People Reveal The Biggest Red Flags They Ever Ignored
Reddit user opticfawn asked: 'What's the biggest red flag you ignored?'
As Jane Austen so famously taught us in her immortal classic Pride and Prejudice, first impressions can be deceiving.
For while the dashing Fitzwilliam Darcy first appeared arrogant, rude, and snobbish to Elizabeth Bennett, she would soon learn that he was, in fact, the true love of her life.
However, even if we shouldn't jump to conclusions based solely on a first impression, that doesn't mean we shouldn't be cautious about certain things we notice.
A "red flag," as it were.
There are many people who deeply regret entering into what proved to be an ill-advised romantic relationship, or hiring an employee who proved anything but up to the task, feeling that they missed the obvious sign back when they first met them that this was an association bound to end in disaster.
"What's the biggest red flag you ignored?"
Bad Luck, Or Bad Habits?
"She had astronomically bad luck."
"She had been falsely accused of plagiarism and kicked out of college."
"She had a DUI on her record even though she wasn’t that drunk but the breathalyzer was miscalibrated and they mixed up her blood sample with a different DUI arrest."
"She got fired from her job for stealing when she didn’t actually steal but got set up."
"Everything just went wrong for her."
"Or maybe, just maybe, she was a huge a**hole who couldn’t own up to her own sh*t."- AmatuerCultist
Dubious Track Record
'She told me every guy she dated broke up with her."
"I eventually found out why."- draiman
Can't They Weren't Honest
"'I'm not in a good place to be in a relationship'."
"Yeah, I probably should have listened to that one."- spockgiirl
Drew Barrymore Oops GIF by NETFLIXGiphyThem Against The World
"Everything was always someone else's fault."
"All of his ex's were crazy/wrong."
"His family was problematic."
"Everybody was against him."
"Egad, did I find out about him the hard way."- ricwash
"She rage-quit every relationship she had ever had."
"I was her last friend, so I thought she would hang on to me."
"Nope."- Logical-Pop-458
The Words "I'm Sorry" Can Go A Long Way...
"He never apologized for anything."
"Even stuff that was 100% his fault."
"But my dumba** would have to apologize for everything, even stuff out of my control."- imlovegina
Sorry Taylor Swift GIFGiphyBefore, After, Or During One Wonders...
"He got arrested on our first date."- Sapphyrre
What Were They Trying To Hide?...
"When the person I was seeing would never introduce me to their friends or family."- graces-taylor12
Never Trust A Manipulator
"My gf at the time used the words, while talking about manipulating someone, 'I just always know what to say to make someone feel how I want…' hesitates then looks over to me and says '…but I don’t do that to you because…I care about you too much…'"
"This was pretty late in the relationship’s life, so I think she just barely cared to hide it anymore."
"I was heavily mentally checked out, and accepted this excuse without a second word."
"I did 100% notice it deep inside myself, and I still remember the pang of self hatred."- Terapyn
Manipulate 90 Day Fiance GIF by TLCGiphyWinning Isn't Everything... Or Is It?
"She was such a sore loser."
"Like toss the cards if she was losing at cards or smash and smear all the letters around if she was losing at Scrabble."
"It escalated from there as she would literally corner me in a room and tear into me for something I said."
"I left once as she went to the bathroom, mid-tirade."
"In her pajamas and slippers, she ran down two floors of her apartment's parking garage to stop me."
"Oh, and neither of her own kids would talk to her."
"Her parents and sister didn't speak with her, either."
"But they got the religion and she didn't."
"I just thought I could make it work, everyone has sore points and triggers."
"But I was so relieved when she left."- milescowperthwaite
Read The Room!
"My ex-boyfriend used to tell me how much he wanted to f*ck other people (my sister, my friends, his friends, etc) while we were being intimate."- lightasapetal
Over It Rose GIF by HULUGiphy"Do You Like Scary Movies?"
"First date she told me her favorite movie ever was 'The Exorcist'.”
"Whatever, I love scary movies."
"Soon after, we actually watched a scary movie, she came back from the bathroom wearing a scream mask and holding a kitchen knife because she thought it was funny.'
'I did not, but I was just like ok she’s 'quirky'.”- genekreamer
Patterns...
