Redditor RedditPenguin02 wanted to make a list of the best inquiries to make when starting a relationship, so they asked:
"What is a good question to ask before you start dating someone?"
From what I've learned in my past, always ask... "Are you into Buffy the Vampire Slayer? The TV show."
If it's a no, then it's a dealbreaker.
I Do
Shocked Schitts Creek GIF by CBCGiphy"Are you married?"
wrenchmonkey135
"I would ask that. If they said no, the next question was 'Would your wife agree?'"
"If they laughed, they were telling the truth. If they got indignant and pissed off that I thought they were lying…they were married."
"Worked every time."
Squibit314
We Lived!
"Do you clap when the plane lands?"
dont_u_know
"I swear people used to do this all the time when I was a kid (early 2000’s), and I don’t think I’ve heard anyone do it in 5+ years. I guess 9/11 really made people afraid of flying for about 10 years and then most folks decided they didn’t need to applaud when the plane landed safely?"
jmims98
Family Planning
"Do you want kids in the future? If one person wants kids and the other wants to stay child-free, then they are not compatible. And it is better to try dating someone else."
GoodAlicia
"It confuses me whenever some couples who disagree on this end up in a conundrum because one expected the other to change their mind. This is something I bring up early cause I see no future with someone who wants kids when I do not."
GoodAlicia
"You should always put childfree on your dating profile. It's not a small thing. Either you agree on it or not. If I had to date, I would put childfree on my profile too."
GoodAlicia
Carb it on...
"Do you like bread? That is the extent of my flirting skills."
HumpieDouglas
"Being German, bread is like a frickin' cultural phenomenon here, we have around 300 kinds of bread, there's a bread museum, every time I go on vacation I'm like yeah it's nice here but the bread ain't it yall, never as good as home lol. So yeah, valid question and the only answer to this is an enthusiastic yes."
Nayeliq1
Room Temperature
Frosty The Snowman Winter GIF by filmeditorGiphy"What temperature do you set the thermostat to throughout the year?"
OneFingerIn
"Haha this one always gets me as someone who needs low temps - you can always put on more clothes, I can't peel my skin off to get cooler."
djdante
The thermostat is a dealbreaker for me.
It's gonna be 60. Love it or move on.
Discovery
Blown Away Wow GIF by AminéGiphy"When was the last time you changed your mind about something?
"Opens a window to how they think."
youcantkillanidea
"If that was really early on in the dating I’d think it was a bit of a head-f**k question. I’d probably find that question a red flag, tone dependent, although I agree with the sentiment."
LivestockMarc
Personal Time
"Aside from major differences about finances, kids, politics, or religion, a big one is; What are your hobbies? If they don’t really have any, you may be the next hobby, which isn’t going to work unless you’ve got that kind of time. If the hobbies are time-consuming ones generally done with a SO."
"But you have no interest in them, that could be an issue as well. If only one of you likes camping, wanted to spend vacation lounging instead of exploring, didn’t like sports, etc either that partner is annoyed or the other feels like they don’t get to enjoy what they love."
Githard
Past Issues
"Ask them about their exes. If they think every single one of them is an a**hole... they are likely the real a**hole."
CantTakeMeSeriously
"I have mixed feelings about that - I've been in three previous relationships and all three were emotionally abusive towards me (one wasn't nearly as bad as the other two, though) in various ways. I know this is a common sentiment and it always makes me afraid that people won't believe me or something.
"I mean, I realize in your comment you said 'likely' and not '100% sure' and there's plenty of room for nuance."
phiore
Values
"I would try to take care of any dealbreakers. If I find out that she has different political values than I do, it's not going to work out in the long run, so I wouldn't bother. Same thing with other factors (religion, financial values, etc.). I would also ask how much cuddling she likes to engage in, as I prefer a lot."
SkullKrusher9000
Essentials
Tell Me More To Do List GIF by Disney ChannelGiphy"When I was dating my three essential questions were always kids, sex, and money. If you're not on the same wavelength for any of those three things, just don't even try."
KhaosElement
TRUTH PLEASE!!
"So, how much personal debt do you have?"
