When you're in a relationship, it's important to stay alert.
Yes, you of course want to give in to love.
But when you start seeing red flags, be vigilant.
You're gut always knows more than you give it credit for.
Sometimes those flags are a sign that it's time to jump ship.
if you see them... run.
Redditor Shinfekta wanted to compare notes on why people would immediately end a relationship, so they asked:
"What red flag is an instant break up reason for you?"
The signs are always there, but I tend to put on blinders.
I need to do better.
A Big Deal
Illustration Text GIF by Jacqueline Jing Lin
Giphy
"Someone that casually says they've cheated. There's no way around that for me."
Kitchen-Bid-8235
"Or worse when they treat cheating as somehow noble."
2diceMisplaced
Hear Me!
"Wanting and demanding my attention but not reciprocating whatsoever."
Cranky_Windlass
"My ex. She would get pissed when she would talk to me about something while I was working and I wasn’t giving her my full attention. But every time I wanted to tell her something while she was doing nothing, she would get 'ADHD distracted' and completely ignore me or interrupt me to say something completely irrelevant."
ModestMustang
"I had a friend like this! he literally completely ignored me for 6 months and then blew up at me for not responding to him within an hour. Very strange."
KindBrilliant7879
Wronged
"Never admitting a mistake."
Curious-Force5819
"I know a total hottie that is notoriously known for not being able to admit he’s wrong, sucks because he’s a gem outside of this. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a fair and responsible person in general… but he 100% can’t admit he was wrong in banter or a light argument even when he realizes he realizes he’s wrong hahaha lost confidence in him ASAP."
Zomgirlxoxo
"This is a big one, even when these types of people apologize they still pass the blame. 'I'm sorry for my behavior but you made me really angry.'"
space_being135513
Never Again
"Unmanaged mental illness. Never again."
RuggedHamster
"I was with a girl that had that and I helped her through all of it and it was so hard to deal with it all but somehow I managed but when she felt better she just left me for her best friend’s ex and I was left with all that trauma because I loved her with all my heart and soul but she was just using me to feel better… and when she broke up with her best friend’s ex she came crawling back begging me to be with her again but it was too late.. the damage has already been done and I can’t do that again even though I still love her but I can’t tell her that... sorry for venting."
d7oomy998899
Afterthought
Sad Sponge Bob GIF by SpongeBob SquarePants
Giphy
"If someone makes you feel alone, that you don't matter, or if you are a second choice on most of the occasions, you need to leave."
Mycatsnameislegolas
Always know when to acknowledge your feelings.
And know when to depart.
Behavior
Andre Leon Talley Manners GIF by GIPHY News
Giphy
"How they treat animals, children, elderly, handicapped, and service workers."
"A wise man once said: judge a person not by how they treat their equals, but by how they treat their inferiors."
Major-Ad148
Just Kidding
"Being mean as their 'thing' or 'just a joke.'"
netsbr
"'I'm just sassy!'" No, you're a bi*ch."
BansheeShriek
"I’m going to be honest, with certain friends I am absolutely ruthlessly mean, to the point that people are actually concerned it’s just bullying."
"However with strangers, I’m nothing like that. And the friends that I am meant to, they do the exact same thing back to me. We also know that if we need each other, then the meanness is dropped instantly, and it’s nothing but support and love."
5tr4nGe
Well-Meaning
"Zero accountability for anything. Everything they do is absolutely justifiable because, well, they mean well."
Throw_thethrowaway
"Yeah, I was looking for this answer! And it’s true outside of romantic relationships also! I had to end a friendship over this exact behavior- it was never her fault, always the victim, and her hurtful behavior shouldn’t be addressed because she 'meant well…' but my feelings are still hurt so why don’t I matter?!"
helibear90
"This. Can't stand people who always play the victim or blame everyone else and never take accountability for what they do."
_5minutesalone
Boundaries
"This one may take a while, but I would break up if I notice them creeping over personal boundaries, and not stopping when I tell them about it."
"People cross each others' boundaries all the time. I'm happy to give the benefit of the doubt until it becomes apparent that they have no intention to respect me."
"For example, if I don't like tickles or being startled, don't do that. It's not about the tickling, it's about them respecting me. And if there's no respect, there's no relationship."
Ptatofrenchfry
Talk to Me
Sarah Jessica Parker Hbo GIF by Divorce
Giphy
"If I'm hearing about a problem in our relationship from someone else rather than the partner. It shows huge trust issues."
"I've seen three divorces in my life, and they all were the result of the girl venting to her mother and her friends about issues she should have discussed with her husband."
michajlo
Communication is key.