"The ex-wife had left her two previous partners for someone she had an affair with."
"I didn't think it would happen to me."
"It took 10 years, but it did."- MartyFreeze
"She cheated with me before she broke up with her ex and we got together."
"Imagine my surprised Pikachu face when she was f*cking a bunch of guys behind my back."- Greylings
Surprised Meme GIFGiphyThe Age Old Blame Game...
"Blaming me for things that I had no effect on."
"She got a bad grade on a quiz because I helped her study."
"Blamed me for her dropping her laptop because I was in another room doing my own thing and couldn't hear what she was saying so she had to get up off the couch which led to the dropping of the laptop."
"Blamed me for her not being prepared for a presentation at work because I had a work event instead of 'being there for her' which always meant just sitting there on the couch next to her while she put it together."
"Blamed me for her backing into a pole in a parking lot because I didn't pick her up from work, but I decided we'd meet at a restaurant."
"So many more, nothing was ever her fault."- turkeysandwich1982
It's never wise or fair to prejudge someone.
But if anything about someone causes suspicion, there's absolutely nothing wrong in doing a little investigating.
Possibly saving you a bucket load of trouble down the road.
People Who Gave Up Their Dream For A Stable Job Explain Whether They Regret Their Decision
When I was little, I dreamt about becoming a famous actress who made lots of money, got interviewed by big names in the entertainment industry, and attended red-carpet events.
While I would never say no if I were ever offered a movie role, I know my shyness coupled with my lack of experience means I'll never make a living as an actress. I have a proper adult job, and I focus on working, taking care of my family, and learning useful skills, such as how to cook. Acting is not a part of my daily life.
Now, I know I was never meant to be an actress. I may be able to act, but I'm way too shy to get up on stage. It's not something I'm truly sad about.
However, there are people who have similar dreams and tried to make it happen. Unfortunately, they had to face the truth that they either couldn't achieve their dreams or took their dream as far as it would go, and had to go down a different path.
Many people on Reddit are sharing how they tried to get their dream job, but were forced to give up on it, and what regrets, if any, they have about that,
Curious to find out more, Redditor GeneReddit123 asked:
"Redditors who gave up pursuing their 'dream' to settle for a more secure or comfortable life, how did it turn out and do you regret your decision?"
Some people gave up on their dreams, but found a good life, and rarely, if ever, think about their past dreams.
The Dream Wasn't What I Thought
"My dream was to become a translator for Nintendo, specifically the Zelda franchise. Studied Japanese and lived there for a year, then became a video game translator at a small studio. Afterwards a Localization Project Manager at a bigger Korean company. Worked my way up to maybe, maybe one day be hired by Nintendo. Lost more and more passion for games on the way, heard awful stories about working at Nintendo and slowly realized that this isnt the right job for me after all. Translators are - most of the time - underpaid and the whole thing isn't as romantic as it seems. Decided to do something entirely else, left the gaming and Localization industry and am now a really happy (and well paid) Product Manager for an e-commerce company. I will never go back. Knowing Japanese (well, the bit that is left after not using it for years) is a good party trick still, so no regrets. Was a fun time but it had to end."
– Odango777
"People don't realize that institutions, like corporations, often utilize worker passion as an excuse to mistreat them (pay less, make unsustainable demands). Thus why a story like yours just echoes through this whole thread. For example, it's what the world is doing to a whole generation of frontline healthcare workers rn."
– ishitar
Music vs. Education
"When I was in college, I wasn't the most enthusiastic student. I barely hung onto my grades and spent most of my time partying. I mostly hung out with a buddy of mine who played drums for a thrash punk band that was on the cusp of being something. He taught me how to play and I was surprisingly good at the drums."
"One day, my buddy broke his arm and the band asked me to sub in for him. I played like five shows with them and had a hell of a time doing it. While he was recovering, my buddy wound up moving out of state and the band asked if I wanted to replace him permanently."
"I think about that moment a lot, but wound up changing my major and getting through college. I now work in IT for a large company and think it worked out for the best. In hindsight, the music was pretty much unlistenable and the band went no-where, but there are definitely days when I'm overwhelmed at work and I wonder what could have been. Maybe it's just age at this point, but I don't think I could have kept up with it for long."
