While dating can be a wonderful experience, it can also be unnecessarily complicated and not all it's cracked up to be.
For some, it's simply easier to remain single and independent, rather than to be left guessing by a potential partner.
Redditor chewysnacc asked:
"What is stopping you from getting a partner right now?"
Lack of Communication
"It kinda seems like everyone I meet and am interested in is already dating/in a situation with someone. I get plenty of connections on dating apps but they usually just stop replying."
- TwoChaptersIn
Missed Opportunities
"I’m too shy and don’t meet new people. My life is a cycle of waking up, university, sleep, and when I get opportunities, I don’t take them."
- Arcofly
Grief Takes a Toll
"I just lost my wife after years of illness and have no desire for another relationship."
- gtnair
"It's been four years now since her death after a three and a half year fight that she put up. We spent 12 years together and I still just can't bring myself to really go out there again when all I want is her back."
- Anunnaki2522
Feeling Unworthy
"Being a 62-year-old dishwasher with no money."
- thomas4004
"I met my current partner while I was a dishwasher. There are people out there for everyone. Don't focus on what you don't have."
- JustwantedAUsername
In Need of a Solo Journey
"I'm just not ready for one. The biggest reason is laziness, probably."
"The idea of being in a relationship is way more appealing than the actual responsibilities involved in my current stage. Relationships take work, and I'm not gonna just half-a** it like an a**hole when I can't guarantee that I'd fully commit."
"I'd just be wasting somebody's time and that's not fair to them. Plus, there are plenty of things that I'm already not putting enough time into that are way more pressing.""
- PEEWUN
"Yeah. I hear this."
"It’s not necessarily that I’m too lazy to get into a relationship and be with someone. Instead, after six months, I start becoming 'lazy' and want to do my own things by myself waaaaay more frequently, and it’s pushed every girl I’ve been with away."
"I’m probably destined to remain single. However, I’ve become entirely content with that. Sometimes I do miss having a partner and the advantages of having a partner, but those reasons are purely selfish on my own part."
"Partly blame being an only child with parents that both worked 60+ hours a week. I’m far from upset by it though. Instead, I cherish the fact that I can be nearly 100% content being alone."
- Blacksheepoftheworld
Self-Improvement Era
"Just got out of a toxic relationship where we both played our part in being toxic. I‘m currently working on myself so it doesn’t happen in my next relationship again."
- Crounty
"I'm working on myself. I'm in no position to date anybody and have nothing substantial to give another person right now. I need everything I have to fix me."
- scienceforbid
Procrastination: The Dating Edition
"Pragmatically speaking? Nothing really, maybe some internalized form of procrastination?"
"I keep myself decently well-maintained mentally, emotionally, and physically. Career-wise/professionally, I've built myself up as a pretty well-rounded person and although I've still got a ways to go, I'm decently stable with my currently established work-life balance."
"And I'm also a decently well-socialized person who interacts well with the public, can hold a conversation, and is decent at paying attention to social cues and body language."
"If I actually tried to get into the dating game, I'm decently confident that I could do okay for myself and my partner; but I guess I just haven't had a reason to actually take that initiative step..."
- mythrilcrafter
The Introvert Has Entered the Chat
"My pathetic social battery and conversational skills."
- Capt-N3M0
Updated Priorities
"I'm divorced with a three-year-old boy in my mid-30s."
"It’s a minefield out here, and my threshold for nonsense is way lower than my threshold for loneliness."
- ChickensPickins
Ableist Thinking
"My wheelchair. I’m completely self-sufficient and independent. I’m a moderately attractive 29-year-old male, I’m in good shape and have a very active and athletic background."
"Girls simply won’t look past it and treat me like a human. I don’t identify as a wheelchair or as disabled, I identify as human, treat me like one."
- DocShaayy
Wrong Place, Wrong Time
"I don't go to places where it is socially acceptable to approach women often. I hate loud a** clubs, don't go to many concerts, and really don't go to bars much. I don't really have a friend group, either. Even when I do go, I don't even know how to do it. I can talk to them, but that never goes anywhere."
- HooterEnthusiast
Prioritizing Trust
"Just some trust issues and with no one around me who is genuinely interested in getting a long-lasting relationship."
