Texas is HUGE!
Literally, it's massive. That might be why the tagline is about everything being big. Oh the metaphors of life.
Next to size is heat. Lord is it hot there.
Those are just a few of the regular Texas deets that often come to mind.
What else do others think of?
Redditor Common-Transition973 wanted to compare notes on everyone's thoughts about the Lonestar state.
They asked:
"Non Texans , what are your thoughts when you hear 'Texas?'"
I've been to Texas once. Austin. It was cute.
Shaped
"Literally just the shape of the state itself as seen from a map or something."
BirbMaster1998
All Love Baby
"I’ve been through Texas a few times and the thing that stood out to me was how much people in Texas love talking about how much they love Texas. I had a beer at the Dallas airport when I was waiting for a friends plane and it was a Budweiser bottle but instead of Budweiser the label said Texas on it."
"Diners would serve Texas shaped pancakes. Every gas station had a section for Texas swag- everything from tee shirts to shot glasses to hats to magnets and other Knick knacks."
Giphy"I’ve always found New Yorkers to be obnoxious with how much they talk about how much better they are than everyone else, but Texas is actually on another level. So, I guess when I think of Texas, I think of a bunch of people yelling 'I f**kin' love Texas'."
duh_metrius
BBQ
"Barbecue, don’t get me wrong we’ve got it here in the UK but it’s nothing like what I’ve seen from across the pond. Burnt ends, beef ribs, smoked brisket. I’ve only ever seen it on YouTube and I envy those of you who have tasted it."
LWA7299
"Honestly when I went to Texas and tried the bbq, at both that big well known place and a 'mom and pop' place that my airbnb hosts said was the best in the city. It was... Good. Like it was tasty and all, but just they way people talk about it like its some kind of religious experience or that it's just so different and unlike bbq in other countries, but it wasn't. Its still just meat + dry rub + sauce and I've had comparable bbq in London."
GDPR_Violation
No Skittles
"My Texas is essentially one of those m&m characters. I picture him with those big oval eyes and white limbs. The color of this Texas-shaped m&m is 'American flag.' He’s got a cowboy hat, a piece of wheat sticking out of his mouth, and a perfectly groomed mustache. He’s just walking around in his cowboy boots with his Ak-47 in tow. He vehemently hates the skittles."
comradekitty__
Complete Crazy
"In my native Norwegian the term 'complete Texas' means chaos or out of control."
Algorithmix9
Panic Omg GIFGiphyTexas means so much in so many ways.
Perfection
"Cadillacs with giant horns on the front driven by old men in white suits with big white cowboy hats and superbly trimmed mustaches."
Spare-Cap-3152
season 6 welcome to austin GIF by PortlandiaGiphy'gone Texas'
"In my company (in a country on the opposite side of the planet from Texas), 'gone Texas' is a term used to describe a software program that has frozen up to the point where even Task Manager can't abort it. Otherwise we don't think about it very much, except perhaps with mild horror."
NinaCulotta
Taglines
"Heavyset white people with guns and large cowboy hats yelling 'DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS!'"
OhEeAyTaleSpin88
"My favorite part of 'Don’t mess with Texas’ is that comes across as this slogan about how tough and bada** Texans are, but in reality it was an effective anti-littering campaign from the department of transportation."
Extremists
"Militant Evangelicals."
skootch_ginalola
"Man, as a Muslim in a secular country, is always a ride seeing posts about republicans go on about something something shariah law, something something freedom, something Obama... And then two posts later, there's a r/nottheonion post about Texas basically being white Taliban."
Deadpotatoz
Well there is still a lot of good in Texas. You just have to dig deep.
Size matters.
Get your mind out of the gutter people.
I'm talking on a grander scale.
We think we know how big something is, but we're always shocked to discover actual size.
Redditorzioooo_wanted to get the measuring stick for all of us to make some adjustments.
They asked:
"What's something people don't realize the actual size of until they stand next to it?"
I'm always stunned by buildings. Buildings are always big but then there are BIG buildings.
Water Peeps
"Manta rays. I recently saw one at an aquarium, and I was blown away by the size. I’d always assumed they were about the size of stingrays or so. Nope, those suckers are the size of a small car."
LargestD**kus
Watching Manta Ray GIFGiphyBelow
"Any pit mining equipment. It’s insane!"
