Red Flags That Signal Someone Wasn't Raised Right
"Reddit user spirallinggg asked: 'What immediately tells you that a person wasn't raised right?'"
Parents are meant to teach offspring how to survive in this world.
They're meant to guide us on how to be a good member of society.
But either some parents fail, or too many adults don't get the message.
And all that can lead to a mighty dysfunctional adult.
Redditor spirallinggg wanted to hear about the ways we can decipher if others have bad parenting, so they asked:
"What immediately tells you that a person wasn't raised right?"
Basic human decency is a sign of a good upbringing.
Garbage
"They throw trash out a car window."
shershae
"I live on a busy road and I’m so sick of people throwing their trash in front of my house. Some guy tosses out a tall boy beer nearly every workday. I can’t wait to move. Also- so many cigarette butts! We live in a high fire hazard area so I’m worried one of these days they’ll start a fire. I try to go pick up litter twice a month."
Pinkmongoose
Random Aisles
"People who dump refrigerated grocery products on random aisles."
glockops
"I work in a grocery store. The best one I saw was someone who ordered a hot pizza from our pizza station, which is made-to-order. Then abandoned it in the cooler with the refrigerated take-and-bake pizzas we have."
"I get finding stuff from our service case abandoned, it's already cold and our prices are much higher than some people think (the last abandoned item I found was a $20 container of our fresh fruit salad [which comes in pre-cut]), but the pizza station has set menu prices, they should have known what they were getting into before they ordered."
weedtrek
Be Responsible
"Lack of personal accountability. they can never admit wrongdoing on their part. it's always someone else's fault."
Sona-kin
I always told my kids that a mistake doesn't define who you are... but what you do AFTER the mistake DOES. We're human. We're gonna screw up throughout our lives. It's unavoidable. What we can control, however, is choosing to apologize, fix the situation, make amends, etc."
nakedwithoutmyhoodie
Rude
Mean Girls Gossip GIF by Paramount Movies Giphy"When they talk badly about someone who hasn’t done anything wrong behind their back."
flowerzforthedead
THIS. I've seen coworkers talking behind the backs of new employees and drawing conclusions about every aspect of their lives. Like, you've seen that person for three days, you MF.
Cold-Load-4388
If you can't say it to their face, then don't say it.
Why do people have to crap talk?
Check Please
Escalate Customer Service GIF by FILMRISE Giphy"Being super rude to people in any service profession. There is a time and place for actual, appropriate complaints but I see people constantly abuse service staff for no damn reason. Hell, even using 'please' and 'thank you' seems beyond some people. Bums me out."
CaptainLawyerDude
Others
"Lack of consideration for others."
NewVAinvestor1
"A lot of people do not fundamentally understand other people exist. They understand things exist. They understand those things should be referred to as people. But they do not understand those things have an entire existence and experience all their own exactly like them."
Sh3lls
No!
"When they can't take no for an answer."
NerdyPlaneResident
"I'm going to step up and admit to being guilty of this. For the longest time, I had it in my head that persistence pays off. Some of that was pop culture, some of that was tenacity in other areas of my life being rewarded, and then applying that to interpersonal relationships. Older and wiser me, though is more along the lines of learning to let go. It's still a struggle though, working against that original conditioning."
SergeantPsycho
Professions
"When someone looks down at others based on what they do. That just clearly shows that they've learned the same thing from their caregivers."
Leekayleigh_
"Oh yes. My husband took on a second job doing pizza deliveries. A few people laughed at him doing that at his age. They don't laugh when he explains his main job is simple and, deliveries are just driving blasting tunes and adds $900 a month after tax to our income. Then they see all the travel. Usually shuts them up."
CurvePuzzleheaded361
Offensive
For Real Wow GIF by DeStorm Giphy"Zero manners."'
Fuzzteam7
"I took a guy to a family beach condo because he says he never goes to the beach. Let him tag along with our group. Never said thank you one time. I dropped him back off at his house, and I said can you at least say thanks, he was so offended I asked or was trying to force a thank you."
berrey7
"BUT"
"When someone apologizes, and then adds a but onto it. For example, my boss held a meeting among the kitchen staff where he apologized for his attitude, and then added 'But you guys need to understand that I'm a no-bulls**t kind of person.' No sir, that's not how apologies work."
