When we're kids, we expect the adults in our lives to notice everything, know everything, and maintain a just, sound moral order.
Psh, don't hold your breath.
Whether it's a teacher, the parent supervising a playdate, or mom and dad at home, kids expect them to have eyes on the back of their heads.
That way, when a kid gets into a spat with a peer, has something stolen, or feels a quiet emotion, the adult in the room will respond with full knowledge of all the facts at play.
But adults are just human beings with a limited bandwidth in their heads. Half the time they're doing other things when the incident goes down.
So they weigh in as best as they can with the limited info they receive--usually in the form of two screaming children pointing at one another.
Curious to learn about the times when the adult got it wrong, Redditor Butterat_Zool asked:
"What minor injustice was wrought upon you as a child that you're still salty about today?"
Many people talked about times when a prized possession was stolen, destroyed, or squandered. Sure, things are just things.
But to kids they mean a whole lot.
Covering Her Tracks
"We had a special arts and crafts week when I was about six, maybe younger. I made my dad a Christmas stocking out of clay, because I'd always thought it was unjust that he didn't have one. It was going to be my Christmas presents to him."
"I took it to the teacher to show her, and so it could be fired later. She methodically destroyed it by balling it up in her hands, and then tried to put it down to a brain fart. I was shocked, but mostly I wanted a replacement stocking, since it was meant to be a gift. I asked her to remake it for me, since she, a teacher, would be allowed to use the clay any time, but I only had a few minutes left."
"The next day I was told I'd been bad and I wasn't allowed to participate in the arts and crafts week any more, and that was that."
No Help From Pa
"When I was 4 I had a little red rocking horse necklace. It was my favourite. I wore it to a puppet show my dad took me to one day and took it off and put it beside me."
"The kid next to me picked it up and wouldn't give it back. We fought."
"My dad told her dad he didn't recognize the necklace and let her take it. I'm 45 and still salty."
In-School Pawn Shop
"Teacher took my 2ft long pencil and sold it to another student."
"Yup. A few teachers at that school sold supplies like pencils to students. It just so happened that this one was taken from me because it was 'too distracting' "
All Them Nintendos
"When I was younger I wanted a Sega Dreamcast. My parents wouldn't just buy it for me, since 'I already had enough Nintendos.' I got a job at Hollywood Video. I couldn't even drive yet, so I would ride my BMX to work in my tuxedo uniform."
"When I saved enough money, I told my parents I was going to buy it myself. They told me no. When I asked why, they said it was to teach me that I can't always get what I want, even if I can afford it."
"I bought one anyway and successfully hid it from them. Every night when I went to 'bed,' I'd hook up the Dreamcast and play as quietly as possible. I still give them sh** for that decision, but they stand by it."
Other people fixated on the times an adult embarrassed them in front of multiple people. Of all the examples given, these are enough to make you really worry about some of the people watching kids out there.
"We were on a field trip to some Washington forest and the ranger started asking about products that grow in or are made from forests."
"3rd grade me who had just discovered in some Ranger Rick article that latex rubber comes from tree trunks confidently raised my hand to share."
" 'Uh rubber from trees, now that doesn't sound right does it' and she moved onto another. 35 years later and the salt is still there."
"In 4th grade our teacher told us to write a paper about what we thought of our school, now our school wasn't great and I was homeschooled up until that year and struggling with the change so wrote about my frustrations and how I was generally unhappy with it..."
"...and she insulted me in front of everybody until the point that I cried and then told me I should get up and read the paper to the class, I refused and she made me rewrite that paper until it was positive, you know instead of trying too help me with the problems I had"
Don't Cross a Paleo Nerd
"I was failed on an essay in English class because my interpretation was incorrect. The poet was describing an airplane and they asked us to figure how what it was being interpreted or anthropomorphized as."
