That Dude
sexy boy GIFGiphyWhen I said to my friend "This dude is cool, I wouldn't ask him out, but if he asked me I wouldn't refuse" turns out I'm gay and shy.
At 23....
My therapist was doing a series of quick questions and asked "you like boys?" and I was like "yeah" "and you like girls?" and I said "...no? I don't know?" and he "well, straight people normally answer that one waaay differently"
Then it hit me, at 23, that I'm not straight (might be bi) and finding that actress pretty, fantasizing about a girl 2 years my senior wasn't me "being so ok with being straight that I was ok with having experiences with women" I actually kinda like them so yeah, I was that oblivious.
School Chums
I used to have this thought to myself in high school about my friend! I really didn't want to be gay. but I had to confront the thought that if she wanted to be my girlfriend, I would have wanted that too.
She didn't, and also I didn't tell anyone haha.
Fiery....
GiphyWhen I was little and whenever I read books about a straight couple in love, and the woman was this fiery goddess, I never wanted to be the gorgeous woman in the book, I was curious about how it felt to fall for one. I loved the idea of it. Then, I started to develop intense crushes on girls.
Discussing Philip
Met a girl via Twitter through a tag, started talking, then moved to video calls. Every time a notification came up on my phone from her, I got that warm faced, fuzzy chest feeling. "we're just good friends" I said to myself (like a liar). "She's just really sweet and I like talking to her." Four months of this and one day she mentions Philip. I ask her who that is, as I'd never heard the name from her before.
"Oh, that's my boyfriend."
"Oh. Okay. Recent boyfriend?"
"No, we've been together seven years."
Around minute five of crying is when I realized... Crying about that and feeling like I'd gotten my heart broken wasn't normal.
Famous Ladies
One time in high school, I knew a girl who was really attached to me. I had low self esteem and she would always be happy with me and she would say things like "You look cute today" and "That skirt matches your eyes". I never thought she liked me because I would just think, nobody can like me or I would just think I was lucky to have someone so nice. It was by valentines day she made me chocolate in a little pink lock and lock as she confessed her love to me. I almost fainted as I coughed in shock. Wrong reaction.
She was confused but we talked it out. That year we went to prom together, she was my 1st best kiss that grade, and we were one of the most famous lesbian couples in our school. We later broke up because she was going to her dream college in California and we both agreed a long distance relationship wouldn't be good. Ever since, I knew I was gay af.
I Heart Hermione
Very first clue that I was bi was rewatching Harry Potter when I was 11 and wanting to make out with Hermione super bad. Then when I was 13 me and my friends were all at a sleepover and, since we were horny teens, we played spin the bottle. I got my best friend and it was like the best thing ever.
Lol yes Emma/Hermione was definitely my first celebrity crush.
I did that gay people thing where I was like "I'm obsessed with her because I just want to BE her". It got harder to do that once I starting having crushes on my real life girl friends.
Can't Change the Channel
The day when I was 16 and had just realized that the only porn that i had been watching up to that point for the last 5 years was the gay kind.
You, 5 years later: still watching gay porn
Wait a second...
"We" Love Lucie
When my best friend came out as a lesbian and my brain went automatically "YES WE HAVE A CHANCE WITH HER....... wait" so turns out I'm bi.
Edit: by "we"I mean me (a dummy) and whatever runs my emotions, and no I did not say I had a chance with her out loud
Second edit: For clarification, no, we never got together.
Turns out she was experimenting more than anything else and told me she didn't like women before I could even get the courage to tell her. We stopped being friends shortly after (for different reasons) and I have no way to contact her anymore. She never knew and probably never will. Lucie if you're out there, I don't think about you anymore (except for this moment of my life that, in the end, is more about me than about you) but I once fancied the way you would smile at me a bit too much.
A Girl Crush
Love You Smile GIF by The SwoonGiphyWhen I was 13/14 I was at a sleepover. We discussed our "boys we fancied list" then our "girl crush list".
They named celebrities, I named like... Holly from Drama Class, one of our female teachers, a girl in the year above. And was yeah "yeah she's pretty and she's so cute when she ...."
I was then informed a girl crush is when you want to BE this person, or be like them.. not be ON THEM or kissing them and holding their hand while you walk round a Christmas market.