- lilac_skyy
Dating in Real-Time
"Maybe it's just not the right time for me."
- common_Database_1322
"Sitcoms and tv/social make everything appear like it happens fast."
"Time in real life is an important factor."
"'Right Now' only works for people who have the privilege to choose and we all know if you have the privilege to choose, you have the power to wait."
"Life is crazy."
- typesett
Social Cues
"I am a high functioning Autistic and have issues interacting with strangers. My looks are good enough to get dates with women I find attractive, but they are generally put off by my lack of eye contact and I'm unable to tell if they like me or not."
"I've actually botched quite a few dates where I thought they weren't into me, but I thought we'd make good friends so I stated so. They stopped talking to me after that."
- MrStealYoBichonFrise
A New Season in Life
"Just got out of a marriage with someone I’ve spent 12 years with. I’m starting to enjoy my new freedom. I get to do what I want when I want. I don’t have to worry about explaining any purchases. I’ve been able to give up weed since I’m not around her."
"Even though it was a traumatic experience initially, I’m starting to thrive and my friends and family have noticed a difference in my attitude and anxiety. Even though she was a big part of my life and I still feel love for her, it’s becoming clear that our time together has come to an end. We were what we needed for that season in life."
"Plus I got an awesome kid out of it."
- No_Key_6276
This conversation was a great reminder of how similar we all are, in the sense of experiencing insecurities and living through parts of our lives when it's more important to work on ourselves than to develop a new relationship.
But there was hope in these responses, as well. Most of these reasons are temporary, but even if they are long-lasting, there are others who have managed to date under those same conditions.
Let's be real here: people can be nosy. We all know it's true. We also know nosy people ask nosy questions.
Sometimes, the intent isn't malicious, but that doesn't make the questions any less hurtful.
Other times, the question's intention is clearly meant to embarrass or demean. One of the rudest questions that come of this question is asking why you are still single.
There is nothing wrong with being single, whether it's by choice or not, but you would never know, thanks to the number of times this question gets thrown around. What we need is a response that would shut them down and stop them cold, so you'll never get asked the questions again -- at least, not by the same person.
That was probably the thought behind the question Redditor Bright-Dig-6665 asked:
"What is the best response to "Why are you still single?""
There were some truly inspired responses!
The Movie Line
"Go full on Cher from Clueless: "you see how picky I am about my shoes, and they only go on my feet!"
– FifiLaFifi
Tragedy
"I was thinking “all my fiancé’s keep dying.”"
– ArltheCrazy
Self-Deprecation
"I have the social skills of a spoon"
– Its-Slammin
Grateful
"Just lucky, I guess!"
– malachai926
Rude Comment for a Rude Question
"My response last time was "How are you not?""
– Scooby-seriouslydont
The Commiseration
"So that you don’t feel left out."
– Herdzikberg
The Freak Out Kick Out
"Who the f**k are you? Get the hell out of my house!"
– Buleflavoredpickle
Insanity
"The voices in my head tend to get jealous very easily"
– generictrashlady
Because I Know Better
"When my sister got married, my niece, 17, asked me, "How does it feel to be the only one of your siblings not married?"
"I simply replied, "Well, unlike them I have standards." Her father, my brother, was right there :)"
– JMCatron
It's My Life
"Because having another adult who has any say in the course of my adult life is obnoxious"
– HouseMDeezNuts
That last one is appropriately pointed. Any of these responses are sure to get those nosy people off your back. I can't wait to try a couple out myself!
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It's been a few years since I was in a steady relationship and you know what? It's actually been really great. One of the perks of being single is that in spending time alone you can figure out who you are and what you want.
The nice thing is that I'm much more confident now than I was years back. Whoever my next partner is–watch out! I'm awesome!
There's much to enjoy about being single.
People shared their experiences and advice after Redditor anonymouslygirly19 asked the online community:
"What are the pros of being single?"
"You are accountable to no one!"
"You are accountable to no one! Eat, drink, do, spend, feel whatever you want. Be weird. Be gross. Be free of judgment and expectations. Your space is entirely your own. Nobody else's emotions are yours to manage."
"Also, free to move as you wish, travel as you wish. It's great. It's not all roses, but I quite appreciate it."