If you're not talking to you're partner, why are they you're partner?
Just because someone is an adult or a parent doesn't mean crazy things can't fall out of their mouths every so often.
Sometimes parents say the darndest things.
That's why we should always have a pen or a recording device at the ready.
I suggest the phone.
Just wear fitted tees with pockets and hit record.
You have know idea how much having receipts will pay off mentally later.
Redditor TheGasMove wanted to hear about what things parents have said to their kids that left kids SHOOKETH, so they asked:
"What has a parent said to you that made you go WTF?"
The amount of things my mother has said to me that has left me gobsmacked is endless.
I should've kept a journal.
Comedy gold.
The Proof
Jennifer Lawrence Reaction GIF
Giphy
"After I told my mother that I didn't open up to her or my dad because I didn't trust them with my emotions, she started screaming that she hated me. Like, girl, this is exactly why I don't tell you things 😂."
LandPiranha63
Lessons Learned
"My mom told me that women pooped babies out of their butt. I believed this until I was 12 or 13. Boy, I got laughed at when I used this as my answer when asked in Sex Ed."
Eastern-Operation275
"I (27 F) have divorced parents and my mom always taught me the proper anatomy for things and that it's nothing shameful. On the other end, one day when I was at my dad's, a stray cat gave birth on his porch, and my stepsisters (same age) told my half-sister that it was coming out of the cat's butt, and I was like dude what? I questioned them, and they gave me scornful looks like I just said something offensive. LOL."
SpaceTimeBurrito
SURPRISE!!!
"A few months ago I had gone to do a surprise visit to my grandparents on my dad’s side. While I was driving up their property I saw them walking in their groceries and witnessed seeing my dad for the first time. I had never met my dad in my life but knew my grandparents."
"I walked up and greeted my grandmother and she ushered me over to talk to my father. As I went to greet him this dude threw his hood on and jumped in his truck and locked the doors and said no words to me. Never in my life have I witnessed a grown man run away like that."
Dabtoker3000
Facts...
"My father once told me that between my brother and I, I was his favorite. This caught me off guard because I thought parents weren’t supposed to have favorites."
fun_Dip_fan
"My dad once told me I’m not his favorite. So I told him he’s not my favorite either. Proceeded to get angry."
Honest_Math_7760
"It's problematic to share with your kids that you have a favorite."
LackEfficient7867
Bald Choices
Regret No GIF by Outside TV
Giphy
"I shaved my head at 21 and kept that hairstyle for the last 28 years. My dad walked into my room when I was 26 and asked me for a comb! He looked at me, thought about it for a second, and laughed. RIP dad. I miss you."
Content-Damage8406
It's my hair. I'll do what I want to.
That's the kid's motto.
Adults not so much.
At least that was my experience.
Why Bother?
Ytho GIF
Giphy
"When I called my mother to find out a good time of year to visit her she said, 'What for?'"
Space_T0ilet
Sure Papa Joe!
"Wasn’t my parents but my Grandpa."
“'Josh can you take me to see Marge?' Marge was his long-time girlfriend who had Alzheimer’s. My GP was in his 70s at the time and we took away his car because he was a dangerous man behind the wheel, to say the least. 'Sure Papa Joe!' That or PJoe was his nickname."
"Drive him to the place Marge was cared for at. Stop at the front and ask 'How long until I come back?' He replied 'Give me an hour. That should be long enough for us to have sex.' I start crying laughing and he leaves with a giant smirk. I could never look at him again without thinking or saying 'Almost 80 and still getting after it, WTF!"
ackbosh
The Joker
"Oof. I hadn’t talked to my dad in 15 years. I decided to reach out (for certain reasons and not to restart a relationship). He asked if he could ask me about my life. I let him. I told him, among other things, I was in a wonderful relationship with a terrific gal."
“'Is this a real relationship or like the girlfriends I had when I was with your mother.'”
"I was equally glad I disowned him 15 years ago, disappointed a man and a father would speak like that to his estranged son, and angry that he was the father I was born to. He is just one big joke to me."
Silence-brothers
Chop Chop
Steve Harvey Reaction GIF
Giphy
"I would often visit the kitchen to watch how my mother cooks. One day when my father saw me coming out of the kitchen, he said 'You keep visiting the kitchen, your penis and testicles are gonna fall off. That’s how girls are made.” Context: I was 7 when he said that to me and we are a Korean family."
DeepSleepr
Learning to cook, is a great survival skill.
More dads need to get onboard with that.
Blending families is always a roll of the dice.
Sometimes people get lucky... because their in-laws are dead.
I jest.
Sometimes lovers and in-laws get along famously.