GimmickInfringement1
I hate a BUT.
Either you mean what you offer or don't say it.
People Break Down The Most Obvious Hints A Woman Was Interested In Them That They Missed
When meeting someone you're interested in, it's always best to avoid coming on too strong.
Doing so will likely not entice them to join you for a drink or coffee, but instead scare them away.
This is why it's always a good idea to subtly suggest your interest, by planting seeds and hints.
Of course, you don't want to be too subtle, as then your paramour might actually miss the fact you are interested in them, and move on to someone else.
Then too, some people have trouble taking the hint when it's practically staring them in the face.
"What's the most obvious hint a girl was interested in you but you missed all the signs?"
If She Wanted To "Study" She Would Have Stayed In The Living Room
"I was invited to her apartment to study on a Saturday night."
"After a little, she closed her door, we were on her bed."
"And we studied a little more until I left."- tryggvi747
Read Beauty And The Beast GIFGiphyBody Heat, Maybe?
"My now wife gives me sh*t about this all the time so it's safe to share here."
"Back when we were dating, it was a cold winter's night and she texted that she was cold and if there was anything I could do to warm her up."
"I offered to plastic seal her windows."
"Yeah I totally missed that pitch."- rcowie
Love And Basketball...
"I ran into a girl who I knew a little through some friends."
"We were talking and she randomly asked if I wanted to play one-on-one basketball with her that afternoon."
"I had nothing else to do, so I said yes."
"We walked to her place to pick up a ball and for her to get changed."
"In her room, she handed me the basketball and then started undressing."
"I excused myself outside the door while she changed."
"She then held conversation with me while she got dressed in my line of sight."
"Then she asked 'So do you want to go, or... ?'"
"And oblivious me said 'Yeah, sure, let's shoot some hoops'."
"In hindsight, there was a lot of one-sided flirting on the court and afterward she again invited me to her place to cool down."
"But I declined, as I was sweaty and I went home to shower."- elevenghosts
Sanaa Lathan Movie GIF by filmeditorGiphyWait For It...
"Looked up at me while clinging to my arm and stating, 'I could definitely see myself dating someone like you'."
"My brain was like, 'Neat! Maybe one day I'll find a girl who wants to go out with me after all!'"
"She continued this rather affectionate clinging for about a week, constantly holding on to my arm and making puppy dog eyes up at me."
"After that week, my friend asked her out and she accepted."
"They dated for two weeks before they discovered that they were blood-related first cousins."
"Then they continued dating for another week."- cascade_olympus
Good For Her For Being Confident?
"We had been hanging out for a bit and she was talking about how nice her t*ts were, she then follows it with 'maybe I should just show them to you'."
"'Oh no you don't need to do that!'"
"Luckily she really liked me and kept the press on for a few more weeks haha."
"We got married a few years later."- iamStanhousen
In Case You Wondered If It Really Impairs Your Judgement...
"My time to shine!"
"I was in college in the early 90's and sitting in my dorm room alone."
"I was high as hell."
"The hot girl down the hall that I had a crush on and spoke to occasionally came to my room and asked if I would watch her dance routine that was her final for her dance class."
"I was like 'sure' and went to her room."
"The room was dark except for some red lighting."
"I sat on the couch and she put on 'Enigma'."
"This was a VERY clear sign that I missed completely."
"She began her dance."
"She was in a unitard and I was totally hot for this girl."
"She did what I would now consider a personal lap dance for me."
"I was petrified with lust over the whole thing."
"When the song was over she came over to me, about 2 inches from my face sexy smiling and said, 'How was that?'"
"I looked at her and said, 'that was really cool, you'll do great', and left."
"I. LEFT."
"I walked back to my room and left."
"YEARS later I was driving my car to work, just daydreaming, like you do, and that memory popped up."
"I would have kicked myself had I been able to."- Luder714
Maybe She Would Have Been Better Off With 'Diego'?
"I was in a Starbucks in Argentina, and the girl taking my order asked my name to write on the cup."
"She didn't understand what I said, and when I picked the cup up, it said 'Diego', which isn't my name."
