Redditor gravemind9 asked:
"What's something you did as a teenager that you look back on and think holy f**k was f**king stupid?"
The stories of my youth could make you faint.
So I'll just listen to yours.
Updates
"Post constant, nonsensical updates to my Facebook wall."
MacSween3382
"There's nobody I have less in common with than the teenage me writing facebook statuses 15 years ago."
professor_dogPotomac never freezes...
"Walking from Virginia to Maryland over the frozen Potomac River on my Sophomore year in high school. I got about half way out and laid down in the ice so that I could see along the bottom of the river. It wasn't until several years later that I heard on the news that the Potomac never freezes over enough for people to walk on it."
Ural_2004
Go Away
"I thought that, if I acted angsty and pushed people away from me, it'd make people want to know more about me and why I was so distant."
"For any current teenagers who didn't already know, this doesn't work. People will just let you be alone, and go find someone who's more friendly to them being around."
CrazyPlato
"One of the greatest examples of 'Real life is soooo different from Movies.'"
ALEISMYNAME
Puff. Puff.
"Smoking. I started smoking at 13. I’m 40 now and can’t stop smoking for anything. If I could go back and do things differently, I would never pick up a cigarette."
ImaginationSad2803
"I started about the same age. I'm sure I quit smoking 100 times before I really made it stick. Most were a day or 3, I got 9 months one time. Eventually I realized that having a cigarette or 5 was no reason to quit quitting, and to just try to make it longer next time, it's fine, just do it again. It's been 8 years now, I finally stopped in my mid 30s."
lurker71539
WHAT?!
"At the age of 15/16ish I travelled to England by myself to meet an internet stranger/lover."
sharkyandro
Shocked Oh No GIF by Yêu LuGiphyKids world traveling? Well that is new.
Skin
"Deciding to not wear sunscreen."
Not_Logan_Paul_
"I wish I'd listened to my mum and worn sun hats when I was younger. I can see the ageing it had caused on my forehead and now I'm in my 40s I wish I'd taken better care of my skin."
lkm81
The Beach Summer GIF by Kel CripeGiphyShoplifted
"I shoplifted a lot, like way too much, i didnt even need the stuff, i just did it."
everythingiwantedwas
"I have a family member that did it… it was as you described. He said it just gave him a high. He eventually ran out of stuff he felt like nabbing and started stealing for people I.e I’ll gank this $17.99 CD for you for $10 etc."
three-sense
The High
"I hung out with a bunch of burnouts who actually were quite tame. Their big thing was climbing on top of buildings. Not breaking in, not property damage, just how can we get to the top of various structures. We were on top of the Junior High which must have set off some silent alarms as cops come roaring up."
"We split up and all managed to get down without one of us getting caught. It would have been tough to explain what we were doing to both the police and then our parents as it was really just dumb."
ekimlive
Speed
"Driving 60+ mph with no headlights at 3am on back roads."
BlankMyName
"I grew up in a county town, and I would sometimes go 120+. Very stupid."
Elmoslightpole
Driving 101 Dalmatians GIFGiphyWow.
Youth is really wasted on the young.
For Harry....
GiphySkipping days of work during a conference, to go to Disney World and Universal. No way in heck was I getting a free pass to Florida and not going to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter.
It was worth every second. SnyperPrincess
20/20!!
A few days ago I had the opportunity to get Lasik. I just had to call out of work. This upset my boss but forget it 4 days later and I'm already 20/20!!! rachel226
Keep up with the eyedrops if you want it to stay that way. mllestrong
Thanks for the advice! I'm trying to around work and so far so good. Is it helpful to do them after the first week? I'm gonna ask my doctor on Monday when I see them. rachel226
And I slept for 2 days....
Hitting "send" on an email I wrote my husband's mistress. thenletskeepdancing
I slept so much better when my ex husband's mistress's fiancé called and told me that he caught them. I knew, I knew it in my soul, but I didn't have any proof and it was making me feel like a crazy person, and he kept telling me I was crazy, but I just couldn't put my finger on why, I just knew it and couldn't prove it, so it was just eating me on the inside.
Once I knew, I knew I wasn't this crazy paranoid jealous crazy person. He still wouldn't admit it, but I didn't need that any more. And I slept for 2 days. Pm_me_baby_pig_pics
I have a Problem....
Called my wife and told her I had a drinking problem.
Hard damn phone call to make I tell you what.
Of course she already knew, most did, but getting it out there verbally was hard. Real hard.
I'd also like to thank Topo Chico bubbly water for satisfying my "need to drink cold bubbly drinks" and "need to be holding a beverage" urges.
Sober and hydrated, 1.5 years. campoanywhere
Stand Up.
GiphyMy friend was being picked on by the bully last week, and I went in. He's fine, I have the black eye. BSH_DeadSkull
Best decision I ever made.
