Redditor lionprincesslioness wanted to hear about the idiotic reasons people have been taunted by others, so they asked:
"What is the dumbest thing somebody has made fun of you for?"
I was made fun of for everything.
I lost track of it all.
I've moved on.
That's why my therapist has a beach house.
Horrible Kids
Will Smith Smh GIF by The Academy AwardsGiphy"My mom being dead... I was 13."
eminva02
"That sucks on both counts. I hope you're doing great now and they're not."
thefragileapparatus
A Real Man
"My husband got made fun of because he takes care of his kids. Bunch of older guys making fun because my husband changed diapers."
babylightgirl
"I just became a father and I can't imagine not changing my babyâs diapers, rocking her to sleep, and being around her every day. A man who makes fun of another man for taking diligent care of his kids is just insecure about his own manhood and has horribly suppressed childhood memories of not being loved and hugged enough."
ATastyPickle
"I changed diapers on my girls, I also talk to them about puberty and breasts and menstruation, I'm their f**king dad and that's what I choose to do."
omac4552
Offended
"I'm in college, I wrote a paper about how my parents met and got married. (Met in a bar, eloped 6 months later). A super religious lady in my class got offended and complained to the teacher that I was promoting non-Christian values and sinning. I defended myself by saying I was promoting love, that's all, and it comes in different shapes and sizes, time frames, etc. The teacher stood up for me and told her college might not be her thing if she gets so easily offended. My parents will celebrate their 42nd wedding anniversary in less than 2 weeks."
ârealRavenbell
Give it a Comeback
"Some bald guy tried to make a joke about me having a big forehead. I told him, 'At least my forehead stops somewhere.'"
RandomUsername420
"Thatâs a great comeback. This annoying bald guy I know always makes fun of my weight (and other womenâs weight). Heâs a boomer, but itâs some ancient form of begging."
"One time I got fed up cause he said 'Hey, are you pregnant again?' when I was obviously just having a fatter moment and I said, 'No, are you still bald or did you find a cure?' He got so sulky and quiet after that. Itâs not my proudest moment cause I wouldnât normally dream of mocking someoneâs appearance but I just felt great cause he sucks and he needs to be taken down a few notches."
Latke_Kid
Toughen Up
Oh No Facepalm GIF by AminĂŠGiphy"Was once told by my drunk brother that I wasn't tough enough because I had never been to jail. I told him I was never dumb enough to go to jail. He was arrogant when he drank, RIP."
Cold-Committee-7719
Some siblings really don't know when to quit!
It's hard when you can't escape the demons.
Faded
Workout Working Out GIF by Sesame StreetGiphy"My gym clothes in middle school. We all literally had the same exact shorts and shirt, women included. It was just green basketball shorts and a gray shirt, and one of my fellow students called me out one day because the writing on the shirt was faded (the school name was plastered on there)."
jmizzle2022
But it's true...
"In high school, I did a presentation about the bubonic plague. In the end, I mentioned it has not been totally eradicated, and there are still occasional cases in the US."
"This was followed by laughter from everyone including my teacher. But like, it really still exists and has not been eradicated."
Nielas_Aran_76
"Same thing happened to me when a kid gave a presentation on different types of energy sources. I asked if they looked up anything about nuclear power plants because I was genuinely curious about those. I never really hear much about them. The kid gave me a weird look and said those donât exist anymore and the teacher and the kid both smirked like I was stupid but nuclear power plantâs definitely still exist and are in operation all over the world."
Alliserious
School Days
"I got laughed at the first day I wore glasses to school (4th grade). Being a pretty sensitive boy, after that I would take them off after I left the house for school, and never wore them at school again. I managed to convince my parents to let me get contact lenses when I was in 7th grade."
"I got braces in 6th grade, and once, when caught goofing around, my teacher threatened to paddle me 'so hard the metal would fly out of my mouth.' I told my parents about that, and I think my mom called the principal. But this was in 1971 or â72, so nothing became of it."
trobinson999
Lunch Hour
"I was just thinking about this the other day when I was making my kid lunch: back when I was little my mom would cut my sandwiches in half and some kids made fun of me for it. They said I was poor and the reason my mom cut my sandwich in half was so I could take half home for dinner. S**t doesn't even make sense but kids are effing stupid and will make fun of each other for anything."