And that's how I found out that being attracted to girls wasn't a straight person thing.
EDIT: so turns out a lot of people didn't understand girl crush as this and now I think we should all create a support group and discuss ladies we want to take on a Christmas market date....
"HER"
I wrote a very long diary entry in late middle school about how beautiful my best friend looked as she slept at a sleepover. I wrote in detail about her fluttering eyelashes, her smooth skin, her parted lips, her deep breathing, etc. I closed it out by saying that I'm not homosexual and I never would be, I just thought my best friend was a beautiful soul.
We started dating a couple months later.
He's a "10!"
Reaction GIF by moodmanGiphyRealizing that a male friend was objectively more attractive than my girlfriend. Took me another 20 years to admit to myself that I was bi, though!
I'm Comfortable
Was year 10 uk (maybe 15). on a school trip to the US, shared a 2 double bed room with 3 upper 6th (17-18) guys, this would be back in 2007ish, when skinny indie kids with greasy hair were the thing. One of them was this guy, who was 18 and I thought he was so mature and grown up, he wore a proper thick woolen trenchcoat and told stories about girls giving bjs under it, which felt like I was talking to some sort of wizard. He had very pale gray blue eyes, but with dark skin and messy curly dark hair so they really stood out.
Anyhoo, they decided that being squeamish around other boys was kinda uncool, so this guy decided after his shower to walk across the room stark bollock naked to get dressed. And he was really thin, but muscular with it, and that was the first time I'd really looked at a penis before, because he stood there toweling off with a bit of a smirk, as if he was trying to make me uncomfortable. I was not uncomfortable.
The Ladies
Megara from Hercules (and Hercules).
Chel from Road to El Dorado.
Jessica Rabbit from Who Framed Roger Rabbit.
Lola Bunny in Space Jam.
(And quite recently reignited my passion for men too) Zagreus from Hades.
Googled It
Sitting there googling "am I a lesbian" quizzes lol
Well the first sign probably should've been lil 4th grade me, after learning of the existence of gay people, laying there at night thinking, "aww man, gay girls are so lucky. Wish I could date a girl! Oh well, guess I'll marry a man."
Or the countless times groups of girls would be obsessing over how cute some dude was and I'd be standing there like ???
Or maybe the fantasies I had in 6th grade about me dating a girl I was friends with.
But for some reason I didn't even begin to consider the possibility of not being straight until I got the most intense crush of my life (the kind that physically hurts because you want the other person so badly) on a friend of mine who was a girl. Hence the googling lol. Took me another two or three years to really accept it.
Even now I have a girlfriend and occasionally doubt myself but I know that's just my dumbass brain overthinking everything.
the sex is in the heel....
high heels wall GIFGiphyWhen I saw a woman dressed in a business suit, but with a skirt. She had on heels and tights with a black line going up the back of her legs. That sight with the click of her heels... I didn't just like boys!
When Blogging....
I was reading a blog and it said bisexuality was imagining yourself married to either gender and being happy with it. It's probably not an accurate statement but I figured yeah, I'd be totally fine with either.
Later on I thought about the sex part, was completely repulsed and learned the term 'asexual'.
So Shy
I really liked the dude and he really liked me to, we were both to shy to say but you could tell from a mile away due to happenings like these, I changed HS on third year and the beautiful love story came to an end, we did meet afterwards and I swear we could have had sex then and there but neither made a move, I'm still in love with that dude and have been in for 9 years since I met him, and I'm afraid next year I'm letting it go, I have to live my life.
Proof at the Louvre....
I don't think I'm gay since in relationship dynamics I much more prefer the company of women. However since the first time I went to the Louvre at 13, I was really fascinated with all those statues and paintings of naked men. So yeah, I'd say a beautiful body is a beautiful body, no matter the sex.
After the Shower
John Cusack Film GIFGiphyi was over my friends house and he took a shower and came back to his room naked and started playing Fortnite naked i was way too interested in looking at him that i knew i wasn't straight.
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So let's talk about it.
Straight people of Reddit, when did you know you weren't gay?
So ... you know how you don't know if you like a new food until you try it? A few of these responses involve people who had their moment of realization while in the middle of a "taste test" if you will. So This probably isn't the best article for young readers or anyone who might be sensitive to sexual subject matter.