– FakePlasticSN
Not Quite Good Enough
"Turned out great, just not right at the moment as I am still job hunting after having to quit my previous job. Still no regrets though."
"I went to college to become a 3D animator. Something I always dreamed about. I was top of the class, constantly won awards for my work. I honestly thought I was going to make it big. Then the final semester started and all the seniors were required to go to a special hiring event where tons of big names would be. I got my portfolio and resume copies ready to go, and spent hours researching the big names and their projects as well as rehearsing lots of practice questions."
"It was devastating. No one would look twice at my stuff. Introduced myself, made some awkward small talk as they were so disinterested, then as I walked away they would immediately put it in the stack with hundreds of other portfolios, and not in the special pile."
"I switched up my game. I started introducing myself with a quick mention that I had a background in programming (I did). Thinking that maybe that would give me an edge. Oh boy did it work. Suddenly I was getting personal business cards, phone numbers and emails, my resume was put on the special pile."
"It was at that moment I realized I went into the wrong field. I was just a tiny insignificant drop in a sea of artists, many of whom were much more talented than I could ever be."
"Finished up my degree and went back to college for a BS in Computer Science. Got my first job right out of college from an internship I did over the summer. The job itself was heaven, and I really enjoyed it. It also helped that I made bank when I was there. Paid off all my school loans within 3 years and had plenty to invest and put into savings."
"While it sucks not having anything right now, I'm hoping to find something soon."
"Side note: The 3D stuff I still do as a hobby. Not nearly as good as I once was, but it is still fun and relaxing."
– -PM_me_your_recipes-
Not Too Surprising
"It was fine, but no one gives a sh*t if you're a professional bassoonist and there really isn't enough paying work."
"I did it professionally for eight years before quitting to raise kids. Now I work in IT. If I had to do it over again, I'd have just gotten a real job and not put so much time into an instrument that I don't like playing."
– RPBN
"You know what the bassoon is? It’s a cry for help!”
– but_uhm
Others do have regrets about not following their dreams, or trying and giving up too soon.
The Band Didn't Make It
"Honestly turned out great. I realised my band wasn’t going to get a record deal after a few years and then after playing for other peoples bands for a while it started to become less fun."
"I got a ‘proper’ job, started working on my career and used my new spare time to start playing rugby again. Now I’ve got a really good job in a sector I enjoy working in, married, kids, nice house all that stuff and I still play rugby on Saturdays (pre pandemic) to keep things a little different as well as keeping in shape."
"I don’t really see it as giving up on my dream. It was just recognizing that it wasn’t going to happen. I’m very fond of that period of my life and having spent quite a few years chasing that particular dream I don’t have any regrets or what-if’s about being in a band."
– jprimus
They Rose Again
"I worked in video games for almost 19 years. I worked for Sega as a tester in college, got a masters degree in education and worked for The Learning Company designing educational games. The educational software market started to collapse."
"I eventually left the industry for other fields but I miss making games for kids."
"I’ve met so many people who grew up playing the games I designed and built. Maybe after my kids are out if the house I’ll try to make games again."
– practicalm
Writing Isn't Just Writing
"Being a successful writer means taking on far more than just writing your book or short story."
"I'm a medical writer for a cancer center and love it, but I always wanted to write other things as well. I spent two years writing the memoir of a friend who served as a helicopter crew chief in Vietnam, including time in special ops running covert missions into Laos and Cambodia. I hoped to publish it, but finding an agent has beaten me down."
"Today you can't be just a good writer; you need to have a strong presence on social media, with a lot of followers on Twitter/Facebook and a popular blog, because agents and publishers expect you to be the marketing engine."
"I'm in my 60s now and just don't have that level of energy anymore. It's not the writing that's hard -- it's the hustle."
– BSB8728
Doctor, Doctor!
"Part of me regretted it, part of me knew I had to."
"I always wanted to be a doctor. No pushy parents or anything like that. I just wanted to fix problems, and medical things seemed like the most interesting problems, things change, get worse/better, and add new problems. My little brother was born and developed seizures and developmental issues. I decided Pediatrics was for me! The same problems/puzzles but with the added intrigue of the patient being unable to tell me what was wrong. Sounds a bit sick, but that's what my brain wanted."
