Women Explain Which Professions Are An Absolute Dealbreaker For Them In A Partner
Reddit user abigbearofaman asked: 'Women of reddit, what job would a man have that would be an automatic deal breaker for you?'
We've all heard the phrase, "to each their own," and one place this concept really applies is in relationships, what the couple's goals are, what they like to do, and what they dream of doing as a profession.
They also know what they don't want, including which careers would ultimately be a deal breaker if their partner were to suddenly start working in that profession.
Redditor abigbearofaman asked:
"Women of Reddit, what job would a man have that would be an automatic deal breaker for you?"
A Surgeon
"A surgeon. A lot of the times they're on the clock 24 hours per day, seven days per week, and that's just too much to handle."
- Terugtrekking
"I dumped a surgeon this year. He was a nice guy. But our plans were always canceled. My last straw was when we had a late-night date, we had sex at his place, then he immediately got up and started to get dressed."
"He was working in 30 minutes and he hadn't told me. Just f**k and run. It was the first (and only) time we had sex without condoms, too."
"I went home and ended things the next day. I realized I didn't want to live that way."
- ferretunderpressure
Chefs and Bartenders
"I’m a chef and I get it 100%."
"It takes a special person to be able to put up with the amount of time I’m not around. The group I work for is opening a new restaurant where I’m an owner, and that really ratcheted up the workload. It’s all in hopes of a better life on the other side in a few years."
"I make fantastic money for what I do, but it’s all about what will be and not what is at the moment."
"I do love my job and the people I’m around every day really add to my gratification. My now business partners are all successful industry people who are awesome to talk to about making it and that light at the end of the tunnel. They genuinely want everyone to be happy and successful and pay their employees fairly which is a rarity in this industry."
"However, the grind is real. I pray to be successful to allow myself a life I never thought I could have, and I’m more than halfway there."
"A side note would be that I am also the only chef in my group that is sober and actively takes care of themself and works out. Most I know allow alcohol to consume them and get stuck in this cycle of abuse and anxiety. It’s not an easy profession and it is less conducive than most careers when it comes to maintaining a healthy lifestyle."
- sasquatchington
"I'm glad to see Chef on the list. You can add Bartender to that list, as well."
- hopelesscaribou
"I have to semi-disagree on the chef. Don't date a WORKING chef. He's going to be in a s**tty mood after cooking all day for other people, and you'll either be cooking yourself or ordering out a lot because he damn sure won't want to cook at home."
"HOWEVER, I married a FORMER chef, as in he hasn't worked in a restaurant in years, and he does all the cooking in the house because he wants to,"
- personal-tourist3064
Truck Drivers
"Ladies, find yourself a Truck Driver. We make the best partner. You miss us, we come back, we start to annoy you when we are home, and we leave again."
- CasperH38
"I don't know, man... the amount of truck drivers I see on Grindr that are just passing through makes me skeptical."
- sicilian504
"I can’t be away from my partner for too long."
- FyouPerrythePlatypus
An Active Soldier
"An army soldier who is active on the ground or could be deployed any time."
"I’d be terrified of losing the man I love to the horror of war. I’d rather be alone. It is his decision to give up his life or sanity for war, but I just can’t be a partner and potential caregiver to someone like that."
"I already lost a happy childhood. I can’t sacrifice anymore."
- deadbydurp
First Responders
"First responders (particularly police officers). That’s a boatload of trauma I’m not prepared to deal with (having dated someone with really bad PTSD on top of my own trauma, it really made things worse for my mental health)."
"Every time I’ve matched with one of them on Tinder, the following conversation gave me weird as f**k vibes."
"It takes a certain type of person to be a partner for someone in those professions, and that's not me."
- spicyychorizoo
Lawyers
"I’m a lawyer, and I’ve told my sister to avoid lawyers. Yes, people might hate lawyers, but so do we."
- wynnduffyskiingg
Social Media Influencers
"Man who likes men here but: SOCIAL MEDIA INFLUENCER."
- A_Mirabeau_709
"Dating an influencer makes you a cameraman."
- ThinkPan
"I think I wouldn't mind handling the camera or the technical side of streaming and lighting. But I still don't think I'd want to spend that much time with an influencer."
