One Reddit user asked:
"Redditors in long-term relationships, how has quarantine affected your relationship?"
... "interesting" was the appropriate word choice.
So Much Closer
It's brought my wife and I a lot closer. I work 2.5 hours from home, 10 hour days (plus 6-8 hours overtime twice a week), 4 days a week. So I usually leave on Monday night and get home Friday night.
I've been home every night since November 18th, so getting to put my 1 year old daughter to bed every night, get up with her every morning, and spending all day with her and my pregnant wife (which allows my wife a nap every single day) has made this the best month of my life, even with me doing almost all of the household chores. According to my wife, it's made the last month as close to Heaven as a pregnant woman can get.
couple hug GIFGiphyRock Bottom
We hit rock bottom not long ago. We talked and we're working on things now. It's been tough. We live together and it's almost impossible to have some alone time. This has been one of my main problems.
I miss missing my boyfriend, you know? Spending every minute together is great, but up to a certain point
For me it's important to have my own life. You know, leave the house for work, meet up with other people. Without that I get depressed and the more time we spend together, the less excited I get about being a couple basically.
I don't like this routine. We've been together for 5 years and lived together for 4.
It's always been fine, but being forced to stay at home is a completely different story
I Hope It's The Apocalypse
Me and my girlfriend were living together for a year before lockdown, so we ended up being with each other during lockdown. It has been brilliant, we've just grown closer together and now believe we can get through anything! Next test is the apocalypse I guess.
At least I hope it's the apocalypse and not kids lol.
Call It A Day
We decided to call it a day and I moved out.
We had been seeing each other off and on, 8 years. Had been going strong for about 3 years though. We didn't realize how little we had in common until quarantine.
A Snapshot Of Retirement
Closest my wife and I have ever been. We've been married for 2 years and together for 6 total.
We've always got along great, which sounds stupid but some married couples enjoy having it out from time to time lol.
Fortunately we had planned for emergency and had enough back up to last us 6 months of no income. Wife was only out about a month and I was off for 4.
I qualified for unemployment so we were in no real danger. Plus we don't have kids or a house yet. We basically sat around lol. But hey, we worked hard for the emergency fund so that things like this hurt as little as possible.
We watched a lot of clone wars, went for walks, cooked together, slept in together and enjoyed silence together. It was nice. Now we are both working again and it's a hustle to get everything done so we can chill.
The speed of life can really slow down a relationship. It was much better when we could just be filthy casuals. I love her more than ever. It was a snapshot of retirement almost. I think I chose the right gal.
"Find Himself"
21 years of marriage down the drain because he suddenly decided he needed to "find himself."
"Himself" apparently lives on a boat and pays ridiculous amounts of money to 19 year old girls for nudes. Meanwhile I'm figuring out who I am now that my life isn't consumed with taking care of him and my now grown children.
I got a job, a car and now we get to fight over the junk we own.
boats GIFGiphyPretty Much The Same
Hasn't changed all that much.
Husband and I are homebodies by nature. We are simple people, though we did have plans to travel within the state this year.
The only other thing that sucks for us is the obvious pandemic and how we can't go to the movie theaters or restaurants.
Our date nights are trips to get food.
Oh hello me. It seems there are couples who have been brought closer, couples or have found their moment for exit, and couple who didn't really feel impacted. It seems the less impacted is less common but I'm very glad to fall into this category!
Come Closer; That's Too Close
We didn't see each other for a few months, which led to us appreciating each other more.
Then when restrictions lifted, I moved in with him. We certainly learned a lot more about each other - one of those lessons being that we both need time away from each other sometimes.
Being stuck in quarantine together was tough and led to arguments
A Weird One
I have a weird one.
My husband and I divorced in 2019. It was a ridiculous overreaction to a single fight. (We married young, and are still pretty dumb). Since our relationship was otherwise pretty solid, we kinda naturally fell back into a friendship with each other after the divorce and kept in touch. We had cats together that I got custody of and we'd regularly chat about them, for example.
We found ourselves in different states, both living with our respective parents and both going to grad school (mostly) virtually this past year. I lost my job and his job has been WFH almost all year. Quarantine was very, very lonely for us. Neither of us are very social, so no longer having work or school in person eliminated our social outlets.
We used to have each other to stay at home with and be antisocial. Going through a forced period of isolation like quarantine made us realize what we had lost by splitting up. We slowly found each other again, from hundreds of miles apart.
I never stopped loving my husband, he is one of the greatest people I know. I was happy to still get to be in his life, even just barely. But this past year we got to grow back together as slightly wiser people with straighter priorities. I don't know if we could have done that if we'd been able to keep distracted with heavy school and work schedules. If we didn't both feel the need to protect each other and be with one another when a terrifying once-in-a-lifetime event like a pandemic began, I don't think either of our dumb asses would have realized what we had given up.