"I was a paleo nerd and chose a pterosaur, because the author described the engines as screeching, and heaving, wings outstretched but still, etc. This was in 6th grade and in my essay I wrote 'and pterosaurs weren't like modern birds, they certainly didn't chirp!' "
"The teacher specifically read my essay out loud to the class as an example of something bad and wrong and 'incorrect.' She also didn't know what a pterosaur was or how you say pterodactyl. Big Salt could mine me until the sun explodes."
And finally, others shared the times they found themselves doing the wrong thing, in the wrong place, at the wrong time. The adult only saw a snippet of a much broader context of behavior.
And the minimal knowledge led them to punish exactly the wrong person.
"Someone's phone went off in class, so teacher demanded that person turn their phone it. No one budges. She holds us in class for a good 20 minutes into the next period antagonizing us about this phone that rung. Eventually she let us go and warned all other teachers about this phone incident."
"My 8th period teacher then gets involved and antagonizes us all again. Said he was gonna stand out in the hall and whoever knows anything to report to him. Some kid went out there and said it was my phone. I got yelled at, got written up for Saturday detention, and later that year found out the kid who told on me was the one who's phone rung in class."
The One Time
"In kindergarten, we sat on this foam mat made out of large puzzle pieces, and we were all assigned one. My puzzle neighbor, Tommy, threw his garbage onto my square. Every time I pushed it off, he'd put it back."
"I eventually got mad and told him to knock it off, and the teacher noticed and yelled at me for throwing garbage into his square. I sat out for the rest of the day and my pin was brought down to 'bad day'. I accidentally broke his nose on the metal spider a few weeks after during tag, though."
Pulled In to the Chatter Hole
"Once a week, in kindergarten, they would pick a name of a kid who would win a toy. Only good kids could participate."
"I was alway a good kid, but not really lucky. My name got picked only once in the whole year. That day, unfortunately for me, I was next to a kid who would not shut up during the lesson. I spoke once to ask him to please stop talking. Guess who the teacher chose to punish for disturbing the lesson? That's right. Me. Didn't get my toy."
Until some kind of horrifying technology comes out that allows adults to see and know every facet of their child's existence, tiny injustices like this will proliferate.
But perhaps those couple slights are totally worth the freedom of adults that don't know everything we're up to.
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We wander through life surrounded by so many people all jockeying for position based on their own motivations. Hopefully, we try to be kind to each other throughout the whole chaotic mess.
But things happen. People get slighted, forgotten, or plain abused by others. It's sucks, and we'd better accept that possibility if we plan to stay sane at all.
Ideally, we move one after someone steps on our toes. We might even forgive. If not, life afterwards is spent carrying just a little extra weight.
Unfortunately, we don't always behave ideally. Sometimes, we fester and hold grudges even when it's not in our best interest.
After all, we're emotional beings with a reptilian core in our brain. Old habits die hard and we act on impulse all the time.
IOughtToBeThrownAway asked, "What are you still angry about that you should just get the f*** over?"
Sleep With One Eye Open, Ashley
"In 8th grade, Ashley stole my really nice lipstick that I'd saved up for. And the color didn't even look good on her."
"I'm 36 and it still pisses me off."
A Very Bold Guest
"I hadn't been home all day, just got off work and was just burnt out."
"My roommate invited two friends over to hang out and drink some wine in the kitchen which was in the same area as the living room (open floor plan)."
"I didn't wanna join so said I was just gonna relax with my dinner and watch my show - we are both fine with this plan."
"Anyways, I'm sitting there watching my show (at a normal volume) minding my own business and one of her friends starts complaining about 'the atmosphere not being fun' and saying she was bothered that she could hear my show."
"I ignored it and pretended I couldn't hear it and my roommate asked her friend if it was too loud and her friend said 'it isn't loud but I just don't wanna hear it at all you know? It's girls night.'"
"She asks me to turn it down so I say sure and turn it down a few clicks."
"This girl then walks over, grabs the remote AND TURNS OFF THE TV. Then lectures me about how 'it's rude to watch TV while people are socializing' and says I need to just get over myself and be social."
"Bi*** WTF?! THIS IS MY HOUSE - YOU DON'T LIVE HERE, AND IT IS A WEDNESDAY."