Fit-Contribution2527
"My husband used to work at a steel mill and they use a lot of mining equipment like front end loaders and such that are massive but there was one vehicle that looked to be the size of a two story house and I can't remember what it was. The pot carrier is also terrifying because the driver is moving around with a pot of molten steel over the cab."
imnotacrazyperson
gentle giants...
"Giraffes! Worked with them and they are gentle giants but it’s crazy that they’re the size they are. You know they’re big and tall, but then you stand next to one and you’re like... damn, I can walk under through his legs and my head won’t even touch his belly."
You are HUGE!
"A moose."
LollipopThrowAway
"Yes! Omg I was so shocked when I saw one in person the first time. Mostly because it was on a residential road and it startled me. But also because I always pictured them to be like a very large deer or something, but it was closer to the size of an elephant than a deer!"
OffModelCartoon
Stoned
"One of the stones which make up the Great Pyramid of Giza."
myexistentialcrisis0
art loop GIF by Blobby BarackGiphyI wanna see the pyramids so bad. Then climb to the top.
Unexpected
"Wind turbines are bigger than expected when standing next to it. And Mount Rushmore is way smaller than I expected."
PointyWombat
States Selfie GIF by Ethan BarnowskyGiphyDrifting in the Wind
"Round hay bales."
agreatusernameisthis
"I like it when they use white and pink wrapping on hay bales. It looks like giant marshmallows dotted across the countryside."
the_artful_breeder
"When my kids were little, I told them that the round hay bales were mommy hohos. The ones we bought at the grocery store were baby hohos. Dang, now I want a hobo."
Wynterborne
On the Highway
"Highway signs are much larger than you might expect. https://m.imgur.com/a/g6yMU"
Alt_aholic
"Highway lines as well. I live on a rural highway that has two lanes and I have to cross it to get to my mailbox. They are like seven feet long. Also the rumble strips along the side of the road are bigger than my size 12 foot."
dreamnightmare
I've seen plenty of big things...
"The Taj Mahal. I had seen the pictures and I've seen plenty of big things, it's by no means the biggest (I actually saw the Burj Khalifa less than a week before the Taj Mahal). What blows your mind though is the massive scale as it contrasts with the extremely fine detail. I mean it's an absolutely massive building and the detail work is unreal. Really mind bending and the pictures don't do it justice."
Pokoire
Big Men
"An NFL lineman. I literally bumped into Josh Sweat of the Eagles a few years back in a grocery store (felt like hitting a concrete pillar) and I really cannot put into words how freaking huge these people are."
Zhuul
sweating red wings GIFGiphyI always thought traffic lights were suspicious. I'd be afraid if they fell.
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They say good things come in small packages—as a lifelong member of the "Never hit 5 feet tall" club it's a phrase I've had thrown at me often.
It's right up there with "small but mighty" and "people mcnugget."
It's popular because there's a fair bit of truth to it, though.
When it comes to some things, smaller is just flat out better.
Reddit user RasheenHyuga asked:
"What’s something that’s better when it’s smaller?"
We expected—and skipped over—the talk about butt stuff. Nobody is here to shame the size queens.
We did not, unfortunately, expect nor skip over the stuff about spiders.
We had to read it, so now you do too.
Differing Dad Approaches
"Pills/capsules shaped medicines."
"I have this difficulties swallowing hard capsules/tablets, if I'm aware."
"My dad used to hide them into fruits so I was not too anxious about it and not too bitter if I had to chew them."
-laffinator
"As a child, my father said that I’d need to learn how to dry-swallow pills in case there’s a world war & clean water is rationed."
- jesusbabygirl·
GiphyTiny Pets
"Kittens and puppies. They’re so cute when they’re tiny and I just wanna pick them up and hug them all!"
-bobcatnat123
"Kittens, because when they grow up, they become bitches."
- MrFroggys
"I'm gonna get hate but dogs."
"I really like little dogs because they're like little wolves...but not! They're pocket companions and, if trained properly, can be well behaved and loving!"
"Yeah, having a large dog that can do stuff is awesome - but having a mini wolf you can shove in your back pack and take wherever is even cooler in my opinion. You'll never be alone because they're portable!"
"On a subway? Pocket dog."
"In a store? Pocket dog."
"Riding a bike? Pocket dog."
- CosmosFactor
GiphyUno!
"The amount of Uno cards you're holding"
-saikopasu_neko28
"I wouldn't mind a few more if they are all wild cards"
--nogoodusernames0_0
"Especially if it’s a plus 4 or plus 2!"