- deladude
It's Not A Hoax
In the beginning good, more recently more strained.
I'm a nurse and in the beginning when their was a lot of fear I felt like we were on the same page working together to help your children and family get through these stressful times. His family are a bunch of Covid hoax believers who all contracted Covid so now my husband leans more that way- not thinking things are a big deal.
I'll come home from work and be like:
"Yeah ... we had 3 deaths before 0730 today, you acting like this isn't a big deal is a big slap in the face."
I should also point out we have VERY different political affiliations which has made things even more tense.
- bsn2fnp1
Water cooler love
We've actually gotten closer I think, been remote working for the last 9 months and before that we almost never saw each other. I'd come home too tired to do anything useful and just sit at my PC all evening mentally drained. Now during my breaks I can help her around the house giving us both more free time on my days off and spend a bit more time with her.
Devolved
Not necessarily long-term but just over a year with gf, dont live together she works and i don't have job atm
Firstly we communicate by text and haven't spoke more than a couple of sentences since mid-October. The conversations now have devolved to one message at 10pm when she's back from work and that's it.
Also, our anniversary was in November and despite going on about how it's important, she completely forgot despite me trying to hint at it.
Usually the only times we'd get to see each other would be once a week meeting in town and I usually let her let me know when she's available because of her work.
But we haven't met up since at least the beginning of October and she hasn't made an effort to since, even considering my birthday was this month
Like its not just the coronavirus she was happy to go shopping on the other side of the country
Scratch the itch
We feel stagnant. Like we don't do anything. Because, well, we don't. We haven't been going out to eat. We haven't been traveling. All our usual date ideas are no good anymore.
We've been trying a new recipe every week which has been helping scratch the itch for new experiences, but it's still just a slog.
But I love her and we're still going strong.
No exit
I am genuinely tired of spending all that time with my husband. I would love to have the house to myself for a month. We both work from home and live in a cold city. There's not much escape! I love him to death but I wish he would leave the house for only a month!!!
Hug-o-war
He moved in with me a month ago. We've mostly settled but still figuring some minor dynamics of living together. We've been together nearly nine years, but only just moved in together recently due to attending grad school in different cities.
When he moved in, I was mainly relieved that I had someone I could actually hug.
Years behind
Not much has changed. We don't meet up to grab a beer after work together anymore, I just wait for him to come home and then greet him at the door like one of our dogs lol. We play more board games and he gets more home-cooked breakfasts in the morning now that I don't have to commute to the office. It's kinda great, but we were great before quarantine too.
It just occurred to me that it's probably going perfectly because for the first 5 years of our relationship, we barely saw each other. He worked weekends and nights and I worked a normal 9 to 5 so even living together, I'd wake up for work while he slept and I'd get home from work when he'd already left to his. When he'd get home, I'd be asleep and we only saw each other conscious on weekends. So I'm still years behind on getting my fill of this guy!
Bored together
We've gotten very comfortable being bored together. We are grateful that we're in positions to be bored, when so many people are in such distress. We've learned that we can tolerate having nothing to do, and that we don't need to "solve" that with outings and errands and gatherings. We don't need to be "on" for each other and we don't feel pressure to constantly entertain each other. So I guess our gratitude has really grown and our acceptance of each other has too.
How did the pandemic affect your relationships?
YNAB!
I made a sourdough starter. Now this jar of yeast will live forever in my fridge, it's like a new pet.
Also, tracking all my expenses on YNAB! It's really reassuring knowing where my money is going and making plans to save. ImprovedMeyerLemon
The Garden.
I have a potato garden now, it's not too big but I really enjoy doing it and it's such a cool feeling when they sprout for the first time. 11Scorpion
We planted corn and other vegetables, and they are beginning to grow. It's a long-term project without instant satisfaction, like investing. PhuckNazis
Good investment.
Bought an inexpensive bidet and not going back. No longer have to worry about the lack of toilet paper in the area. Bought two 30 packs of washable, drying wipes and have never felt cleaner. Read somewhere, some time ago.... if you had crap anywhere else on your body... would you trust toilet paper to get it off? No noticeable difference in the water bill. Good investment. Stock-Suspect
Business Ventures.
GiphyI opened my Etsy shop back up. Closed it down about 8 years ago with little success. Back then I hoped it would become an income source. Now it's just a hobby, which makes it way less stressful :).
Hopefully after quarantine I'll still have time to actually make jewelry! Definitely didn't have time before :/ xTruthProofx
Family Life.
Cooking the majority of my family's meals and we eat them at the dinner table with no devices, and I take them out for a walk/hike/bike ride every night as "entertainment."
This has made me appreciate what I have even more than I did, and I'm bringing us all back to the 60s complete with B&W TV to maximize the family time. billbapapa
Push It.
GiphyDaily push-ups.
I decided to do the 30 day challenge of 100 push-ups per day. I'm typically doing 110 to 120 push-ups per day now. Before the pandemic I did zero per day.
