Curious to hear about their shattered self-esteem, Redditor JadenYuki15 asked:
"Dear boys of Reddit, we all know the whole, 'the worst thing she can say is no,' and that its bs. What's the worst rejection you've ever received?"
Stingers
The zingers here really dented these Redditors' self-esteem.
Harsh Dis
"I asked a girl out in high school and she just looked at her friends, said eww, and walked away. It crushed my self esteem for months."
A Horrible Person
"There was this girl I was on good terms with. Good friends for a number of years, always had a crush on her but just decided I was done hiding that. So I asked her out."
"You'd do much better asking a face surgeon for a consultation. I'm going to take a shower. Bye."
"Yeah...I mean, we were good friends, a simple 'no' would have sufficed. Unsurprisingly our friendship didn't last much longer because boy oh boy she turned into a horrible person. And by that I mean she started hanging with some really f'ked up people, and when I did actually end up in a relationship, she got super jealous (the f'k) and tried her best to end it. And she succeeded."
– We1tfunk
The Punchline
"At a bar with a friend, I asked a girl for her number and she said, 'I have one but not for you.' I went back to my friend and we laughed and got drunk."
The Bad Insult
"I asked someone out and she said she'd pardon my language: never go out with a 'retard.' I have borderline intellectual functioning but she called me that because I was in special Ed classes. Here I am at 27 and haven't asked anyone out since high school."
Awkward Red-Faced GIF by moodmanGiphySalt On The Wound
In addition to being rejected, more humiliation was to come for these poor guys.
Sorry, J.K.
"I went to school with a girl I ended up nicknaming JK."
"Her initials were actually JK, so she never thought much about it, but I called her that because she was always 'just kidding'."
"She would flirt with you nonstop, making you think she really had a thing for you, until you built up the courage to ask her out. Then she'd laugh and say she didn't think about you like that."
"Weeks later she'd start flirting again, really pouring it on that she wanted you, rinse and repeat."
"Wasn't 'the worst' rejection or anything but man was it aggravating to keep falling for it!"
The Popular Girl
"I asked a girl out privately in highschool, she rejected me politely but told everyone at school that I asked her out. That would have been fine but she is a popular girl in highschool while I am an ordinary, unnoticeable student. Every boys that liked her bullied me until the end of the year for confessing to her."
Former Flat Earthers Explain What Finally Made Them Come Around | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Science is science. Fact is fact. Truth is truth and simple is simple. These are things we must now attest to in 2021. Can we please all get onboard with wha...Team Effort
"Making small talk at a bar with a girl and offered to buy her a drink. She said 'nooo, I'll buy you a drink!' Can't argue with that, I thought, and accepted."
"She got me a gutter shot... Apparently she was dating the bartender and it was a thing they did whenever she got hit on."
"Ninja edit: a gutter shot is when the bartender scoops up a shot glass full of whatever spilled drinks ended up in the trough behind the bar. It's disgusting and probably not sanitary. Anyway, she was a b*tch and that bartender was an a**hole. I left without paying and never went back."
Twisting The Knife
"I told a girl in high school i had feelings for her and then she completely ignored it and told me about how she was f'king her personal trainer and proceeded to send me pictures of them together."
Height Prejudice
"She laughed in my face and said, 'Oh, you were serious? I don't date short guys.' I'm 5'4."
"6 years later I'm doing very well, she is couch-surfing."
"Saw her at a bar recently and she didn't recognize me, partly because I grew a beard and partly because she was so sloshed."
"She tried to hit on me, and I'm actually proud that I just said no thanks, but I'm flattered."
"Proud of myself, sad for her."
Scorned Dance Partner
"Girl I was in to in middle school, who was supposedly into me to. We used to dance at the dances, kind of. At the end of one, everyone was pairing up for the next dance, so I asked her if she wanted to go to the next dance with me. No hesitating, she just said no. Hurt like hell. But I still had feelings for her and it ruined a possible relationship later because I couldn't let that girl go."
The Shallow Date
"A friend set me up on a date with a wonderful woman and we got along well. But when I took off my hat and revealed that I was bald, she gasped and walked briskly to the bathroom."
Lies
The passive aggressive type of rejection cuts deeper.
