Sometimes adulting is incredibly hard, especially when we're going through a trying time or are struggling with our health or mental health.
These pieces of advice may seem simple on the surface, but especially during the hard times, they could create a meaningful change for someone.
Redditor TheSensibleTurtle asked:
"What's the best piece of advice you've ever been given?"
Firm Boundaries
"It came from Reddit, funnily enough."
"'Set limits for what you’re prepared to give, because people who take don’t have limits for how much they’re prepared to take.'"
"I’ve definitely applied it to my life. Unfortunately, there are several people I know who have yet to apply it to theirs."
- RedWestern
Lending Money
"Never lend money you can't afford to ever see again. Also, loan money with the expectation that you're never going to see it again."
- levitatingloser
Closest Company
"The single most important decision you will make in life is your partner."
- bemest
Know What You Want
"If it's not a clear yes, then it's a no."
- hiraeth_99
Not Forever
"Nothing is permanent. Jobs, relationships, good times, and bad times."
"Something I say to myself when making big decisions."
- Real_Bridge_5440
Relationship Goals
"In relationships: It's not you and your significant other against each other. It's both of you against the problem."
- MaxRptz
Time After Time
"A very rich friend of mine told me that he can buy or access almost anything at this stage of his life, except time. Make the most of every moment."
- phalangepatella
Drink Your Water
"Drink water."
"I had a friend's mom down my childhood street that insisted this was the curative agent for all that ailed you. And most of the time, she was not wrong."
"Indigestion? Water. Constipated? One tall glass of water every hour at least. Headache? Water."
"Her kid got the flu and his mom was like, 'I'm not taking him to the doctor. What are they gonna do? Tell him to drink water and eat food? I'm not paying 20 bucks and waiting an hour to hear that."
- elementaryfrequency9
Gossip Goes Both Ways
"People who gossip about others to you, gossip about you to others."
- CommunicationNo5292
Communication Is Key
"You have the right to tell someone how they make you feel."
- RockyMtnOysterCo
Be Prepared
"Never attempt to fix a plumbing problem when the hardware store is closed."
"It was from my dad. I am pretty sure that he learned it the hard way!"
- tg1024
You Are Worth More
"Your job doesn't define you."
- vander_blanc
No Self-Sacrifice
"Don’t set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm."
- Phoenix_of_Asclepius
Financial Perspective
"If you can just barely afford a house then you can’t afford it really. Something for new homeowners to bear in mind."
"Have some friends that bought a very expensive house. They used every bit of what they were able to be loaned. They now work just to be able to live in the house. Tried to tell them that if the majority of their income goes to the mortgage, then they can't afford the house."
- Effurlife13
Be Happy
“'Just do the things that make you happy and don’t do the things that don’t make you happy.'"
"From an ex-boyfriend who said this to me years ago. It’s so simple but kind of blew my anxious little self’s mind."
- Dizzy-Worldliness-20
Don't Listen to Them
"'Don’t take criticisms from someone you wouldn’t take advice from.'"
"I suffer from insecurities and have had people make some horrendous comments to me in my life. Someone once told me the above quote and it made something click in my head. From then on, things have been a h**l of a lot better."
- FluffyDaedra
While some of these tips appear resoundingly simple, they could be a real life-changer if put into practice.
People Explain Which Sayings They Grew Up With That Are Actually Unique To Their Family
Well, that's the way the apple pie bakes. You know that saying, right? ...No? Okay I'll just leave now.
Every family has a set of idiosyncrasies that are related to them and only them. Included among that? Sayings.
What were some of your family's?
tysmily asked:
What are sayings you grew up hearing only to find out they were unique to your family?
Here were some of those answers.
The Expensive Monster
Younger Me: "Dad I don't want to walk downstairs at night. It's too dark."
Dad: "There's no monsters. We can't afford monsters."
