
"Then she found her phone in her room - he had been in there."
"We didn’t see him for a week and when he showed up he was arrested for something drug related. He left his dog on our porch. Eventually we found his mom and gave her the dog."
"I don't sleep naked."
- Antigravity1231
Pets
"I don't want my dog to be nosing around."
- kingswing77
"Used to sleep naked until my cat chomped on a ball."
"Very rude awakening. No damage but now boxer briefs keep the dangly bits from dangling in my sleep."
- Wezbob
"I too sleep with a dog in the bed. He licks my fingers to wake me up."
"Too many variables. You get the point."
- pacawac
"Similar. My puppy likes to sleep under the blanket and also thinks my junk is a chew toy."
"Well, he thinks everything is, but my junk is the most concerning."
- Rohndogg1
Never-nudes of the sleep world, why DON'T you sleep in the buff?
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