Was going through some domestic violence BS and wasn't allowed to leave the home for months at a time. They tried to choke me to death, yelled at me a lot, etc. I can't remember all of it. My grandmother had died and I'm pretty sure it was the intent to kill me and get my part of the inheritance. The inheritance money finally came in after about six months of this treatment, and while the other person took his half and went on vacation, I took my half and bought a Greyhound ticket and got out of there. Best decision I ever made. TheEggRollCommandsIt
9 minutes away.....
I was a flight nurse at a company who liked firing people. We were transporting a patient from a car accident who became pulseless. Per policy we were meant to go to the closest hospital. Our closest hospital was 9 minutes away, however this hospital was tiny and couldn't care for our patient. 13 minutes away was a trauma hospital. Our patient was dead and statistically speaking was going to stay that way - but his only hope was the trauma hospital. I told the pilot to go the trauma hospital knowing full well this would be reviewed and I would be fired for violating policy. Fortunately the trauma hospital did a fabulous job and he survived - I was reviewed but not fired.
Update/Further Details - I did not expect so much interest. The policy is closest appropriate facility when the patient had a pulse (i.e. trauma, neurosurg burns, pets, etc). But when you lost the pulse the belief was any ED is better than a medic and a nurse in the back of the helicopter. I tend to agree with the philosophy behind the policy, doing 2 man CPR in the back of helicopter is very difficult and tiring, and we didn't have blood, lab work, etc. I also imagine most areas don't have two vastly different levels of care with just a few minutes difference.
The belief is land, go to the ED have more man power and more tools, if you get ROSC, get back in the helicopter and keep going (the patient would likely have two bills - but that is another story). Our belief was the patient was hypovolemic and needed a cortis and a mass transfusion - getting emergency release of blood at small hospitals never happens quickly, so the argument would have been we made our decision on time to blood, versus time to hospital. We probably would have still been fired, but it was our best chance. TheNurseConsultant
The Following....Â
Followed a girl to another country.
Now married 15+ years. hwarang_
Followed my now-husband to Canada ~10 years ago after less than a year together. Zero regrets. From the outside it sounded fucking dumb, but we knew it was an all or nothing moment and we both wanted all. ExceptForThatDuck
The Call Back.Â
Asking my now wife if I could call her back the next night after she called looking for a roommate who had moved out. We had talked for a couple of hours that night. She said yes, I called her back the next night. We've been together now 17 years, and got married two months ago. FloydDangerBarber
Getting Away...
GiphyBought a sailboat. Quit a decent paying job that I hated. Sail from New York to the Caribbean where I hung out for a year then sold the boat back in Florida and then spent the next five months hiking the Appalachian trail. Went back to work for a year and now I'm currently backpacking through South East Asia for the next 6 months. bigmommashome
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Nothing good happens in a bog.
GiphyAs a kid me and some friends built a 'bridge' out of hay and wood across a dried out bog. I tested it and fell through somewhere in the middle. Thankfully I'd read in a book that if you're being sucked down by quicksand or something, the best thing to do is relax and spread your weight out evenly. That kept my head and arms above the muck until one of my friends could find a tree branch to haul me out.
Every time someone posts one of those 'quicksand wasn't as big an issue as I thought it would be' memes I'm like... hm.
Darwin Award contender. The coma sounds nice though.
Sitting on the trunk of a car. "Just drive slow and I'll hop off at my house."
They did not drive slowly. I got to be in a coma though, so that was nice.
That'll get you at least 3 stars in GTA.
Driving through a military base closed to the public in hopes of arriving at my destination faster.
Beware the large load.
Near the end of a 68 hour week, I was dead tired and just wanted to go home. I had three tons suspended in the air by a shop crane and I left the remote on the other side of the load. Instead of walking around it, I walked right under it and grabbed the remote. I froze for a moment and contemplated what I just did. Put the load down, clocked off and went to sleep thinking about how much of an idiot I am.
She lived to tell the tale.
GiphyI hitchhiked across a province, and at nightfall after getting soaked during a downfall (people tend not to pick you up during the rain), I was exhausted and so defeated, and so I accepted a complete strangers offer to go to his cabin in the woods for the night.
Music festivals draw the best people.
Stayed with a stranger whom I just met after a concert when I had no where to stay that night. Wasn't sexual, he didn't try anything or insinuate that I owed him anything - just a nice bloke offering the spare bed in his hotel room.
Karma - and a brave move, considering the times.
Went with some friends to a party. We drove there, and unfortunately everyone (including myself) got plastered. The party was in a bad neighborhood in the Bronx and I insisted that we chip in for a cab because driving drunk would be stupid.