PunchBeard
WTF?!
twinning pauly d GIFGiphy"When I was in high school, apparently being a twin was 'gay'. To the point, that a dude fought me over it."
cosmoboy
Why would a person make fun of a twin?
Some people have no life whatsoever.
A deleted Redditor wanted to hear about the ways straight men couldn't take a hint, so they asked:
"Lesbians of Reddit, whatâs the most ridiculous thing a straight guy told you to talk you into having sex with them?"
How Patriotic
"I had a guy try to entice me with his weed. He literally pulled out the American flag bong with the grinder that looked like ammunition. Honestly left me kinda speechless."
xSwishyy
A Transplant
"Didn't go as far as sex but was definitely the most ridiculous thing a straight guy has said to me so far. I was trying to check out at the store when the 60-something y/o cashier started flirting with me, asking if I had a boyfriend, etc. When he asked why I didn't I told him I'm a lesbian and he said 'I actually have a female kidney from my transplant a couple years ago so we wouldn't have a problem together.'"
BestiesWithBaphomet
Me Too!
"The opposite - a very drunk man approached me on a station platform and asked me out. I awkwardly replied, 'Sorry, Iâm gay.' He said, 'You like women??' and I nodded, bracing for homophobia⌠but instead he just excitedly exclaimed 'ME TOO!!!' and shook my hand. Then he left me alone. It was an extremely funny and non-threatening interaction and I think fondly of him from time to time."
orangepigeon
Let's Dance
"My brother was absolutely refusing to take no for an answer when asking [my friend] to prom. I think my brother asked my friend to prom like 5 times before they just started ignoring him. I also told off my brother cause my friend is open about being a lesbian and told him that they were a lesbian. Something about not having a lesbian somehow makes guys angry because they can't take no for an answer."
pumpkinthighs
Can men really be this off?
Oh the Drama
Feeling It Drama Club GIF by NickelodeonGiphy"He said that I had no idea what it's like to be the single straight guy who tries to find (sex) love. And it's cruel for me to not give him even a chance to be romantic with me. And I don't have a good reason to say no because he is good-looking and earns more money than I do lol."
Original-Pineapple18
DIBS
"This guy was one of my closer friends at the time, and SOLIDLY friend-zoned. Weâd established countless times over the last year that we werenât into each other, I was lesbian, and that even if I werenât he wouldnât go for me, yada yada. Weâd talked about things that I would NOT have discussed if I knew he would ever be into me."
"Well lo and behold, one day I realize Iâm questioning whether Iâm bisexual or not due to a mutual friend. I bring it up to him in a state of real vulnerability, cuz I thought Iâd had everything figured out before this, but wanted my friendâs input on if it was a good idea to bring it up to hot-dude directly."
"This grown-a** man told me HE HAD DIBS. D I B S."
Kazooasaurus
Preferences
"Not a lesbian, but Iâm bi with a pretty strong preference for women. Probably THE most common response from guys when I say Iâm not interested in 'Really? I dunno, you donât look like you date girls.' I never know how to respond. Do they expect me to suddenly realize Iâm NOT into women? Do they think questioning my preferences is endearing or sexy??"
âIndividual_Ad_7523
So Sexy
Ryan Reynolds GIF by CBCGiphy"Always the standard idea of they think their penis is magical and can 'turn' me. Uh, no. Also, have had more than a few guys say 'You're too attractive' to be a lesbian. They actually think it's a compliment. Oof."
Goody2Shuuz
Listen to someone's boundaries when they tell you, gentleman!
It's really that simple.
Does anyone have any similar stories? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor grayspot94 wanted to hear cringe stories about the ways to NOT try and seduce someone, so they asked:
"What's the worst way someone tried to flirt with you/turn you on?"
The amount of stories I could tell y'all from my NYC club days.
We don't have the time.
A What?
Best Friends GIFGiphy"One time at a house party a girl whispered in my ear 'Have you ever licked a caterpillar?' Then tried to get me to come home with her. I never figured out what that innuendo was supposed to mean đ ."
