Redditor Famous_Assistance683 was eager to know what exactly people who linger in the shower are really up to, leading them to ask:
"People who take the longest time in the shower, what the hell do you do in there?"
I just don't want to get out!
"Mostly think about how miserable it will feel to get out of the shower."- 14-stars
It just takes that long to get clean!
"Wash away the dirt: 5 mins."
"Wash away the pain: 45mins."- Overall_Outcome_392
Daydreaming
"Thinking about random situations that will probably never happen."- Dyl-thuzad
"Some ppl my think I play with myself since I take really long showers, but in reality i just stare into nothing and everything at the same time and lose track of time while thinking about stuff I would never think anywhere else."- ClaraSG
It's a safety issue!
"I suck at shaving my legs in a timely fashion. oops."- SwagLordious420
"Shaving my entire body."- AnnaTraaa
It's all about the hair...
"Anyone with long curly hair is detangling it."- Krombuchar2
"Hair sh*t."
"I started growing out my hair like 5 months ago, and the longer it is the more of a pain it is to take care of."
"I’m getting better with it, but I was never really taught how to take care of long hair so it’s hard."-
GiphyIt's easy to let our curiosity get the best of us.
But then we all must remember, whatever people get up to in private is none of our business.
I imagine there is absurd amount of pranking and foolishness. Which isn't bright. The floor is slippery and the concrete is hard. You can break a neck.
bad grapes...
Scott Aukerman Tattoo GIFGiphy"The one that I remember most vividly was halftime during a HS football game and right after a kid had his testicles stepped on. He was screaming as the trainer took his pants off to reveal a sack the size of a grapefruit." ~ groundsgonesour
Watch your hands!
"I was not physically there but happened at my school and I knew about it because the kid posted a picture on Instagram. A guy had his hand resting on the door frame while he was talking to someone else and not paying attention, and another kid kicked the door closed for some reason. Took part of his middle finger clean off at the last knuckle. His Instagram picture was captioned "the doctors don't know if it'll grow back" and showed the stump." ~ beetjuice98
"tough dude"
"After practice there's ~15 guys waiting to use 3 showers. Once one of them broke and would only give cold water. Some days later this "tough dude" didn't want to wait anymore and just showered with the cold-a** water, all the other dudes still waiting to use the 2 warm showers. This goes on for maybe 10 days, with no one ever trying to use the broken shower, then our coach tells us it's been repaired the day "tough dude" started using it again and he was supposed to tell us." ~ Leckenz
Cheers!
Drinking Beer GIF by Barstool SportsGiphy"Beer league hockey. I roll up to a new team with a full cooler of beer as a new-guy peace offering. Quickly I find out that I'm the only one on the team to drink beer. Wildest crap I've ever seen." ~ gentleman_bronco
Well so far, none of this sounds like any fun; just a lot hospital visits and questionable behavior. But I would take a beer.
Bubbles...
Hardly Art Talk GIF by TacocatGiphy"Open Showering after morning practice. People started blowing giant shampoo bubbles and tried to see who could successfully transfer the bubbles to completely cover their stuff like a space helmet." ~ DurgMaster
Blood everywhere...
"Football locker room. Varsity locker room had limited spots, everyone else had to go into the small room that had a 6 ft. ceiling. Summer camp my sophomore year, after coaches left, Varsity guys held wrestling matches to determine who got the remaining lockers in the big varsity room. Kid got suplexed into the whiteboard, and we all found out that the walls were made of concrete. Blood everywhere. Varsity locker room was closed for the remainder of the year." ~ SylvrSpydr
Day 5
"Not really a locker room story, but one time I was at a 5 day tournament (nationals) that was rained out for the first three days. Athletes were getting rowdy and going for drinks (behind the coaches back). Well day 4 it was finally nice enough to play. We noticed on a different field, some police officers were talking to people on the sideline."
"Apparently, one player didn't make it back to the hotel the night before. They found his body at the bottom of an elevator shaft in a building under construction. No one knows how he got there but it seems like he just wandered off and fell. Day 5 was cancelled after that." ~ discostud1515
Bummed
Schitts Creek Pain GIF by CBCGiphy"During high school I tried to make room on the bench for my teammate. I slid down the wooden bench and got a splinter in my bum." ~ Alarmed_Teacher_1022
Yeah, I'll stick to the non-athlete life. And I'm glad I basically sticked P.E. Sounds like my life was spared.
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Stand Up!
GiphyFeet about 1 and a half feet apart. Facing water. Standing up straight. That's my stance. Ididntdoit_maybe
Wiki how to pee in shower. gracegilligan
Time.
Saves water. Vesurel
Saves time too, and also prevents any risk of falling when going from the shower to the potty, also you have more time in the shower which is more time to contemplate life and hate yourself. poopellar
Yes, I'm evil.
A related story.
I used to be a backpacker tour guide. It was a ten day trip with people from all over the world who would (usually) become fast friends. On day 5 of the trip, when everyone was getting to know each other and feel good about everything I would have everyone play the drinking game "I have never."
I would wait until everyone was nicely drunk and then drop the bomb. "I have never peed in the shower". Then I would sit back and watch as half the people drank and the other half slowly realized that the other half had been peeing in their shared showers for the last five days.