Victoria's Mail-Order Brides
GiphyWhen I was SUPER young I used to take (and sometimes hide) my mom's Victoria's Secret catalogues. I remember an intense feeling while looking at the models in lingerie. It wasn't a horny feeling (being so young) but it was exciting, fun and it had a magnetic feeling inside me to look at them.
Since I didn't even know what sex is, I figured that feeling was what marriage was. LMFAO So I'd be flipping pages and I'd be like - "Hmm.... I would marry... her.... WOW I really want to marry her... and marry her... mmm I wouldn't marry this one..."
I love these type of questions that bring back things you never think about. Looking back at this foggy memory I can actually remember the specific "perfumey" smell the magazines had.
- foxttrot
That Was That
When I first learned about the concept of being gay. I think I was like 8-9.
I randomly asked my mom "How do you know if you're gay?" and she said "You would just have a feeling and you'd know."
I thought about if I've ever felt gay and I didn't, so that was that.
Third Time Was Not A Charm
I was joking around with one of my friends and we (my friends and I) asked him how he knew he wasn't gay.
He told us he tried it 3 times and still hated it. He told us the long story about how he hooked up with three dudes and then realized he hated it.
So many laughs...
Instinct
Boobs. I realized I am a straight male when I couldn't stop myself from looking at them at the beach. Of course I would also look at jacked dudes and think "Wow, I want to look like this in the future" but it wasn't the same as looking at women.
I would look at muscular men wondering what I would look like as an adult consciously. Looking at boobs felt more like an instinct I couldn't control all that much back at age 12.
- kitho04
Flash Forward
I thought I might be bi. Flash forward to hooking up with hottest chick I'd ever seen and was like "nah... This ain't it." Hell of a time to realize you're actually straight.
Hair
When a girl strokes my back or plays with my hair it's very relaxing, I'm like a cat, I am so happy and comfortable and I'll go to sleep. If a guy strokes me or plays with my hair I'm tense - but in a good way, and really excited and flustered and I want to touch him all over.
THIS. 100%. My hair was long in middle school, and the people sitting behind me in class always wanted to play with it - it was a thing I guess. When my girl friend did it, it felt nice. But when the boy did it, I thought he did it so much better....
People Describe The Worst Adult Tantrum They've Ever Witnessed | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
That Didn't Go How Mom Intended
GiphyI was raised in a "being gay is a choice" type of house. My mom was giving me a speech about how she didn't care if I "brought home a black girl, a Chinese girl, whatever, just as long I dated a girl." Basically an anti-gay talk.
I was confused about this, and thought to myself, "Why would I date a guy? I'm attracted to girls. Dating a guy sounds nasty. If I had to date a guy who would I date? Best friend? Ew, no. Preppy guy? Ew, no. What's-his-name that is out as gay? Ew, no. There's no guy I can even think of that I'd want to be romantically involved with, and even if there was, I'd really have to force myself to do so... wait ... wait a minute... Holy sht, being gay isn't a choice! I couldn't choose it even if I tried!"
No Emotional Connection
I'm a female and I know that so far it is emotionally impossible for me to fall in love with a girl... I could have sex with a girl but definitely would not be interested in pursuing/dating a girl because there isn't that spark/desire I have with men.
I've questioned my sexuality before just to be sure (lol) but I know that the romantic bond I have with men is not possible for me to have with women. I could sleep with a girl but definitely would not be down to date or even flirt with a girl. It would feel very forced and uncomfortable for me.
A High School Rumor
Honestly? Though I had been reading classic romance novels for a couple years nothing solidified me being straight more the someone in high school starting the rumor I was gay and it taking over the entire school (for 4 years!). So much so I had gym teachers pull me aside to ask if I needed to dress alone so I wouldn't lust after the other girls. It was then I discovered that not only was I not gay but even the idea of sexually touching a girl is a complete turn off for me. I'm not a touchy person to begin with but the mere thought a even having a threesome with another woman involved is like a cold bucket of ice water to my libido.
No Sense Of Scale
I can't even tell how attractive a man is. I can tell the difference between good looking and not good looking but I have no idea of where they sit on the scale. So many times I've been out with friends and they're all "oh my god he's so hot" when to me he looks about the same as most of the other dudes in the area.
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