O_O
My mom would always say "it's behind the milk!" when we would look for something and couldn't find it. Inevitably whatever we were looking for one day was simply behind the milk in the fridge and we couldn't find it. My mom exclaimed this from across the house in frustration and it became the exclamation for anything someone is trying to find. Meaning look harder, actually move other objects instead of just blankly staring.
At Least It's Not Canned Bread
I used to run a pub. I had to refuse to serve a rather inebriated young man. Rather than say 'you think you're the best thing since sliced bread' he actually said: ' you think you're a slice of bread'.
Since then, in our family, anytime one of us does something rather clever, we are accused of thinking we are a slice of bread.
Someone's UK
"Not Kicking The Arse Off" generally meaning 'about' and 'around'. E.g "It's not kicking the arse off 10 o'clock" My mum made it up many years ago and we've always used it, however the full saying is "Not kicking the arse of a donkeys back" Didn't know it wasn't an actual term until a few years ago.
Is This Like White Shoes After Labor Day?
"Red shoes, no knickers."
My mum said this, that there's an implication women wearing red shoes weren't wearing any undies. Still haven't met anyone who has ever heard of it.
The Skittles Approve
My mum often says "they have a face like a slapped arse" whenever she is talking about co workers who aren't taking her constructive criticism well. They often have a pinched expression, lips pressed tightly together/puckered like an actual arse hole...
When my dad is done eating and is asked if he wants more food, he will often reply "mate, I'm full as a zoo keepers boot!" (I'm Australian)
He also says "they were giving out brains, you thought they said trains and you missed it" when I didn't listen to instructions.
My personal one is "they're a few skittles/crayola short of a rainbow" if someone is a bit off mark on something.
English?????
"What time dark" was something we would say to ask like the general question of when was like dinner and down time.
Turns out my parents were a** face drunk on vacation in a different part of the world before me and my sister were born when my mom turned to my dad and proclaimed "what time dark". Because she wanted to see the sun set but couldn't get the thoughts together.
So from 1-16 I thought it was a common saying, and from 16-24 when my mom passed every time she said something stupid we would just go "WhAt TiMe dArK???"
The Poor Goats
"You got goats"
My family's way of saying you had a wedgie, because it looked like there was a goat in your crack eating your pants. Quite embarrassing when I found out that wasn't a common phrase...
From All Sides
I didn't have any family "sayings" growing up. When I married my wife, though, dayum!
"At a hundred yards on a galloping horse, they ain't gonna notice." Obvious mistakes to you aren't obvious to anyone else.
The answer to how're you doing? "Fair in the middle, better'n some, worse'n others."
And instead of saying Um or Uh, or other follow on "fillers", they'd use "Well, what I'm gettin' at is:" or "With that..."
Well, 'Tis
Growing up with an Asian mom that was working on perfecting her English, she would often say "Aw that is the suck" instead of, you know, "that sucks".
Didn't take long for us to catch on and correct her but it was so funny we just kinda stuck to it, so when something is crappy now I'll instinctively say in my head "well that is the suck"
People Share The Sayings That People Use Without Realizing How Offensive They Are
-Sigh- Okay, time to educate ourselves.
It's 2019. Being offensive is 100% not okay. And yes, we get that sometimes it happens by accident, but we need to learn more about it so that it doesn't keep on happening. You dig?
Let's take a look at some of those offensive sayings now.
u/tedioustiger asked:
What is something people say without realizing it's offensive?
Here are some of those answers.
How Does One "Look" That Way
"Oh wow, you don't look Autistic."
Yeah, thanks. I knew that. But thanks. I guess.
Not Your Life To Live
If you are single, when are you gonna find someone?
If you are in a relationship, when are you guys getting married?
If married, when are you guys gonna have kids?
If you have a kid, when are you gonna have a second child. The first one will be lonely.
Arrrgh!!!!
Not Important
I have a chronic illness. If I have to hear "at least you don't have cancer" one more time...