But a lot of the time significant others have to deal with in-laws that can be a lot.
Just because someone has become instant family doesn't mean you have to adore them.
They can still be horrible people, that you learn to live with.
Chosing a partner comes with strings.
And some of those strings are chains.
You have figure out how much you can bare.
Redditor fuzzyloulou wanted to see who was brave enough to call out what they despise about their in-laws, so they asked:
"Married people of Reddit, what's something you just hate about your in-laws?"
I've never had in-laws.
And I have a feeling, that was a blessing.
The Horror
never ending wash GIF by Oggy and the Cockroaches
Giphy
"My in-laws are nearly perfect. But if my MIL comes over and there are clean dishes in the sink drying, she will dry them and put them away. Even if she doesn't know where it goes, she will just guess. My life is horrible."
meyerjaw
Family Matters
"My FIL called my wife and her 3 sisters wh*res all while standing I’m MY house. The reason you ask? They all got married outside of the Catholic faith. We haven’t spoken in 6 years. Best 6 years of my life."
Patrick2337
"I could have had things turn wrong the moment I handed back the baptism contract to my mil and told her I wouldn't sign it."
"She asked why and I proceeded to tell her about how and why I dropped out of college. I took business and accounting, I don't f**k around with contracts or numbers. Then I told her about my Catholic upbringing. Changed her mind real quick. It pains me to know that my time is now limited with this woman."
KnowItOrBlowIt
Not into you...
"My MIL isn’t too nice to the kids. Granted, she has 15 grandkids, you can tell which ones she likes more. And less. My kids are in the middle."
wclure
"That sucks. I was one of those kids the grandparents liked less too. If it’s any consolation, I wasn’t too upset it just meant we weren’t as close so when they died I wasn’t super torn up."
whitepangolin
Overloaded
"The way they travel. The constant need to overpack, shop for s**t to take home, etc always results in like half a dozen overweight suitcases and carryons that they then ALWAYS have to re-organize to handle the weight and they ALWAYS expect everyone in the group to pack light to accommodate in case they have to dump s**t on you. I hate it and it pisses me off every time."
Sorry-birthday1
Not Real
Sashay Away GIF
Giphy
"How fake they are. They just care about their image and how they appear to others, very little, if anything, is genuine about them."
Unhygienictree
Why don't fake people know we see the fake?
No matter if they're strangers or family... the transparency is real.
Be Quiet
Amy Schumer No GIF by Saturday Night Live
Giphy
"I absolutely love my inlaws, but compared to my family they are REALLY loud. Like instead of taking turns talking they just talk louder over each other until someone listens. I leave with a headache, and that's including times I sneak to an empty room for peace."
kannakantplay
Just About Everything
My MIL? Love her, she's great. My FIL? Cheated on my MIL with her sister, and still sees said sister on a weekly basis while somehow still remaining married to my MIL. Bought himself and the sister a new car while my MIL drives a 20-year-old F-150. When he is home all he does is drink Budweiser from 11 am on while watching TV. And complains about everyone else in the family."
"Doesn't come to his grandkids' birthday parties and just hands us some cash to go buy something and to say it's from him. On several occasions, he's been at nice dinners and gets drunk and belligerent to the point of embarrassing everyone with him. So when it comes to my FIL, to answer the question... just about everything."
Tiberius_Jim
This Christmas Sucks!
"Oh God, do I have stories? My MIL is one of the cheapest people I have ever met and a hoarder. For my son's first birthday, she gave him a roll of paper towels because... 'Look! He loves it, doesn't even know whether it is a toy or not!' At age 3 for Christmas, she gave him some random toiletries and cleaning supplies she bought at the dollar store, wrapped them, and everything. Now I have to give my boy credit on those... after he opened them he said 'This Christmas Sucks!' which caused major drama for my wife and I."
who519
Vampires
"Oh man, how much time do you have? The number one thing is that they are drama vampires. They can’t live without it. Everything is about them, and if it isn’t, it will be soon. They are cartoonishly childish and it’s as ridiculous as it is sad. I feel terrible for my spouse and her siblings. Every family get-together is a sh**show. Number two is that they can’t make a plan without overcomplicating the ever-loving sh*t out of it, which my wife has inherited."
Studlum
Toxic
music video britney spears toxic GIF
Giphy
"My sister-in-law is one of the most toxic people I know. Total narcissist. Everything must be all about her at all times. And her husband is a codependent simp who enables her behavior. The rest of my in-laws are cool though."
celiacsunshine
Well if there was any reason to stay single, all of this it!
In-laws sound like a lot.
