"What is your worst roommate stories?"
"Roger, That..."
"In my last two years of school, I rented a house split between 5 guys, one of whom was a last-minute addition that I begged them not to let live with us."
"I even offered to pay the rent on his room while I looked for a new one."
"But I got outvoted, and so we had this guy, who I'll call Roger because he looked like Roger from American Dad."
"Roger did not seem physically able to walk without stamping his feet. Multiple guests commented on how f*cking loud he was."
"Oh, and he wore his winter boots inside."
"Roger said our wifi was too slow, he wanted to play Xbox live while watching Netflix."
"So he ran an ethernet cable from our kitchen, through the front hall and up the stairs into his bedroom."
"He didn't tape it down nearly either, it hung low in several spots giving our house the appearance of a spaceship in disrepair."
"He loudly proclaimed how brilliant he was an how much faster the internet was now, not realizing someone had already cut the ethernet cable."
"Roger frequently fell asleep with loud music or tv playing on his tower speakers, and would not turn if off unless his favorite roommate asked him to."
"Yes, he would tell the other three of us to f*ck off and then act all apologetic if Juan would tell him to be quiet."
"One night it came to a head."
"He fell asleep during exams with some loud music playing and it woke the whole house up."
"All of us (his mancrush Juan included) knocked on his door for almost an hour trying to get him to turn it down."
"When he wouldn't answer, we decided to jimmy his lock and turn it down ourselves."
'He was fast asleep with noise cancelling headphones on."
"All this time he was falling asleep to music and tv, it was just to antagonize us."- eatmereddit
gamer GIF by TotorialGiphyHere's Hoping He Got The Help He Needed
"Right after college, I lived in a house that rented out rooms on an individual basis."
"Most people were completely fine but you'd get the occasional sh*t roommate."
"Then there was Doug."
"Doug was about our age, unemployed, and an alcoholic who would drink himself to blackout almost every day."
"He was also a total slob and would make huge messes in the kitchen before going back to his room to drink some more and blast loud music."
"The next day, he wouldn't remember anything, see the big mess in the kitchen, and whine about 'people being gross'."
"Of course when any of us pointed out that it was his mess, he'd always say he didn't remember doing it and that it couldn't be his mess."
"Yeah Doug, I can't imagine why you don't remember."
"I'm sure the handle of vodka you drank last night had nothing to do with that."
"He was eventually kicked out because his parents refused to pay his rent anymore."
"I genuinely hope he got some help because the amount he drank every day would kill an elephant."- apocalypticradish
Keep Your Dirty Laundry To Yourself...
"My first college roommate never did laundry."
"For dates, he'd 'borrow' my clean underwear (even though I clearly told him to leave my junk alone) and return them dirty (unwashed) afterwards."- Back2Bach
Clothes Mess GIF by Big Brother AustraliaGiphyA Thief And A Liar!
"Senior year of boarding school my roommate stole my prescription Adderall, Oxys from getting my wisdom teeth out, and alcohol I had hidden in a chest under my bed while I was away for the weekend."
"She ended up overdosing and then told the school I gave it all to her."
"I got suspended, lost my scholarship for the remainder of the semester, and almost had my college acceptances rescinded."- Additional-Force-795
Bad Decisions Have A Way Of Catching Up To You...
"Freshman year of college I had a roommate who would get high with her bf and come back to our dorm room and bone while I was also in the dorm room."
"She also listened to Basshunter non stop, and had up close pictures of her own eyeballs all over the room."- futhisplace
Latter Day Pervert...
"Horny Mormon."
"He'd be up until 3 AM perving on women on Facebook going 'she's go hot, oh my gosh' and sweating, and he'd stand too close to girls and try and grab their shoulders and sh*t."
"Genuinely concerned he was going to assault someone someday."
"I brought my girlfriend over there one time, and he'd keep hitting on her and trying to take selfies with her, and he stole her phone and installed the Mormon scriptures app onto it."
"Also, he had some kind of foot fungus and smelled like f*cking sh*t."- AdamBombKelley
south park hello GIF by The Book of Mormon (Musical)GiphyGot What He Deserved
"In college I rented a room in a house from a slumlord, roommates were addicts (and twin brothers) who would constantly steal my food."
"I baked a batch of brownies with a whole pack of ex-lax in em, figuring they'd take one or two, get the squirts, and I'd tell them not to f*ck with my shit anymore."
"One ate the WHOLE PAN."
"Overnight, I heard puking, followed by dry heaving."
"It went on for a while."
"He told me the next day he had food poisoning, and everything came out another end."
"I never told him."- bigleafychode
Worse Than A Lifetime Movie...
"Moved into a house with my three friends."
"One was my best friend, and he was cool."
"The other was his girlfriend and our mutual friend, who was also another girl."
"We were the luckiest people alive because we were renting a 3 bedroom house for 500 a month."