EDIT: Also, a once a month grocery trip instead of the 2 or 3 times per week trip. We started shopping every 3 or 4 weeks now and it's been so much nicer. Buying in bulk, cooking larger meals (with leftovers), etc. We've actually been saving money doing this, mostly because we aren't doing things like buying snacks on the way home after work, etc. SharkOnGames
Get Ready.
Prepping. Even if this all ends with a whimper, even if November comes and goes without a Civil War starting, even if this flu season winter goes as usual, I'll still be prepared as much as I can be for whatever can go wrong. GE15T
The Essential.
Stopped buying things I don't need. I buy essentials and maybe a few things to help not go crazy and that's it. If you get creative you don't need to buy useless things. I wish everyone would stop buying Crap and I would sit back and watch the big malls crumble. fib16
Workday.
Hopefully, working from home. I've already begun browsing job postings. My coworkers and office culture are great, and my work is tolerable. However, the commute and constant human interaction just drain the life out of me. I've been such a better father and husband for the past 2 months, and I so don't want to go back. hertz037
Run Forrest.
GiphyRunning. I couldn't even run one mile without walking before the lockdown, now I'm running 7 miles each day. I've been trying to challenge myself - I've always hated running in the past but honestly now I'm starting to enjoy how it makes me feel. Never thought I could get into running but here I am. heyhellohigoobye
Slow. Down.
I hope that I continue to enjoy a little bit slower paced life and don't pack my schedule full of obligations and appointments and events. It's been nice to just take time and not feel rushed and actually enjoy a day off. lordvoldemortnosejob
For sure. I noticed as soon as I got out of isolation, I was annoyed by the people around me. It sure made me want to stay inside more lol. Edgelord_Joey
You Got This.
I started going to AA meetings. I have twelve days of sobriety under my belt, I'm really hoping that this is the beginning of many years clean. yourbrainonvape
On Tuesday, I'm at 9 months. Keep it up. It gets really exciting in the first few months. You can see clearly and can really start focusing on other things and appreciating parts of life you've been neglecting. homeless_gorilla
Talk to Me.
Therapy.
Admitting I need help and not repressing my feelings to myself.
I was in therapy before quarantine but the therapist was not right for me (very dismissive) so I stopped around mid February. I then fell into old habits and thought I could just figure things out and things will get better.
I'm much more optimistic with the new therapist and opening up to loved ones. I feel like I'm on a road to a better me. _fablednature
Sweat!!
GiphyWorking out at home. agito90
I do hella yoga now!!! The pain in my back is completely gone unless I slack off for a couple days. I always thought it was a cop out exercise, but it's been so helpful!!! probably_not_carole
The new Rachel Ray....
I've been cooking a lot more for my mom, since she's the only one that kept her job. She's a housekeeper too, and I will admit that I didn't pull my weight around much at home since she would tell me to leave it for her later. But I'm home now, and the housekeeper shouldn't come home to clean her own home and cook her own meals.
I'm doing my best to go through all the cabinets and cooking what we have, and I think she appreciates it.
She likes trying new things, but feels she might mess them up so she's not used to cooking new recipes that aren't part of her established knowledge base. She still buys the ingredients though, and I'm not afraid to look up things online/ know how to google. I'll make some chow mein or stew from all the odd cuts of meat we have hiding in the freezer, and so far the food experiments are turning out well/tasty =).
...except the banana bread.... I don't know what happened with that... RDKibara
Spic and Span.
Washing my hands as soon as I get home. 1000livesofmagic
Yes! don't get me wrong i was washing my hands pre-Covid but now I'm much more aware of what i'm touching throughout the day and how easy germs can spread so now i wash my hands after i unpack groceries, when i get home and i put hand sanitizer after getting into my car. soitgoes_9813
Packing On....
Weight gain. ctc_celtic
No kidding, I'm hoping to continue to do so. I've been underweight for my entire life and have been stuck in a spiral where I eat too little, which makes me lose my appetite, which makes me eat less, etc etc etc.
I finally gained 2 kg in lockdown and I'm hoping to come out healthier :)). TheRedditLogo
Do it Yourself.
My own manicures. I have saved over $50 a month doing it myself, and it's much more rewarding. Also, my nails are healthier. I was getting dip powder manis regularly, and I had no idea how thin and unhealthy my nails were. pierogiepowers
The gel manicures prevent your nails from breathing unlike traditional nail polish. They say you should let your nails breathe after 2 weeks of gel. So, 2 weeks gel, 1 week regular, 2 weeks gel, etc. Thumbupthewhat
Because of Covid.....
GiphyGrocery pick up! I always dreaded grocery shopping, but did it any way. Because of Covid, I haven't been into the grocery store in 5 weeks and instead do grocery pickup. It's a dream. truthfrommyredlips
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