Much-Audience-5800
Oh Nuts
"Kissed me out of the blue. Not a bad thing in and of itself, I was into her, she was into me, and she knew how shy I was so she made the first move. The issue was that shortly before she kissed me, she had eaten a Snickers bar. I'm allergic to peanuts."
Local64bithero
"His lips, tongue, and whatever else she lobbered on quickly turned an ugly mottled red and swelled up until he couldn't talk, which means he couldn't even tell her what was wrong, as he desperately sought medical attention. Oh, sweet memories of young love."
StrawberryGasoline
It's YOU!
"I (M) went out to dinner with a group of friends. One girl said to the whole table "I'm waiting for the man I love to realize that the love of his life is sitting directly in front of him. She was sitting directly in front of me."
"Yes, everyone at the table realized what she meant and got very uncomfortable with her. Myself included."
"Backstory: She directly asked me out a few weeks earlier but I told her that I don't like her that way. Nevertheless, she persisted (and got rejected again)."
EponymousTitular
A Bad Setting
Taye Diggs Wow GIF by BounceGiphy"I had a woman hit on me at an STD testing clinic. I definitely respect the game, but I was there to get tested because I had just gone exclusive with someone and wanted to get checked up before we stopped using condoms."
Turdsworth
"Imagine the pick-up line for meeting someone at an STD clinic: 'Do you come here often?'"
Lvcivs2311
Read the room people.
Not just the people in it... the ACTUAL room!
Swing or Duck
Ronda Rousey Fighting GIF by WWEGiphy"Hosted a party in college with some friends, a girl that was trying to talk to me wanted to prove how strong she was and how good she was at boxing."
"Threw a mean haymaker right across my jaw. I randomly met up with her two years later at another random party. She introduced me to her friends as 'the cute guy I punched in the face.'"
"Just to clarify, it wasnât a malicious act. She asked if she could show how strong she was by punching me and I said 'yes' not paying attention to what she was asking."
EBeast99
Weeks Gone By
"Borrowed my iPod and returned it. I put it in my desk drawer and forgot about it. She got real cold and distant and I just let it go. About 6 weeks later I saw the iPod in the drawer, charged it up, turned it on, and found she had left nude photos of herself."
Appropriate-Battle32
"I feel like people aren't appreciating how labor-intensive that was. She had to take the picture with a separate device. Upload them to a computer. download iTunes, and update java. Upload those pictures to the iPod."
Mnstrzero00
Don't Knock on My Door...
"My neighbor recently knocked on my door at around 10 pm to drunkenly tell me I was the pinnacle of masculinity because I leave for work at 7 30 every morning. Said she woke up to the sounds of me leaving and she is 'kind of in love with [me].'"
"Then she asked if she could kiss me, I said no, and she went ahead and tried anyway. Then she got all upset when I pulled back from her. There were tears."
"Spent the whole conversation, trying to figure out how to remove a person from my doorway."
"Context - I only speak to this woman roughly once a year when she appears at my door drunk, though usually she just asks my name for half an hour. Or asks if I am gay."
Ahrtimmer
But Who Hates Tapas?
Sassy Finger GIF by ProfeBGiphy"As I yawned with my eyes closed, as one does, he placed his index finger inside my mouth. At a dinner party, with several other people at the table."
Even_Accident9224
Oh my word.
Who raised these people?
Even wolves have better romantic etiquette.
"What is the most brutal insult you have ever received/given?"
Coming Through An Avatar Almost Makes It worse...
"This guy killed me on Rust and told me to put my kid to bed."
"He could hear her in the background, it was like 11 on a school night."
"He ganked me and then critiqued my parenting."- Intelligent-Bird6825
Nothing Hurts More Than The Truth...
"Mine was subtle."
"I went to the doctor because of my leg problem, he weighed me and said my BMI is too high and that I'm classed as slightly obese."
"I said [hmm isn't BMI supposed to be inaccurate because it doesn't account for muscle mass?'"
"Sorta tongue in cheek."
"Doctor looked at me and calmly said 'not in this case'."
"That hurt man, that hurt."- Flynnrah
Some Of The Greatest Music Was The Product Of Improvisation
"Musician here."
"After f*cking up a solo, the other guy said 'that was an interesting choice'."- Plus_Valuable4382
Zayn Malik GIFGiphyHe Opened That Door...