"Later that night I was chatting with a cute 20-something girl in the bar and I retold that story, and she looked at me with sultry eyes, her top slightly undone, and said something like 'what would Diego do with me tonight that <your name> wouldn't?'"
"It caught me completely off guard, and I said something stupid in return."
"It was like being in the final minutes of the Super Bowl, being tossed the game winning ball, only to fumble it in the end zone on live TV."
"I've lived with that regret a long time haha."
"What could have been."- tennyson77
They Got The Hint Eventually...
"Back in '84, I was working at this cool department store and this was this shy girl I'd chat it up with."
"I talk to anyone, so it was no big deal on my end."
"I was also a movie nut, so I'd say 'Hey, have you seen this or that?' and she'd give me an exasperated look and say 'No. No I haven't I need someone to go with'."
"I'd be like 'Ah, well, it's a good one'."
"We've been married for 33 years."- The68Guns
Nervous New Music GIF by *~ MIQUELA ~*GiphyThey Needed To Be More Into Themsleves!
"In high school a gorgeous girl sent me anonymous love letters."
"I later found out she was the one sending them."
"She also asked me out to this dinner banquet thing."
"We went, but I was so shy I barely said anything."
"She still sent me letters afterwards."
"I had really low self esteem, and made every excuse to myself that she wasn't into me."
"It was like she was holding up a neon sign that she likes me and i didn't do anything about it."- uncultured_swine2099
"Years ago, just chatting with a co-worker day to day, just everyday conversation."
"Then one day, after another normal chit chat passing time casual conversation, she heads out, turns around grabs a pen and she writes her number on my arm and says 'Dude! Call me!'."
"And walked away seemingly frustrated."
"I just kinda stood there with eyebrows raised, my brain turning gears and it clicked!"
"...Oooohh!"- nukomyx
A Joke About Rubbing Organs Is Just Too Obvious...
"As I played the organ, she would turn pages for me and brush her body against my back while moving from right to left behind the organ bench to grab the next page."
"I thought she was rubbing me due to tight quarters between my organ and the choir loft railing."- Back2Bach
Take Me Out To The Ballgame Baseball GIF by NCAA ChampionshipsGiphyIt's easy to kick yourself in the head for missing what might seem like obvious cues that someone was into you.
Though it's really nothing to be embarrassed about, as subtlety is lost on some.
Then too, it's worth mentioning that maybe the reason you missed the cues, is that you weren't into them?
All's fair in love and seduction...
What separates a human being from a monster?
It's an age-old question about humanity. How is a species that is born out of love and blessed with the ability for critical thinking and making others happy capable of committing unspeakable acts of horror?
The scary thing is anyone is capable of the worst kind of crime–taking another's life.
Does it take one unfortunate moment in a fit of rage or cross paths with the wrong individual resulting in a person snapping and killing someone?
Or, are some of us born with the murder gene?
To answer these questions, Redditor akd432 dug deep into the dark side of humanity and asked:
"People who know murderers, were there any signs that something was off? If so, what were they?"
It could be anyone.
It Started With The Barking Dog
"One of my former co workers decided to shoot a house all because a dog was barking in the back yard of a different house, went on a shooting spree killing the entire family except for the infant that was on the second floor."
"Only thing that was off was his drinking problem."
– Car_loapher
The Friend's Brother
"I’ve met several after the fact, but this is about one I met weeks before the murder."
"My then-husband and I were hanging out and met up with a friend of his and the friend’s girlfriend. The friend gets a call from his brother and invites him join us. The brother arrives, and pretty soon afterwards, the whole vibe changed."
"My ex knew both men since all three were kids, so he was relaxed enough to start drinking around them. I was babysitting a wine cooler because I’m the next thing to a teetotaler and was the designated driver. I kept noticing the brother staring at me, but tried to ignore it, but it quickly became very uncomfortable. I’m nothing special to look at facially, I got the mom-bod on lock, and I was with my husband."
"The brother then asks me why I’m not drinking. I explained that I’m not a real drinker and added that I like to be aware of who and what’s around me. So he asked my husband why I wasn’t drinking. I don’t remember his response, but dude looks at me and says 'we need to get you drunk.'”