"Source: the guy who dated a woman with huge debts and was asked to pay for everything and then some".
"After that, I'd go with, 'Have you ever been diagnosed with borderline, narcissistic, or histrionic personality disorders?"
extracensorypower
The questions are basic.
Just ask for the truth.
Do you have any good Qs to add to the queue? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor chickenoodlesoupp wanted to hear about some of the times we've been asked something that left us a bit uneasy.
So they asked:
"What’s the most uncomfortable question you can ask someone?"
I've been asked so many stupid things I can't even begin to remember.
Siblings
Parks And Recreation Nbc GIF by HULUGiphy"Do you have a sister by chance?"
umpalumpamonkey
"This is made worse if the asking person is male and the receiving person is female and both are single."
BlandJars
Hold Me
"Where’s my hug?"
Lalalalanay
"Lol this gives me some flashbacks. After work on a Friday I was saying goodbye to ones of my friends and a gave her a hug. Here comes Brett 'Hey, where's my hug?' So I give him the biggest bear hug, the kind that traps their arms at their sides, and picked him up off the ground."
"There's your hug Brett. My friend said he didn't ask much after that, but you bet your b*lls I'd tell Brett 'Hey Brett, I got your hug right here buddy' with outstretched arms. He would give me an uncomfortable look like ew gross. Yeah Brett, that's how you are making everyone feel."
myusernamebarelyfits
Findings
"Hey, can we have a talk about your search history?"
SumoSamurottorSSPBCC
"For my generation that is 'Can we have a talk about what I found under your bed?'"
"I'm an adult now tho so I leave porn mags on the coffee table. Nothing funnier than watching a guest look through the magazines in your living room while you serve coffee only to find a Hustlers in the middle of the pile and not know what to say as you sit and stare at them."
P00PY-PANTS
Don't Ask
"Why don't you have any children? I was a chronic miscarryier. My son is a super duper miracle."
kcooper1214
"Came here to say the same thing. I have one child, during the labor they both were very close to dying. The doc said if she gets pregnant again she will lose the child and possible die in the process."
"I ended up getting a vasectomy very shortly after. We’re incredibly grateful and happy with our little family; but without fail, we always get the same question: 'So when you getting a little brother or sister?' I don’t mind as much when people ask me or my wife, but ask my son? Why?"
Danfu777
Ouch
Will Smith Reaction GIF by Red Table TalkGiphy“How come I wasn’t invited?”
Real_sg4bomb
"I was once invited to a party... at the end of which the hostess asked me 'How do you keep finding out about these?'"
"That freaking stung. Never talked to them again."
Well, that is just a step above cruel.
Teeth Getting Up GIF by Paddington BearSpeak!
"'Why are you so quiet?'"
spamcritic
"This makes my blood boil. I’m a fairly quiet person in social settings and have received this question a few times. It makes you AND the people around you feel awkward. Like... let people be quiet if they want to be. Not everyone is a social butterfly!"
justaregularderp
Loathing
"Why does everyone hate you so much?"
"I hate this one so much. I lived in a small town so everybody knew everybody. High school was rough, I didn't know how to stick up for myself and soon became the scape goat for bullies and rumors."
"Once our Sr. Year people matured a little and started being nicer to me. I made a lot of friends suddenly and all of them would ask 'Why does everybody hate you, you're not like they say.' It was awkward because most of those people were the ones contributing to the rumors/bullying."
PlanBaccount0987
Shots
"If you come in the back office with me right now, just you and me, are you gonna be cool about it, or be a snitch? Asked by my old boss at a grocery store, he just was offering me shots of fireball because it was almost closing time on New Years Eve, but that phrasing."
pdxblazer
"White male privilege here, but that wouldn't make me uncomfortable at all. Like, I'm game, if we get back there and it is something super sketch, I'll just dip out."
TeleKenetek
Let's Chat
Scrolling Michelle Obama GIF by ObamaGiphy"Hey we need to talk. This is the worst, especially over text."
SubnautGames
"My boss texted me the other day, 'Call me.' My blood turned to ice. Of course it ended up being some inconsequential thing he had a question about."
coffeeordeath85
Sometimes silence is best.