It was always amazing to watch. It never failed to cause a scene. Some people really freaked out. I'd just sit back and enjoy the fireworks.
Yes, I'm evil. Odogogod
Wet....
In my opinion if you do it while the water is running no problem. Reddit
Anyone who is peeing in a shower without the water running must be killed. nonenone88
Necessity....
GiphyGrew up in a house with five people and one toilet. If you had to go and someone was on the pot, well, shower it was. WickAndWax
LOST HER MIND!!!
...you mean, people don't pee in the shower? RN-1783
My wife found out I pee in the shower, and she LOST HER MIND!
She's such a germophobe that it absolutely freaked her out.
Since that day, I have never peed in the shower again. At least, that's what I told her.... therealtrashy
Just Is...
GiphyIf you live with people, you have to do it, because they already did and you need to reestablish your territory, otherwise you're standing in someone else's. ProstituteEggz
Part of the Package....
Spouses who are this grossed out by each others' bodies is such a weird concept to me. I've only been married a little over 6 months but I did so with the implicit understanding that body fluids would likely be involved as the years pass, in whatever way they may. It's all fun and games until someone can't wipe themselves.
Also, why does it seem like germophobes always know the least about germs? If you're married to someone you're probably safer drinking their urine than the water coming out of the shower head, depending on how often you clean your shower head.
It's not like he's dropping deuces in there, which is gross but even then, fecal implants with housemates are preferred for a reason. You'd probably do a better job protecting yourself snatching his phone out of his hands and disinfecting that once a day. graceodymium
Costanza.
In the words of George Costanza "It's all pipes what's the difference?!?" ccharles324
Different pipes go to different places! islandalpinist
Let it Out!
GiphyI am a woman and I just let it out. I'm about to wash myself anyway. Ms_Auricchio
Same here. sophiacreme
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "
" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
get the hose....
GiphyI jumped into what was essentially sewer runoff, chest high swirling river of poop, to pull out a four year old boy who had fallen in.
It was in Mexico and next to the site I was working. Kid just fell in and I jumped in after him since the sewage was over his head. Managed to cut my leg open too, so I had to go to the hospital and get a tetanus shot.
Kid was fine, pulled him out, mom hosed him off and sent him back to playing.
When the puss is running...
I once examined a patient's leg wound without gloves on; looking for fluctuant areas that might indicate an abscess. Bad idea. Next thing my finger pierces the skin (thinned from necrosis and under tension from the pus) and was actually gliding up under the skin. In the split second it took me to realize this an inordinate amount of puss came streaming out onto my hand and arm. Took several minutes to compose myself afterwards. Very nearly wretched a number of times. I'm also pretty sure I finished an entire bottle of hibiscrub washing my hands repeatedly.
The Spittoon.
As a kid. Don't know why I took a swig from a random soda can left at the sink in a public laundry mat. Turns out it had been used as an ash tray and possibly dip spittoon.
To the Dumpster.
Once when my roommate was using the bathroom and I needed to poop *right away* and I didn't want to deal with her bull trying to convince her I needed to use the bathroom worse than her I went into the kitchen and ripped 4 sheets of paper towel off the roll, went to my room and closed the door, folded the paper towels to in a double layer, and took a poop on the paper towel. Miraculously, it all landed perfectly on the paper towel and I was able to fold it up and put it in a plastic grocery bag and tie it off like a gigantic dog poop and take it out to throw away in the dumpster outside.
Damn Junior Mints.
Giphy9 years old, Dropped a milk dud in the movie theatre so pushed my hand the seats to find it. Found it proceeded to eat it and it was a damn junior mint.
Scars me to this day.
boys & their M & M's....
I was in Boy Scouts when I was a teenager. We were on a week long backpacking trip. As teens do... We started making stupid bets/dares.
One was, "Who can do the grossest thing to an M&M and then eat it?"
I took off the boots I had been hiking in. Took off my funky sock (soaked in swamp water). Wrung it out on a few M&Ms in my hand. And ate the handful of M&Ms and whatever puddle of swamp water was in my palm.
Out with the Cow.
While doing a rectal exam to make a pregnancy diagnosis in cow, it managed to poo directly into my open mouth.
Salmonella & Snot...
Not me, but a buddy of mine was in a fight with his GF, she was saying he always under cooks the chicken, and she's going to get salmonella. So he takes a raw drumstick and slurps the meat off the bone out of spite.
It made me shiver in a way that I've only done after reading a story on reddit about a mother using her mouth to suck snot from a baby's nose.
Slumped over the toilet...
College: I was drunk and high and all those things and decided my hands didn't work.
Our dorms had a shared bathroom and I was in the stalls, hoping to puke in the toilet. I thought "man it would be rude of me to puke all over the seat, I better put it up just in case"
Since my hands didn't work, I grabbed the seat with my teeth and put it up.
Never puked though.
Edit: Kind of embarrassed this got so visible. Thanks for the gold and silver. To answer the most frequently asked question, I was really messed up, sitting on the floor, slumped over the toilet. Standing up and using my feet didn't seem like a viable option at the time. Don't do drugs kids.
Litterer....
GiphyWhen I was a toddler, I crawled into the cat box and started playing in the "sand." Mom of course had to get pictures before stopping her kid from playing with cat poop.