The Excuse
"I met this girl at a Metal concert (specifically Gwar), she came up to me and was scared because of the mosh pit, and insisted I hold onto her because I was the biggest guy there (6'5" and 250lbs), she was cute so of course I did. After the show ended I forgot to get her number but gave her a drumstick of one of the opening bands. Fast forward a few days later I get a message on Facebook asking if I was the guy who gave her the drum stick, and I said yes. We ended up hanging out, a few times, got lunch, and I asked her out, I was told she does not date younger guys (she I guess was 25, I was 20 at the time), Fast forward a few days later, I find out she was dating an 18 year old so surprised me with a curveball."
Presumed Single
"I bought a girl a few drinks at a nightclub in my early twenties. After about 3 drinks, I asked her if she wanted to come hang with my friends and I. She leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek and says 'Thanks for the drinks I have to get back to my boyfriend now.' My guy friends were laughing their a**es off."
– RAM_592
The Prom Date
"Asked a girl to our prom in high school. She said someone already asked her. She came with her brother."
Based on these responses, it seems some rejections are no worse than any of the others.
Although it may still sting, "I'm just not that into you" is better than a cruel punchline harsh enough to annihilate a dude's self-esteem, stomp it to pieces, and pour acid all over it.
The good news is, the ones who have the capacity to insult you at a vulnerable moment are the ones you would not want to take home and introduce to mom.
Don't give up hope, gents. There's definitely a keeper out there somewhere for you who will be worth the wait.
Wondering about how life resumed for women post-proposal, Redditor Interesting-Cod478 asked:
"Women who got proposed to but rejected it, why and how did your life change afterwards?"
The Ring
"I was dating a guy for two or three weeks (yes, weeks) and he proposed to me. With a ring he had bought for another woman. Which he told me as he was proposing. I said no and kind of slowly ghosted him because YIKES."
Wasn't A Joke
"I guy a went on one date proposed to me because he wanted a green card. I thought he was joking at first. He wasn't. I said no and then goodbye forever"
– azick545
"It was honestly hilarious. I was like at least put in some more effort, string me along, etc. But at least he made his feelings apparent quickly and I didn't have to worry anymore."
– azick545
"I was proposed to in a pretty nonchalant manner by a fellow student at my local community college. I had just turned 21 and he was in his mid 40's. The class was scuba diving."
"He has some really good reasons for me to marry him. He was completely deaf, so his proposal was witnessed by an interpreter and most of the class. He spoke well but was a little hard to understand at times so he signed and spoke the whole thing while the interpreter stood by to make sure I understood what he was saying and had to repeat a couple things that I didn't catch."
If It Weren't For The Age Gap
"The class was pretty laid back so we were all mostly comfortable with each other. Hanging out chatting after class one day and he gets my attention and says, very matter of fact 'we should get married, here's why' and proceeds to list several reasons why. Some of his reasons were- I could drive his Jeep any time I wanted. It was a brand new Rubicon and I had an older grand cherokee so obviously I love jeeps."
"I could play music as loud as I wanted any time of day, wouldn't bother him. We would never fight because he couldn't hear me anyway. He had a job, collected disability pay, and had his own home so I would never have to work. I always looked so interested in what he had to say. That one was him picking on me because he knew I didn't know sign language."
"He said it would be perfect. I agreed with him that it did sound pretty great, except for the fact that he was the same age as my dad and that was weird."
"I kindly declined his proposal and he joked about me crushing his spirits and how I was the only girl for him. He pretty much dropped it but he would ask me occasionally throughout the rest of the class 'change your mind yet?' Then we'd have a good laugh."
"He was the nicest guy, I think just a little lonely. Always kind hearted and loved helping everyone out. He loved that he was on an even playing field while scuba diving, no one can hear under water. He was fun to be around. Too bad he was twice my age."
"Jerry, if you're out there and remember this interaction, I dated a few guys that were sh*t compared to how you'd treat a lady and I thought about your proposal often. I'm incredibly happy with the boy that I hope to marry someday and I genuinely hope you've found someone that makes you happy and treats you well."
– S-Crumby
The Senior Player
"92 yr old man at a nursing home used to ask me and every other woman to Marry him daily. Had this whole sweet old man line 'your the most beautiful woman I've ever seen' , I would reply 'I just heard you say the same thing to that nurse,' 'but you're prettier.' Made me smile everytime. He had forgotten he was already married."