- FuzzyLogic0
"I went on ONE date with one. Never again. She documented the entire date and her personality while on camera was different than on so it was like being on a date with two people at the same time."
- imanon33
Specifically TikTok Influencers
"TikToker. They are just so incredibly NPC (Non-Player Characters)."
- unchillhill
"I matched with one on Tinder once. He was a huge a**hole, and when I turned down his offer to hook up, he said, 'Do you know who I am?!' and went on this huge spiel about how famous he was."
- spazthejam43
Circus Performers
"Circus performers."
"No real juicy story here. We just had super different lives and almost no common points of reference. He dropped out of high school to join the circus (yes, really) and I went to college, grad school, then worked at universities so he had basically no understanding of what my life was like."
"He also had some weird habits and fixations, he took on new hobbies not because he was genuinely interested but because he thought they made him interesting. Very much a drive to get attention. He viewed all animals as tools rather than pets and had a real disdain for horses after working with them."
"He was nearly 30 when we met and was living in an apartment for the first time ever because he'd been on the road for his entire adulthood. We just had extremely different lives and it was novel at first but then it wasn't."
- nutellatime
Real Estate Agent
"Real Estate agent. Never again."
- ___Wasabi___
"I worked in sales for a number of years, and the number of ultra-competitive d-bags it attracts is unreal. I've always wondered if real estate isn't similar. Based on the presentation of some realtors, it looks worse, way, way worse."
- thecwestions
"As a guy who dated a woman realtor. Yep, never again. In sales, you have to get used to white lies. That permeates into the relationship. Also, if they are dedicated to their job. That means they are never off."
"You want a nice dinner with them but a lead call comes in. Guess what's happening. Yep, they are taking the lead call. You end up playing second fiddle to their job."
- pawsa
Someone Famous
"Personally, I wouldn't want to date anyone famous. Especially if they're someone who gets swarmed by fans."
- Oscars_Grouch
"Anyone famous or public facing (actor, politician) because no matter how much you try to keep yourself private, you will be talked about in media. There are a few celebrity couples who have been pretty successful at drawing those lines (Dolly Parton and Carl Dean) but even the strongest lines are blurry to some degree."
- tah4349
Life Coach
"A life coach."
- dylanjreid79
"Never again. I dated a former life coach and he'd say the most mundane s**t (or insights I'd already had, but phrased differently) and expect me to shower him with thanks and praise."
"By the time I left, he was trying to start an MLM (Multi-Level Marketing). Glad to be out of that one."
"It was rare for me to thank him when he exhibited this behavior. At one point, I remember looking at him silently after he said something obvious and he said, 'YOU'RE WELCOME.' Or he'd talk about how people go through their whole lives without knowing the earth-shattering (not) things he was telling me."
"I typically wasn't looking for advice anyway, but he just couldn't let go of thinking he had the (overly simplified) solutions to everyone's problems."
- llama_in_galoshes
Scammy Sales
"Tradeshow sales, drop shipping. My friend does this and I've worked with him before. Everyone is on something, everyone spends the day lying, and no one minds scamming people. Your coworkers are always stealing and sleeping around. It's all so scummy."
"I would be fine dating someone who created their product, sold handmade goods or food. I would be fine with someone who was part of the entertainment at fairs, but not someone in the drop shipping side."
- Scarred5
Religious Roles
"Something religious. I'm an atheist, happy to be one, and have no interest in becoming an ex-atheist."
- gilded_lady
"I'm an Atheist, and I was once casually seeing a religious guy who eventually told me that it was his 'mission from god' to bring me back to the church."
"That was the last night we ever spoke."
- WhoGotSnacks
No Job At All
"A lack of a job and zero desire to get one is a deal breaker for me."
"He could be 10/10 smoking hot but if he refuses to work and just sits on his a** all day playing video games and drinking, I’m out. A guy doesn’t have to make $60 an hour, but I’m in my 30’s. I need someone who has a job and is financially responsible. I’m not looking to be anyone’s sugar momma."
"I’m not talking about disabled people (legitimate reason to not work), people trying to find a job (I think we can all relate), or successful video game streamers. I’m talking about able-bodied guys who can work but refuse to even get even a part-time job out of pure laziness."