"My 15 year old niece lives with me and my wife, because her dad doesnât have a job or a house."
"She got her first job and he starts telling her sheâs too young to have a job."
"He says 'Youâre too young to have a job'.â
"And she replied with 'Youâre too old to not have one'.â
"I should probably clarify."
"Sheâs not a little smart mouthed teenager."
"Sheâs usually very respectful."
"Itâs not like he lost his job a week ago and has been looking."
"In the 6 years Iâve known him he has worked one week, and before that nothing much different."
"He deserved what he got, and she deserves much more than what he has given her, and I hoped it would make him reevaluate his choices but so far no change."- Thomas-Garret
Practically A Compliment
"I got into a road rage argument with a guy and he called me 'A Mumford and Son lookin' bastard!'
"I must point out that I was neither wearing a waistcoat or playing a banjo at the time."
"I did have a beard though."- Amity75
mumford sons GIFGiphyWonder Where He Got That Attitude...
"Co-worker's kid was hanging around the job eating cookies."
"His dad tells him to offer cookies to others, points at me and says 'he likes cookies too'."
"The kid looks at his dad, then at me, and back at his dad and says 'he looks like he likes cookies'."
"I was devastated."- aLongHofer
Ironically, The Many Will Read This And Think "Meow"...
"I was talking to my mother-in-law when my wife's sister came in and exclaimed that my wife had just barked at her."
"Without thinking I said 'maybe she was just talking to you in a language you'd understand', luckily my mother-in-law burst out laughing."- kij101
When You Bring Parents Into The Mix...
"Some kid was picking on me throughout High School and one day he talked sh*t about me being adopted."
"Idk what came over me but my response was, 'a couple of very nice people paid money to raise me and your parents are probably regretting having you for free'.â- blazedout-cubscout
"I Know You Are, But What Am I?"
"I'm ugly."
"This made going to school pretty terrible."
"My one shining moment in all of those terrible years was when one of my bullies, who happened to be overweight, was harassing me at lunch."
"'You're not even a real girl'."
"'You're just a guy with t*ts', he said."
"'So are you', I replied."
"The silence before his posse broke down in uproarious laughter was so heavy, lmao."
"He never talked to me again."
"I just wanted to eat alone in peace and was just sick of rolling over."
"Even then, I'm so socially awkward I still don't know how I came up with my reply without missing a beat, but I've been riding that high ever since, 20 years later lol."
"I'll never be as cool as I was in that moment."- SuspiciousBowlOfSoup
Hit Them Where It Really Hurts
"True story."
"Since childhood I have been a massive fan of Eddie Van Halen."
"Beyond normal Fandom."
"I had told my girlfriend at the time that I could die a happy human if I had one of his used guitar picks."
"It became a joke for us over time."
"FF a couple of years."
"Bad break up."
"At the same VH show and some how she is in the 2nd row while I was in the 300 level."
"Run into her just outside the venue with all of my friends and she with all of hers."
"She looks at me and smiles as she takes one of Eddie's picks out of her pocket to hand it to me and with a disgusted look says 'here... Now you can die', and goes to hand me the pick."
"Stops midway and says "wait... I'd rather you live knowing I have it. And I don't give a sh*t about it'."
"I stood like a moron for minutes."
"Worst burn/insult I have ever received. 30 years later, and my friends still laugh at me over it."- ThaddeusWerner
Van Halen GIFGiphyPride Is A Sin...
"My mom never treated my kids very well."
"Not *bad*, but she wasn't really very loving towards them."
"Mom and I were talking about my oldest, who was ~18 at the time, and had been dating the same guy for a few years."
"Mom says, 'So what's going on with <daughter> and <boyfriend>? Are they going to get married?'"
"I say, 'I don't know. I mean, it's possible."
"Mom says, 'I just don't know that I'm ready to be a Great Grandmother'."
"'Well, you could always try being a good one, first'."- gogozrx
As much as we'd like to commend these people for their cleverness, tearing people down still isn't a very nice thing to do, no matter the circumstance.
Leaving one to wonder if they would be equally good at creating clever and thoughtful compliments...
Or if they would linger in memory as long as the insults do...