"My buddy grew up poor, and I was homeless for a year."
"We both knew how lucky we were."
"We fought hard for everything we had, but the two girls we lived with were spoiled."
"They f*cked everything up for us."
"They would do everything from invite strangers over to party without asking us on work nights to skipping the rent."
"They would steal our food and never go grocery shopping."
"They would turn the AC down to 63° in the middle of 100° heatwaves, causing our utility bill to be higher than our rent."
"They'd break sh*t in the house and start arguments with each other."
"The one girl even brought in two friends to live in her bedroom with her for six months without even asking us."
"I worked a seriously demanding job at the time."
"I woke up at 4am every morning and got to work by 5am."
"I wouldn't be home until anywhere from 8pm to 1am most nights."
"It was incredibly stressful."
"This was very difficult when the girls kept inviting anywhere from ten to thirty people to party at our house EVERY f*cking night."
"I even came home at 1am once to find a stranger passed out in my bed covered in vomit."
"They also played music so loud every night that it would shake my bedroom wall."
"The girls didn't give a f*ck because they just called out constantly and eventually quit their jobs."
"Did I also mention that half these strangers were teenagers who were illegally drinking at our house and then driving home?"
"One night, my friends girlfriend got drunk and started stabbing the bedroom door with a knife."
"This isn't even our property!"
"My buddy went to stop her, and she stabbed him three times."
"I had to go pin her against the wall and have some random stranger come grab the knife from her friend."
"It was f*cking insane.'
"I had to beg the landlord not to kick us out and replaced the door."
"One time, somebody in the house ripped the shower head off in the shower during one of their parties."
"The threads were ruined, and I had to replace the entire pipe."
"They also raided our fridge and went through my month's worth of food I had just bought in a single night."
"This was a reoccurring event."
"I eventually bought a mini fridge and a lock for my door."
"That worked for a while until someone drunkenly fell through my door in the middle of the night while I was sleeping."
"One of the girls friends f*cking hated me because I'd always come out and kick people out."
"See, my roommate was a small girl who would tell me she'd stop doing this sh*t, but then do it the next day anyways."
"She ended up befriending this huge girl who would sh*t talk me constantly in my own house for her."
"They would constantly disrespect me in front of people and tell them to keep partying."
"She didn't even f*cking live there."
"She just came over to talk sh*t, get drunk.
"One time, they had so many people in the house that a floor joist broke."
"My buddy and I had to fix it to keep us all from getting kicked out."
"It cost us a ton of money and an entire weekend that I should have spent relaxing."
"It's just another thing to add to the list I had to fix there."
"I fixed lights and windows that were shattered, punched drywall, toilets, holes in the yard from cars parking in the yard, outlets that were ripped out, paint that was scratched or drawn on, our mailbox after being hit by a drunken teen, counter tops that had been burned by thousands of cigarettes, busted water pipes from idiots crawling under the sink."
"I could go on all day."
"I spent thousands on this house to avoid losing the only place I could afford to rent."
"One day I came home from work to a complete nightmare."
"They broke half the drywall in the living room."
"Somebody had scratched up the hard wood floor so bad that half of it would need to be replaced."
"The curtain rods on two of the windows had been ripped off the wall."
"The kitchen sink had been pulled off the wall and had leaked into the floor all night."
"Our refrigerator had been turned over entirely."
"This was when the table I bought was snapped in two."
"There was vomit all over the house."
"People were passed out on the ground everywhere."
"My bookshelf had been knocked over, and half of them were burnt in the yard from what I heard my buddy tell me."
"I just quit that day."
"I recorded it all, met up with the landlord, and showed them the video later that day."
"She was understandably furious."
"I admitted to her that I had been repairing things for about a year now to hide it from her."
"She wasn't even angry at me, surprisingly."
"She was just happy one of her tenants was being honest."
"I sent her all the video evidence and told her that the people were all still there when I left, just passed out on the floor."
"I told her I had found another living arrangement and had to leave."
"She thanked me, and I left."
"I had packed all my stuff that night and left without saying a word."
"About the time I got done talking to the landlord, my roommate was messaging me how she needed help cleaning and fixing the house."
"I just ignored her and took all my stuff to my girlfriend's house."
"She later messaged me, saying the cops were there."
"She had an entire court case about it and was evicted."
"She had to pay the last month's rent and utilities alone, as well as all the damages."
"I haven't talked to her since then."
"Ash, if you're reading this, f**k you, b*tch!"- ModsGayandMad
Heidi Klum Wow GIF by LifetimeGiphyYou Can't Make This Sh*t Up...
"Was in college living in a suite style apartment."
"4 bedrooms with private bath, shared living and shared kitchen."
"My friend rented a room, I had a room and we got two randos assigned to us."
"After a few months our places started to increasingly smell worse and we couldn't figure out what was going on."
"We deep cleaned, bleached everything, but could not find the source."