"I left to go sit in the car, because wtf was that. I didn’t feel safe or protected because my ex wasn’t even paying attention. About 20 minutes later, dude walks up to my car and asks if I can take him to the corner store. I reminded him that he had a car and he replied that he couldn’t drive because he’d been drinking. I told him I wouldn’t take him, which led to us staring at each other in silence for several moments. He broke the silence by saying 'I bet you’re real loyal. A loyal girl. A good girl. I know that motherf'ker get anything he want from you.' Then he laughed and walked away."
"When I told my ex the next day, he wasn’t bothered and was making excuses for the friend’s brother’s behavior. A few weeks later, there was a report on the news about the body of a woman being found in my exe’s old neighborhood. Find out later she’s been murdered. It didn’t take long to find and arrest her killer, aka the friend’s brother."
– miKezOGnoze
Some kids show signs of being unstable but are easily dismissed as nothing serious until it was too late.
Don't F'k With Squirrels
"I’ve posted about it before but a kid down the street talked about killing squirrels for fun. He was 7ish years old."
"He moved away and we forgot about him."
"20 years later we saw him in the news for brutally killing his parents."
– SchleppyJ4
Led By Vengeance
"I knew Christopher Bennett as a child. Honestly I thought he was a bit of a jerk, then again most little boys are mean to little girls. Especially little girls who are 3 years younger than them and seem to think they can do whatever the boys are doing. Last time I saw him, we had grown up a little, I was 11, he was about 14, he wasn't as mean as I had remembered him. Did I see it coming, no, most people didn't. I mean he was getting into trouble a lot but murder, never thought he had it in him. Then again he was right to kill the bastard he did and I think a lot of other people would become murders if they saw what he did."
– CylonsInAPolicebox
Trophy Collector
"I spent a lot of time at a friend's house when I was 6-9 years old. He had a brother who was like 3 years older than us, who I remember as being generally nice, but I have one weird memory of him absolutely losing his sh*t when he tried to teach me and his brother to roller blade and I couldn't get it--like throwing things and weeping uncontrollably. When I was in high school, found out that he had joined the military, and while he was deployed he got court martialed for killing civilians and keeping body parts (fingers, ears) as trophies."
– StarFanthirteen
Family members share their horrific experiences of being related to a murderer.
The Jealous Sister
"Knew a girl as a freshman in college who was mean, obviously mentally unstable, and not too bright. When her fraternal twin sister fell in love with a good friend of mine, she became enraged with jealousy and could not let it go. Her sister begged her to get help and there was a huge blowout in a hallway on campus where my friend had to intervene to prevent his girlfriend from getting stabbed by her sister. The police were called to campus and she spent a week in jail before her sister decided to not press charges. Her remaining friends dropped out of her life because of her actions and unwillingness to get help. She got kicked out of college shortly after threatening the guidance counselor who was giving her one last chance and moved back in with her parents. When her sister went home for Christmas with my friend to introduce him to her parents, I told him to watch his back. They hadn’t even made it all the way into the house before they were attacked and repeatedly stabbed. My friend died on the porch and she died at the hospital the next day. The murderous sister was beaten to death in a jail fight a few days later.
"I met their older brother, who I didn’t even know existed, at the funeral for the good sister. He said he had gone no contact with the family years before for his own protection because his parents refused to do anything about the mental health problems that his little sister always had, even as a small child."
– howarewestillhere
The Off Uncle
"One of my uncles murdered his wife. He was out of jail by the time I was a kid. Yes, there was always something off about him. My mother told me he was always violent and had a sadistic streak - he liked to make people afraid. He mellowed out as he got older but he was always a user and always looking to take advantage where he could. I’m pretty sure he was a sociopath. My mother had a lot of siblings and he was the only one like this."
– mrsshmenkmen
You think you know someone.
No Murder Vibes
"For 4 years I worked 4 desks away from someone who was arrested and convicted of a 32 year old cold case murder. Dude was an a**hole but didn't give off murder vibes. The general reaction was 'huh, I hope his replacement is less of a d*ick."
– Hobbs172
She Suddenly Snapped
"I knew someone who killed her mother."
"No, absolutely no warning at all. No hints to look back on and say we should have seen it coming."
"She was a perfectly average suburban wife and mother who woke up one day and snapped. And ended up being featured on Snapped."
"She’s currently serving out a 40 year term."