"It's been years and my petty ass still gets pissed thinking about it haha"
An Eternal Lesson
"How social networking and likability will generally advance your career faster than competence and work ethic will."
"Not in all cases or careers, but I used to be bitter watching brown nosers and yes-men shoot past me while I thought my work ethic would speak for itself."
"One of my school principals told a pupil in my class to write down everything questionable that I said/did over the course of a month and submit it to her without my knowledge."
"The snitch submitted her letter and the teacher straight away mailed it to my mom and dad."
"Thankfully they saw the absurdity of what she was doing and WENT TO TOWN on the school for bullying pupils. Still makes me boil thinking about it to this day."
Life With Roommates
"someone I knew a long time ago used to make PB&J sandwiches a frequent amount of the time and when ever they made one they would never clean the damn knife they were using and we would frequently have jars of peanut butter and jelly mixed together..."
"...I told them countless numbers of times 'clean the knife' they would always respond with OK but the next f***ing day I would see them doing the same thing!"
"god I hated them for that."
A 33 Year Egg Grudge
"In line at a wedding dinner."
"Lady in front of me was talking to the lady behind me in line. After 3 minutes of being awkward guy in between them, I said 'here, I'll just trade you spots' and let the lady behind me go in front."
"That bi*** took the last deviled egg. This was in 1987."
An Unfortunate Likeness
"Someone told me they thought I was attractive because I look like Ed Sheeran."
"A second someone told me Ed Sheeran was better looking than me."
"Now, I don't think I'm God's gift to your retinas, but I neither look like that butt gnome, nor look worse than that butt gnome."
"I look like Rupert Grint's and Matt Mercer's love child not Ed pubic beard Sheeran."
"Avatar, the giant international blockbuster, used the papyrus font as it's logo." -- gspi1005
"Some graphic designer just typed out Avatar, highlighted it, clicked the drop down and chose... papyrus. Makes me sick" -- jesusjedi
"I had to look at the poster to see for myself. Dear God, you're right." -- CONFETA
A Collective Sigh
"Game of Thrones last season. It's like eating the best meal of your life and then you find a piece of sh** in it" -- IammYourDAD
"I always think about how much money that series must have lost in 'the entire series'-DVD sales. Like, based on seasons 1-6, buying the entire series was going to be absolutely mandatory for me."
"Probably 150 bucks or more for the whole show on blu-ray and probably a couple more formats in the future and I would have been happy to buy it."
"Then that series ended with an absolute dumpster fire. I will never buy a single season of that show on any format, never mind the entire thing. And I doubt I'm alone in that." -- BigNikiStyle
All About the Add Ons
"While buying a new mattress I got convinced by the salesman to also get a tempur-pedic pillow for $100."
"I want my $100 back."
"I lost Judy's phone number in college."
"I still think about Judy and what would have happened if I called her."
"Judy if you're out there I honestly lost your number because I'm dumb."
"The f***ing Mexican restaurant that gave me sliced avocados on cinco de mayo and called it guacamole. I brought it back (it was a to go order) and they just gave it a few smashes with a fork or something and gave it back."
"No tomatoes, onions, cilantro, salt, nothing. I just got half-a**ed mashed avocados and chips and they charged me like $8."
"This was six months ago and I'm still mad."
"When I was 9 we had swim class and I was a very good swimmer for my age."
"To pass the final test we had to do some swimming underwater. I misheard what we had to do and did it wrong, I also went first so no one to compare it too."
"The swim teacher fails me and does not let me do it again. However the poor swimmers who were physically unable to do it got to retake it."
"I should mention that the swim teacher was a woman and everyone who was allowed more than one try was a girl."
"I felt so ashamed when everyone else (apart from the really poor swimmers) got a certificate but me."
"That one of my favorite characters in a book died. Didn't even finish the series. Just set it down and walked away forever." -- TheChosenOne_72
"When I married my first husband, half blood prince had JUST come out. So, of course, I bought it with our fat $100 'wedding' cash."