"I dated a guy like this once. We shared an apartment. I was working two jobs at the time, while he worked part-time but would call in for the stupidest reasons. 'I’m too tired.' 'My car won’t make it through the snow' (when there was 0.1' of snow on the ground)."
"He didn’t contribute, didn’t try to better himself, and he was content being a lazy sack of s**t. I left him. Now I’m doing great and he still depends on others to pay all his bills and expenses."
- draytonSawyersBBQ
It's pretty clear why most of these are on the list after the Redditors explained their reasoning. A common occurrence is thinking a job sounds impressive, like being a Surgeon, without realizing what home life would be like with that person, leading ultimately to unhappiness.
Relationships, whether that means dating or being in some form of a long-term relationship, are hard, and that definitely includes sexual intimacy. Whether it's trying to keep things interesting or staying connected after a long time of being together, many people struggle to stay intimate with their partner.
But some may be surprised at just how long some people go without having sex.
Redditor ItsRainingAlberts asked:
"What is the longest you've gone without sex, and why did you go so long?"
Tough Break-Ups
"A year. I was shattered from a break-up (two years ago)."
"Now I'm enjoying the dating scene."
- Enekovitz
No Rebounds
"A little over two years. I had no partner and wasn't really interested in finding one at that moment, and casual sex did nothing at all for me anymore. I didn't care about sex much at all during that period of my life."
- SexyChronicPain
A Dissolved Marriage
"Over three years. My wife wouldn’t touch me and I remained faithful."
"Now divorced at 40, it’s kind of hard to meet people, so the counter continues to go up."
"I'm doing mostly better since the breakup. I'm still struggling with seeing my daughter less and balancing work life and meager attempts of putting myself out there to meet new people."
- DarkScytheCuriositie
Lingering Grief
"Seven or eight years. Three or four years because my husband wasn't able to anymore, and almost five years since he died."
"I have no interest at all in looking for another life partner but I had tons of sex in my 20s so I'm all good now."
- PurplePanda1971
Social Trouble
"About a year now since my ex broke up with me. I haven't gotten anything since and probably won't for a while as I'm not very good at socializing, especially with people I'm interested in."
- billybongnong
Friends Only
"Since I had sex for the first time at age 16, the longest I have gone without was four years, from 2017 to 2021."
"Why? Because I'm now a single male in my late 40s. I have never had the desire to get married, and I don't do well in relationships."
"Most women in my age group are now married, and the ones who aren't are not interested in FWB (Friends With Benefits) relationships or one-night stands."
"I'm lucky to have found a woman who's interested in FWB, who's 27, and who has an obsession with older men, but women like her don't grow on trees."
- Fresh-Hedgehog1895
Lackluster Interactions
"Since my last relationship, all of my sexual encounters have been spontaneous, casual, and overall kind of meh."
- bazmonsta
Different Interests
"I will never have children or date someone with children and in your 30s that eliminates everyone. I'm at 2 years myself and while it sometimes gets lonely I've learned to like having 100% of my time belong to me."
- SchleftySchloe
Bad Experiences
"Two and a half years... still going strong. I don't want to get with someone again for now due to past experiences."
"I've had my fair share of relationships, and the sex (most of the time) wasn't bad but very good, the relationship though wasn't good a lot of the time, and in a relationship, I look for more than just sex, and I don't look for sex without a relationship."
"So for now, I'm good, and if I never have it again, I won't really cry about it."
- JVR84
The Importance of Intimacy
"A... while. Having sex is an incredibly intimate experience, and it can be hard to recover from bad experiences."
"I feel like a relationship is more than just the physical, the emotional bond and love, and support is what holds a relationship together. If you can't find that mutual love and respect, it doesn't matter how great the sex is."
- ItsRainingAlberts
An Evolving Relationship
"The last four years. Ever since my twins were born, my wife has had zero sex drive."
"We do the deed once, maybe twice, a year. I wish things were different, but I love her and if that’s all I get, then I’m willing to accept that."
- Jonquay84
The Way It Used to Be
"My husband has the same issue but shows me affection in other ways so I don't want to leave. Just wish that part was still there."