White Water Rafting Followed By A Proposal
"A friend of mine in another city, had been trying to set me up with her male roommate. He, whom I had never met, had won tickets for white water rafting in BC... about 6 hours away for me, and 3 for him... we decided to do a weekend trip to meet (my friend insisted that he was cool... otherwise I never would have gone without knowing him for a while.
Anyways... I was *very* clear that we wouldn't be having sex, since we had just met, and he agreed, pointing out that he was strict Roman Catholic and would not have sex until married."
"First night we fooled around a bit, but nothing much.... went white water rafting the next day, had dinner and back to the room."
"He very excitedly tells me that he met a priest who was also staying at the hotel, and PROPOSES!!!! With complete seriousness!!"
"WTF!! Everything after that went rather poorly. He didn't understand why I wouldn't see him again after dropping him off at home."
"Did not change my life, other than have a good story...."
Sweet Little Suitors
"I worked as a pre-k teaching assistant for a year. The head teacher was married so they called her Mrs. while I was not so they called me Ms. Eventually some of the kids noticed this difference and started asking why head teacher was Mrs. and I wasn't. We explained that she was married and I didn't have a husband. Upon hearing that one little boy loudly stated 'I will marry you! I want to be your husband!' I got 3 other proposals from 3 different 4 year olds that day. Definitely not a serious story, but one that always makes me smile :)"
The Deadbeat
"Okay, my first boyfriend. Started dating in high school, my end of 9th grade year, he was a senior. So he went off to college, lived 2 hours away. Cool, everything was cool. My junior year, he moves back to our hometown. Didn't talked about, I asked him about college. He just said he didn't want to go anymore, then I realize this guy can't commit to a job, like in high school I understood the slack. I ended things with him that summer before I went for my senior year."
"Years pass, I moved to a different city 3 hours away from our hometown. We get in contact again because I was getting over a bad break up. After 2ish years we start dating again. I think he finally has good things going for him, like his future. Well, after dating for like 3 months he moved in with me, I didn't want this, yet his mother was being kicked out of the house they were renting. ( due to non_payment )
About 6 months into him living with me, he's jobless, demanding I pay his car payments, won't clean up anything, and just plays games all day. He asked me to marry him, I said yeah cause people were watching but I promise you, and soon as we get back to my apartment, I give him $40, tell him to go back to his mom's so she could take care of him for the rest of her life!!"
Atypical Proposal
"Not a typical proposal but I had a coworker, who I never dated or even knew of any attraction to me, ask me to marry him. He said he was up for a job where he'd be making over 100k in less than 5 years. This was back in the late 90s so it was good money for our age back then. He said he'd buy me a house and the car I was in love with at the time (BMW Z3) plus I wouldn't have to work. I said no thanks and then luckily got another job shortly afterwards that set me on my current career path which I wouldn't change for anything."
The Weapons Expert
"There was a guy I dated for awhile. He was National Guard and had previously served 4 years in the Army as a weapons expert. He had a concealer's permit and always had his gun on him or in his car. He also liked to collect guns."
"He proposed and I declined."
"6 months later I come to find out he went to a party and his gun was discharged in his car. His sister told me it was an accident when he pushed the gun off the seat onto the floor. But I think something is off about the story."
A Gut Feeling
"We were together two years when he asked. I think we could have been happy and great in a lot of ways but, fundamentally, I never would have been happy."
"He was a very nice guy but had a very overbearing mother that he let run his life. He had no idea who he was or what he wanted. He just let his mother choose his life for him, from his career to his underwear."
"I think he proposed as a last ditch effort to keep me because he knew deep down I was on my way out."
"I was sad about it until I spoke with a good friend of mine who has a sister that married a mama’s boy. She recounted to me how absolutely difficult her marriage was (currently going through a divorce). It was then I realized I dodged a massive bullet."
"Couldn’t be happier now. Last I heard, he’s still a gopher with a law degree and his parents promoted his sister over him. I’m now with a guy that is his own person and makes his own decisions. Very grateful."
Won't Take "No" For An Answer
"We were eighteen, only together for about two months. We were sitting there and they said, 'How would you feel if I got you a ring?'”
"And I thought it best to be honest so I said, 'I think it’s a little too soon for that, but maybe next year that could be nice.'”
"Well, big mistake. They pulled out a damn ring."