Do you have similar things to add? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor TWDTourist69 wanted all the ladies to fess up with their burning questions.
"Women of Reddit, what question about men do you wish to be answered?"
I've always wondered what the ladies want to know.
Stay Standing
Schitts Creek Pain GIF by CBCGiphy"How often do you guys accidentally sit on your testicles? I can't help but think it'd be happening to me all the time if I had them."
sophia1185
"Depending on the size of your testicles/thighs, but I personally never sit on them. I guess they're just not loose enough to get underneath my legs, which I'm very glad about."
Poekemoes
Anatomy
"How do you pee if you have an erection? Or is that not an option? Is it painful?"
GuavaMelon
"It's h*rd (pun not intended)! Depends how erect the penis is. Full mast = almost impossible, without rotating 90 degrees. Bound to make a mess. Flow is very low and it'll take forever to finish. Half-Mast: Doable, not as comfortable as normal, but generally fine."
Powercutters
Sit Here
"Do you guys actually like when a girl sits on your lap?"
OkCheesecake2811
"Easy yes as long as she is light enough to not cause legs to cramp. If not, still yes but she needs to be aware that we will NEVER say anything and instead suffer in silence but she should either shift around a bit to allow us to adjust or just do a quick tease then change positions."
Dakkon_B
Hold Me
"How normal is it for you to hug your best friends?"
a_living_being_
"If we haven't seen each other for a while, sure. most of the time it's more like a pat on the back coupled with a handshake, if that counts."
astroduck-maurice
"Bro hug. Time of embrace is dependent on three (3) factors..."
"a) Strength of bond (Super Bro / Bro)..."
"b) Length of time between seeing each other..."
"c) Comfortability of other friend to accept said warm embrace..."
"If it's been a few weeks since I've seen my super secure super bro he's getting a solid 3 seconds."
popalock85
Hold Me
love sexy GIFGiphy"Do you think about our boobs while hugging us?"
Separate-Piano-3033
"Not all the time, if we're interested in you then yes."
lilredx
Can we just hold one another? Make it easy.
Fried
"Do men actually like thighs?"
kikuu12
"There is entire TV series and books devoted SOLELY to thighs. Heck there is a RELIGION devoted to thighs. Yes, Yes we do."
Dakkon_B
Wet Parts
"Do your family jewels ever sweat like our boobs do?"
gay_idiot53
Absolutely. In fact, that is mostly the reason you will see us 'adjust' so much or spread our legs. That crap will glue themselves to your thigh and nothing short of manual adjustment will remove them."
Dakkon_B
"God yes. Testicle hygiene is extremely important. Don't put up with a guy who doesn't regularly wash them."
noughtagroos
Control
"Do you find the narrative of men not being able to control themselves when it comes to sex annoying and/or offensive?"
coolname-
"You can definitely control it, don’t let any man say otherwise. It’s disappointing rather than annoying or offensive because bad men have used it as an excuse so much that there are people who believe it."
AwesomeWaiter
"Hate it when I’m movies there is this scene where she kisses him and he accepts, but has a partner and says he’s a man he couldn’t control himself. Totally bs yes you’re horny but that’s only a slight inconvenience."
DescriptionMain3214
Take This
"I often want to get my hubby a 'small appreciation something' that would be the equivalent to flowers, chocolate, etc for us. What is a similar-intended gift that would make you smile?"
NotoriousM0N
"Initiate some token of affection. Women vastly underestimate the impact of something as simple as a hand on the back, or a 10 second shoulder massage. We don't need things - We can buy our own sh*t. We can't buy genuine affection, appreciation, or the feeling of being needed or depended on."
Necro138
The Great Divide
Art Peeing GIF by badblueprintsGiphy"When using a urinal - do you want a small divider panel or is it pointless?"
"Men I've polled give mixed responses."
"Signed - Female architect."