"The next day, I'm getting through the book when he starts sh!t with me. I went to the bathroom to get away from him. He ripped the book from my hands... Turned to the back of the book and straight up sneered....DUMBLEDORE DIES" -- buttholeismyfavword
The Backroom Gossip
"Raised my hand in class, teacher says 'oh I've heard about you.' She basically told me that all the teachers talk about me on their break."
"17 year old me was pissed about the immaturity of my teachers."
A Sore Subject
"My cat got out and 'ran away.' During a fight with my ex he said it was because I was a sh!tty catmom."
"Lmao that was years ago but I still wish him misfortune for saying such a stupid thing."
"In high school I had a prom Limo set up with people I considered good friends. They kicked me out because i was adamantly against drinking (still am)."
"I didnt care if they drank, I just didnt want to. I didnt go to prom at all after they silently started ghosting me."
"My bully from elementary school smashed a 'Game of the Goose' board on his own face and framed me."
"I'm still angry some twenty years later..."
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There are some betrayals from childhood that still linger within us as adults.
In grade school, I suffered a bout of acid reflux while leaning over the classroom balcony and didn't realize I had been drooling.
My teacher, "Mr. K" – who was highly revered by my peers – was approaching the building and witnessed my moment of uncontrolled slobbering. Gross, I know.
But I was not directly above anyone and I was too focused on the discomfort in my throat and chest to notice my mouth was agape, I promise.
I was subsequently confronted by Mr. K – who assumed I was hawking loogies at my classmates.
I couldn't articulate what my condition was at the time.
He yelled at me in front of everyone and I started crying out of frustration, unable to defend myself.
And then I was suspended.
After all these years, I still have a grudge towards Mr. K for accusing me of being a serial spitter and making me miss school for a week.
Do you still have resentment over something that happened a long time ago?
Redditor xefarar565 asked:
Thieving Among Friends
"Twenty years ago I had three friends show up at my house and when they left my wallet with $80 in it was missing. One of the guys felt bad and gave me $20 back. Three years after that we are in the BK drive thru and he whipped out my wallet. Still salty. His FB friend request has just been sitting there for like two years."
F–U, Mrs. Harding
"I've mentioned this before, but when I was about eight or nine, we had a big project in school which ended with us writing a story. I spent f'kin' hours on this thing. It was going to be the best book ever. It was only a matter of time before it was snapped up by some publisher and then it would be the talk of the Scholastic Book Fair, no doubt in my mind. It absolutely had to be in by the time school finished for Christmas, so my teacher could mark it over the break, so I stayed up until about ten o'clock at night for about a week beforehand working on it -- which, you know, is the closest thing you get to an all-nighter when you're about nine. It was my Magnum Opus.
"I got back to school in January to find that a) she had lost it, b) she was accusing me of not handing it in, and c) because mine was the only one she couldn't find, she decided to call me out in front of the class about it. I ended up locking myself in the toilet because I was crying so much. Worst still, it later transpired that when it 'turned up after all', she marked it as though it was handed in late, and the b*tch still only gave me a middling grade.
"F'k you, Mrs. Harding."
"My sister got a brand new car for her 16th birthday...I got $20."
"$20 is enough to buy a hammer."
Walking Off In Style
"I was at a house party in college and we had to take off our shoes. Some b*tch walked home in my leather knee high boots and I've never gotten over it."
"In elementary school, there was a pencil machine in the front lobby where you could get pencils for 25 cents. There were also 'special' pencils that had stars on them. If you got one of these special pencils, you could take it into the office and get a prize."
"One day, I decided to get a pencil. I put in my quarter and out popped TWO pencils. And one of them was a special pencil! I went into the office and told the lady at the desk that the machine gave me two pencils and one of them was special. She proceeded to say that the machine shouldn't do that, took the special pencil, and didn't give me a prize. That was 19 years ago and I'm still pissed."