- WyattLP323
Low Point in Life
"I'm going on almost eight years now. I had a major life event where I lost everything, and the subsequent depression killed any desire to be with another human."
"I don’t even like to be touched now. I look at myself in the mirror and I am disgusted. I’m not ugly, but I have let myself go to a point where my physical looks match what I think I mentally look like."
- airlinehome
Mental Health
"I haven’t had sex in close to five years now, by choice. My antidepressants killed my sex drive so now I have zero interest."
- mermadzz
Medical Problems
"14 years and counting. I went through some pretty awful medical s**t that year, and one of the side effects is no more sex. This has been, as they said in ancient Babylonia, 'a real bummer.'"
- facelesscog
While the reasons for not experiencing sexual intimacy are all across the board, people who are currently missing the experience can at least take some comfort in how common of an issue this seems to be.
Do you have any similar experiences or anything to share? Let us know in the comments below.
People Break Down Which Things Everyone Should Know Before Getting Into A Relationship
Let's face it, being single is tough for a lot of us, especially when there's a special occasion coming up or all of our closest friends and family are in relationships while we're alone.
But the Reddit community wanted to remind the singles out there that there's more to think about in starting a new relationship than just feeling those butterflies.
Redditor Huge-Tackle-2152 asked:
"What is something everyone should know before getting into a relationship?"
Actions Above Words
"Love is an action and a choice. You need to make the choice to love someone you’re in a relationship with by showing that love to them."
"Love isn’t just the romantic feelings you have for someone. You have to actually 'do' love."
- eeo11
It's a Two-Way Street
"Not only are you getting a partner, but you also need to BE one, as well."
"Many people want to be in a relationship because they want someone, but they are not ready to actually be a partner, as well."
- BlockOfTheYear
Be Communicative
"Communication. If you're not communicating, then you're never going to be on the same page about anything, fights will never end, and problems will keep festering and come back to bite the both of you, etc."
- Codaxic
Argue Mindfully
"How you fight is important. It is so easy to hurt someone once you are close to them and you can't unsay things."
- Headgh
Accept the Dealbreakers
"Accept the other person as they are. You won’t be able to change them or who they are at their core, which means that if there’s something about them that’s a dealbreaker for you, don’t expect that it will ever change."
"Take that as your cue to leave or not start dating."
- eeo11
Accept Yourself, Too
"If you're pretending to be someone you aren't to get into the relationship, it's not going to work."
"You gotta cast your net a little further. There's a difference between putting yourself out there and pretending to be into s**t you secretly hate to land a partner."
- Vegan_Harvest
Not Everyone Is Your Person
"Don't chase someone who has made it abundantly clear they do not want you. If someone is interested in you, there won't be any confusion. It will be cut and clear."
"If you find yourself trying to change fundamental parts of who you are, to be what someone needs, that's not your person."
- LilRedChefInTheHood
You May Be the Problem
"Nobody is perfect, not even you. If you think someone is perfect, you are lying to yourself."
"If you think you are perfect, you are lying to yourself and everyone else. (And they are tired of your pompous bulls**t.)"
- RedIcarus1
Your Happiness, Your Responsibility
"If you think the other person’s job is to MAKE you happy, everyone is going to have a bad time."
"Of course, you can and should contribute to each other's happiness, but the individual must choose positivity and levity and work on their inner demons. No other people can achieve that for you."
- AnnoyinglyEarnest
Oops.
"Lust isn't love."
- TOMTEXOMA
Be Honest About Your Intentions
"Here’s one based on a painful experience of mine. If you’re not looking for a relationship and only want a f**k buddy, don’t pretend you want a relationship just to keep getting someone’s attention."
"You’ve wasted their time and will negatively impact their ability to have a relationship in the future."
- SectorZed
Don't Compromise on the Important Things
"But don’t compromise on your deal breakers or hope you can change someone. You should find someone who is compatible with you on the big things: what kind of life you want, if you want kids, how you handle disagreements, how you handle money, etc."
"Also, learn what common red flags for abuse are in relationships. Don’t compromise on those."
- ShimmeringShips
The Relationship Has More than Two People
"Have you met their family and friends?"
"Once you form a relationship, family and friends come along for the ride."