"But you don't look sick/really? you look so good." Thanks for totally dismissing my daily struggles because I don't fit your vision of "sick". I often respond with, "well, it's good the outside doesn't reflect the inside". Or "That's because I am so awesome that I make chronic illness look good."
Assimilation, Not Actuality
Idk if this applies to everyone, but this irks the hell out of me.
When I come out to people, sometimes I get this line: "Oh wow, you're a very straight gay person, I would have never guessed!" Usually coming from people I've known for a hot second before I came out.
I don't like that this is attributed to me. I'd much much rather be slightly effeminate and flamboyant. I feel better about myself when I do. I want to be able to talk about my relationship openly with a group.
The pattern of behavior that leads to that assessment is not a representation of the person I want to be. It's a façade born out of a necessity to pass as straight for my own safety. Praising that behavior sets me 10 steps back from where I am now.
Your Mind IS Your Body
I'm bipolar. I was diagnosed 20 years ago. I live a very routine oriented life with no drinking or recreational drugs. I go to my doctor and take my meds regularly.
Last year, for the first time in 15 years — I had a mental breakdown. It required me to take 6 weeks off work. When my co-workers caught word of what happened, I can't tell you how many "you need to spend time in nature" or invitations I received to church (because apparently Jesus would fix it).
I have a chemical imbalance. Just like you can't pray a heart attack away, you can't magically adjust your brain chemistry.
No Taking Sides
Some people assume that in break ups or relationships (of any kind) that someone is always at fault. Just. One. Person.
Nope. It can be both or none at all. Not everything is one person's fault. Especially if they're dumped or the dumpee.
Pisses me off so much when someone does this. They do it for fighting/arguing too.
Just Think For TWO Seconds, Please
When someone loses a child saying "It's a blessing that you have other children". No, it's still a loss that no one should ever face.
When someone says you look "good for your age". That implies that you look like crap but because you're old you did the best you could.
"Oh your children look nothing like you, so good looking/beautiful". Well, thanks it's nice to know I look like garbage.
Bye, Felicia
I've had many conversations with less open-minded people about video games and whether or not it's ok for adults to enjoy them. One of the responses I got were, and I quote "No like it's okay to like them, if like you don't have a girlfriend or like Friends and stuff, but most people have those things so they don't need them" The heck? Is that really something you say to somebody's face? A person who you know for a fact plays a lot of video games? To which I replied "Yeah sorta like how it's okay to like football if you don't have the mental capacity to understand any other form of entertainment." Shut her up real quick.
My Feelings Are Hurt
"you look tired" - are you genuinely concerned about my lack of sleep, or are you just trying to say I look like trash?
"Must be so nice to not have your boyfriend around to annoy you all the time" - as someone in a long distance relationship, I wish my boyfriend was around to annoy me all the time. An ocean and a 6hr time difference are no fun.
Comparisons
Anything where you're tearing one person down to lift another person up.
As a creator, it really sucks to get compliments on your work at the expense of other creators. For example, "Wow, your cosplay is so good! I saw someone else cosplaying [same character] earlier but they didn't look nearly as good as you!" or "You know, I really hate that character you're cosplaying, but you still look good as them so good job!"
Those aren't compliments. They're insults towards other creators disguised as compliments. You can just say "I like your work" without bringing up that other guy whose work you hate as a point of comparison.
People Break Down The Dumbest Thing Anyone Has Ever Seriously Said To Them
In grade school, a handful of us were discussing where some of our relatives lived outside of California.
When a classmate mentioned having relatives in New Mexico, an eavesdropper genuinely asked:
To be fair, we were young pupils who had much to learn, but we still chuckled at the very innocent inquiry.
Redditor throughawayjoke asked:
The Eager Patron
"Excitedly told me that a stripper he bought a lap dance from liked him so much that she asked him to come back again to see her."