"Only thing we didn't do was go through the 2 randos' rooms."
"One day one of the random's went home for the weekend."
"My buddy and I broke into his room and discovered the source."
"This dude was sh*tting in plastic bin and keeping it under his bed."
"After a big WTF moment we disposed of it and confronted him."
"He of course denied it all and claimed he never did such a thing."
"After several days the smell went away and never came back."
"Poopbucket is now a cop."- popsicle425
Violet Reaction GIF by Murdoch MysteriesGiphyRoommates are something of a right of passage that everyone has to deal with at one point or another.
Sometimes resulting in lasting friendships.
Other times forming mortal enemies...
Pets can be wonderful companions. Many studies show the physical and psychological benefits of pet ownership.
But...
If you think about some of the things our pets routinely do, in the context of their role as someone sharing our living space, pets can be kind of jerks.
Reddit user LakotaGrl challenged people to consider just that conundrum when they asked:
"Referring to your pet as only 'My roommate', what's something your roommate does?"
Here are the hilarious results.
Bedtime yoga.
My roommate likes to sleep with only his butt on the bed, the rest of his body on the floor. He also likes it when you slap his butt repeatedly.
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Too close for comfort.
I once woke up to my roommate slipping and falling off the head of my bed and landing on my face. The first thing I saw that day was his butthole. Close up.
This is how you get pink eye.
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Can't hold his licker.
If I bend over (to pick up something off the floor or whatever) and my trousers get slightly pulled down, my roommate will try to lick my butt. I have to tell him to stop it multiple times before he listens.
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Feline recreation
My roommate attacks a stuffed toy filled with drugs, then runs around and attacks table legs. After he tires himself out, he licks his butthole and falls asleep in a cardboard box.
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College roommate?
One time I was really impressed with my roommate because they managed to open the fridge all on their own.
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Not so sneaky.
My roommate crawls into bed with me and my girlfriend at night thinking we won't notice.
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Roomba of Doom!
My roommate is getting rather chubby because my husband has been traveling and she hasn't kept up the strict exercise program of running 20+ miles a week while he's gone. Instead, she's been stealing our kids' sandwiches and sleeping on his side of the bed.
Our roommate is scared of Roomba and tries to bite it. I have to be vigilant to make sure our roommate doesn't poop on the floor before Roomba runs.
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Cock-a-doodle-who?
My roommate screams when the sun rises in the morning. He has also pooped on me before and hisses at vegetables.
My friend has a roommate like that. Has anger issues. Low key, but I think he's a pimp. He surrounds himself with multiple women and will fight you if you look at the girls.
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Just making sure he didn't miss anything good.
My roommate sniffs my mouth whenever he returns to the room just to check if I ate anything during his absence.
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Porch Surfing
We found one of our roommates on our porch one day, he yelled at us until we fed him and he's been camping on our porch ever since. Sometimes he comes in the garage when it's really cold. We wanna bring him in, but the other two roommates don't want him in the house, so he stays on the porch.
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Nobody wants to go in the cold.
My roommate wouldn't just go poo in the snow, instead she waited until it hit critical mass and went behind the curtains
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Keeping an eye on you.
When I walk the dog, my roommate stalks us through the neighborhood, hiding behind trees and cars, then running ahead and jumping out at us.
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Sometimes you need tough love...
Neither of my roommates will voluntarily bathe. When they really start to stink, I have to physically wrestle them into the bathtub. Both of my roommates will try to escape so it's pretty tricky.
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...or a good bribe.
To convince my roommate baths are a good idea, I smear a small part of the tub with peanut butter and he licks it off while being bathed.
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High Maintenance Relationship
My roommates were homeless when we met. I offer to let them live with me, but now they expect me to clean up after them and feed them. They're always complaining about the food I buy. All they do is lay around all day. They aren't even paying any rent!
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Practicing for the hotdog eating contest
Once I stepped outside to check the mail, and in the minute or two it took me to leave and come back, my roommate had eaten an entire pack of hot dog buns.
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A sudden wind.
My roommate wakes herself up with farts then acts super surprised
My roommate is just scared of her farts and stares at/sniffs her own butt every time it happens
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That led to one heck of a hangover.
A former roommate of mine was wild as hell, he was his own man. One morning he left our house hastily, didn't mention where he was off to.
A few hours later he gets picked up from the drunk tank no worse for wear—we brought him home and put him to bed to sleep it off. Not more than an hour later he was vomiting chunks of dead bird and some sort of mammalian road kill.
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Number one method of communication.
My roommate pees on my bed when he is mad at me.
One of my roommates has done this twice recently since he has been started on a diet. He wanted to show his feelings about the situation.
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Inappropriate decorum.
My roommate thinks it's cute to run around the house showing guests my underwear
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So what does your furry, finned, feathered or scaly roommate do?
Let us know in the comments.