- Back2Bach
They Won't All Work Out
"Sometimes it’s just not worth fighting for. Relationships have hard times. But it shouldn’t ALWAYS be a hard time."
"Sometimes you just have to accept your energies don’t align and move on to allow yourself true happiness."
- Timeless_Clock_13
But Sometimes It's Worth It
"Love is a choice. You can be mad, you can be sad, you can be frustrated with your life, and it might reflect on your perspective of the other person, you might not even feel 'in love' at that moment, but you can always choose to love them."
"And usually, it's worth it."
- perunch
While the subReddit could admit that relationships can be pretty great, there are many considerations that go into committing to it.
From staying true to ourselves, to connecting to the other people in our partner's life, there's much more to love than romantic dates.
We've all heard the advice to not throw away a good thing over some small issue at some point in our lives, but fortunately, most of us haven't heard this to keep us from ending something as serious as a marriage.
But it seems there have been some people who have ended their relationships over the most ridiculous and mundane things.
So when Redditor dankph asked about it, divorce lawyers were ready to share:
"Divorce Lawyers of Reddit, what's the most outrageous reason someone has filed for divorce?"
Going Behind Each Other's Backs
"Paralegal, here. There are so many crazy divorces and divorce will bring out the absolute worst in couples. When thinking of reasons a divorce started, this one stands out to me the most:"
"At my last firm, we did general law, which included probate. A couple did their will with our firm. We drafted everything, they were in their mid-70s to early-80s. Married 40 years total. Divorced and remarried once."
"The husband wanted us to put in his will that his kids get his entire estate, but did not want us to tell his wife."
"He wanted to have us make a secret will and a fake will. The fake will would be signed with her present, and then he wanted us to shred it and he will come in later to sign the 'real will.' He copied his wife on the email that had all of this information disclosed in it."
"Two weeks later, he called us and said he wanted to file for divorce instead."
"And a bonus one: A previous client was P**SED because his wife was cheating on him. She wanted a non-contested divorce and wanted to use my boss specifically because she knew he was a great lawyer."
"He pretended to go along with her terms and contacted us literally 2 days before his wife and retained us. He said he didn't care how much money the retainer was but wanted my boss so his wife couldn't have him as a lawyer. He called and paid first, so he won that battle."
- PetiteChaos
"My ex and I had agreed to do mediation for our divorce instead of going with lawyers. He went out and met with all the best lawyers in town before choosing the biggest shark around. Then he had me served with papers out of the blue."
"We live in a relatively small town, I had to scramble to find a decent lawyer. Since he had consulted with all the local lawyers, I was unable to retain anyone. I ended up with one that worked in a neighboring town."
"My mom had to put the retainer down for me because my ex had liquidated all our bank accounts and reported all the credit cards we shared as stolen. (I had been a stay-at-home mom for 10 years, so I wasn’t making any money at that time)."
"It was a nightmare."
- RealHausFrau
"My 90-year-old client (the husband) and his son retained me to initiate divorce proceedings with his 88-year-old wife. They’d been married 60 years."
"The wife had recently taken to beating him with his own cane because their daughter poisoned her into thinking he was hiding money from them. The battle came down to husband and son versus wife and daughter."
"At their first court appearance, my client showed up in an old 1950s-style pinstripe suit and fedora. He was a farmer his whole life, and this was clearly the only suit he owned. He was such a meek and lovely old gentleman."
"To be honest, he reminded me of Al Capone or an old school gangster in his suit, which was 100% the opposite of his soft-spoken gentle demeanor. His red-faced adult son did all the tough-talking for him - I never heard my client directly say one bad word about the woman he was divorcing."
"I had to pass my client onto a new lawyer midway through the proceedings because I accepted a job in a different country, but I understand the divorce was eventually granted."
- Horrified_Witness
"I represented a porn actress and webcam model who filed for divorce from her husband who also did the porn and webcam model business."
"He would do gay porn on the side because the pay was better. She was hesitant about it but dealt with it because the pay was decent. Both sides had an agreement that it wasn't cheating as long as it was for work."
"One day she came home early and found her husband in bed with two men... they were not filming... that was too much for her. Needless to say, the old conservative judge couldn't wrap his head around this one..."
