Sex education looks different across the world. Some places like the US or the UK are rather conservative with their education, while New Zealand and the Netherlands are liberal in teaching even young kids the basics of consent.
Given the vast differences in cultural norms around sex, dating, relationships and consent, it makes sense there would be people looking to the internet for advice,
We selected the best sex tips from AskReddit that seem to resonate the most with people.
Redditor Assorted_Education_ asked:
"What is this one sexual fact everyone would benefit knowing?"
Start taking notes!
Hygiene is important.
"Wash your f*cking hands before you put them inside someone!"
"I'll do you a better one: wash EVERYTHING you put inside someone."
"And file your nails."
Use the bathroom when you're done.
"Pee after sex."
"If you do get a UTI, men too, get it treated or it can lead to kidney failure. Please stay well :)"
"This applies to guys as well."
"I had this problem a lot at the point of literally peeing blood, it was so frickin painful and traumatizing at the point of not wanting to HAVE sex, although I did pee after I had it like 3 times like in 4 months. I had to pay a sh*t ton of money since UTIs can only get treated with antibiotics. UTI are no joke, if you are a women it easier to Get it, if you are a man its really Hard to Get it, but you NEED to go to the hospital ASAP."
"So fun fact, or maybe not so fun fact, there's apps like Lemonade Health which sound ridiculous, but you can get a doctor to call you and prescribe you UTI meds over the phone for under 40 bucks, they send the script to a pharmacy near you of your choosing. Super great if you don't have insurance but need UTI meds. And they follow up with an email to make sure everything is still going okay. (they do other stuff too, but that's how I found them, needing UTI meds)."
Communication makes great sex.
"Talk to your partner."
"Better communication = better sex."
"If you know what they want, you can do it for them. Mind reading makes things complicated and usually worse."
"Yes this is absolutely correct. I am stunned by how many people don't communicate. This includes people in a relationship."
"I used to say I have a foolproof pan on learning a woman's pleasure zones and those zones that'll get you smacked if you tickle there. Of course everybody smirks and says sure okay what is this magical plan? I reply: I ask."
"After the first time I had sex with my boyfriend I specifically asked him if there was anything that I could do differently or that he liked that I would continue to do. He said that he had never been asked that before and found it to be a very large turn on."
"This has to go both ways too. You have to be ready to honestly listen to your partner and also need to speak up when you want or don't want something. The second one is usually the more difficult."
For some, it's the main course.
"Foreplay is important."
"Amen to that. My wife wants to skip it all the time and that makes sex boring sometimes."
"The 'pre-foreplay' is also important. Never stop flirting with your partner no matter how long you’ve been together."
You have to find what works.
"Clitoral stimulation is not just a trigger finger as fast as you can. I can't speak for everyone because maybe that works for some people, but plenty of others need variation. change rhythms, change up the pressure, try different things until you figure out what works."
"I had a partner that treated it like the elevator button. 'I keep pressing it but it's not coming?? Maybe it's broken.'"
"Agreed, it is not a radio knob that you keep rotating to find that perfect frequency. Asking what your partner likes will save you a lot of time and they will like it too!"
You're not alone.
"Whatever insanely weird thing you're into, you're definitely not alone."
"If I've learned nothing else from Reddit, I've learned that. Doesn't matter what niche sexual or non-sexual quirk, experience, or interest I have, someone else is also interested in or has experienced it."
"This is a rule for life in general too, outside of sex. I love finding friends with mutually weird interests."
Once you found it, don't stop.
"If a woman is clearly enjoying what you're doing, don't go faster or harder immediately. She was enjoying what you did before for a reason."
"The trouble is it’s kind of like walking, I’m doing it at that pace but once you put my mental focus on it my pace changes."
"That’s why I don’t tell my partner to keep going haha because it makes them immediately conscious of what they’re doing. We have other cues to show that we’re about to climax."
No seriously, don't stop.
"The male orgasm does not end at the point of ejaculation but a few seconds after."
"If you’re pleasing your man and he ejaculates- DO NOT IMMEDIATELY STOP."
"An ex of mine when giving oral would keep going long after I got off. She basically kept going until I couldn’t take it anymore. It was amazing."
"And so is she single or…?"
"Sex can give you cancer!"
"Ok so clickbait aside, sexual contact can lead to human papillomavirus (HPV) infections. HPV is found in a number of squamous cell carcinomas (cancer) anywhere from the mouth, throat, vocal chords and even the esophagus, cervical cancer, vulvar cancer and anorectal cancers, and genital warts."