MzFrazzle
"Men who don't care about a divider, won't care that is there. Men who prefer to have it, would curse at the architect or the builder for cheapening out on a sad sheet of metal that does a lot of peace of mind."
bad_mech
Stamina
"Why is it that sometimes you can go for one round, but then other times you can go four rounds back to back?"
ikarleighh
"Sex drive and stamina, can vary day to day.:
lilredx
"Like everything in life, why can you eat alot and sometimes barely finish your plate, why can you go intense in the gym and sometimes barely be able to finish your reps, etc."
speckhuggarn
Self Care
"What do you guys do for self care. Like if you just need some time to yourself, or if you treat yourself to something special."
pamela9792
"Not enough, it's the reason male mental health is in such crisis."
"We do have hobbies like gaming/sports/projects but I find those more to be escapism than actual self care to address our feelings/needs and reflect on them."
davetherooster
Rosetta Stone
"I just want to understand what that secret, unspoken language you all have with each other is."
"It sometimes seems to me that just a single look or a nod at a guy you've never said a word to, is years of conversations?"
ally-sha
"The up nod is for the homies, the down nod is for fellow men. Eyes go wide and stare straight at you means 'wtf is happening?' but eyes go wide then dart in a different direction means “'ollow my eye point to see a grade-A booty'”.
tgrote555
Temp Control
"How are you never cold?? My guy friends/male relatives are always lounging around with their shirts off. I’d be freezing my a** off if I did that."
Geodudette2014
"(Some scientific explanation from the web) Partly this is because, for a given bodyweight, women tend to have less muscle tissue to generate heat."
"But the hormone oestrogen also has a big impact because it has the side effect of thickening the blood slightly. This reduces blood flow to the tiny capillaries supplying the extremities."
"A 1998 study at the University of Utah found that this can mean women have hands, feet and ears that are 3°C colder than a man’s."
"(Personal experience) Often we just don't care about being cold or we act like we're not freezing to portray ourselves as 'strong' or 'manly.'"
Noschu1302
Token of affection
"Do you feel emasculated when a woman performs a typically male-assigned gender role? (ie. buys you flowers, opens the door for you, proposes to you)"
still_on_a_whisper
"Dude, if my SO would buy me flowers, I would be over the moon. That’s deeply romantic to me."
Ok-Lobster-Username
"My partner makes more than I do and supports us financially. While I still have a 9-5, I do almost all of the child raising stuff such as cooking meals, bedtime, etc. The roles are reversed in our case. I love it. I absolutely adore having a strong, powerful woman in my life. But it takes a secure and confident man to be able to do that. You gotta fully let go of societal expectations."
First Move
"Is it actually attractive for a woman to make the first move? I've been called weird or trying too hard because I try to initiate a conversation."
Suspicious_Opinions
"It’s usually really awkward for a guy to think of how to start a conversation with a girl. If you like a guy and he’s been wondering if you like him, then yeah it’s a pretty attractive trait that most guys like."
adsxz6_has_adhd
Men are weird. What did you learn ladies?
Any questions you'd like to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
Reddit user Spunkybluepuppy asked:
"What’s something you wish you could ask trans people without any judgement?"
Curiosity isn't a good enough reason to treat a random stranger like a science experiment - but there are plenty of people willing to talk openly about their experiences - and they're the real heros of this thread.
Stopping Cycles
period yes GIF by U by Kotex BrandGiphy"Do periods go away when you start T? Is there a way to get rid of them without surgery?"
- Human_Indeed_
"For some folks, yes, for some folks no."
"Some IUDs can stop periods, like mirena, or for some taking birth control without the sugar pill week can stop periods."
"For transmasculine folks The most reliable way to get rid of periods is by having a full hysterectomy with oophorectomy , which also helps reduce the amount of estrogen in the body."
- TananaramaRex
"My period stopped after two months on T. My friends' stopped after he had been on T a bit longer, not certain of the exact number. But both of us had a last period that was a real b*tch. Worst cramps ever! I'm glad I'm done with it now! 😂"
- spacedustyy
"Yes, my cycle ended about 6 months into T."
- bananaflavored2
Size
"Do you get to choose a size?"
- AlexArtsHere
"For trans guys, it depends on how much skin they can safely graft, I think. But after the maximum is established, yep."