- FearTheChive
"My Grandfather's brother was a judge who presided over state issue marriages from time to time. One couple he married returned six months later to 'confirm' the wedding and end their trial marriage."
"When he thusly informed them that there was no such thing and that they had been married for six months, they subsequently broke up."
- Aths
Mother Knows Best
"I've had a lot of younger male potential clients come in for divorce consults with their mother."
"Then, during the consult, the mother does 98% of the talking, and it's clear who actually wants the divorce. (I'll usually escort Mom to wait in the lobby while I talk to the son directly, and most of the time he's just there to appease his mother.)"
"On a related note, I once had just the mother call for a consult because she said explicitly she wanted her son to get a divorce. I politely informed her that's not how divorces worked..."
- Elle_Woods
"My parents always told each other when they were fighting that if they got divorced, the other had to keep me and my brothers."
- livingonameh
"My mom worked in abuse and neglect counseling and juvenile justice. There are a lot more cases like this than I'd care to admit."
"Parents divorce and neither side wants the kid. Some of them are that neither side wants a kid but will fight over another kid. If ends up totally screwing them over because they have to live with the fact that their parents didn't want them."
- ComfyF**ker9000
"I knew a couple who were married for only a few hours."
"The bride's side of the family was being disrespectful to the groom's side at the reception."
"He brought this up on the way to the hotel after the reception which caused a heated argument. The bride calls up her family who arrive at the hotel and start a fight with the groom in the lobby."
"The groom called his side of the family as well. The hotel lobby turned into a screaming match field and they separated there and then."
"It was such an extravagant wedding. What a waste."
- Wogachino
Splitting Hairs
"Paralegal. A couple got divorced over a cat. The wife called the cat Snowball because of her white fur and only wanted the cat to eat wet food or chicken breast."
"The husband called the cat Lily again because of its white fur and believed it should only eat dry food."
"These two argued for a year over custody of the cat but did not give a sh*t about their human kids aged 15 months, 4 years, and 6 years old."
- sxcamaro
"My aunt had a case where the wife had glued all of the outdoor hoses together so he wouldn't spend more time washing his vehicle anymore."
"When the glue didn't work, she just cut them all up. When he bought new ones, she filed for divorce."
- amazinglymorgan
"My dad was a divorce lawyer. He had a client who wanted to divorce her husband for two reasons:"
"He did not have enough hair on his chest."
"And he did not drive fast enough."
"Keep in mind, this was in the '70s when chest hair was a bit more important."
- Bodhi_ZA
"When I clerked for a judge, we had a week-long divorce trial between a couple. The husband was a wildlife photographer and the wife was a stay-at-home wife (no kids) who... helped 'remodel' the home."
"Anyway, the husband was mauled by a grizzly bear he was photographing and spent several months in the hospital and rehab. He was served papers shortly after getting out, now without an eye and with severe scarring on his face and side."
"She wanted half of everything. The non-scarred half at least."
- Mehndeke
"I knew a guy from a high school job who divorced his wife of 2 months because she would sleep with a nightlight but he could only sleep in total darkness, as they apparently never lived together until after getting married."
"He hated her nightlight so much that he would often sleep on the couch instead, but sometimes he would claim the bed for himself and lock her out of the bedroom for the night."
"This was an eccentric late 40s man working at a burger king who acted like all the other high school coworkers were his best chums, and often told us these weird stories. I'm glad I don't work with him anymore."
- yeerk_slayer
While some of these reasons were legitimately disgraceful and hurtful, some of the other reasons were so insignificant to end an entire marriage over.
This calls for a gentle reminder for couples to really get to know each other before exchanging those wedding vows.
Dating is never easy, and yet, most still do it. But we have to go through a lot of frogs to find our prince or princess.
Dating is also different for everyone. Sometimes, you meet a person you automatically feel a connection with, you go out, and by the end of the night, you know you found your soulmate. Other times, the person does or says something that makes you think, Nope!
Unfortunately, the latter seems to happen more often than not. Redditors certainly agree, as they all gathered to share their stories of first date events or behaviors that were instant deal breakers.
It all started when Redditor 8vv0 asked:
“What’s an automatic deal-breaker on a first date?”