- Thecrazytrainexpress
"The amount of Uno cards you're holding - while also remembering to say Uno on the last card. Learn from my mistakes..."
- poopellar
GiphyBills, Bills, Bills
"Bills."
-Resistycometostrike
"A duck would disagree with you."
-smnow
"Hospital bills in the USA is the obvious answer."
- No_Comedian_9677
"With the hospital bills in the US right now, I totally agree."
"I got some old painkillers, tweezers, hydrogen peroxide, liquor, gauze & duct tape. I'll be fine."
- bleezzzy
GiphyThe Small C
"Cancer."
"It's never good, but it's better if it's smaller. I had a low grade Glioma (pre-cancer, caught it early) scraped/removed out of my skull, hell ya!"
"Statistically 60% of people don’t know they have one until they have the first seizure. That's what happened to me but I had other symptoms like light sensitivity, vision rainbows, exhaustion, insomnia, etc."
"I work on a computer everyday and I happen to have light sensitive eyes. One day I had a seizure."
"Lots of tests, MRIS, cat scans, pet scan, brain scans. They found a mass of brain that was explained as a “black mold” of brain matter."
"Surgeon suggested removing it sooner rather than watching it slowly grow over time."
- TastelessDonut
"My cancer was caught on a mammogram when it was too small for even my doctors to feel, and it was right under my skin."
- notthesedays
GiphyNo Good Stones
"Kidney stones."
"I've never had one, just figured bigger object through peepee = more pain."
-Manekosan
"Fun fact I learned from experience: smaller kidney stones are way easier to pass, but the pain of them getting to that point can be far more severe because they're more likely to be jagged in structure."
"Suffice to say I agree with this one, but only just barely cause nonexistent is the best size for a kidney stone. That sh*t hurts. lmao"
-eltanin_rastaban
"Aaahh, human pearls."
- KrAzY_TsEnG
GiphySpeaking Truths Over Here
"Potato wedges are crispier and have an overall better taste when they're smaller."
-CLTalbot
"First answer I have read that isn't just making a bad thing smaller but rather is increasing how good something is"
-MrGoogabonomon
"Yes. See? A real answer. Something I can apply to my life. Unlike philosophical moral truths and magic shrinking debt."
- CombustibleA1
GiphyLiteral Small Packages
"I'm a postal worker - packages. If it fits in your box, fuck yeah. Time saved."
-BeechCow
"I replaced my street side mailbox a few years ago. No real need to but I put in a much larger box."
"My postman stopped one day and thanked me for doing it."
-richg0404
"F*ck yeah, I love it when my postal worker fits their package in my box."
- Kerrigore
"That reminds me of a jazz song called 'I'm Your Mailman' "
"It's about postal workers and yes, there's LOTS of innuendo."
- BeechCow
GiphyYummy
"M&Ms"
"Mini m&ms are so much better in my opinion."
-ArkhamBookworm
"Damn I used to live mini M&Ms but they stopped selling them in my country."
"The tube they used to come in now comes with the regular size m&ms, which makes no sense cause you barely get any. What the hell is up with that?"
- crnhs
GiphyNo Anus
"Spiders and all arthropods"
-Background_Egg1364
"Are you sure? Demodex is a genus of tiny mites that live in or near hair follicles of mammals."
"Around 65 species of Demodex are known. Two species live on humans: Demodex folliculorum and Demodex brevis, both frequently referred to as eyelash mites, alternatively face mites or skin mites."
"They have no anus so they just live in your eyelash follicles until their own sh*t makes their exoskeleton burst and they die."
"You probably have some living on you right now, they're just too small for you to see."
-doublestitch
GiphyOK, you know ... we were all good until the poopsploding mites that live on your eyelids.
Somebody always has to make it weird on Reddit.
I'm starting to wonder if it's a secret by-law or something.
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Students Share The Most Hilarious Incorrect Answer They've Heard In Class
Nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes, teachers and students alike. The classroom is one of the most interesting places. Not everything the teacher says is Gospel and more often than not what stumbles out of the mouth of a student will sound more like a punchline than knowledge. But there is always knowledge in the answers, right or wrong. And often a response can be shocking and hilarious.
Redditor u/6456290 wanted to hear what the kids today are hearing in class.... What is the most hilariously incorrect thing a teacher told your class?