- gayshouldbecanon
"NB transmasc here, MtF wife So for masculine bottom surgery:"
"It really depends on a lot of things. First HRT will grow your clitorus, this averages 1-4cm of growth, some surgeons require either a certain amount of time on HRT/ certain amount of tissue. So from here there are 2 commonly surgical options, each have their own pros and cons and have different methods of being done : 1- metoidioplasty, sometimes referred to as a Meta 2- Phalloplasty sometimes called a phallo. Either can have urethral lengthening, some surgeons will require one depending on the surgery. An issue with urethral lengthening is that the urethra can become blocked/collapse which is obviously no fun. Scrotoplastys are also common to also have done, usually that's done in 2 surgeries where they create the scrotum and then add testicle implants later."
"For a meta what is happening is the ligaments that hold the clitoris to the body get cut and released from the pubis, giving you more shaft. 4-6cm is average length. It will basically look like a small penis. Benefit of it is it can get erect without further surgery. You will likely have more sensation compared to a phalloplasty. You also don't have a giant penis 24/7. Depending on length you may or may not have issues standing to pee."
"For a phallo there's usually multiple stages to the surgery. If you have a meta you can still get a phallo in the future but not vice-versa. So you'll have a donor site, either your arm or you thigh is pretty common, you'll get some say in length but it really depends on how much tissue they can use and the goal is generally average size. They cannot become erect on their own. You have to get an implant for that which is an extra surgery and more money on top of the money you've already spent to get a phallo. Because the tissue is donor tissue taken from other parts you won't have as much sensation if any. Some say they never get sensation to the shaft, some do get some sensation to the shaft. The lack of sensation can actually be problematic during healing because you can't feel if you accidentally bump your penis into something. And with a phallo it will always be full length as it can't deflate like a cis-penis would."
"For transfeminine bottom surgery: So there are a few different ways to make a neovagina. A common way is by taking the penile tissue and inverting it, so the length here varies based on how much tissue. Another procedure uses rectal tissue, the benefit here is that is has some self lubricating capabilities, unlike with penile inversion. Though due to risk factors it's less commonly done. Another surgery involves taking peritoneal tissue from the abdomen to create the vagina. This is a newer surgery for transgender women even though it's a surgery that has been used on cis-women for decades. It also has the benefits of self lubrication and having a stretchier vagina compared to penis inversion. Length here varies quite a bit on what tissue is available for use. Most surgeons operate with the goal of length of cis vagina when aroused. Though some will result in a short vagina. Dilating the vagina after surgery and for years afterwards will help maintain depth overtime. Anecdotally I've heard of dilation once you're past recovery stage to only be necessary if you aren't sexually active and it can depend on the type of surgery you received."
"Edit: I came here from a trans sub honestly expecting the worst and was pleasantly surprised. Thanks for the really great questions. It was fun to spend some time answering questions. I think there really isn't enough good conversation on trans topics. The people who are the loudest on trans topics are generally the ones who are not transgender, incredibly misinformed, and do not care to listen to other points of view or scientific information. So I really hope there were some good conversations that might have brought issues to people's attention/ broadened the understanding of what being transgender is. Anyways, have a great rest of your day! If you comment a follow up question to my comment I will do my best to answer if possible. :)"
- Ahtnamas555
Most Manly Experience
Thats It Season 7 GIF by One ChicagoGiphy"Trans men… do you realize the manliest experience you’re having is being told you’re not a man?"
"That’s like 60% of being a man."
- VernonDangerfield
"This was hilarious and validating thank you"
- hoddy-Ad-1746
"You know what's the crazy thing? I've always been bullied for being a girl. Decades later I come out as a girl and now the same 'manly men' tell me I'm a man. Like make up your mind! JEEZ!"
- EmilyFara
Sitting
"Does sitting down feel different after you get bottom surgery"
- Foursiide
"At least for this one trans woman, Sitting down the three months after bottom surgery is a b*tch. You're still recovering and all the irritated flesh is very painful."
"Then eventually sitting down is the same except for the fact that I no longer have my privates in the way."
"However for me personally, when I sit down my belly button feels weird because my nerve endings regrew incorrectly."