The Skeptical Teacher
"Me and another kid in 6th grade both got 100% on our quiz, so our teacher figured we must've cheated. Both of us were perplexed, the quiz just wasn't that hard. But she was having none of it. I remember begging her in the hallway, literally sobbing, to not give me a 0 because I didn't f*cking cheat, and I was a straight A student. She gave me the 0. I stopped caring about As on that very day."
"I was probably 5 years old visiting my mom at the hospital after she gave birth to my brother and she was given food on a tray which she didn't want so she gave it to me. I put the tray on the table and as I was eating, the nurse takes the tray away from me and throws away the food. That may have my first true instance of anger in my life. I'm 27 now and I'm pissed as I'm writing this haha."
"When my old boss pulled out the 2020 calendar (in late 2019) and asked everyone what days off they need so we can plan ahead and around. Everyone was spitting off dates. I didn't have any plans yet so I didn't request anything until she specifically asked me if I needed/wanted any dates off."
"I shrugged and asked for ONE day around my birthday because why not, and she started mocking me in front of everyone. 'It's just a 23rd birthday, why would you need that off? But ooookkkk ....' obviously rolling her eyes, then started treating me like an idiot the rest of the day."
"They cancelled My Name Is Earl after telling the writers that it was definitely safe to end season 4 on a cliffhanger as they were going to make several more."
"Also still super salty over FlashForward/Utopia getting cancelled. Seems like half of the shows I get invested in are killed halfway through."
Sun And Stars
"In a 5th grade science test the question was, 'Are there any stars in the solar system.'"
"I answered, 'Yes.'"
"Teacher marked it wrong."
"I went up afterwards and said, 'What about the Sun?'"
"He said, he meant that all the other stars are not in our solar system and kept it marked wrong."
"Although I am harboring this for 50 years now, he was all-around one of the best teachers I ever had and just passed away a week or so ago."
"But damn, that should have been marked 'right.'"
"When I was in high school someone tagged up the school. They announced there would be a reward for anyone who rats anyone out. I get called in the office and find out I'm suspended for vandalization. I didn't do it and had no idea who. 4 days later I'm allowed to come back to school because they found who actually did it. I just got an apology."
"On a fourth grade math test we had to make a shape that had only four sides, one set of parallel lines, and only ONE right angle (there were probably more requirements but I cant remember) I remember almost crying at my desk and spending 20 minutes on that one question while constantly telling my teacher that it wasnt possible but according to her it was. And the next day we went over the answer key, and the answer had two right angles..."
The Flat Tire
"When I was in high school, I was occasionally allowed to drive my family's third car. It had a slow leak in one of the tires, so we were all supposed to check the pressure and put air in it if we needed to."
"I picked up a friend to go to a movie, and when we came out one tire was completely flat. It wasn't the one with the leak, so I put the spare on and drove home."
"I got absolute hell from my parents about it. How irresponsible I was to not check it, I'd have to pay for the repair, why didn't I call roadside assistance, etc."
"Took it to get fixed, repeat the whole lecture as we're dropping it off, and the tech who did it called my mom and told her he'd found a nail in the tire and there was no way I could have seen it coming."
"She refused to apologize and I still had to pay for it."
"In fourth grade English class (EU) I've used the word 'gross' in a random sentence we had to write. The teacher argued that it isn't a real word, I said that it is, that I saw it a few times in video games and movies and she said that they aren't a reliable source. I said to her that I'm gonna show it in the dictionary, but she instead grabbed me by the arm and took me out of the classroom and locked the door."
"To this day I am still fuming about this. And then she had the nerve to be all chummy when I met her once in a supermarket. Gross."
"Edit: In both cases it was meant like 'disgusting' and I know there are even more meanings behind the word. I wonder if she knows by now."
Not My Chicken Sandwich
"First grade some unknown kid dropped their chicken sandwich on the floor and the teacher thought it was me even though I had finished mine. She grilled me so hard, called into question the way I told the story, that I finally just took the blame for whoever dropped it because I wanted it to be over. 24 years ago and my blood still boils."