Redditor em0gril wanted to hear about the worst things people have ever said to be mean. So they asked:
"What is the most hurtful thing someone said to you?"
Thanks Mom...
Tyler Perry GIF by NickelodeonGiphy"'I don't know what is so special about you.' -My mother after seeing my kids get excited that I was home from work."
Legitimate_Story_333
Gloomy
"My mom, who was always emotionally abusive, get especially bad when I started dating my now husband. This included her telling me she hates me. After months of being her emotional punching bag, my depression was also not doing awesome."
"She got on meds, never apologized, never acknowledged what she said and did. I’d recently lost my job and she said my depression was bringing her down and I should move out. Haven’t spoken to her in years and don’t miss her."
UnihornWhale
No Comps?
"I worked really hard in high school in theatre (still very happy in it over 20 years later). I was accepted to every school I applied and through a donation my high awarded me a scholarship."
"In the glow of pride of this unexpected gift, my mother said in front of everyone 'I can't believe they wasted their money on you.'"
"Guess who DOESN'T get comps to my shows."
azorianmilk
Arrangements
"My daughter died at birth and I almost did too. My father told me that my stepmother was 'Really taking it hard and feels like she doesn’t have a purpose anymore/nothing to live for' because we had planned for her to babysit. She also asked me when I was hospitalized if she can have some of my daughter's ashes for herself. Keep in mind we were never close and I never even lived there."
"I was still extremely sick post-birth and never got to go to the funeral home for arrangements so my dad did. He told me a few years later when I got a potter to make her an urn 'I hope you aren’t getting rid of the one I picked out because I spent a lot of money on it.' My sister also THINKS she had a miscarriage at some point very very early on when she was a teen and told me after I lost my daughter that she has been through worse."
_Jordy_C_
Ruined
"You won't ruin my new family."
"My mom to 13ish-year-old me."
"Jokes on her, she ruined it herself."
plz2meatyu
These are the reasons therapy was invented.
For Me
Frustrated Skip Bayless GIFGiphy"My mom told me when I was 5 that I was not wanted. Now it took me 15 years to actually stop trying to please and finally live for myself."
Leather-Spite-556
Look at Me
"When my father looked at me and said he was glad I knew that I wasn't his, and he didn't have to be my Dad anymore. My mom was a habitual cheater. She had an affair with my Dad's sister's husband (my non-bio Uncle on my Dad's side). If you like the stars up on paper, I was my Uncle's kid."
"When I was a little kid, he was decent to me. When my sister was born 7 years later, her s**t didn't stink, and I had better not breathe wrong. When I told him, I knew the family's little secret. He was glad to be rid of me. He died 6 years later from a heart issue. Out of curiosity, I did a DNA test, and my sister did one too. Turns out I, in fact, was my father's son and my sister, his best friend's kid."
Traditional_Crew6617
Zero Behavior
"I’ve commented on this before but someone once said to me/about my wife that 'It sucks her dad died [last week of a sudden massive heart attack but that doesn’t give her an excuse for her behavior.]' The problem was, the statement was totally untrue. There was zero 'behavior.' The person was literally just being a cold-hearted b*tch because they took a disliking to my wife, who was only ever perfectly kind to the cold-hearted *itch."
"I excused a lot of shi**y behavior toward myself and others from that POS but this was the last straw. To not even be able to fake a decent human interaction toward someone the very week their father dies a horrific, untimely death really speaks to the kind of garbage heap of a human I was dealing with."
Straight-Two1164
Happy 50th!!
"My father told me that I would never live to the age of 50 because I was overweight. He went as far as to leave my brother and sister his estate in the will, but I was only left a small amount of money that I would only be eligible to collect after my 50th birthday. He was one of the most cruel people I have ever met in my life."
GiacintoD
24
"I was 18 when my sister (24) died suddenly of an aneurysm. For weeks after I was told SO many different iterations of 'It's all in God's plan/everything happens for a reason' that that was the start of my break from my own faith and losing my religion. I cannot imagine saying something like that to someone who just lost a sibling. I have a visceral reaction to that phrase to this day, and it was 24 years ago next month."
heyitsthatoneguy81
Wishes
Magic Carpet Genie GIF by DisneyGiphy"My dad once was angry at me and said that he wished I were an abortion. I knew even back then that he didn't mean it, yet sometimes decades later, it still stings."
MagnoliaTree3
The cruelty of parents is the worst.
We really need to watch how we speak.
Redditor fusillihair wanted to hear about the times people finally let go of a dying friendship, or six. So they asked:
"What was the final straw that made you end a friendship?"
I'm bad at accepting last straws.