- Dungeons-n-Dysphoria
"Over a year post-op, and it feels way more natural & easy. There's no extraneous crap between my legs any more, and I can sit like a degenerate bisexual much more easily now."
- loveablehydralisk
Sensation
"Is it still possible for a person to have an orgasm after reassignment surgery? Not a doctor, but my understanding of the process of creating the genitalia (F-M or M-F) would seem to make that prospect incredibly dim."
"The sheer number of nerve endings in the clitoris and tip of the penis make it seem impossible enough survive the surgery to provide the same sensations"
- Gritsandgasoline
"My surgeon uses a technique that leaves the neurovascular bundle fully intact, the tip of the penis just gets reduced in size to form a neo-clitoris. I had my first orgasm 34 days after surgery and the intensity is pretty much as before, I just can have longer ones now."
- LegitimateNothing
"To add to what many people are saying here... there is a risk of losing sexual sensation after surgical intervention. We all know it. Before surgical intervention is performed, that risk will be made explicitly clear to the patient, they will have to acknowledge that it is a risk, and confirm, often in writing, that it is an acceptable risk, and that they are prepared for that outcome."
"It is, however, considered an unintended side effect these days... something that decent surgeon will be able to avoid almost all of the time."
- ConnectionIssues
Just A Phase
"Is there any part of you that is genuinely worried that it is 'just a phase'?"
- The-Ginger-Lily
"Yeah. That's why it took me over 10 years to accept it and begin my transition"
- phoenixdro
"Yes. Most if not all trans folk wonder this at some point, this is why a lot of us are depressed."
- Tyleos
"Yep! I think that’s fairly normal with any identity tbh. It’s annoying because rationally I know that I have dysphoria and prefer certain pronouns but my irrational brain is really good at making me second guess myself"
- Spaghetti0s67
Functions
studying busy philipps GIF by Drunk HistoryGiphy"If you’re transitioning MtF and are on hormone replacement therapy but haven’t had bottom surgery yet,"
"1) does the penis shrink up and become unusable?"
"2) can you still have penetrative sex (penis in vagina)?"
"3) can you get someone pregnant via question 2?
"I’m a cisgender woman and am genuinely just curious"
- Eppengu
"1: It varies! Some people retain full size, some people shrink. The jury is out even among the community on if you can control it, and to what extent. 2: Yes! 3: Yep! Fertility is generally harmed by hormones, but not always completely gone."
- ohdearamistake
"I am talking purely from personal experience."
"1)yes it does, but primarily when soft, you lose random erections which work as bodily check if your penis is healthy, which means it's recommended to get it erect every so often so the muscles don't atrophy, which could lead into it being unsuable."
"2)If I wanted then yes."
"3)Possibly...The funtioning sperm count heavily decreases on hormones, but that doesn't mean all of it does. Usually it's recomended to freeze your sperm before taking hormones. Still wouldn't count on it as 100% save from getting someone pregnant."
- NotElise0
"This actually hasn't been studied systematically in trans women very extensively (there are huuuuge gaps in the medical literature), buuuuut there are cis men who get testicular cancer and can't go on testosterone replacement (like, their tumors were hormone sensitive, so it's risky to go on T again), and we know a fair lot about them. Since testosterone is what mediates penile response, what applies to them seems to apply to trans women who are either pre- or non-op. Thus, to answer your questions:"
"1)It's not that simple. When you nuke testosterone, some people lose the ability to have erections, but most retain it to some degree. What disappears is nocturnal erections--ie morning wood--and the biological function of that is to exercise the skin, vascular contractions, and so forth of the phallus. Unless you work the phallus out, you'll lose size and function, but if you use it regularly, it seems to stay just fine, according to the literature."
"2)Why wouldn't you be able to? Many girls don't want to, because it makes them feel dysphoric, but those who do can. Some need help from cialis or viagra, but that's not exactly a big deal."
"3)HRT has major effects on fertility, radically reducing the likelihood. However, 24% of girls with testes on HRT still produce some amount, albeit small, of sperm even years and years into transition. So, yes! HRT is NOT birth control."