– 5footfilly ·
People joke about individuals going postal when pushed to their limits, but that's all it takes for someone to abandon all sense of logic and go on a killing spree.
But there are also those who have mental issues and are cast off from society and can be triggered to act on any suppressed violent impulses as a possible reaction to being neglected and unloved.
Either way, it's hard to pinpoint exactly what drives anyone to murder.
And the scary thing is, you never really know who a coworker really is when they're off the clock, a neighbor who never leaves their house, or even a family member who has a history of being the polite one.
Sometimes, in order to find the love of our lives, we have to explore what's out there.
Often encountering people who we know fairly early on are just not a good fit.
In some cases, they're perfectly nice people but don't ignite the spark in us and lack any kind of chemistry.
Then there are those who truly astound us, and not in a good way.
The sort of people where describing them as "not the sharpest knife in the shed" would be an understatement.
Sometimes, this is clear from the minute we meet them. Other times, the realization comes a bit later.
"People of Reddit, what was your “I’m dating a f*cking idiot” moment?"
Oh, Dear...
"Watched a doc that explained how sharks have electricity receptors which they use to hunt. he said 'that's not possible'."
"Sharks are supposedly millions of years old but we only invented electricity a hundred years ago'."- Key-Lie250
If You Have To Prove It...
"He thought the outlet plug covers (for childproofing) meant the outlet was out-of-order."
"He literally had nothing plugged into the walls of his entire living room."
"He also mentioned how smart he was any chance he got.... usually a prime indicator."- Airport_Fart
It's Certainly A Hustle. HOWEVER...
"He kept applying for jobs and getting denied instantly."
"At the time, I didn’t understand and was upset for him."
"Come to find out, this 26-year-old was applying for jobs driving armored trucks for banks."
"With a record for stealing money from cash registers."
"I didn’t know at the time that he had ever been arrested, but this man literally had robbery and theft on his record, and couldn’t understand why an armored truck company wouldn’t hire him."- cathherine
When It Rains, It Pours...
"My ex didn't think it rained over the ocean because there was enough water there already."
"She was shocked it rained when we were on a cruise."- 1_disasta
Let's Hope She Didn't Test This Theory...
"How alcohol content percentage works."
"We argued for months that 10% as alcohol content remains the same even if you halved the bottle."
"She said nope, if you halved the bottle then the alcohol content would be 5%."
"Engineer graduate that too."
"She works for a software firm."
"For 12 years."
"Sigh."- baboyadobo
Some People Just Don't Grasp The Concept Of Math...
"My ex thought he could play hockey and found what he thought were the holy grail of skates."
"He bought them for $200 (I don't know the price as it was a long time ago)."
"His friend, who lived in a city an hour and 20 minutes away, told him he got the same skates for $195."
"So my ex, in his old Camaro that cost $50 in gas round trip, returned the skates he got for $200 and drove 1 hour and 20 minutes to get the skates that were $5 cheaper."
"That should have been the biggest red flag."
"But sadly, it turned out I was the f*cking idiot who stayed with him for a few more years."- Flipgirlnarie
"I had to explain to a grown woman that 20% is not always $20 when converted to currency."- DahvRom
Double Whammy...
"Was just lounging about one Sunday and skiing came on the TV."
"At one point the commentator said that contestants reached 100 km/h at that point in the race."
"The ex literally shouted bullsh*t at the telly."
"I looked at her and asked why..she replied that there was no way that they could tell how far they'd go in an hour since the race was only two minutes long."
"Another time, 'I have an aunt who lives in London, is that near England'."- Allydarvel
One Step Behind
"I introduced him to my stepsister."
"He said, 'weird, you guys look nothing alike'."- Saminotsammy
Get Out Of My Kitchen!!!
"He was trying to make cookies and kept opening the oven for extended periods of time, letting out all the heat."
"When I told him he was letting all the heat out by opening the door wide open and staring at the cookies, he told me I didn't know how ovens work because the temp setter said 400 so it was 400."
"Took an hour to bake 1 sheet of cookies and said 'I don't know why it's taking so long'."
"Also insisted on doing this on Thanksgiving, tying up my oven and was pissed off when he found out the turkey would take 3hrs to cook."
"As I'm sure you can imagine... Did not work out."- pocket4129
Liking Them Doesn't Make You One Of Them...