"It's also one of the most common STIs out there and is leading to higher rates of head and neck cancers in men. Unfortunately there's no test for HPV in men so a lot of guys are out there unknowingly carrying HPV even after testing negative for HIV, gonorrhea, chlamydia and the usual other STIs they check for."
"BUT! The strains of HPV most responsible for cancer are covered in the Gardasil-9 HPV vaccine."
"The vaccine also protects against genital warts. So if any healthcare providers give you pushback on getting the vaccine you could say that you'd like it in order to protect against genital warts :D "
The Magic Button
"Men, it’s not 'gay' to play with your ass."
"In fact, the secret to the best orgasm you'll ever have is inside your ass. Find someone to help you, or get a toy to pleasure yourself."
"You’ll never want to cum without p-spot stimulation ever again!"
"Being gay means being attracted to other men, not fully enjoying every kind of pleasure your body can give you. Also there’s nothing wrong with being gay, so play with your ass!"
"Men have a magic orgasm button too! God is a jerk, though, because he put it up our ass."
One Night Stand
"One-night-stands mostly don’t exist."
"Just like porn, the idea of rampant one night stnads are another thing that TV and movies love to hype up to set unrealistic expectations."
"I’ve literally never met anyone or spoken to anyone who has had a one-night-stand. And yes, I went to college parties. Again, all in the movies."
"Once I saw how rare and nonexistent one-night-stands actually are, I stopped pressuring myself into trying to get one."
"You'll never get to point where you have the skeleton key for every woman."
"They are all different and they all enjoy different things... If you fail the first time, talk, listen, read her body and learn what she likes."
"Every woman is like a song, you have to learn her specific rhythm. And No two songs are completely alike."
"Oh and unless the oven is preheated (believe me, she'll let you know) foreplay is a must."
Experimentation Is Awesome
"Experiment. And don’t knock something till you try it at least once. You never know what you actually might like till you try it"
"Be open to anything your partner wants to do. Try it once and be honest if you like it or not. Tell your partner what you want to try and what you like don’t hold back."
"Ladies: you can learn to control the muscles that control the tightness of your vagina. They're the pelvic floor muscles, or kegels, the same muscles that help control urination."
"To find them, stop urinating mid stream."
"Then you can start to exercise them by clenching for a few seconds and relaxing (using toys might be fun, but it's not really necessary). Try to only clench the pelvic floor muscles, without also clenching your buttocks or abdomen."
"Any penis-having partners will thank you for having strong pelvic floor muscles, and it has plenty of health benefits too."
"Also, guys? You can benefit from exercising your kegels as well."
On Your Feet
"Girls, please ride on your feet, not your knees."
"Men don't feel the stimulation if the penis doesn't move "in and out" enough. This is most common when girls ride on their knees."
"Also, you move your whole upper body when being on your knees. You can solely move your lower body, making it (probably?) less exhausting if you're on your feet. It also lets you have more control of your movement."
"Learn to kiss your partner. Like seriously, do the high school make-out thing until you get it right."
"Kissing is everything."
The First Time
"The first time doesn't necessarily have to be this sucky and embarrassing experience."
"Is it going to be phenomenal sex? Absolutely not. But if you talk to your partner, please each other beforehand, keep communicating, and focus on having fun rather than just getting the other person to finish then you'll have an enjoyable couple of minutes."
"Also sometimes you just won't finish. It happens: you don't have enough time or motivation to finish yourself off after your partner finishes, they don't have the time or motivation, sometimes your body just says no."
"Sometimes the case will be that you're just as satisfied when your partner gets off even though you didn't finish. It's happened to me, and it's not like my partner nor I were inadequate."
"Guys, moan. Express pleasure. F*cking emote."
"For years I thought being the ‘silent stud’ was somehow making me more attractive, but as soon as I let go of this idea my sex got 1000x better."
"For a lot of people, HEARING that they are gratifying you is a huge turn-on for them. You’d also be surprised how much better it feels for you. Together that creates a feedback loop and MY OH MY…"
Ultimately, the best thing to take away from this is everyone is different.
It's going to take open and honest communication with your partners and yourself to have good sex.
Most of us aren't taught these things in school, so you may stumble here and there.
There's nothing to be ashamed of, we're all still learning.
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