"I didn't get the grades at school, unfortunately, my step dad died, and it messed me up a bit being needed at home with my siblings, and I shifted my focus. I did go to university, did an access course and a biology degree with the aim of then going on to medicine afterward. Sadly, I got two rejections for med school (on my birthday no less), and I pissed away the rest of my final year, because...what was the point anymore??"–
"I then met a boy (now husband), and needed to get a job. Any job. Please just give me a job. Countless applications were ignored or rejected. I felt worse than useless. I finally landed a job at a call centre. Hated every minute of it. But bills got paid, a wedding and honeymoon have been paid for, and we bought our house..."
"But. In 2019 I knew I was turning thirty soon and knew this wasn't what I wanted, even if it was what I needed."
"I enrolled at a local college on an access course and last year I passed with distinction. I applied to a few university courses, and I had two successful interviews. I quit my sucky job on new year's after nearly 6 years of hating it. And in two weeks I start my course to become a nurse."
"Plans change, needs must. But I'm hoping its worked out..."
– Jynxiii
The Music Still Moves Me
"TLDR: I went from being a pro musician, signed to a label to working IT Security. I make great money but I'm kinda miserable."
"I go back and forth. Mostly regret. Covid has given me a strange new perspective on what is and isn't worth pursuing in life."
"I was a former professional musician in my late teens to mid twenties. Got the degree, started a band, worked our butta off and got signed to a label that later became notorious for ripping bands off. (Name rhymes with Prick Story Bread Chords)"
"I toured the country, played in front of thousands of people, recorded a couple of kick-@ss albums and played gigs several days a week for nearly a decade of my life."
"Problem was, that entire time: I didn't make a nickel. I was broke ALL the time. I didn't officially move out of my parent's house completely until I was 24. I had apartments and roommate situations, sure, but for many years I had to have my safety net of my Mom and Step Dad, which is embarrassing."
"I remember the day I decided to quit the band I was in. We drove 12+ hours to Atlanta for a music festival, only to be told on arrival that we were bumped from the bill. Not only that, but the promoter decided to compensate us with a measly $100 for our inconvenience. $100 split among five dudes. It wasn't worth the hard work anymore, living in a van and eating gas station food and military rations to survive. I quit the band not long after."
"Long story short, I transitioned into IT."
"I make six figures, own a house, have a wife and a top of the line Nissan Armada Platinum in my driveway and frankly, I couldn't be more miserable if I tried."
""Fx this!""
"What's the status on this situation?"
"Sorry you're on your honeymoon, but software just went down and we need your help"
"You aren't professional enough. You need to work on your communication."
"Good job getting all of your work done without ever needing help. You're super good at your job, but it isn't quite enough for us. You need to be perfect."
"You did 99% of your job perfectly but didn't send an email fast enough. You're useless."
"Sorry... got lost in the rant but my point stands. I'm half tempted to move to Vegas and work as a hired gun in a casino band. Those a-holes make money hand over fist playing covers from the 80s."
Deleted User
A few people dreamt about having a good job or a lovely family, and have achieved those goals.
There's No Such Thing As A Dream Job
"I wish I'd realised sooner that work is just work for me, there is no dream job. I just want something I'm good at with decent pay and no stress, think I've found it."
– SlightlyIncandescent
"Same. I think some adults really need to stop pressuring children to find their ultimate passion and translate it into their future career. That line of thinking led to a lot of anguish in college, and some adult depression. I still kinda feel like I’m adrift in the ocean. We need more talk about how work is sometimes just work, and that’s OKAY. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure."
– YeOldeOrc
"The biggest scam ever to exist is making you feel like your dream is a job"
– DiaryoftheOriginator
A Good Life Is The Dream
"When I was younger my dad told me to find a job I don’t hate that allows me to live comfortably financially and provides a good work/life balance, because no matter how much you love your job to start, it’s still work. So that’s what I did. The best advice I’ve ever recorded honestly. I put in the hours and fully focus on work when I’m there, then I leave it at the door."
– ashboify
"Right? The dream is to be able support myself, not completely hate my job, and be able to take vacation like, once a year."
– Sun_on_my_shoulders
"Yup. I stopped really giving a damn about two years ago- now it doesn't really matter what I end up doing, as long as I can support myself and my cat and I don't outright hate my job."