- Not_Han_Solo
Addressing Name
"I work in medicine. Often times it can be apparent that someone may be transitioning, but it’s never right to assume anything about anyone."
"I’ll usually see their given name before I meet them, and it’s standard practice to have a pt confirm with their legal name and dob."
"What do you think is the best way of being asked if you have a preferred first name other than what is 'legal' in that situation?"
"I usually stumble with something like 'Hi I’m looking for John Doe is that you? Nice to meet you, is John okay or do you go by another name?' "
"But it always feels clunky."
"Looking for advice."
"EDIT: My main clinical setting is an urban hospital in a large network of hospitals. This makes any change to charting/intake very well out of my reach, unfortunately. It is a discussion that I hope continues to climb to the administrators."
- ThatRoombaThough
"I don't know if this was to avoid using my birth name (most likely it was) but I've had doctors use just the surname when calling me and then confirming by asking for my birth date or ID."
- Eireann_9
"the way you say that is perfect, i don't think there's a better way to do it. big ups for actually asking, way too few people do that!"
- punsexual-disaster
"love that! you can still say that, if you don't want them to assume you thought they weren't cis (some people may feel discomfort from that) you can say its because some people don't like their name or go by a nickname they use as a first name (you can make up a person in your life, if you want to add in small talk, for example, both my parents don't use their legal names simply because they're too used to what friends and family have been calling them)"
- Rabbtwig
Learning
"These answers are the dialogue that's missing right now."
"After years of trying to understand, I finally feel like I get it. Thank you all for educating and enlightening! Media dialogue seems elusive and circular - these answers made clear sense and I feel like I learned something."
"Thank you!"
- ShareReportSaveFollow
"No- thank you. This comment made my day, aside from this post going viral. I’m so glad that you showed and interest and even happier that you learned something after years of trying to understand!"
- Spunkybluepuppy
"It’s been really nice to talk about it without pushback for the most part. I feel like education is what’s needed for it to be understood without malice."
- Psychoticsleep
"Media dialogue on trans people not being very helpful to understanding trans issues is very much by design - media has grown increasingly hostile to trans people in recent years."
- ihileath
"thanks for reading and learning :))"
- yeahitspostingtime
When people are willing and able to freely talk about their experiences, we can all learn a lot from one another.
Reddit user KairoLlyr asked:
"What is the most awkward question you've ever been asked?"
I'm not alone in having people ask some seriously awkward stuff. Neither are you.
No Chance To Answer.
"When I was about 13, my mom and I were watching a parrot demonstration in front of a Rainforest Cafe. Another woman watching turned to me and said, 'May I?'."
"Immediately, with no further explanation, she took a strand of my long hair and held it out to the bird, who bit it. I was just standing there with my hair in a bird's mouth. We didn't know what to do. One of the weirder things that's happened to me."
- its_garden_time_nerd
"Id love to suddenly find myself standing there, a part of me inexplicably in a birds mouth."
- EquivalentExpensive4
"Wow. Just. Wow."
- angusderp
So Did You?
Loop Spinning GIF by WWEGiphy" 'You look strong, can we wrestle?' - a man in the grocery store"
- yokononope
“Only if there’s a prize”
- TheChanMan2003
"Did he mean right then and there, or out in the parking lot?"
- Annihilated_Matter
"Who won?"
- bluehorde1781
Great Ice Breaker
"At the grocery store picking out some lunch meat (not from the deli, just some plain ole Oscar Meyer) when a man sidles up uncomfortably close to me and after a moment says, 'So….what do you think about the ham?'."
- beezholio
"Idk I think he was pretty smooth"
- Green_noob
"Ok, there are some creepy ones here. There are some funny ones too. This one... this is definitely the straight up weirdest one."
- PuzzleheadedAd822
Good Luck
Jim Carrey Flirting GIFGiphy" 'Hey man, mind if I squeeze in to try for her number?."
"Dude wanting to hit on my wife whilst sitting together at the bar."
- spit2ee
"You could have said 'You can try but I hear she's married."
"Just hope she says I'm married to this guy over here. You have a smug smile on your face, more smug than Jeremy clarkson."