So much so that I end up drawing the short straw.
In Yo Face
kim kardashian GIF by KUWTKGiphy"When he had everything going well for him in life and bought cool sh*t while I was living poorly, he'd rub it in my face. When I started being successful and finally made something for myself, he couldn't stand it."
RedSystemDroid
Saul Goodman
"When they 'Forgot' to meet up with you for the third time even though you planned those meet-ups days in advance."
Careful-Coconut-1366
"Same here had a friend that I loved like my little sister, considered her my protege in bartending, and got her job in a high-end restaurant as a bartender by doing a Saul Goodman pretending to be another bar owner. Now, Super Bowl is a very important event since they can meet my friends plus everyone has a good time in the sports and entertainment area."
"I invited her a month in advance, reminding her 3 days behind, and told her when the game kicked off, and she didn't show up, aww shucks maybe she got stuck on something, nope she just ghosted me and never offered an apology or explanation, and a month back from now, I sent a meme just to get a response and chat and ''Get my moment',' but ghosted me, since then I cut her off which is sad since I really liked her."
Comando396
6 Months Later
"Dude bought a new house a block from my job and I was over there after work every single day to help him paint or move stuff. Once he moved in I didn't hear from him for 6 months. When we did talk he claimed to not know the location of my work otherwise he'd visit. But before this, there were years of making plans knowing he wouldn't make it or already have other engagements."
GlassHeart09
Left Out
"Seeing my old friend group constantly post photos to social media of them out doing things and having fun while I’m sitting at home. I brushed it off at first. But after I made it clear when I was off a few times and still got no invites I just stopped contacting them."
Background_Income710
"Had a similar experience. Realized it was either me inviting everyone to go somewhere or them hanging out without me. I was depressed, for unrelated reasons, and nobody reached out (I wrote in a group chat that I feel really bad, borderline suicidal). Later found out they have a separate chat, without me. And we're all in our 30s, not in high school, so I was so perplexed by this behavior"
.aoi4eg
Follow Her
New Girl Facepalm GIF by HULUGiphy"She gave me crap for wanting to go back to school to complete my degree. She was lonely and she wanted me to move to her small town and rent the other half of the duplex she and her husband owned."
S**tForDownVotes
Never trust someone who doesn't want you to be better yourself.
Talk about a last straw!
Try Again
danger bully GIF by nogGiphy"I was getting cyber bullied by someone in our friend group, removed him from the GC, and they kept telling me I should be friends with him again because he probably 'learned his lesson.' Each time they added him back, it was worse. I cut all ties."
ZobiBakugou
All about... THEM!
"Him saying 'What have you done for me?' in an unprompted call-out. He was holding food I bought him, with a bag with drawings I made for him. The friendship was completely one-sided. Watch out for all-take-no-give people, guys."
Fake-And-Gay-Bot
"Had a 'best friend' like that. She always expected everyone to cover for her whenever we go out to eat and would always whine about being 'broke.' This one time I had a peak of her looking at her bank account and she had more than enough money to cover for herself. She just didn’t wanna spend any of her money."
minombrevanillamamba
On Snapchat
"I was friends with this girl in college. One semester, my friend group, decide to be in a group for a semester-long assignment. There were multiple parts to the assignment, one was going on a class trip, each person taking a section of a paper, and then the last was a display of some sort."
"On the day we were compiling the display for class, this girl says she had a doctor's appointment but she would hurry back. That would be fine because everyone didn't get out of classes to meet up until a certain time. She didn't show up because she went out on a date and then got her car washed. Which she posted on Snapchat."
"She showed up 20 minutes before the class started and our other friend who had been helping us, WHO DIDN'T EVEN TAKE THE CLASS, had to give her the what-for because we were all so furious. It was after that that I looked back and realized it wasn't the first project she jeopardized, and she did some other shady sh*t like putting another friend in a dangerous situation. After that, I cut her out of my life completely."
smith_716
The Final Final...
"They were an 'I can do to you, but you can’t do to me' person. They could talk about you all they wanted, but as soon as someone said something about them, they would blow up. The final final straw was they tried to break two friends up so they made a group chat to try and get other friends on their side. We told the two friends about it, and the two friends confronted the one friend. The one friend tried to pass the blame on someone else but, the two friends knew the truth. We all eventually phased them out."
CrownD3m0n
Then Dinner?
Black And White Illustration GIF by Denyse®Giphy"When I reach out to get together for lunch to catch up, and they say they’ll check their calendar and get back to me. And then they don’t get back to me."
I've gotten exhausted of the "I'll get back to you" crowd.
Three times and your OUT!