– Deleted User
Ultimately though, most people were able to achieve a different dream and are happy, even if they miss their old dreams a little bit.
Making Movies...Sort Of
"A little bit. I bounced around the lower levels of the film industry, earning nothing, earning $5 a day, earning $8.20 an hour. I really enjoyed most jobs, got some great stories. But after 10+ years of missed opportunities, missing out on jobs to those more connected, of not having enough to do (I could blame the early days of digital but I just didn't go hard enough), it was time. My 30's were approaching, I had less than 5 figures in the bank despite still living at home and having next to no expenses, my romantic life consisted of admiring the actresses from afar and being an @ss to anyone who got close."
"I switched to teaching and I mostly enjoy the work. I still tap into my skills occasionally, I make movies with my classes, last year made a whole bunch during remote teaching. I actually had the self-esteem (and cash) to start dating and am now engaged to a girl I don't deserve and have been trying to marry for months."
"I don't regret it, but I do miss it."
– goodie23
We can't always achieve our dreams, but sometimes there's something even better waiting for us!
Let’s face it: kids do stupid things. We’re all guilty of it.
I did a lot of stupid things as a child. Once, I drank kerosene out of a kerosene lamp, presumably to see what would happen (hint: what happened involved the emergency room).
Sometimes, as kids, we do something that’s more than stupid; it’s really wrong and f*cked up. Those are the things that people regret doing when they look back on it.
Plenty of Redditors came name the things they did as children that they now regret, and they’re more than happy to share.
It all started when Redditor blazed_toucan asked:
“What f*cked up thing did you do as a kid?”
Unfaithful
"In 7th grade my best friend asked me if I would go and ask the boy she liked if he liked her and if he would go out with her."
"I went over and asked him if he liked her, he said no, then I asked if he liked me, he said yes, and then I asked him to be my boyfriend, he said yes."
"Then I went right back to my friend and told her that he didn't like her, but that he liked me and was now my boyfriend."
"I don't know why I did that."
– Deleted User
"I did a similar thing. My friend had a boyfriend. So I thought it was cool to like him even if I didn’t. I asked him whenever he was done being her boyfriend if he’d want to be mine. He dumped her and started “dating” me. We were in the 3rd grade. I never understood why she was mad at me. I was such an idiot."
– borntodyechaney
Prank Gone Wrong
"I thought it would be a great practical joke to bury a corn holder, small handle with two sharp prongs to hold corn on the cob, pointy side up in my yard and wait for someone to step on it. Of course, being a kid after all, I lost interest after a time and forgot. Sometime later in the summer, while walking bare foot, yes, I stepped on it. F*ck that hurt. Learned a valuable lesson about practical jokes."
– phil8248
Fire!
"When I was 11, my friend and I soaked a tennis ball in gasoline and lit it on fire and with gloves on tossed it around with my friend. Just cause."
"Ended up throwing it to him in an arc and he missed and it slid down his chest, leaving a on fire gasoline trail on his shirt. Had 1st degree burns and we really got in trouble for that one."
– TriscuitCracker
Absolute Disgust
"Gave my little brother ex-lax and told him it was chocolate when we were under 10. I knew it would give him diarrhea, but I didn’t know how badly. It was f*cked up."
– pettybage
"So I went to Philmont (a huge ranch in New Mexico owned by the Boy Scouts where you can do lots of hiking) this past summer. They have very strict bear policies, meant to prevent any kind of negative encounter with a bear. Ie, don't try to feed the bears, clean up your trash, hang your bear bags correctly. If you don't follow these rules, they will send you home, as a bear that knows it can find food around humans is a danger to both the bear and the humans."
"We were talking with some of the staff one day about bears and stuff, and one of them told us about an incident involving ex-lax. Now they recommend you bring something like ex-lax with you in the first aid kit, since it's fairly common for scouts to get constipated. The diet the feed you is probably very different from what you'd eat at home."
"Anyway, there was a troop a number of years back that had brought way more ex-lax than they needed to. So what did they do with it? Instead of leaving it in the locker at base camp, they made a "pie" out of it on like the third day on the trail. There had been a bear in the area, and they knew that, so they left the "pie" out to try to lure the bear in so they could see it. The adults in the troop were completely on board with the idea, too."