“Oh. I all ready got it. I guess I’ll just keep it to myself then if you don’t want it.”
"The next few weeks were a huge string of, 'If you don’t love me and want my ring I’m going to drive my car off a bridge.'”
"At first, I didn’t see it because he resented how involved she was in his life. It slowly dawned on me that while he may resent it, he absolutely could not make any kind of decision on his own. From whether he wanted to attend church or what kind of higher degree he wanted, he left it to his mother."
"When he quit a great job at a prestigious law firm that he liked, to work for his parents as a gopher for 20k a year, it basically ended the relationship right then."
Identifying Dealbreakers
"I was caught off guard and said yes to avoid making a scene, but ended it shortly after that. We had been together for a couple of years. I wasn't happy and hadn't been for a while. Once I took the time to think it over I realized that his idea of getting married was to capture our life together in a bottle and seal it up so that nothing could ever change."
"The fact that our relationship was the way that it was, but he wanted to married me, made me think that I would be signing up for us to never work on our problems as a couple, and that I had nothing but question marks about how we would navigate things as we both aged. We hadn't discussed marriage so he never should have sprung a proposal on me. I wish I had handled it differently, but it wasn't fair for him to do that."
"After we broke up and I got him out of my house I instantly felt happier on a day-to-day basis because of how much the relationship had been weighing me down, but it wasn't too long after that that my mental health actually really tanked. I spent multiple years suppressing my needs, feelings and desires and blurring my boundaries, so once I had space to actually see and honor those things, it was uncomfortable for me."
"I'm still in therapy working on all of that. I'm in another relationship now, my first one since that breakup, and while every relationship is difficult, I've come into this one with a lot better understanding of what I'm NOT interested in having and what some of my dealbreakers are. I also feel an urge to move a lot more slowly in this relationship than what I felt previously, probably because I've learned to value boundaries so much more."
For these folks, I do was I don't.
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One reddit user asked:
Guys, what made you realize, "this girl is definitely not into me"?
and honestly a lot of the responses had people cracking up. There aren't a lot of signals any clearer than faking amnesia or an official "wristband of friendship."
So kick back and have a read and a cringe. And please, if you'e got a hilarious rejection story share it. I mean, I once had a dude move all the way to the other side of the country rather than just tell me he was done. My friends still laugh about how ridiculous that was, but that's a story probably best saved for a whole other article...
Camping And Consequences
We flirted for several weeks, hung out every day, I kept feeling a closer and closer connection but due to circumstances I could not control we were never alone enough together for me to test it. Had some friends plan a camping trip and I invited her and she said yes. I even specifically told her there's gonna be two couples there so we're gonna be in a tent just the two of us, she said yeah she knows.
Get to the trip, we have a few drinks and I ask her if she wants to take a walk with me to look at stars (I get it, it's corny, shut up.) Once we're a little away from everyone I tell her how much I like her and attempt to go in for a kiss.
NOPE: "Sorry...I'm not what you're looking for"
That shattered me; utterly gutted.
We ended up going to a different area that weekend, met another group and I ended up meeting a girl who actually was into me - which made the first girl act wildly jealous and leave.
An Ego 180
I was with 2 guy friends at our mall one time (years ago in jr. High). A small group of girls started following us. So we stopped and waited to see what they would do. Eventually 1 comes over and says that her and her friends think we're cute and can they have our numbers. I remember feeling pretty bad@ss just then - I didn't realize yet that I wasn't included lol.
So one buddy says he has a girlfriend (he did), girl looks at buddy #2 and he gives her his number. She says ok thanks and leaves. Didn't even look at me. Ego did a 180 that day. Lol
- TenGHz
Death
faint fainting GIFGiphyI told em I had feelings for them they responded with
"I'm dying"
They followed it up with a joke about corona and pretended like I never said anything. Which to be honest hurts more than proper rejection, at least acknowledge it.
If It Aint Broke, Don't Fix It
Gave a girl at work my number on a piece of paper and she handed it right back and said "We talk at work all the time so let's keep doing that"
Savage!
At least she was clear about it though...
That sucks, but gotta give it to her, she ripped off the band-aid fast, no ambiguity in that rejection.
One Sided
Stopped texting first and realized that she never texted me for three days. It was totally one sided.