Server Doesn't Mean Servant
"The way someone acts toward servers can tell you a lot about who they really are. I had a boss who insisted on interviewing me at a restaurant and explained that reasoning to me after giving me the offer. As someone who served for years I can tell you he was correct."
– Shiba_Ichigo
"I once went on a blind-ish date and literally all she talked about was the show “sex and the city”. For an hour. Only stopping to berate the waitress over nothing."
"It was bizarre, and kind of fascinating. At a certain point I thought I was on one of those prank tv shows that were popular at the time."
– EarthDoomProphecy
It's All About Me
"Showing no/barely any interest in me personally. Only talking about themselves and not showing interest when I tell about myself."
– ForgetMeNot01
"100%. When you try to join the 'conversation' & they somehow immediately find a way to use what you say to direct it right back to themselves."
– CrumbledTheCookies
Gross!
"A dude once took his socks off while we watched a movie and started using his fingernails to dig stuff out from under his toenails."
"I was immediately out."
– kittermcgee
"Did he at least invite you to join in?? No? Outrageous!"
– invaderjif
"Yeah, that's third date shit."
– TheGuv69
Be Who You Are
"When they're clearly 20 years older than the pictures they used on the dating app"
– mulans_goat
"That happened to me on one of the very first dates I went on with someone I met online abt 10 years ago. Back then, I didn’t realize that if a dude has one grainy picture of his face and that’s it, he’s hiding something, lol."
"Dude was a cop (bleh), 50+ lbs heavier than his pic and balding, and dumb as fuck. You’re fat and bald, own it dude, don’t pretend to be you from 10 years ago, lol. As soon as he stood up, I thought oh hell no."
"Date was awkward af but dude thought it went so well he could ask for a second one. Nah, bro."
– PistolPetunia
Be There Or Be Square
"Not showing up"
– FastTrack777
"Look at you with your impossible standards."
– Shurdus
"I just imagine some poor guy sitting at a table alone, finishing his meal completely unbothered."
"After paying his check, he looks stone-faced at the vacant chair across from him, and goes off on am 'I don't think this is going to work out' speech."
– SEND_ME_SOCK_PICS
Don't Tell Me What To Eat!
"Choosing my food for me"
– raven_widow
"YES! The only first date I even walked out of was the guy who insisted on ordering for me and refused to believe I don't like avocados (yes, I'm odd, I know!)."
"I was so stunned that I just sat there until the food came, listening to to him talk, then as soon as he insisted I try the food I was not interested in, I left enough cash to cover the check and walked out."
"Edited To Add - I have found my people here! Before this thread I thought I was the only one who didn't like avocados!"
– CreampuffOfLove
"I remember when I was a teen people used to say that the guy should choose the food for the girl, I always thought that was weird af"
– justfantasea19
You Must Be Single
"A wedding ring"
– justanotheruser1788
"I was talking with this woman who was really up-front about wanting to go out for dinner and dancing with me, but she had a wedding ring. I told her that I have a firm policy against dating married women."
"'But I'm your wife,' she said."
"'No exceptions'."
– Philip_Anderer
Nothing's Ruder Than This
"If we’re sharing loaded nachos, and they specifically take all the ones with meat and cheese and stuff, leaving you with just chips. I mean just chips."
"Restaurants should have a rule about that."
– Bing_Bong_the_Archer
Ignorance Upon Ignorance
"He completely out of the blue told me he didn’t believe in birth control"
– pnwpuget
"Went on a first date with a girl that said she couldn't take birth control due to a hormone imbalance and she was allergic to latex. I asked her how she stayed safe and she said 'I'm just really careful'."
"Nope."
– archaelleon
"Good Lord, I would've looked like the Road Runner cartoon where he just blasts through a mountain or something and all you see is the silhouette."
– NotMyRealName814
Four's A Crowd
"Well about a month ago I made plans to meet up for a date with this girl that I was really getting along with."
"Then AFTER the plans were made she calls me and says 'Oh yeah, I should probably tell you that I'm engaged and my fiancee will be joining us... but it's alright, we have an open relationship and he's bringing his girlfriend too'."
– Bluevettes
I’ve never realized how lucky I was to not have any first date horror stories!