"Of course, with its super strong sense of smell, the bear found it. Unfortunately, the bear decided it liked the "pie" and followed them for the next few days, sh*tting runny diarrhea the entire time. Bear poop smells bad to begin with, but bear diarrhea is even worse. Finally, after like three or four days following them, the bear tore into everyone's backpacks overnight, destroying everything."
"After coming clean to staff about what happened, they got kicked off the trail, Philmont placed a permanent ban on their troop (their troop could never go to Philmont again), Philmont had to call in the State game wardens to kill the bear, because it was too comfortable around people, and the troop leaders were charged with bear baiting, which is a felony. So all in all, not a good day for anyone involved."
– a_lonely_trash_bag
The Dangers Of Book Fairs
"I tried to poison my mom's boyfriend. I was probably around 11. I had one of those science kits from the Scholastic book fair. I took the citric acid and dumped the whole container into his drink. He sipped it and just said, "this tastes like sh*t" and dumped it out lol"
– Zipperpants
"This made me laugh. Imagine being so happy you're going to kill the person you hate, just to watch them pour out your hard work and planning."
– Spacemage
That Backfired Terribly!
"Dropped a rope out of my second story window, tied it to a plastic tricycle, asked my neighbor if he wanted to go for a ride, and lifted him up to the window with the help of my brother and sister. Then we dropped him, and caught the rope before he hit the ground. It was stupid, but none of us had parents responsible enough to watch us or teach us anything."
– screwylouidooey
"Did he get hurt??"
– theshammy123
"Nope. Luckily we managed to catch the rope in time. We used to attempt to parachute off the roof of an abandoned garage with trash bags too. I was hospitalized trying to ride a bicycle on a downhill road in the middle of winter once as well."
"My siblings and I were put in foster care shortly after the window incident."
– screwylouidooey
Watch What You Drink
"I made my brother and his friends a jug of kool-aid with water from the toilet"
– basillemonaid
"Some friends drank some spilled cola out of the ground because they believed it would gave them superpowers. Long story short, they did not get superpowers."
– Ohmnonymous
This Is Kind Of Sweet
"I helped a Jewish kid steal a Christmas tree. He complained his family never had a Christmas tree"
– Redkachowski
"I feel like this could be the plot of a movie."
– birdwalk
Ouch, Ouch, Ouch!
"My cousin and I were like 7ish or so and playing upstairs in a room by ourselves. My aunt left her sewing machine in there ready to go. We were fascinated by how fast the needle moved up and down when we stepped on the foot pedal. Then we had the idea to see who could get their finger out of the way before the needle started moving. He went. Safe. I went. Safe. He went. Blood shot out and screaming commenced."
– DaShMa_
The Value Was Lost On Them
"When I was eight, I stole my fathers nickel collection and spent it on penny candy"
– Zerotits
"Oh damn, this made me remember something. When I was little, I took my dad's stamp collection, thinking they were stickers, and placed them all over the house; doors, wardrobes, walls, drawers. My dad was pissed."
– Hobbit-guy
"At least you got something for it. When I was a kid I did the same but with my mom's small collection of Sacagawea Dollar coins. Traded them to a kid in my neighborhood for Pokemon cards."
– TaurineLine719
Wonder How Well That Went Over
"Went to the cinema dressed as a ninja for attention"
– aloiuym97
"How were you supposed to get attention if nobody could see you?"
– Daafda
Talk About FOMO
"My parents used to my peel apples because kids can have trouble swallowing and chewing the skin. I was upset I wasn’t allowed it and when they weren’t looking I took the skin out of the garbage and ate it."
– Aislinn19
"You showed them!"
– em_square_root_-1_ly
Revenge Of The Bullied
"When I was in first grade a girl wouldn’t let me in her club. So the next morning our teacher took away her sunglasses because she was wearing them during class. During recess I snuck into the classroom and placed the sunglasses in the girl’s desk. Then I told the teacher when we got back that I saw her take her sunglasses back during recess."
"My teacher believed me, the girl denied it. The teacher pushed down her desk and the sunglasses were there. She got in trouble for not only stealing but for lying about it. No one ever found out it was me all along."