An actual girlfriend ran this experiment and found that I didn't text her for a week... some people are just sh*t (ie. me). My bf status didn't survive this experiment, but I learned from it.
I was 18, fun loving and carefree, and I've always had a poor grasp of passing time... I had no idea. We lived a 30min drive for her/60min bus for me apart, so it wasn't unusual to go a week without seeing each other. She suspected that she was the one driving the text conversations, and apparently she was absolutely correct.
I was soooo into this girl, and it sucks that I made her think otherwise. I'm 35 now, and we're still friends. I'm very happily married, in no small part due to some post-break up coaching from the first girl on how to be a better human.
"Oh..."
My roommate encouraged me to ask this girl out. He said she really liked me.
So I ask her out and set a dinner date. I pick her up and at dinner, she barely responds to me. I ask questions about her major, her family, etc and all I get back are short answers and no follow up. I'm frustrated and she's unhappy and I guess we both look miserable when the waitress tells us that we need to perk up and be happy!
She then asks how long we've been dating. Her face falls when I tell her this is the first date she goes "Oh..." and walks away and doesn't really talk to us again.
After dinner, we were supposed to go to a friend's house who was having a party but I look at her in the car and say "Look, obviously neither one of us had a good time. Instead of going to the party why don't I take you back to your dorm?" She said yeah and that was it.
The waitress really did put her foot in her mouth but it was good for me to hear that "Yes, yes this is a horrible date and it's obvious to other people too. Time to cut your loses and go home."
I went back to my roommate FURIOUS and asked him why he thought she had a crush on me. He said he thought she would catch a crush on me once she got to know me, making me realize he hadn't even talked to her.
Yeah, well she didn't.
The Wristband
She gave me a thin paper wristband she has made which said "the wristband of friendship". Like literally printed on it.
This is the best one by far. Sorry but also thank you. I might have not even been upset 'cause it's just so funny.
- HobKing
I feel like if it got that far for you to realize she wasn't into you then you probably deserve the blunt message at least a little bit since whatever else she tried obviously wasn't working.
Lock Screen
Oh snap. So, last fall I went to class and ran into this really cute girl and I thought "hey, I'm gonna try to talk to her more" and over the next 2 weeks I found 0 openings until we were told to get into groups for a project. Small class, but I wasn't in her group so I asked her if it was cool if I joined her group because they seemed more serious than my other group. (Bunch of losers)
She said yes. So it was me, her best friend and another girl I'd talked to for a bit. We agreed to meet up on Friday at the library. We talked a bit more before then and became friends. She's really touchy so she'd grab my arm, lean on me etc. I thought she was into me. I show up early and she was there alone so we began to talk and she's sooo much like me. Has a weird sense of humor, very smart, and super friendly. She even liked Dragonball. That's the dream!
Then the other two girls arrive and I see her phone and her lock screen is of her best friend. The other girl comments "Aww, your best friends your lock screen?" And she says "nope, my girlfriends my lock screen"
So that really made me realize she totally wasn't interested in me at all.
Funny thing is, we all are still really good friends. We've tried to take classes together and she's helped me out when I had trouble. I accidentally ruined her surprise birthday party, we hung out while we could, she'd buy us lunch, invite us to her place and we really have a good time together. Those 3 girls are the best friends I've made in university.
It's kinda sad but before I went like 6 months without anyone in college saying my name or even talking to me. They weren't mean. They were just not my friends. But I met these girls and I have a friend network, I have a constant study group and she's even helping me lose weight because I couldn't do it on my own.
She wasn't into me but I honestly couldn't care less. I'm way happier now than I was before I met her.
Amnesia
music video amnesia GIF by VevoGiphyI have to tell this because it's hilarious and I know for a fact it's true because I witnessed it.
A girl I know was dating a guy who turned out to be married. The wife found out but stayed with the husband. So the guy gets in a car accident and the side chick girl calls to see if he's ok.
The dude tells her he has amnesia and doesn't remember her and he's with his wife now. Homeboy done said he got amnesia to get rid of the side chick!
Bathroom Breaks
I was in a club and wanted to go to the bathroom. He kept pulling me back into his lap. I tried to explain and he wouldn't listen. So I peed in his lap
- gigila
A Slip
When I accidentally let a fart slip as we got out of the car to her crib and then suddenly had to sleep in the guest room.