– thirteenpants
Everyone's Favorite Customer
"A buddy of mine is like this with bartenders/servers we go to the same bar pretty frequently and hes convinced that the bartenders there are attracted to him. He doesnt understand that the reason that they come over and talk to him is because he always tips them a minimum of $20 each night, normally its more."
– Legion_707
Bleach Bath
"Is this all the bleach we have?" This was said by my sister who was holding a gallon of bleach in each hand. Her plan? She was going to fill the bath tub up with bleach and bathe in it because she wanted to bleach her hair blonde."
– not-a-real_username
Mummy Dearest
"While watching the Mummy 2, these mummies are chasing a bus thru London. My mom asks, 'they didn't use real mummies did they?'"
– Pickle-Wife
Her Way On The Highway
"Had a roommate in college that would drive me everywhere cause she had a car and I didn't. The first time I got on the highway with her she got on the left lane and floored it. We were going 90+ on a 60. I freaked out and asked her why the hell she was going so fast. She said, 'What's the big deal? There's no speed limit on the left lane on a highway. You can go as fast as you want!' She refused to slow down till we had to take our exit. We had a long argument on why that wasn't true that involved calling several people and googling things to prove it to her."
– sm1020
The Environmentalist
"While driving with my sister's then-boyfriend to go disc golfing, he was staring up in the sky very intensely. I asked him what he was doing and he replied, 'Just doing my part for the environment.' Confused, I inquired further. He then went on to say how chemtrails from planes are spreading chemicals, but if you stare at the chemtrails, you can use your willpower to get rid of them. He was bat-sh*t crazy. Lizardmen crazy."
– PittiePower
One Of These Are Mythical
"With my mother at an aquarium. 'Are those seahorses or unicorns? I always get them mixed up.'"
– Educational_Ad9260
Once More With Volume
"A friend of mine met and married a German man. She lived there with him. He speaks English and is very fluent. Yes, there's an accent but he's perfectly understandable."
"After they married they came back to the US to have a reception for her side of the family and friends."
"As one particular family friend was making his good byes he goes up to the husband and shouts, slowly, 'IT WAS...VERY NICE MEETING YOU! I HOPE....YOU ENJOY...YOUR...VISIT!!!"'The whole room has stopped talking at this point. The husband says 'Thank you. Maybe next time we meet you'll speak English more quietly.' (In a very joking manner)
"Man was a bit embarrassed as he hadn't realized what he was doing."
"The whole 'if you talk louder they'll understand you' situation was hilarious."
– stitcherfromnevada
Vegan Lady
"'Turkey is vegan."'
"-Random lady stating that she's vegan and then proceeding to order a club sandwich."
"I was the waiter."
– millennium-popsicle
All About The Eyes
"I was waiting at the DMV, and my baby was asleep in his carrier on the floor. Some totally normal-looking middle-aged guy in a suit leaned over and smiled at him, then said, 'How cute! Are his eyes open yet?'"
"Dude literally thought humans were like puppies or kittens."
– NoCuntryforToldMen
Two Things At Once
"You're Korean? I thought you said you were Asian."
– _WhiskeyTrance
Cautious Pet Owner
"I shouldn't be giving my dogs ice water because ice has chemicals."
– Xenocrosser
"dihydrogen monoxide is SCARY 😱"
– HEXN3T
Completely Lost
"What county is Germany in again?"
– spicybEtch212
Well quite a lot of them, there for a while.
– steelgate601
Not How That Works
"I was talking about how i was getting a birth control implant in a few weeks and someone asked if i was scared of getting stuck up my butt."
"Had to clarify with him that birth control implants dont go up the butt...."
– fang_silverwing2
Milk & Navels
"An old school friend refused to breastfeed or formula feed their baby. They gave the baby milkshakes instead. Because ya know 'milk is milk.'"
"Also my mother told me, (in all seriousness) that we have belly buttons because that's where our tails used to be."
– OnemoreSavBlanc