" 'Told ya buddy, I hear she's married'."
- More-Masterpiece-561
"Haha had something similar happen to me with my girlfriend. I told him good luck and watched him crash and burn as she turned around grabbed my waist and said she was taken. God love her."
- SolarAU
Because Breathing.
"I have no sense of smell, and multiple people have seriously asked me why I have a nose."
- Probablyprofanity
"My wife is anosmic, and has had legit had "so if you were in a room full of poisonous gas, you wouldn't die?" because apparently it's the smell that kills you in that scenario."
- SoylentDave
"That’s when you shoot back with a retort about their brain. I’ll let you get creative, you got this 👍"
- TheChanMan2003
"Same. I have no sense of smell. People nowadays just ask if I have co-vid."
- 4449trainlover
Damn It Grandma!
Arrested Development Flirt GIFGiphy"Do you want to marry someone pretty like your sister?"
"~My grandmother, while all of us were in one room together"
- fatguy747
"My grandmother once decided to tell me my teenage cousin’s bra size and how proud she was. An aunt had to rescue me from that conversation."
- chief_sitass
That's the most awkward one. You can't even say yes so your answer won't make sense"
- The_SenateP
" 'I'd rather date someone with personality, unlike my sister'."
- Samukuai
Lack Of Melanin
"How come you're not black?""
"A 5 year old asked me this while I was teaching preschool. He was black. My assistant teacher and his one-on-one were also black. They both started laughing while my brain reset itself trying to think of a good answer and also trying not to laugh."
- Bells87
"I taught in south Memphis for a while and i was the only white person in the building. I had multiple kids ask me “when did you turn white?” and when i got pregnant, when my baby would turn black like she’s supposed to. For the vast majority of them i was the first white person they’d ever encountered."
- hakuna__frittata
First Language...
english snl GIFGiphy" 'How was it learning a new language?'... We actually speak English in New Zealand"
- North-Cow1701
"I believe it's called the Common Speech in Middle Earth."
- raalic
"My friend once introduced me to his new girlfriend that he met on a trip while in Asia. After talking a bit, I complimented her on how good her English was. She still had an accent and all but it was pretty perfect. She just responded 'it’s my first language, we speak English in Singapore'."
"My friends just gave it a chuckle and moved on but I don’t think I ever fully processed the embarrassment."
- fuzzypeaches42069
Best Way To Answer
"I have wide shoulders and large breasts and a guy sitting next to me on a flight, after he had a couple drinks, asked, 'Home grown or silicone?' I told him I carried extra sanitary napkins in my bra in case I got my period."
- Nobody_Wins_13
"I want you to be my best friend! ROTFL! The best way to answer a shocking question is to give an equally shocking answer. If that did not turn him off, nothing would. You should have added you have periods heavy enough to float an adult diaper!"
- doehlberg
"I like that comeback"
- Rin720
"Mutual embarrassment is the only solution, but I pity you that you were stuck on a flight with that guy and didn't get to leave after that zinger. It would have been the cherry on top. Now I just imagine two awkward people sitting in silence for the rest of the flight."
- walkinghomeat3am
"It does feel like you're a captive there but he did ignore me after that."
- Nobody_Wins_13
A Bit Personal
canadian what GIF by CBCGiphy"My husband is 6’11 and I was meeting one of his coworkers for the very first time."
"I told the coworker is was nice to meet him and the very first question that came out of his mouth was, ‘How endowed is your husband? Is he really big?’ "
"If that wasn’t enough he tried to get me to tell him by measuring the length of his thigh and moving his hands together or apart for comparison."
- Knightofthevegtable
"That dude was totally into your man girl! I would have said, However you've imagined it, thats exactly how it is. And I will fight you. LoL"
- Jetter37
"Lol, my boyfriend is 6’5 and I got this from a coworker too!"
“ 'So.. is it proportional? He looks like it’d be proportionate'."
- nowglobeSnot
Admittedly, none of my awkward moments have ended up with any part of me inside a strange birds mouth (familiar bird mouths only) - but I'm betting some of you out there have some awkward doozies.
Serve em up in the comments!