Let Me Stop You Right There
Female colleague at the beer garden: "Awww, cute. But let me stop you right there. You are more like a cute little brother."
She was 28-29, I was 21-22. It didn't hurt as much as I thought/excepted. Still in contact with her.
Thanks Dad
Kinda sorta on topic, but 180 degrees different:
I once lived with this very beautiful woman, and my dad, who hadn't visited much, suddenly started visiting me once a month (flying his plane to the local airport). I thought, great...it's good to get to hang out more. When that relationship ended, suddenly and immediately dad stopped flying there to see me. So...yeah, I found out my dad definitely wasn't into me, just my girlfriend.
- Kurt300
Aging Well
Not a girl, cos gay etc. But heard this guy I worked with had a crush on me, which was awesome cos I always liked him but didn't think I had a chance as I was about 8 years older.
We went on a few dates and got on really well, looked like it was going somewhere until I dropped my age into a conversation and saw the horrified look on his face. Turns out his roommate told him I was MUCH younger than I actually was and from that point on it was pretty clear it was going nowhere.
On the plus side, found out I still look young af 👍
Almost
its happening almost famous GIFGiphyI asked a girl out to see a movie and she turned up with a female friend. I only had two tickets, and this was a very nice movie theatre so the seats were allocated . I bought another one, but it was now late, so the seat was at the back...and yes, that's the one I sat in.
She called me later and said 'they had tried to find me..' but from my crows nest seat I had seen them leave. They had quickly walked straight to the exit, not even looking back.
I can't see 'Almost Famous' without feeling that same disappointment.
Eye-Snapping Karma
I had never been dumped, I was always the one to end it. So the first time it happened I didn't even realize it.
It was only while clearing an email inbox, running across an old message from someone I had left, recognizing the language—someone else had been saying all the same things to me that I had been saying to this other girl.
...Oh—I am being ghosted! And I'm acting like one of those clingy "psycho" girls I used to date...
...Oh—being ghosted sucks. Those girls were not psycho, I am just a terrible person...
Opened my eyes. Hard. Not just snapping to the fact that the girl I loved did not want to be with me (ouch)
But also that I had done the same thing to so many girls without even realizing (yikes)
So not just hurt, shock, embarrassment but also shame on top; a real seven-layer burrito of trash.
In the long run it made me a better person. When it came time to end things in later relationships, from either direction, I handled it better.
...too bad I didn't realize it before I spiraled and burnt a bunch more bridges... sigh
Fell Flat
After taking her out to dinner, having a great time, making out with her and slowly our clothes came off and... she was super super dry.
I noticed she had an odd expression on her face. Like you lost a loved one or had your heart broken -and then I realized everything like the end of a SAW movie:
She didn't really get over her ex-fiance who died of cancer a year before.
I knew her for 10 years and I always had a crush on her too! Out of circumstance we just both were always seeing someone else. We were never single at the same time.
I just hated how it fell so flat lol. UGH.
Initiation
Actually initiated the hug for once and she tensed up, recoiled and let out a little yelp. I think about that girl all the time. She was the perfect height for me to rest my chin on her head when I hugged her. I wish I was less awkward back then.
Addition By Subtraction
When my 60 year old female neighbor and close "friend "of 5 years told me not to come near her after I got the flu shot, but wanted to hang out during the Covid-19 quarantine. She then went after another man.
Addition by subtraction. There were many other quirks like ADD, germophobia, possible bipolar and others - but that was the last straw. Too much baggage for an attractive woman that age which; explains why she was never married.
- mdjake
A Crumb Of A Hint
Uhhh once me and a guy i was friends with kept matching on dating apps, and we would be playful and I would ask him to hang out and he would say he's down. Once I ran into him at a bar and sat with him awhile and he looked at me deeply and said, "You know, I think about you a lot."
And idk he was drunk so I didnt want to make a move when he wasnt sober, but I told him the same and we flirted a little. Then on Instagram i got bold once and called him attractive and flirted, and all he did was "like" the message, so I just stopped. If I cant tell if they return an interest, and if they're not making any obvious indications, why would I even want them?
Part of dating is wanting to feel wanted. I genuinely really liked him for a few years, even before the dating apps. But if someone wants you, you shouldn't feel confused about it. You should have more than a crumb of a hint.
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