"It was when vampire-related shows and movies were in the height of their popularity."
"He became obsessed with vampires."
"When we would go outside, he started to act like the sun was hurting him, and he would shield his face with his hands while groaning in pain."
"Think of Jim from The Office with his vampire prank... only he was more dramatic... and serious."- not-a-real_username
Some Like It Hot...
"When he left the window open in the middle of summer because the air conditioning made the house too cold."
"He didn’t turn off the air conditioner and argued that it wouldn’t have made a difference."- Lovable_Minion
Dogs Do Love Car Rides...
"I went on a couple dates with a woman who owned two large energetic dogs."
"When she bought them she was informed that she'd need to walk them every day to get them exercise and burn off energy."
"To save time, instead of walking them she'd take them for a drive and thought that accomplished the same thing."- diiejso
So Much For Going Green...
"We drove past a windmill on a windy day."
"She commented how it was too windy out and they should turn the windmill down."
"She was dead serious..."- ink4n3
Washington And Jefferson Do Look Sort Of Alike... Don't They?...
"She found a coin in the couch and exclaimed 'WOW this is a REALLY big nickel'
"To which I responded 'That's because its a quarter'."- 404-soul-not-found
As Forest Gump once said, "stupid is as stupid does," so intelligence doesn't always go hand in hand with kindness and generosity.
Nor can we be too sure that these instances are what ultimately led to these relationships coming to an end.
Though, one can't blame someone for dumping anyone who thought they'd turned into a vampire...
Everyone has insecurities.
Be it speaking in public, wearing beach attire, or even one's profession, very few people don't have at least one topic of conversation that is bound to make them red in the face.
Some people are pretty adept at hiding their discomfort and can manage to persevere through their phobias with their dignity intact.
Others are not so lucky and often go to great lengths to hide their insecurities, only to make them even more apparent.
"What screams 'I’m insecure'?"
The Wisest People Are Those Always Willing To Learn
"When people are unable to admit that they don’t know something."- slimytoads
not listening no way GIFGiphyOther People's Success Are Not Your Failures
"Mocking someone else's achievement."- SuvenPan
Never Pick Yourself Up By Taking Others Down
"Belittling others."- Term-Haunting
"Always talking badly about others and trying to make them look weak/bad."- Pildith
The Simpsons GIF by MOODMANGiphyMaybe Honesty Isn't Always The Best Policy...
"When you're quick to be 'brutally honest' with others, but have a meltdown when someone does it back to you."-eF240uKX52hp
Not As Funny As They Think...
"People who tear other people down as a joke but then get mad when they get it handed back to them."
"Clearly they either aren’t joking or are too sensitive to be dishing out sh*t."- babythrottlepop
Being On Top Adds More Possibilities Of Falling Down...
"Trying to one-up people in every conversation."- Flanky_Bwai
"One upping people in conversation."
"If I tell you I had a great trip to X place, I don’t need to hear about your better trip to someplace else that’s ostensibly 'better'."- I_Am_The_Grapevine
kristen wiig television GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphySome Things Speak For Themselves...
"Constantly saying what kind of person you are."
"If you were, you wouldn’t have to tell us."- ubereddit
A Little Contrition Goes A Long Way...
"Never apologizing."
"Making excuses and even twisting the facts but never apologize."- SuvenPan
But Enough About Me, What Do You Think Of Me?
"Constant projection and self-serving compliments."- nhabz
Look At Me Kiki GIF by The Bachelor AustraliaGiphyWhat Are They Even Trying To Prove?
"Revving your vehicle loudly every time you pass another person."- msnmck
Superior By Association
“'You will address me by my husband’s rank!'”- Psychological-Stay16
PDA Much?
"Elaborate Instagram and Facebook posts declaring love for one’s significant other over and over and over."- jbmaun
Happy Married At First Sight GIF by LifetimeGiphyAlways Needing Validation
"People who can’t think or feel anything without being told that it’s okay to do so."- Diesel07012012
It's sad that so many people think the only way to overcome something which makes them embarrassed or afraid is by embarrassing or demeaning others.
When being open and honest about your insecurities might, instead, result in your finding common ground with others.
And making new, lifelong friends in the process.