"And that is just one story of why I am going to hell!"
– Deleted User
"There was a kid name Jeff that was a real a**hole in 5th grade and I went to the bathroom and wrote"
""F*ck" -Jeff"
"On the bathroom door and a grown up actually fell for it or didn't give a sh*t because Jeff was a d*ck either way he went down for it"
– heanbangerfacerip2
I Was Just Making A Promise!
"My sister told me flipping the middle finger was "swearing at God" when I was around 5, and I thought she meant "swearing TO God", as in it's something you're supposed to do when you made promises. My a** was walking around church with my middle finger up till some kind older teenager finally gently told me to put it away."
– TserTaAbmet
I can’t stop laughing at that last one!
Do you have any stories to share? Let us know in the comments below.
The Biggest Red Flags People Ever Ignored That Blew Up In Their Faces
We like to give people the benefit of the doubt, right?
As a result, we sometimes might choose to ignore things about certain people which others might consider a "red flag".
Be it the way they treated others, an issue of hygiene or cleanliness, or a financial or monetary situation, we might like to tell ourselves that this was probably a one-off situation, and they'll learn from their mistakes.
Sadly, more often than not, our concerns prove to be more than well-founded.
Which we often discover all too late, sometimes to utterly disastrous or humiliating consequences.
"What’s the biggest red flag you ignored?"
Distorted Monogamy
"He hadn't actually told his ex they were broken up, just that they needed to 'take a break'."
"I should have taken a break too at that point."-bowlbettertalk
Always Be Honest, No Matter How Much It Hurts
'The biggest red flag I ignored was the one I was waving in my own face every time I chose to lie about or omit something to avoid hurting my wife’s feelings or to avoid an argument instead of just being transparent and forthcoming and figuring out our problems."
"Happy spouse happy life is a big fat lie people."
"You’re going to hurt your best friend real bad if you keep it up."- SilentCondor
Your Own Opinion Matters More Than Anyone Elses
"His friends had to convince me to stay with him after I was hospitalized for 3 days, miscarriage that turned into an hemorrhage, and he didn’t visit once."- sad_ducky_duck
The Odds Were Not In His Favor
"When my now, thankfully, ex-boyfriend told me his psychologist was concerned about him dating but he thought we would 'beat the odds' and 'be a success story'."- necropant
psychiatrist psychoanalyst GIFGiphyWell, Something Certainly Went Up In Flames...
"He showed up with one black garbage bag of his belongings, but said it was cause his place burnt down."
"Our place must have burnt down as well, cause he left with a black garbage bag of his belongings, a little over a year later!"- qweerbisam
Lies, Lies Lies!
"Sometimes the drama she had with other people didn't make sense.'
"Like I'd ask 'what did they say?' and she would generalize in a vague way."
"One time I doubled down and asked 'literally what exact words were said' and she started crying because she was so upset."
"Turns out she invented drama, including faking phone calls, emails, text messages."
"She couldn't give me exact words because there were no exact words."
"She was just a f*cking sociopath."- EastSideTilly
It Takes Two
"When conversations and meet-ups are always initiated by you and never by them."
"One sided relationships suck."- h1d1nn
How I Met Your Mother Drink GIF by LaffGiphyNo One Deserves To Be Sloppy Seconds
"Meeting me late evening/at night mostly in the car driving around or places like Mcdonalds and subway."
"I thought he is just busy, apparently he just didn't want anybody to see us together as he was meeting someone else who was better looking in 'appropriate' hours and places."
"After that I learned to ignore everyone who proposes first dates at 10.30. 'driving around and hanging out'."- german1sta
One Only Hopes They Got That In Writing
"When they promised me 'transferable skills' that would 'pay off in the workforce'."- lemontreelemur
No! No! No!
“'People always ask why I’m dating you because of how you look'."
"He broke me down so bad I’m still picking myself back up years later."- itstimetobeatbpd
Oh No Reaction GIF by Ka-powGiphyAs Jane Austen taught us in Pride and Prejudice, first impressions can often be misleading.
There is, however, a sizable difference between someone being grumpy at a country ball, and someone who builds themselves up by taking you down.
As a result, it's always wise to trust our instincts, and allow ourselves to be proven wrong, rather than endlessly waiting to be proven right until it's too late.