FuriousGeorgeGM
Excellent points, especially the ones about being able to move and travel at your leisure. The best.
"I love being able..."
"I love being able to make any decision I want without consulting someone else and making sure they're on board."
StrangeAlarming1421
Yes, everything becomes a negotiation. I don't miss that right now.
"I went to visit family..."
"I went to visit family and spent a few days at a resort by myself. Best vacation ever."
bunnyrut
Now that sounds great! I need to do that myself in the coming months...
"My secret ability..."
"My secret ability to somehow be about 5 feet tall but take up an entire king size bed makes for one of my favorite things about being single."
angelicism
Ah, yes. I have a queen size bed and it's a magical feeling.
"You can make dinner..."
"You can make dinner for two and then eat it whole."
biryanieveryday
Ah, I already do this.
I'm ahead of the curve!
"Not having to think..."
"Not having to think about how your actions affect your partner."
Normalizezteroids
It IS pretty nice not having to worry about what another person thinks, that's for sure.
"You can be gross..."
"Freedom. You can be gross, travel, spend money on anything, decorate, eat anything, basically just be completely selfish to whatever degree you like."
ItsColeonReddit
Freedom is wonderful! It's been a few years of this and let me tell you, they've been fun.
"I can stay up late..."
"No one’s in your business 24/7. I can stay up late with the lamp on reading. I can watch whatever film I like. I can eat whatever I want for dinner. I can go about my day without stepping on eggshells or having to consider someone else. At this point in my life, it’s complete bliss."
pinnsneedless
Good for you! It sounds like you've found what works for you.
"I do not miss..."
"No obligation. I do not miss being dragged into things I have zero interest in. The expectation to always be on their side, no matter their actions. I called out an ex for being a hypocrite and they got pissed at me."
"Do I WANT to be single? Not really. Would I rather be single, than with someone I have little in common with? Hell. Yes."
DefinitelyNotAtWork
It sounds like you're better off, so enjoy being single while you can!
"I'm not going to..."
"I’m not going to cheat on myself and leave myself emotionally devastated. Again. Also, if I have to divorce myself, I just get all my own money."
Miss-Indi-Cisive
Cheating can emotionally devastate a partner. Sorry that happened to you and hopefully you're better now.
Hey, single people! Don't feel sad. There's much to appreciate in your position. Believe me, there are plenty of people out there who are in relationships and are no doubt envious.
Have some experiences of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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People Share Their Best Response To The Dreaded 'Why Don't You Have A Boyfriend?' Question
Single people can be thrown the most invasive questions. So of course, they have to find witty answers. This is partially to save face, but also to make the other person embarrassed for even asking.
u/Loveablealienstitch asked: What's the best response to "Why don't you have a boyfriend?"
Not gay.
For the last time mom, I'm not gay.
The GD question just won't go away And I get asked every single day But the way they ask it is not a disguise Like, "how was your day, do you like to kiss guys?"
Do you need it or just want it?
Giphy"Do you need me to have a boyfriend?"
But what if they say "yes because you look miserable" or something like that, then what?
Get wrecked.
Your dad stopped returning my calls.
Not sure I can use that with my grandparents...
Where'd he go?
Look extremely shocked.
"I... I don't? Where did he go?!"
Then walk away.
"Don't you see him? He's right beside you". said in a very creepy/crazy voice also works
Disappointment.
"Because people don't usually volunteer to be disappointed."
"Let's go to the un-amusement park!" - nobody ever.
No green thumb.
Giphy"I don't have a green thumb! All my plants and boyfriends keep dying!"
I'll give it a go. I've never been killed.
What a hunk.
I do, he's in the refrigerator. Want a slice?
Gives a new definition to "My boyfriend is a hunk... of meat."
Now yes, love is a wonderful thing. Finding your second half, your "other" to complete you is a beautiful thing. But if that hasn't been your journey thus far, don't feel bad. Being single, not alone, SINGLE is a very healthy choice. Sometimes love, or what we perceive as love can ruin you. We're all trained by society to believe that being single makes us unworthy and nothing could be farther from the truth.
Redditor u/05_16k wanted to here about the upside to the single life by asking.... Singles of Reddit, what do you like most about being single?