I was called a pussy, and idiot, moron, then told if I don't like it I can walk home. F*ck that I know my life is worth it so I just headed off towards the Grand Concourse (this was back in the 80's, bad times then).
Walked about 15 blocks avoiding groups of people (especially the ones shouting at me), got tailed for a bit by a group of older guys and made a mad dash for the subway. It was 1 am, the station was empty and it took me 2 hours to get home.
Next day I get a call from one of my friends parents, they were upset with me for letting them drive home (they got into a fender bender with a cop car (yea karma)).
I laughed when she told me what happened, then explained that I was the one that was put down and told to walk home if I didn't like it, they wouldn't take a cab. She apologized and I made sure that every one of those asshats weren't part of my life anymore.
Drinking then driving is never worth it.
GiphyI drove home with a drunk friend who was taking shots before we left the bar. I was 21 and stupid. On the way home instead of taking the turn we went into a ditch and stopped 2 feet short of a telephone pole. We were fine but it definitely was a wake up call.
Raise your hand if you're feeling attacked.
Picked up a cap of what I presumed was molly at a party off the floor and popped it.
Good party. Decent high. Can't believe how stupid I was.
Concrete Ocean
When I was in high school some guys were "car surfing" in the parking lot and one almost died. The two cars collided, which sent him flying off the roof. His top half went through the windshield while his bottom half was nearly smashed between the cars.
Needless to say, they both got in enormous amounts of trouble.
Lifelong Symptoms
GiphyFlew off, head first into the curb. Induced coma for about two weeks. When I woke up, I was insane. They hand cuffed me to the bed because I kept trying to run away. Seeing as I was completely paralyzed on one side, that wasn't safe. Month in the rehab hospital once I was medically out of the woods. Learning to walk, talk again. How to use my fingers.
This was at age 15.
Vision problems for a few months after that. Nothing had the "outline" around it, if that makes any sense. Things just kind of bled into each other.
Couldn't remember words. Developed a weird tick where I would tap my fingers together when talking, as if trying to grab the word. Still happens sometimes.
Persistent bouts of "cloudy head." I can't describe them. They're just "bad head days." Still struggle with impulse control and temper.
The seizures started four years later. Lots of different meds and a couple wrecked cars later, we found something that worked. The wrecks weren't seizure related, but the lack of sleep probably was.
The migraines just started this February, at age 37. Debilitating dizziness and sound sensitivity. Can't think. Can't sleep. Neurologist thought they were seizures but later decided on migraines. New meds and a chiropractor are helping, but some days are still hella rough.
But all the docs thought I wouldn't live and if I did I would be requiring 24/7 care, so I still got pretty lucky.
ATM OMG
I am a rugby player and was a bank teller in 2009. I'll never forget the date: 09/10/2009.
A group of 5-6 burglars stole $47K from an ATM I was doing some maintenance. When they ran out of the branch, everyone of them but one went to the right; the dipshit who went left was carrying the money bag, and my rugby instincts instinctly kicked in: I ran after him for half a block and tackled him from behind.
The look of despair in his eyes when he saw a crazy teller it's one of the memories I'll never forget. We tried to punch each other, with no success. When he realized I wasn't letting him go away with the cash, he threw the bag in the middle of the avenue and ran away.
The whole action lasted about 60 seconds, I believe. Afterwards, I couldn't stop thinking "what if?": what if he had a gun? What if he had someone waiting him in the direction he went?
My mother wanted to kill me, but I got promoted. Good times.
BAMF.
GiphyWalked through the woods to smoke weed with some buddies. One of my friends dogs followed us. We were about to cross the Amtrak train tracks when I heard a high pitched whine. Look down one side of the tracks to see the headlight of a train speeding towards us, about a quarter mile away. These trains travel at over 100 MPH. My two friends, being high, got spooked and ran after I yelled about a train coming. I turned to walk away and out of the corner of my eye see "holly", my friends dog, just staring at me while standing right in the middle of the tracks. I ran as fast as I could to her, grabbed her by the collar and pulled her off the tracks. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her in close as the train sped by, inches from my body and the scared pooch. After the train passed I turned around to see my friends chest deep in stagnant pond water yelling "that was AWESOME!!!!". Situational awareness almost got me killed because I decided to save the dog. She has since passed. RIP Holly, you were always a good girl.
Done it. Those tracks are deep.
I was ten riding the DC Metro for the first time by myself when I dropped my keys on the track. Two minutes till the next train vs 5 seconds to get my keys from the track so I jumped down.
It's harder than you think to get back on those platforms.
Tempting. Risky, but tempting.
Quit my job, sold everything, and moved into a van for about a year.
Not all heroes wear capes.
GiphyWalked five miles from the Inner Harbor in Baltimore up north to my apartment at 2 AM. Lotsa sketchy folk.