The Biggest Regrets Dying Patients Shared According To Medical Professionals
The only thing that is possibly more difficult than losing a loved one is being with them in their final days.
Or worse yet, their final moments.
When it's no longer a question of if but when.
No matter their age, or cause of death, when people know that the end is near, they will become reflective of their life and all they've accomplished.
And sadly, all the things they wish they'd done... or hadn't done.
The things they never got a chance to do or wished they'd never said.
Something that health care workers and home aids find themselves equally moved by as the family sitting vigil.
Redditor delete_my_comment was curious to hear the most heartbreaking confessions hospital and healthcare workers heard from their dying patients, leading them to ask:
"Hospital workers, what regrets do you hear from dying patients?"
Some People Are Just Ready To Go.
"Some people just want you to let them go."
"I had a man with terminal cancer break down crying after his daughters left the room because they wanted him to 'keep fighting' and he just wanted to rest and pass peacefully."
"Learn when to let go."- SheWolf04
When You're Truly Alone
"He was one of my first patients as a nursing student, named Frank."
"He was 92."
"After knowing him a few days, he disclosed to me his regret was outliving everyone he loved."
"That he and his wife hadn’t had kids, and he was 'all that was left' and that he wanted to see his wife again."
"I wasn’t sure how to respond , so I just listened."
"It made me realize how living so long isn’t great if everyone you love is gone."
'He passed away later that week, and while I distinctly recall some of my classmates being upset, I felt relief for him."
"I knew he was where he wanted to be."
"I’ve had many patients since, but you tend to remember your first ones."
"Other than that, ditto what everyone’s saying, more time with family/loved ones, wish they wasted less time with work or other bullsh*t, etc."- Reiiran
Regret Comes In Many Forms
"I’m a hospice social worker, so I have the honor of getting to listen to peoples’ life stories, including favorite memories and regrets."
"Most regrets center around what they didn’t get to do, like never traveling to Italy when their family was originally from Naples."
"Some regret not getting specific education, wanting to go to college but never doing it."
"Some regret their choice in partner, especially when alcohol/drug abuse was involved, or cheating."
"Many express a sadness that looks a lot like regret if they are estranged from family."
"And some have anticipatory grief from knowing they will miss a milestone, like the birth of a grandchild."
"Some regret not taking better care of their health, people with COPD who regret ever having a cigarette."
"In general life is long and time smooths some of the rough edges, so people tend to focus on the good."- Notacoldnight
Everlasting Love
"I worked in long term care for 12 years."
"I remember a married couple that shared a room."
"She had cancer and kidney failure."
"I was helping her eat lunch one day with her husband sitting there with us."
"She looked like death but her husband looked at her then at me and said have you ever seen a more beautiful woman?"
"I had to leave and go to the bathroom and cry."
"I cried for days every time I thought of what he said."
"I thought I would never know what it was like to be loved like that."
"I had been divorced for years."
"I couldn’t even tell the story without tearing up."
"Footnote, I was divorced 23 years when I met Rod."
"Been together for 11 years."
"I know that love now. It’s never too late."- Moonpixy
Past Decisions Come Back To Haunt You
"He wished he had been a better father to his daughter."
"He wished they had reconnected."
"His dementia prevented him from remembering they had reconnected years before and that she visited often."
"I wish I could have made him aware that he had accomplished his last wish."
"But he died not really understanding that."- shesagdb
The Life He Never Got To Live
"I worked as an oncology nurse right out of nursing school."
"I was barely 21 years old."
"Had a patient about my age who was dying of lung cancer."
"A few hours before he died I sat with him and he was telling me how much he wished that he would have had more time-to maybe fall in love, marry, have kids."
"He was so young."
"He asked me to call his parents and he died shortly after they arrived."
"It was awful."
"His regrets were more about the life not lived."
"Many older patients had some interesting life stories and most wanted to tell them before they died."
"Most were at peace with the life they lived."
"Many regretted working so much and not spending enough time with family."- MagiBee218
Life is precious and short.
Chances are, none of us will accomplish everything we hope to in life.
So the best we can do is live to the fullest, and enjoy each waking moment.
And never take for granted the people we love and who love us.